Mystery, Majesty & Merging ~ Immersing in the Magick of Grand Canyon
There are so many directions I could take this share, given the layers of experience that unraveled in Grand Canyon National Park this last week – mirroring the multi-layers of rock found there “that serve as windows into time.” Rather than orchestrate my direction, I’m going to allow an organic channeling to flow of insights, experiences, and connections, in whatever way they want to come through. Perhaps more will be felt via the energy in the photos shared. Either way, as usual, it’s impossible to really explain in words what is felt and to encapsulate what is so expansive and complex. And so, some mystery will be left to explore within yourself while I reserve some of those sands of time for divine unwrapping. Besides, I am very anxious to get back to completing my book, especially so now with the new integrated energy and Spring opening her gateway.
We were away for nearly 11 days, beginning our trip with Tucson explorations and lovely family time, continuing the adventure deep within the Grand Canyon, and rounding things out with integrative contrast and fun in Las Vegas. I considered these travels a birthday celebration, as I’d just celebrated mine about a week prior to our disembarking.
As shared, this was reiterated and deepened in meaning when I discovered my 45th birthday of 2/26 was shared with Grand Canyon’s 99th birthday as a National Park. The plot thickens. 🙂
I’d also only recently become aware of the hidden and highly covered up potential of Egyptian temples and Tibetan connections within the GC that no one seems to want to acknowledge – no surprise there since it would mean acknowledging science and history were all wrong in so many ways, not to mention, open up more gateways to knowledge that could shift and awaken so much. I knew this would only be an introduction to the GC, but I had a feeling I’d receive my own confirmations of this while there, which would set up future explorations.
Our travels had us in Tucson, Arizona 3/7 – 3/10, leaving early that morning to venture north to the Grand Canyon to meet our friends. Tucson prepped us with beautiful hikes, good vegan food, rest, and family connecting – all perfect for the adventure ahead. On the way north we stopped for a brunch in Phoenix at a wonderful vegan cafe – Nami – where we enjoyed a hearty meal and picked up a box of vegan donuts, pastry, and cupcakes to share with our friends for dessert and breakfast – our last fun, city food before hitting nature fully. We passed Sedona as well, where I caught a glimpse of the red rock there while we headed up the highway. That also felt like an energetic grid light-up, like every little piece was part of a puzzle coming together.
We arrived fairly early on the 10th – around 2:30 pm – giving us plenty of time to prep, go through our equipment, have our friends help us pack our backpacks, enjoy a great vegan pizza and salad bar meal, indulge in vegan goodies we brought, relax in the jacuzzi, and get a good night’s sleep before our 3/11 trek! It started to rain this day and rained through the night, feeling so perfect as a cleansing and clearing, to give us a fresh start. A potential for full on rain and some rain was there for the first couple of days of our adventure, but this didn’t end up happening. There was no way of knowing for sure what weather we’d have for our hiking, as it changes moment to moment, but we were prepared for anything and in the end it was absolutely perfect! Faery powers activate!
We were in the GC 3/11 – 3/14.
I found it interesting that during this whole trip there were some cool alignments and celebrations happening that really made it all even more impactful and synchronously symbolic.
While in Tucson on the 9th I celebrated the anniversary of officially adopting Cosmo in 2015 (although he came home to us in January of that year). That day I also found a small sparkly quartz stone that was shaped like a rabbit’s ear, mirroring his lovely ones that were always illuminated in energy. I also saw several cottontails that greeted me each day. And coyote medicine made an appearance as well.
While in the Grand Canyon I celebrated my 17 year anniversary of my legal name change to Tania Marie, which was on the 12th (our second day of trekking and arrival to the Colorado River. On this day I’d felt renewed, especially after the previous night’s experience I’ll share later. This felt very potent not only sharing my birthday with the GC, but now having my true birthing into who I am taking place while within her womb.
There was also the time change on 3/11 – the day we hit the GC trail – that didn’t affect us in Arizona since they don’t change time, but was universally a leap ahead an hour, mirroring my leap into this adventure.
We road-tripped it to Las Vegas 3/15 – 3/17 and then returned home to Lake Tahoe on St. Patrick’s Day which also happened to be a New Moon in Pisces – my sign – and again feeling like a rebirthing that indeed took place. We ended up arriving home to several feet of fresh snow from another snow storm, giving us the most snow we’ve had all season. This mirroring the purity of energy in the snow storm we got to enjoy as a send-off to our trip, now greeting us upon return and creating a fresh start.
Perfect timing with Spring Equinox today, adding to the spark of new and renewal.
That’s a brief overview of timing and alignments, and now onto more of the GC.
Rewind to several months ago when KC – aka Bean and Clint – aka Happy – were visiting in Lake Tahoe for the Summer. You likely remember that I’d fractured my right foot on September 10th of last year, during an epic 13 mile hike to Star Lake. It took 2 months to heal with some integration back, so in November I was slowly starting to get out hiking again to strengthen that foot. It was also right before they left back to Arizona that they put out the idea of our doing a trek with them in the Grand Canyon, so that they could share their favorite place, besides Lake Tahoe, with us and our other two Tahoe friends, Sharon and Paul.
I was the first to say an immediate “yes” to it and I held strong to that conviction the last 3 and a half months or so, which materialized now. Dave wasn’t sure if he’d be able to with work and wasn’t able to get excited because he had a lot going on at the time to think about it, but I kept intending and Dave ended up being able to and got just as much on board. I spent the last few months prepping my feet for what I knew would be the most demanding of hikes I’ve done, and even though I also had a deep cut to the back of my ankle that took place in early February that was still healing, I knew I’d not be deterred and continued saying “yes.”
I know many were concerned for me, my feet, and thought there’d be a “story” from this adventure too, since I tend to be more fishy as a Pisces (with fins rather than feet) and can have some strong symbolism manifest in my feet that align with big shifts in my life, but I’m happy to report none of that took place and in fact, my shifting into my Capricorn North Node – or Cappy as I like to call it – seems to be boldly in effect.
It also was no coincidence that our sweet friends and GC experts (who have been hiking there nearly 15 years) are a Capricorn and Cancer, respectively. This merging beautifully with my Capricorn North Node, Rising and Mars, as well as my Cancer South Node, and with Dave’s Cancer North Node, Rising, and Capricorn South Node. We were like puzzle pieces to each other and further even, as I later discovered more astrological links between us in researching their charts with my brother for them.
And I have to say that the earthing done in such a power place as the GC, with so much linked “history” and resonance with my higher self, as well as rich in layers of Cappy energy, was healing and integrating in ways that created leaps within.
It seems that all the times as a child and the couple of visits in recent few years to the rim of the GC were prepping me for this full immersion that divinely aligned with knowing Bean and Happy, which although we’ve been friends on Facebook for 5-6 years, only manifested in the flesh this last summer. I couldn’t imagine going into the Grand Canyon with anyone else, as not only are they such seers and feelers of her mystery and beauty, but are back packing experts and incredible trail guides, which was exactly what this Pisces with Cappy North Node in training needed!
That leads us into a little overview of the rim-to-river-and-back trekking we did before further explorations for all you technical peeps and to add some perspective to the overall experience and challenge. I may not get all the terms down properly, as I’m going off memory, but I’m sure Bean can chime in in the comments, if I have something off.
We started at about 6800 elevation, which was at the rim, and descended to about 2200 elevation, which was the Colorado River’s base. However, with the ascending and descending that takes place throughout, we did about 5000 total elevation gain with our hiking (the most previously to date I’d done was 3300 in Montana without a backpack). The guys totaled 30 miles and us faeries totaled 32 miles, as we did a lot of little mini expeditions into faery lands and to treasure hunt.
This doesn’t sound like much over the course of 4 days, however, backpacking increases the intensity and challenge of regular hiking about 2-3 times. We likened it to snow shoeing and how that also increases the time and intensity of hiking at about the same level.
I carried about 25+ pounds on my back and Dave had about 35+ pounds.
There are different types of trails as well….we went down a threshold trail and connected to a primitive trail. The more raw the trail, the more technical and less traveled.
There are apparently 4 levels or classes of hiking with 4 being the most challenging on the scale. We were doing Class 3 hiking. So we kicked off my very first experience of all of this with a bang! Bean and Happy said they had confidence in us that we could handle it given our hiking and activity level we do consistently and the elevation we live at, otherwise they’d never take us on such a trek. I’m proud to say we rose to the occasion!
In our trails we had sections of what they call Black Diamond, which is like the ski runs with that being the hardest of any. And also were on some Double Diamond sections, which involves climbing with hands and legs, where you either hand off your trekking poles or bracelet them around one wrist while you climb up rocks in canyons.
I had no idea what to expect, but as I mentioned, I just said, “yes” to it all, despite likely my greatest fear being heights (specifically being on an edge, but not flying or paragliding). Likely because of my Pisces fish feet that hadn’t fully merged into their Cappy mountain goat hooves – yet.
As I said, this was my very first time doing any of this, as my camping experience is limited to a couple childhood times, but I’ve never done the full-on back packing, camping and trekking like this, despite all of my hiking.
So, this being the first was really a huge leap….as not only did it not go in baby steps of introducing me, but took me pretty full-on in every way to fully immerse me in the most challenging of everything that would help me arise and conquer.
This wouldn’t have been possible at any other time in my life, as this is when I’ve been most in my “nature,” aligning me the most with Nature.
And given the Capricorn energy that’s been beckoning me further, I indeed needed that mountain goat courage and sure-footedness to navigate my new path in life. Hence, I called in the “Grand-est” adventure to help with that leap.
It seemed Mother Nature was also on our side in aiding this plight, as we had the most incredible weather you could ask for.
We started the hike with rain that only lasted about an hour, which made all the colors of the Canyon pop and created amazing fog and clouds that slowly revealed the mystery below us in divine increments, and then turned into perfect sunshine and shading throughout the rest of our days that was mild and comfortable.
Our first night was the coolest at about 40 and then warmed as we descended, but our days were high 60’s to 70 with gorgeous light, stunning clouds and sunsets, and even a mysterious wind for a portion of our last day’s ascent, blowing in change and moving seeds of time before we reunited with civilization above and into a new timeline – as indeed it feels a time leap and shift took place.
There are so many layers of experience including personal, group, and collective, involving integration, spirit retrieval, activation, renewal, anchoring, healing, strengthening, parting veils, and so much more! Rich and sacred indeed, which to me was even mirrored in my hair.
I normally have my hair down, but felt called to ask Bean to braid it for the journey to make things easier, but also to connect with my “roots” more and the Native vibe. The first two days I had two french braids woven into my hair, then a free flowing “down” hair vibe at the river in between the last two days of one inverted french braid to round things out. Not only is braiding a very sacred ritual that weaves in intention, but the symbolism of two braids – feeling like me riding the middle balancing duality like the Chariot in Tarot – and then the inverted one braid – as integrating and transmuting the two into a whole new and potentially parallel reality.
It was interesting to see the photos of my braids after, as I’ve never seen underneath my hair except for in front where I see both on top and under where my silvers are most evident. But in getting to see the inverted french braid photo, I was able to see how silvers are interwoven everywhere in my hair and that made me extra giddy. Most people wouldn’t necessarily be happy about that, but I was quite ecstatic to find them literally threaded throughout and that added another layer of ancient and new side-by-side. Much like just being in the Grand Canyon felt….taking me back ages, but from a new perspective of now. Old and new me coming together – that Trinity energy of Maiden, Mother, Crone spiraling in a vortex of One.
And speaking of vortexes, you better believe I experienced that here. The most profound being on our first night at one of three incredible campsites we enjoyed.
Our first day (which was greeted with a mule deer on our path just before we reached the trail head) was filled with new vistas around each corner and much to tantalize the senses. When we stopped for lunch at the creek, Bean and I went exploring down it a ways and came upon magickal waterfalls….a faery land indeed!
We hardly saw any people while trekking – no more than a handful or so, until the last day when we were on the home stretch. And that included completely private campsites we had all to ourselves and the spirits of the Canyon.
It was at the first site that those hidden Egyptian connections were firmly confirmed for me.
To begin, let me rewind to the jewelry I felt called to wear for this entire trip. I normally don’t wear jewelry hiking – or at least it’s seldom and rare – but I was called to wear 3 bracelets – sunstone, obsidian, and citrine – and one necklace with a very special pendant.
The pendant is a turquoise Horus that I got on one of my travels to Egypt. I immediately was told to wear it. All of these stones I felt would be supportive to my integrating and anchoring in Earthy and empowering energy for the trek, while protecting and infusing me with just what I needed. (In the above photo you see it hovering over Horus Temple and below hovering over Tower of Set. If you know their story, bringing them together was for balancing).
Little did I know that so many of the peaks and citadel formations of the Canyon are Egyptian named. One just so happened to be Horus Temple. 😉
On this first night Bean found us an incredible camping site that literally rocked my world.
We set up tents near the edge of the Canyon overlooking the Colorado River on both sides (each of us having a view of the river at both ends) with the Tower of Ra, Horus Temple, and Tower of Set behind and to the right of him all overlooking us! Osiris Temple was off in the background behind them. (There’s also Zoroaster Temple and Isis Temple – not sure if I’m missing others, but these are the Egyptian ones I became aware of on this journey).
It felt like no coincidence this would be our first night’s camping site, making it an initiating and activating experience for sure. The light of the setting Sun on Ra was incredible and the colors just painted themselves brilliantly, as we settled in.
Like all days and evenings, we enjoyed yummy vegan food and never felt deprived or without. We had bags of trail mixes, peanut butter pretzels, some of my fav dry roasted almonds, vegan jerky (bought and home made), my favorite Chocolate Peanut Butter and Chocolate Mint Clif Builder’s Protein Bars, and hearty Outdoor Herbivore breakfast and dinner meals of oatmeal with chunks of apple, quinoa, and seeds, raisins and cinnamon, Basil Walnut Penne with crushed basil and walnuts, and Cheddar “Mac” with sundried tomato and nutritional yeast. Our friends brought along their own mixes of meals we got to share and sample, along with fun vegan candies as treats now and then. We would carry all of our water and filter and make water along the way at creeks and the river.
This first day was our longest trek all at once of 11 miles. As mentioned, miles in the Canyon are not the same as miles on regular terrain, as there is more to take into consideration with the type of trail, technical maneuvering, caution of foot placement, elevations changes, climbing and descending on varying terrain, and of course carrying your heavy back pack and taking breaks for water and food to fuel along the way. So it can double or nearly triple your time, depending on your skill or experience level.
We set up camp, marveled at our views and the energy there, filled our tummies, enjoyed conversation awaiting the stars to appear, and settled in for our first night – the coldest of the nights since we were at around 4000-4500 elevation and quit exposed. Luckily we were all prepared with our layers and thermals and our sleeping bags that take 20 degree weather.
Anyway, this first night was the most interesting for me, as not only were my quads adjusting to the new ways of using their muscles in carrying a pack and climbing giant steps, but I had a hard time falling asleep for what seemed like an hour or more.
Because the mountain was moving.
I laid on the side of tent that was closest to the edge of the Canyon and nearest to the Tower of Ra. And when I say it was moving, I mean I literally was on edge because I could feel the non-solidity of a very solid mountain that was rolling toward Ra, Horus, and Set and that our tent was flowing off the mountain as if on a waterfall. But not down, as in falling into the Canyon, but down and off the edge into a magnetized glide toward these towering Guardians.
I was ready to get up and get outside the tent to actually see it, but being that it was cold out and I was mixed with excitement and nervousness, I stayed put. I resigned to the fact that the Horus pendant I was wearing, in fact was creating a grid between me and Horus Temple and the others, literally drawing me to them, or rather, soaring on his wings to return “home.” Or, perhaps it was acting as a key that opened a portal. I’d say it was both, but that’s just me.
I knew then these “conspiracy” theories, which I never thought of in that light anyway because I believed, were in fact reality. There was definitely a vortex here, definitely an Egyptian connection, and the mysteries of the ancients were opening themselves to me…welcoming me…or in fact, welcoming me back. Just as with my first trip to Egypt, where everyone I’d met on the streets would look me deeply in my eyes, as if to recognize me and kept saying “welcome back” and “welcome home,” as they handed gifts to me.
Egypt has always been one of, if not my most powerful connections in this lifetime to help open and unravel things for me. I felt at home in the Canyon and there was a sense of the familiar, as well as a lessened sense of my normal fear of heights – or perhaps it was an increased sense of my ability to power through it and access that technical focus and mind/heart connection that created ultra awareness and sensibility. Perhaps it was an added layer of my Egyptian spirit activation or a recall of doing this all before, in another time and space.
There was no denying what I knew in my heart and spirit…Egypt was here and SO much more, and I’d been here too, long, long ago.
The rest of that night continued interesting with dreams after dreams and awakening and sleeping on and off likely because of the potent energy surging through me and my body adjusting to all these new and old experiences merging at once. Like another soul retrieval and return to “origins” I’ve been speaking about, but I definitely felt the presence of divine and powerful beings around me.
And yet, I woke the next morning to a gorgeous sunrise and new day feeling refreshed and ready to go. Although there was definitely something new in the air.
We took in our surroundings over breakfast, thankful for this incredible site and the energy we got to experience here. Then prepped and made our way after a group shot.
This next day we had about 4 miles to go (if I’m remembering correctly) to our River destination.
I remember how this day I felt lighter and the backpack that I was learning my way around the previous day in terms of adjusting just right and finding my body balance, was no longer a thought. From here on, I did not really notice my backpack and came to feel it to be almost nurturing to have there…like a shell to a turtle.
In fact, I always call myself a turtle when I hike, as my usual hiking is to have a consistent turtle speed (allbeit, this is usually faster than the average person, is slower than most experienced people). This is how I maintain my energy levels without getting depleted, is a way I can enjoy my surroundings and check things out, and is also my preferred mode even more so now in order to strategize each move deliberately and thoughtfully to avoid “incidents.” I’m definitely the rabbit and tortoise dichotomy, incarnate. 😉
We reached a creek and followed a bed of rocks that led us to the Colorado River where we set up our next private campsite on the most beautiful beach all to ourselves.
The sand was silky between our well-traveled toes and here we quickly set up camp so that we could enjoy a full day and night.
We reached camp around the same time of 2-2:30 and here is where we washed clothes in the River and also enjoyed a very invigorating and cold, refreshing bath immersing in the flowing water where the rapids rolled by.
We always washed up every night with things we brought along, but this was our best bathing of the journey that left us fully renewed and revitalized.
Explorations were in store a bit, as we checked out the incredible Vishnu layer of black rocks here that are so smoothly carved they appear like fine sculptures with razor sharp edges in some places.
In some areas they are laced with white and blue glazed crystalline layers that are truly magnificent.
There were so many incredible stones, fossils, crystals, layers of the Canyon rock that we discovered along the way, including 100’s of heart-shaped rocks that lit up our path with love, as if placed by angels that were supporting us along the way. Some of the incredible pieces dated back 1.7 billion years, as in the case of the Zoroaster Granite of the Vishnu layers.
The fossils dating 2.6 billion years of shells, small sea creatures, worms, and salamander/lizard-like prehistoric beings. Amazing!
I also loved the Chert, which are these layers of “microcrystalline or cryptocrystalline sedimentary rock material composed of silicon dioxid” that comes in these gorgeous colors of electric blues, aquas, greens, purples, whites, and clear in between the red stone layers. Some looking like cosmic galaxies and others like pieces of colored glass in interesting shapes.
This was a day of fun, relaxing, and games, as we took in the rays of the sun kissing our skin with tans and blushing glows and I literally let my hair down.
We played Hanged Man on the dunes (where Oompa Loompa – my phrase stole the winning words), played Rock/Paper/Scissors to see who would do the dishes (Dave lost), explored the rocks, watched the rapids and a few rafters and kayakers come down them, Dave did his yoga stretches, Clint made us fresh water with his filter, we created our group “cover photo,” and then relaxed with our warm, hearty meals on the dunes until the stars came out.
We then were dazzled by the incredible clarity we could see, watched interesting moving objects (some I knew were of another origin), and even got out my Sky Map app on my phone to check out where everything was located.
Speaking of phones….my new one is incredible. I didn’t take my regular camera because I didn’t want to lug something heavier. So I opted for my cell phone to capture moments, of which most of the photos you see here are from, minus some that Bean took with her camera. I put it in airplane mode for the trip, but kept it on all day to take photos of the journey, only shutting it down at dinner time until the next morning. It lasted the whole 4 days, and actually I had about 38% battery still remaining when we returned. So I’m pretty impressed with the battery. I have an Android G5S Plus.
Anyway, I digress.
We all had a great night sleeping at the River. How incredible to hear the rapids right outside our tent all night and then we even got a random, surprise rain in the middle of the night for about an hour or so, which added to the lovely sounds that lulled me to sleep. I slept well and dreamed well. Oh did I dream so much on this trip!
The next morning we woke with the confirmed decision that instead of remaining at the River for another full day and night, as we originally planned, that we would instead make our way back slowly so as to break up the last day’s ascent and get in another different campsite. We left after lunch, just before noon, enjoying a relaxed morning where Bean and I explored the Vishnu layers of incredible and potent stones and crystals amidst the pools of Colorado magick. We were sad to leave here and held in our hearts the memories.
Then we headed off to do our first 4-5 mile return. Doesn’t sound like much, but again it’s quite different in Canyon miles with backpacks in the mix.
This is where we encountered some of the more challenging parts to the hike with ascending and climbing and some more exposed edges to test my fears. We’d had 2 or 3 along the way down, but the way back would present more. Our entire trip was one big loop, which is something we decided upon, as a group at onset. We could either do a down and back the same way, or this big loop. We opted for the loop and the extra challenges of the trail, as it just felt right and didn’t seem like if we’re going to do something, not to get the fullest experience possible out of it. At least that’s my take on things….all in or not.
Here is where I began to really utilize my mental skills even more. I’ve always said and continue to feel that this kind of stuff isn’t a physical thing, but a mental one. And the heart comes into play into that, hand-in-hand, as your heart needs to be in it as well. When heart and mind come together, then anything is possible, despite physical challenges you may think you have.
And this was my take on this, which is why having never done it, felt I could and I did.
To be honest, although my quad muscles worked through soreness at night when I was still and slept (mostly the first 2 nights), I never felt them during the day while moving and the same went for anything else. Yes, I breathed hard through it all, but breath is important. And yes, it took continued effort, but that was my mind pushing me. I didn’t feel any discomfort in the process, only effort in mentally staying alert and pushing on.
The only physical things were my constantly running nose, which always happens whenever I do any kind of hiking – easy or hard – in any weather and any altitude (my body’s cleansing I believe), and the breathing. I was the master nose blower, and had my own hankie just for it. Boy, must I have moved energy through that beak! LOL!
But the instant I would stop, I immediately went back to normal and felt fine.
This truly marveled me, as I wondered how it would feel and if I’d be completely wiped after each push. But instead, it was like my body balanced out and then prepared for the next gusto. Incredible! I also immediately noted how each day I grew stronger and stronger. The first day having been most challenging to heave myself up the very big reaches my legs needed to lift me up and needing an extra push from behind now and then, and then the next day and the next, getting through it more on my own with only an occasional boost if I was at an edge and needing to make a big leap up so as to ensure my balance and safety. I’m not going to lie and say this was easy, as I definitely think you shouldn’t tackle something like this if you aren’t prepared in whatever fashion that means for you…physical training, mental training, or simply getting yourself in overall well-being shape. However, it was extraordinary to me that it wasn’t as hard as I imagined it could be. You see, although I do a lot of hiking, I’m not one to really enjoy the uphill parts of hiking. I do it, but I find it less fun. 🙂
But I’d have to say that the challenge and technicality of this uphill stuff in the Canyon really helped me rise to the occasion and tap into interesting parts of myself….my Cappy.
The technicality and the prospect of falling with the wrong move, really kept me alert and everything interesting. It’s hard to explain, but definitely it had to be all of my Capricorn energy lighting up and saying “finally! here you go accessing your placements and now we can show you what you’ve had inside of you all along to utilize!” Amazing!
And the comradery of our very encouraging, nurturing, supportive, and positive group made all the difference too. There was no rush and yet we moved right through it. There was only LOVE. And having those voices and energies of confidence and encouragement with me, really helped me dig deeper and bring out the best to match theirs. GOOD STUFF!
And this got me to campsite 3 and our last night in the Canyon.
This was another beautiful vista place that offered us a wonderful sunrise in the morning with the Moon. It is also where all of the lovely colorful Chert was.
AND this is where my inner goat interfaced with the Desert Bighorn Sheep.
Until then we hadn’t seen these although they and many other animals are around in the Canyon. We heard screeching Hawks (yay! one of my spirit guides and connected with Horus), saw Condors off in the distance, Raven greeted us by the River (I found a large feather there too, of which I’m not sure to which big bird it belongs yet), heard and saw lots of other smaller Birds, Lizards, a Tarantula, smelled Mountain Lion pee several times and the smell of Ungulates strongly at certain points (Mule Deer and Bighorn Sheep), AND the night at the river, Bean and I saw a ring-tailed cat (which was quite the gift!)
She and I had gone down to the river to pee before bed (hehe) and up above us she saw two eyes glowing. She mentioned it to me and I looked up and the ring-tailed cat emerged coming down closer instead of running off and hiding. This enabled us to catch glimpse of it fully and that long, cool ringed-tail. You can Google them to see what they look like. Really cute!
But back to my inner goat and the Bighorn Sheep. That last night while everyone was asleep, I woke up with the sense of something and then I heard footsteps outside. I knew it wasn’t Bean and Happy because they usually have their head lamps on if they get out, plus these foot steps were multiple and ongoing. First right to the left of our tent. Then to the back of our tent. Then in front and heading down the plateau and mountain. Then back to beside us. It would go fully quiet and then it started all over. I wanted so much to open the tent and peer out at them, but I was afraid I’d scare them off and so I sat there listening to the footsteps and breaths.
I knew in my heart they were the Bighorn. It gave me chills as I sat up in the darkness and listened and tried to connect. I felt so much that they had come to infuse me with their energy and prep me for the last day of those hardest miles we had left ahead. I knew this was no coincidence, but a divine encounter. One, best left in the mysterious abyss of the night where knowing was more powerful than proof.
And yet, proof is what I got the next morning that I wasn’t in fact making it up, as I found hoof prints around our tent and around the campsite and when I asked Bean and Happy if they heard anything, they concurred. Dave had been fast asleep. I hadn’t dare woken him, as he’d been getting the best sleep of his life the last three nights. Nature does a body good!
This was also the night Astrid came into my dreams 3 times. I’d definitely been amping up the communicating and connecting with her over our time away, but this was the first deliberate time she came into dream time. I knew she was connecting with me and through the dream symbolism, I pieced together that she was experiencing what I was and that she was taking on things along with me, sharing that she and I are one and she was with me all the way. It made me feel good that our bond was so strong and her letting me know there wasn’t anything she wasn’t aware of was enlightening as to her blossoming gifts she is sharing. The dream also indicated that she missed me a lot and then there was another part I’m still trying to decipher as to its symbolism or literal meaning. My sense is it in part indicated that she had two rabbit spirits that were with her providing her companionship while I was away. Yet, there is another level to it as well.
Anyway, I was grateful for the Bighorn, as I know this assisted with my fear of heights. All in all, I was really proud of myself and surprised myself with how well I did with this on the entire journey. I had my moments where the adrenaline rushed, my mental faculties were on all-time high to stay focused, and I had a second of scare-pause, but I moved right through it in a much easier and quicker way than I ever have in the past.
Quite a feat for me given I had a heavy pack and was climbing at times, as well as on some very exposed and slanted edges that really didn’t seem much like a trail. LOL! But I remained collected and mentally engaged, which if anything would have been more draining than the physical involved. I did the same process I do with skiing where I only focus on what’s in front of me and don’t take in all of the rest to distract. If I got to a drop off, I never looked down, just forward and focused on what to do to stay balanced and grounded.
Bean wanted to ensure I’d take in the views, so she’d point them out. I would only look when I had both feet planted firmly and my body positioned comfortably and anchored. I didn’t want anything throwing me off, nor did I get ahead of myself, speed up and take anything for granted, nor get cocky about what I’d accomplished. Every step was new and fresh and taken with the same presence as the last. I even invited any continued suggestions and guidance along the way in how to approach difficult areas, as this kind of engagement of the brain helped keep me fully embodied. Bean didn’t want to over-mother me, but I said to keep the dialogue going because it worked well. At the same time it seemed a good fit for her too, since she could practice her trail leading for the future. She and Happy are great guides! If you’re ever so lucky to have them, you will be blessed.
This got me through it. And it wasn’t all the time that I was faced with challenge, as it got easier and easier. I just kept up with the process, as it needs to become second nature. I’m retraining myself into my nature. And that is like muscle memory. You need to keep doing it and not take it for granted just because it works once. With consistency, it will become normalcy.
And the last stretch of a little over a mile up to the rim took my mental focus to get out that last push. Usually when I’m in that kind of push, I go quiet. This is when I’m digging deep and I become the energizer bunny that keeps chugging along. So I got through the last hard haul up with consistent momentum bringing me to the top and feeling quite full-circle.
There wasn’t a sense of exhaustion. On the contrary, there was a sense of revitalization. There was both a joy in accomplishment, but a sadness at the ending of a beautiful, memorable, and epic experience.
It definitely took me to a new level of inner connection and embodiment. And returning was an odd sense of reluctance mixed with excitement. Reluctant to leave this wonderful place and experience, but excited to see what’s next because of it.
There was also a sense of being yet again in a different reality than everyone we returned to and that timeline jump shifting into a different gear.
A sense of suspension in the moment, not knowing if you want or need to move forward and happy to just be in that void space.
Two mule deer greeted us at the top of the canyon and on our drive to dinner there was a very large herd of Elk and like a hundred or more congregating Ravens, like I have never seen before, all together in one area. It was odd, ominous, but also super cool! Everything felt different. Had we’d entered some alternate reality we really wanted to keep moving into?
We did continue on though, enjoying our evening back with yummy food and rest before road tripping it to Las Vegas, where we would be flying home out of. There we indulged on vegan delicacies, danced to move the energy, laughed so hard, played, walked a lot, and integrated back into a world that was no longer familiar, but like a muscle memory, became easier to return to when infused with lightness of heart.
Thank you GC for helping me to merge the parts of myself needed for the path I’ve chosen right now, for anchoring in my Cappy energy, and supporting me in the best way possible to move through my fear of heights and learn new processes for conquering any mountain! Thank you also for opening the door to your mysteries and hidden treasures, of which I know I’ll discover more of in the future. It’s no wonder why Happy and Bean love you so! You truly are magnificent!
Upon returning home we saw another coyote in the fields before heading up the mountain and coyote tracks on our driveway. I’ve already settled in, but find my surroundings both different and extra nurturing. I immediately heard my closet call for a Spring cleaning – perfect timing – and sang a cosmic lullaby to Astrid, as I held her close and she tranced into peaceful unity with me. I’ve been enjoying the expansion of a new book I started reading since onset of the trip (a new thing for me who hardly reads these days other than the book I wrote) and am extra charged to finish that book this month, also just in time for Spring.
I’ve reflected on how amazing it is to have such incredible friends and soul family with me at this time of my life. The kind most of my life I never knew the experience of and now am seeing that only that which is most resonant and reflective of my heart is what I am surrounded by. This to include my dear Astrid who has really shifted in mirror to mom, since my return home. Our connection is beyond beautiful. There’s so much to be grateful for and Dave and I talked about all of this upon return home, reviewing our lives now and all that is in them.
And Bean and Happy are definitely treasures more valuable than any crystal or discovery one can unearth. It was definitely bitter sweet to say farewell for now, after our incredible 8 days with them.
But for now, they go off to live out one of their dreams on their bucket list – working at the Grand Canyon for at least the season – and we return to the next leg of our paths to see where and when they will merge again.
To you two, THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your love of the GC with us, sharing your time, and letting us see through your eyes. Thank you for making this next leap in my/our lives possible. I’d explore any canyon or mountain with you!
And mountains are what I foresee ahead. There will be many, but as my Bighorn Sheep/Cappy friends have assured me, I have everything I need within myself to do what ever I decide I want to. There’s no mountain too tall or too scary for T!
In the end, a new beginning was written and once again I find myself both filled with gratitude and also in wonder of what I will say “yes” to next.
(If you made it this far, thank you for coming along the adventure with me, as I integrate it all through sharing. As a writer my biggest problem isn’t writer’s block, but not being able to stop writing!
May the spirit within these images of the Grand Canyon lift you and reach depths that allow you to soar. Happy Spring Equinox and Renewal! Or as Astrid would say, Hoppy Spring!)
Posted on March 20, 2018, in Uncategorized and tagged Arizona, backpacking, camping, capricorn energy, egyptian temples, fear, grand canyon, hiking, human evolution, transformation, trekking. Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.