Becoming Real


Once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always. ~Margery Williams 

Being a lover of bunnies, make-believe, dreaming, hoping, loving, nurturing the child within, and authenticity I was inspired to share one of Sarah Ban Breathnach’s inspirational stories from her book: Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy.

When I was a child I had more stuffed animals than I could count and I easily entertained myself for hours singing, playing, talking with, and simply loving them in my made up fantasy reality I went to daily. I was often off in another world completely consumed by the reality I created each day. I didn’t need any outside stimulation, although I often experienced much, and many friends, from the other worlds, but to me this was the authentic experience mirroring what was within- I knew nothing else.

I continued throughout my childhood, pre-teen and teenage years marching to the beat of my own drum and remaining in a reality of my own creation. Life was simply different for me, than what I saw around me, but this was something that as a child was so natural. But as time moved on and I was exposed to different things and conditionings than what I knew of as my experience, the inner dialogue started to ask questions and try to understand the differences I experienced from others.

This can be challenging to work through and process, but in the end I always came back to the fact that my natural experience of “different” was “normal” and most comfortable and authentic to who I was in my heart and soul and I didn’t like, nor operated successfully or healthily, any other way. When love came to be my experience, on a conscious level of creative choice, for and about who I was despite what I saw, felt, heard, or what anyone else would tell me, my life became “real.”

And this continues to expand exponentially and what may have at one time looked like make-believe, is belief in the making – my reality manifested.

This one in particular story by Sarah Ban Breathnach warms my heart because of the elements dear to me it holds. I hope it does the same for you. It builds on a precious story many of us know from our childhood: The Velveteen Rabbit. Here is Sarah’s sharing:

On Christmas morning the bunny sitting in the top of the Boy’s stocking with a sprig of holly between his paws looked quite splendid. He was fat and bunchy in all the right places, with a soft, spotted white-and-brown coat, thread whiskers, and ears lined in pink sateen. The Boy was enchanted and played with the rabbit for two whole hours until family directed his attention to all the other wonderful parcels lying under the tree “and in the excitement of looking at all the new presents the Velveteen Rabbit was forgotten.”

For a long time, the bunny remained just another plaything in the nursery. But he didn’t mind because he was able to carry on long, philosophical discussions with the old Skin Horse who was very old, wise, and experienced in the strange ways of nursery magic. One of the rabbit’s favorite topics of conversation was on becoming “Real.” Here is the heart of Margery Williams’s mystical tale of the transformative power of love, The Velveteen Rabbit, written in 1927.

The Skin Horse patiently explained to the bunny that “Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

Becoming Real doesn’t happen overnight to toys or people. “Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

In order for toys to become Real, they must be loved by a child. In order for us to become Real, we must become lovers of real life in all its complexity and uncertainty. Like the Velveteen Rabbit, we long to become Real, to know what authenticity feels like. Sometimes this hurts. The thought of losing our whiskers and having our tail come unsewn is frightening. In a world that judges by appearances, it’s embarrassing having all the pink rubbed off your nose. The Velveteen Rabbit isn’t alone in wishing to become Real without any uncomfortable or unpleasant things happening.

One of the ways that we become Real without too much discomfort is by growing gradually into our authenticity. As you learn to acknowledge, accept, and appreciate what it is that makes you different from all the other toys in the cupboard, the process begins. As you learn to trust the wisdom of your heart and make creative choices based on what you know is right for you, process becomes progress. As you learn to endow even the smallest moment of each day with Love, progress becomes reality perfected. Your black-button eyes might have lost their polish, but now these windows to the soul see only beauty. You become not only Real to those who know and love you, but Real to everyone. You become authentic.

I finished typing this blog at 11:11 :)

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About Tania Marie's Blog

Tania Marie is an international Reiki Master Teacher, sacred tattoo designer, visionary, inspirational workshop leader, and author of Spiritual Skin. With over 25 years’ experience in healing arts and metaphysical studies, Tania supports people globally to find inspiration and empowerment, and to live with more conscious awareness.

Posted on October 20, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I have loved everything about this post: its pink colour, the story of the rabbit, your personal experiences, the words you used :) It made me feel very grounded, joyful even peaceful. I felt like I was being cradled in really soothing warm energy. Felt like warm cinnamon cookies and mother’s love (good, happy memories of times spent with my mom I would say). This post brings up long-forgotten souvenirs from my own childhood; that childhood where days and days were spent climbing trees and having conversations with imaginary friends whilst on the look-out for pixies, fairies, elves. One of the events that had most marked me had been that special love I had for white horses. I really wanted to have a beautiful white horse to care for and to be my friend. According to my mom, I must have loved them since I was a baby. And there was a book to which I could totally relate to in that respect: ‘My friend Flicka’ by Mary O’Hara. I had always told myself that when I would be gifted a white horse, s/he would be called Flicka :)

    It’s a long lost forgotten childhood dream but it had two vital ingredients within it: Love and Innocence.

    Bless you T. You are wonderful<3

    • what a beautiful sharing Vi. i’m happy you enjoyed it and i know that while writing it, it brought up much the same for me. interesting how you and i have the horse connection. i, too, since i can remember always dreamed of having a horse and they pervaded my experience. i read horse books, watch horse movies and yes, Flicka was one of them. i had an imaginary white horse that used to follow alongside our car everywhere we went on drives with my family. later my white horse turned black.

      love and blessings to you sweetie. <3 xoox!!

  2. Really Tania? What a great share. It makes me super happy this morning. I also used to visualise a white horse who would accompany me everywhere when the family and I were in the car. And then at a certain period (still during childhood though), the white horse indeed turned black too but with a white star on its third eye. This connection dissolved in my late teens after my Father made a comment one day about how he linked this love for horses with immaturity and then several interactions followed whereby this thoughtform was further impressed upon me and I would not think of them in the years that came after that … until someone wrote a blog article and lit up an eternal spark all over again :)

    • very interesting vi! i’m glad i shared. what a cool synchronicity we have. really quite magical that we both had the same exact vision of our white, then black horse that followed us in the car with our families! i’m happy to know you have re-embraced your horse love <3

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