Change is Your Friend Disguised in Fear’s Clothing

changeI am returning this week from what was quite an amazing weekend shared at our Reiki Renewal Retreat this weekend in Laguna Beach, California, so I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things here, which includes integrating some pretty major energy shifts experienced.

I’ll be sharing about our beautiful weekend in an upcoming feature story blog, but for now I feel guided to touch on change, once again, being that not only am I in process of this, but the new Reiki Master Teachers from our weekend are as well, and it feels very prevalent collectively too.

It’s not that change isn’t always happening, as indeed it is in every way, but there are currents of perhaps more intensified and rather dramatic shifts that flow in, like now.

We talked about a lot of things over this last weekend and some of it included the experiences of embracing, integrating, and recalibrating change, and how we can assist this process with greater ease, grace, personal commitment and responsibility, as well as compassionate understanding.

Change can be uncomfortable at first, which is why most people shy away from it, as it seems too overwhelming. It can herald a period of “healing crisis” where all of the “icky” stuff comes to the surface and is felt with increased sensitivity, as it is in process of cleansing out.

Yet what most people don’t realize is that it’s simply the temporary growing pains of new expansion your soul is entertaining courageously – a lot of which is a result of illusion created from conditioned beliefs, that if simply embraced with open breath and heart, would integrate with grace and ease into a whole new landscape of possibilities awaiting…. possibilities that don’t exist and never will, if we allow the fears to define us, rather than our breath to expand us.

I immediately had the opportunity to put my own “change embracing” to the test, once I set foot back into the world after the “other-world” bubble we were sharing in over the weekend. I could feel the huge expansion that was happening with me and that became physically evident when I blew out my cell phone late Saturday afternoon.

I went to take off the charger connection to it, so I could take my cell to the beach, but as I reached for the connector to pull it out, my fingers literally were on fire, burning, and I then smelled that fire singe when something is frying. I immediately let out a squeal from the burning sensation and dropped the connector. I picked it up again, by the chord, and saw it was blackened at the end and melted a bit. The area where it connects on my cell phone also was. The outlet was fine. The area of the chord that plugs in was fine.

That was the first blow out and I just embraced it as part of the shifting taking place, as I know how normal blowing out electronics can be when your energy is expanding and raising, and you are going through an upgrade. I’ve blown out other cell phones and my computers this way and also when my energy gets heightened by something.

So Monday, after the retreat I designated part of the day to getting a new cell phone, but after visiting the bank first. And as soon as I put my card and deposit in and touched the screen, the ATM machine went all weird and then spit out some error message after the thinking wheels were turning for a while, trying to process it (the energy), then immediately went out, holding my ATM card and money hostage. 🙂

It took me a while to have them correct things and get my card back. And I did have to return yesterday, as the deposit correction hadn’t worked either. So there was a patient process of dealing with the turn of events in my energetic field.

After the ATM fiasco, I visited the ATT store with my mom and Lynne – my sweet friend and one of the retreat guests. I think we gave the ATT staff an experience they’ll be talking about for a while to come, as we were like ET’s landing on Earth from another dimension and were pulling out pendulums and had this energy emanating that was quite a contrast to the technological conversations taking place there. They kept being drawn in, but also wide-eyed and in huddled conversation when not near us.

I had no idea what I was looking at in terms of getting a new cell phone, nor did I know if we could retrieve my contact data. The cell phone was completely inaccessible and the staff said they’d never seen anything like what they saw when they looked at.

Being non-techy I am not one who backs up my data on my cell by connecting it to my computer. And I had no idea if the “ON” button was on, that automatically does iCloud storage backup. But I did assess by going online that indeed my iCloud had everything backed up automatically and was completely up to date. Thank you Universe for always watching my back. 🙂

So, I had the option of either upgrading to the newest iPhone from my 4S iPhone, or I could choose a completely new cell altogether. Not being wed to any company or type of electronics, I was completely ambivalent. However, I started seeing this, as I always do, as much more than merely a cell phone upgrade choice.

The cell phone represented me and my vehicle of communication, as well as my ability to connect worldwide with others, and share. This choice of upgrade felt like that opportunity I had available and varying options/ways to go about it.

Jose and I discuss Galaxy Note 3I had actually been very curious about the Android Galaxy (of course being drawn to the name and how that really suits me) and had been feeling it in my field for the last several months even though I’ve had two iPhones back to back. Well, actually 3, but the first didn’t last long due to “technical difficulties”.

But I could feel my hesitancy (the same we all feel when faced with something different to handle), when faced with this bombardment of unclear and unknown factors, and the potential for the time and energy put in to get things up and running.

So, I really wanted to step back and review all the angles, possibilities, and explore the information provided, so I could make the most fitting wise discernment of choice that truly reflected the natural and real me – not the stressed me that was having temporary infiltration from something outside of my personal frequency. (LOL!! ok, right now as I wrote this, something I had on pause on my computer since this morning decided to just unpause right as I am making this declaration, with very dramatic, expansive music!)

We ended up being in the store for about 3 hours total that day and were passed along to 3 different people in the process, ending with Jose, who was really patient with us and giggled along the way, entertaining our unique way of exploring the options.

I asked if I’d be able to switch my contacts easily to the Galaxy and they got their tech guy out who was sharing how difficult it would be, but yes, possible. I asked if they would help me with my email synching, as it has been challenging because I have them through a hosting company, which has different ways of setting up the incoming and outgoing details needed. They said they’d do their best and try to look it up and help me.

I have to admit, I was stressed about the contact thing. At first, thinking that I had lost them, but I quickly released that saying “what a clean slate I will have and I’ll just contact the people I’m meant to be in connection with.” Then I was stressed about the whole process, on top of the pile up of work I had right now to do.

I was also feeling stress about the email connection, as I know how challenging it was before and I had to spend time on the phone because the store couldn’t do it once. The second time they had.

So, this was part of the things to weigh, along with the newness of a whole new “galaxy” of learning with the new system.

In the end, I DID choose the Galaxy Note 3, which was completely a new change all around for me. But it wasn’t without facing some tough and anxiety producing situations along the way. All three of our pendulums – mom’s, Lynne’s, and my own, despite any of the challenges presented, were all pointing to the Galaxy.

Jose and the other 2, including manager, all expressed how much they liked the Galaxy, but that it is definitely a huge learning curve for an iPhone user, and I could tell without them saying it, that they felt women were even more challenged with switching and tended to like iPhones more.

They shared that 90% of iPhone users who try the Galaxy, return it within the 14-day trial window you have.

When asked why this is, they said, that it simply was too challenging for them to learn a new system, when they were already used to the one they had.


I asked Jose if I could have a moment to process things and I instantly connected with my first thought I had said out loud from the get-go, that although there would potentially be challenges to overcome at first, that it was of benefit to embrace the big change , as it would produce greater return.

I just knew this was the right truth for me and it no longer made sense as to why I would go to the iPhone, when I’m truly wanting to embrace the change and this new upgrade in my life. I’m a person who likes to be consistent with everything I do and I see how every choice I make is symbolically connected to how I am stating to the Universe that I would like to proceed in my life. Each choice is not only providing me the guidance in what gets brought up in the process, but also the training in how to assimilate all new things across the board

While it would have been an upgraded iPhone and still some things to learn, it wasn’t the kind of change (big) that I wanted, nor knew would be best for me and where I’m headed, which entailed something completely unfamiliar in every way where I only had trust in my pocket to guide me, rather than a safety net of remnants of old comforting things to fall back on.

I could see how that 90% of people they mentioned going back to the iPhone, was significant in how many people really do fear change, in general, and would rather have things easier, even if that meant not challenging themselves into potentially exponential new experiences and adventures that they could benefit from if only they could trust and embrace each step of the journey.

I could understand why that is, as I had to face those stressful “ideas”, which in fact they really were just conditioned, old ideas, fears, and ultimately – illusions.

Jose tried to connect my email after quite the effort, and even going online to look up how to do it, but to no avail he could not. So, I just decided to embrace that as long as I had a cell phone, I’d take it a day at a time and just slowly get things operational, even if that meant making long tech support calls.

However, none of this came to be. The initial “perceived” anxieties proved to not only be illusions and false, but proved to provide me extra value when I decided to listen to my heart guidance instead, despite everything else trying to steer me elsewhere.

Jose and I as I get ready to take Galaxy Note3 home

Me happy with my Galaxy Note3 choice with Jose who assisted

My embracing the change with trust and ultimately, excitement, proved a gift. I was able to find different information online that Jose hadn’t, and set up my email easily and quickly. 🙂 I also went online and easily found information on how to transfer my contacts from one system to another, which proved different than the info their tech guy had told me and easily and quickly had all my contacts in my new phone.

All of this was perfect, as I was supposed to hear the challenging info in order to really make it that much more powerful of a choice I made to embrace the change.

And in the process, I’ve discovered that I actually do like this system and cell phone better and there are tons of cool things I can do and explore, as I have time, that I couldn’t do before. It’s a daily learning curve, but that’s part of my commitment to growth.

I feel that Jose and the gang at ATT are anticipating my return to the store before the 14-day trial period. I had the thought to wait until day 15 and then stop in to say hi and how much I’m enjoying my new cell phone. 😉

I can definitely see the reflection of this experience, in how it relates to my new changes and the direction I’m heading in, the way I believe in approaching life, and how I desire to walk in the action of those beliefs.

Many see change as the enemy, but until you make it your friend and valued ally, you won’t experience the graceful way it can bestow gifts in your life. Transformation is a force for real growth and real growth can sometimes mean pain or discomfort, though can be experienced with the understanding of its natural cycle.

Think of nature and its cycles. Nature doesn’t question the onset of fall when leaves and blossoms disappear, and then everything goes into a winterland slumber. It also doesn’t judge springtime blooming as any better than the harvesting of fall, or the reflective time winter can herald, reminding us that all we need is within and there we find the tools that can see us through any environmental experience.

Without the interim of pain or challenge, you would not feel alive and there would also be no aliveness of joy, nor a butterfly birthed from the caterpillar.

It is when we block, stop, or judge the change set in motion, that we experience increased and unnaturally prolonged discomforts, which in essence are merely lovingly trying to get your attention because, guess what?

You love yourself more than you allow yourself to realize and the knowing part of you will always act in your best interest to support you into remembering who you really are.

While the mind and spirit find more ease in understanding why things happen, the old ways of our emotions have not the luxury of such logic. Our hearts are transforming into higher heart experiences that can feel unconditionally. Yet, human emotions take time to make sense of it all and should be given the honor of their natural unfolding to do so, free of judgment that binds us to our suffering. And judge not judgment, as it is an opportunity for allowance. We have the power to choose our way of experiencing and in taking ownership of our suffering, we are led to harmony, balance, and joy.

Human “Being” is a state of experience that is ever complex with duality, but was also meant to be a gift of harmonious union between physical and spiritual, which allows us the ability to experience and create in amazing ways. We as humans are gifted the opportunity of unlimited expansiveness and by design are extremely sophisticated, refined, and highly developed consciousness potentials waiting to blossom. And this IS your time to blossom.

Yet, for a long time we have chosen only to live a fraction of that potential, unaware of what lies just on the other side of that wall we either hid behind or straddled.

What is the fear? Perhaps it is a fear of the promise of joy and what that could mean. And likely it is also the fear of responsibility in coming fully into your power and what that empowerment can mean for your life and all of the people you come in contact with. This fear is a powerful thing that when chosen, surrenders your power to choose, as it can take over your life like a dis-ease.

We fear our own humanness, the very thing that is so beautifully powerful, and what it would do if unleashed. Fear creates the separation and hinders your ability to see other perspectives that could instantly disintegrate it. Our true hearts will never steer us wrong and reality can transform miraculously if we live in, and choose from, them always. We then come to understand the limitless choices of experience and continuity of life, beyond duality that lives with us from this state of being.

From our fragmented perspective, we fear death and endings as permanent and final. Like a door brutally slammed on our hearts, just as we were learning to open them. The secret here is that while a closed door might, in the realm of conditioned thought, mean the end to something and a desire to give up and never try again, the opposite is also true and might simply mean that a circle of life has completed a revolution and is about to pick up momentum for the next more expansive spiral of experience.

The choice is yours.

Every pain has both the ability to sour us for life, or to sweeten the journey. The deeper we allow ourselves to explore the realms of watery abyss, the more beautifully we learn to swim with the grace and flow of our cetacean friends, through the turning tides of life.

Every coin has two sides and these two sides are part of the same coin. Yin and Yang are complete opposites, yet are integral to Oneness. One creates the possibility for the other and therefore, is not a separate experience, nor cancels the other out. Together, they are grace in perfection; a feeling without words that is the expansive totality of consciousness “being” the essence of unconditional love.

We can learn to move in and out of each with grace, understanding from a third perspective that observes with conscious awareness, responsible commitment, and unconditionally loving compassion.

Therefore, to know your pain is to know your joy. And in order to truly know the depths of joy, sometimes you will choose to walk in the shoes of pain, until the experience becomes a perfect fusion. The beauty is that the length of each season is determined solely by the perspective you embrace, until the season integrates into one cycle.

Loss can be challenging, especially when someone is in your heart so deeply or you’ve become conditionally comfortable where you are. However life is not about plateauing to some never-to-change-again experience. We are constantly evolving and learning more about our nature of personal reality. That entails new horizons to adventure into, as well as new and exciting hurdles to walk or leap through.

In time, we can grow from the experiences and create new processes of how to move with greater ease and grace through life by embracing our new perspectives. It’s not that you rid yourself of ever having to experience challenge, but you learn to move through them more naturally and start implementing more efficient processes so that you no longer consciously see things as a problem or difficult. You simply move through them like Nature does her cycles, without blocking the flow with your getting stuck.

When we try to hold on to something or someone, all we do is hurt ourselves and stop the promise of new seeds to blossom. There is a web of life and magically supportive gifts within each experience for our perspectives to embrace. And within shifting perspectives, the opportunity for powerful soul growth.

It’s like that moment a butterfly emerges from the cocoon, discovering its chrysalis form has taken flight. It does not mourn the loss of its caterpillar self, but embraces the joy of this new and expansive creation it has become. Not a death; merely a transformation. A simple change of perspective.

Some words to reflect on:

Responsibility is a grace you give yourself not an obligation. ~Dan Millman

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings. ~Rumi

One act of surrender, one change of heart, one leap of faith, can change your life forever. ~Robert Holden

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. ~Alan Watts

The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That’s all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it’s something you allow. ~Will Garcia

Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world. The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same. Every wonderful sight will vanish, every sweet word will fade. But do not be disheartened. The source they come from is eternal, growing, branching out, giving new life and new joy. Why do you weep? The source is within you and this whole world is springing up from it. ~Rumi

About Tania Marie's Blog

Creating life as a work of art with a magick rabbit by my side. I remember my song. Do you? Artist, Author and Reiki Master Teacher with over 25 years' experience in creative healing arts and metaphysical studies. Tania inspires people globally to return to natural harmony, draw forth imagination to manifest dreams, embody creative empowerment, and live more magickally and abundantly from their most natural frequency – in essence, Tania helps you to remember your song.

Posted on March 26, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Hello dear Tania! Absolutely love your post and the correlation between the phone and what you were experiencing. Indeed all is connected, it’s not random or “just a coincidence’. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us. So much shifting all around. I too had my moment of discomfort last week. I had the dream the weekend before last about having my hand held, being protected and safe, to just jump in with clothes and all. Well it was not only reassuring but prophetic. The following day, my job offered an expanded position that would encompass becoming the head of HR for our company. This position entailed sending me to Houston, TX for training. I didn’t say yes or no for a few days….I was in a bit of a panic because I had been seriously contemplating a change but hadn’t made any plans as of yet. What if I told them and I found myself with no job and no income. How could I make that change. Then mid week I fell down the stairs, it was a long fall head first 14 stairs and then hit my head at the bottom. Although somewhat discombobulated from the fall and a bit sore and stiff, I was not seriously hurt…which in my estimation was a miracle. I had been protected. I did think to myself the fall meant something and that I should listen to it. But what? I happened to be speaking to a dear medicine sister of mine a night later and realized that I had not been stepping into my integrity and truth by just speaking my truth. So that Friday on my 60th birthday I took the stand for the life I wanted and told them that I had been considering make a change but had not made any plans as of yet. With the offer of the new position, and the thought of the expense of training that they would provide, I couldn’t allow them to spend that money if I was not here in six months. Phewwww,,,,,I can’t tell you how much lighter and happier I felt after doing that. Looking at fear and spitting in its face, walking right through it. It was about my integrity and truth within myself that I needed to honor. By doing that, everything took on a whole new tone. I will be leaving my position in June and will be moving out of state. I look forward to all that is about to unfold and expand. I know I may experience some momentary hesitation here and there, but the journey will continue and I will proceed forward because I am dearly loved, safe and protected. I am on the path of my destiny. I’ve been preparing for this all my life. I’m so excited for you. Much love, Dawn

    • thank you dawn!! and i absolutely LOVE your story! i’m glad you’re okay from your fall, but your story reminds me so much of my own when i’ve left 2 of my office jobs. one where they kept offering me different promotions and when i said no, them thinking they should offer more, but my saying it wasn’t right for them to pay for training, when i had no ambition to continue. and the last one where i had my only car accident to get my attention so that i’d quit altogether and never return – the story you also saw that i wrote. i so honor you supporting yourself in the power and integrity of your truth despite how that may look to others. what amazing change awaits you! we are definitely always protected and safe especially so when we are listening to our heart and soul guidance that is connected to source. where will you be moving? love and hugs to you!!

      • Oh thank you Tania for sharing even more details of what transpired for you. Isn’t it great! Also thank you for the affirmation and supported thoughts. I’ll be heading to the Flagstaff/Sedona area. I visited there last month and it felt so great. I also have a number of friends there as well. So looking forward to the adventure of allowing things to unfold in regards to my intentions. Ps. I be heard good things about the galaxy. Yay for you for going for it and the representation as a metaphor for your life changes. Oxox. Dawn

  2. you’re welcome!! you and i have much synchronicity with many things 🙂 that’s awesome on going to flagstaff/sedona. another synchronicity, as i lived in sedona for a couple of years, actually 17 years ago to the day today! LOL!! i just realized that. it’s been 17 years since i moved there with my parents. magickal area and having you there will be a good reason to visit again. i visit now and then when called and had been potentially feeling something coming there in the near future again. yay!! thanks for the good words on the galaxy too! love you

    • Yes we do have much synchronicity. I remember after I had finished Reiki Classes with Laura she had mentioned you to me, gave me a link to your website/blog. She thought we had allot in common. At the time, I didn’t reach out. But I’m so glad we connected. Well you will have to let me know when you are coming out, and we can meet up. At this point don’t know where I will be but I know it will be exactly where is best for me. You will always be welcome. oxox Dawn

      • yes, i’m so glad too and as always it is the perfect timing, right? 😉 i will definitely keep you posted when i return there. will be fun to see where you land – for now 🙂 thank you for your open heart and for your presence in my life. xoox!!

  1. Pingback: Release, Reclaim, Renew – A Recap of Our Expansive Reiki Renewal Retreat in Laguna Beach | Tania Marie's Blog

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