A SELECTION OF TRUE AWAKENING STORIES… PART III
I recently mentioned that I would be sharing my personal contribution to Barbara Franken’s October Challenge…A Selection of True Awakening Stories Part III and so it is that I’m sitting down and digging deep to bring forth what my heart has to say. The focus is to share where I find myself on this “Ascension” journey and any insights I’ve gleaned since writing my last reflection. It could also simply be anything that feels most authentic to impart when I look within at this now moment. Barbara will be creating a free e-book for others, upon completion of all shares from contributors this month. So if you don’t follow her blog and have missed others’ stories, you can catch them that way too.
To recap, this was the post I shared on February 25, 2016 – the day before my 43rd birthday for my sweet friend Barbara Franken of Me, My Magnificent Self:
It included my Awakening Experience and Where I Am Now, at the time of the post.
For that reason, I’ll only be sharing about Where I Am Now, but first let me just preface a few changes that have taken place before I get into more of the deeper stuff.
This time I find myself writing on October 22nd, 2018, which happens to be the 10th anniversary between my partner and I, just 4 months before my 46th birthday. And since that post our little family of animal companions has transformed – still the same two cats (Boojum and Sweet Pea), but with a new rabbit, Astrid, after saying goodbye to our bunny loves, Joy and Cosmo, during our Magick Bus journey. In fact, the last time I shared, we were living in the RV and had just started our one-and-a-half-year, grand adventure.
I didn’t know then how truly transformative that decision would be, but it is one of the best and most profound things I’ve done. I’ll share more on that in the Where I Am Now portion, but since the last share we’ve settled back down in Lake Tahoe, Nevada in a dream home we renovated that sits on the National Forest. We call it the Forest Portal.
And it is from the Forest Portal that I now begin again.
Where I Am Now:
I don’t speak that often about what led to our full-time living in our Magick Bus RV, but in a nutshell it has to do exactly with what Barbara’s theme of this blog series is about. Life as we’d known it was empty, or rather, had no where else to go in the vein that we were. And for me, personally, life as I’d known it until then had come to closure and truly if it weren’t for that adventure we jumped with full trust into, and for a sweet special needs bunny named, Cosmo, I wouldn’t still be here. I like to say they both saved me and choosing to see where things would lead, saw me to where I am now. This all hit me very fast during the year after we returned from an immersion in Alaska, where everything I knew about myself shattered and washed clear away. After that trip, I spent the full year before our RV adventure, in deep reflection and received many messages, dream visitations, and signs that I had the option to stay or return back to the Cosmos from which I came. This, simply through a soul release.
It may sound dark or ominous, but I assure you it was in full peace and clear confirmation of contracts complete over the ages. (I am smiling as the clock says 11:11 as I wrote that).
I reviewed and I delved, and the choice weighed heavily on my heart. In the end, I chose to explore a new possibility, to be open to potentials that might recreate things for me here on Earth, and to see if any of it called enough to my heart to make me want to stay.
And off on the Magick Bus we went.
During that time I immersed fully into Nature and loved every rich moment of it, as I sank my teeth deeper into the marrow of what life truly is about here. I came to know myself in a way that I hadn’t yet, free of definitions and all titles or roles preceding lifetimes had cast me in.
And most importantly I found my own elixir of life that was rooted in merging Earth and Cosmos and bringing these aspects of myself into harmony. I grounded and embodied more than I ever had, but I also brought through the physical, the most Cosmic part of myself that I ever had. A new dance began where each became blurred and natural alchemy was at work.
Ultimately, I melted into peace and my rabbit companions reminded me what was most important to me by expanding my heart tenfold – think the Grinch in that scene where his heart grows three sizes and he comes to know the true meaning of Christmas – in my case, I discovered my true meaning of being.
Perhaps some of you have experienced your own version of renewal, rebirth, a walk-in, or a whole new incarnation. I believe Barbara mentioned in her share feeling she would live two incarnations in her life and that a new way of living from her heart in harmony would emerge. Although I didn’t have that same thought, I resonate and mirror her feelings and now am experiencing the new embodiment of what this is like.
The me that I knew literally died one day on a river and who emerged from those waters and the thick of the wild, was someone altogether new – although the most familiar and most me.
Since then that “most me” has been emerging like a snake from its skin…a caterpillar from its cocoon…and it’s so fresh and freeing – full of any and all multi-possibilities.
In reflection, not only have I been having so many dreams of me birthing, but snake dreams and physical encounters with them have been prolific – in fact just last night a giant blue snake was gently moving all around me.
And this is where what some call “ascension” comes to mean, for me, liberation…expansion…a return to natural harmony…remembrance of my song.
It’s not a ladder of growth or a measurement of higher or better, but rather feels like multi-dimensional rooms to a Cosmic mansion folding in on itself over and over and then emerging over and over, creating a tapestry of inter-connected limitlessness, with me at the core of that tapestry.
Or simply put, it’s Cosmic love flowing through my heart’s creative expression.
What this looks and feels like for me now has involved complete dropping away of all that I’ve known, which included walking away from the work I have been doing up until now in order to follow what inspires me the most – surrendering to my heart’s greatest joy alone and knowing that is the best gift and natural extension of what I have to share with the collective (in fact I’ve dropped the word “service” as it carries for me the seeds of enslavement unconsciously within our DNA) – living from a place of harmony, balance, and surrender – trusting every step of the way without need to know anything and not looking to others for answers – and choosing every moment from love and what invigorates my heart the most.
In the physical sense, it led us back to our beloved home in Lake Tahoe, which at this time in our lives feels most nurturing for all that we are birthing. It’s renewed my relationship with Nature in a deeper way than ever. It’s surrounded me with everything I love and that mirrors the child within. It’s reminded me of what is most important to me and brought me full circle to my love for rabbits and how they are my everything. It brought my new magick rabbit, Astrid, into my life. It’s inspired a story to write that began with the Magick Bus journey – the book I’m working on and feels to be my baby birthing from this new life springing forth from within. And it’s seeded a new tree of life from my core, full of creative visions yet to come.
I have no attachment to how things need to unfold. I just keep following my heart’s guidance and know it will always steer me harmoniously.
I have no fear of physical death since it has no meaning to the limitless me other than a creative process. I live as fully as possible every day and keep deepening in gratitude and invigoration of what this Earth experience has to offer. It is but a blip in our multi-dimensionality and yet it can be lived as a work of art if we choose to experience it that way.
I live from a more multi-dimensional experience and bring through all parts of me to engage life, as well as open to as many possibilities without fixating on any one thing.
I let things flow through me from all parts of experience when they come up and then I watch them dissipate back into their color on the canvas I’m painting.
I walk in a realm where potential is fertile, hope fuels my wings, belief is my fertilizer, creativity lights the way, and peace is my companion. I don’t see sides…I only see experience unfolding like Nature’s seasons and cycles within the Great Mystery.
To some I may seem naive or The Fool. I’ve always had a thing for The Fool in Tarot. Depends on your perspective, doesn’t it?
And yet this is all both very new and yet like “a remembering” all at once.
So it’s somewhat like beginning again, learning along the way with only “doing” as my guide, exploring the possibilities, and feeling mystified by every encounter and experience as if it’s the first.
I am not yet the butterfly, but rather feel like the cocoon has just opened a small hole at its end where light is gently streaming upon my stirring head, my eyes slowly opening for the first time, and I’m feeling the miracle and excitement of this new form I find myself in.
Golden embryonic fluid, warmed by that light, is beginning to drip away.
And all possibilities are open to me.
I don’t know if Barbara has updated the list of contributors yet, but last I looked I found it interesting that the first 15 days were full and the last week of October were full. But the 4 days before my day and the 2 days after, were still open. So, the next share may not be until October 25th by Michael. You can check out the first link of this post to catch all of the previous shares and upcoming ones. In any event, thank you so much Barbara and to everyone for sharing from their heart. And thank you for stopping by and listening to my story. Perhaps you might find a little bit of you in all of the shares.