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This is a post about joy, gratitude, and love – building blocks to manifesting a magickal and wondrous life and the foundations for supporting healing transmutation and implementation of passions into dreams come true. While some people might be thrown off balance or upset, down, and self-critical over a fracture (even the old me would have been too), I feel like everything is in flow, fresh, and thriving. Definitely some of that has to do with perspective, but it feels also to be about alignment and embrace of the harmonious spirals of life. I haven’t for a second felt anything other than harmony and gratitude since my hiking adventure that led to my injury, as it feels much more to be a reset aligned with life shifts, an igniting or opening (fissure) for the new to flow in, not to mention is mirroring the seasonal changes we’re going into from Summer to Autumn.
I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful things have been surrounding the onset of my fracture and what it has revealed and put into motion. It’s incredible to witness and review…in some ways mind-blowing because I can remember the difference in my processes over the course of my life with things and it’s so dramatically contrasting to what I experience now. This is how I can SEE things ARE in fact changing and can anchor in more and more gratitude.
I’d like to share a couple of updates and then some very beautiful and incredible experiences.
First off….more gratitude sent out to everyone who has sent their good and healing vibes my way and for sending Astrid birthday wishes. We so appreciate your love and I’d like to share that my foot is doing very well. I can’t believe it’s already going to be a week since it happened, come tomorrow! Time is literally whizzing by. OMGOSH!
I’ve made mental note of how my own nurturing processes are even in much higher gear, as I’m taking REALLY good care of myself with this fracture. I noted that last go-around I wasn’t as diligent with the process, although did do good things for it, but I didn’t baby my foot in the way I should have and still was focused on accomplishing and getting things done, rather than hunkering down into the full healing mode and not trying to see how much I could still squeeze out of it all.
This time it’s been pure healing, slow-down, and wise caution, not doing anything at all to inhibit my healing or see what I can possibly still do. I have been purely babying my foot, keeping my boot on at nearly all possible times (even when it bothered the Pisces me who likes my feet free! and even when I sleep) – and doing extra nurturing things, as well as making sure to ask for help, which Dave has been so sweetly pouring out anyway.
This has included long hours on the highest setting of my biomat for my foot the last few days and just recently starting up my comfrey poultices, after a friend picked up some for me since I couldn’t get out. Being my right foot, I’m in complete surrender of others taking care of me and driving me around….weeeeeee! That in the past would have bothered me and now I’m loving not being able to go anywhere and surrendering to that, but also enjoying the sweetness of support, love, and friendship.
Anyway, I am trying new poultices with comfrey root and this feels really symbolically and literally potent and even more aligned for me right now. I made a paste and wrapped in a thin cloth I placed in the freezer for just a bit….last night when I had it on it just felt so good….just like the biomat did….like aaahhhhhhh yummy healing for my foot.
The root feels so supportive of grounding, balancing, rooting, and Earthing that my Pisces feet can appreciate and integrate in a new way. After last night’s session of poultice while watching a movie, I literally woke this morning with my foot feeling stronger…literally!
I’ve also been doing Reiki on my foot and using a Selenite wand on the area of impact.
Good stuff, which I’ll continue to implement, along with wearing my boot all day (just as the doctor at the hospital told me too) other than when doing healing work like this to help compliment my healing process.
* (I’m not a doctor and nothing I share is offered as medical advice – CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL and see a doctor immediately if you have been injured. These are only my personal experiences I take responsibility for only for myself) *
Even my sweet Astrid has been helping. I thought she would be scared of my boot and crutches when I first came home with them, but she in fact was not and in fact has immediately gone about sharing her healing energy with me, reiterating my knowing she is a healing bunny. When ever I am near her, she will come over and nose my boot/foot, which is her way (all of my bunnies’ way) of administering healing. Their noses are a channel, just like our hands, to spread the energy and love. So sweet! I remember Nestor doing this, especially once for my mom in conjunction with me doing a Reiki Healing Attunement for her, which was like a super pow! Immediately shifted my mom into balance and feeling good. Astrid is definitely demonstrating the same power-packed punch!
So that’s a foot and healing update, which I envision continuing well and being speedy based on my experience with it so far and being a good patient. 😉
On another note, I have to share this incredible thing that happened on Thursday that blew me away. We had friends over since I still was in “stay home mode” and Dave had to go out to pick up food we ordered at our fav local Thai restaurant, since T – me – wasn’t cooking and staying off her feet.
A knock came at the door and I opened it to find no one there, except these beautiful babies and a note.
I immediately knew that our amazing friends had gone back to retrieve my crystal babies.
So, I’ll back up to help you understand this, as I likely wasn’t clear in my story of my hiking injury.
I had 2 big quartz in my back pack I was carrying, as they spoke to me needing to come home and would be a part of what I will be creating in the near future. We have guesstimated them to be at least 50 lbs. So, as you can tell, I was quite determined in carrying these for miles. It didn’t even phase me, as the mind is a miraculous thing. It also officially put me into back-packer status, carrying so much and being so small.
When I fell and went into trauma shock, I asked my friends to remove the pack immediately because I needed to focus on balancing from the nausea, shock, and turning white. (I really didn’t have any pain except an initial quick impact feeling of the break that was actually pretty subtle in comparison to my last fracture, but the body reacts this way to trauma impact).
In process of balancing and readying ourselves for what was next in getting me down the mountain, I told them to leave the crystals, which Dave reiterated, as it wasn’t as important as taking care of me, being that we didn’t know the severity of things.
So they were left on the side, and I did feel this underlying sadness, but also this odd sense of continued connection that wasn’t broken.
One other friend had been carrying a quartz too and she ended up leaving as well, down further on the path, to not impede her own journey back down.
Anyway, I hadn’t forgotten them and still felt this channel of connection between them, and oddly (which I never shared with anyone) I felt like they were still with me and/or would be somehow/some way, even if it meant they’d wait for me to return later or after the Winter thaw.
So fast forward to the door opening and there they were before me with the note.
I was overwhelmed with emotion that came forth later, as I was so excited and giddy that that took over.
I then caught glimpse to the left at the bottom of the stairs, one of our friends videoing me and my reaction and knew they’d gone back to get them.
Most of my reactions were in Faery laughter and astonishment, but it was also full of exhilaration and exuberant joy and gratitude that rushed through in realizing what incredible friends I had. Like so incredible you can’t even form words except to giggle forth with joy and to form joyous tears that bubbled in my eyes later when I was hugging them over and over.
Our friends had gone back that morning on a 5 hour hike JUST to retrieve my and our other friend’s 3 crystals (likely 60+ lbs and a gift or two they found for themselves for embracing the journey of love.
BESTEST friends ever!
They also shared with us these SO SO funny videos of documenting the journey back, which had us in belly laughs. I was especially laughing at our friend’s impression of me carrying the crystals in my pack and how I was still looking around at more and saying I can carry 1 or 2 more of these babies! This was funny because they now realized just how heavy the ones I had with me were, which made my saying this hilarious as to how my determined mind took over.
This photo puts into perspective the size of just the one largest one, which is of course the heaviest too. I’m still smiling though!!
The other VERY interesting thing they noted was that where I fell was exactly at the site of the quartz field we’d been waiting to reach. Dave kept saying there was another one because he’d been on the hike before, when the girls and I had stopped at the first one we found to look around. So he was telling us not to spend time because more were on the way. We never actually saw this other site, because my injury took over focus.
Well, on their way back to retrieve the crystals they found that where I fell (marked by where we left the crystals) was exactly where they were, just up the hill from there a bit. That gave me chills in thinking of the energetics of it all at work and the alignments igniting and activating once I’d reached this area infused with more crystal vibes.
The crystals are super special and you can’t even tell the beauty of them in the photos…their amazing color – one is pinkish and the other like a golden apricot – and both have all this sparkly clear quartz infusions into the raw natural quartz rock. Amazing specimens and masterful beings!!
I’m still overwhelmed by it and also anchoring in more and more gratitude and realization that this is the new reality I have created for myself (and that is possible) where everything in it is a reflection of alignment and love…supportive energies…beautiful souls working together for a greater good….everyone mindful of and helping each other’s needs and dreams, but also supporting their own and their dreams, which brings together the highest of vibes and the power of the collective to move mountains…..or in this case to carry 60+ lbs of crystals.
It literally has to be one of the most special things I’ve ever received..and I don’t mean the crystals (although I’m in awe and gratitude of them being with me), but the gesture of true love and friendship.
These same friends also picked up my comfrey for me (it even had a Tinkerbell on the bag from the store!) and brought over some amazing organic “dragonfly” spicy black chai.
After that, our other friends arrived and I was then gifted a mini wardrobe of clothes she was moving out and thought were perfect for me and they were!
I was/am really feeling the love and I know that this is mirroring the fact that I’ve finally really anchored in taking care of myself, listening to my dreams and needs too, and balancing out that martyr energy of always giving out and never receiving – not to mention have implemented healthy boundaries. In the past receiving was hard and now it feels natural because it IS the natural flow and cycle.
You can’t just give, give, give….and you can’t just receive, receive, receive…
There is a flow of exchange to be open to and grateful for and it is all-encompassing of both being inherent in the wholeness of BEING. That is also the nature of Reiki….a harmonious circuit of flow in and out, which if blocked in any way, is the cause of challenges and dis-ease.
Yesterday was my first full outing since fracturing my foot, which included errands related to the new, a hair appointment for me, visiting my parents, and Dave getting a haircut by my mom (she has been a beautician although doesn’t do it professionally anymore since leaving her birth place, France).
I was feeling high-vibed to get a refresh on my hair, which included cut/thinning for lightness and hair getting to all silver and brown (my roots), which feels SO different and SO good. There’s constantly this recreating energy taking place to keep up with the ever-shifting energies. If I’m not naturally shape-shifting, then I’m assisting it. I also thought it was fun that my stylist styled my hair with loose spirals for a change, which felt mirroring of all the snake energy around me lately and the spiraling of the journey of life in general. I don’t ever curl my hair, as I don’t have the tools and usually just let my hair dry naturally so this was a fun update although brief.
We also got good news on this day/yesterday for something that has been in the works and took a huge turn the day before that could have gone a whole other way, but I worked with the Faeries, Buffalo energy, and did a Reiki Healing Attunement for, resulting in being told to fully trust, know what we want, and take assertive stance of our needs and the rest would be taken care of…and it was!
I’m saving that for a future post, but is something very exciting to me and going to anchor in everything further and more richly.
Lastly, I am happy to say that my book is back on track with the time off my feet and I should be able to have exciting news on that too here shortly!
We are all in this together and bringing your best “foot” forward with all of your parts together in unified alignment, sharing lots of love, joyous infusion and supportive action of your passions, and a LOT of gratitude and healthy balance supports harmony to take form in relative ways for each of us.
Yesterday was our last day, for now, in the U.S. and in East Glacier National Park, Montana, as we journey forward over the border into Canada today to Waterton Park, Alberta. There we’ll be exploring Waterton Lakes National Park at the north end of Glacier and deeper northern region of the Rockies. I couldn’t have asked for a more meaningful and magickal experience to celebrate this last day and my connection with both Joy and Nestor, as the day unfolded divinely with manifestations galore that were in support of our sacred connection and activation ritual they were guiding me to initiate here.
It was so heart and soul rich that it deserved its own blog, alongside a recap blog of this past week that is forthcoming.
Our journey led us to the Many Glacier entrance of the park on the north east side of Glacier where we were feeling drawn to do the hike to Grinnell Lake. It ended up being about a 7 1/2 mile roundtrip hike that took us past two other lakes – Swiftcurrent Lake that gorgeous Many Glacier Hotel sits on and Lake Josephine – as well as wanders through amazing vistas that take your breath away (more of those photos will be in my recap blog).
What we didn’t know was that it also had the opportunity to swing up to Hidden Falls, which proved to be a guiding force for this journey.
I’d been feeling that somewhere in Glacier would be where some of Joy’s ashes would come to rest, as she had led us to Montana (extending her physical body’s presence with us until getting there, as a pointer for me). I had always felt that Montana was an important part of this journey for some reason, and those reasons would unfold once I was there. It also happened to be a place I’d made energetic connection to 20 years ago when I passed through Glacier on the Amtrak train, coming to reconnect with the Blackfeet Indians at my touch down – more on that in the next blog.
I knew it was a place for soul retrieval and activation work, as well as collective empowerment work for the Blackfeet and more.
What I didn’t know was that Nestor would, in partnership with Joy, be a part of this. But that became more clear as the week unfolded.
Interestingly, I hadn’t been led to take Joy’s and Nestor’s ashes with us on our daily hiking adventures, except for this last day in East Glacier.
So we gently packed them up in our backpack and we were off.
I had no idea if I’d actually be spreading their ashes or not, as I would wait for the messages and guidance, and the feeling had to be just right.
This hike was such a stunning journey and I increasingly was feeling the build up of energy that was signifying to me this was going to take place…I just had to wait for the right moment and signs.
Along the way I was soul infused by the beauty that resonated so deeply with my essence and all the things I love.
About a little over half way to Grinnell Lake my first sign appeared, although it hit me with astounding clarity later.
We’d seen a couple of animal friends run across the path like chipmunks and marmots, but suddenly two deer now appeared.
The wild thing is, which seems to happen all the time with instant manifestation after intent or thought, I had literally 1 second before seeing them said in my head, “I wonder where the deer and elk are, as we haven’t seen them since West Glacier.”
Bam! Hello deer!
Two does (female deer) stepped out of the brush, literally 5 feet away from me, as I was leading the way on our hike.
They were so incredibly beautiful, delicate, and otherworldly.
I knew they were not of this world, but in it right now, as they felt and looked so cosmic – extraterrestrial in nature, combined with a human, deer, and magickal quality. Shapeshifters indeed.
Dave and I stopped and just enjoyed connecting with them.
I talked to them, as they looked at me and wandered back and forth across the path, eating and making sure we were aware that they wanted to connect and communicate. They were in no need or rush to leave us.
This lasted for quite some time and then an older couple at the other end of the path approached. They saw the deer with us and so they stopped too – the woman taking photographs, as I was.
The four of us were all peaceful and calm, mirroring these lovely creatures’ energy. And so they remained.
They continued slowly moving down the path, beckoning us to follow and so we did. They were constantly keeping in very close proximity to us, without wandering much farther away than 15 feet, then returning close by again within 5 or so feet.
Eventually we decided to move on and the other couple followed our cue.
As we passed each other, the woman said to me, “how lucky we are.”
But the man said to me, “you’re not done yet.”
The couple left and Dave and I lingered a bit more with the does, then decided to fully continue on, feeling grateful for the time they had shared with us.
They came onto the path ahead of us, as if leading us down the path and wanting us to follow again, which we did.
After a while they wandered further into the brush a bit, still wanting to connect, but then we heard a lot of noise coming up behind us. A family with young kids that were being a bit rambunctious and another couple ahead with loud bells on them to ward off bears.
I looked at the two deer and they looked at me. Their calm energy was about to be disrupted and perhaps even become distressed and scared by this energy, as I heard the family behind say, “Look there’s deer!” and were rushing forward.
I wanted to protect them.
So I said to the two does, “Hurry, go! Go hide!”
And they instantly listened and separated – one to each side of the path and went deeper into the brush so they weren’t as accessible anymore.
I said to Dave, after a while of contemplating what the man said, “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what he meant. Seems like a message that something more is to come.”
Dave said, “maybe he wasn’t just a man,” in his sort of serious joking voice.
I said, “now you’re catching on,” and I giggled.
We continued on and arrived at Grinnell Lake, crossing rivers, creeks, and passing a sign for Hidden Falls, to which I said, “we’ll go there on the way back.”
Grinnell Lake was stunning.
More of that amazing aqua water that I see all around here in Glacier because of the glacial silt that catches the sun so amazingly, a bunch of cascading waterfalls coming down the snow laced mountains, and amazing colors and textures speaking so vibrantly to all of the senses.
We spent some time connecting there, finding this perfect place to sit away from the people at the opening of the lake. It was a wood plank someone had set in between two trees, creating a little bench framed and cradled by the trees’ branches and facing the lake, mountains, and waterfalls. I loved it!
I tuned in, as I had wondered if this would be where their ashes would go, knowing that it was to be in sacred water. Visually, one would think it would have been here, but because I felt all things would be harmoniously guiding me, having the wind blowing at me so strongly, which would mean the ashes would be blown at me or washed immediately on the shore, this was indication that it was not in alignment here to do this.
I was to flow with nature, not work against it.
So, after a while we decided to head back and went back to where the sign for Hidden Falls was.
Up we climbed, passing another older couple on their way down. The woman says to me, “it’s so beautiful!”
I smiled, and said, “oh good! I’m so glad!” Feeling, hmmmm, this could be the place.
We arrived at the top and Hidden Falls was indeed beautiful and quite magickal.
So gorgeous with the green moss covered dark rocks carved by the cascading water that created an aqua pool below and was surrounded by joyous flowers and a mountain peak extending upwards from the top.
It had rained lightly on and off on this hike, and when we arrived it began to sprinkle.
There was a viewing platform to take in the waterfall, but it was away from the water and so once again, I was wondering how this could work for spreading their ashes.
Dave noted that there was a way down to some overhanging rocks, if we climbed through the wooden railings and hiked down. It seemed slick with mud and rock, so I was contemplating, especially since we weren’t fully sure the edge would drop right off to the water.
But something drew my attention to the ground just on the other side of the wooden railings where my eyes lit up and I said, “Look!! It’s a red heart! A larger version of the little red heart I found a couple of days ago and had just posted about this morning on Facebook!” The rain drops were just starting to fall upon it, revealing its true, deep red color that the water unveiled – matching my stone at home.
I’d shared that the little one had been one of many heart stones along the paths that I’ve been seeing and gifted since Joy transitioned, along with feathers – both feeling like her angelic love and presence guiding and supporting me daily.
So as soon as I saw this large red heart, I instantly said, “That’s the sign I was waiting for! This is it! This is the place!” And my hesitation about going down the cliff completely dissipated and I actually ended up being the one leading the way.
We climbed down to the rock edge above the falls and I peered over with glee seeing that in fact the ashes would go directly into the water below when thrown. Yay!
So we sat at the edge, with lovely yellow flowers between us and the falls, and I gingerly started opening the sacred boxes housing Joy’s and Nestor’s ashes.
I took out Joy’s ashes first, untying the bag that held her white essence.
I pinched a little of her loveliness and with complete joy, some weeeeeeee’s and yay’s I released her above the waters below, watching her merge with the beautiful aqua sacredness. I did this twice and each time filled with “joy” and celebration, as I said, “go beautiful Joy and do your thing!” knowing that her powerful essence would work magickal alchemy beyond what anyone could imagine in coming to rest and merge here.
After Joy’s ashes, I did the same with Nestor’s, which were a gray essence, feeling that they were meant to work and be together, as they always have been and always will. Again, with extreme “joy” I released Nestor to join in the celebration and sacred intention.
Both of their ashes not only merged with the waters below, but with the waters from the sky above as well, as some of their ashes were gently carried by the raindrops to their resting place below.
Such beautiful symbolism and the most perfect, mirroring place for both of them in these Hidden Falls surrounded by Faery magick galore! The water here would journey down and connect with Josephine Lake where we’d be journeying back along.
And it felt so perfect and light, which was a different experience from all of the times I’d spread Nestor’s ashes in other sacred areas across the globe where it was very serious, more drawn out, and included some shedding of tears most of the time.
This was the new way and my new path of harmony, joy, and ease. Not to mention the new way for us all.
Just as potent. Just as magickal. Yet I could get there by means of a different path now.
Thank you my precious partners!
I snapped a photo of this enchanted sacred place to remember it always and then we made our way back up and to the other side of the wooden railings.
Crossing the boundary back into the realm from which we’d left, now returning in renewed harmony.
We made our way down the hiking trail back to the main path and as we were walking I was saying to Dave how perfect all of it was and how meant to be, commenting on the details, the heart, the lightness of it all, and no one being around or coming near while we did this.
I finished this joyous review with a connection that suddenly hit me.
The two does we’d seen were Joy and Nestor!
That’s why they connected so much. That’s why they were so otherworldly.
They had shapeshifted or sent these deer as messengers to me, directly from them.
The second I said that, again instantly, the same two does showed up at the bottom of the trail to Hidden Falls where it meets Grinnell Lake Trail.
They had followed us all that way, or had just manifested in that moment, to confirm what I was saying and to thank me for what I had just done!
I was so excited and felt the beautiful completeness of it all.
We connected a bit, then Dave went on and I lingered slightly, then I thanked them and went on myself.
When I caught up with Dave I said, “Now it makes sense what that man was saying to me.”
The rest of the hike back I was elated and gliding along with my heart in overload.
Near the end of the trail I then looked down and saw a feather. It was a twin to the feather I’d found the day before in terms of being the same kind of feather from the same bird.
Two parts of a whole, each unique, but connected, just like my sweet Joy and Nestor.
Again, another sign and gift from Joy and Nestor together as confirmation of this joyous completion.
We got back to the car and decided to visit Many Glacier Hotel on our way out, which was just lovely (more photos to come in the upcoming recap blog). We enjoyed a refreshment there overlooking the view and I reflected on it all.
Then back in the car we went to head home to the Magick Bus and Cosmo who I was excited to go share the experience with, although I knew he was aware of it.
Just before we leave through this area of the park to get on the highway that’s when our first Black Bear shows up – again another thing we’d just mentioned earlier.
Dave had wondered why a bear hadn’t shown up yet.
I’d said to him, “One will show up when we are in need of its energy and message.”
And so I guess now was that time.
She caught my eye as we were driving and so we got out to connect more, as I was able to snap some photos of this beauty relishing on the abundance of berries in the lushness of the mountain, fully in her “joy”.
Right as we got to the edge of Browning – the town I’d stopped in 20 years ago and was taken in by the Blackfeet family – a small rainbow appeared in the clouds across the fields – the second rainbow we’d seen here in East Glacier.
The first rainbow was on our first day of arrival here when we also saw our moose friend, but now it was book-ending our time here on the last day and after this beautiful and sacred experience.
It’s hard to see it in the photo, but it is at center of the clouds in the background and was quite vibrant in person.
And for the first time, at this end of the park, a huge herd of Bison appeared in the fields in front of the rainbow and I was filled with “joy” watching the little ones running exuberantly, as their mothers playfully joined in.
I felt guided to recount my last days and what I experienced with my rabbit, Joy, through video share rather than writing a long account. It felt to be a more personal, transparent, and vulnerable way to do so, while also the way of honoring that felt most resonant. While I didn’t share every detail, it is still a long video, and is a way to express what has happened to all who have been asking, wondering, and have shared concern, a way to process more layers of my integration with it, and a way to be of assistance to others that are going through loss, as well as to help understand these natural and yet magickal cycles.
The video was shot in one succession of recount, however due to its size I was cut off during it and had to re-record immediately where I left off, multiple times. Due to that, there may be a couple of words where the videos are threaded together that are lost, but the general message should all be there and I did my best to pick back up and repeat where I left off.
I didn’t know how it would come through, nor prepared for it, so what ever was meant to I believe did.
Here is the video share from my heart:
There are a few things I wanted to add that are beautiful memories for me, which I’ll do so interspersed with some beautiful photo memories of Joy in her last days (which you’ll find at the end) and over time, here below.
I mention in the video that I knew this was coming for Joy, I just didn’t know the exact time until the day of her passing. That morning I knew she was leaving and said that to both Dave and Janet, who was still around at the time. I knew she wouldn’t make it through that day, but there were different scenarios that could play out and I was only concerned with the path of least pain for her and to honor her wishes, so going to any extent was necessary in my mind, which ended up being driving nearly 2 hours to create the alignments necessary.
But a few days before her having more issues and my taking her in for surgery, I had a dream. It was more involved than what I’ll share, but I don’t remember anything more than this.
In the dream she was a giant bunny, the same size as me. It was her, but there were also some elements of Nestor in her. I remember her taking her paws and back legs and wrapping them fully around me, and then me doing the same with my own arms and legs, leaving us in a giant embrace and snuggling one another like a big bear hug – my face immersed in her soft fur.
I felt her immense love in this human-sized hug and when I woke I knew she was wanting to let me know that she appreciated all of my efforts, that she knew I was doing all that I could, that she loved me so much, and for me to know she was preparing to leave.
So, things from there were not surprising and it was definitely no coincidence she chose a cosmic portal and full moon to bridge her journey to the beyond.
To demonstrate Joy’s ever-giving love and devotion to being of service, while she was ill, just before I was able to get her in to have surgery, I wanted to give Dave a Reiki healing attunement for things that he was going through and in the middle of the attunement, Joy hopped over and helped out. She went to his right foot and nosed him, sitting there flowing Reiki to him along with me until I was done. Something Nestor also used to do. I managed to capture a quick photo in the midst of things, as I wanted Dave to see how much she loved him and had been helping out despite her own challenges.
Another beautiful moment was after her surgery when I went in to see her to take her home and she immediately licked my hand to greet me. She is not a licker like Cosmo, as this is a new expression of affection for her of recent, so it was quite touching. Again, I knew she was thanking me for helping to ease her physical pains with the surgery and also sharing her love and happiness to see me.
I mentioned in the video that my friend Christopher, who had joined on my sacred journey to Peru last March for the Equinox, was supportive through the process…synchronously Joy had chosen to transition in Bozeman, Montana where he just so happened to live and so there was divine alignment in his being there for me, as I had been there for him in Peru, which was incredibly beautiful.
Not only was I able to stay at his house, since I had to drive an hour and 45 minutes to get her to the ER there, but he was with me when I received the news, drove me back to say goodbye to her physical body and make arrangements for her ashes, gave me a moss agate healing pendant gift that has been supportive through the process, and then continued to provide his loving friendship and connection during our days in Bozeman, which included an epic hike in honor of Joy and to send out energy to the collective through a crystal grid (more on that in an upcoming post).
I will never forget the last day I had with Joy where I stayed home with her and basically laid on the floor next to her for hours snuggling and petting her, trying to syringe feed, hydrate, and give her meds so she didn’t have pain, and playing music to her while I sang from my heart. I left her for only about 45 minutes to an hour to take a walk on the lake where we were staying, check in on Janet’s dog, Daisy, stay grounded and balanced, and to do a sound channeling, which I shared already called – Preparing the Way.
Music, sound, and singing seemed to be the theme for our last day together, as that continued on the long car ride to the ER, and has been a connective thread to our relationship over all of the years she’s been with me.
I picked up Joy’s ashes when we officially landed in Bozeman, this past Sunday and it was an emotional release again when I brought her ashes to Dave waiting in the car.
He had not been there, as we were apart when she passed, so it was emotionally unleashing for him and we shared some tears and I found myself comforting him, rather than needing the comfort myself due to my integrating the processes that have been leading up to this unfolding.
Synchronously, Joy’s doctor texted me right after I picked up her ashes. He’d called me the night of her passing and now was checking in on me and how I was doing and how Cosmo was with everything, as we had discussed him as well in our hours of talking.
He had even offered help and consulting for Cosmo if ever I needed it. He definitely was going way beyond the call of any duty, as he is truly an angel. He wanted me to continue to keep him posted about Cosmo and told me he thought I was a special soul and beyond any doctor client thing, if ever I was back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, he would love to meet and connect again, and give me another hug in person. ❤
Just a couple of days before receiving Joy’s ashes we spent an evening having refreshments on Yellowstone River, reminiscing about Joy and reviewing all of her life over sweet and funny photos and videos I have stored on my phone – the only photos I keep on my cell phone are nearly 500 photos of Joy and Cosmo. 🙂
It has definitely been a celebration and honoring of both her life and death, but mostly just about her eternally beautiful, joyous, sweet, and magnanimous soul.
I mentioned in a previous post about the special bottle pendants I had the foresight of getting to house some of the ashes of all three of my bunnies that I would keep – the rest to spread on the Earth where I felt led. Yesterday, on the day I made this video while Cosmo was in surgery, I also transferred Joy’s ashes to her bottle.
I am guided that I will be spreading the rest of both Nestor’s and Joy’s ashes somewhere. The place for Nestor is known and perhaps Joy will be with her, or somewhere else maybe in Montana since she chose this state and I’ve felt Montana was important for a while, not knowing why. I have spread Nestor’s ashes in many sacred places across the globe, but feel the journey is complete and all will come to rest somewhere shortly. The same with Joy’s.
It is time for them to both fully be released.
Joy’s passing to the otherworld is definitely the end of an era in my life and the beginning of a new one.
Here is the sweet way that Joy’s ashes were presented to me in a little flower tin marked “Joy Marie” inside a velvet bag with a card that has wildflower blooms inside of a heart to plant in her honor and quotes about the Rainbow Bridge, along with these:
…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~Khalil Gibran
Grief never ends…but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of LOVE ❤
I am grateful to have known, cherished, and been present with the depth of love and my love for Joy before separation. Separation simply reiterates its magnitude I will never lose feeling of.
I have experienced the passages of grief, coming to honor and embrace its beauty and significance and I share my vulnerability through those passages, as my testament of that love and trust continuously expanding.
Another Full Moon is upon us so quickly, once again. Indeed time is speeding up and becoming the seamless moment.
Today’s Full Moon in Virgo, balancing out Sun in Pisces, may find some of you feeling a bit out of sorts, combined with some of the other planetary placements going on. And yet, what I’ve come to embrace in my life is remembering that change can be uncomfortable, but that isn’t a gauge of things NOT working. Quite on the contrary, it reflects that things are actually in process of shifting and the degrees to which you feel discomfort or flow with them, are subject to what you deem important enough to embrace or fight.
We’re constantly being asked to have greater patience, flexibility, flow, resiliency, openness, gentleness with ourselves, and conscious awareness of aligning synchronicities that are trying to get our attention, while adjusting things to find the productive balance that reflects each given moment.
Mystic Mama shares:
“With the Sun in Pisces and the Moon in Virgo, let’s call forth a feminine softening to help us flow, grace to help us be more compassionate with ourselves and others, and healing as we gently move into our wholeness.”
This is much what I shared feeling upon returning from Iceland…this softening into a greater sense of my essence and wholeness that felt empowering.
Divine Harmony shares these things I find also especially resonating presently:
“So we are in a powerful lunar cycle territory with a focus on endings and new beginnings and how to navigate from point A to point B with as much grace, ease and humor as we possibly can…Finding that tenuous balance between action, assertion and taking a stand- and being able to be aware of others, their needs and realize that we aren’t the good ones doing everything right, while others are the bad ones doing everything wrong is key to sanity right now. The Truth lies somewhere in between and this week the journey is navigating from the head- which is judgmental, discerning and discriminating- to the heart, which is all encompassing and has both a soft Love and a fierce Love. When we can hold both of these oppositions and bring them together in a form that works together- we will find dramatic shifts in our inner lives, outer lives and relationships…The best use of this Full Moon can be about harnessing the potential for self-adjustments, inner work and healing. Virgo is the virgin, but the original meaning of the word did not mean woman who never had sex. It means woman who owned herself and was whole unto herself. So the Highest potential of this Full Moon is moving towards profound healing and wholeness– within as well as without in the form of relationships (and the key is knowing that the inner informs the outer).”
What are you experiencing? I know some have been in a bit of an upheaval, others coming out of that, and still others feeling “in the flow” and as if their life is just beginning in the way they always knew would, but felt on hold until now.
In the midst of all of this, I am indeed experiencing a greater wholeness and richness in life, while much is transitioning in and out of it. And would identify with the latter renewal sort of energy that has long felt promised by the work I was engaging throughout my life.
Cosmo, my sweet bunny companion has been one of the rich gifts showing up that has been aiding this process in my life and all those around him. His presence has helped bring extra magick to the magick already present, creating a greater completion and balance.
The dynamics simply between him and Joy demonstrate much of this profound healing, acceptance of flow, assertion of boundaries, times for soft and fierce love, personal adjustments, endings of parts of oneself, beginnings of new parts, and the seamless place the two meet that create the emerald bridge of wholeness.
All of this has directly rippled out to the rest of us in the household and has been a guiding force in how I then engage others by mirror of what this is engaging and inspiring me to embody.
While I was away I was strongly connected to both Joy and Cosmo, seeing and feeling them with me daily and reminding me of the energy they each teach me and help me to integrate. Being a Pisces, I know the challenges of balancing the Virgo and Pisces energies and this has been something that has been deepening in integration recently.
Cosmo has brought an added peace to my sometimes overhauled masculine energies. His peaceful integrated male energy has been softening and soothing for that, while also reminding me what I know about gentle strength.
And Joy’s energy and shifts in response to all of it have been mirroring my own and supporting that process, while also reminding me of how to honor what is healthy and supportive to my balanced well-being, which can then be relaxed in the mystery of feminine beingness, as a result of doing so.
A lot of this feels like the energies around this time period and Full Moon.
And it is on this Full Moon that I am so deeply happy to announce that adoption of Cosmo is moving forward officially!!!
As you remember, we’ve been fostering him, with hopes to adopt. The only factor truly was in wanting to make sure both bunnies were going to be okay with everything, as I did not want either of them to be unduly challenged by added stress that would torment them and their own paths and needs in life.
Before I went away, I felt this was coming, but while away I would receive updates on the little ones and my bond with each was deepening through our connecting via distance, edging things into greater solidifying feeling of this.
I saw how well they were doing and even with some skirmishes, it was all really healthy and balanced.
After long discussions, tuning in, and also receiving feedback from my dear Laura Bruno, who had so generously gifted me animal communication sessions with the bunnies as part of my birthday gift, it became fully clear that the time was at hand.
And so I’ve already started the process today on the Full Moon and likely by tomorrow or end of week it will all be official!
So no more will I have to refer to him at any time at the vet or in other communications, as Blizzy. He will be able to fully be Cosmo on every level, which I am so happy to know he is grateful for and appreciative of my recognizing who he REALLY is and what his name REALLY was.
So Cosmo will be a permanent part of the family. No more will I be referred to as the foster parent when I see the vet, nor will I need to receive authorization for things with him. We will be a sovereign family unit and he will have a forever, safe, loving, sacred home here where he will be honored and cherished for the soul that he is.
I am so in love with him, as I equally love my precious and amazingly brave and compassionate Joy who has offered to support him with Reiki and at the right timing will become his Reiki Master Teacher, just as Nestor has been a teacher to her, passing on her lineage.
I love all the souls in my life in animal baby bodies on Earth and beyond. There is a different connection, purpose, and relationship to each that has its perfection.
Cosmo has enriched all of our lives here in so many ways. And this team of him and Joy feels like a power duo in cultivation. Combine that with the ever-watchful and supportively guiding Nestor and Gaia and there is much magickal mischief to be had.
This official declaration feels very appropriate to my return from Iceland birthday celebrations and before embarking again to Peru. Something energetic about it bridging these energies and solidifying things feels potent.
And the commitment to this role along our shared path, as a complete soul family in every sense of the word, feels somehow balancing, integrating, and healing to the essence of who I am…and speaks to the Virgo/Pisces wholeness energy right now brought to forefront.
Feeling very celebratory these days and this is another continued and cherished birthday gift – the kind that will keep on giving!
This year has been very different for everyone, shifting even the way many of us celebrate the holidays. While distancing became the passing norm, experiences that invited our creativity became the connective new.
Although 2020 dealt a mixed bag of surprises, one of the key themes Dave and I deepened into was how precious and fragile life and every moment is. So finding ways to make the most of everything and seeing only what there was to be grateful for, kept hitting home as the important reminder.
This year saw us sharing online gatherings with friends and family afar that we otherwise never would have had so much time with.
And personally, this year saw me being able to support and connect with so many incredible souls with online classes and events, that otherwise would never have felt possible. This in turn opened me to much more expansive possibilities I once had felt the doors close on. It also helped to raise the vibrations for others that were ready to take the next leap on their journey – and that simultaneously helps the collective.
Portals are becoming more evident as the veils continue lifting. A new doorway of experience is available as the collective shifts into accelerated being. When I’m in nature, I can feel the layers of richness evolving before my eyes and the possibilities stir under the surface.
This year, while challenging for so many, has offered us an incredible fertile ground for new growth and potential. Where we may have felt freedoms infringed upon, we had the ability to deepen into the most important freedoms no one could ever take away from us – and these include the way we choose to create our reality through perception and reflection and how we experience our inner world that no one can master for us, but ourselves.
We also have always had the music of our hearts to listen to, and our imaginations where we can harness creative energy toward manifesting our hopes and dreams. These are gifts of our spirit in body where we are always free to roam and explore.
It’s one reason I feel it’s important to never lose our innocence, because it’s in that purity of curiosity, wonder, and belief, that so much is possible.
This year we have been spending the holidays on our own. It’s been a year of feeling the connection and love, despite not being with others because that is a bond that can’t be broken by distance.
Love transcends all boundaries and I know this very well with the passing of so many who have been the most dearest to me. There truly is no separation within the vortex of our heart bridges.
Usually we’d be at my parents’ home celebrating Christmas, if we aren’t away on travels. This year we are having an intimate holiday instead, which goes with the theme of our year that also included a wedding on our own.
On some level this feels important for something we have yet to see the why’s of, and even if that’s just about anchoring more into our embodiment, essence, empowerment, and new relationship to everything and everyone through the relationship we have nurtured within over 2020, then that is good enough for me.
If it’s simply to know love more through the dance of our own parts merging as one, then this feels rich with possibility for experiencing a more expansive kind of love with all of creation.
Although we are sharing a sweet Christmas at home, I did get to have a wonder-filled visit exploring my parents’ Christmas realm that is the most elaborate of all years yet.
I didn’t photograph everything, but since it’s been kind of a tradition to take you on a journey through my parents’ ever-childlike-hearts that mirror my own, I thought I’d share some peeks into their gingerbread wonderland that can warm anyone’s heart.
The photos you have seen throughout the post so far are of their creative imaginations come to life.
My parents know how to create warmth and magick all throughout the year and it’s no wonder that I have followed in their footsteps with my own sacred space, as you saw in yesterday’s share of my Wonderland room.
The next photos are of my dear Queen Astrid enjoying her Solstice, Christmas Eve, and Christmas surprises, as every Faery Rabbit Queen deserves sparkly fun to tickle her heart too.
And it’s also part of my path to share how every soul is important, has consciousness, intelligence, feelings, personality, and their own purpose in life.
I may not live any kind of conventional life, nor do I have any resemblance to that kind of family or cocreative business partnerships, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s taken me a lifetime to fully embody, in peace and transparency, my human expression of essence. And while this feels like the beginning still, it’s pure harmony to me.
My dear soul mate in rabbit body – Astrid – The Queen of this realm and my heart, keeps me on my toes, centered, focused, and balanced, while helping to channel the work that we do.
Everything I do, create, and move through me is all done with a Magick Rabbit by my side.
“Creating life as a work of art with a Magick Rabbit by my side” isn’t my motto for nothing. It’s the reality of my life. It’s who I am.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
This is me in my harmony, heart zone.
And the Winter Solstice and Christmas season is part of that harmony, heart zone…the pieces of me that are most meaningful, find ease and grace during this sparkly and enchanted season of pure potential.
Sending out magickal wishes, sprinkles of pixie dust, and bunny nose twitches of energetic potency and love!
May your hearts grow in depth and size with each embracive breath taken.
It doesn’t take much to make an impact. Small acts of kindness go along way – even farther than you’ll ever know, nor need to. A simple smile, hello, or telling someone they’re beautiful or that you appreciate them can change the course of that person’s life just when they need it most.
You might never know how your little bit of heartfelt compassion will affect someone, but doing something “just because” is where the most value is. Only the ego needs to understand the result. The higher self and heart already know the intrinsic value that goes without mention.
Just recently, as Dave’s life has shifted tremendously with his work coming to closure, he’s been exploring and discovering new parts of himself that desire an outlet of expression. Like many of us, life shifts are anchoring and taking on new meaning and so, too, has he been enjoying the organic process of how that is evolving.
It’s been heart-warming and sweet to watch Dave’s unfolding creative soul finding a new voice. And while this will continue to shift, as they always do once we embrace and take action on what is showing up in the moment, the joy he is experiencing is the same I know others are and will from what he’s putting out.
Just recently, on his own, he supported the nudge he got to start painting rocks and pieces of wood he found with simple messages and joyous images to leave on the trails we hike daily.
He was looking into buying some paints, but I told him he could just share mine. I was excited to supply him with the tools, including some inside pointers on using them and a lot of encouraging support with his idea. I happen to be working on two commissioned art projects currently, so we’re both in artsy mode, together, right now.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen him paint, let alone draw. And how sweet it was to watch!
I love what he’s created so far. He even made two rocks inspired by our rabbits, Cosmo and Joy, and some inspired by our Russian tortoise, Gaia.
He even included a bear, which is interesting because bear energy, as you might recall me sharing has been so prominent in my life this year both in the most recurring dream themes and in real-life sightings. And, just a couple of nights ago, bear returned again in an interesting unfolding that included a specific interaction with Dave – unbeknownst to him until I told him, but he’d already created the bear rock above.
So far he’s left two on a recent trail we did before the snow storm. I just had to document it for him, as you can see in these photos of him placing them for people to see along the trail.
Part of the fun, he said, is that the rocks will go to whom they are meant to be with. Being observant is part of that process and the rest is about alignment.
Some people may even just receive the message in heart, but decide to leave them there for other fellow explorers to discover as well.
It was almost like an Easter egg hunt with him placing them in different spots, except the rocks are not hidden. They are deliberate in terms of passing along a message and a smile.
I won’t say where these first ones were placed, but if you’re local to the area, you just might find one along a trail you explore.
He painted several more, some of which we’re taking with us on our upcoming road trip we’re leaving for tomorrow, so that he can place them on trails at our destination, too.
Spreading small acts of kindness through the creative heart is one way you can add a little light in someone’s life.
You might recall that while on our Magick Bus adventure, while gypsy-living in an rv for nearly two years, I started creating Magick Stones from the beautiful rock beings that spoke to me on our journeys.
I love that Dave came up with his own expression of rock art and how he wanted to share joy, peace, patience, and love with others – who knows what other messages he will add too! It’s fun seeing him having fun and letting his inner child out more and more.
I want this to be his project, but I did find just one rock that spoke to me while he was gathering rocks and wood for himself – it was a heart-shaped rock that felt important to share too.
And so I painted this stone yesterday before working on a mini wood portal painting, to add to his that we’ll be dispersing along trails on our mini vacation away.
I love the idea of merging our creative, child-like hearts.
So, yes, I’ll be away between the 12th (tomorrow) and 17th of this month, which put a short delay on sharing the new offerings I mentioned because of preparations and work I needed to get done. I’ve also been working on a couple of commissioned art projects and so my days have been full alongside enjoying snow shoeing adventures from our recent storm. I’m actually going to be doing a little fun work on this trip, as the energy of where we’re headed feels to be inspiring for both painting and idea-flow. So, there’s potential I might share a blog one time while I’m away. Otherwise, we’ll be immersing in our own personal journey this week to both celebrate and receive guidance on what’s to come.
Never underestimate the power of a simple act or expression. If your heart is nudging you to do something, do it. It could change someone’s life, including your own.
The days are getting shorter, the air is getting crisper, and the year is edging closer to end. Life is cycling through more rapidly than ever and I find my days fuller, but moving like the blink of an eye. I hardly get through things I intend to do, so it reminds me that only that which is important gets done. The rest can be let go of, which includes ideas about any of it.
Magick happens when you let go and surrender to the natural process.
Most of the time people hold tightly to things until it gets too painful to hold on anymore and/or they hit rock bottom and are then forced to let go. When the pain of this hanging on becomes bigger than the fear you have of letting go, you finally let go and allow yourself to be carried along the river of life… safely (to your surprise).
The key is in learning to let go before this happens and doing it on your own terms because you have come to trust that things have a way of working themselves out in even better ways than when you try controlling, manipulating, micro-managing, and over-analyzing them.
When you come to trust the process of life and walk that fine line of detached, unconditional intention for the highest good – without push, force, or attachment to a specific way that “must” be – then you begin to understand and experience a return to natural harmony.
Even just taking small steps of letting go will make a huge difference. When you feel you have a block or fear with this, be mindful of what part of you is afraid and ask yourself what you are afraid to let go of. There is a little boy or girl inside of each of us that just wants to be assured of knowing they are safe, loved, and that they are free to come forth in their truth because everything will be okay. It’s a process of reteaching trust.
Learning to let go to the Universe/Source/God/Goddess/Spirit/All That Is and allowing the highest good to move through you as One, really helps bring greater peace and sense of well being to your life. Your whole body relaxes and hence, stress falls away.
You can still guide yourself consciously toward an intention while you go with the flow of “what is,” simultaneously.
By taking responsibility for the life you are creating while embracing the perfection of the journey, and all the experiences that are assisting you in bigger ways than you know to bring you more fully to your wholeness.
Greater surrender and aligning with what shows up have been some of the guiding forces for me, even more these days.
And that’s been true with all of my projects, especially right now. The next couple of weeks are crunch time here, so posts will be sporadic, but I do hope to share the coming months’ and 2021 line-up of classes and gatherings soon. I’m excited about the fun in store and hope you will be too!
Interestingly, Fall and Winter has been and will be a very busy time for me. There’s a feeling of internal instinct to keep reaching for the sunlight, like a plant excited to unfurl its leaves and blooms and take advantage of every bit of daylight possible.
This translates to me as alignment. Not a contrived drive, but a sense of internal aligning being guided by that synergy of relationship to all energies and factors presenting themselves.
Life, more and more, is unfolding in a way that makes sense without needing to. It feels good.
And what also feels good is that we’ve been back to daily nature exercise. The smoke-free air supports heavier activity, so my body is happy and nights are filled with deep sleep. Although my to-do lists incrementally decrease, I still manage to get a lot done.
I’m so enjoying the garden right now – maybe even more so than Summer. It’s been exceptionally beautiful with all of the late wildflower blooms that seem to be taking us right up to the door of Winter, as the plants and buds continue to reach for the light.
This feels to mirror all of the added energy and momentum bubbling and flowing from me when this could have been an otherwise quiet time.
After our big outdoor activities this weekend I managed to plant all 150 tulip and daffodil bulbs on Saturday (11 in the side garden and 139 in the front yard) and cleared away all the current old growth on Sunday, to prep for the seasons – all preceded and concluded by some online work and organizing around the house. I’ll have to do another round of yard/garden clearing when everything else finishes its cycle, but I wanted to get a head start. Long days in the garden after exercising made for some good muscle toning and grounded balance for all that is going on and percolating on the other fronts.
Grounding helps us to stay balanced and supports manifestation. If you’re focused a lot on expansion, making changes, and doing amplified spiritual or visualization work, grounding yourself will help to actualize things and to stay healthy without blowing out your energy. If you feel spacey, distracted, unable to concentrate, have anxiety, or are caught up in a lot of external drama, you may in fact be in need of and benefit from grounding.
On Thursday, sweet Hope made another reappearance and while she sat under the bushes, we hung out together in conversation for about fifteen minutes.
Her both grounded and other worldly presence right now feels very supportive and with the sun streaming through to her, lighting her eye aglow, there was a cosmic essence to our connection.
This continued with seeing Astrid, not long after, with rainbow light highlighting her face and ear.
The way it was drawn from the corner of her eye reminded me of Egyptian energy, and I loved her ears and nose getting a rainbow boost too.
Egyptian frequencies have been flickering in the background, speaking to some ancient rooting emerging through the now and creating a bird-crumb path to follow.
Cosmic energy has been on high, and I just remembered a dream last night that involved a large, human-sized, crystal skull. In the dream I was in a foreign place surrounded by water where the crystal skull (very cosmic, animated and illuminated in blue light) had arrived via some people that currently had her. My sense was that she didn’t resonate with the people and they had taken her temporarily from others to try to extract something. She proceeded to converse with me telepathically and what I remember her saying is that she had birthed two children/beings. These beings were twin energy and that I was one of them. That’s all that is clear right now. I’m ruminating on that.
Yesterday I found a large raven wing feather on the bike path we were traveling. Then, raven physically showed up near the end, guiding me down the path ahead and circling back to stay with me and make sure I followed.
Lately I’ve been finding owl, hawk, osprey, goose, and smaller bird feathers like Steller’s jay, woodpecker, and robin, but I haven’t found raven for quite some time. Their shamanic gifts are plentiful and indeed speak to cosmic energies afoot. Here are some links about their symbolism:
Raven is a harbinger of cosmic secrets and bearer of magical forces. It is regarded as a divine messenger that reveals omens and foretells the future. It is a keeper as well as a communicator of deep mysteries. The Raven is symbolic of powerful wisdom, vast knowledge, great mental clarity and high energy.
Also, the Raven totem is the keeper of synchronicity. He is a master of bending and folding time and space. Therefore, you are precisely at the right moment at the right time…Whenever Raven’s meaning appears in your life, fantastic magic is imminent. The Raven symbolism also brings messages of transition, change, and healing because of its ability to cast light into the darkness. When this happens, make sure that you are well-grounded and have faith in your journey. This birds’ magic will guide you through.
And as my dear friend Mari has shared before, “Raven travels in the ethers to retrieve what is hidden and brings it into the light.”
What is coming to light has yet to fully be seen by all of us, yet much is being revealed these days. The interesting thing always to observe is how everyone has their own filtering mechanisms and therefore create many story versions that support what feels comfortable to them – THEIR TRUTH.
The key for me is that there are many versions relative to each and I honor everyone’s choice to express that, and amidst all of it I must find the version that feels most aligned to MY heart and purpose.
Time is an interesting experience right now where it can both seem fleeting and extended. The space between timelines is potent and in any moment we may be jumping them even without knowing, as we switch gears in our lives and amplify new changes. It’s a very alchemical time period where subtle, but profound experiences are plentiful.
Themes seem to keep repeating themselves, which is why guidance has me blogging on them consistently, but spiraling at different degrees of understanding and implementation in order to penetrate the layers.
I still feel that the emotional and subconscious layers are the least traversed, and the mental or physical are clearly being exasperated. I think it’s wonderful to explore the mind and expand thought, as well as to think in visionary ways of all the possibilities. I also think it’s great to act upon things. Yet, I also am wary about how that romance of mental stretching and reactive action can intoxicate and deter from feeling and anchoring more lasting, far-reaching results. Spiritual bypassing feels to still outweigh authentic spirituality, which for me would involve funneling it through all of our senses so that we can live as integrated beings experiencing the richness of our gifts as spirit in body.
What ever the case may be and where ever we find ourselves on the spectrum of experience and timelines, it feels evident that a large-scale collective transformation is in motion of bringing forth exactly what is purposeful.
NAVIGATING THE INNER LANDSCAPES ~ INTUITIVE ENERGY GUIDE, TANIA MARIE
ALL SESSIONS NOW CLOSED
I offer Intuitive Energy Guidance Sessions by phone for people who are wanting to make bigger and lasting shifts in their lives. These sessions are similar to what you may know as life coaching or spiritual counseling, but I’m known to be more of a catalyst for inspiration and change with a passion for helping you to recognize your own mastery and live your most optimal life.
These are one-on-one clarity sessions customized to your unique needs to help you to experience greater synergy and momentum from the inside out.
During our alchemical conversations we will focus on authentic embodiment and grounding so that spirituality, creativity, and inspiration can manifest as greater abundance in all areas of your life. This is what I call being in alignment.
A few favorite quotes people have shared about their experiences with me include:
“You make people feel good about themselves.”
“You know, Tania, the longer I know you, the more the magical/incredible/extraordinary begins to feel perfectly normal.”
“I didn’t realize it until now, but literally everything in my life has changed in amazing ways since first I started working with you.”
After working with people over the years, I’ve come to know and optimize my strengths and gifts in ways that reflect to others their own. I believe we each have unique super powers and I hope to help you to recognize and tap more into yours.
Working with me is not meant to be a psychic reading or quick-fix, nor do I want to create the experience of a temporary tonic. I want to help you to create the consistent, thriving life you deserve, while identifying processes to help you navigate new terrain.
I choose not to enable people, but to empower them. That said, changes can happen as quickly as you’re ready for.
Although you may have a specific area you’d like to focus on, my strengths are to help you identify the root of things and to clear and rebuild a new foundation for your garden of life to grow and blossom in.
My specialty is in navigating the inner landscapes and working with your inner child – essentials in my opinion and far too often overlooked – so that you can experience the reflection of these shifts in your outer world.
This could include:
- uncovering and clearing blocks
- understanding and harnessing fears
- identifying and changing limiting patterns and beliefs
- doing the core work
- reflecting greater clarity
- cultivating creativity
- bringing forth your playful spirit
- nurturing self love
- developing inner trust
- recognizing spiritual bypassing
- taking action with greater confidence toward the things you want
- conscious manifesting
- identifying steps toward goals
- understanding shadow aspects and how to use them productively
- exploring non-duality to help transcend boundaries and attachments
- working through challenging emotions, experiences, and/or relationships
- living more from essence
- embracing your gifts
- living life with a greater sense of purpose, inspiration, passion, excitement, and experience of the magick you’ve been missing
What I provide is Intuitive Energy Guidance in an optimal, safe, nurturing environment, which is not only support with the intent and goal you bring to the table, practical tools, exploration into your hidden truths, and shadow, but also may include energetic support during and in between our conversations (if you have more than one session) to help you make shifts in the way that mirror your commitment level. This I do through Reiki and any other channels I feel guided to include.
You also receive email support in between sessions to help you process and integrate. This may include short things you feel important to share that have come up after processing the session, quick clarifying questions, or my checking in on how you’re doing.
I am a mirror that reveals truths – both what you would and wouldn’t want to see – with compassionate responsibility. If that is something you are willing to embrace and take responsibility in, then this may be for you.
It’s an equal partnership of showing up with openness, vulnerability, transparency, and a willingness to look at and embrace what your spirit is wanting to reveal to help your evolution.
To begin, I like for my clients to provide me an idea of the focus they are wanting to work on. Of course, this can shift and open up into more once the dialogue begins, but in general, what would you say the theme of support is that you are looking for help with?
A lot of the work and shifts are about the process, which takes place as we dialogue and exchange. This can seem subtle at times, but the tiniest tweaks and discoveries can create profound and lasting changes.
My goal is to help you to move through things as gracefully and efficiently as possible so you feel freer and ready to create the new.
It is not my goal to have you stuck in an endless process of sessions. I want to see you empowered and feeling invigorated and supported to move forward, take action, and learn to trust yourself.
So we will be checking in to see where you’re at with things and establishing goals, as you move into a place of more empowered self-reliance and independence.
“More than 2 years ago I read the book ‘Women that run with the wolves’ and while searching for tattoos about a goddess from the book I found Tania’s drawings and I decided to write her. There was something, like a magnet, pulling me to write her, even though I’ve already discovered she no longer was doing intuitive tattoo design. She replied in less than one day and we had a lot of flow in our connection. I was so curious to know why she appeared in my life and I was about to find out ( actually I still am). After talking with her I decided I want to try a Reiki attunement session, I was eager in getting to know her through what she was offering at that time. I didn’t know much about Reiki and also had my doubts around it ( at that point). As I was in Europe, we had a distance session and I remember setting up the alarm, in case that I don’t feel anything, to sit until the alarm rings, instead of checking my phone for the time left. I am smiling right now as I still talk about that session to people. There were a lot of sensations in my body and a lot of visualization, tears, warmth, coldness, I even saw some of the crystals she was working with. Very powerful for me and I also think that it was a turning point in my life for the path of my healing. I will not get into more details, yet what I want to share is that I also ordered a magick wand set with the same intentions that we had for the Reiki sessions ( self love and love). I have more than 1 year and a half since I stopped drinking alcohol and more than 1 year I’ve stopped smoking cigarettes. I am out from a very toxic relationship that got me in a place of deep pain for soon to be 1 year and I’ve also healed a lot of the wound and I would say that the 1-on-1 email sessions on intuitive training that I had with Tania this year contributed a lot to stay on my path and learn to commit to loving myself in healthier ways. The Reiki session meant so much in my life that as soon as Tania opened up this year for new sessions, I had my second Attunement and now I am also training with her to become a Reiki Master. Tania is one of the most important people in my life. I found her when I was lost, I had no hope for love, I was in deep pain. She was there anytime I’ve asked for support in the most loving and kind way possible. I see her as an angel, she was there when I felt alone and she had a big contribution in my healing path. I am still healing, there still is more to do, yet I am no longer in that dark place. I now have hope and trust and also see a lot of changes in myself. I am learning each day to love myself, to become a better person for myself, for the people around me and for this world. Thank you Tania for all the support and kindness you have in your heart. When I ‘grow up’ I wish I will be able to hold space for others with the same grace and love you do. I love you always!” ~ Silvia Pavalache, Romania
“I’m so grateful to you Tania for being here for me. You helped support me in coming through literal light years with so much! I’m continuing to grow rapidly- shedding layers and shifting into energies that are so much higher in vibration. It just means so much to me! I’m really doing wonderful! So proud of myself! I mean…Just the triumph of overcoming anorexia! Tania, I feel normal now! I feared I’d never experience feeling normal again in relationship to food. Yet here I am! I feel sooooo good! Thank you so much for your love and most of all, truly seeing me, and understanding….never judging. It seems nearly impossible to express how grateful I am for you and your beautiful words, insights, and guidance- all of which was in perfect harmony and powerful resonance with my heart and soul. Not only for everything you shared and wrote to me, but also and equally because I have felt so much support and connection to you/from you – so much energy moving through me, shifting/releasing…. I am already feeling more whole, comfortable in my body/skin, heart, mind, soul….so much more peaceful and strong-more EVERYTHING that I was hoping for! Surrendering to it, has been so easy. Just thinking of you, opens me up. I haven’t felt this light inside for so long….I feel all this ‘space’, it’s absolutely heavenly- and where there were blocks that energy is now flowing through…I feel so good! You are so incredible Tania! Your guidance has helped me move rapidly through A LOT. Powerful shifts. I feel empowered working with you, as I navigate and move through all of this, I feel a flow in my life like never before beginning, and it is magical! I am growing leaps and bounds! I am so peaceful with where I am now! It’s like a whole new life! It’s so… almost surreal, but very rooted and real. Realer than anything I have felt in a very long time!” ~ Desiree Bergeron, Vermont
“Tania has been a dedicated, nurturing, steady, and creative partner of support for me through her intuitive coaching and Reiki healing sessions. I was so fortunate to connect with Tania for powerful assistance in moving through a crossroads and major life transition. Her special way of seeing, mirroring, and compassionately working with me helped to identify and move me past old patterns, beliefs and blocks. I was able to plant new seeds on clear ground for goals I had in mind. I saw my true essence emerge and I am able to move forward with a lightness, creativity and much more confidence. Getting in touch with my soul essence through her strongly reflective, intuitive way was a phenomenal experience and gift, and for that I’m truly grateful. I would highly recommend seeking Tania’s assistance should you want a focused, nurturing, steady partner and guide to greater healing. What a joy she is!” ~Theresa Huff, Reiki Master Teacher & Yoga Instructor
“I’ve spent the past five Wednesdays with Tania doing Energy Guidance sessions. I felt so at home with her during our time together and had no problem opening up about my fears, as well as talking about past issues that have been holding me back from living my life. I’ve tried many things over the years to help move myself forward, but not as quickly as I did in the five sessions with Tania. Tania is very knowledgeable and has many tools in her “tool belt”, and she gave me many tools to use to help propel me forward. I am forever grateful, as I’ll have these to use for the rest of my life. I understand myself so much better now and feel so grounded since our work together. Much love and appreciation Tania. xoxo Kathleen, Irvine, CA
“I made a request for a boost up attunement and counseling sessions with Tania and I must say that the one month that we worked together brought forth powerful healing and awareness within my life. What I appreciated most with her was the gentle way with which she explored issues with me as well as the intuitive help I kept on receiving from her during the sessions. It was pleasant really feeling the unconditional acceptance that represented each session, which was an added bonus. I feel I grew up a lot during our work together and she is definitely a Spiritual Master I would love to reconnect with for additional services in the future. Sweet energy, great spiritual wisdom. Thank you so much for having helped me attain the growth level I have reached at the moment.” ~Vidushi, Curepipe, Mauritius – now currently Montreal, Quebec
“Tania has been and still is a very important person in my life. She has helped me move through some very difficult times and beautiful times in my life. Her guidance and support is so deeply meaningful and loving. I have learned many new ways of thinking, shifting energy, and how to love unconditionally. She has supported and empowered me with guidance that I know has changed my life in great ways. I’m very grateful to know her and appreciate how comfortable and safe I feel with her. Thank you Tania.” ~Nikki Sanchez, Costa Mesa, CA
“Hi Tania, just got off the phone with you and wow, I am soaking in the information and the experience. I was not sure how the session would go and quite frankly I was a bit apprehensive since I was not really sure what it was all about. I am not familiar with this type of method of counsel and it really blew me away. As you know, I am going through a rough patch and having that confirmed and hearing that indeed my realities are exactly what I am experiencing was very therapeutic for me. I am a private person and the fact my story and my inner and deep feelings were revealed through your insightful words allowed me to embrace my realities and essentially accept them. As a complete stranger, I felt connected to you… like old friends but with the bonus of having an enhanced and guided analysis into how to work on my inner self and what mechanisms to utilize in this journey we call life. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I thank the universe for connecting me with you. You are without a doubt a positive and mystic soul. Stay blessed!” ~Noreen Zayna Barlas, Thompson, Manitoba, Canada
If this feels like the right partnership for you, you can make your enriching investment in you, here, and we’ll begin creating some impactful shifts to help you experience a life of greater fulfillment.
Below you’ll find the Paypal options, but I also accept Venmo. For Venmo, please contact me.
I’M NOW OFFERING 2 PHONE SESSION OPTIONS:
One Hour Phone Session w/o Reiki
We’ll share an in-depth phone call that focuses on your intents for our work together in a safe space. Includes email support if needed to clarify, check in, offer practical tools, and to help integrate.
One Hour Optimizing Phone Session w/Reiki Healing Attunement
Receive one hour of guidance followed by a Reiki Healing Attunement scheduled after the call to support aligned changes with what you’re intending, at the core. Includes email support if needed to clarify, check in, offer practical tools, and to help integrate.
Due to requests I’ve put together phone session packages, which provide savings. If you don’t see an option that resonates, please contact me to discuss what would support your needs best.
Occasionally I run specials – so you may want to subscribe to my blog to receive notice, as I share them in blog updates, or you can follow along on Instagram or Facebook.
If you have any questions or want to set up your first session, please contact me here:
PHONE SESSION BUNDLES
Phone sessions are the most comprehensive. All phone sessions do start off with an email to flush out the focus and will include a follow-up email where I will include “homework” in the form of meditations, steps, and things to focus on to continue your work and create accountability. The follow-up can also include any question that might pop up after our call for clarification. I like to not take up calls with these things, so that we can focus right in and make the most of our time together. I may also be doing energy work to include Reiki, crystal, and other forms previous to a call to prepare and get things in motion. Sometimes I’ll do the energy work after the call. At all times, however, I’m energetically moving things as well.
3 Pack of One Hour Phone Sessions w/o Reiki
Save $90 off 3 regular priced One Hour Phone Sessions (or over 1/2 of a session free)
5 Pack of One Hour Phone Sessions w/o Reiki
Save $175 (or the equivalent of 1 session free)
8 Pack of One Hour Phone Sessions w/o Reiki
Save $265 (or over 1 1/2 sessions free)
3 Pack of One Hour Optimizing Phone Sessions w/Reiki Healing Attunement
Save $113 (or one session for ½ off)
5 Pack of One Hour Optimizing Phone Sessions w/Reiki Healing Attunement
Save $226 (or one session free)
8 Pack of One Hour Optimizing Phone Sessions w/Reiki Healing Attunement
Save $339 (or one and a ½ sessions for free)
STAND-ALONE REIKI HEALING ATTUNEMENT:
This option does not include a phone session. I’ll just need you to share with me the intents you have for it via email. Concentrated support on any and all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Ideal for that extra boost in the midst of change, support greater alignment (being in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing) and ability to see the opportunities, help you to gain greater clarity in general, promote growth and integrative healing, support courage and peace, stimulate and ignite greater creativity, inspire breakthroughs, help reveal and clear blocks, dissolve energetic resistance, support you to start building new, more authentic patterns, assist with opening opportunity doors and manifesting desired experiences, while adding increased magick to your current trajectory. In a Reiki Healing Attunement the Higher Self is allowed more of an “active” role in the process of achieving goals and brings about the highest good for all concerned. Reiki Healing Attunements seem a natural fit to support rebalancing and to help move through the changes we are presently facing with more ease and grace, if you so choose to embrace the process that is involved with that. I find Reiki to be one of the channels that supports us to “be” the love of the New Earth experience and a way to help spread that energy of loving service to others.
1 Reiki Healing Attunement
Just as with phone sessions, a day and time will be set up by email for conscious co-partnering in this sacred process that takes place by distance
TESTIMONIAL: “I experienced several life ascending breakthroughs while working with Tania as my energy guide. Her understanding presence and vast abilities to support me with her very real, extensive knowledge and unique healing gifts, were pivotal to my growth. Tania led me straight to my own personal power, strength, and my heart’s flow, which continues to this day – an anchored, rich, harmonious expansion of my true soul’s highest self-expression.” Desiree Bergeron, Vermont
I no longer offer email support, alone. However, if you have specific needs that this would be more suitable for, or are internationally based and other options don’t work for a phone session, please CONTACT ME to discuss.
I believe that everything we need to know is right within us – our bodies are the perfect best friend we never thought we would ever have, but divinely designed in reflection of exactly what we need. Whether our bodies operate in the way our egos desire or not, they are a miracle.
Cultivating body wisdom is an intuitive guide to understanding ourselves. Just like you can look at sky maps of the stars, planets and constellations, we can also consider our body a map of the interrelationship of the universe within and how everything is connected.
The body helps us to ground the creative life force energy that we are, into form, and provides the channel to convert energy into actions.
Everyone has a very different journey and trajectory in terms of how they will convert energy into action. However this has manifested is still in divine perfection regardless of how we judge it with our egos. This can be more challenging to embrace, if in fact we have some type of disability or limitation with the body or we dislike it in some way because we judge it against others.
Yet, it is always enough. It is always worthy. And it is more than adequate because it is a manifestation of creation with divine design in mind.
I feel that an illness, challenge, disease, etc. are ways of experiencing – not a punishment, but an act of experience. Everything can be viewed in terms of energy wanting to be experienced and there are unlimited creative ways for this to manifest as. There is no right or wrong about it.
Form is temporary, like in nature, and eventually will pass away. It goes through cycles that transform it and it only disappoints us if we hold tight to desiring it to be or look another way.
Experience lives on in infinite ways and creates eternally.
The body is our vehicle in life for what we came on Earth to do and the heart, spirit and mind work in unison as the driver.
Like every vehicle, our bodies need regular maintenance, care, nourishing fuel and good treatment (inside and out).
This is especially important at this time in human evolution where everything in the world is heightened in the most extreme ways, which takes a toll on our bodies, drains the emotions, strains the mind, and can temporarily put a damper on spirit when all of the other parts are processing and integrating all of it.
Even though spirit understands a grander alignment, the other parts of us are needing to catch up and doing all that we can to supply our bodies, emotions and minds with nurturing things, will help us stay strong and in flow with the experience spirit has set up for us.
This is why finding ways to create peace, time outs, doing something enjoyable or luxuriating in some way, and refocusing yourself at the center of your heart become vital. And there isn’t just one way to do this, since we all have different lives, likes, passions, and ways of experiencing things.
For me, I’ve found some of the greatest ways to restore vitality have to do with clearing my mind (getting things on paper and creating manageable daily schedules), creating a time-out-of-time space for myself (even if just for minutes), immersing in the natural world (the surrounding wild nature, my garden, soaking in the sun’s rays, spending time with Astrid and the kitty babies, making flower arrangements for the home), doing small relaxing or pleasurable things like tea time, daily home spa nights while watching a movie or series, letting go, having gratitude, laughing and being silly, establishing days off, and saying “no.”
These have all helped me create greater balance too, but the biggest thing I’ve found helpful for my body has been physical exercise that allows me to enjoy the outdoors and peace and quiet at the same time. This combined with a lifestyle daily intermittent fasting and even more sleep than I already usually get, help to physically integrate the fast changes we’re going through as humans right now.
Even if we can’t do physical exercise, just being outdoors or bringing nature indoors to you can have a profound effect.
For me personally, I’ve seen a huge difference in how my body performs and how some physical imbalances have all harmonized through finding the right fit of activity that integrates who I am and the energies I came to experience.
I mentioned in a recent post about a sudden accelerated level of endurance and speed in my hiking and biking activities.
But I’ve experienced many other physical shifts too. My years of mild, sporadic hypoglycemia has completely subsided, my EIB (exercise-induced bronchoconstriction), which for me is non-asthma related, has disappeared, peri-menopausal hormonal shifts have balanced out on their own so that I no longer take any herbal supplements to support (I actually don’t take any vitamins other than B12 or extra doses of Vitamin C in intervals), my adrenal glands experience consistent happiness, without trying my body dropped extra grounding weight it no longer deemed necessary to keep me integrated, and there’s a more consistent level of energy in me.
Getting outdoors and moving the body in what ever way we’re able, really does the mind heart and spirit good as well. Or at least moving creative energy through you in some way, relative to you, can help free up the blocks. The goal being, not to let energy sit stagnant. And the key being, use your creativity to be creative in finding ways that are perfect to your experience.
I wasn’t always this active, and it’s ironic that as I’ve gotten older, my physical activities have grown exponentially. It’s never too late to start caring for your body and taking on new activities. Our bodies are our vehicles in life and to the extent we are able to go that extra mile for it, it will for us too.
I’ve found that my experience requires me to both be creative AND to be physical. That’s just how my energy is set up – it’s in my astrological chart. And my body actually needs more than most people, otherwise the energy will turn on me and rage from the inside out in various forms.
At 47 1/2 I feel the healthiest, most balanced, and in the best shape of my life (so far) and do the most things physically than I’ve ever done. It didn’t happen overnight, and I didn’t even know how it would happen, but with committed effort to make inner changes in my life, open my heart deeper, and release the internalized anxiety and acidic kind of stress build-up I once used to feel – things have continued to transform and come together with more synergy. (Having Astrid in my life, just might help too). Rather than having compartmentalized experiences, I’m learning to merge life as one stream of experience.
It’s interesting because I was in complete embrace and peace with all the different things I used to experience, feeling relief I understood why and knowing how I could make adjustments to still do what I wanted to the extent that worked for me.
Creating peace around things is a perfect companion for the potential of change to happen naturally.
The energy around these three Eclipses seemed to also provide a doorway to activate more of this, and while I immersed in things like greater outdoor activities, an elevated surge of energy was able to course through my body. Astrid actually also has been experiencing a surge of energy in recent days. 🙂
It was surprising, for me, because although I have been doing a lot of natural exercise, things went to a whole new level I didn’t realize it would.
It feels like the years of trying to figure out how to harness the productive energies of my Mars placement in the first house is finally coming to fruition – organically.
So again, as I said, we each have different energy experiences we came in to have and for me this really is supporting the balance for my body.
That said, it still is vital to do self-care in your own way and some sort of body integration or physical activity to move energy is really supportive for everything we’re all going through.
So much old stuff, trauma, pain, wounds, beliefs, etc. are being loosened to the surface. So many very distinctly contrasting energies are circulating. And this can get trapped inside of us if we aren’t in some way able to move it through the body and “shake it off”.
Time-outs are increasingly important even if just five minutes of full shut down from everything to unplug and feel the power of silence.
I took a long three-day weekend off over 4th of July since Dave had Friday off of work and we decided to find our own bit of peace even amidst a busy weekend. Although this 4th of July wasn’t as crowded as past years, we still like to do our own thing. Fireworks were also banned this year so it was overall much more quiet.
We decided to fill each day with tons of nature and exercise for well being. That included ways to get out and away from everyone or to just be passing through while in motion.
This involved a long 12-mile hike on Friday, a more moderate 11-mile bike ride on Saturday, and ended with our longest-to-date bike ride on Sunday of 37 1/4 miles. The last time I attempted a 33 mile bike ride, the last half was very uncomfortable with my butt and back feeling sore and energy slowing. This time I didn’t experience any of that. In fact, not from any of the activities we did back-to-back did I have pains or soreness from and I even went above and beyond from day one, as you’ll see.
We definitely got some great physical strengthening in, soaked up immune system building pine air, and enjoyed good sleep from all the high vibes.
I want to circle back to the 12 mile hike, which was a retracing of our steps from nearly three years ago. That was the last time we did this hike to Star Lake and you may remember that story and what unfolded from my share in September of 2017, Made of Stardust.
We’ve been talking about returning and this time we decided to do it as an out and back trip rather than a shuttle adventure, like we did then with the group we were with. It was 13 miles the way we did it last time, but by doing it this way, it cut one mile off. Doing it this way also involved much more climbing than the previous time, with a cumulative elevation gain of over 2400 feet over the course of the mileage. The highest point you arrive at is 9600 feet with Star Lake sitting just over 9000 feet.
My intention with this hike, besides wanting to return to this beautiful lake I love the name of, was to integrate and harmonize 2017’s adventure that ended with me having a broken foot. Although that was perfectly in alignment with my writing goals at the time, I felt facing the trail again as the person I am today would be a powerful activation, as well as a way to overcome any trepidation that past experiences can potentially create.
And it was.
Not only is the mountain charged with such powerful energy around this spot, but I found some interesting things show up in a couple of photos, like the odd rainbow energy just above this snow patch in the trees to the right of the middle rock.
And the light creating some kind of gateway anchoring each side of this creek.
Before I went I was getting from Astrid that there were more raw quartz in mind for us that were up there to retrieve. She was right, as I found 3 that spoke to me and received blessing on using for our Earth-grid here.
I deliberately took the same backpack I had last time, which isn’t the greatest in terms of carrying things (material and without a waist strap to shift weight to your waste instead of your shoulders), but very light and roomy.
Not only did I carry these wonderful crystalline beings for half of the 12 miles on my own, but I’m happy to report no injury and my newfound strength and endurance had me capable of completing our hike in great time. I also never once had my EIB coughing that always would happen when I was doing strenuous uphill climbing and even with the added 27.4 pounds on my shoulders (yes we weighed them), I was able to do the elevation climbing without falling behind Dave. He remarked later that this is the exact weight of his mountain bike and how crazy that sounds to have basically carried his bike 6 miles. I had to agree.
I had to swing the backpack up my back so that I could carry most of the weight in my arms by holding the straps, but it worked.
I was amazed at the physical changes, as these are things I would not have imagined me doing, especially given my EIB.
But I’m happy that I did things the way I did so that I was able to actually experience the profoundness of how much things have transformed. It’s not something I need to repeat, yet it demonstrated what is possible.
I think I’m actually turning into the mountain goat I’m meant to be – I say that due to all my Capricorn energy.
And I believe I’ve found my way to move all of that deeper energy, emotion, and stored trauma up and out – my way of “shaking it off”.
That day also happened to be the day before 4th of July, which is the 9 year anniversary of my grandpa’s transition – he died at 96. I had a very special relationship and connection with him, despite his living in the south of France where my mom and her family are from. We would spend special time together on his long visits (sometimes a year) and we had a special bond. He is the one who helped cultivate my artistic gifts, as he would sit with me on his lap drawing for hours when I was a little girl and so I am grateful for his nurturing the artist in me and for seeing the value in that. He never wanted me to stop creating.
Creativity is connected with the importance of moving energy through the body in various forms. Our creative life force wants to be experienced and if we shut it down we can experience blocks and challenges. So, in fact, my grandpa was nurturing the importance of this from the start.
And being at Star Lake was also a perfect place for reflection on things to include my grandpa in the stars now as my guide. Perhaps he even showed up in a dance of starlight in the lake.
It’s especially meaningful that I wear his wedding band as my own, knowing he is with me even more along this new journey. Everything he stood for I carry forth through my own embodiment, in my own unique way.
He loved to draw, spend time in the garden, loved animals, loved to laugh, and had his own strong connection to his beliefs. Although more religiously based than my organic spirituality, he was giving, full of gratitude, and loved his family.
I know he is happy and proud seeing me as I am today and would have tears of joy for this union, knowing I wear what was so meaningful to him – a way to honor his bond of love with my grandma and the cycles of life meant to continue and expand further.
In many ways, during uncertain times, I feel I am rewriting my story and as I do, it is rewriting a lineage of stories.
As we each do this, we collectively ignite something different for the future.
And as we each do this, let us not forget our bodies – physical and emotional bodies – while we progress forward with our minds. All of these parts create divine union of our spirit in motion of experience.
In order to meet the new reality we envision, integrating all that good stuff through our miracle vehicles I believe will help get us there.
No matter where you find yourself in the experience of your body, there is a perfect path only you can carve that is vital to all of us. Loving our bodies as they are right now, allows us to really embrace how energy wants to move through it.
Today always creates deeper presence for me because it was a day, twelve years ago, that I was taught the true gift of eternal being when my twin soul in rabbit body, Nestor, transitioned. Her passing was dramatic in every way, but that’s what a twin soul mirrors for you, the most resonant and most soulful depths that provide opportunity for greatest evolution.
She gifted me with expansion into knowing the true gift of life and death, the beauty in all contrasting experiences, and the alchemy of feelings. Truly too much to contain within words alone.
I thought that rather than post a photo that’s somber or brings up the past, I would celebrate Nestor with joy and how she truly ignited greater knowing of myself and how rabbits would continue to be a guiding force in my life with her as the brilliant star lighting the way.
This photo was taken in late January, actually not too far from her birth date of February 1st. We were celebrating my dear friend’s birthday and she and I dressed as bunnies. I made sure to wear a special necklace I had made to embody Nestor’s energy. It features a gray bunny, like her, with a star crystal at her third eye, surrounded by a cosmic landscape tapering into a crystal point.
She wanted me to continue on with our work and let love and inner child wonder expand within my heart, rather than allow the pain of her passing to close it and wither my life force away. She lives within and through me forever, but is free to be her expansive self without restriction.
She was with me for five extraordinary years only, but they made an ever-lasting impression that transformed my life and led me to now. This to include guiding me to each of the bunnies and my tortoise who came after her, including my life partner.
She’s promised I will never be alone physically or spiritually. I cherish Astrid because she, too, was a gift from Nestor and embodies so much of Nestor’s energy.
I’ve never been the same since she cracked open my heart.
Through death I was reborn.
Perhaps this message might be of some comfort and support in some small way as you are navigating these uncertain and challenging times. I know there has been much loss in the world and it doesn’t go without saying it brings great pain.
I just know that the greatest pain was not meant to hinder, punish, or stop life. There is alchemy within pain to know as experience – an experience that resembles the birthing of a star.