Be Your Own True Friend & Come To Experience Others In Their True Light As Well


Me in Peru

At Machu Picchu honoring the friend within me

I was just texting with a friend and their timing couldn’t have been more synchronous. Literally, in the middle of putting together this short post that I felt guided to quickly share, their text came through. My post inspiration is on “true friendship,” having seen this come up as a theme a lot in very sad ways, and what this friend said and shared just went along with it.

They shared with me how lonely they feel…and that they have no friends, to which I responded, “I can’t speak for anyone else in your life, but you have a true friend in me and perhaps the loneliness is asking you to love yourself more and realize the best friend you have within.”

From there all authenticity reveals itself and life is enriched.

“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” ~Roderick Thorp

“Friendship with oneself is all important because without it one cannot be friends with anybody else in the world.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

The most important thing is to learn to be your own true friend…the one that provides everything you need unconditionally and allows you to then give TRULY to others. This also opens up your channels to RECEIVE from others, as even when you desire to feel something from another person, they can only do so to the extent by which you are able to accept, receive and feel it from yourself.

me and amy in peru

Amy and me meeting at “the Heart” in Peru

The value you place on you will always be reflected. And the DEPTH that you receive in experience from others will grow in mirror to the DEPTH of the authenticity you experience within. If you desire more than superficial niceties and the occasional bursts of joy that leave you empty at the end of the day when they are no longer around, look within and consistently tap into the flow of that infinite source of true unconditional love daily for yourself in authentic ways.

The highs and the lows of life can eventually come to rest in more balance and harmony, as we keep going further in our self-love and innate Divinity with each pendulum swing.

laura-and-me-mirroring-the-ancient sumerians

Laura and I mirroring the Ancient Sumerians and each other

The challenges we have with people and “friends” stems from our relationship with ourselves. They will mirror EXACTLY what we need to see and embrace and what we need to cultivate more of so that we are no longer triggered, threatened, envious of, frustrated, hurt, or angered by others. Turning away or cutting someone out of your life is not the answer either. This works for removing the triggers that may be annoying or bothersome and helps provide you the space to recoup your energy, but if you haven’t taken the time to courageously and vulnerably look within and haven’t done integrative healing work about what exactly it is about the experience with that person that bothered you or created the adversity you experienced, it will inevitably circle around again in some form or another until you stand still with the truth and integrate it unconditionally.

To learn to walk a life of true alchemy you must practice it. Part of living is about learning the simple secrets of alchemy and remembering the magician that you are, as part of the Universal, Ever-Loving and Continually Creative Source.

I guarantee you that when you look within yourself, ask the challenging questions, and process the adjustments and changes for yourself on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, your experience with that person, persons, or anything that triggers you will simply and magically transform. Sometimes we think the experiences have shifted because the other person just starts to mirror your avoidance too and so then you live in untruth until the next trigger that blows out and you wonder how that happened, or until the next trigger that may not even stem from them, but comes from someone or something else altogether to get your attention.

Things don’t just go away unless we do the powerful work.

We can’t fool ourselves by avoiding or filling our lives with stimulation. At some point or another, which is definitely the focus of the energy now that is making it crucial and no longer a luxury to say, “I’ll work on that later,” we will have to do the deeper integrative processing…and this will lead to the new, authentic, and consistently harmonious and magical experiences that have never been possible before.

In the end, after the veils fall, you will come to know yourself as the best friend you always wished for, and you will come to know who really was always your unconditionally loving friend. And when you do, cherish your and their preciousness and carry that through to every connection you have with others so that you can be that true friend they can cherish as well.

“I believe that true friends talk without intention, give without reason, care without expectation, love without condition, and will be there through thick and thin.” ~Nishan Panwar

“At the end of the day, the people who really matter will be the ones standing next to you watching the sun set and assuring you that it will rise again in the morning.” ~Ash Sweeney

“Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest …It’s about who came, and never left your side.” ~Unknown

Every day is opportunity to challenge our hearts deeper and come to know and cherish the friend within so that we can really see and experience others in their true light as well.

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About Tania Marie's Blog

Tania Marie is an international Reiki Master Teacher, sacred tattoo designer, visionary, inspirational workshop leader, and author of Spiritual Skin. With over 25 years’ experience in healing arts and metaphysical studies, Tania supports people globally to find inspiration and empowerment, and to live with more conscious awareness.

Posted on May 2, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Mari Braveheart-Dances

    I see some sense in this, though my perspective is a little different, I think we need to be careful in the case of any kind of abuse: emotional, physical, sexual – that people don’t feel those experiences mirrored something they initiated/influenced. That’s too heavy a guilt trip for me. And I go there because it is my experience. Being abused you should never feel it’s your fault whatsoever. Perhaps you can clarify. But no worries. It’s just I am somewhat troubled by this business of mirrors. It is in many ways helpful, but to me it’s like most other tools – it’s not all there is. It seems like a pat answer and doesn’t entirely translate for me. But I do benefit from thinking about this in some regard, so your writing about it supports that sometimes-quest of Mirrors in my life. It’s always an honor to bless and be blessed by you, Tania.

    Heart to Heart, Mari

  2. love you mari and always appreciate your sharing and insight. i think you bring up a good point. i agree that what you are talking about has much more complexity to it and for sake of this post i was focused more on the day to day relationships and friendships and one very powerful tool that can shift the way we relate and feel about ourselves and others. with anything i share, i do stress the importance of nonjudgment towards self and others and to be loving and gentle with yourself when you are unraveling your inner core depths. i do realize that there are other facets that come into play in cases like abuse (which would benefit from working with someone able to devote the time and help with the complexities), as you share and even in other non-abusive relationships that can go into other layers and even into past lives, etc. and all of it needs to be delicately addressed so as not to create any blame on any one’s part and no guilt and resentment, but to be able to come to an understanding and forgiveness so that healing can take place. my blog isn’t meant to go into all of the layers, as that would be very time consuming and is more work-intensive in terms of what i offer in service and what others who are gifted in these areas, are able to offer professionally to assist. blogs are a place to share snippets of information that can hopefully be of benefit to others in some small way. i write about things that hopefully provide some sense of inspiration and peace, insights, supportive energy, or maybe thoughtfulness to look at potentialities we may not have thought about, but i in no way address every complexity, especially if it is out of my scope of professional work. i only speak about things i know and have personally experienced. i do know that very emotionally charged and traumatic experiences can be extra challenging for us to look deeper into at times and which can be why help from an outside trusted, and well-versed professional can be vital to the process of healing since it is hard to understand some of the layers of things i talked about on our own in these incidences. thank you so much for bringing this up, as i am sure others may have similar questions and if they need further help hopefully they will find someone to assist integrating them through all of the layers. the mirroring aspect, or simply just working within our own feelings and what they reveal for us and peeling back our layers so we find the inner child that desires our love, can be a powerful “part” of the process. we aren’t all capable of doing this alone though, as it can get very dark and scary at times, so i’m happy to know there are wonderful, loving, and gifted people who can help.

    xoox love and blessings always!

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