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Astrid Shares


astrid

The last week and a half has been incredible watching and experiencing Astrid’s journey and blossoming. Everything pointing to how perfectly matched we are and providing hints of the adventure ahead. She has truly stepped through a new doorway of experience with love, patience, and honoring of who she really is, which wasn’t the story many saw of her. She truly was waiting to be seen and like with everything these days…the hidden gifts await those ready to embrace them in all ways. Here’s Astrid sharing her journey this last week.

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Wow, is this for me mom? My very own magick carrot house?!

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Is it okay if I explore it?

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Just can’t believe this…it’s really mine? Normally us bunnies like things routine and the same, but I’m sure enjoying the surprises mom keeps giving me. I loved my tent house, but this one is like a bunny castle!

Okay, here I go!

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Hmmmm, spacious inside!

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Feels good so far…wow and even a back door too!

OMGOSH! There’s a ramp up to a second story too!!

Marking my house inside to make it my own. It’s a keeper!

Dad even gave me a carrot surprise to discover inside! Thanks dad!

Home sweet home…I think mom has ideas of putting a sign outside the house with my name on it. At least that’s what I heard in her thoughts. I think I’d like that.

Back to eating my breakfast…feeling happy and so loved.

Breakfast with a view….does it get any better than this? I always dreamed of bunny heaven and believed it was real. Now I’m living in it! I never gave up hope of a good life and that mom would find me. Thank you for hearing me mom and thank you to our friends near and far who helped us find each other.

I wonder what else mom has in store? Well, actually I know because I read all her thoughts and we’re so connected. I’m excited for her next surprises and grateful she knows me so well and hears my desires too.

I heard mom putting my bunny bed together and when I came back into the room there it was! It’s so beautiful and perfect! Wow! Intentions do work. Us magickal bunnies sure know how to manifest! Boy oh boy! Look at this bed…it’s like a throne…and that adorable blankie with bunnies in the cosmos! Perfect place for me to work on new dreams and help mom with hers!

A bunny bed surrounded by an enchanted forest! A place I can sit high and peer out safely, but feel so at home!? Wow!

I think I’ll try it out now. Here I go!

Feels good so far….I’m just so enchanted by these bunnies sitting in Moons and star clouds….Have to check them out first. Reminds me of home.

This is great. Fits perfect and feels just right! I feel like Goldilocks in Baby Bear’s bed, but it’s mine! From here I can even peer into my Magick Carrot House and chew it if I want while I dream. Good for processing and digesting new things, ideas, and intents!

Night has come and I’m off to sleep. Good night all!

The morning after my new house and bed arrived, I was feeling so excited and amped up I decided to explore the rest of the house I hadn’t yet. Until then I’d only explored the two bedrooms and bathrooms, but I sensed there was a whole other world on the other half of the house. I just wasn’t sure about it yet, especially since I have to cross wood floor to see what was around the other side of the couch. To my surprise I found more carpet and tons to explore! I’ve been so excited and giddy since, I go there every morning early and throughout the day at my whim. Mom took this video of me after watching me for a while. There was so much to check out. I was able to jump up on the fireplace to see mom’s Magick Crystal Wands in action (the ones I told her to get hopping on) and now I could infuse them with energy. I was able to run and jump with glee in this whole new space, jump on the couches and peer out the window (mom wasn’t quick enough to capture all that happening), got to peer out at the lake (I had heard about how Nestor, Joy, Gaia, and Cosmo had done this too), check out the hype about cat trees (after making it clear to Boojum now nothing was off limits to me either buddy, since he and Sweet Pea seemed inclined to explore my things too), and got to explore some of mom and dad’s things like this interesting space ship shaped thing that smells like them – mom tells me it’s their foot massager. Cool! Anyway, check me out checking everything out. Mom even caught on camera how cats are no match for me!

Hehe! Hi Mom! I did it! Check me out in the living room!

Okay, time to explore….first stop, mom’s wands.

Good job mom! The wands are looking great. And thanks for being so supportive and proud of me too! Feeling empowered.

Okay, one more look.

Wow, there’s the lake! I must get over there to get a closer look. Another threshold to cross….no problem!

Mom asked me how I’m liking it here in my new home and with my new family. I don’t have the human words to describe things, so I gave her some bunny language in a BIG binky for her to translate, which she caught on camera. You might even catch my feet clicking together. Hehe! I’ve never done so many hops, binkies, runs, and twists in my life. The ultimate joy for a bunny. Thank you mom. I love it all!

And then mom surprised me yet again with this! My very own Dendritic Opal. Well, I knew it was coming because I put it out there and mom did tell me that the Rose Quartz cathedral tower was just the first of two meant for me. But wow is this one also even more beautiful than I imagined. I love that mom listens to me and understands. She knows I’m a crystal bunny and these will not only help me, but will help me to help her and the collective!

Nosing it to make it mine and initiate activation and igniting!

Now for a little licking action….I love it! Kisses all over it!

Mmmmmm! I’m in heaven. More kisses and bliss. Wow, the stuff we can do together!

Mom took this video of me connecting with my new crystal friend that now sits next to the Rose Quartz on top of her Tarot chest by my realm. I couldn’t get enough of this Opal. It’s amazing! I was so excited I had to run to my bed and start initiating more dreams and intents there. I know mom will hear and together we’ll manifest tons!!

The next morning I woke mom very early, as I now do each morning. She heard me exploring and jumping and running with glee in the living room…my way of welcoming a new day and moving the energy for what’s to come! Such a beautiful view as the sun is just rising. My gosh, I wish all bunnies could experience this kind of magick. It makes me think of my friends in the shelters and rescues. I will send out some energy to them now through this Lake Tahoe portal.

I’m in such awe of this life. Pinch me!

Back to my bed I go for some more dream work. This is also a place I like to tune into mom. One ear up and one ear down, I cock my head and listen to her thoughts. This way I can help her to manifest things too. On our own we’re strong, yes, but together we are powerful!

Thank you mom, I just love it all.

What I also love, maybe one of the most of anything, is how mom truly “sees” me. She knows this is not only my bed, but she intended it as my throne because she told me I’m a royal bunny and she sees the Queen essence I carry, as well as my Cosmic self. No one has ever seen that in me. I even try to hide it because it’s not something I wanted people to know outright. I needed the right partner who would be able to look beyond everything and into the shadow to see the gifts. I am not what I appear and I’m grateful mom knows who I really am, just as I see her and more than perhaps even she knows of herself yet.

I can now live in peace, feel peace, and be peace because harmony has been restored. This means major magick is about to unfold. Dream big everyone and don’t give up. I’m going to do my part and my best to help now that I found mom. We’re committed to this path of bringing forth the reason we’ve been brought together and what’s in our hearts to share.

I love when mom holds me. She always whispers special things to me, tells me stories of what to look forward to, shares her heart with me, and gives me the sweetest most gentle love I’ve ever known. I know anything is possible and she ensures this with her encouragement and love.

 

The Magick of Astrid Begins


Astrid’s journey continues in such a positive upswing. It appears like she’s crossed one big threshold along with revealing some of her magick, and all in just 3 weeks! At first she was taking her time to really sink into things and feel safe, as well as like she could trust the situation and us. It had its ups and downs that I knew to be patient and consistent with. I figured this could take much longer, but after the first 2 weeks, she was really making some leaps and hops. Of course, consistency will need to be continued to ensure these new behaviors become embodied fully as her natural way of being, but I’ll share more about these in the rest of this blog. Nonetheless, let’s just say I’m one happy mom.

It’s understandable, given her background and conditioning that she would have the challenges she does, and also that they not only would take time to work through, but could also crop up unexpectedly just as triggers can challenge all of us until we’ve worked through the core stuff deeply and fully.

Anyway, I had decided to get Astrid her own crystal – well actually all of my crystals are hers of course, but I wanted a special one to have as hers and that I felt would be supportive for this journey. I haven’t myself been attracted to getting a Rose Quartz, but recently had felt it in my energetic field. And then one happened my way via an online auction where I won the bidding and snatched up a beautiful very pink Rose Quartz Cathedral Tower (with yellow/gold inclusions) for a 1/4 of its value! And hence, Miss Astrid worked her energies to have this beauty.

Shortly after, another Cathedral Tower found its way to me, via the same route, where I won a bid at even a bit less than a quarter of its value and got a gorgeous blue Dendritic Opal for her as well (a new find for me and attraction, which I know was about Astrid)…it’s still on its way to us, but both it and the Rose Quartz energies feel perfect for her and in assisting her with her healing and opening journey.

The Rose Quartz will infuse her and her space with Universal and unconditional love, self love, motherly and nurturing love, purification and opening of the heart, restoration of trust and harmony, deep inner healing, peace, calmness and reassurance, comforting with grief, cleansing of negative/triggering/challenging energies, and graceful energy of the Heart Chakra.

While the Dendritic Opal (sometimes referred to as Merlinite) on its way (I’ll post photos when it’s here and after she’s interacted with it) connects to all of the Chakras, its energetic emphasis and strongest resonance will be with the color of the Chakra its base color reflects. In this case the beautiful Blue will connect with the Throat and the darker areas with the Third Eye. It works a lot too with the Solar Plexus personal power energy and creativity stemming from this point of focus.

It will also focus energies on spiritual growth, conscious awareness, clarity into her actions, and brings balance into her life and balance of the feminine and masculine energies within, as a stone of harmony. It helps with discernment and acceptance, being non-judgmental,

It attracts powerful magick and good luck, stimulates deep intuition, psychic knowing, and contact with guides and teachers in the higher realms, as well as alchemists and wizards.

Dendrite means darker tree-like inclusions in the milky white areas and other areas of the Opal, which invokes strong shamanic vibes, allows access to the energy of the natural work and communication with Elementals, takes you to higher realms and deepest, darker parts and inner states (able to understand them) to allow Nature to unfold within.

It is a stone of duality, which can act as both a stone of the light AND allows the shadow and “dark nights of the soul” aspects of your higher self to come forth for transmutation.

It’s great for automatic writing too, so I’m guessing between Astrid and I, and this stone, we’ll be able to channel some interesting stuff for my book’s completion. So, yes, it seems these new stones are great for us both. She knows what to draw in and what would be best for us both, and I’m simply her channel and conduit to help bring her manifestations into being.

They definitely feel to be perfect for Astrid’s evolution and blossoming, supporting her into her full magickal self.

And this was reiterated when I placed the Rose Quartz in front of her the first time and watched her connecting with it, as seen in these photos.

Then three mornings ago I found her on top of the chest that sits by her stuff and that holds my Tarot decks and other magickal things. It also happens to be the resting place of the Rose Quartz, as I wanted it to be near her area where she could see and connect with it, but also receive its energy over her realm. In order to get to it she needs to jump over her bowls or over a very high litter box. Either way, she did somehow, and I then saw her circle around the Rose Quartz for a bit with her body and nudge it with her nose before jumping back down again. (Wish I’d gotten photos, but I had just been woken up and was too involved in watching her to think of running to get my camera)

Right after that she was completely amped up. She began racing around like crazing, running, jumping, and becoming rambunctious in a fun loving way. I heard her run into the second bathroom and knocked over the garbage can. Then she was back in our room and started digging like crazy in her litter box – something she was doing for the first time so vigorously, and started throwing all her hay out and all over and rearranging everything. LOL!

This was the mess I caught her in and she seemed to be giggling at me and with a sneaky little “uh oh!” followed by a “hehe!”

These are the photos I caught of her and she got all cutesy with her body and head down low to ground and butt up, as if she was a puppy dog that would be wagging her tail with delight. Too cute!

She was giddy for head rubs and just giddy in general. I then went back to bed after giving her some greens since I was awake now. And when I woke later, she was still all excited and when approached by Dave she did a big bunny hop with glee.

This was all after about a week of having gone through transformations already with no longer charging, grunting, and attacking at every little thing. Only the cat lunges and chasing them off continues, and being on alert and startled by odd or sudden noises and movements, but any time I approach her or do things I did before like cleaning and feeding her, she would just come to me and put her head out wanting to be pet and would immediately get comfortable and enjoy some good long rubs and back massages. She would run to me, in fact, when ever I was near, nose me, and be inquisitive. She used to knock the bowl of pellets out of my hand with a grunt or the measuring spoon I use to give her just the right amount, but now she’s good with it all and isn’t in defensive mode.

However, she is still the little power bunny guardian and Queen of the realm here and although Boojum, our male cat, persists in his hopes to be buddies with her like he felt he was with Joy 🙂 she is keeping him at bay and working her boundaries. Astrid isn’t so sure yet, as he’ll definitely have to earn her trust and still, I sense she will be helping to keep him in line by setting the rules and boundaries for him to honor or be met with her energy that seems quite scary to both him and Sweet Pea, our female cat. Both cats seem very curious about her and are found often just watching her constantly, yet if they try to do anything she’s not comfortable with, you’ll find a cat sent off running fast!

Boojum doesn’t give up though and constantly sits near, watching and waiting. This was a capture from a few mornings ago of Astrid letting him hang out a little bit, at a distance, but as you can see she was on patrol alert.

That said, she is starting to get used to knowing I won’t hurt her (this is from her past conditioning as a bunny in this life and not as the spirit she really is), as she likely had experienced much of both directly and indirectly in her past. She also lets me pick her up while just sitting there letting me. No trying to get away or wiggle, which if I had experienced would have halted me from continuing further.

And little by little her magickal self has begun to be less and less hidden, but more apparent, not to mention her similarities to my dear Nestor are starting to reveal themselves more. Astrid (or Astie as I lovingly call her) definitely feels like a very close comrade to Nestie – and when I say that I mean in the Cosmic sense beyond this realm and shared missions, not just as rabbit.

I’m sure I’ll learn more about the connection and her story in general, as things evolve. Right now, I’m letting it happen organically and naturally, rather than even inquiring.

She definitely does things by the beat of her own drum and in her own timing, which will not be dictated by anyone or anything, except her. Although, will continue to mirror me.

I also just received a cute, new bunny house and bed I purchased for her to make her space and realm special and magickal. I haven’t put them together yet, but will share them and hopefully some cute photos of her with them when I do.

And, like with all of my loves – Nestor, Joy, Cosmo, and Gaia, I immediately put out intention of drawing in the perfect carved bunny stone that matched her essence and would also be of her energy. I always get a small carved stone/crystal rabbit or tortoise to represent each of them. The reason I do so is multi-purpose in serving as stand-ins for them when I do energy work, Reiki Healing Attunements, or sacred ceremony of any sort so they can join me (I like tangible along with etheric energies present), to bring with me when I travel (especially when I’ve been to sacred spots and vortexes across the globe to do healing work), to carry with me if I want a physical sense of them where ever I go, and to be with me when their physical presence is actually gone, as well as to sit on my night stand by my head as I dream at night.

Anyway, I was led to a lovely Snowflake Obsidian rabbit carving that not only looks like her form, but really feels energetically aligned for her as well.

This stone is good for balancing of body, mind, and spirit during changes, is calming and soothing, supports transformation in general, purification, manifestation, fulfillment, psychic abilities, teaches the value of mistakes and successes, is a stone of purity, helps release stressful mental patterns, promotes calmness, inner centering and focus during any chaotic situations, helps remove and cleanse harmful energies and keeps you rooted as a protective and grounding stone, is good for healing and releasing energy blockages by bringing truths to surface (this is due to its volcanic origin that draws things out), and supports past life work and healing of old karmic patterns. It connects to the Root Chakra and to the sign of Virgo, which synchronously Astrid is by birthday. I didn’t know of the stone’s connection to Virgo until after it arrived home.

I just love this rabbit carving.

Astrid seemed pleased when I presented it to her, as I like them to enchant the stones with their energy, which she did.

So more and more I am seeing how she loves crystals, too, and has an affinity to working with them. In many ways I feel that I will be supporting her sense of safety to bring out her “already” gifts, rather than teaching her things. Not to say I won’t help her with processes, but my sense is she knows how to do a lot of energy work and magick on her own, will help remind me of my own gifts, and be a conduit for me to connect with the other realms, as well as to access the unknown magick within for working greater alchemy.

Just this past Tuesday she also revealed some other cool stuff. I had a phone call with my best guy friend that day whom I’ve known for years and lifetimes. We had several years of separation and going different ways, but had reconnected the last year and have picked up again in a new and beautiful way.

I was sitting on the floor while talking to him on the phone and was sharing about Astrid and how she came to me, her journey so far, and our connection. Astrid was under the bed, but she knew I was talking about her and felt the energy of the conversation and who I was talking to – recognizing our connection.

She normally doesn’t come out from under the bed, as this is her nap and personal integration time of the day, but out she came, wiggling her way to me with a lot of energy and curiosity. She came to me, nosed me, got on her hind legs and stretched her front paws up on my thigh and reached head up toward me/the phone. She stayed doing this and circling around on my left side to let me know she knew and to let me know of her telepathic powers and acknowledgment of my friend Mykal and our connection.

I immediately told Mykal about this and got chills because it reminded me of Nestor and how she was my personal gauge of people.

If Nestor liked someone she would go to them when they entered her or my space and let them pet her. If she didn’t like someone she would not come out, act up, or even pee on them (she did this to an ex-boyfriend of mine both when he held her and when I took her overnight to his place – peeing in several corners of his home). This peeing behavior was not normal because she was very good at cleanliness and going in her litter box. It was deliberate in saying she did not approve.

But the first time Mykal came over to meet Nestor and see my place, the second I opened the door to him Nestor ran to the door to greet him. I instantly knew she knew him and the connection between us all. She did this to another dear soul from a past Egyptian experience as well, whom she and I were both connected to.

Interestingly, Joy did this once too, nipping an ex of mine when he came to visit after I’d been challenged in leaving him. That was confirmation.

And now, Astrid was doing the same through the energy of the phone call with Mykal.

Mykal and I both were heart warmed by her doing this. And as soon as I acknowledged her she then went back under the bed. She simply wanted me to know of her magickal powers, telepathic abilities, soul recognition, and how I can be sure she’ll help me to know of energies that come into our space and what and who aligns or not.

My powerful little guardian and magick worker.

And speaking of magick, yesterday evening as I was connecting with her and gently petting her head and back I saw something very enchanting.

Each time my hand did a full swoop from her third eye, crown, and then the rest of the length down her spine and chakra column, I saw a thick gold filament of energy appear in her auric field after finishing to the end of her root chakra. It kept showing up each time my hand completed traveling through her chakras.

Alchemy is at work between us and this incredible Cosmic magician in rabbit form is making herself known to me with each day of trust and love that passes.

More chills as I write this.

How deeply honored and blessed I feel that she chose me. I am committed to helping to bring her magick to the world in the way she has come to share it.

How grateful I am to Marcy of SaveABunny and Zephyr who led me to her.

And how grateful I am that I can SEE her and so much more that I once didn’t understand fully when my journey first began with my rabbit companions.

I mentioned before how a lot of people have said how Astrid’s hair and my own match in color and that we look like we were meant to be together.

I also had two people tell me “she looks like you!” Both meaning in it more than a physical way, they explained.

Well, this Thursday I saw my hair stylist to get a freshening up on my own Cosmic hair that I had done before Astrid came into my life (unknowingly), and she asked me about my rabbit, as she knows my whole story and how connected I am with them and knew I would be adopting one soon (although at the time she was told about Zephyr).

She asked to see a photo of Astrid and immediately said, “oh my gosh, she looks like you!” She said she didn’t mean it to be about her hair although was similar too, but that if she could imagine me with a rabbit, Astrid was it – she was my reflection.

I got more chills of acknowledgment and feelings of myself having crossed a threshold just like Astrid. Each of my bunny loves have mirrored my journey and aspects of me. And as I’ve continued to step more and more into my essence, alignment is being revealed directly.

The new journey has been ignited and she and I are bonded in heart, spirit, body, and mind.

Rabbit Communication ~ Understanding Rabbit Body Language


This is a great article on better understanding your rabbit’s behavior. It doesn’t cover every single possibility, as rabbits, just like many souls, are complex – some more than others. So intuition, presence, patience, and experience will be the guiding forces in working to communicate with them. I am currently working with many of these rabbit body languages discussed in the article with Astrid, as I help her to feel safe, trust, and work through her past. 

If you have a rabbit, are dealing with challenging rabbit behaviors (please don’t dump your bunny simply because you haven’t taken time to understand and help them – you chose the responsibility so take it – there’s reason for these connections that can enrich your life journey), are thinking about bringing a rabbit into your home as a companion, or simply want to learn more about rabbit behaviors and body language, I hope you’ll find this article below to be enlightening and supportive:

The Language of Lagomorphs

And if you follow along already on my blog, you’ve likely learned a lot from the shares of my experiences with my rabbit companions. I will continue to share the journey I have with Astrid, too, and provide any insights I can add as well.

 

The Journey Begins with Ups & Downs, but Always Love


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Astrid has been settling in while mom continues to make her feel comfy, loved, and surrounded in bunny magick fitting of this Faery bunny. She’s a powerful girl, whose power I have yet to fully know, but also has Earthly challenges I’ll be continuing to assist her with, as she helps me too. I’ve received so many sweet messages from everyone about Astrid, including how beautiful she is and how her power just jumps through the photos I share in huge ways – in some cases feeling struck by her energy with a “wow” effect. I’ve also really enjoyed the reflections of so many saying that she and I look alike and how our hair matches, all of which reiterate to me that she was meant to be here and indeed is my familiar. Thank you to everyone for your loving thoughts and messages.

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I will continue to update you on her and our journey, which is the purpose of this post to share some photos of how she is adjusting to her new surroundings. I still have some sweet and magickal things on their way, which I ordered for her.

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I want Astrid to feel like the Queen that she is and to know she is loved, safe, and recognized for the enchanted and cosmic soul she embodies. I love creating a Faery bunny realm for her and since our kitty babies have basically the whole house (you know cats), it’s nice to know she has her little sanctuary that is her own.

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In the meantime, I continue to patiently work with her to help her day-by-day to move through the past that has created the fight mode she has. I will continue to tune in to get more of her story and background as to why she is so easily startled by everything, feels threatened and defensive, and what happened to create that attack mode.

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Some of it I sense already in the scary things she’s experienced and seen happen to animals around her in one of the horrible shelters she was held in – Solona County Animal Care. I feel she holds pain and grief, as a healer/sensitive, for what the others went through and that weren’t as lucky as she was. She developed defense mechanisms and her power, magickal energy, strength, and bravery fought her way through things that others weren’t so lucky to get away from or knew how to cope with.

It pains me greatly to feel all the horrible things that she and the others have been through. I’m so grateful and lucky she was removed from there and got away from all of it, including where she originally came from and what was in store for her, as some of the way she is also is from how she was raised and what she was raised for.

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But of course, some of this “sensitivity” is also about her healing abilities and gifts in being such a mirror and reflection to our own vibrations and making us aware of being present and acknowledging of our shadow aspects – she isn’t a dark colored bunny for no reason. 😉

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It also served her in weeding out potential adopters because no one could “see” past her behavior initially and really “see” her. Nor did anyone want to take the time to work with her and understand the magick and power beneath it all, just waiting to be supported and recognized.

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What a patient girl she was waiting nearly 2 1/2 years for that alignment to happen. I’m so grateful she chose me and that Marcy at SaveABunny had the intuition to connect us, feeling we would be perfect for each other and a good match.

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We are definitely equals and so I’m devoted to assist her with the Earthly stuff she went through so that she can purely focus on shining her amazingness.

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She goes through ups and downs, has spent a lot of time processing and integrating the journey to get here and her new home, has breakthroughs then set backs….but it’s part of the process of which I’m VERY aware of.

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I just keep loving her through it and both giving her the space she needs, but also helping her to rise above things by not letting her push me away. I know that we must meet as equals in our power and this will assist the alchemy for her healing. So I rise to the occasion too.

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She got a visit from her grandma and grandpa on Sunday – my mom and dad – which didn’t go so well and it was an off day for her, which increased into her worst day so far and kept her hiding in our second bedroom all day and night and in super attack mode. I’m glad she got to meet them and know she has an extended family here full of love for her, but also learned that she really needs extreme easing into everything and too much new, energies, and people can be compounding for her…so we’ll take things slower and not introduce her to too much all at once.

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Luckily, with the love and patience provided, she came out and has had two really good days since with a complete turn around. So I think she really is learning to process and with the communication I share with her, she really understands and is trying her best to move through with my encouragement.

I just love seeing her relaxed and enjoying herself, displaying pure joy when she races around from room to room with exuberant energy and jumps and twists in the air doing her binkies, which says to me she’s one happy, grateful bunny and is loving her freedom and all the nurturing. (I do spoil her with only the best in bunny food, supplies, and healthy yums – can do a separate post on the goodness she receives). It warms my heart.

I will not give up on her, as I have never done so with any of my babies. It took me six months to bond Joy and Cosmo, but boy was that ever worth the patience and work to help Joy through her own defenses she had, as they then became inseparable and soulmates. The best thing that ever happened to both of them. And I never gave up on Cosmo with his condition either, nor did I force Nestor out of her independent mode. I learned what they each needed and desired to be who they really are and supported that.

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I love these photos that show how Astrid is following in Joy’s footsteps (they both were adopted from SaveABunny) as a little portal/doorway guardian.

 

I’ll continue doing so with Astrid and fully believe that together we can achieve anything. I’m grateful that she chose me and grateful for Zephyr and Marcy who connected us and made our partnership and bond possible. I know we are both in for a lot of surprises along the way and a lot of adventures yet to have together. For now we take each day as it comes and I’ll continue showering her with the love she deserves so that she knows she has a forever, safe, and nurturing home that she can blossom in and where we can cultivate a new journey together.

 

 

Spirits in Animal Bodies & A Little About Tiny Horses


animal brothers and sisters

Animals have souls too and are Spirit in physical form, choosing the body and experience that best supports their journey and the collective tapestry weaving and unfolding. I have always seen them as equals and one and the same as humans. In fact, they have been, and are, my best friends, partners, co-creators, teachers/guides and students, soul mates, and twin souls. As a little girl, they were all I felt most connected to and where I felt most comfortable being in their company.

I remember a channeler once looking at my aura and energetic field and saying how many animal spirit guides I had around me – more than he’d ever seen around someone and – and even my dear Laura sharing, long ago, that she’d never met someone who’s been an animal in past lives more than me (at least at the time that she shared this). 😉

Needless to say, I love and get these sweet souls (as I know many of you do too and would share similar feelings and experiences) and know that they have much to teach us, which is why much of my life is devoted in helping to be a voice for them and their important messages/ways of teaching us, and helping people to recognize they are just like us – helping to look beyond appearances and feel into the heart and spirit.

Yes, stop judging a book by its cover extends to all books.

While I love them all, over time I’ve discovered the ones that speak most to my journey and are constantly around me (like rabbits, horses, butterflies, hawks, whales, dolphins, geese, tortoises…and others I wear on my skin as sacred tattoos). Although new animal spirit guides will wander in and out when needed and in cycles (like many of the ones I post photos of and share about in my blog and on social media, as they flow into my life).

And some in fact are my familiars.

I came into this life with a huge love for horses, likely because of my repetitive and transformative lives as one, but discovered this has been part of my integration and healing process that then has led me forward. And while horses will always be powerfully and soulfully connected, since there is that mirror of recognition and resonance, I’ve now moved into what I like to call the “tiny horse” realm.

This, of course being rabbits.

Why do I call them “tiny horses” you ask?

Well, because in fact they are more closely related to horses than they are to a rat or mouse, contrary to belief.

Rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents, although do share similarities, but some major differences including their teeth and the fact that lagomorphs are herbivores, whereas rodents are omnivores so they have digestive differences.

There’s also differences in male reproductive parts, whereas rodents have baculum (penis) bones and rabbits do not. Humans, horses, cetaceans (whales and dolphins), and marsupials also don’t have baculum bones.

This may be one of the reasons rabbits are considered close relatives to horses because they both seem to have retained primitive traits from the most primitive boreoeutherian mammals.

Rabbits and horses have the same digestive systems, eat the same kinds of foods, have similar behaviors, sensitivities, prey instincts, and body language, not to mention they are amazing mirrors for therapy work on so many levels. Their faces and heads can literally look like a horse too, minus the long ears.

If you know about horses it definitely will help you to understand rabbits, so no surprise of my own evolution with this.

And a new “tiny horse” is on his way into my life in just 10 days! Yes, I’m doing the countdown. It’s been a long, patient journey awaiting his arrival, due to our travels, but he still hasn’t been adopted and that means our connection has been solidified through our telepathic journeys.

Just two days ago I solidified things further by ordering all of his new supplies, gifts, and special herbal and nutritional items to make him feel right at home and fortified in well being. We don’t have much room in this small treehouse up in Lake Tahoe, so I couldn’t go all out as I wanted to with Faery bunny extravaganza, but he will have the best of nutrition and loving touches of which I can integrate in here to meet his needs. Will be tight, but full of love.

And in the one photo I do have of him, which is what drew me in in the first place, I do have to say he looks like a tiny horse for sure.

Excited for the journey we will share for however long is meant to be.

I will continue to be a voice for the spirits in animal bodies, especially through my magickal rabbit friends, as our Cosmic connection aligns most with my own.

Tiny Aqua Tortoise


I am always enthralled by my dream time and how rich it is. I’ve had many interesting dreams recently again, but the one that stood out most was of the tiny aqua tortoise two nights ago. I love how each time my Russian Tortoise, Gaia, assists me with my writing, she will show up in my dream that very night, or vice versa – show up the night before and I’ll know she has something to share for the day’s writing ahead. I’m so grateful for my spirit family and especially my tortoise and rabbit companions who share their loving support always.

In the dream it actually started out with me on a journey – this time in a smaller RV – and about to embark. Before leaving I catch glimpse of a tiny (baby-sized) tortoise with aqua shell scurrying across the ground of what seemed to be like a garage or storage area. This little tortoise was fast!

The only other tortoise I know to be so fast is my beloved Gaia. She not only had strong presence, patience, and deliberate, persistent action, but she could move between those methodical, soldier-like steps of intention into a speedy sprint.

I knew right away this was a manifestation of Gaia coming through in this mighty and speedy little tortoise. She was reminding me not to forget the gifts and tools I have, not to mention the guiding support to lean into with this journey.

I went after her trying to pick her up, as she dashed quickly in and out of things in this storage area, making it challenging to get her, but also calling forth my not wasting energy, but focusing intentfully on what would be most effective in scooping her up without zig-zagging about.

And soon I did have her in my hands and just remembered how sweet she looked, her deep eyes and almost smiling face, with a fully aqua painted shell home she carried on her back and her coloring reminding me more of a sea turtle – interestingly just the size and similar essence to a tiny figurine I was gifted by a dear friend that sits on my dresser.

That was all I remember.

But as mentioned, since she’d come through that day with writing support and channeling the part of the story I was tapping into, I knew this was no coincidence, but timely and symbolic manifestation on her part.

Her small size felt to indicate these as reminders more than a blaring warning or that I was off-track and needing a huge sign. It also felt like she was helping me to fine-tune these elements and gifts rather than outright teaching me it from scratch. So definitely about honing in on things even more and tweaking so I can optimize.

Aqua happens to be my favorite color, but this is also a color that holds much pertinent energy to my life and this undertaking right now.

It can represent our unconscious and the instincts we have, wanting us to take notice and support. I take this as Gaia sharing to just trust this next flow of information coming through and to surrender to almost what I’d call “automatic writing” that has and will continue to take place. I will not need to dictate anything.

Aqua is also highly creative energy, light-hearted and still carries a strong individuality. This speaks to me too about the writing I’m engaged in and how it is being carried through me, but also of me.

It’s also definitely about inspiration, focus, concentration, communication between heart and spoken/written word, clarity, and even has been linked with the “electronic age” where computers are a form of wide-scale communication. To me speaking to again, trusting the translation that takes place if I let my parts work in balanced partnership and weave thoughts and words from their true source. And of course, I do type on a computer and to understand the collective reach of what’s taking place, not to mention is a way Gaia communicates to me through electronics with her ability to tap into this energy.

It’s also a color of calm invigoration, restoration, recharge of spirits, encourages healing, compassion, and our intuitive abilities that have the ability to open doorways to greater spiritual growth.

I have found this journey with my writing to be all of this and Gaia seems to be encouraging the process and path, sensing I had a moment of pause where I stepped out of that automatic writing place and was stumped for a bit before I jumped back onto the frequency train of allowing.

Aqua is a perfect color to support expression and confidently focus us with our speech and bringing through ways of describing things we might find hard to express. So it’s a wonderful color to surround ourselves with while also enhancing our gifts, help us make decisions, move forward, carry us through successfully, get us out of a rut or indecisive place in life or with a project, and all the while calming our nerves so we can return to center.

Gaia was definitely reminding me of the aura I carry with me with aqua always having been in and around my life, and to surround my process in this essence to carry me to closure with the story.

The things about tortoise/turtles is that they can live and journey both in water and on land, so there is again that balance of diving into our sensitivities and bringing them into concrete form. A bridge between the imagination and manifestation.

Vulnerability will be part of the journey when they show up and at times this will need withdrawing into our “shell” to bring forth something deeper, but also knowing we have the support to share it and that courage will be there when needed.

Normally turtles/tortoises can signify a need to slow down, but in the case of Gaia and this tiny turtle manifestation of her, she was moving quickly. I feel it represents that things will move more rapidly now with things, if I continue to go in this flow she is sharing, but also to be aware of how I can still navigate intentfully and more effectively. By continuing to be aware of my energy out-put and acting instinctively rather than just doing things without engaging my ability to think 10 steps ahead in the moment to understand the flow of energy currents I can ride, I will bring things together with productive results.

When ever I do this, then I meet with harmonious outcomes and merge as one with what is unfolding as an equal partner in tune with the natural rhythms.

There is so much we can learn by symbolism that comes through and many ways and perspectives to receive and see them as, but I believe we are guided to the ones that we need to know most.

I’m grateful to Gaia for her taking time from her ever-full missions she’s on to support me with mine – well….ours. 🙂

Tortoise & Baby Bunny Bond


This sweet article from Hilary Hanson came out in The Huffington Post on my birthday, but I didn’t have a chance to post it until now. It seems fitting that an article about a rabbit and a tortoise bonding was shared on a day connected to me, since we all know about my sweet Gaia and bunnies, but most especially the bond Gaia and Joy shared. My sweet friends have been around me so much and so when Dave shared this article with me on my birthday, I had to smile again at their messages of love and divine alignment.

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I hope you enjoy this short, sweet article:

Tortoise Takes In Baby Bunny On Cold Night, Begins Beautiful Friendship

Cosmo’s Message & Mission ~ A Journey of Greatest Compassion


cosmo-and-me2

Many of you have so lovingly been following along and sharing your support for our dear Cosmo over the past nearly 2 years that I wanted to take the time to share about his recent transition, but most importantly to be his voice with the message he has imparted. This is my gift to him to support the completion of his mission here on Earth and the last piece of his path he wanted as the tie-in to his departure. Although he will continue on with other missions in his eternal form, he has been a constant source of ever-giving love in a way most rare to experience from anyone, let alone a magickal rabbit.

I’ll begin by backing up a bit to share recent unfoldings that have led to this, before concluding with that message, as all pieces are relevant to grasping a deeper understanding of the message.

As you may remember, I’ve shared several times that our returning to Lake Tahoe was in large part also because of Cosmo. I knew that somewhere along the Magick Bus journey that both Joy and Cosmo would be transitioning and once Joy did, it was just a matter of time before her partner would join her.

Joy, you may remember, made her transition in the energy of the Summer Solstice portal just four months ago. I shared a long video of that story along with a photo story line of highlights in her life and additional insights at the link provided.

It was challenging on both Cosmo and I, but he trucked right along as he always does, in large part to be my rock and a source of comfort for me. I got that he was staying around in order to make sure I was okay before he, too, would make his departure. This also provided he and I the opportunity to just be together the two of us, as I had had that kind of time with all of my beloveds except with him.

And during the last four months our deep connection only further deepened, with our clear communication ramping up, his teachings making huge impact on fuller embodiment for me, and our love transcending everything.

When we received guidance that we were to return to Lake Tahoe, I immediately got the message that this is where Cosmo would transition. He had chosen the place where his teachers and friends – Joy, Nestor, and Gaia – had all lived and where each of them either transitioned themselves or arrived into my life. But all of them having thoroughly enjoyed and connected with Tahoe’s crystalline energy and working with its portal. He chose a place that was also very dear to both Dave and I and until now had been the one place we loved the most and considered our true home.

Over the past year, and increasingly recently, Cosmo had begun to physically decline. Whereas he’d had huge leaps, increased vitality, strength, and mobility from onset of his coming into our lives with all of the efforts and support I/we provided, this last year proved to demonstrate his physical body weakening and breaking down, despite his eternal vibrant spirit remaining untouched.

And this decline continued more rapidly when Joy made her transition.

His bones – the old structure of physical form – were breaking down, his arthritis increasingly being a source of pain, his legs stiffening and one nearly unable to bend anymore despite leg therapies and knee seeming to always pop out of place, his shoulders collapsing due to his using his arms to support and move himself around to compensate for not being able to move his lower body to support himself, and one shoulder recently also hugely dislocated.

And yet he never wavered in the love, peace, presence, patience, joy, and strength of spirit that his purity embodied. His stoic bravery and constant, consistent ability to look at and embrace all of his experiences with loving compassion was an example for us all.

I did not know the exact timing of when he would make his move to journey onward, although felt it was sooner than later, but that became clear not long after our arrival back to Lake Tahoe.

And it was evident also in Cosmo’s orchestration of things that rearranged our timing of meeting up with my dear Laura and David, which was originally planned for the Halloween weekend, but got moved to the Autumn Equinox, as she shared in her recent post: A Strange, Synchronous Samhain Sojourn documenting also how he was “at the center of our Autumnal celebrations all together, anchoring the “Cosmos” and just being the love bunny he is.”

This became one of the missions he was to complete for the collective and all four of us personally as well, and his way of being able to meet Laura in person who had been a large part of his life regardless of not meeting him physically, so that he could say his thanks and goodbyes.

It was also no coincidence that just as we returned to the Reno area, my parents and brother all came over to the Magick Bus to visit, bringing my brother to see it and Cosmo for the first time in person. This was especially telling that my brother, whom I felt meeting and physically connecting with Cosmo would be transformative for, was there so that Cosmo could do his healing work with him as well before leaving, which resulted in Eric holding him when he’s always had a fear of this from the “past”.

Cosmo was able to say his goodbyes, share his love and gratitude, and impart his magickal energy, as he was always consistent with daily.

Then we made our way to Lake Tahoe, where after many phone calls, found him a place and open-hearted acupuncture and holistic vet that welcomed him, despite past allergies to rabbits – allergies that didn’t show up when she and Cosmo connected.

And the story takes its turn here.

Surrounded in the energy of Lake Tahoe, having assisted in our finding the perfect new home for the next 6 months, seeing me deepen my connection to my own heart’s mission, and experiencing the peaceful knowing of all things he’d lined up in wanting to complete, his mission was coming to closure.

Although the support at his new acupuncturist and all the things I shifted to make the last of his golden time here most peaceful and comfortable as possible did just that, it was his own inner peace he’d fully arrived at in knowing he and I were both ready for this last leg of the journey that kicked things into a quick spiral of rapid shifts.

I’ll shift for a moment before continuing on, to share a few things that are speaking through as I write this.

I know that while many have understood, shared the same connection with their soul partners in animal bodies, and experienced the feeling of being a parent to their fur babies no different than that of a biological human child, I know there are also those people who can’t grasp this, may even think my care-taking behavior is overboard, thought that Cosmo was an excuse for not doing things they may have wanted us to partake in because of my wanting to care for his needs which constituted a schedule that was my norm, or felt I was wearing myself down for someone that was not equal to a human child and likely hoped/hope I wouldn’t continue in this vein for their own reasons.

I completely understand these latter feelings because I know that unless one experiences something personally they have no way of grasping what it really means. Everyone finds their own experience of sacred connection in the way that is most relative and meaningful for them in the place they are on their journey. And for that I hold no judgment and took nothing personally.

But I will say that it fuels my devotion and commitment in continuing forth strongly with my convictions and sacred honoring I feel compelled to embody, myself, as I know that is my personal role and path to be living, regardless of how it appears to others.

Although I have not “birthed” a human child, myself, I can tell you that everything I have heard and experienced from my own mother, and all the friends I have that ARE mothers, has been my experience with my animal companions/babies and is consistent with what I know from my experiences this life and beyond, not to mention that all women embody the Sacred Feminine and Divine Mother energy.

I won’t go into all of that here, but needless to say they have been my babies, partners, best friends, and equals – learning and teaching with and from each other. In other words, soul family, which is no different except for the fact that a soul chooses the form most supportive and demonstrative of the mission they have chosen.

This is one of the many messages Cosmo imparted, as he was more human-like than any of my children and embodied a connection with everyone he came in contact with on a level that was undeniable in his conscious presence and ability to interact both intelligently and compassionately.

Dave was just remarking this morning that of all of our animal companions, he was the most dynamic presence that held his own and communicated loudly, yet gently, even without ever uttering a sound, let alone a word. He said that he sat there in the middle of the Magick Bus and was always actively a part of everything and called your attention to him at aligned times to share his message, as well as indicated his being interactive in all things that took place.

He truly demonstrated the equality of life in all forms and called everyone’s attention to take notice and integrate that at the level capable of doing, relative to everyone’s journeys.

To add in the aspect of his special needs he lived with for over two years, not to mention his challenged past from onset of birthing into form here, he conveyed the strength of our spirit overcoming anything, as his rabbit body is one of the most fragile forms to come into. It’s hard enough to go through things he had all his life if he had been in a human body, but add in the fact that he chose such a delicate form that is hardly understood by many and challenged with mysteries galore that take great intuition to unravel, and you can begin to understand the magnitude of his example.

There is nothing that wavered his disposition and the peaceful centeredness and love he exuded. He never allowed anything to shift him out of that space, nor to affect his normal behaviors, like eating, eliminating, or having to go into a long state of quiet processing, as many rabbits will do when they have challenges and even we as humans will do as a result of our embrace or attachment that manifests as different reflections physically or emotionally for us.

He just kept on keeping on….loving and assimilating things every step of the way with total patient and peaceful embrace and flow no matter how enormous the pain was. And he never acted out, nor lashed out. He never bit anyone or pulled away to retreat or show signs of not wanting to face things. He simply licked your hand with loving compassion for you, the journey, and his place in that process.

And this continued on until the very end, as you’ll come to see.

We each have that available as well and can access it from the wells of our inner and innate beingness.

Some may question my choice in rabbits due to their fragile constitutions, hope I don’t have more in my life as they project their own concerns, or wonder if I will bring more into my life.

My only answer is that they choose me, as much as I choose them. And I have not set out to bring any of them into my life except for Nestor, although when they showed up I recognized the contract we had and therefore the mission I gladly embraced, which was always beyond myself in also supporting their missions and doing our part for the collective dynamics.

So I will do that again, only if and when similar presents itself and I know beyond a doubt that that is my role in alignment with heart’s mission.

But to continue forth with what began to show up quite rapidly after settling back to Tahoe and a new era about to begin with knowing the Magick Bus would be moving on, as we moved forward into a new form of home and life showing up for our paths, I’ll share what catapulted us quickly to where things are now.

I’d taken Cosmo to his acupuncture appointment, which was a gift to find, as shared. My intention with providing care as such and all that I did was not to prolong his life unnecessarily beyond his choice, but to ensure as little pain and as much peace as possible while he still was here and was navigating his departure.

But upon our second appointment, he was crystal clear and intentionally focused in relaying his new plan and timely needs.

Basically what took place is during his session, while he’d already been in a zen mode, he became more consciously active and began to nibble on his hay that I provide him while he has treatments. But one of the needles of hay was in fact a needle itself.

I’d been diligently watching him, caressing him as I do, and making sure he was comfortable when suddenly his chewing sounded different and I instantly knew he had a needle in his mouth. I didn’t know how it happened without my seeing, but that is the Great Mystery unfolding, as always.

The vet had moved away to do something, since all the needles had been placed and he was hooked up to the electrodes, receiving.

I immediately told her and tried to stop him from chewing, unsuccessfully, as it was far back in his mouth by his molars.

I knew instantly this was the turning point.

And without going into too much detail I went into a calm panic, having flashes of Nestor’s passing because she had choked to death on medication I’d administered. He began to try to swallow and then he began gagging and salivating. I asked if he’d be alright. I know my face was likely white and all I could do was hold the space of love and trust in what was unfolding, and hoping for the best possible outcome without trauma.

Rabbits can’t throw up, so this was painful to watch. It went on an excruciating while, as the vet tried to get into his throat and check all around the back of his mouth and cheeks to see where it was.

This was unsuccessful, twice.

He continued gagging and salivating and I just said to myself, “OMG, this is it.” I was prepared, as I knew it could come at any time. I just didn’t know how or when. I’d hoped not in a traumatic way, and had no idea something like this could happen, as he’d had acupuncture so many times and never tried to eat a needle.

And hence, the intention on his part was clear. He is not stupid. He does not do anything random and accidental. He is a fully, and in most cases, more conscious being than most.

This was an act of choice. Perhaps he didn’t know how challenging the physical of that choice would be at first, but he knew he had to do something at this level in order for the rest to unfold as needed and in order to get my attention in a big way of the importance this had.

Suddenly, after the intervals of gagging and trying to look in his throat, he was at peace again. The needle had gone down miraculously without issues besides the temporary gagging and discomfort.

How it got down without doing harm I do not know, except that it was meant to be.

I could see the look on the vet’s face. She, was almost overcome to tears. She was panicked and I knew she felt guilt like she should have done something to not allow that to happen. It was all over her face.

She suggested, after I asked what to do next, that I take him down the way to the vet hospital to get xrays and see where it is.

Before I left, I firmly, but gently took hold of her arm and looked her deeply in her eyes to her soul and said while imparting energetic waves of healing, “It’s not your fault. This isn’t your fault.”

I did not want her carrying that guilt and at least doing my part to release her from that and imparting that I held no anger towards her in anyway that someone might project on to others when lashing out of pain. I wanted her to know she was appreciated for all of her help and I thanked her for that before I left to get the xrays, which she called in for me and got Cosmo squeezed in immediately for.

The xrays were taken. Cosmo continued fine. They showed that in fact the needle was now in his stomach. She said she also saw tons of fiber from what he eats, all around it, so it was acting like a cushion or cotton bubble protecting it for now.

And the unknowns from there spiraled.

The xrays were sent to his acupuncturist and she shared the findings, suggesting I monitor him and take him in in another day or two if it didn’t pass, but her experience was, with other animals – mostly cats and dogs, that things DO in fact pass. She’d seen anything from weird toys, plastic, and even razor blades pass without issue.

So I took him home and I waited.

But what I had immediately received in message right after it took place was that Cosmo was telling me he no longer wanted to go to any outside sessions or vets in general. That he wanted to just be in the peace and care that I provided him at home and not spend time elsewhere. He wanted to spend quality time with his family to choose his path naturally.

It wasn’t until a day or two later that I got a larger grip on what his message included, which was in fact he was choosing his timing and this was the way to make that needle-sharp clear.

He continued to eat, eliminate, and act as his normal loving self that first full day, which was Wednesday, 10/26. The acupuncturist kept emailing to check up on him and to see if there was any progress.

I would check his poop all day and night to look for any potential needle.

Nothing.

But by the second day, well actually night, he began to show signs of challenge once a day. It began in the middle of the night when I would wake up to check on him and that was both on Thursday and Friday night.

His eyes would bug out, he would become extremely fidgety, agitated, extend his upper portion of body out and then cramp up, and wanted me not to leave him, because there was great pain, until it would pass. I knew that the needle was moving and causing pain likely when it poked his insides and was trying to find its way through.

I sat up with him in the middle of the night giving him Reiki and comforting him for about a half an hour each time until the pain and his symptoms subsided altogether.

Then he was back to normal, although I began to notice that his left shoulder that we’d seen at the first acupuncture session being likely dislocated, was getting worse to the point that it would lay flat underneath him much of the time. That’s not to mention the stiffness in his back that continued increasing and making it hard for him to bend or sit up. Hence the orthopedic bed I got him to support his back.

Everything was at a very volatile state.

Thursday I kept checking. No needle. So I made an appointment for Friday to xray again, like the vet told me to do so that we could monitor if it’s moving and where it is.

The xrays showed it still in his stomach.

And that’s when the vet said I should contact my regular vet for more advice, as she doesn’t handle that.

I began making intervals of calls, being referred one-by-one to doctor and practice after another. I found it interesting the vet I’d taken him to in Carson for a general check up was out until 11/7. And nobody around knew rabbits enough to take on this challenge.

After the fourth place I was then referred to a fifth, which was where the signs aligned things.

This fifth doctor was in fact the doctor that had treated Nestor with her issues, and where I’d taken her for cremation after her passing. This was no coincidence. Nestor was overseeing things and I felt in safe hands.

Side notes:

What I’ve always found challenging is that no doctor would ever get on the phone in all my times of making calls over the years with me, yet were quick to always be upfront that they had no rabbit experience or specialization, nor willing to take things on even in emergency situations, except for those aligned places I was led to.

It’s made me over time feel very upset/disappointed that rabbits seem to be pushed to the side when they in fact need some of the most specialized care. I remember when I was a little girl loving animals from the get-go, that one of the things I said right off was that I wanted to be a veterinarian.

That was not my path in this life, but be it another time and place I would definitely have taken that on knowing what I know now and had a specialty practice for rabbits alone. I hope others will follow the inspiration of their calling with this if their own soul path is nudging them that way. I’ve seen and gone through way too much neglect with their care and it saddens me, but also brings me such gratitude when I do find those doctors who have gone that extra mile as their focus and path.

That brings me back to Nestor’s doctor whom I was now being referred to by what was supposed to be a specialist place in Reno, but low and behold had no rabbit specialists.

After I spoke to the receptionist for just a brief couple of minutes, she told me to hold and the next thing I knew I was speaking with the doctor herself. She took the time to go over Cosmo’s situation, options, and scope of potentials.

I was grateful.

The rest of the story for the next few days was a process of me on pins and “needles” not knowing when or how that needle would make its move and Cosmo going through one episode a day except for Saturday that was quite challenging. This likely was happening because a rabbit’s GI tract moves every 17-20 hours and in Cosmo’s case, maybe a bit longer since he is not mobile.

So each time it did, that needle was journeying.

And that created pain and the potential of trauma at any moment, as she shared and I knew that if that needle started making its way out of the stomach and into his intestines, there was the huge risk of it not getting through safely, especially with all the tiny turns and processes to go through. It could perforate any part of his system and if so, he’d be in excruciating pain to the point of perhaps screaming and trauma like I’ve seen in Nestor, and it could happen at any time where I would have no ability to get him help and basically I’d watch him pass a terrible death, or get him in and still have to be put to sleep because the damage would be too great for his little aged body to recover from.

There were complications around the whole scenario and along with his age at 10 1/2 years old (like 100 in rabbit years), his spine and skeletal structure all wearing down and collapsing, along with muscles weakening and tightening, we had things stacked against us in terms of any operation or endoscopy even by a specialist being successful since his body was so weak to make it through, let alone recover from it especially if stomach surgery, which Joy had too and didn’t make it back from after. In general, operations on rabbits are sketchy because they have such delicate compositions, but far better odds are there when they are young and robust with a lot to live for still. And each time you put a rabbit under anesthesia there’s a chance (50/50 or much less in a case like Cosmo’s) they may not wake, unless they are strong and healthy.

We started doing research, making calls, and emailing vets we knew. The answers were all the same from everyone and all scenarios of options provided no guarantee in any way of anything.

It was all maybe, perhaps, hopefully, if, etc.

Nothing was in alignment with peaceful, safe passage for him and all things were putting him at greater risk while also potentially having to drive him hours away to a specialist, having him in a cold room with people he didn’t know and I didn’t have any connection to, and with the fear of going under to have a surgery he himself told me he feared, and still not make it, while not being with us who he desired to have by his side all the way.

These were not viable options.

He and I had come too far together to allow such things when we had control of how things could go.

I became aware of how the timing of all of this was also not random, a couple of days after the incident of needle swallowing, realizing that Halloween, or rather, Samhain was just around the corner. And it all clicked.

And when verified with him, as he and I have very clear communication, and through my animal communicator friend who knew not what I had received myself in message before relaying her communications, it all confirmed with loud reiteration the same things.

Cosmo had completed his missions and was expressing his desire to leave. He knew the odds when he swallowed that needle and had hoped that I would understand what he was asking, although understood it was a lot to ask.

I’d received the message of his desire, as I mentioned, a couple of days after the episode and it just increasingly got louder as the days went on, becoming its clearest after I spoke to Nestor’s doctor. And Monday’s Samhain was to be that day, which he desired to make his transition, as it was after all the day and night of the thinnest veils between worlds. A time of magick and would be his magickal exit back to the Cosmos from which he came, as magick rabbits enter and exit as such.

I was going to have to assist Cosmo and I was going to have to put everything aside to honor him and his mission.

This was reiterated to me also in discussions with Laura at synchronous times during her Strange, Synchronous Samhain Sojourn, which she alluded to, as we were in contact with all the unusual bleed-throughs we were experiencing each in our own way over the course of this time we were once scheduled to be together.

He wanted it clear what he wanted and this was his way for that intention to be sharp. No pun intended.

Interestingly, here’s what his acupuncturist emailed me in one of our communications after the experience:

“One of my favorite holistic vets (who is also a Reiki Master) said Dr. Xie would say the needle knows what it is doing. The intention was good. Dr. Xie is an expert at TCVM and head of the Chi Institute, where I trained. So I just thought I’d pass that along. He also says to take a deep breath when animals eat needles. Things will workout.”

My response to her was:

“I agree fully that there is always perfect, divine grace with everything and intention and knowing is built into the process, especially with something like this/the needle with focused clarity it has. Also, Cosmo is a highly conscious soul. This act of his ingestion is not arbitrary or accidental and aligns with the intention and meaning of the process in his journey.”

Again, I was wanting to impart to her no need for guilt on her part, as all things were unfolding in alignment with his will.

I knew this for myself as well, although I would need the last couple of days to fully align all parts of myself with absolute clarity in order to proceed.

While I understood Cosmo’s message clearly and after reviewing all possibilities knew my answer, I would still have to reconcile my human ego parts, as well as needed to have absolute confirmation from him of the next step.

So, we had the weekend for that, and the timing again was perfectly lined up to do so. In the meantime, I was doing all the Reiki and healing work I knew possible, along with asking for assistance, in order to keep that needle from piercing him or causing any trauma before the time he had desired.

I asked for peace.

And Saturday that’s what we got, as he had no episode that one whole day, which I was so grateful for, given he’d had one each of the day’s preceding that were very scary, not knowing if that trauma the doctor had shared may happen if it tried to pass, was in fact taking place.

This was both wonderful, but also played with my ego mind, and especially Dave’s because it was easy to think he was fine, something miraculous was at hand, and perhaps he could live with this needle and it would never move through his system and keep cushioned for the rest of his life with fiber protecting it all around.

This was wishful thinking even though I’m all for believing in and creating miracles, but there was no guarantee that at any moment this could go grossly wrong or that his body would continue disintegrating to the point of collapsing completely with hideous pain and leaving him a vegetable, feeling trapped in a completely decayed body. I couldn’t play with and gamble away his peace and desires on something based on my own or anyone else’s ego to prolong his life.

His soul was too big and expansive to be contained anymore in this fragile form that had seen its time.

So yes, while we had a lovely day of peaceful connecting without challenges arising, it was in part for he and I to share beautiful quality time together and in part, in answer to exactly what I’d asked for and had worked so hard energetically to create.

We were succeeding in getting him through each day to make it to the timing he had chosen for departure.

So I asked for absolute clarity that he was still wanting his original desire to move on with my assistance, and that this was in fact the most responsibly compassionate path. I wanted no shadow of doubt.

Saturday had oscillated with inner confusion that had felt clear previously, but I realized it was simply my human part briefly attaching to desire to keep him here and try to convince myself that I/we could work miracles, even though I’d be putting him at further risk while exercising that “possibility”.

The needle was his intention and his way to say, “I’m declaring closure to my mission here.”

This needle was an unknown that could at any moment have a mind of its own. For now, it was being kept at bay long enough for us to all arrive at full clarity.

We’d started having Cosmo sleep with us in the bed, as I couldn’t leave him out of sight or alone, even though I wake 4 or 5 times to check on him all the time. So we brought his large orthopedic bed in the middle of our queen sized bed, leaving just room for our bodies on either side of him without movement.

In this way I could constantly check on him and he was cozy and safely with us – never alone.

Then Sunday rolled around and I spent all of it with him doing nothing else but connecting.

It was raining hard the entire day, which felt supportive for our delving into watery emotions to reveal the depths of truth, and cleansing to all that wasn’t authentic to step aside for clarity to come. It was also the perfect cozy day for he and I to share, as Dave was out that day.

However, I received the answer I needed and the confirming clarity, as peace was disrupted just long enough for me to get that reiteration desired.

And Cosmo put himself in a place of pain and danger, in order to help me know without doubt the reality of his situation and the depth of his desire.

Alone he and I got him through another bad episode. Peace was replaced after about 40 minutes with him going through a very rough time of pain and discomfort, which was frightening not knowing if something really horrible was about to happen.

Without explaining all of how he was reacting, I went into full on power mode and called in all of my power, favors, and help I could muster up energetically while I comforted and caressed him, and did Reiki and other energy things to assist.

At this point, although one might ask why I wouldn’t use this energy to pass the needle safely, I knew that was not an option. It was too volatile, too chancy, and I knew his desire was to go. So in fact it would have been playing a risk game that it would result as such, when the needle had deliberately been put there for another reason. It had a power to do its duty and would, one way or another. I could not counteract his intention with it. But I could place a hold on it with a promise to carry through with his wishes in return for his safety and peace.

So, I used my powers to stop the pain, and to create a permanent hold on the needle to be swaddled in cushioning protection and not move from the center of his stomach until I could get him to the doctor the next day, as he wished.

And “coincidentally” this doctor was not in on Saturday – the only weekend day they are open- and Sundays they are closed. While I could have tried to find some ER place, that was much too cold and had no connective factor for him. I wanted him to be in the best hands, which this doctor is – she is likely my favorite in terms of her gentle compassionate ways that warm  your heart to be around her. That is the type of assistance this little angel deserved.

Not some random person without any connection.

And afterall, Nestor had guided us to her.

I’m happy to say that everything I did succeeded and he got through the horribly scary episode and back to peace. And never had another episode.

And I received the clarity I needed, as that episode relayed the message that my human ego had to see, which was that the temporary peace was just that – temporary. It was there to hold things for his safe passage as desired. But it would not be a permanent hold and if I surpassed his timing chosen, and all things aligning to support this, and didn’t support his wishes, the inevitable trauma would  indeed take place and we’d no longer have the safe window to choose peace anymore.

It’s like I’ve been describing with everything recently. You have to ride the energy with patience and know when to make the move and catch the airstream that can catapult you.

Once again, I’d received what I asked for in order to fully get all parts of me on board without doubt.

After his pain passed Cosmo and I had very intimate quality time communicating, processing, and enjoying biomat time together the rest of the day.

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This felt so supportive for him, as he came to love his biomat time in the short period we had it.

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He would go into a zen mode, then he’d stretch out and slowly relax into a meditative dream state of journeying, more peaceful than I’ve ever seen him except when he would fall asleep against my heart and chest.bunny-biomat-2

He’d stay on the mat a long time. This day was an hour and a half of internal processing.

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I loved seeing him on it, as he was so utterly at peace…the way I envisioned his departure.

Of course I wished that he would just drift away during this time he was in deep trance state. And there were times, especially in these last few days, when I thought that he was doing just that, as he got himself to such a relaxed state that his heart rate was nearly undetectable along with his breathing almost non-existent.

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But this was not the way it would be, as Cosmo knew that the way to finalize his last mission before he left, which he wanted me to assist with, was not to just pass away silently.

Yes, he would go, but it would be in the strong, gentle way he always has communicated, which has poignant purpose and penetrating message.

And I would need to be party to his mission, as he couldn’t do it alone and it in fact involved me and how the two of us, he said, could help so many others that go through this same experience and heart-wrenching dilemma.

Not to mention, it was part of my own growth and evolution.

I knew that during this day especially, knowing he had only one more day until his desired passing, that he was making sure to review all options just as I had to get all my pieces on board, as when I asked him if he wanted to pull Tarot cards for messages, he refused it each time.

He was still integrating and also wanted me to do so without the cards. He told me the answers were within me and to trust that day and I’d already received his clear message.

There was nothing different in the way we communicated and interacted from that of two humans. And that itself likely may stem from the fact that I have the personal belief and connection that all life is equal and of value and therefore the communication channels are open and clear if embraced and actively engaged. I have always communicated with animals and felt their heartbeat as my own, and in most cases, have experienced how they are more strongly connected to the Heart of All Life, to Mother Earth, and being closer to the Cosmos in their essence that lingers in between worlds than most humans.

Cosmo and I had instantaneous communication that took place like normal conversations spoken or unspoken. He understood everything I said or thought in that moment. And I understood him. This was a bit different from the way Joy and Nestor and Gaia communicated with me, as although I did understand them in wake time, it was not the seamless way Cosmo and I communicated. And they in fact would send me their messages and telepathic stories via dream time. The telepathy was strong in any case with all of them, but manifested differently when it came to the way in which they liked to send their messages.

Anyway, the rest of the day and night went without event, although I’d noticed that the last two nights while he was sleeping in between us, that he was not eating through the night and just resting and processing. Normally, rabbits, and him especially, are always eating round the clock. So his quiet mode at night seemed indicative of his preparations and perhaps avoiding something to happen during the night if his system was moving with new food.

And this brings us to Monday, Samhain – the Celtic New Year and the day and night of the thinnest veils between worlds and during the energy of the New Moon in Scorpio’s Great Mystery, magick, and transformation, which it had just shifted into the day before.

Samhain is a cross quarter day between Autumn Equinox and Winter Solstice and is a night when Faeries are afoot working magick and mischief, as well as the Day of the Dead where our ancestors and loved ones are honored and remembered just like it was for the Celts, Egyptians and ancient Mexicans like the Toltecs, Aztecs, and Mayans. It is also when spirits and souls are thought to have more power to visit us. It’s a time marking the “absence the Sun who will be reborn at Winter Solstice as the Child of Promise” and marks the rising of the Pleiades.

Yes, it is no wonder Cosmo had chosen this day. Just as Joy had chosen Summer Solstice four months before him. All of my sweet ones have both entered and exited at profound and potent times.

So here we were, standing at the precipice of this transformational day and while I was fully on board with being Cosmo’s support system, not without emotional challenge mind you, I was having to be strong also for Dave who was having more difficulty.

We walked through everything for a couple of hours reviewing all of the angles, potentials, what vets had relayed, and what Cosmo had demonstrated. I walked Dave through all the realities in a left brained way first to indicate that there was no solution there that guaranteed peace for Cosmo, and likely would create further complications than he already had, if not extreme trauma past what he already has.

And then I walked him through Cosmo’s wish and what he was saying was his desire. But although Cosmo can ask, he can not force us to do what he asks. He can only relay his wish and it is up to us and our free will to choose to support or deny it.

All of which has ramifications on both ends. Yet, the most responsibly compassionate act and choice was the focal point of this discussion.

When Dave heard all of the angles, again, as we’d been discussing it over the last five days, now coming from my very stable and grounded place of knowing, it was different for him.

I explained to him that he and everyone knows I have and would do ANYTHING for my beloved animal companions. I would give my life for them. And so to arrive at this decision, is not an easy one for me, but is obvious that I have come to a place of knowing with heart and soul, that this is absolutely the only choice available that is of highest peace and compassion.

It is a choice of unconditional, expansive, and limitless love.

It is not a choice of conditional, attached, ego-based love.

The latter would devise ways to make one feel their choice to take an extreme chance of waiting things out, surgeries, etc. was the right path, only to appease one’s desire to hold on, to feel like you’ve done it all so as hopefully not to have guilt (which inevitably would crop up anyway), and to avoid listening to the message very clearly being spoken by our loved ones, thus denying they have an equal voice, mission, and their own knowing and choices that unfortunately they can’t exercise always, and perhaps avoiding the evolution they have come to assist us with through this process.

Ah, yes, it is very complex. And when dealing with the human emotions and these types of choices, it will be confusing and controversial.

I’ll return to this again, but I decided to pull a card from my very accurate, always on point Faery Oracle deck.

Stepping back for a moment, during the weekend I had pulled a card that represented Cosmo. It was the King of Cups, which he is. I always call him my little “king” and he definitely is that sacred male energy so in touch with the element of watery emotions. Anyway, on that card, there was one line that stood out for me the most, as there is always one gem in things we can take away that speaks to us. It was this:

“You are involved in a situation in which caring and empathic assistance are of utmost importance.”

That speaks for itself.

Synchronously I’ve been focused on empathic intelligence of the heart as my work recently and the balance between heart and mind, and heart and mission.

But back to the Faery Oracle card.

Out of 47 cards, to pull this one is no accident or coincidence and it went along also with what I’d been sharing to Dave, which I’ll explain further, but here is that card and a photo of its message from the book:

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I, of course, shared and read the meaning of this card with Dave and this was an ultimate turning point for him when he saw the synchronicity that was inexplicable for this message and when I explained things further from the depths of myself.

Basically this card shares that we do not have ownership over anything….people, animals, plants, the land, etc. We have no dominion over Nature. We are guardians and with that comes the responsibility to honor the sacred relationship we have with all of life and the intelligence inherent within it all, as well, that is beyond our human capacity to understand unless we go within our hearts for truth.

As the card indicates, we need to be worthy of this role, which involves listening to what our companions within the mutual relationship are sharing with us, as what they have to share is just as valuable and valid as what we feel and have to say.

The card indicates that there are shifts taking place and by listening we will know when to take the divine action needed.

If one does not listen then the card would have a reverse meaning of dismissing the messages reaching you from Nature, your animal companions, plants, and the wild that are reaching out to communicate and share their lives with you. Their perceptions are different from ours, but oftentimes more powerful. It would indicate having a sense of ownership rather than mutual relationship or alliance with them. It may indicate blocking out what you’re hearing and projecting your own desires rather than listening to what is being shared that holds truth beyond illusions.

In essence this card says to honor all of life and to move beyond ego into a sacred relationship of compassionate guardianship that listens and acts in accordance with what is heard.

I said to Dave, after reading the card and seeing him release into a greater peace himself, “I cannot refuse his wishes. For me to ignore what I know in my heart and soul he is telling me and asking of me would be a complete desecration of all that is sacred. It would be a backwards step and would basically deny not only his worth as equal to my own, but deny his conscious intelligence, and be like turning my back on everything I believe in and know in my heart as truth. It would be like turning my back on our Earth Mother herself and abusing all that I’ve ever honored throughout my soul existences here. I cannot refuse his request, despite what anyone thinks of me, as the relationship I have with him is the sacred ground on which I walk upon and my only mission is to honor that above all else. My personal loss is not an option to consider. My love – true love – is all there is. And true expansive love IS the mission and heart combined. If I truly love him from a place of nonattachment, then I must assist him.”

And from there on, Dave came to the same place of understanding, as all of his pieces came together too.

Cosmo’s message is that doing the greatest act of compassion is the choice of highest good and that will challenge the human parts of us to move into a new place of integrated embodiment that honors the empathic intelligence of the heart.

However, this is the new relationship that is of dire importance at this time on Earth and although it is challenging to our human hearts, it will access the cosmic hearts within us that can be of assistance in awakening latent parts of our DNA into fuller and truer empowerment.

He wants to impart a deeper sacred relationship to us all that is one of guardianship rather than ownership, and to move into that space of listening to, honoring, trusting, and supporting the messages and connection you have with your animal companions, and with Mother Earth at large, in how to be stewards for change and love where we work in harmony with the natural rhythms and live more consciously.

As left to Nature, Cosmo would not still be here in general.

This involves moving away from a denial of our true potentials and origins. It involves moving away from dishonoring Nature and instead works towards a partnership that can be of most support to beneficial evolution rather than total destruction and unconscious blindness resulting in a complete loss of sacred harmony.

He knows that what he asked of me, of us, is one of the hardest things to do. And it is not something that would be within the scope of all scenarios, as it would have to be taken up on a relative basis. Yet, the underlying message of compassionate guardianship still remains.

He simply imparts a desire for each of us to truly listen to the individual needs and desires of our animal companions beyond the limitations of our own ego needs, as they have an intelligent consciousness and wisdom to impart and this involves all aspects of our relationships with them, not just in times of life and death choices, but when they have things to share every day with us in effort to not only assist us, but to make their own messages heard in things we can honor them with daily and that can help situations you may view as problems without answers.

They have the answers. We must listen.

Cosmo has always been on a mission of service from the get-go.

His life has been one of a service rabbit, as I’ve chronicled in this post back in August and has drawn our attention to more compassionate relationships to animals and Nature to shift us into a role of mutual partnership.

This he’s done as a literal ambassador of peace in campaigns to end testing on animals, but has also embodied an intelligence, and highly evolved compassionate way of relating and communicating with humans as a bridge between animals and people simply by his loving and rare “nature” that everyone has remarked on never having experienced from a rabbit, let alone a special needs rabbit.

Here is that post:

Small Acts of Compassion Have Far-Reaching Effects

Although he will continue with missions from beyond Earth, this is his last message and mission to impart to all of us on Earth, as a soul in rabbit form.

I know this is a controversial issue that many, including animal rights people are challenged with. And yet, here’s my view on this.

Some of us fight for animal rights, to bring to attention for others that they are sentient beings and equal to humans. And yet, when it comes down to truly listening to them as sentient, intelligently conscious beings, we don’t always listen and we impart our own ego needs and desires.

While animals have yet to acquire that title of equal rights in the eyes of many, regardless of it being true in the eyes of all that is sacred, they do have this one right that surpasses us. One that also takes huge responsibility in listening to, rather than abusing, as many do.

Which is why this is more complex than it is simple on many levels. But truly is challenging us to begin to move into our own expanded versions of conscious sentient beings who take into account all of our gifts and all that is available to us to live with compassionate awareness and truly create an Earth home that is one of harmony and not some perverse idea of ownership and abuse at our every whim.

As Nature will ultimately have the last word. We will not. Since Nature is in harmony. We are not.

So here is the right I speak of.

They have the ability to choose their transition with harmonious assistance that supports compassionate choices in honor of their needs.

Something we as humans do not have, as euthanasia is not a legal option for the people who deeply desire to be let go of, and yet we keep them alive, sometimes as vegetables, because WE can’t let go.

There are many elderly people, just like my elder rabbit, Cosmo, who would desire compassionate assistance, and yet cannot have it.

So, while animals have no equal rights yet, they have this right that outweighs our own.

Unfortunately many abuse it and use it to either appease ego needs at their own whims, or abuse not using it when the messages are obvious.

We have no idea the suffering we place upon our animal companions because they are such unconditionally loving and devoted partners in our lives and will accept any fate we decide because of that capacity they have.

And yet, they have pleas of help that go unheard, just as the collective animals have pleas of help we do not listen to.

And it is not only a personal plea, but they act from a collective consciousness with the greatest good in mind.

All of this, like with anything else, asks of us to be super-conscious. That’s really not an odd thing to ask is it, in this day of age?

How long will we continue operating on blind cruise control and deny every bit of intelligence we innately have and that is innately all around us, in order to have immediate satisfaction that has long term destruction written all over it?

The sacred will not await us to realize its sacredness.

I’ve gone through my own personal evolution with this, in dealing with my own challenges with my four rabbit companions….I say four, as I’ve mentioned Twinkie, the only other male rabbit and animal companion I had in my life for only one Summer.

Here’s that evolution.

I was a young girl of 12 when Twinkie was in my life and we discovered his having been born with abnormal teeth that grew the opposite way – the upper grew inside the lower rather than over and outside of them. This created major issues and needed weekly trimming. At my age, I was not able to decide for him and had no understanding like I do now of how to care for this or what options were viable. Hence, he was put to sleep by the opinions of the vet and my parents.

This was devastating for me, as he was my first furry companion. It felt to be a more unconscious act, although understandable at the time. I also was destroyed by my emotional attachment and didn’t understand as a little girl.

Then there was Nestor. She died a horrendous death. In her process of wanting to transition I would not let go. I did everything energy-wise and through vet appointments and surgery to keep her with me. I was not able to let my twin soul go. I stayed up with her all night, for nights, administering all my energy and power and love to ensure keeping her alive and not leaving. In the end she went traumatically, and I was able to grow through that experience she devised for me through that process.

Then there was Joy. She came upon sudden challenges that all came crashing down quickly. She wanted me to not have guilt that I had with Nestor, since I’d been the one that gave her medications that she choked upon to death. Joy gave of herself to go through surgeries to help me know I did it all possible and yet in the end it was still her time. Yet her sacrifice was to assist no guilt on my part and also had me not see her pass so she could give me peace, since she transitioned after I dropped her off for overnight care at the ER. And yet, in the end she had been diminished to nothing. And to see her little body so weakened and tiny, deeply saddened my heart.

Each experience with all of them taking me to greater depths of growth and understanding, with a full circle of experiences.

I became known as someone who would, as I said, do anything to support my loved ones as the equal beings they are to have every chance in the world to do what they desired.

And they assisted that process in the way that would most support my evolution as well and learning.

In comes Cosmo.

Having gone through all I had, my greatest desire for my little ones became the focal point of peace. Not of prolonging life, but painless transitions and honoring of their desires. Learning to let go and focus on their greater good.

Cosmo then took me one step further with this and challenged me with the greatest thing he knew I feared. Something I’d mentioned many times I did not want to be faced with. Which I know most everyone doesn’t want to face. I did not want to have to make the decision to assist his passing.

And yet, his one wish was just that.

Wise he is, knowing how this not only was his personal mission to others, but encompassed a mission that would involve me and my own, along with a greater evolution I’d yet reached.

Everything I’d been through prepared me for this moment. And within those five days I had to come to full embodied understanding, he and I succeeded together in aligning everything within each of us for this ultimate activation of empathic intelligence from the heart.

I know this is a long, long share, so if you’ve made it this far, I thank you and ask to please bear with me some more, as this to me is part of the honor Cosmo deserves and I’m committed to providing since he’s designated me as his voice.

I only hope to do his message the honor it and he deserves.

So this brings us to Monday, as shared, and all things coming together in having the peace necessary to proceed by both myself and Dave.

And it was a sunny, baby blue sky day. So perfect, as I’d mentioned the whole day before it rained profusely, then this clearing for him, and the night and morning after his passing it rained more and even snowed a bit.

There was an opening and the time was right.

I planned to make it a special day, which I’d been doing all weekend, but there were more promises I had to keep for him.

So I gave him all his usual food and lots of treats – his favorites. Then I gave him a bath and dried and groomed him to make him all clean and lovely, plus sharing one of our favorite times together as we had enjoyed every day for the last nearly two years of this.

And after, I set him up on the biomat to give him some peaceful healing energy to prepare him, while Dave and I enjoyed a picnic lunch on the bed next to him, so that he was not alone and so that we had sustenance to carry us through the day.

I had come to see that as much as he was still alive, he was very thinly connected to his body at this time, since he was already preparing for his journey.

Dave then prepared a bag of chopped up strawberries and apples – his favorite – and we loaded him in his orthopedic bed on my lap in the car to make our way to the vet who was about an hour and 15 minutes drive away.

This was perfect, as my last promise to him was that I would take him to the lake itself so that he could see it, smell, and feel the energy of its power and the beauty Nestor and Joy, as well as Gaia, had all had the pleasure to experience too. Although, he was the only one who stepped foot on Lake Tahoe’s beach herself.

As soon as we got in the car and on the main road to our lake destination, our first sign came in.

From the distance I saw a large bird flying toward us. And as it came closer I realized instantly in my heart it was a hawk. Not sure what kind, but it was very large and as it got close it then hovered with its wings steadying it and then came to land on the very top of a pine tree in full sight to see its beautiful detail.

Not only are hawks my spirit guides and I’ve recently posted about them, again, but this also connected with when I first brought Cosmo home, as you can see in this excerpt I’ve shared before, which includes that “mission” has been the guiding force for our connection from the get-go:

“I will say that, like with all things in my life, there is no randomness about it. I sensed this was something big for me…a mission in fact. And that was reiterated the day I picked Cosmo up. On my way out a hawk (one of my major animal totems at this time in my life) was sitting on the light post giving me the support, and on the way home, another. But while driving, a dear friend called that knew I was on my way to get him and she was sending me love and support. I said out loud to her, there was just something about this that I knew was so much bigger and I used the word “mission” to describe it. And immediately after we got off the phone, a song came on and the words said, “it’s more than just a mission….” and at that exact simultaneous moment, I was just crossing over “Mission St.” I got chills and knew in my heart everything was in divine grace.”

We then got to the beach we had chosen and had our special time with Cosmo, where we snapped some beautiful memories too.

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My favorite photos were the ones that showcased Cosmo himself, in all of his glory.

His peaceful presence.

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His dynamic charisma, joy, and strength.

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His fragility, but power, with eyes that pierced your soul with love and inspiration.

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And his exuberance, as he prepared to take literal flight.

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And all along the drive and there on the beach, we gave him his snacks of strawberries and apples in as much abundance as he desired, since it was one of his greatest joys.

Right before arriving at the vet, we played his special song twice to him, one that has been dear to him and I and is perfect for his essence and the message to him, as you can see at the link. And here’s the song itself:

Then we went in and met with the vet, who was just as compassionately gentle as I’d remembered her. Dave came to see this immediately too and we both knew Cosmo was in the right hands without a doubt, and this little rabbit in the corner of the room behind him was a sign and message of support from Nestor and Joy, since they were both lop-eared rabbits:

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Without going into too much detail, it was a very beautiful process with much support.

cosmo Cosmo was very calm and we took our time, completely unrushed and encouraged by the doctor, to communicate and share moments with him, all the last things we wanted to say.

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I had previously over the last days told him everything in my heart I needed and wanted to, so this was simply a last reiteration and us releasing him to be free, but to know we honored and loved him, were grateful, and that we’d be with him every step of the way, as he bravely took his journey.

We had some lovely moment like this one between Dave and Cosmo, where Cosmo demonstrates his constant love in ways not usual for a rabbit:

He did not display the same on video with me, as our time was far too intimate to be shared in this way. We giggled over that, as I got the message from him saying, “I don’t want that out there, as that’s our private stuff. 😉 ”

He was taken back only for a few minutes to prepare his catheter to receive the injections. Then returned to us for more connecting.

What truly moved me most was when the doctor began the first injection that puts them into a peaceful slumber before the last injection.

Cosmo reached his head out to her hand and licked her profusely while doing so. She mentioned he also did so when she prepared the catheter.

His way of saying thank you, and demonstrating the huge heart of compassion he had in gratitude and also wanting everyone to know there was peace here and he wanted no guilt on anyone’s part.

He moved me to tears with this act, as right until the end he was an ever-giving flow of love, just as his enlarged physical heart was indicative of.

And then within moments he was gone, while I held his paw in my hand as he passed.

What also made an impression on me was how beautiful and angelic he looked, as he always had. This was such a gift to see, as it not only reiterated the complete peace that had been honored, but was such a contrast in what I’d seen with Nestor and Joy, both leaving this world under conditions that left their physical bodies completely depleted and although at peace in soul, their bodies were quite traumatized.

This experience with Cosmo was pure grace.

As we left the vet to visit my parents and connect with them over the news, since they lived only minutes away, another sign came in.

Again, it was hawks.

I had just been telling Dave not long before that he had taken to flight and was flying with his friends now. And as I said it inside of my head, I looked up and saw four hawks circling around together.

I turned to Dave with excitement and said, it’s Cosmo with Joy, Nestor, and Gaia!

Talk about powerful indeed.

After visiting with my parents, we made our way back up to the lake.

I’d taken with us the stuffed, enchanted rabbit that was both Joy’s and Cosmo’s surrogate bunny friend and was infused with both of their energy now, along with his special rainbow heart blanket gifted by a special friend for him, which reflected the Rainbow Bridge he would be journeying across.

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I’d had it with us to comfort him and was at his side when he passed too, for him to know that Joy, his beloved, was both in spirit and physical by his side.

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But now, this surrogate rabbit would become my own and has not left my side since, while I’m at home. It is infused with their energies and comforts me, as well as provides that bit of magick that they both had enjoyed from it as well.

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We decided to make a stop at the lake ourselves just to watch the sunset. The day ended beautifully and we caught these photos of his perfect day coming to closure including me with my magickal rabbit that embodies both Cosmo’s and Joy’s energies.

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It was hard to return home as his energy is so strongly still here. Not only because he was a part of every minute of my day with things I did to care for him and connect, but also because his energy is so strong and perhaps because the veils are so thin.

I find myself constantly looking for him or feeling him where he used to be, and know that he IS with me and within me. It was a challenging first night, as I woke up not having him to look after, and laid in bed over an hour thinking of him. And then woke in tears, as my mourning process moves through me naturally.

It is no coincidence that he left at this time also, right before we are about to move into our new home and say goodbye to the Magick Bus. There are so many memories here, that it will be good to physically separate from it and create a new space. He also knew that there would be a lot of work over the next weeks involved with this move and things would be easier for him to assist from outside his body, rather than in it.

He’s always thinking of our highest good.

And in our high elevation new home at nearly 7500 feet, we will be in our “castle in the sky” closer in connection to his off-planet eternal existence.

Yesterday was a little bit better than the day before, as every day will be and always is, although peace does fill my experience despite the normal human heart flow of emotions that will process over time.

After a day of processing and beginning this post, which I’ve concluded today, we went out for a hike to just allow nature to do its healing and reflections.

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And there I experienced the message of all being in alignment in quite literal and incredible ways.

We were led to access a different part of a trail we’d not been on before.

At the start I found this pure white quartz stone…small, but lovely and with sparkles. It felt like Cosmo’s essence.

And not long after we got on the trail I’d asked Cosmo for a sign through a feather. Immediately I looked down and on the path there was a tiny, soft, down feather right in front of me.

It embodied his angelic sweetness and was like from an angel’s wings. The message there was that small is potent and not all messages and things need to be blaring and dramatic with flashing colors and big physical presence.

The power of presence is in the essence.

Cosmo was both fragile and strong. Vulnerable, yet powerful.

And what I noticed very dramatically right away after his passing is that I seemed to integrate this essence of his into my own.

I’ve experienced a new softness I cannot explain other than that it’s deepened me into a layer of myself that feels like the womb of divine love and grace. I speak differently and I have this peace about everything far greater than I’ve known as yet. And I see it physically in my face manifested as well with a new softness exuding outward from within.

But the biggest sign was literally signs, or rather plaques, that we came upon near the end of our hike, off-path a bit on a hidden tree.

Here is what we found:

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These two name plaques hanging on a tree commemorating loss of animal companions, but not random that the two names are basically mine and Cosmo’s with only one letter in each being different.

The letter “i” in mine instead of “y” and the letter “m” missing in Cosmo’s.

Let’s see, “i” and “m”….”I’m” or when said together sounds like “I am.”

Both states of “beingness” which is harmony and peace manifest and how he and I, how we all are, unified as One in this synergy of connection and natural cycles.

To say wow, is an understatement.

There was a beautiful essence of golden ancient presence that lingered in the sun’s portal energy, closing out the day and messages of all being in divine order and grace.

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Dave asked me after Cosmo journeyed forward, what I was going to do with all the time I had now that the together time with him would no longer be there in my days.

I said in reply that I will complete my book…my mission…our shared mission…while continuing to listen to his and my other companions’ guiding messages and inspiration to infuse in everything I do for the rest of my days here on Earth.

Everything I do and share as an embodiment of all that I’ve learned and hold sacred and dear is in honor to Cosmo and my beloveds who are with me as much now as they ever have been and in honor of sacred Terra and my guardianship of that sacred relationship that is a gift and not an entitlement.

This post is in reverence to Cosmo and the important message he wanted me to impart.

He is an incredible soul who has made his way back to the Cosmos from which he came through a perfectly navigated journey by an astounding being and my personal hero.

Some of you have met Cosmo in person and so many others have shared how he’s touched your life even without the in-person connection.

All of you know how incredibly dear he is to me.

Our lights not only mirror one another, but have merged as One.

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It’s been a huge year of immense transformations on so many levels and supporting two of my dear ones into the eternal within 4 months of each other, alongside all of it, has been tremendous and evolutionary.

I know many of you have seen your beloveds journey as well recently, or perhaps will soon, and I know they are all supporting us collectively in these intense yet rich shifts on Earth.

May Cosmo’s purity speak the innocence of his wisdom to your heart, as he has for mine.

And, may you be as One with Nature’s Rhythms, embrace the Great Mystery, and embody Sacred Union with Spirit a little more each day of the rest of your life here on Mother Earth.

 

Note: Synchronously, as I completed writing Cosmo’s story and message, I received a call from the vet that his ashes were ready for me to pick up. Again, no coincidence in divine timing and full circle, peaceful closure. I will be donating his food and supplies I’ve been storing on the Magick Bus to El Dorado Animal Services Department, which is a shelter and adoption center here locally in South Lake Tahoe.

Not A Victim, But An Instigator of Awareness and Peace: A Message from Cecil via Animal Communicator Catherine Albertson


As promised, here is the second post with a special and, what I feel to be, very important message channeled via Catherine.

I want to thank Catherine Albertson for sharing this, which is a way to see and feel beyond only the human perspective and idea of suffering, into a wider perspective of the whole.

What is shared through Catherine is a message that comes through the mouth of a soul that chose an animal body to create the experience and pivotal shift individually and collectively agreed upon.

I have and continue to try to help people to understand the universally broader perspective that steps outside of the limited ego and emotional bodies we attach to and stay stuck in much of the time, as I come in contact with a lot of animal activists and sensitives who ask me many times how I deal with the tragedies of animal abuse and killing and stay grounded and balanced.

In many of my classes, as we speak about energy and healing, I will share a wider perspective in offering to help people move through, expand, and understand more deeply a way to let go of the idea of suffering and pain. To see that there is potentially much more than meets the eye to open to.

This is something Nestor so poignantly helped me to really learn and understand myself, which has helped shift everything for me, as a sensitive myself that picks up everything consciously and subconsciously, that connects me even more with all of life and the collective consciousness – the bigger divinely conscious picture.

The message Catherine channels is exactly how it is with all of the animals….we just have our attachments to ideas on things.

This was a self sacrifice that has a profound, and lasting effect upon the mass consciousness – a divine plan done in soul-consciousness to create opportunity for collective shifting.

Here is Catherine’s share:

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“In light of the recent outpouring of attention for Cecil the Lion, I was drawn to connect in with him, as I felt there was more to be shared from his perspective. It can be hard to make sense of such tragic situations from our human viewpoints, and by connecting with the bigger picture as relayed by the animals, we may find some comfort.

“Know I am at peace. There is a level of agreement, a soul contract.. I feel no resentment towards this man. This has been part of his journey, his evolution of consciousness, and for all who witness and are affected by this unfolding of events.

Anger is not the way forward. Disconnection is what has created the hole in the human heart that must kill for enjoyment – it is no fault of anyone’s – but a vivid illustration of the state of collective humanity. Indeed, the response is also a reflection of what people are no longer willing to tolerate.

The immense opposition is necessary for change – the act of dying was necessary for it to be witnessed. Do not see me as a victim, but as an instigator of awareness and peace – of respectful and honourable interactions between species. This is the way.

Use the rush of heightened emotion to act, to make a positive difference. To let others know this CAN NOT continue. It goes against the laws of nature – and none will suffer more greatly than humanity if this continues to be disregarded.

The pain and fear experienced by my physical being was disengaged as I prepared to leave my body. There are two levels of functioning, and in such times it is possible to remove one’s consciousness from the active experience of suffering.

My spirit is strong, and continues to be. I honour the shifts occurring. Trust in this process as a catalyst for change.”

Immense gratitude to this incredible being.” ~ Cecil via Catherine Albertson

Embodying Your Essence with Custom Essence Blends by Catherine Albertson


I had the honor and opportunity to connect with the beautiful Catherine Albertson, also known to many as Catherine Adela, while up in British Columbia during our Horses & Reiki retreat. This is the first of two posts I’m going to share today about Catherine.

This first post introducing her a bit, how she and I connected, and the beautiful gift of hers I’m enjoying. I love celebrating and sharing about the amazing souls that are paving a new reality, lighting the way, and creating change by what they embody and share as gifts in service.

The second post will expound on a recent event that has really affected a lot of people and I feel is important to share with an important message channeled via Catherine. So stay tuned for that shortly.

Catherine Albertson

The lovely Catherine during our Horses & Reiki Retreat

Catherine shares her gifts as an Animal Communicator and is also certified and well-studied in the areas of Animal Reiki, Shamanic Healing, Flower Essences, Crystal Therapy, and Healing Prayer.

What a precious soul she is and I’m so grateful that she took the time to share her passions with me and to bring Janet (my dear friend and one of the women sharing the weekend) and me to visit her place of work at O.W.L. – The Orphaned Wildlife Rehabilitation Society, which is “dedicated to public education and the rehabilitation and release of injured and orphaned birds.”

That provided me opportunity to connect up close and personal with the bird souls that are so dear to me, including my favorite Barn Owl.

I learned that we shared many loves, including Reiki, animals, and creating essence elixirs.

Mine are focused on crystals alone, while Catherine creates beautiful essence blends that carry the energetic frequency of the flower, gem, or environment from which they were made. She works primarily with the Alaskan Essences and Green Hope Essences lines, pulling from a wide variety of essences to come up with custom blends, tailor-made for individuals and animal companions for what they need most.

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Interesting photo of the Full Blue Moon I took while out that evening. The right light is glowing from some light on a building below, the center light appearing like a 6 pointed star is the Full Moon, and a blueish light to the top left appears all in angled size-alignment.

I asked her to create a custom essence blend for me, which magickally arrived all the way from British Columbia on the day of the Aquarius Full Blue Moon! No random coincidence on that!

It is an amazing blend of 10 essences, in which half of them came from the Alaskan Essences – no surprise there! The rest included 2 Pacific Essences, 1 Living Tree Orchid Essence, and 2 African Tree Essences.

She asked if I had specific intentions, but instead I shared the “essences” of things I wanted it to incorporate and then asked her to intuit the magickal rest, and receive the messages most aligned for me at this time.

I can’t begin to tell you how perfect the 10 essences are on so many levels. They include:

Cow Parnsip • Sunflower • Gold • Northern Lights • Fairy Slipper • Windflower (Pacific Essences) • Whale (Pacific Essences) • Positive Flow (Living Tree Orchid Essences) • Tree of Light – The White Stinkwood (African Tree Essences) • Whale Song Wisdom (African Tree Essences)

Along with the custom essence blend she provides a written, very detailed report of each of the essences and their properties, energetic frequencies, and effects.

I was so grateful it arrived on the Full Blue Moon, so immediately I decided to put it out in the garden overnight, to activate and supercharge it in the moonlight and sunlight of the following day’s August 1st celebration of Lammas – “first harvest”.

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My Custom Essence Blend from Catherine on top of my Garden Tower amidst the green abundance and surrounded in love and energy of my Crystal friends. Earth and Cosmic activation indeed!!

I intuited it wanted to be activated and infused by placing it on the top of my Garden Tower, in the soil amidst the abundance of plants growing there, along with 3 crystals surrounding it – my large Record Keeper Herkimer Diamond, my Golden Selenite Flower, and my Rainbow Obsidian.

I put it out in the late afternoon on July 31st and took it in late morning of August 1st.

I love this blend and between Catherine’s amazing custom essence, my crystal elixirs, and a cosmic crystal flower elixir from another “star” friend of mine – Dove of BLOOM: bohemian love Of OM, I’m flying high indeed, as you know I’m taking them all!! I like to do things big! 🙂

Catherine’s blend is so amazing and reflected everything that has been speaking to me, including how much I’ve been tuning in to the Whales and turning my focus more to them these days. I’ve always been with the dolphins, but I’m reminded again that Whales are calling to me, as they did when I was a little girl – I always did my science projects in school on animals and in 4th grade it was the Blue Whales.

Catherine shared with me when she finished the blend:

“A beautiful supportive selection of essences came up, dear Tania, including not one but TWO whale essences. Expansive whale consciousness is huge for you right now, I can feel them hovering around you. They’re asking you to connect to the waters, particularly the coastal oceans, that links you to them no matter how physically far away they may be. Lots of magic there in whale medicine!!!”

I’m feeling that expanse indeed and am grateful for this special blend to aid the opening journey I’m traveling on.

If you’re interested in learning more about Catherine and all the amazing services she offers, or are interested in your own custom blend for yourself or an animal companion please visit and contact her with inquiries here:

Through Their Eyes

Thank you Catherine!

I highly recommend Catherine, her services, and her essence blends. From the moment I held and placed the first drops on my tongue, I felt the rippling of frequencies flowing and activating. Can’t wait to see how things evolve from continued use. I’m only at day 3 so far, but the shifts are in effect. And I’m definitely feeling my Whale brothers and sisters more deeply, not to mention feel ever more so in my essence with all this support I’m nurturing myself with.

Love consciously living a magickal life. When you believe, everything turns to gold.

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