Remembering a Courageous Soul & Messages of Faith on the Eternal Journey

gaia and me

Tiny Gaia when she first entered my life

The moment you want to give up is when you need to dig as deep as you can to keep believing even more, as you’re so close to breaking through the veils and into the light of your heart.

It’s one of those time cycles where I feel a stronger pull to my cosmic origins, and needing to remind myself of balancing and grounding in order to fully be present in this current Earthly experience. And while feeling these pulls elsewhere, it’s no wonder I’ve also been sharing reverence for my beloved Russian Tortoise, Gaia, whom has been away on mission since the end of April.

She, along with my beautiful, physically departed Nestor, have been heavily on my mind. And I know that they are both cosmic pilgrims engaged in their soul essence journeys of the heart.

gaia outsideI know many of you have followed along with their stories, in particular Gaia’s of recent, and may remember she had for the first time hibernated for a short period this winter, returning auspiciously before the end of Winter, but right at the perfectly timed moment in my life. And then, not long after she had returned, she then disappeared again and has been gone since the end of April, now approaching 5 months and oddly during the dead of a very hot Summer here.


Gaia checking out my painting Air, as I worked on it in my solarium

I haven’t recently had the sense she is returning, but if she in fact at some point still does, it will be her most surprising and magickal feat to date, which would bring a huge smile to my usually unsurprised self. In the meantime, I have been supporting her energetically in the work she had been called away to do, knowing she is always with me in heart.

But it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve felt the need to honor her more appropriately, especially if she has chosen to move beyond this Earthly realm like Nestor. That’s what it feels like in my heart, and perhaps her original idea of returning has shifted due to my own shifts.

Having gone through what will always be the most heart-wrenching experience of physically losing Nestor in the most dramatic/traumatic of ways at a very challenging soul leap time in my life that nearly took my own breath away, I have gone through the worst and so am able and prepared to handle physical loss, or anything for that matter, with an unconditionally, unattached love and deep honor. Perhaps Gaia chose this way, as mirror to the place I have arrived with this – with no need for closure to the eternal, nor need to physically see and experience that transition from life to afterlife. I am aware that transitions from one dimensional experience to another can be gently chosen, just as much as harshly chosen, depending on what we need to learn and what our attached beliefs are.

gaia in amethyst

Gaia exploring inside my Amethyst – found her sleeping here several times

I’ve also found it interesting, since both Gaia and Nestor were always not really “all here” when they were, that as such expansively powerful, cosmic beings that they chose these tiny bodies to manifest as. And yet their power was evident, not only in the strength those little bodies physically exhibited, but in their presence and the magickal things they would do each day while with me.

I know part of the reason they came in those bodies, was so that we could be together as we were, and yet as much joy as they brought me in this life, it gives me greater joy to know that they are no longer confined by those bodies in any way and can be the freedom seekers of the Cosmos that they are. Afterall, they spent very little of their time in those bodies, even when they WERE with me, as they were constantly traveling and doing work inter-dimensionally. They remind me of myself and it’s no wonder we have been together across times.


Gaia and Chuck

Gaia was such a mentor for Joy and the two of them were best friends. Gaia also had the opportunity to connect with Chuck, while he was still alive, and was an avid companion of the ethereal Nestor (also a friend of Chuck’s).

crystalsI found it interesting that on my desk, where I have some of my crystals that support me daily, that the stone statues of Hematite (Nestor) and Rhodonite (Gaia) that I have carried with me on many of my global sacred journeys to have their energy symbolically and physically present where I was doing spiritual work, have always been next to each other on my desk. And the larger Serpentine stone statue of Joy, who is a bit more Earth-bound than they are, (although truly is the embodiment of a bridge between worlds, is a channeler and Crystal worker), is separate, yet connected by the large Cosmic Crystal between them.

And, both Nestor and Gaia are now physically gone, leaving Joy and I together here on this Earth plane.

jj and gaia

Best buddies, Joy and Gaia

Joy is my ever-faithful companion who alerts me to all energetic nuances and presides over our shared domain, as a guardian of the sacred. But over time, even Joy’s presence has shifted, as she used to physically take part in any workshops I taught from home, and now her presence although felt, is no longer there – choosing to remain in my office to support from afar.

Little by little with their support and teaching experiences through them, and as I have shifted into my own empowerment, accessing the connections and communications beyond space and time in a more tangible way, and have released attachments, they have all been able to move into different roles in my life and into their trueness.

The more these transcendent shifts anchor, the more I receive inklings of where my own soul direction is leading and the timeliness of that.

gaia house

Gaia inside her house

It’s all a beautiful journey and I’ve been reflecting on all of this, as thoughts and memories of Gaia have been flooding me recently. It’s brought some bitter sweet tears and yet joyous ones in celebration of her eternal expansiveness.

And I felt it time to make a memorial of sorts in her honor, regardless if she did in fact one day, out of the amazing blue, return. I want her to know how much I am eternally grateful for all that she is, and all that she has been and will continue to be in my life. Like all of these precious and astounding souls, she has taught me so much and she has saved my life more than once.

gaia house

Gaia’s sanctuary under the Plumeria

I have decided to keep her home outside where it has been, as a memorial for her, and also to mark the area I believe she entered Earth’s core through. As it is there I discovered her last time when she returned. If she does in fact miraculously return, then she will have her home to welcome her. Although I hope if she does, that I will still be here to welcome her. This is part of why I am not feeling her returning. I trust, as always, that she’s tuned into my messages, even though they have a bit of a time lapse where she is. We’ve never not been in sync, so there’s that. 🙂


Plumeria above Gaia’s house

Interestingly, not too long ago, this area where her house sits that has two Plumeria and one large succulent bush, had completely shifted. The large succulent bush had uprooted itself one night and as it did, had taken down the two Plumeria. I had always reflected on this as a sign of the work she was doing below ground, as well as a mirror of impending change that was to take place and the uprooting in my own life.

Since, the bushes have been replanted and supported, with hopes they would survive, and have. So much so, that the Plumeria are now in full bloom – I just was checking them out this morning when I took these photographs – and I love that they surround Gaia’s house with their fragant beauty.plumeria

The perfect reflection of the joy and grace she brought to my life, this time around, when I was most in need.


Plumeria symbolism includes natural beauty, charm, grace, new life, new beginnings, creation and recreation, the Sun, perfection of all things as is, dedication, devotion, love, immortality, healing powers, liveliness, life, and birth.

plumeria5I believe these are perfect messages for where ever the new journey ahead may lead. And however that is to take form, I can only trust in the faith and belief that I will have the same kind of courage these amazing souls have graced my life with.

star jasmine

Three courageous Star Jasmine

I also found three Star Jasmine this morning that had blossomed “out of season”. Jasmine flowers symbolize many things to many different cultures, including love, romance, sensuality, amiability, nobility, grace, and elegance, but more importantly, they hold strong spiritual significance, as a constant symbol of divinity and hope.

These three Jasmine felt like magickal reminders of these three dear and immeasurable souls in my life, as well as embody, to me, the powerful will of the courageous soul that doesn’t accept the boundaries others choose to believe in and is capable of blossoming in the darkness.

About Tania Marie's Blog

Creating life as a work of art with a magick rabbit by my side. I remember my song. Do you? Artist, Author and Reiki Master Teacher with over 25 years' experience in creative healing arts and metaphysical studies. Tania inspires people globally to return to natural harmony, draw forth imagination to manifest dreams, embody creative empowerment, and live more magickally and abundantly from their most natural frequency – in essence, Tania helps you to remember your song.

Posted on September 16, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

  1. This post brought tears to my eyes and abundant joy to my heart. It’s so interesting that Gaia popped into my head and heart this past week. I had wondered how she was and what she was up to. Your beautiful honoring of her being and presence as well as the impact she had on your life and continues to have is a lovely relationship of true love and trust between you both. I understand the bittersweet. Big hugs. I also understand the joy and gratitude for what was and is. Huggies. Big huggies and honor to you both dawn

    • so, so appreciate your love, hugs, and shared connection. very interesting that gaia came to you as well recently. i’m so grateful to share this experience with you…someone whom i know really understands and appreciates the journey. hugging you right back with love filled huggies!!! love you ❤

  2. Reblogged this on Laura Bruno's Blog and commented:
    A sweet, tender memorial of Tania Marie’s precious Gaia, whom I’ve also had the honor to know and love. I still remember tortoise sitting one time, and Gaia disappeared, only to be found hiding in all the computer wires! I know she’s been doing very important work underground, but Gaia has always been so cosmic. As Tania shares, she wasn’t always “here” even when she was here. Well, wherever you are, sweet Gaia, thank you for all the love you’ve shown this Earth and those who’ve known and loved you.

  3. Aw, tears in my eyes, too. What a character! I had forgotten about the implications for Gaia is you and Dave move or even just travel very extensively. Lots of love and thank you for sharing this fitting memorial. ❤

    • yes, there’s no one quite like miss gaia…most people would have thought she’d outlive me, as tortoises do, but we know i don’t have any sort of “normal” beings in my life…reflective of moi perhaps? lol. i miss looking in her sweet, ancient, cosmic eyes and yet i know she will continue to show up in my dreams with messages, since i’m so telepathically connected to all three of these “queens” 😉 thank you for all the love and support you’ve provided us and for being the best auntie ever to them all. interesting that you’ve physically connected with each of them except nestor in this life as well. but nestie was constantly with you anyway. it’s me an joy now anchoring things here on earth while the nestie and gaia do their stuff. ❤

  4. Reblogged this on Reiki Dawn and commented:
    Must share this special tribute and memorial from Tania Marie. The shared and continue to share an extraordinary bond and love. I so honor, support and love each of them and with their journeys. It’s hard not to be moved by such a relationship. Love to all. Dawn

  5. Animal companion, teacher, familiar…Gaia was so special! And fortunate to have been known by you. She will always hold a sacred space in your heart. Sending you love ❤

  6. Beautiful tribute to Gaia, and what a beautiful connection you two had. I am laughing because just this past weekend I went kayaking on a beautiful lake in the mountains, and at one point I saw eight (8!) gorgeous turtles sunbathing on a giant tree branch in the lake. We had a nice talk and lots of smiles. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story and connection with us, Tania. ❤

    • thank you amanda. yes, she is a special one. i have a very powerful connection with these souls in animal companion bodies. 🙂 how amazing you got to see 8 turtles on you kayaking adventure. so sweet!! and another synchronicity with my post and feelings this week on gaia. much love to you ❤

  7. Such beautiful expressions of love and honoring, Sweet Tania! I too rejoice Gaia and all your unique and beautifully-expressive companions, including Nestor and Joy. From the eagle view, I too see the symmetry and harmony in all that is, knowing that they are all providing amazing service to all-that-is from wherever they are and in whatever form they assume at any given time. Still, my heart breaks a bit even as I celebrate life’s transitions. Happy tears and tears of loss, sometimes they co-mingle and dance on my cheeks, and that’s just the path-of-the-heart. Thank you, Tania, for BEing such a wild and courageous heart, so willing to be seen, so willing to share your love and wisdom with us all.

    • i so appreciate this denise. thank you for your insights, understanding, compassion, and vision. i do know what you mean about the cleansing tears that are a blend of celebration and nostalgia. it’s part of our humanness. i love you dearly ❤

  8. So much Love! Thank you for sharing more about beloved Gaia. I might have told you this before, but after I named my farm/garden “Eos”, the entity that is this land came to me in the dreamstate. My Earth-Sister Eos expressed herself to me as a vast (much larger than just the farm), ancient and wise Turtle with a shell made of Amethyst.

    • thank you jayn!! yes, i remember this awesome story of yours. i enjoy hearing about it again and its beautiful connection with gaia. gaia was once a very huge turtle back in atlantis like this size of your earth sister eos showing herself as.<3

  9. I am catching up on posts I missed while sick which is the reason for my delayed comment but I just wanted to say what gentle tenderness and charity I felt from this post. What a gift. Thank you Tania, Nestor, Gaia and Joy . . . Love Suzanne

  1. Pingback: Remembering, Honoring & Celebrating a Dear Soul – Cliff Durfee | Tania Marie's Blog

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