Merry-Go-Rounds & Free Agents
So many things are and have been coming to closure for me in natural ways. Some of that has been very interesting to experience the feelings around. Perhaps some of you may also relate with this.
For instance, it’s been a very interesting paradox to have both an aversion and affinity to something simultaneously…which basically is this synchronized experience of duality and Yin/Yang that has merged into just being without justification needed.
I find that this speaks to a soul journey that has not only come full circle, but has ridden up and down the pole of the circling experience enough times to actualize and embody true realization of this, and realizes where that affinity stems from, but also recognizes and embraces a putting-to-rest is now in order, to be able to birth forth something new from this union.
Once the journey has come round enough times to click into full activated conscious and living awareness, it is ready to spiral forth into new realms.
It feels like a merry-go-round and interestingly I’ve been fascinated with this one merry-go-round at a local outdoor mall here where we go for vegan sushi sometimes. I love it because it has all kinds of animals on it, but in particular one special, magick bunny that I am drawn to of course.
It feels like this bunny is alive and speaks to me each time I see it….waking me to a deeper sense of myself and a new journey awaiting.
The merry-go-round brings up different layers of thought and symbolism that are also on a different spectrum of the scale.
It brings me back to the child within and engages my imaginary spark. And that’s no wonder, as they do in fact symbolize more simple fun and childish joy, which are messages to us to bring these experiences more into our lives on a daily basis and throughout everything we do.
It also reminds me about how fascinated we can be with the same ol’ thing when stimulated by a lot of sparkly things, have the illusion of actually having things change because of the “spin” we are on, and yet don’t realize that we might not actually be changing our life so much, and in fact are reliving the same stuff, different story and clothing, as we always have or have for a very long time. Spinning around can be almost like a “drug” or a euphoric-producing experience that keeps us “medicated” and numb or distracted to what’s before us and perhaps even unable to see the forest for the trees.
Perhaps the merry-go-round is providing us a window of opportunity to help shift our perspectives, rather than have our perspectives jumbled into illusion, until we realize we can get on a different ride now that we know all the ups and downs, ins and outs of this one particular one that although journeys all around, remains on the same axis.
All About Heaven shares this about merry-go-round symbolism:
“A wonderfully complex symbolic object. The carousel in the fairground, occasionally known as a merry-go-round, first of all captures the symbolism of the means of transport [the means of ecstatic flight]. Horses feature prominently on the ride, but there are often other animals and birds – crows, geese, swans and so on.
The ride goes round and round in concentric circles. Moving rings and spheres – with a centrally lit pillar, – celestial pole – usually beautifully lit, which is symbolic of the power from which the wheel of life is driven – God and the Intelligences. Thus we have the symbolism of the Egg and Levels and Layers built into the ride.
Added to this is the pole which each animal has – also a celestial pole, which makes it go up and down – ascension and descent.”
Anyway, there is simply a lot of realizations that I’m not just feeling, which are becoming actualized in experience, thrown in with the occasional blaring messages.
Like this past Saturday at the last performance of the symphony’s season this year. This year has been the 25th-year celebration of the Pacific Symphony’s Music Director and at the show he and the head of the Board of Director’s were giving a talk in which it was shared that the actual day of celebration when both came to the Pacific Symphony was February 26th, 1990.
How synchronous is that, that 2/26 is my birthday and I was just finishing out my senior year in ’90/91 of high school before heading out to explore life.
Being that we’ve had season tickets this year to the symphony’s celebration and here I am having a major transformation and renewal since my birthday this year on 2/26 while in Iceland and beginning a 9-year, and they announce this date that speaks directly to me (of all days they could have mentioned)…I did in fact feel another message of closure, full circle, and something new birthing that was being reiterated to me in a very BIG way.
Not to mention I keep seeing the number 226 a lot, again, and 2:26 on the clock, which also seems to be telling of a rebirthing taking place in my life since it indicates my birthday, and also brings to mind this symbolism of a reset button being hit that keeps coming to me as my now experience.
Plus, I really love this particular music director/conductor….I LOVE his passion, his exuberant joy, his expressiveness, the way he loves from his heart what he does and helps to inspire others with the same kind of passion, and how he truly LOVES, appreciates, and encourages everyone he works with. You can feel it in every bone of his body that he IS the music.
And it’s that kind of passionate living…the fragrant romance of flesh meets etheric in an enraptured dance that calls to my soul in a new way that has yet to be experienced. The kind that is birthed purely from a personal creative spark of passion and is born of the very air you need to breathe.
The question that used to be and that I hear a lot of from everyone in search of what’s next is, “How can I be of service?” A question that searched for something outside of ourselves to which we then have tried to mold our gifts into fitting.
And now the new questions to ask may be more like:
“What breathes life into me?”
“What do I love above all else and makes the Earth move within me when I am engaged in channeling it?”
“What can I not live without being/doing?
“What is the thing that brings me the greatest joy when I’m engaged in it?”
“What has been longing to birth forth from within me as the expression of my passionate romance with life and the reason for my very being here?”
Notice the focus is on what YOU want, rather than what is wanted of/from you. This is not selfish and ultimately when you connect with what truly moves you it is simultaneously your collective service, as you are giving forth from your wholeness and joy and is the very essence of who you are and what you came forth to share with the world.
So when you answer these questions from your heart and begin to support that thing/or things into embodiment and expression, you will naturally be of service and not “trying” to be some idea of service that fits an accepted definition, what you see others doing, or even is repeating patterns you’ve been doing over and over from past lives like clock-work without awareness or thoughtful choice.
It’s time to awaken to who you are NOW, taking into account all of where you’ve been, but realizing you are free to choose and create something new. After all, you are an infinitely creative being, so I guarantee you there isn’t just one or even 10 ways you can do things.
Find YOUR way, that moves you most and you will see how much the collective has been awaiting your gifts as they respond to your channeled joy both in embrace and in mirror of their own wholeness and authenticity they will feel more ready to move into.
So, like the rabbit on the merry-go-round I see that doesn’t feel like she belongs there because she has a different aliveness and spark in her eyes than the rest of the animals on the merry-go-round, I am taking her message, integrating her realization, and getting off the repetitive, spinning pattern of experience. I do not want to feel like I’m alive inside a body that is immobile, set on a course that has no freshness and is one that directs me even if just subtly from ages of appeasing repetition.
Just because someone does something that appears to be, by some definition, creatively different, of service, and done successfully….doesn’t mean they aren’t potentially on their own merry-go-round.
This is the precipice of where I stand, as I jump off into a new cycle in my own life…getting off the merry-go-round and becoming my own cosmic free-agent who’s ready for a very different ride of my life.
How about you?