The Fear Of Missing Out – An Illusion That Can Set You Back When You Try To Do It All
This is a great article (below) that came to me by my friend, Hillary. I see this all the time with people – friends and clients alike, and more so recently. There’s this overwhelming “need” to do everything. Then they spread themselves out so much that they either get burned out, frustrated and stressed, or never really move forward in any big way with something they want.
Having exuberance toward things you want to create is a wonderful and propelling thing, however the excitement to “grasp” at it all can actually be counterproductive and lead you down some inefficient and sometimes sticky paths that may actually hold you back from what you wanted to create in the first place.
I have experienced this at different times in my life, in different ways. When I was much younger it was in the form of knowing intuitively that I really wanted to do “A”, but when all these invites from friends and different events showed up, I then was confused by this feeling of missing out and did “B”. However, when I disregarded my natural instinct to just take care of myself and be on my own, or do something more truly aligned with me in simple ways and instead sort of reluctantly, yet convincingly went ahead with the so-called “exciting” things I felt I was just holding myself back from if I didn’t go to, the same thing ALWAYS happened.
I ended up disappointed, frustrated, or resentful, and felt I had wasted my time and energy for a moment’s indulgence that left me feeling empty. The only value in it was about teaching me to listen better to myself and make more mirroring choices.
That said, of course there’s no right or wrong in our choices, but I do feel we can make more aligned ones that support our truth and well being, if we truly listen within.
The same has happened over recent years, where I saw that excitement take hold, but in the form of things more in line with who I am now, whenever I would manifest possibilities. I found myself saying yes to too many things and dispersing my energy and resources, getting myself involved in challenges my intuition knew better not to, and creating a more meandering path than direct. Things were showing up a lot and they all were within my realm of things I valued, but not all were necessary to be doing.
Again, no right or wrong, and in the end all things eventually can lead us to the exact experiences of growth that we need, just in more or less direct ways. However I now say “no” to a lot of things. Things that others may think to be awesome opportunities, but for me, I simply know there’s more to come and better aligned, or a better use of my time, energy, and resources right now.
And indeed that’s what I’ve experienced. I’ve learned to understand and listen to the things of most value, and my heart truly knows what those are. Not my head. Especially not, if there’s confusion around in any form. My mind is better used to help in asking the questions and assist with the discerning process, but my heart will be the guiding light.
Learning to say “no” wholeheartedly, is as important as knowing when to say “yes” wholeheartedly.
But possibilities are just what they are. Possibilities….Just because things come at you when you are working on manifesting things and you are starting to be more aligned with yourself, doesn’t mean that everything that comes to you is meant to be embraced and pursued. Sometimes it’s just a sign to you that your manifesting abilities are amping up and working, but discernment will lead you to the more supportive choices. Your intuition will guide you. If you don’t have that gut feeling right away, take the time to explore and ask questions about the possibility presenting itself, to weed out anything hidden, and to also weigh it against your goals, how much you have going on right now, is it a direct or round about way to get there, will it take away energy or resources from something else that is more important right now to focus on? etc…..
And guess what? There’s always something more and better on the way. We have the tendency to think this IS IT! We live in a limitless Universe. I guarantee you this is not ALL that there is. And that’s where trust comes in and your courage to harness your creative potentials to continually manifest in unlimited ways. Take the stuff that comes along, as sign posts to gauge the process you are training yourself in every day. Yet, keep on driving through to the next destination, as it does continue to get better. And in the meantime, you will nurture yourself in important ways, by keeping balanced, attending to your needs on all levels, keep focused, and enjoying life more and create more.
No, you don’t have to go to every event there is, even if it is aligned with who you are. Nor, say yes to every friend invite. And no, you don’t have to take every opportunity, nor read every book, or go to every seminar….Taking the present moment to be present and find the gratitude, joy, and value in everything – not just what you think you should value or that others are doing and say is of value – is when you really start to live fully. Fully living isn’t having to experience it all. It’s knowing you are fully living right here and now if it’s with all of your heart.
Here’s the article by Catherine Chen, Ph.D.: