Rewriting A New Ending ~ Deepening a New Beginning
Dream posts continue, as this was another meaningful dream I felt compelled to share now that I’ve had time with it for myself. The day after my dream I posted yesterday about the two blue snakes and gila monster, as you might recall was the day “The Tree Beckoned and I Followed.” Well, after that experience in finding the presence of orbs all around me inside the tree portal (appearing like I’d stepped inside the Cosmos) that night I had another potent and healing dream that brought full circle a gift from my beloved rabbit, Joy, who has also been showing up so profoundly lately.
Synchronously, this was also the night of the marches collectively taking place.
Since many of you so sweetly sent messages and love about Joy when she transitioned and have followed along with my bunny love’s journeys, I thought this might be not only conclusive as a companion piece to my share about Joy’s last moments and days on Earth in the physical I wrote and spoke about extensively in this post “In Life & Death, “Joy” Is Always There,” but may also be supportive to others who have experienced loss of their beloved animal companions and loved ones in demonstrating the eternal connection that does not end and how we are continually being supported by the connection shared.
In my dream on Saturday 1/21, Joy was with me and she had taken ill, just like in the end before she left in waking life. The odd thing was that her tail came off in the dream and it was very large – much larger than normal size. It literally broke off on its own, but perfectly. I could see all of the tiny bones and ligaments that connect it to her bum, but where it broke off was so clean and precise, without blood or any signs of injury. This indicates to me a sense of no suffering being experienced on her “end” and a clean “ending” and healing closure at the “tail end” of this experience. The tail being so large and furry feels to be definitive in this closure and the “end of an era” again reiterated for me, balance being restored, and that I’m using intuition, creativity, and wisdom in my life more than ever and this will be increasing.
Although rabbit’s feet are connected to “lucky charms,” the tail may also be considered as such since there is connection with rabbit’s tails as their way of escaping predators with the white flash of the tail confusing them as to their exact location when in pursuit.
I also feel this symbolism she showed me is directly connected to my book, but that’s for me to understand the connection, although I will say that direct healing is involved on many levels with its unfolding.
But back to the dream….
I then notice her feet, especially the left one, and they look exactly like Fiver’s – the mouse that I nurtured recently.
These mouse feet were only on her back legs, just like Fiver’s back legs were the only part of him that showed signs of his injury from the impact to that area and lower back.
That left leg on her was completely limp, red, bruised. I remember one spot on Fiver’s leg had a bruised, red area, so again tied in with him.
Then in the dream she comes and lays on me, as I comfort her and caress her.
In the dream I start calling around to vets to get her in (just as I did in waking life when she took ill), but I get the sense she won’t make it in time to get there. In real life, she had just made it to the ER after a long over an hour’s drive and then passed not long after I left her in the doctor’s care to monitor over night, at her request.
So, now in the dream I am aware she won’t make it and I will just be with her to help her transition peacefully, just like I was there for Fiver.
She is in my arms and then suddenly she lets out a little cry, followed by one last big breath and I know she is leaving her body with that.
Nestor had let out a piercing, excruciating cry when she left this Earth, but this was different….it was soft and although rabbit’s only cry when in pain, it was an indication of release rather than suffering to me and not as tormenting to experience as Nestor’s was.
(BTW, this is how she actually transitioned when I left her at the ER, as the doctor shared this with me when she called to tell me that she let out a soft cry and took a big breath and went.)
I then rub her head softly, as she lays in my arms and tell her over and over that I love her, wanting that to be the last thing she hears before she completely goes and slowly her heart and breathing wind down to nothing.
I’m sobbing in the dream and at this point can feel my half wake state in real life and know and can hear me wimpering in real life too.
Although emotional, it was a gentle experience and was not at all a dream, but completely a reality she and I were sharing for a purpose and rewriting the end together.
I felt that she was connecting me to understand a deeper healing than I may have been aware of that I had through Fiver.
Perhaps wanting me to know she had projected a part of herself in Fiver when he had come to me, or that he had been sent to me by her, as a way for me to experience this healing with him through her.
This may include being there with her at the very end when she transitioned, since I was not when she passed, as I had left her at the ER by her choice in not wanting me to have to go through that experience.
Although I knew she wanted that and maybe thought I was not ready yet for this, I felt like I wished I’d been there. Maybe her seeing how I handled Cosmo’ passing, made her now know I was ready and she gifted me this experience in “dream” time and with Fiver, so I could relive being there with her.
And she gifted it in a gentle, beautiful way.
Even the way that Fiver jumped on the crystal when he transitioned, like blasting off into the Cosmos, could have been a sign of connection with her since Joy was so connected to crystals herself and always layed with them and had their points jutting into her body to receive their energy, working with gridding our homes and journeying with them.
This dream, as they all are to me, was very “real time”. And I did feel this sense of deepening closure and peace knowing I supported her this way and that I was strong enough now to keep going through these kinds of experiences in supporting these sweet souls in their transitions.
And afterall, Joy is a cosmic traveler, shape shifter, and portal journeyer. You might recall that she and Nestor showed up in Glacier National Park as the two cosmic deer on the day I spread their ashes, from this post: Spreading Ashes, Spreading Joy ~ Cosmic Encounters & Sacred Connections
So connecting with Fiver is not far from reach for her either. 😉 And creating timeline jumps for us to relive/recreate what “is” would be right up her alley too. I love how she changed the “ending” and that I could be with her.
Quick side note and speaking of Nestor, the day after that dream we headed down the stairs from our place and the crew was there shoveling the snow as they do and one guy says to the other to alert him we were coming up behind him since he was busy shoveling and didn’t see us, “Watch out Nestor.” I smiled so big knowing my sweet Nestor was wanting to chime in too with reiteration to the dream connections.
And to add to the timings and synchronicity, another tie-in with Joy took place just a couple of days before my dream of her. I received a voicemail message from the doctor in Jackson, Wyoming who did her surgery. The story line of this is included in the above post on her transition.
He was such an angel, who came in on his day off to do this, talked to me on the phone, provided me his personal number and went above and beyond in helping her/me.
A little rewind…..about a month or a few weeks after Joy passed I’d sent him a plant with a nice thank you note just wanting to acknowledge how grateful I was for everything that he’d done for us. He even called me the night she transitioned after talking with the ER doctor that night (late I might add) to give her background right before she passed.
I actually never heard from him after I sent the thank you gift, so I wasn’t sure if he got it, but figured that our crossing of paths was complete.
Then 6 months later he calls and in his message says he just wanted to say hello, was thinking of me, thanked me for the nice plant and thoughtful card…and told me whenever I had time to give him a call to talk because he had felt such a good vibe from me and really connected with me, so he wanted to see how I was.
I was so touched and it felt like Joy’s way of starting to get the ball rolling with her plan of recreating the “end”.
And then back to the day at the tree portal, right before that night’s dream, I now was able to connect the dots and that this portal was activating the opening to this experience Joy was setting up for me to rewrite “history” and I feel that larger orb above me was her.
What an experience and how gracious and loving Joy is to gift me this one thing I had wished.
There are no limitations to our connections, eternal love and bonds, and what is possible.
I feel a greater lightness and deepening of my love with her and my loves, and gratitude for her gifts in knowing what would be perfect for my journey and moving forward with my work.