Learning Unconditional Love


In keeping with the flow of themes I see/feel come up collectively and honoring what wants to come through in support of that, today’s post is inspired by the sharings of Orin, channeled by Sanaya Roman. In her easy-to-follow book, Personal Power through Awareness, Orin shares a chapter on Learning Unconditional Love.

This chapter has some very simple gems of wisdom, yet these can also be some of the most challenging to actually put into consistent practice. Our minds would like to say, “Oh yes, I get that,” but then we find difficulty in the follow-through. We can even easily avoid situations, create ingenious excuses that seem “spiritually” sound, deny the value of what we are showing ourselves, or stuff down feelings without embracing and processing through them.

We have the ability in each moment and each experience or interaction, to practice unconditional love and create magically empowered moments of healing alchemy. And this is exactly what you will experience, when you in fullness ARE BEING unconditional love in every moment.

I can’t begin to share the ways I’ve seen some of the most challenging of experiences in my own life transform. Where I may have before been frustrated by my illusion of things that felt “powering over” me, I’ve become grateful for, seeing how each of the experiences I call up are there to help me to exercise greater depth of love, and to realize my own “power of” these things in that moment to change my experience instantly – and at the same time transform things collectively.

Rather than fight things or people, if I feel uncomfortable and not so great feelings come up, I press pause and ask myself what I’ve decided to teach myself today that will help me grow in bigger ways. I know that what I just had mirrored to me, was exactly the thing I needed most along my evolutionary trajectory to work on and that when I do embrace and integrate it, it will reveal and gift me with empowered peace and balance.

Unconditional love is a continuous journey to a natural way of “being” we will challenge ourselves to practice throughout life, as since love is limitless, there is no end to how vast it can reach. Radiating the pure intensity of love and integrity, coupled with the ageless wonders of faith, hope, and charity will awaken the mysteries of the universe when we understand the true value of their meaning.

Here are some passages with noteworthy insights from Orin, channeled by Sanaya Roman, from the chapter Learning Unconditional Love:

Unconditional love means keeping your heart open all the time. To do so, you may need to let go of the expectations you have of other people, of wanting them to be anything other than what they are. It means letting go of any need for people to give you things, act in certain ways, or respond with love. Many of you wait for other people to be warm and loving before you are.

Unconditional love is learning to be the source of love rather than waiting for others to be the source.

Unconditional love allows you to join with others and keep your personal boundaries intact. To be able to join with others, know your own boundaries. People desire to join with others, to have intimate connections and yet at the same time to be separate. If you are feeling suffocated in a relationship, being asked to do things you do not want to do, it is because you are not clear about your own boundaries. Although it is easier to blame the other person, it is you who needs to get clear about your boundaries. On the other hand, if there are things you want from another person that you are not getting, it is because you are trying to use the other person to fill a space within you that only you can fill.

Unconditional love transforms fear.

Fear is like a background noise that circles the planet, affecting many actions and decisions. It takes strength and courage to face what you fear. As you become aware of energy, you will also become aware of fear. The first place to examine it is in yourself, although it may be far more visible to you in other people. If, when you look at a friend or loved one, you can see clearly where he or she is closed or fearful, see if it is a reflection of a place within you that needs more love.

It is easier to see things in other people than in yourself. That is why the universe will often teach you something about yourself by putting you around people who show you what you are learning. You would not focus on that trait or part of them if you were not working on those issues yourself.

Fear can come from your thinking patterns. I see common thoughts that tell you you are bad and that if you do not watch out, you may be harmed. These are mass thoughts shared by many. You will at some point face them directly in yourself as you begin going upward into the higher levels of the universe. Fear shows up in thoughts that are very self-critical – wondering if you have disappointed someone, thinking that you aren’t trying hard enough, or that you yourself are not enough.

If you discover your fears as you open to a new relationship, do not make yourself wrong. Fear is an undercurrent and the more you can discover it and face it the more you can heal it through your unconditional love and acceptance of yourself.

How do you discover fear? Look at some area of your life where you have a decision to make. Ask yourself if there are any reasons you do not feel free to make a decision to do what you want to do. Perhaps there is a fear that there will not be enough money, a fear that you cannot make it on your own, that you will not succeed, or a fear that others do not love you and will not want you if you do not live up to their expectations, or if you stand up for yourself. As you look at the decision, ask yourself, what would you do if you knew you were totally safe and protected, guided and loved by the higher forces of the universe? If you knew your soul was assisting you in every way possible, and if you knew you could fully trust your wiser self, would you make a different decision? This is one way of uncovering fear.

Fear is a place that has not yet discovered love.

Fear is often disguised as logical and rational reasons why something cannot be done. Sometimes it comes disguised as a feeling that other people are stopping you. There are many ways to disguise fear – blame it on others, refuse to take responsibility, decide you can’t do it anyway so why try, get angry and quit, and many others. What ways do you use to cover up fear?

If you discover you are doing these things, the first step is to recognize that the reason you are avoiding something or feeling bad about another and yourself is because of fear, and that is a place that requires your unconditional love.

When you notice yourself responding to other people with fear rather than love, perhaps pulling away from them, afraid that they will reject you, make you wrong, or ask too much of you, thank yourself for becoming aware of fear. Love that part of you that is afraid, and then begin to radiate unconditional love.

When you are judgmental or critical, you are most affected by other people’s energy. If you look at people and think, “They ought to work harder, get their act together,” these thoughts pull their negative energy into you. What you see in them is what you begin to experience in them, for as you focus on something you draw it out. What you fear you draw to you. Get in touch with that gentle loving part of you, your higher and wiser self, that guides you in to being more loving.

When you experience uncomfortable barriers and boundaries between yourself and others, it is a sign that you need to transmit more love to others and to yourself….Some of you try to put on a brave and strong front, acting in ways that says, “I will not be vulnerable or hurt.” Yet, that very act creates fear and pain, attracting even more negative action from people that then requires an even braver exterior.

Look at times you want to close your heart, the times at which you say, “I have had enough, this person is not being loving enough for me, I think I am going to leave.” In every relationship, no matter how long-term or solid, there will always be a challenge to keep your heart open. How else do you learn unconditional love but by coming up against all those ares in which your heart is closed? Each time you come to a place in which you want to closer your heart, you now have the opportunity to establish a new pattern, and keep it open. You may still choose to leave or change the nature of the relationship, but you can do so with love. You may think that the best friends are those who never challenge you, who never make you want to closer your heart, and yet if you are with people who never challenge you to remain open and loving, you are not truly connecting with them in your heart. The heart always deals with issues of trusting, opening, and reaching new levels of acceptance and understanding of others.

You learn to love by putting yourself in situations that challenge you to be loving.

Tolerance is an attribute of unconditional love….The quality of tolerance is the ability to stay calm and unruffled no matter what happens, to allow people to be themselves and make their own mistakes. It allows you to provide that warm, safe harbor for them where they can bask in the steadfast light of your acceptance.

Whatever you give others is also a gift to yourself.

The ability to accept other people for who they are is a great challenge, and as you master it, so do you give that gift to yourself….

The quality of defenselessness is important. It is that feeling that you have nothing to defend, hide or apologize for. It comes from a feeling of self-acceptance, not justifying behavior that you want to improve, but knowing that making yourself wrong for it will only lock you into that behavior longer.

If you have nothing to defend, life becomes easier, for you do not have to pretend to be anything you are not.

Life is harder when you think you have to defend your beliefs, thoughts or self. I will suggest that most of the things you think you have to defend are beliefs and ideas that are not yours anyway. You rarely get offended and hurt when someone disagrees with the things you are sure about.

Forgiveness is part of unconditional love. Forgive yourself throughout the day for all the moments when you are not high, not loving and not wise. Forgive others for all the moments they are not high, loving and wise. As you forgive, you make it easier to become those things you want to be, and you make it easier for others to become them also.

People who respond to you in a way that seems to deny that you are a loving being are coming from a place of fear within themselves. If they ignore you, make you wrong, say unkind things, or act in a way that implies you are not their equal, realize that they are coming from fear. You do not need to respond to the fear within them by creating it within yourself. Instead, you can become a source of healing to those around you.

You attract situations into your life to learn from them. One way out and up is by responding with love. As you do so, every situation will change in its nature and character. By practicing, you can learn to broadcast love for longer and longer periods of time.

Love brings beauty to everything and everyone. Most of all, love brings beauty to you.

As you become filled with light, your power to affect the world around you increases.

If people in your life are sending out negative energy and not meeting your expectations, it is important to send them unconditional love. They are simply being themselves, doing the best they know how. You will find great inner peace when you do not need others to act in a certain way to be happy yourself. You will become a radiating beacon of energy and the higher you go the further you can reach with your thoughts.

Find reasons to love the unlovable, to care for people who act in destructive ways. There is not one person alive who does not grow from the broadcast of love. Whenever you give love it comes right back to you, changes your vibration and aura, and you become even more magnetic to love coming to you. It may not come from those you are sending love to, but it will come.

About Tania Marie's Blog

Creating life as a work of art with a magick rabbit by my side. I remember my song. Do you? Artist, Author and Reiki Master Teacher with over 25 years' experience in creative healing arts and metaphysical studies. Tania inspires people globally to return to natural harmony, draw forth imagination to manifest dreams, embody creative empowerment, and live more magickally and abundantly from their most natural frequency – in essence, Tania helps you to remember your song.

Posted on September 17, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Mari Braveheart-Dances

    Beloved – Thank you for this graceful offering, my sister. You are a loving being, that is so evident in all you write and say and do. I am loving as well, but i have sharper edges than you do. I think my place is different than yours. But I do want this unconditional love thing you’ve got going – my work is done on a level of spiritual warrior where i am fighting the powers of darkness. it is easy to get sucked into that unhealthy dance, and i agree that setting boundaries – in love, for sure – is essential. I also believe that there are times when others do not wish to hear your truth, if they themselves are not ready. I may set good boundaries, but the other person may not be willing to hear that, because of their own refusal to do their own work. I think there are times when love is not enough. When people’s walls are so thick and they are so rigid, that they cannot help but spit out poison to the one person who can help them the most. So – all one can do is try to speak one’s truth in love.

    The reason I say it is a spiritual battheground, is because I see the energy in what is causing people to be blind and not take care of their own work, instead be energy vampires with others, wanting them instead to do it for them. And they are so firmly entrenched in their own values which are so hurtful they cannot change. Or will not change. It is sometimes too much for the enlightened person to bear – to over and over and over again try to help them to see that their judgments are killing spirits, just by their loving and accepting presence.

    People sometimes don’t want to hear. And there is nothing you can do about it. You express love and understanding, and if they are working through their own shit and it’s so so toxic – sometimes all you can do is lovingly and gently back away. There can be a contamination effect, and I think it’s important to be smart and protect yourself if you need to.

    One must evolve into a Warrior strong enough to handle the most deadly of energetic hits. I agree that it is all about love – but that is more difficult than it sounds if you are processing complex energetic information for both yourself and others, because others aren’t doing the work. /And it is your destiny to see energy beneath the surface, whether you want to or not. It just is. Even if I don’t try to do anyone’s work for them anymore, I still see energetically what is going on. This takes energy just to see. I have no room for dodging harmful energetic bullets anymore, and won’t do it. But in families where this bad stuff doesn’t stop – wow, what guts it takes to continue trying to love in spite of all the venom! It’s not a walk in the park. It’s dangerous shit.

    But then – Sacred Tattoos enhance this process like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. So I know I am right with my path – loving myself, loving others.

    I feel i must develop a teflon skin. I become stronger and stronger and more and more a Wise Woman and Warrior Goddess, and yet there is a chink somewhere in my energy field which allows the slipperiest barb in – and stabs me in my heart! Only from my dear mother does this happen. I understand and have so much compassion for her – for I see clearly where it is coming from. Yet when she says to me, upset at me for one thing or another and I am not behaving as she wishes I would — “We took you in to our family” (adopted at 4 days) – I heard the belief she has that says part of being in a family is pleasing others, and not doing things that will disapoint or hurt others. She views me as having failed in my family duties. I completely understand why she says this! I love her regardless!! It makes me sad for her, and my compassion is endless for her.

    Yet – the truth is that no matter how much compassion and understanding and love I have for her, I am still human. And her mean comments hurt me. More importantly, they are too much for me – there has to be a line drawn that says no to this. Though I have drawn that line in love, it is not respected or heard – and it likely will never be. These people are too bound up in their webs.

    Even when I set clear boundaries, she does not listen, does not hear – it is as if I speak a foreign language. Unless I see life the way she does, I will not cease to disappoint her. And she won’t cease putting out the horrible barbs, she cannot help herself.

    I am empowered in my own strength and endless unconditional love. Yet there are times, I think, when one has to admit that she cannot carry the ball anymore for others, not even family. When one has to admit one has done one’s best, and simply failed. And will never be successful in reaching mother or family member who is resistant to opening to the truth of this love and lack of judgment.

    In other words, all I can do is love. Unfortunately, tragically, that is not always enough to save the sinking ship.

    But bottom line, I do agree that unconditional love is the answer. Even in dangerous and difficult situations in the energetic realms.

    I bless you in my heart and soul, Tania.

    Love always, Mari Braveheart-Dances

    • thank you dearly Mari Braveheart-Dances for sharing vulnerably from your heart. you have been on a courageous journey and i honor all that you have been through to get to where you are.

      i do agree, that unconditional love, while the answer, does challenge us to go very deep and it can be hard when processing the most painful things in our lives. with practice it becomes easier and we more and more realize what you have shared, that all we can do is love and it does not matter what the other person does, as with unconditional love, we give it without expectation of an outcome.

      i am so happy you have found the path of sacred tattoos and creating your own spiritual skin to be a powerful tool for empowerment. as you know, i share this and it has been a joy to co-create with you and to see you blossom.

      many blessings and much love to you always

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