Monthly Archives: November 2018
Today we take another break from our regular scheduled program to share my thoughts to another blog challenge – this time from sweet Linda of Litebeing. The title is Divine Mission – Possible Blog Challenge where Linda asks us to “write about what we feel our spiritual mission here on Gaia is” to include answers to the following questions.
Are you a lightworker, Starseed, forerunner, Indigo, or none of the above?
What have you incarnated to do or to be?
Describe your mission and your journey to achieve it.
Are you delighted to be here?
I chose 11/11/11 as the portal date to share mine, as somehow that felt particularly potent for this declaration and expression, as I’ve come to understand it so far.
Mission is a mixed bag of chips for me, as I do feel we each have focuses, but for me it boils down to the creative expression we are deciding to experience and a frequency we feel resonant with in cultivating more of.
While I feel we make spirit contracts in the way of a committed focus – hence mission – I feel we are also learning how to temper this “mission above all else” idea with love – Cosmic love, that is. One might think that love would naturally be the mission, but in fact there are many times, on bigger picture and smaller picture levels, we will follow a “mission” and forego love on many levels for our idea of the most compassionate, greater good choice.
I don’t agree with this – or at least, not anymore – although don’t have a simple answer to convey. And while it can be tough to find that balance, it leads me on further exploration of how I can best bring through my own example of how I’m coming to see this experience on Earth and beyond looking like to me.
In which case, a more nebulous answer is the best I can muster, as I find myself in continual exploration, excavation, and experimentation.
Was it always that way for me?
In fact, I was caught up so much in needing to “know” my path, my purpose, my reason for being here…my mission, that I got lost in the details and strayed more from the natural way I birthed into being. Everything seemed to be about defining myself more and having to create labels or have a specific focus, otherwise I guess I wouldn’t be good enough?
It seems we’ve all been through that story.
Searching and searching I have done most of my life. But the more I searched, the farther I felt myself to be from satisfied with the results of my research. And if something didn’t fit into my and the collective’s idea/l of how that “should” look, then search some more I would or would wander off into inability to manifest in the way I wanted, or knew was possible, because ultimately I was an idea and not an embodiment.
So, am I a lightworker, Starseed, Indigo, etc.?
I would likely fall into the definitions of what we think of these to be, but I’d rather loosely describe myself as a pilgrim of the Cosmos singing my song and sharing that harmony from the farthest depths of love in my heart I continue to discover, as I dance with All That Is.
I’ve definitely never felt at home here since I was born, although have a huge love and reverence for Mother Earth – Terra. Here was seeded possibility and greater creative expression, and I uphold that origin in the countless lifetimes of incarnating here. And yet, in doing so, I remained trapped in an endless spiral of mission desiring to “correct” things, and misunderstood the scope of that commitment.
Perhaps the fight, and plight for that matter, is an illusion and liberation lies in our innocence.
So while in the past I would have said something like, “my mission is to help, empower, heal, etc. others”….life here has now become an experience.
An experience of what?
I guess if I have to describe it, it would be something like discovering more ways of how I can simply and most purely sing of the love in my heart and more clearly bring through Cosmic harmony as an Earth frequency embodiment – what ever that means – through every encounter I share here.
I dance in the magickal and am enraptured with enchantment, but it’s not the kind that blinds you under a spell, but rather invites and activates a brighter version of experience.
I used to be deeply in pain over my being here again on Earth. I never felt understood and likely still don’t, as there is so much I can’t explain of my experience and why I do and feel as I do, but the difference now from then is that I don’t care and it doesn’t hurt me anymore. I’m also not attached to an outcome and I could easily enjoy being here doing what I’m doing, or be elsewhere because the bottom line will be the same.
Everything I do in one reality, affects the others.
I’ve already shared about going through a profound transformation that, for me, erased all of these ideas and took me to the deepest peace I’ve known yet in this life. It cut away the cords to perpetual cycles I kept recreating in different ways, but same Emperor’s clothing.
I’m still discovering keys to new doorways of potential, but I know now that I don’t need a particular way my path or mission should look to be the love I feel. It’s just an adventure and I can do that while cleaning houses, volunteering at a local shelter, being a clerk at the store, working at the local coffee shop, taking care of my family, living as a hermit on top of a mountain, or being a famous artist or multi-millionaire entrepreneur.
It may not even have to be a “mission,” but simply an expression I keep choosing from my creative heart.
What ever most draws me in to experience.
It doesn’t much matter.
I simply find more ways to dance in imagination and experience through my heart. And I enjoy it all while challenging myself to more creative depths of love and courage I know have no limit.
This is why I’m here, or rather – still here experiencing this new relationship to everything – but it’s also why this seed of my spirit simply IS.
Would I say that I am delighted to be here and love it?
Hmmm….Well, I’m not resentful of it anymore. I’m seeing it as opportunity to embrace the potentials that were seeded here and why so many have been drawn to one of the best shows in this universe – Earth.
I have decided to express the most resonant, creative version of my multi-dimensional self in this focused reality of Earth I am privy to.
I’m certain the other parts of me are doing much the same.
I have a very magickal update to add to the end of this share about what took place directly after posting it. I’ll share it here later today when I return from a new hike we’re heading out to do. So check back for photos and the sweet encounter that took place.
I’m back to continue with today’s experiences. So, as mentioned, directly after I posted this blog this morning on 11-11-11, I went upstairs to wash my coffee cup and get in my hiking clothes for a new hike we had set out to explore today. Well, as I was drying my cup and facing the forest I could see movement from the kitchen through the living room window. I was ecstatic when I realized it was a deer, as we haven’t seen any deer for the year we’ve lived here, although many live in the forest surrounding us. We have seen coyote wander behind our deck and countless little woodland creatures including rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, mice, hawks, raven, and an array of smaller bird varieties, but we had yet to see deer and bears like we saw at our previous condo home.
I ran to the window with excitement and what do my eyes see? Not one, but three deer all munching away on some bushes. Two of them were more camouflaged in the bushes and harder to catch on camera, as I did not want to open the door and scare them off.
They slowly made their way left just outside the fenced area of our side yard and so I, too, went to the side window. One was ahead of the others and she somehow knew I was there above and stopped to stare directly up and at me for a good minute.
Then the others came to join her and suddenly I discovered there were four, not three!
I watched them for a while until they made their way across the street, but knew this was no accident their showing up on 11-11-11 for the very first time since we’ve lived here – well, at least in a way of making themselves known to us that is, as I’m sure they wander through when we’re not looking – and right after I posted this blog. The photos have a glare from the sun reflecting, but make for interesting photos at this angle when the four of them showed up, creating almost windows and doorways – portals – amidst the forest.
I got chills because, like another incident I had in Montana’s Glacier National Park, when two ethereal, Pleiadean deer showed up on the path in front of me this, too, was not simply an encounter of the Earthly kind.
The one who looked me dead in the eye, through my heart and spirit felt to be an emanation of my dear Nestor (rabbit twin soul who transitioned), visiting along with Joy and Cosmo (my two partnered soul mate rabbits), and Gaia – my Russian Tortoise.
I understood their presence as a nudge of love and confirmation and their ability to come through the Forest Portal we live at was supported by this 11-11-11 gateway.
Deer have such a gentle grace about them and symbolize a magickal ability to regenerate and be in touch with life’s mysteries – not to mention are all about the heart energy.
After, we did go on a new hike to what is known as Crater Lake – a desolate, steep, off-the-beaten-track hike that few people explore and on this day we were the only ones out there ascending up the mountain overlooking dramatic Hope Valley.
We happened to take a break under a gorgeous Juniper tree overlooking a frozen-over creek and when I looked at the time it said 11:11! Around our feet were juniper berries with a small glistening quartz in the middle of them right where I stood.
We continued and came to the opening saddle where the lake lies between two peeks.
The lake has a very other-planet kind of feel the way it sits in the crater surrounded by steep rocky escarpments and because of its eastern exposure gets only cool morning sun, which has it covered in sheets of ice and the waterfall above turned to ice as well.
It was a little piece of private cosmic Earth and we felt as if we’d entered a timeline vortex. (This being accentuated by two tree branches on the way back down along the trail whose arms held out in each, a different men’s long sleeved shirt. Both of which we did not see on the way up).
We also found deer tracks! They were moving across the trail, but we had not seen them going up either. Something was afoot and the deer were making themselves known.
Above the lake is a rock field of what appears to be beautifully colorful slate. I made my way around a small cluster of three trees sitting atop the stones, and over a very Faery little world of a different smooth stone covered in moss, to catch the above photo of the lake and it’s there that I found an unusual stone that has a quartz matrix growing in it and these pockets of rainbow sheen with sparkle I discovered later, as well as what appears like fossilized lichen. It’s otherworldly really and I was told to take it home, as it would assist with the next leg of the journey and be a portal access when needed. I couldn’t capture any of the detail mentioned, but this still gives you a feel for its energy.
The rest of the day was sprinkled with alignments including such things as sitting down for lunch at 1:11 and finding exactly the perfect pair of ski boots at Goodwill that I needed to replace my too small boots that hurt my feet that I fractured and since have healed, at 1/4 – 1/5 the cost. These boots were in nearly perfect condition, exactly the 2 sizes larger I wanted, and the same style and brand I currently have. We also found two white candelabra we had just the night before talked about wanting while we prepped for a dinner party we hosted.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share what unfolded after.
Did anyone else experience interesting little winks, messages, and magickal appearances?
You may see rabbits as fragile little creatures, but I assure you they are strong and enduring with a heart of courage. When asked what Astrid wanted to focus today’s blog on, she took time to herself and emerged with clarity saying, “Let’s talk about fear.” I think she’s right-on with this theme, as so many are trying to create new in their lives, follow dreams, heal from past traumas, or even just trying to muster the courage and strength amidst so much collective noise coming at them, that it’s tough. Fear can be all-consuming and paralyzing. It can bring out the best and the worst in us. Astrid wants to assure people that if she and the rabbits can do it, so can you.
Astrid has moved through a lot of fears since choosing to live with me. She used to fight fear when triggered by traumas and this was both in way of reaction AND saying “No, I will not be a victim.”
She’s since discovered that while she can still stand up to fear and victimhood, she also has another creative option that involves opening more to love.
Let’s listen in as Astrid channels the rabbit collective to bring forth their wisdom, while I do my best to be her voice.
She reminds us that rabbits are guides and messengers between worlds – bringing forth information as bridges between the Cosmos, Earth, and Underworlds – and so we can call upon them to help us navigate the journey. She giggles at the reference to “down the rabbit hole” I’m seeing in my mind’s eye because it truly is no metaphor, but a reality both in the seen and unseen worlds of rabbit.
That’s why she finds it funny we think of rabbits as timid, since they are sentinels and guardians of darkness and shadowy depths. She reminds us not to judge a book by its cover. Tricksters they are, and they use their sensitivities to navigate a different kind of journey.
Like Astrid went within to hear what wanted through, I had to get quiet to hear her message, which took me on a labyrinth-like adventure to show me the way of the rabbit.
Astrid says life is a shamanic journey and our fears can be channeled as way-showers for us and a way to take command of our lives. She reiterates with an image of her doing a dramatic thump on the ground with her powerful back legs – a sound that really penetrates here when done on our ceramic tile floors.
Rabbits thump for several reasons….to warn of danger, when they sense something that frightens them, to get our attention, to show dissatisfaction, and to make a point!
I feel it’s a way they move energy through, rather than hold it in and suppress it, just as their chewing allows for this and processing of energy and ideas, as well as that ever-wiggling nose, and those exuberant binkies.
But back to that shamanic journey…Native American legends speak of rabbit as both an ingenious trickster and hero, and that the Great Hare known as Manabozho created the world teaching sacred rites and ritual forms to shamans, as well as brought fire to the people.
Interesting that what many think of as a fragile and cute little fur ball would actually be associated with fire and creation! This goes back much further, but we’ll leave that for another time.
However, in this way we can surmise that understanding the rhyme and reason of things beyond what they seem will reveal the truth of what is beneath the feelings. We initiate ourselves via our challenges and discover that they would not be present if we did not actually have the ingenuity to outwit them.
Rabbit is also known as the “fear caller” who calls out to the very thing it fears until it’s noticed. This is twofold in meaning.
One, it reveals that indeed what you focus on fearing you draw in more of.
But two, you can also use your fear ingeniously as the very inducer to your gifts by calling fear forward to enlist courage and creativity.
Often times, it is when we are pushed to the edge and in survival mode, that we pull out our best to overcome the hurdles and surprise even ourselves.
This can take practice – each time utilizing new creative ways to move through something.
Rabbits encourage us not to let fear block our growth and opportunities. They are wonderful guides to lead us with their keen senses, ability to act swiftly and know what, and when, to embrace, and even the timing necessary to move out of a rut of stagnation.
Because in truth, if we wait too long, or never act, we just might find ourselves withering away – or in the case of a rabbit – succumbing to the very danger they feared.
They even infuse whimsical serendipity into our processes and induce the need to attune ourselves to the fine frequencies that will indicate timing for leaps of faith.
You may wonder when to make a move in some area of your life and get yourself paralyzed with choices, worrying about right or wrong, or allowing past experiences to dictate moving at all.
Rabbits help us to make effective choices with plans and teach us how to look before leaping. But then they DO actually leap. They know that they can’t wait too long, as that could be detrimental.
While we may not meet the fate of a rabbit unable to move from fear, we may create greater pain and suffering than is actually necessary if we let fear take over.
Rabbit does its best to listen to energetic waves within and without and makes a decision in every moment to keep fine-tuning their path. They don’t look at the end result. They simply navigate the moment and every twist and turn with ultra focus on what their body, feelings, and psychic instincts find most resonant.
When you see a rabbit still and alert, they are processing all the stimuli and tuning in to what and when they’ll need to act. They don’t move too soon and they don’t wait too long.
With time, we can nurture a similar process by teaching ourselves this moment-to-moment tuning in.
And what about that debilitating “victim mode” we often put ourselves in?
As some of the biggest victims there are, rabbits help us to change our relationship to this idea and ensure us that just as they’ve survived prolifically over the ages, we too can recreate ourselves, be quicker and more effective, and not only survive, but thrive.
In essence they don’t allow this victim mentality to rule their lives and nor should we.
Fear is actually creative energy blocked. So rather than creativity flowing, it turns on itself and becomes destructive, unconscious emotions running amuck until we nurture and open an outlet for it. And just as creativity is endless, so too can our fears feel like a bottomless pit until we understand this and recognize how to channel it differently.
This is also alchemy at work.
So, when something new is on the horizon, rabbit asks us to be present, tune in, and allow creativity to flow in the way of creating great plans with multiple ways in and out.
Don’t limit yourself.
Don’t be predictable.
Find new ways to blaze your path like the zig-zagging rabbit.
And if fear has you feeling lost in the dark, realize you’re not alone there.
Rabbit is right alongside you in the tunnels of shadow and unseens, gently nudging you with its moist nose of assurance that the fire within your sacred heart DOES know the way.
It may not happen immediately, just as it has taken Astrid a while to navigate this new way of fear through love, but with the right nurturing from yourself, you can find a little rabbit ready to join the journey with you.
Open your arms and let rabbit jump inside to nurture your instincts.
Rabbits are navigators of sound and can move through the darkness with ease.
So can you.
They support the sensitive seer and healer within each of us.
The part of you that knows without knowing.
Fear may not dissipate altogether, but like the rabbit, you might discover your own gift of fear-calling because you’re that clever.
Stop, be present, and look and listen with all of you in a way you never have.
Personal transformation is at hand.
You CAN outwit life and fears and have creative fun exploring the tunnels of possibility along the way.
Rabbit will be right by your side when you do.
Astrid would like to open the floor to our readers and friends. If you have a question for Astrid, please feel free to send them via the contact form and we’ll be sure to include answers, or craft a whole future blog around, your questions. Please send thoughts here: Contact Tania & Astrid
In staying with the theme that kicked off this week of influential and inspirational figures, today’s Artist’s Corner is dedicated to the mystical and incredibly fascinating Pamela “Pixie” Colman Smith. I shared this blog over three and a half years ago, but with new friends and followers, along with some profound insights this past weekend about her, I felt to resurrect this blog again. It seems no coincidence this week’s Whimsical Wednesday’s series aligns with the New Moon in Scorpio today, as we delve into the world of such a complex and deep soul who felt at home exploring the Otherworlds and Underworlds of creativity and magick. Pamela illuminates the seen and unseen from a unique perspective that indicates a blurring of veils and her ability to dip in and out of realities and dimensions that disintegrates the illusion of separation. It also seems synchronous that this share aligns with the day after elections, as her life’s work and passions are a way to honor women’s creative contributions that have gone unnoticed or devalued, and a reminder to step up things to shift into a new paradigm that no longer suppresses and hides the Sacred Feminine’s value.
A rebirthing opportunity is available to the collective and Pamela was one of the influential leaders helping to shift realities. It is quite common for visionaries to go unseen during their life’s work, but the wave of their efforts lives eternally as the seeds to new generations and the greater ease to which a domino effect gains its momentum.
Another woman of my heart who creates “life as art.”
I’ve never known anyone else who sees their art in music, which you’ll learn in the article. I also love how she stressed intuitive talents when teaching art, was passionate about immersing in story-telling and surrounding herself with other creatives, and created a “mad room out of a fairy tale” with her work space.
You can read the full blog here:
We hop into the third and last of this week’s new blog series with Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner. When checking in with her on what she wanted her first blog to focus on, she reminded me of her experience waiting for a couple of years+ at SaveABunny for someone to “see” her. Besides the founder, Marcy, and her wonderful staff of volunteers, no one could find the bridge within their hearts to really tune in to who she really is and look beyond their first reactions to her assertiveness. Astrid wisely used this behavior to help reflect to others a way for them to meet her in their wholeness of power and most importantly to step out of the stories and noise and come back to the presence of peace within the nature of their essence.
A way for her to filter companions as well, as she truly needed someone who can rise to the occasion and match her vibration so that she’d be able to bring through the gifts she came to share. I’m beyond grateful I met her needs to help be her voice and I strive daily to keep growing and learning more from her about how to drop into my essence more deeply.
Astrid shares that presence is the art of seeing and being seen and is also the hidden language of the heart.
When we are able to truly drop into our hearts and open all the tentacles of awareness available to us, we will be more receptive to all of the messaging around us and the truth of any situation.
We learn rabbit’s gift of vulnerability and how to tune our ultra rabbit senses into all the seen and unseen things and worlds.
By being ultra aware and present in the moment, we are able to see past illusions and masks so that we are able to really hear, feel, relate to, and understand what’s beneath the surface.
We are able to see.
And, when we engage presence to what’s within, we naturally become more authentic and transparent for others to see us too.
Still to this day, Astrid uses this technique with anyone who meets her. She invites others to step into this field of experience as a way to be present to what’s really going on within and without, who we really are, our motives, what drives us, and how we can cross the imaginary boundaries we think separate us from others, all of Mother Earth’s children, and the Cosmos itself.
Rabbits are very complex souls in embodiment.
They have and speak a language of their own that isn’t like a dog or cat, although you might find some similarities.
A true presence and willingness to find the peace within, patience, and engagement of your intuitive heart is needed to truly understand the gifts they have to share.
Here’s a great and very thorough article about rabbit communication to help anyone interested in knowing their rabbits more, are curious about rabbits, might be drawn to having a rabbit companion, or simply want to understand the art of presence through rabbits:
Astrid will be back for more next Friday, but for now she wants to thank anyone who takes the time to read this and hopes it inspires a desire to drop into your hearts and invite presence more into your life.
There’s a whole world of hidden language, gifts, and messages that await you within and without to explore.
You just might find a yourself enjoying a hoppier life and a more enriched way of living and being your truest.
A little mid-blog series break to share Lee’s November Energy Update with you all because I know how much many of you also resonate with his messages and find them confirming, comforting, enlightening, and inspiring. We’ll back to the end-of-the-week third part of the series tomorrow with Ask Astrid Fridays – The Rabbit’s Corner.
Do you find yourself reviewing, revisiting, and remembering “past” things a lot and quickly these days?
Lee shares that this is happening because we’re engaging the process of changing our patterns and clearing things out so much. November is elevating the energy, which can quickly lift us into a new alignment and flow, but can also create more challenges in the stuck areas of life to bring greater awareness because they don’t serve you anymore.
The giving and receiving balance is high on the radar this month, as well, to even out which end you may have been doing more or had challenge with more. Boundaries around this may be showing up on either end of where you do too much and not enough of the other.
It’s a time of taking in the moment and being present with the gifts we may be overlooking.
Yes, feminine energy is rising and coming more alive in value, which points to speaking your truth with a warming fire of fierce nurturing and courage you haven’t had before. This makes for better communication on the receiving and expressing end.
And yay, magic on a high! And it’s grounded magic now that is manifesting because of the balancing dance we’re engaging.
Here’s Lee to expound on all of these points some more.