The last couple of nights my sweet boy, Cosmo, has been coming to me in my dreams. I feel him so strongly that my heart both aches and feels enlivened by the waves of his powerful love running through it. His love is as vast as the cosmic waters of All That Is. He knows that it is because of his presence and my other bunny loves, including Astrid here in this realm, that I feel most inspired to move forward with the things my heart whispers. He and they are the wind beneath my wings. We are One.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I feel he is sending me a message of love and gratitude, as he truly was my son in every sense of the word.
I’ve written before about how he was the one who truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way, even though I will never experience an actual physical birth in this life with a child.
Astrid is in every sense of the word, a true embodiment of Sacred Mother energy, as she so beautifully and powerfully exhibits how she watches over the humans and bunnies we know and the creatures of the forest here, and how she walks in partnership with her Earth Mother. Although she is so clearly of the stars and exhibits being much more from beyond than of Earth, she is very balanced in her energies as a Virgo, and hugely in touch with that feminine earthiness.
She is a beautiful example for me of this balance and a model of both the tenderness and awe-inspiring power and strength of the Sacred Feminine and Mother.
Between both Cosmo and Astrid, I am receiving the gifts of what it means to walk in this essence ever more so each day.
As I shared in a post about Cosmo several years back, I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
And equally, men have access to this essence, as there is a union we each have dancing within us even though we are playing out one role more than the other. This is something we can become more and more aware of, as we tune into and honor these parts both inside and out.
I believe that the alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember being within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and shine forth without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
For me, it feels as if Cosmo truly was a baby I birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular focused one, but it’s there. I had these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I got to spend with him, even if it was the rigorous routines others might tire from, I was thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I could spend with him, especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I always felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, time stood still, I didn’t feel I needed to do anything else, and actually would have been happy just taking care of him.
I loved bath time and I loved holding his hand when I took him in to his vet and therapy appointments, reassuring him I was right there. I loved waking to see how he did in the night, and I couldn’t wait to see him when I returned home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation was good for growth and expanding our telepathic connection.
If you saw us in the afternoons and evenings, when he laid cradled in my arms and fell asleep on my chest as I gave him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddled him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting her baby to sleep for a much needed nap. The way he looked just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin was very telling.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really slept best is when we were cuddling, and he could relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He was nurturing me right back.
He helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I continue to experience and open to in my life in bigger ways on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence shifted and much was, and continues to be, supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
There is a greater sense of being that came from knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
Astrid wanted me to share about this connection with Cosmo, as a way to honor that Sacred Mother energy the collective is sharing this Sunday.
Little did she know that I would share on how she is an incredible reflection for me of what this means and looks like.
I am grateful for both Cosmo and Astrid for what they have helped ignite within me.
All of my sweet animal companions have been incredible teachers for me in the most beautiful ways. I truly wouldn’t be where I am and who I am without their guidance and inspiration.
Part of why Astrid wants me to share this is also as a way for the human collective to understand the deeper partnership we have with all life and that whether you find yourself surrounded with many humans, animals, plants, otherworldly friends, or simply living in union with Terra – our Earth Mother – and on your own, there is incredible richness available to know yourself more in the simplest of ways.
Life doesn’t have to look extraordinary or be extraordinary by anyone’s definition of what that means.
Life IS extraordinary in its simplicity.
Even the trials, the challenges, the ugly, the raw, the pains, the disappointments, the routine, the less than ideal – has a bitter sweetness that reveals we are truly alive, what we are capable of, and how infinite creativity is – an enriching extension of spirit and being, although our minds would rather negate these experiences.
These things enliven how it is to feel.
These things are exercise to the heart just as we exercise our physical body and other muscles.
So while I am a curious being by nature, it is in the most seemingly mundane moments that I have truly experienced myself, love, and peace.
My curiosity has led me to see what is right before me.
In caring for Cosmo and Astrid, and all of my sweet companions, they help focus my vision to the now.
Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: Honoring the Sacred Relationship to Nature & the Nature Within
As today marks the four-year anniversary that my sweet, special needs bunny boy, Cosmo, came home with me forever, Astrid is wanting today’s message to be a reminder of the sacred relationship humans are gifted that is about guardianship and stewardship, rather than ownership and dominion over nature. She wants us to move more into our hearts and not simply succumb to ego desires at the detriment of foregoing these sacred relationships. It is a great honor we are born into that comes with a commitment to awareness of compassion for the highest, to walk in presence of most heart-fully and responsibly.
There’s not a day that goes by that Cosmo isn’t a part of my daily thoughts and reminders. Astrid knows this well, and is in communion with him and my other star rabbits.
Whenever something comes up that can potentially trigger or lead me astray, Cosmo instantly comes into heart and reminds me of how he approached everything with unconditional love, regardless of the situation. This instantly shifts my energy and keeps me aligned.
Astrid doesn’t want this post to be about her, so she asks me to share Cosmo’s last message that expounds on what she feels important to impart.
“I honor Master Cosmo with utmost respect. Let his love and words speak for today’s message,” she says.
Here it is:
With the recent passing of a dear soul in rabbit body named Flynn on the Full Moon Eclipse, who was like Cosmo’s twin brother in heart in so many ways, Astrid feels the importance of sharing how sacred every soul is and that regardless of the body chosen to incarnate as, there is something important that everyone has to teach us and help us to experience.
Astrid shares, “Your greatest teachers are many times in the form of something you wouldn’t think, or idealize, them to be.”
This can come to be the people who most trigger and challenge us, or it can be through a tiny fragile animal like a mouse or rabbit, an unusual insect, a little “Charlie Brown Christmas tree” type plant, or Nature’s expressions.
“Never underestimate the power of any child of Mother Earth to have profound effects on your life. If you open your heart more, you will hear the voices all around you that are talking to you all of the time – not just when you decide to listen,” she adds. “You are never alone and what you think you need or desire, can come through in a different way and form once you release attachment to how things ‘need’ to be. That, of course, including and starting with the sacred relationship within you. Tania discovered this when she surrendered deeper into her heart and discovered the truth of boundless love residing there.”
And part of what I discovered for myself was the profound relationship to rabbits that was unique for me and that made all the difference, as well as led me back to myself.
“Please tell them more about this discovery, my dear friend,” Astrid encourages.
“Okay, well the best way would be to share what I’ve recently wrote about this on my “Creating Life As A Work Of Art” page to this blog,” I answer.
“Very well, that sounds good to me,” Astrid replies. “I think it will be insightful about how you found your greatest meaning, sacred connection, and passion for life, which demonstrates to others it can be through something unique that speaks to each soul.”
Here is what I wrote:
Creating life as a work of art is my personal motto and I’ve learned that I do this best with a rabbit by my side – a magick rabbit, to be precise.
I’ve always lived a creative life, but it wasn’t until a life-clarifying experience a few years ago that I uncovered a deep truth in my heart – I wasn’t me without a rabbit. These complex and mystical beings stir something within that opens my heart wider, tears me inside out, lights the deepest recesses of inspiration and imagination, and makes sense of what can’t be explained.
Rabbits have played the biggest role in 16 years of my life (I’ve been blessed with 5 rabbit companions – currently Astrid is my cocreator on Earth while the other 4 are the star guides to my Cosmic compass) and in surrendering to learning the wisdom they have to teach, I have come to know myself even more. They have helped me to create a life that reflects the dreams and visions of the child within. We share a bond of watching over one another and encouraging the best in each of us to step forward courageously.
Their connection with creativity, abundance, and that fertile Spring energy of joyous blossoming reflects the importance of cultivating this renewing energy and innocence.
I’m passionate about sharing the magickal qualities of rabbits with others and the art of presence they embody that can help reveal the mystical origins we long to discover. The way of the rabbit is a recipe for creative living and enrichment. They indeed take us down a rabbit hole of discovery and adventure where the only limits will be how far we let our imaginations run. I love inspiring people to remember who they are and rabbits are way-showers to hearing that song again.
“I love this,” Astrid says and nudges my foot with loving approval. “You’ve come a long way and we – souls as the rabbit collective – are ever-grateful for your devotion and sacred commitment to relationship with us and the Earth Mother we love, and for being one of the voices for our messages. And since you’ve come this far, we hope you are willing to come a little bit further this Earth cycle you’re on.”
“I know many times you want to let go and in the past have all but given up. Since you’ve trusted this much, please remember to listen to that song, as it is still composing itself,” Astrid adds.
“You always know what to say,” I share.
And so it is that Astrid, my star rabbits, and the rabbit collective are asking me to surrender even deeper to listening, and be willing to go all the way.
I didn’t realize Astrid would use her collective message to also message me an answer to my question I had about the new choice and timeline that was presented to me just recently and within Sedona’s womb.
The rabbit hole is an ever-deepening adventure.
If you’re on Instagram, don’t forget that today Astrid and I will be sharing the start of the Giveaway later, which will be ongoing through the 31st, with recipient announced on February 1st. We’re finalizing details and will be posting how you can receive a special little gift to celebrate the upcoming launch of our new Etsy shop – The Magick Rabbit.
This sweet article from Hilary Hanson came out in The Huffington Post on my birthday, but I didn’t have a chance to post it until now. It seems fitting that an article about a rabbit and a tortoise bonding was shared on a day connected to me, since we all know about my sweet Gaia and bunnies, but most especially the bond Gaia and Joy shared. My sweet friends have been around me so much and so when Dave shared this article with me on my birthday, I had to smile again at their messages of love and divine alignment.
I hope you enjoy this short, sweet article:
Dream posts continue, as this was another meaningful dream I felt compelled to share now that I’ve had time with it for myself. The day after my dream I posted yesterday about the two blue snakes and gila monster, as you might recall was the day “The Tree Beckoned and I Followed.” Well, after that experience in finding the presence of orbs all around me inside the tree portal (appearing like I’d stepped inside the Cosmos) that night I had another potent and healing dream that brought full circle a gift from my beloved rabbit, Joy, who has also been showing up so profoundly lately.
Synchronously, this was also the night of the marches collectively taking place.
Since many of you so sweetly sent messages and love about Joy when she transitioned and have followed along with my bunny love’s journeys, I thought this might be not only conclusive as a companion piece to my share about Joy’s last moments and days on Earth in the physical I wrote and spoke about extensively in this post “In Life & Death, “Joy” Is Always There,” but may also be supportive to others who have experienced loss of their beloved animal companions and loved ones in demonstrating the eternal connection that does not end and how we are continually being supported by the connection shared.
In my dream on Saturday 1/21, Joy was with me and she had taken ill, just like in the end before she left in waking life. The odd thing was that her tail came off in the dream and it was very large – much larger than normal size. It literally broke off on its own, but perfectly. I could see all of the tiny bones and ligaments that connect it to her bum, but where it broke off was so clean and precise, without blood or any signs of injury. This indicates to me a sense of no suffering being experienced on her “end” and a clean “ending” and healing closure at the “tail end” of this experience. The tail being so large and furry feels to be definitive in this closure and the “end of an era” again reiterated for me, balance being restored, and that I’m using intuition, creativity, and wisdom in my life more than ever and this will be increasing.
Although rabbit’s feet are connected to “lucky charms,” the tail may also be considered as such since there is connection with rabbit’s tails as their way of escaping predators with the white flash of the tail confusing them as to their exact location when in pursuit.
I also feel this symbolism she showed me is directly connected to my book, but that’s for me to understand the connection, although I will say that direct healing is involved on many levels with its unfolding.
But back to the dream….
I then notice her feet, especially the left one, and they look exactly like Fiver’s – the mouse that I nurtured recently.
These mouse feet were only on her back legs, just like Fiver’s back legs were the only part of him that showed signs of his injury from the impact to that area and lower back.
That left leg on her was completely limp, red, bruised. I remember one spot on Fiver’s leg had a bruised, red area, so again tied in with him.
Then in the dream she comes and lays on me, as I comfort her and caress her.
In the dream I start calling around to vets to get her in (just as I did in waking life when she took ill), but I get the sense she won’t make it in time to get there. In real life, she had just made it to the ER after a long over an hour’s drive and then passed not long after I left her in the doctor’s care to monitor over night, at her request.
So, now in the dream I am aware she won’t make it and I will just be with her to help her transition peacefully, just like I was there for Fiver.
She is in my arms and then suddenly she lets out a little cry, followed by one last big breath and I know she is leaving her body with that.
Nestor had let out a piercing, excruciating cry when she left this Earth, but this was different….it was soft and although rabbit’s only cry when in pain, it was an indication of release rather than suffering to me and not as tormenting to experience as Nestor’s was.
(BTW, this is how she actually transitioned when I left her at the ER, as the doctor shared this with me when she called to tell me that she let out a soft cry and took a big breath and went.)
I then rub her head softly, as she lays in my arms and tell her over and over that I love her, wanting that to be the last thing she hears before she completely goes and slowly her heart and breathing wind down to nothing.
I’m sobbing in the dream and at this point can feel my half wake state in real life and know and can hear me wimpering in real life too.
Although emotional, it was a gentle experience and was not at all a dream, but completely a reality she and I were sharing for a purpose and rewriting the end together.
I felt that she was connecting me to understand a deeper healing than I may have been aware of that I had through Fiver.
Perhaps wanting me to know she had projected a part of herself in Fiver when he had come to me, or that he had been sent to me by her, as a way for me to experience this healing with him through her.
This may include being there with her at the very end when she transitioned, since I was not when she passed, as I had left her at the ER by her choice in not wanting me to have to go through that experience.
Although I knew she wanted that and maybe thought I was not ready yet for this, I felt like I wished I’d been there. Maybe her seeing how I handled Cosmo’ passing, made her now know I was ready and she gifted me this experience in “dream” time and with Fiver, so I could relive being there with her.
And she gifted it in a gentle, beautiful way.
Even the way that Fiver jumped on the crystal when he transitioned, like blasting off into the Cosmos, could have been a sign of connection with her since Joy was so connected to crystals herself and always layed with them and had their points jutting into her body to receive their energy, working with gridding our homes and journeying with them.
This dream, as they all are to me, was very “real time”. And I did feel this sense of deepening closure and peace knowing I supported her this way and that I was strong enough now to keep going through these kinds of experiences in supporting these sweet souls in their transitions.
And afterall, Joy is a cosmic traveler, shape shifter, and portal journeyer. You might recall that she and Nestor showed up in Glacier National Park as the two cosmic deer on the day I spread their ashes, from this post: Spreading Ashes, Spreading Joy ~ Cosmic Encounters & Sacred Connections
So connecting with Fiver is not far from reach for her either. 😉 And creating timeline jumps for us to relive/recreate what “is” would be right up her alley too. I love how she changed the “ending” and that I could be with her.
Quick side note and speaking of Nestor, the day after that dream we headed down the stairs from our place and the crew was there shoveling the snow as they do and one guy says to the other to alert him we were coming up behind him since he was busy shoveling and didn’t see us, “Watch out Nestor.” I smiled so big knowing my sweet Nestor was wanting to chime in too with reiteration to the dream connections.
And to add to the timings and synchronicity, another tie-in with Joy took place just a couple of days before my dream of her. I received a voicemail message from the doctor in Jackson, Wyoming who did her surgery. The story line of this is included in the above post on her transition.
He was such an angel, who came in on his day off to do this, talked to me on the phone, provided me his personal number and went above and beyond in helping her/me.
A little rewind…..about a month or a few weeks after Joy passed I’d sent him a plant with a nice thank you note just wanting to acknowledge how grateful I was for everything that he’d done for us. He even called me the night she transitioned after talking with the ER doctor that night (late I might add) to give her background right before she passed.
I actually never heard from him after I sent the thank you gift, so I wasn’t sure if he got it, but figured that our crossing of paths was complete.
Then 6 months later he calls and in his message says he just wanted to say hello, was thinking of me, thanked me for the nice plant and thoughtful card…and told me whenever I had time to give him a call to talk because he had felt such a good vibe from me and really connected with me, so he wanted to see how I was.
I was so touched and it felt like Joy’s way of starting to get the ball rolling with her plan of recreating the “end”.
And then back to the day at the tree portal, right before that night’s dream, I now was able to connect the dots and that this portal was activating the opening to this experience Joy was setting up for me to rewrite “history” and I feel that larger orb above me was her.
What an experience and how gracious and loving Joy is to gift me this one thing I had wished.
There are no limitations to our connections, eternal love and bonds, and what is possible.
I feel a greater lightness and deepening of my love with her and my loves, and gratitude for her gifts in knowing what would be perfect for my journey and moving forward with my work.
As you may already know, Dave and I have two kitty babies, which were brother and sister to Joy, Cosmo, and Gaia. They were Dave’s animal companions he brought to the relationship, as I brought Joy and Gaia to it. Cosmo came to us together. So he had a different dynamic with us.
I haven’t written much about the cats only because I have experienced deeper soul and life path bonds with the bunnies (since they are directly connected just with me) and we’ve been through so much on every level together, but I do share past connections with the souls in these kitty bodies. They are just much more reflective of Dave and their behaviors and experiences are directly connected to him and how he feels and what he’s going through, just as the bunnies and Gaia would directly reflect me.
I’m sure many of you have observed similar differences with your own integrated families.
The cats and I have a very different relationship than they have with Dave. They know me as mom, more of the disciplinarian, since Dave is much more lax with that 😉 and they have a respect of me because of this. They know they can’t get away with anything where I’m concerned, as I see right through them. Because of this they have completely different behaviors when it’s just me at home with them or when Dave and I are both at home with them. I mean COMPLETELY different. 🙂
I’ve spent huge amounts of time with them, as I was always at home when Dave was at work, so they have grown very close with me. It’s just a different dynamic.
That said, I thought I’d share a little bit about them, so you can get to know their personalities a bit.
They are our only fur babies, at this time, and they definitely are interesting and very different characters.
Sweet Pea is one of the most engaging and soulful kitties I’ve experienced. She never shies away from deeply penetrating eye gazing and has such animated facial expressions that show how she feels and what she’s thinking.
Although she’s highly sensitive and scares SO easily, giving meaning to the word “scaredy cat” she is very human like and thoughtful. I often find her observing me with great interest no matter what I’m engaged in, to see what I’m doing and to learn. She used to always oversee me cleaning and drying Cosmo. She’s definitely a little healer kitty, as if you’re feeling “less than” in any way, she rests upon your heart.
Boojum on the other hand will never look you in the eye for more than a couple of seconds, and when he does he is not fully there and always looks past you. He also has no desire to engage in more than simply doing what he desires/needs in the moment and is very needy, whereas Sweet Pea is completely present, more independent, but thinks of others first.
Boojum has had behavioral challenges, as he will directly display what he is picking up through immediate physical reactions that have needed our being creative, since he’s crafty with hiding his intentions and puts on an air of not understanding, as if to say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
But they are both very loving. They just have different motivational reasons and life paths.
It’s so interesting to observe their differences and how unique they/we all are and the experiences each soul has chosen to have when they choose the body form that they do.
Each very different, neither more or less than the other, but definitely indicative of the intents the soul has to live out.
This photo taken on our Christmas vacation shows her deep soulful gaze and I found it interesting how her little white patch at her third eye was lit up like a flame of light.
And this is a photo of Boojum on Christmas morning.
He was taking a cat nap next to me on the sofa, tuckered out from playing with Santa’s elves and chasing reindeer the night before. 😉
You can catch a glimpse of his sneaky little personality behind that big teddy bear. He definitely has a dual character going on, as he’s much more dog-like, not graceful or agile like most cats, and unable to fend for himself, as Sweet Pea who is much tinier holds her own and is much more of the “hunter” than he is. She’s also very transparent.
Interesting dynamics all around. Lots of love abound.
Our animal companions teach us much indeed and we equally support them with their choice of path as well when we recognize and embrace who they really are.
I’ve been blessed with these four magickal souls in rabbit bodies in my life and have been forever changed because of them. They’ve all reminded me of my song, helping me get to where I am today. Our love transcends time, not to mention opens gateways through it. We have so much more to create together and I welcome walking that path with them in my heart and others that will join, as we do.
“The spiritual path is not a solo endeavor…We are in it together and the company of spiritual friends helps us realize our interconnectedness.” ~Tara Brach
I’m grateful for all of my soul family who have been a part of my life and helped me to remember who I am, which includes all connections that have intertwined and of course friends, loved ones, biological family, Cosmic family, and the other amazing souls who have come to me in animal bodies including the incredible Gaia my Russian Tortoise, Tee-Ta my first turtle love, Iris the white parakeet with aqua cheeks, and Sweetie and Girl my two powder blue parakeets.
It’s always amazing to me to look at how the tapestry has been woven into such richness because of all of the threads.
While we’ve been exploring, creating, and living life where life finds us, my focus has also been on the little ones and ensuring their lives are as rich as ours. Joy and Cosmo are in their golden years at 10 and 12 years old – equivalent to being 100 and 120 in our years – so they have special needs and have recently each had health challenges that simply mean a weaving in of reflective care has been necessary to become a natural part of our lives like everything else.
I shared about Cosmo recently having gone through allergies that turned into pneumonia and how we got him back to balance again. He continues to do well, and I continue to do my best to keep his allergies at bay, which has been successful. He continues to need me more and more, but he’s happy, spirited, loving as ever, and a healthy little ancient one.
I was just commenting recently on how his fur has evolved since his being with us for nearly a year and a half. When he first came to us his fur was much more coarse and, of course, dirty and matted. He now has beautiful velvety fur nearly matching Joy’s and even his back end he lays on is so clean in comparison and I’ve learned to manage his cycles of matting to keep him looking beautiful. It’s amazing what good care, diet, and nurturing love can do.
And the same has been true with Joy and her recent challenge, in how the right care can make all the difference.
I mentioned in a previous post that she had a health issue come up right after I got a handle on Cosmo’s and he was balanced out again.
I thought I’d share more in detail about that, as I’m always wanting to help others out there with rabbits in understanding and caring for their little ones, as best as possible, through the things that I experience with my rabbits and that I learn. Plus, I like to share how our animal companions reflect so much for our own journeys.
So, I’d noticed Joy had started being more silent…that may sound funny since rabbits don’t make noise, but that doesn’t mean they don’t communicate in their own way. And she had been more internal, spending time off by herself, and just huddled, although was still eating and acting normal in other ways when not off on her own.
That immediately put me on alert to observe and keep an eye on her, as she is an extremely sensitive one and she also tends to process a lot.
Since that has been the case with her, in terms of needing her own space and time and going through things energetically, I allow her that space and don’t just jump on taking her to a vet just because she needs time to herself. As long as she eats and eliminates, I’m not on major alert, although energetically support what she’s going through best that I can.
Sometimes she, or we all, just need a little quiet time to work through things.
But when I started noticing her having difficulty eating…moving food around in her mouth, rolling it from one side to another, and spitting some out, half chewed…I knew something was up.
And since rabbits can get severe issues with their teeth – since they constantly are growing and can grow the wrong way (up or down into the jaw), can grow points and sharpness if not properly gnawed down through their hay eating, and can develop infections, and abscesses that then affect everything else, especially their delicate digestive systems and GI tracts…this was a red alert for me.
If there was a teeth issue, she’d potentially need dental surgery. And putting a rabbit, let alone an elderly rabbit, under is always sketchy.
So, I watched this for a day and she was able to eat a little, was still eliminating, but since she couldn’t get all of her food in, I got her on her critical care food right away – something to keep on hand if you’re a rabbit guardian, as it provides all the needed nutrients, but is a mixture that looks like ground flax that you combine with water into an apple sauce texture so that they can still eat easily.
We followed the instruction on the back in terms of amount per weight to provide, but later found out we could have given her even more.
And I started calling around to find a rabbit vet in the area.
This took place while we were in Colorado Springs on a Thursday…we were leaving to Golden on Sunday. It also happened to be right before Memorial Day.
So you can imagine I had quite the challenge getting her an appointment. I called about 15 places…half in Colorado Springs, a quarter in Golden, and the rest some ER places.
Every single place was booked until later the next week or had no rabbit doctors on duty at all. I was sent from one place to another each time I called.
In the end, I got an appointment for the following Wednesday in Golden and in the meantime just focused on managing any pain she had with Reiki, pumped her with Echinacea, and fed her the critical care food to see her through. I monitored that she was eating and eliminating, as if any of that stopped, I would have taken her to any ER or vet, regardless of having a rabbit doctor or not, as that would be a dangerous condition that couldn’t wait.
I tried to stay as positive as possible and not fall into any worry spiral that wouldn’t be supportive for her. This may be challenging in times like these, but staying as balanced as possible is the best thing we can do since our animal companions will take on exactly what we’re feeling.
I gave her my crystal rabbit and tortoise statue that are connected with Nestor and Gaia, to provide her tangible support from her dear friends so that she could feel them close while they were helping her energetically from afar.
It’s tough when you are sitting there waiting and feel somewhat helpless, knowing your loved one is going through pain. But it’s a test of having peace within chaos, as we can create different realities with the power of our centeredness.
I was seeing her start to lose her balance and fall a lot, indicating an infection, as well as frantic for food, despite my feeding her the critical care. I noticed her losing weight, but she still was eating and eliminating and still actively doing things like engaging with me and Cosmo and cleaning herself.
Then we left Colorado Springs and got to Golden. I started to see her improve. Her balance returned and she was able to eat her pellets and some veggies again, alongside her critical care.
I made a connection to the much higher than normal radiation in that area that had also affected sensitive mom, feeling much more drained while integrating that energy, as a transmutational process.
Joy is the ultra energy sensitive one and immediately picks up on energies, as well as tries to work with them with all of the powerful gifts she has for the greater good. But like Nestor, her fragile body isn’t always realized since her energy is so big and boundless, and so it doesn’t always support the things her soul are committed to doing.
So either the radiation was the trigger to the challenge, or she had a challenge that the radiation intensified, as her symptoms were also those of one affected by this.
Anyway, we finally made it to her appointment day, thanks to a lot of Reiki support also from a few friends that were sending her some at the same time, and keeping her eating and staying focused on the positive.
Long story short, we met with the female doctor who was very knowledgeable, once again, and we received her prognosis.
She was able to examine her thoroughly, which she remarked on being rare, but Joy allowed her to fully explore her mouth like no other rabbit she’d examined. This identified no issues there.
She said her teeth were healthy and beautiful, without points, and the two potential issues of either growing up or down into the gums was not apparent in the easy ways to determine these.
Her heart sounded great, her eyes although blind in one and cataracts in the other were healthy, and nothing else apparent.
But she felt that since I mentioned her losing her balance, that indicated likely an ear infection, which would also cause nausea. In her case, not an outer infection, since the outer ear looked healthy, but rather an inner one.
This can’t be seen except maybe with a high power xray – not recommended for her age since she’d have to be put under for it and doesn’t always show up regardless – and so she felt we should treat the inner ear infection since that was safe and either way would take care of that, and in the interim we decided on a thorough blood testing to run two panels and check on everything including her organs.
In the meantime, we also gave her subcutaneous fluids for her dehydration due to the extreme weight loss, bringing her to only 3 pounds.
That was the sad part, as that nearly week of waiting and not knowing we could give her more critical care, plus her not able to eat other things until the last two days that her ability to do so returned, got her way down in weight.
No doctor would provide info over the phone when I called during our waiting, since they didn’t know her status and that was understandable since they could be liable for misdiagnosing, however also frustrating since there was no outside help.
Makes one turn within and call upon their own resources, which is always a powerful thing.
I was sent home with pain meds for her – the same Cosmo is on – and medication for her infection while we waited on the tests.
This now put us on huge regimes for both bunnies between each of their special needs and regular and special feedings, while I worked on trying to fatten Joy up.
And so, I am basically running a bunny nursing home these days with all that my dear ones are in need of in their older age.
This last vet we visited said she usually tells people that rabbits live until about 8 years old (only because they require specific care and attention that isn’t common out there), so at 10 and 12, she said mine are like 100 and 120 years old.
Ancient ones indeed, but ultimately these two are tough ones and although there are challenges that call for my time and energy, it’s a gift to be able to live out their golden years with them and support them with their paths. I love them with ALL of me.
We were supposed to hear on the blood tests the next day, but somehow Joy’s blood had gotten lost and hidden on a shelf.
The doctor did call once or twice each day to check on Joy, but it wasn’t until he third day that we received the results.
The doctor was not happy at what had happened so not only did she give them a piece of her mind, but gave me a $100 credit back for the mix up, which was unexpected, but very kind of her.
What we learned was twofold.
The first panel indicated things connected to dehydration so that was normal and we had addressed already.
The second panel showed a bit low white and red blood cell counts, which indicated one of two things.
The doctor is focusing on the one which would be association with infection.
The other one could possibly indicate cancer.
She’s not going there nor am I since she’s eating and doing better.
Plus, to put energy and focus there would be as toxic as cancer itself and create a reality that may not otherwise be there or would not support a spontaneous healing if in fact it was this, because we could be feeding it rather than simply seeing her in her wholeness.
So we treat the infection and watch her. If she stops eating or losing more weight we need to look further.
I’m happy to say she continues to eat well and doing all the normal things we’d want her to do.
The only challenge right now is getting her back on her hay, which is good for her teeth and digestion – the only thing rabbits really need in their diet, as the rest is like icing on the cake or yummy indulgences.
Joy has become addicted to her critical care food, which isn’t bad since it has everything nutrient-wise she needs, but to return her back to her regular diet would be good.
She’s eating her pellets, greens, and berries too and no more balance issues present.
So I continue to try and although the doctor said I could cut back on some of her critical care feedings, I also don’t want to starve her when she is still underweight. I tried for a couple of days, but she refused and so I find it more important that she is strong and perhaps will have to find other things for her to chew on if she decides critical care food is the new regime.
But this experience has revealed other things and may have had multiple purposes.
I’ve noticed Joy increasingly opening and being more vulnerable. She has learned from Cosmo about licks of appreciation and messaging. So she gives me tiny licks now and then, which is something new for her and a sweet reflection of her affection.
She continues to lean into Cosmo more, opening her heart so vulnerably to him and showing how much she does really need and enjoy the comfort of his love, which is so heart warming. I often find her not only energetically leaning into him, but physically she exhibits this by letting her weight fall into him, her head hidden in his fur, and simply just wanting to be as close as physically and energetically possible.
All of this is such beautiful expansion for her and learning to feel safe by exposing herself in this way and opening the walls of fear around her heart to letting someone in.
Something mom has learned too, and along with her.
And I also feel this experience has been partly a manifestation of her wanting and needing more nurturing, or at least voicing to me that she’s ready for more again. Whereas she’s always been self sufficient and not wanting to burden me (at least that’s how she would have seen it), she’s asking for help and she’s liking what she sees Cosmo receive with the extra physical attention due to his needs. So I feel she’s wanting some of the same.
That also reflects to me her opening to her own needs of love and self love, rather than just always being of service. Again, great reflections of the same mom has and is going through.
They both continue to keep me focused in the moment and on what’s truly important and of value in life, as those precious moments of caring for them, although can physically ask a lot of me, are true streams of giving and receiving out of pure unconditional love.
They have also taught and continue to teach me so much about rabbits and now to include elderly and special needs care, which may prove as training for the potential vision I have with this in a possible future to come.
They also continue to reflect all of the important things my soul desires to learn, and mirror my personal processes, as well as play out potential realities to spare me of the same, by my learning through their living it out for me so that I can consciously embrace the message. That’s how connected and heart bonded we are.
They continue to help me understand deeper levels and access the information for my writing, as my cocreators and partners in that dance.
And in the times each day where they are snuggled together and I place my head in the middle of them with hands and arms around them, we realize the power of love through the trinity of alchemy we bring together through our hearts.
But it is the looks of complete bliss on their faces, the way these two fragile, but powerful beings lean into me and each other, and the simple tender licks they give and reflect back during our group huddle, that makes me feel invincible, eternally and endlessly flowing in the power of love.
I’ve posted so much about Cosmo, his journey, and how he’s awakened the Sacred Mother within me.
Today I want to share a celebration of our one year anniversary, although will be day-long here on the Magick Bus.
One year ago, today, Cosmo came home to live with us. It was unclear at the time what would unfold between him and Joy, as that was the only reason for first fostering before adopting him.
Yet, once I picked him up and he came home, it was clear he’d be staying for good and I trusted it would all work itself out, as it felt meant to be.
The message I feel guided to share today in honor of Cosmo, is about the importance of heart and soul commitment to your animal companions, as if they were your biological children – the ones that are both healthy and that have special needs.
But within that message is also a call of importance for your heart bonds and commitments to ALL of your loved ones and those you hold dear, including yourself.
You can’t afford to spend one more day pushing them and you aside, as today may be your only opportunity to share your love.
During this year I’ve invested my heart, time and energy into giving Cosmo everything possible to provide a quality life, by keeping him happy, healthy, and thriving. Not to mention, support his soul in the best and highest possible way with his path.
And I will continue to do so until our last physical moment together in this life.
There’s not a day, hour, or minute that goes by that I’m not saying “I love you” over and over to my loved ones, but also showing them that love, which means even more.
Dave was just saying a couple of days ago that Cosmo is lucky to have me, as although there are many animal lovers out there, he’s not sure many would do what I do for him. He even included himself in there feeling he wasn’t sure he’d be as capable of doing the kind of job and giving as I invest.
And yet I often say that I’m just as lucky to have him, as he is to have me.
He helps me always to know what’s most important. It’s not the work I have to complete, the deadlines, the schedules, the ego-driven thoughts of what needs to be accomplished in a day that mean anything.
The most important thing is the love I share with him and the responsibility to caring for this little one and ensuring that it is quality care, without cutting corners because other things get in the way.
Nothing gets in the way of a heart bond and commitment you have – whether that’s just to yourself, your partner, your children, and your animal companion children. You make the time or time will pass you by and so will all of the precious and fleeting moments that are life in its finest.
Although I’ve shared some of the things that are involved in his care, truly it’s like having a newborn baby that will never grow up.
It is round-the-clock care, presence, intuiting, listening and observing, and physical and emotional giving.
I wake up twice a night to check on him, turning him over if he’s fallen on the weak side and can’t get up, bringing him to his food and water and sitting with him until he’s done, or even a middle-of-the-night changing/cleaning.
Then there’s the daytime stuff, which all makes it even more important that I’m a work-at-home mom.
I share that for anyone thinking of taking on a special needs animal.
It’s not something to do as a charity case, because you want to feel good about yourself, or simply because you love animals.
They need special care and if you aren’t willing to provide the kind of care you would to your own flesh and blood child, then maybe allowing someone else who can invest that way would be best.
Or, if you’re ready to commit, then educating yourself and being ready to make life-adjustments is necessary.
ALL of which I love. And I say that with EVERY OUNCE ounce of my being.
The time I spend caring for my little ones is my cherished time…the timeless time…the realness of life…the reason for living to experience that preciousness and purity.
It’s amazing it’s already been a year! My time flies. But it’s been the best year of my life so far.
Thank you Cosmo for the gift of you and the countless and continuous ways you teach me about life and love.
I love you with every breath of life within me.
are everything to me.
So many of the experiences I’ve chosen to follow recently, in response to guidance received, embody all the things I find important in life, teach me those things, and draw forth, as well as deepen them for me.
Of course that’s to go without saying this includes my relationship with my rabbit companions and their presence in my life.
I’ve mentioned before how they consciously assist me on a daily basis, and I them.
Yet, it is in the moments where I sit in silence with them, giving and receiving, that simply are the key to everything for me.
Nothing else matters that is going on anywhere and especially not anything that may have been bothering me in any way before that moment.
I know the innocence of my energy. I know the purity of my soul.
And I am no different than the precious being held in my arms.
Those of you with animal loves likely understand what I mean when I say that my rabbits ARE my children. I feel it in every sense, including the physical.
I become one of them and they become me.
I am one of the rabbits in the warren. We are family.
I peer through eyes that feel as if they are looking through a rabbit’s body.
And yet the rabbits also become human.
We morph through the love that disintegrates all veils and perceived boundaries.
There is only the precious experience of the moment shared, as One.
We are stardust.
There are times I hold them individually.
There are times we snuggle as a threesome when they are entwined with each other on the ground and I join them at center.
There are no words.
Just a few nights ago I was holding Cosmo, as I often do. He was laying against my chest. His legs cradled in my arms. His body and front paws pressed against my heart. And his little head flattened to my throat, just under my chin.
Every now and then he slightly stirred and gently licked my throat and area just below, near my higher heart.
Then he drifted back to sleep again.
This could go on for hours if I let it.
And it’s always the same, although more special each time.
This night I was extra absorbed in this experience and how it felt like I’d returned home with my newborn baby I was cradling in my arms.
Just as a baby would.
How blessed am I to be gifted this precious and powerful soul, I thought.
In a body so fragile and delicate, it makes the experience, his love, and trust for me all the more beautiful.
Everything that means anything to me is wrapped up in that moment and this tiny, incredible, and magnificent miracle of All That Is, expressing itself through this being.
When I peer into Cosmo’s eyes I see All That Is peering back at me…I see who this soul really is…I see myself…I understand.
These moments are EVERYTHING to me.
Little by little they’ve been bonding, but I’ve been doing it slowly and intuitively, as to what they were ready for. I wanted to allow them time to feel comfortable, create a sense of connection without force on their own, and for them both to make peace with the space we share in my office.
Since it has always been Joy’s sacred space, I had to manage this carefully, as she is very boundary-oriented.
So I allowed them the time to get acquainted with separation via Cosmo’s pen, which also kept him safe from the kitties while everyone adjusted and also ensures no pee accidents. 🙂
And they had their sweet moments, as well as a few scuffles. But all in all, they were getting used to each other and learning the rules and mutual honoring.
Then there was the one day a while back where I put Cosmo out next to me by my desk and Joy came over and they were third eye to third eye for a long time. It was then that I knew she had decided it was time to teach him Reiki level 1. She had been waiting for the right alignment.
They have bonded over their physical challenges since, as they both were together at the vet when Joy had the eye problem that turned into her being blind in one eye, and Cosmo was exhibiting his own challenges.
And they continued to bond further while in Big Bear, as I would leave Cosmo out more while I cleaned his pen, and also at night when I would exercise him and have snuggle time. They checked in on each other and were curious. Cosmo would run circles with my help and Joy would watch. And at times they’d bump together and there was a little “hey watch out!” that took place.
But as mentioned at onset of the post, it wasn’t until we arrived home that things took a huge turn.
That evening Joy had been recalibrating herself in the living room on her pillow throne from the road trip journey and I took Cosmo out to do his normal exercising and snuggling. I have a new routine for him that no longer needs the long ramp shoot we made for him. He is so excited when I put him down, that as long as I stabilize him by just holding my hands at his sides for support, he can run laps like crazy! It makes me giggle with delight each time, as he actually tuckers me out since I am running behind him being careful not to step on him, but keeping up with him, while I am bent over foreward, holding my hands at his sides.
So much fun! We use his favorite strawberries to motivate him, giving him a tiny piece each time as reward. It’s truly turned into the best thing, as no longer does he feel handicapped. I moved him away from his little wheel cart, then to the ramp, and now to freedom with only mom’s hands helping him to keep upright. I really am not doing much but keeping him from falling, by gently having my hands at his sides for support.
He loves this, as we are working as a team together and since I’m behind him, he doesn’t see me so he feels like a free bunny running at leisure. It’s just more natural in general and I really love that we’ve moved to this level, as it’s so much more enjoyable for him.
I love this, as he can now feel like the bunny he used to be and has so much more freedom, which to me is most important. That’s also why I take him out several times a day and in the evening, so he isn’t in his pen all the time.
However, this evening upon return, Cosmo did a special thing after running his laps.
He shimmied his way over to Joy who had come to the carpet to watch his running spectacle, and started cleaning her. He licked and licked and licked her little head, grooming and loving her. This was the first time this has happened and Joy was in bliss, accepting the love and respect. It was so, so cute to witness and it really warmed my heart, as I knew this was the turn of events that would change things and take their relationship to a whole new level.
It was so wonderful for both of them, as Cosmo got to do what he loves – give – and Joy was open to receiving, which she hadn’t been before. Each then were also giving and receiving in return, from their acts of openness, what they both needed and wanted, which was connection.
The next day, Monday, I followed my intuition and decided to take Cosmo out for the entire day. I placed a towel down in my room and let him remain out next to me. He stretched himself out immediately, feeling comfy and relaxed, so I gave him a Reiki and Crystal massage, after which I let him rest with his Selenite on him so that he could absorb the supportive, healing energy. He loves his Crystal energy work time. All of my animal companions are big time Crystal lovers like mom. 🙂
He is exceptionally intelligent and respectful, so he always tells me when he is hungry, needs to pee, or wants something. So I would just pay attention intuitively to him and when I saw him shift behavior I put him in his pen to eat or pee, then brought him back out.
But I kept him out and what happened is that Joy would wander over and they would spend time together hanging out, he would clean her, and they would just be like buddies. Sometimes doing their own thing during nap time, and other times engaging.
It was also this day that Joy decided to teach Cosmo Reiki Level 2. I talked to Joy earlier on this day, suggesting it might be a good time since I wanted to enlist them both together with me as a team for something distant.
I always know when they are communicating because there is a lot of close third eye or crown connecting, close bonding, but with some twitches on Cosmo’s part, and combinations of sitting still with little touches and nudges, as the transfer of information and energy takes place.
And so it is that Cosmo has received his Reiki 2 and Joy has been such an excellent teacher. I am so proud of them both.
Not only have they bonded more deeply, but are deepening that relationship to extend past friendship into a beautiful mentoring connection.
I have only ever had one bunny at a time, so to have them both together and bonded as they are, is really a gift. I can’t tell you how special it is for me to look over and see them both interacting, and to now feel all three of us as a more cohesive team than ever before.
Yesterday, I decided to work on the floor with them again, as it just feels more natural to me in general and I love being surrounded by my bunny loves. I was in Faery heaven, as the two of them would be right next to me on either side, or together, and we were all sharing in the work and energy.
Since Cosmo has come into my life my office has truly become a rabbit warren. I even have my painting “Once in a Blue Moon” hanging on the wall over his pen so that Nestor is watching over us all, and both Joy and Nestor watch over him. And I have a beautiful custom rabbit plaque that a dear Pisces friend of mine, Mitch, sent me for my birthday that hangs at the entrance of our room.
And basically all of their things fill my room.
And now, I am transitioning Cosmo. As the past two days I have kept him out all day, which he is loving and it makes me so happy to have him free now. I am able to leave them alone…even went out on errands for an hour and they were fine. I have no concerns about them together and I’m now seeing if I can ensure teaching Cosmo to use his pee pad no matter where he is.
As mentioned, he’s soooo good about that. He will never pee on me when I hold him, bathe and dry him, or when he’s out. He holds it until I put him back in his pen and immediately then does so. Or, he lets me know he needs to go with a little nip, or stirring. So far, I tried one day on Monday of just listening to him and placing him in his pen when he needed to go, but yesterday I decided to see if I could just have him do it on his pee pad in the room. I’m happy to say that yesterday was a success, and so has today been so far, so I am going to continue this for about a month to see if he will continue consistently to know to go to his pee pad when he needs to pee. If so, I will be able to completely remove the pen altogether and have them both free in my office. Yay!!
I also have to make sure Joy doesn’t get any funny ideas on things, as she’s already somewhat decided his hay his hers too. LOL! Cosmo at first was like “ummmm” and then he just let it go. But Joy has a tendency to pee in hay since hers is set up as a dual litter/hay box, so I’m keeping an eye out. She may not realize his is purely a hay box, as he pees on pee pads, unlike her in a litter box.
It’s definitely a full time investment of love here, but it really is one of the most important things in my life that I am happy to invest in, as I can’t tell you how rewarding it is to see them together, have them happy and thriving, to be with them and work with them, and know that I am supporting these amazing beings into their power. I know they have a mission, and I know part of that is the work together with me, so it’s important to me that I provide the nurturing and cultivation that supports their individual and collective paths.
I have such an amazing relationship with them and our communication couldn’t be more clear. We understand each other with beautiful clarity and it’s one of the most enriching parts of my life here on Earth to cocreate in partnership with them.
They are my connection to natural harmony, reminding me of the “nature” within.