Last weekend Astrid received a new, wood castle tower to replace her toppling over, cardboard carrot cottage. I got her the cottage when she first came home to live with us and she immediately went at renovating it by chewing open the carrot windows and widening doorways to let in more light, create clearer vision, and have easier in-and-out access. Eventually, she started chewing the backside wall almost completely where the second story sat above the first, and the whole house became the Leaning Tower of Pisa – or like a friend said, “the Leaning Tower of Carrot.”
And this is where today’s blog inspiration comes from, as Astrid points out, “There is nothing random about this, mom. Reflect back for a moment and you’ll see what I mean.”
She’s right. When I first gave her the carrot cottage we were living in our condo – the tree house in the sky above Lake Tahoe – and were in a bit of flux with our living situation and decisions on what we wanted to create from there, what home looked like to us, new ideas around business ventures and long-term planning, and even what I wanted to do with my current inspirations of writing and so forth.
Hence, a bio-degradable, non-permanent, and easily mobile carrot cottage for Astrid – my reflective counterpart.
But just as we outgrew our tree house and decided upon a forest-side dream home that we, too, wanted to renovate, Astrid let out her energy larger and larger and I began to create a room of similar dream-home quality for her.
This all coincided with us rapidly moving many parts of our life at once, and setting into place brand new foundations that were strongly anchored, but also much more integrated and balanced. We continued to fine-tune our lives, cleared out the old, listened to what our hearts had to say, and worked on getting greater clarity of focus and efficiency while building and recreating.
Astrid continued to mirror this and more and more shifts to her little Wonderland realm began to happen while I listened to her needs and saw her for who she is. So, even what she started off with when first moving into this home, transformed. Much like it did for me.
All but that cardboard carrot cottage, which every morning she would chew away on more and more.
She tells me that she was doing this for three-fold reason.
One, she was moving energy through that chewing, as rabbits do, and this in reflection and addition to changes she processes and supports beyond even herself.
Two, she was trying to get my attention that this house just won’t do anymore. “I want a better lookout place to oversee things in the forest and to see into the Cosmos when the stars come out. I want a stronger fortress to create boundaries when I need them from the energies abound, so I can do my work more easily. I prefer my feet feeling grounded and supported with a strong foundation, rather than walking on flimsy, moving cardboard. I prefer castles over cottages because it’s who I am and deserve it – thank you for seeing that. I want to go bigger.”
And three, she wanted to remind me about the concept of building the new, which you can’t do upon an old foundation because the new structure will simply fall down. In order to build the new, you must work from the ground up, clear out all of the old that lies deep under the surfaces as well – the hidden stuff – and then rebuild and recreate from a whole new vision. This will create something lasting.
She’s so right.
Astrid would like me to break the latter one down further into digestible pieces of understanding. So, here we go.
Many times we try to build the new, but we don’t take time to look under the demolished building to see what it was standing on in the first place.
You can’t simply just put on new clothes, change location, get plastic surgery, or buy a new car.
Whatever you carried with you from before will still be there emanating and magnetizing things regardless of what the outside looks like.
But, if you do some psychic surgery, excavate into the emotional caverns of your heart, explore the inner realms and dig up the roots of your beliefs and patterns, you can then integrate and transmute, clear, and move beyond.
Then, the new you create has the ability to firmly root in clear fresh soil, without any of the old plants fighting for nourishment and energy.
Your new won’t come toppling down surprisingly one day when these old roots start surfacing again.
Astrid knows of these things because she and her rabbit family are so connected to Mother Earth.
They hear her vibrations and understand the inner workings that support vibrant and renewing ecosystems.
They hear the vibrational frequencies emanating beneath the surface and can see beyond what we present to them.
They see things for how they really are.
And so Astrid compels us to take a deeper look.
If we want to stand firm with our new visions, then we need to be willing to tear down, chew up, and process that stuff we don’t want to experience anymore, find their gifts, and transmute them into a brand new reality.
Don’t forget your parts along the way.
If your carrot cottage no longer suits the essence of you, then build yourself a strong castle tower where you can see more clearly from.
Yet, don’t forget those roots!
Astrid thinks everyone would do well with having some rabbit teeth for those nasty little buggers.
Chew, grind, and chew again, until they’re broken down and easily digestible.
Doing so will provide the nourishment needed to create new realities based on wisdom of the past and vision of the future, integrated right here and now.
Have a question for Astrid? She welcomes you to share them and we both send a lot of love to everyone processing the old and working on creating and building the new.
You may see rabbits as fragile little creatures, but I assure you they are strong and enduring with a heart of courage. When asked what Astrid wanted to focus today’s blog on, she took time to herself and emerged with clarity saying, “Let’s talk about fear.” I think she’s right-on with this theme, as so many are trying to create new in their lives, follow dreams, heal from past traumas, or even just trying to muster the courage and strength amidst so much collective noise coming at them, that it’s tough. Fear can be all-consuming and paralyzing. It can bring out the best and the worst in us. Astrid wants to assure people that if she and the rabbits can do it, so can you.
Astrid has moved through a lot of fears since choosing to live with me. She used to fight fear when triggered by traumas and this was both in way of reaction AND saying “No, I will not be a victim.”
She’s since discovered that while she can still stand up to fear and victimhood, she also has another creative option that involves opening more to love.
Let’s listen in as Astrid channels the rabbit collective to bring forth their wisdom, while I do my best to be her voice.
She reminds us that rabbits are guides and messengers between worlds – bringing forth information as bridges between the Cosmos, Earth, and Underworlds – and so we can call upon them to help us navigate the journey. She giggles at the reference to “down the rabbit hole” I’m seeing in my mind’s eye because it truly is no metaphor, but a reality both in the seen and unseen worlds of rabbit.
That’s why she finds it funny we think of rabbits as timid, since they are sentinels and guardians of darkness and shadowy depths. She reminds us not to judge a book by its cover. Tricksters they are, and they use their sensitivities to navigate a different kind of journey.
Like Astrid went within to hear what wanted through, I had to get quiet to hear her message, which took me on a labyrinth-like adventure to show me the way of the rabbit.
Astrid says life is a shamanic journey and our fears can be channeled as way-showers for us and a way to take command of our lives. She reiterates with an image of her doing a dramatic thump on the ground with her powerful back legs – a sound that really penetrates here when done on our ceramic tile floors.
Rabbits thump for several reasons….to warn of danger, when they sense something that frightens them, to get our attention, to show dissatisfaction, and to make a point!
I feel it’s a way they move energy through, rather than hold it in and suppress it, just as their chewing allows for this and processing of energy and ideas, as well as that ever-wiggling nose, and those exuberant binkies.
But back to that shamanic journey…Native American legends speak of rabbit as both an ingenious trickster and hero, and that the Great Hare known as Manabozho created the world teaching sacred rites and ritual forms to shamans, as well as brought fire to the people.
Interesting that what many think of as a fragile and cute little fur ball would actually be associated with fire and creation! This goes back much further, but we’ll leave that for another time.
However, in this way we can surmise that understanding the rhyme and reason of things beyond what they seem will reveal the truth of what is beneath the feelings. We initiate ourselves via our challenges and discover that they would not be present if we did not actually have the ingenuity to outwit them.
Rabbit is also known as the “fear caller” who calls out to the very thing it fears until it’s noticed. This is twofold in meaning.
One, it reveals that indeed what you focus on fearing you draw in more of.
But two, you can also use your fear ingeniously as the very inducer to your gifts by calling fear forward to enlist courage and creativity.
Often times, it is when we are pushed to the edge and in survival mode, that we pull out our best to overcome the hurdles and surprise even ourselves.
This can take practice – each time utilizing new creative ways to move through something.
Rabbits encourage us not to let fear block our growth and opportunities. They are wonderful guides to lead us with their keen senses, ability to act swiftly and know what, and when, to embrace, and even the timing necessary to move out of a rut of stagnation.
Because in truth, if we wait too long, or never act, we just might find ourselves withering away – or in the case of a rabbit – succumbing to the very danger they feared.
They even infuse whimsical serendipity into our processes and induce the need to attune ourselves to the fine frequencies that will indicate timing for leaps of faith.
You may wonder when to make a move in some area of your life and get yourself paralyzed with choices, worrying about right or wrong, or allowing past experiences to dictate moving at all.
Rabbits help us to make effective choices with plans and teach us how to look before leaping. But then they DO actually leap. They know that they can’t wait too long, as that could be detrimental.
While we may not meet the fate of a rabbit unable to move from fear, we may create greater pain and suffering than is actually necessary if we let fear take over.
Rabbit does its best to listen to energetic waves within and without and makes a decision in every moment to keep fine-tuning their path. They don’t look at the end result. They simply navigate the moment and every twist and turn with ultra focus on what their body, feelings, and psychic instincts find most resonant.
When you see a rabbit still and alert, they are processing all the stimuli and tuning in to what and when they’ll need to act. They don’t move too soon and they don’t wait too long.
With time, we can nurture a similar process by teaching ourselves this moment-to-moment tuning in.
And what about that debilitating “victim mode” we often put ourselves in?
As some of the biggest victims there are, rabbits help us to change our relationship to this idea and ensure us that just as they’ve survived prolifically over the ages, we too can recreate ourselves, be quicker and more effective, and not only survive, but thrive.
In essence they don’t allow this victim mentality to rule their lives and nor should we.
Fear is actually creative energy blocked. So rather than creativity flowing, it turns on itself and becomes destructive, unconscious emotions running amuck until we nurture and open an outlet for it. And just as creativity is endless, so too can our fears feel like a bottomless pit until we understand this and recognize how to channel it differently.
This is also alchemy at work.
So, when something new is on the horizon, rabbit asks us to be present, tune in, and allow creativity to flow in the way of creating great plans with multiple ways in and out.
Don’t limit yourself.
Don’t be predictable.
Find new ways to blaze your path like the zig-zagging rabbit.
And if fear has you feeling lost in the dark, realize you’re not alone there.
Rabbit is right alongside you in the tunnels of shadow and unseens, gently nudging you with its moist nose of assurance that the fire within your sacred heart DOES know the way.
It may not happen immediately, just as it has taken Astrid a while to navigate this new way of fear through love, but with the right nurturing from yourself, you can find a little rabbit ready to join the journey with you.
Open your arms and let rabbit jump inside to nurture your instincts.
Rabbits are navigators of sound and can move through the darkness with ease.
So can you.
They support the sensitive seer and healer within each of us.
The part of you that knows without knowing.
Fear may not dissipate altogether, but like the rabbit, you might discover your own gift of fear-calling because you’re that clever.
Stop, be present, and look and listen with all of you in a way you never have.
Personal transformation is at hand.
You CAN outwit life and fears and have creative fun exploring the tunnels of possibility along the way.
Rabbit will be right by your side when you do.
Astrid would like to open the floor to our readers and friends. If you have a question for Astrid, please feel free to send them via the contact form and we’ll be sure to include answers, or craft a whole future blog around, your questions. Please send thoughts here: Contact Tania & Astrid
We hop into the third and last of this week’s new blog series with Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner. When checking in with her on what she wanted her first blog to focus on, she reminded me of her experience waiting for a couple of years+ at SaveABunny for someone to “see” her. Besides the founder, Marcy, and her wonderful staff of volunteers, no one could find the bridge within their hearts to really tune in to who she really is and look beyond their first reactions to her assertiveness. Astrid wisely used this behavior to help reflect to others a way for them to meet her in their wholeness of power and most importantly to step out of the stories and noise and come back to the presence of peace within the nature of their essence.
A way for her to filter companions as well, as she truly needed someone who can rise to the occasion and match her vibration so that she’d be able to bring through the gifts she came to share. I’m beyond grateful I met her needs to help be her voice and I strive daily to keep growing and learning more from her about how to drop into my essence more deeply.
Astrid shares that presence is the art of seeing and being seen and is also the hidden language of the heart.
When we are able to truly drop into our hearts and open all the tentacles of awareness available to us, we will be more receptive to all of the messaging around us and the truth of any situation.
We learn rabbit’s gift of vulnerability and how to tune our ultra rabbit senses into all the seen and unseen things and worlds.
By being ultra aware and present in the moment, we are able to see past illusions and masks so that we are able to really hear, feel, relate to, and understand what’s beneath the surface.
We are able to see.
And, when we engage presence to what’s within, we naturally become more authentic and transparent for others to see us too.
Still to this day, Astrid uses this technique with anyone who meets her. She invites others to step into this field of experience as a way to be present to what’s really going on within and without, who we really are, our motives, what drives us, and how we can cross the imaginary boundaries we think separate us from others, all of Mother Earth’s children, and the Cosmos itself.
Rabbits are very complex souls in embodiment.
They have and speak a language of their own that isn’t like a dog or cat, although you might find some similarities.
A true presence and willingness to find the peace within, patience, and engagement of your intuitive heart is needed to truly understand the gifts they have to share.
Here’s a great and very thorough article about rabbit communication to help anyone interested in knowing their rabbits more, are curious about rabbits, might be drawn to having a rabbit companion, or simply want to understand the art of presence through rabbits:
Astrid will be back for more next Friday, but for now she wants to thank anyone who takes the time to read this and hopes it inspires a desire to drop into your hearts and invite presence more into your life.
There’s a whole world of hidden language, gifts, and messages that await you within and without to explore.
You just might find a yourself enjoying a hoppier life and a more enriched way of living and being your truest.
Hoppy Halloween and magickal Samhain to everyone! I love that this day falls on Whimsical Wednesdays – The Artist’s Corner in my new blog series. It also happens to hold a very sacred energy for me, as my special needs rabbit, Cosmo, magickally navigated his transition on this day – the thinnest veil between worlds – two years ago. This ensured his strong presence daily with me, as he is forever reborn as a star within the deep Cosmos of my heart.
In his honor I’m having 140 bulbs of special irises and daffodils, sprinkled with a small number of tulips, despite a deer favorite, planted today for Spring blossom surprises. Auspiciously, our gardener happens to have our service day today (he comes every 3 weeks) and so it aligns so perfectly. I planted the few bulbs I had last year because there weren’t that many, but with much more this time and the ground where I want them a bit tougher to manage, it’s a true gift he’ll be able to help.
Today, I also received word that a very special creation by a fellow artisan is being worked on specifically because of this auspicious timing and energy today, which is bound to make what she’s channeling for me a truly magickal piece.
And although I’m not dressing up for Halloween, the above photo captures The Rabbit Faery me in my new rabbit onesie jammies this morning with my consort, Astrid, by my side, revealing the whimsical life I live daily.
You may wonder what all of this has to do with today’s blog theme?
Well, Life as Art truly expresses the way of the artist, mindfully creating every part of life as if it were a magnificent painting, musical composition, exquisite line of prose, moving chapter, or perfectly hand-crafted vision brought to life.
And you don’t have to be an artist to create life as art. You simply have to tap into your creative energy and allow the vortex of its power to spiral and weave into all corners of your experience.
How do we do this?
With intention, with imagination, and with love.
Every little nook and cranny of life can become a masterpiece of your own creation. You can infuse your own creativity into how you craft your day, design your world, envision your goals, and express yourself.
This can be through the way you style your daily wardrobe around how you feel or what you want to say to the world about yourself.
This can be through the way you design your home or work space around what makes you most inspired, nurtured, or invigorated.
This can be through the food you make and how you infuse it with love and intention and add color and texture, as well as seasonal delights to your plate that embody specific energies you would like to infuse more into your life.
This can be through the way you plant your garden and the type of blooms and plants that will bring joy to your day and anyone who sees it.
This can be through the way you journal your to-do lists with little doodles, on special paper or whimsical notebooks, and with intention of each thing being a different color on your canvas so you’ll have a wonderful painting completed by end of the day or whenever your goals are complete.
This can be through the way you are present to every detail that shows up in your life and start to understand it as a thread in the tapestry of life, seeing how beautiful things naturally weave together.
This can be through imagination and meditation the way you allow yourself to dream a few minutes each day and envision the possibilities.
And so on….
All of these and more can be ways to experience life as art and you discover the elements of alchemy at work that can seed new blossoming potentials.
The more you do this, the more you find reflections of what you love drawn into your life.
And the more you find the journey fun and adventurous.
It’s a way to be a co-creator and to understand the power of creativity to change your life.
And from here, the sky’s not the limit, but instead opens you to limitless possibilities.
A short, but hopefully sweet share to add to the goodies some of you may enjoy on this Halloween celebration.
“I was born on the night of Samhain, when the barrier between the worlds is whisper-thin and when magic, old magic, sings its heady and sweet song to anyone who cares to hear it.” ~Carolyn MacCullough
This day can’t pass by without a blog share to honor this magickal being who I have the privilege to call my best friend. Today is Astrid’s 4th birthday and it also happens to be the day we signed papers to close on our home we now live in here at the Forest Portal. It’s no surprise these wonderful things align together, as I know Astrid had a big hand in making this home possible for us, along with all of my other loves in the stars and the Faeries and beings of the land here – the very same enchanted ones Astrid and I are honored to now call our friends, as they visit us daily.
Astrid also is the one who helped me finish writing my story – the book that will one day emerge to share with the world – and she has inspired and supported this new part of my journey.
It’s been such a gift to watch her expand in hops and leaps, as well as a gift to experience the same through our coming together.
“Together” we are more powerful and can move mountains.
The photos here are of the birthday gifts I gave her this year – her very own personalized chair and a snuggly bunny blanket – both of which she loves. Today is extra bunny treats and love to add to the celebrations that continue, iced with tons of gratitude.
Thank you Astrid for calling out to me when I wasn’t expecting you and for choosing me to be your partner, co-creator, and witness to the growth you foresaw for us both. You’ve helped shape my new life and this place we now get to call home.
I love you Astrid and look forward to the continued journey of adventures we have yet to share.
What gives you indication that you’re in alignment and on the most flowing path of potential? Yes, a definite sense of greater ease and invigoration comes to mind, but it can also be a mix of new feelings flooding in alongside others. For instance, excitement mixed with fear, ready to fully take on the growth while swimming through overwhelming feelings, an influx of new people, ideas, experiences mixed with purging and fading away of old ones, greater peace and fulfillment overpowering any anxiety in the background, everything feeling more vivid and intensely probable although there are unknowns, happiness in the face of challenges, envisioning more about the future while the past flickers away, dreaming more and imagining possibilities even though you’re engaged in the day-to-day processes, and so on.
Alignment has you riding the currents, rather than swimming against them, but you are still aware of the currents.
Everything just takes on a different energy that no longer seems insurmountable. Everything feels attainable and you’re more encouraged, rather than defeated.
The 9th’s Virgo New Moon adds to this restructure time we’re in and supports a new cycle for you to embrace once you’re reviewed the old patterns that no longer serve you. And as you do, this puts you in a greater place of alignment with lighter energy that lets go of the fight.
This New Moon is helping to set the stage for the next couple months and brings an earthy wisdom into your life on a more sensual and intimate scale where your relationship to self, work, and others will figure prominently.
If you haven’t already, this is self-care time so that you don’t blow yourself out and put added stress on the adrenal glands. Perhaps committing to healthier routines of either exercise, better sleep, down-time, rest, eating better, tuning into your body and needs, self-nurturing, nature time, or all of the above would be a supportive place to start.
Being mindful of “perfectionism” tendencies and tempering that with more balance and a healthier perspective such as paying attention to the key details that will assist being most effective, rather than over-analyzing and trying to do everything. Then lessening up on achievement mentalities, proving one-self, and self-judgment to be replaced with healthy challenges that excite with soul growth potential, doing your best in the moment and knowing that is everything, along with acknowledging each step and embracing that the Universe doesn’t compare, nor test you….things are simply a choice expression you can either hold back or surrender to naturally depending on how you want to experience energy.
This is a perfect time to start a new project and nurture new ideas.
Pisces and Virgo are perfect compliments to each other for good reason. The flowy, boundary-less, self-less, bigger picture focused, watery, intuitively creative, day-dreamy, and feeling Pisces is tempered so well with the earthy, more methodical, practical, organized, day-to-day and task focused, deeply sensitive, tenderly caring of humanity, self-improvement motivated, and do-it mentality of Virgo.
So keeping in mind these energies, is a way to create balance to whatever processes aren’t working so that you can create new ones that bring in more synergy and effectiveness.
In my own life this works out to a Pisces Faery with a Virgo Bunny and a Virgo dad, as well as a mom with Virgo ascendant. 😉 Thank goodness for all of my Capricorn placements that slowly inducted me into this new life and balance needed. At first what seemed like a tormenting inner fight and separate personalities, now creates a harmonious and supportive partnership.
Hence, made me ready for my rabbit, Queen Astrid.
My t-shirt below says, “Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman with a Rabbit.” In this case, a Virgo rabbit! He he!!
Like many of you, I am feeling the “new” energy around this Moon, which has led to a lot of the things I shared in my last post that are upcoming once October 1st hits.
There’s been that increase in self-care focus, a healthy mix of exciting challenge with my next writing phase, and yes, even a new creative project beginning this Monday just after the New Moon, along with continuing to clear my life on many levels and create a healthy, organized routine that honors that partnership of energies within.
That included a two-month break from my book without even peeking at my returned manuscript from my editor, in order to refresh everything and create a new perspective once I fully devote to it.
I’ve created space for each thing in the healthiest of ways that works with my own processes and maximizes my strengths, while keeping me in alignment.
It’s also the healthiest and clearest way for me to stay focused on “right now” with things I need to complete this month while allowing things to percolate, as I have noticed that any time I turn focus on my book I am consumed with book thoughts, dreams about my editor and me working on things, and can’t think of anything else. It can be exhausting.
So, I temper that with doing only what’s at hand now, clearing energy, getting out in nature, nurturing my creative needs with other small, short-term attainable projects, and doing broader writing research through reading books that will aid me once I get back – to keep things percolating in the background without jumping hands-on.
This serves any anxious feelings that could have come up, as I tend to get really antsy to start things. By finding healthy ways to engage my energies until I CAN fully devote myself to writing, has put those kinds of feelings to rest and put me present in the moment. It also subdued the all-encompassing book thoughts so I’m not overwhelmed with everything.
And of course, I spend lots of time with Astrid.
This all also keeps me in alignment with energies I feel flowing and not getting stuck in my mind with trying to control things, but rather listening to energies and merging with what creates greater ease and potential leaps.
And speaking of leaps….we have one spot remaining in the upcoming Fall Equinox 2018 – Living a More Magickal Life workshop/event co-taught by Laura Bruno and myself. A couple of people have expressed interest so I’m always curious as to who will show up.
Every time a workshop forms, it’s like observing an energetic chess game where every move induces strategic placements and as some parts/souls move forward, others move back, sideways, or forward themselves in order to bring together alignments.
Laura and I have both experienced last minute shifts in our workshop attendees where subconscious feelings becoming prominent in one way or another based on how each person chooses what that means. Really interesting!
There are 8 days remaining to register – deadline is September 15th – miss Virgo Astrid’s birthday.
In the meantime, some additions are showing up for the event.
All participants will be receiving a special gift to add to our ceremony and to take home after.
I’ve also created a giant and powerful staff (one of my recent creative projects) that will also be revealed that day to the participants to activate portals during our experience.
And more surprises!
Next week we’ll know more about what will be a part of this day, as Laura and I are both doing last preps for the workshop then.
This is sure to take your journey to the next level.
Link below in comments to register:
Wishing you a fruitful New Moon.
Have you been feeling the pull to take your life to a new level of experience? I know I’m not the only one embarking on a new chapter in life right now and I know that for some this can be both a scary and exciting thing, as well as potentially intense. Change is not always easy, but can become a more fluid experience when you play in the fields of potential with curious wonder, rather than fight it. After all, these shifts are soul nudges that have answered your desires or evolutionary needs, both consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes what shows up might not seem aligned with that and yet even when those things seem separate and not connected, there’s something at the heart of it all in essence that may be a hidden gift, reminder, empowering opportunity, or core way to integrate the new path.
I’ve traveled extensively in the outer world to what are considered sacred and exotic spots, but it’s the journeys within and even the traveling between spaces and through all the energetic and emotional nooks and crannies that things like physical travel took me to, that have made all the difference. And while much of that travel has been on more etheric planes, even such things as the sacred tattoos I wear, have been ways to come into my body and harness spirituality more tangibly for this Earth plane I currently reside in.
I feel like we’re being guided through new doorways of experiences, relative to each, but that are operating on a whole new plane of existence – in essence helping to create whole new realities.
Starting all over can feel like so many things, including some unpleasant or uncomfortable variations, but mostly I see it is an opportunity, a potential to rise to the “now” occasion, a possibility for recreating from new choices – a rebirth – and a means to shape in that “now” what the “future-you” already is walking, without past restraints.
Sometimes you might have that tug of war within yourself, as you wrestle with old and new, or sometimes it’s as easy as slipping on a new pair of shoes that feel oh-so-much-more comfortable, spacious, shiny fun, and upgraded.
This last Saturday, 8/18/18 – a very cool number sequence to end on – marked the conclusion to my teaching Reiki, which has been an 11 year cycle. Synchronously, one of my students (who also captured this sneak photo of me teaching) was someone I taught Reiki 1 & 2 to, 10 years ago when she was 19. She now returned, at a completely new place in life to complete her 3rd Master Teacher level and boy has her life positively changed on every level. AND, she’s already put out there to her clientele, that she is available for teaching.
Talk about fast upgrades and changes, but it came with a lot of work over these past 10 years and willingness to keep saying, “yes” to what her soul was putting forth for her, even though her ego wasn’t understanding why and wasn’t fully on board with yet.
In some ways I’m in a similar place where my soul has put forth this inspiration and guidance, after culminating to an ending vortex of choice, and it wasn’t something I saw coming even though I toyed with things twenty five years ago.
That ending left me both fulfilled and feeling uninspired, completely soul spent, and nostalgic for a different place I call home.
In many ways, the “past me” might have seen the work I’ve been doing until recently as being my end result, and in a way it was – as it truly was more of a predictable soul path I was completing from lifetimes of build-up. Many of you likely can relate. And although not necessarily an easy path I was on, it was easier to melt into and only challenging in terms of moving into more vulnerability, clarity, and opening that throat chakra that yearned to teach, yet had the fear to transmute.
When everything pointed to endings 3 years ago, I was left with a choice and so I followed a nudge, went off into Nature (just as John Muir says, “The mountains are calling and I must go”), listened deeply, and found myself here when I might have been elsewhere.
This then put into motion a potential new cycle and so I began playing in this new field of experience and trying on how it felt. I decided to go with it, feeling a new level of inspiration was the very and only thing that would keep me here and that offered a completely new and freer embodiment, if so chosen.
Little by little, and quickly in some cases, I shed my skin and this led to now and a fresh start. During that time, a story began channeling through and I wrote when the moment moved me, while building a new life.
Perhaps the story reflects a journey intimately remembered or maybe it energetically rewrote what has been to what can be.
In any case and for what ever reason yet unknown, it is the only thing calling my heart besides seeing what is possible from living at a different and more balanced vibration.
This past Thursday, 8/16 – a day earlier than expected – I received my manuscript back from my editor (more on that shortly) and this coincided with Astrid’s early birthday gift arriving (her birthday isn’t until 9/15), which I’d ordered custom a couple of months ago, but was on back-order. No coincidence we both received something new and connected on the same day.
Astrid’s gift was this special child’s chair stitched with her name and a star on it, chosen to match my green chair and the green theme in our shared room.
I have both a green chair – my desk one – and a comfy arm chair by my book shelf, which Astrid loves to climb up and sit on. I thought she might enjoy her own arm chair so that she and I could both sit and mastermind together. Besides, every queen needs their special throne and now she has one that declares her star child essence as cosmic spirit in bunny body.
It took until yesterday to finally figure out where she wanted it, but the second I put it together and set it up for trial runs, she was exploring and jumped right in it quite comfortably.
But as the days went on, she was missing her bed and carrot cottage under the stars looking out on the forest by the door, so I moved it to a new location and put her other things back and she instantly said, “yes, that’s it!”
She climbed right in and sat there for long periods not moving at all, but just sitting up tall in it and looking at me from across the room, very regal and wise.
Then she started grooming herself and making it home. Good thing is, it’s super light and therefore totally mobile with a handle on top, so we can move it whenever she feels she wants a new vantage point.
She now goes to sit on it when I sit in my comfy chair and we gaze across at each other, feeling the immensity of our combined energies in this space.
It’s a bit like this new path for me, where I know it’s what my creative spirit is guiding, but will take some adjustments (likely a lot more work than Astrid’s few days of helping me to figure out where it belonged) in order to fit as comfortably in my own new “chair” as she does, but I’m following her example.
That brings me back to receiving my manuscript from the perfect editor I was guided to. I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for the opportunity to work with her and her feedback was just what I had hoped it would be to both support and kick me into deeper explorations with highlighted strengths and weaknesses. I feel as if I’m getting a whole new education and training in a way that works in better alignment for me than studying at a university, for example. She’s definitely my vibrational fit.
Since I had a workshop to teach last Saturday, I put aside editing and novel thoughts except for the summary letter, because I knew that once I dove in, it would be all-consuming. And quite literally, even though I still have yet to go through everything, as I’m creating the space for full digestion of it and all that I feel it will ask of me, it HAS become all-consuming on my mind. I find my thoughts are always going there and so I know where I’m meant to be.
Yet, just from her letter, I can sense the enormity of this commitment and choice I’ve made with it and why nothing else can be on my plate going forward. I was curious how I would feel from receiving the feedback and the only thing it brought up for me was this incredible sense of soul challenge to grow and deepen, which inspires me. I can also feel the reality of the creative limb I’ve flown out on with this, which presents further challenges to rise to, including even the genre choice I decide upon with it.
I definitely have my work cut out for me. I never do things simply, and it makes complete sense that for something to truly engage my heart and spirit to feel inspired to continue on here – regardless of any outcome with it what so ever – it WOULD have to be the biggest challenge yet.
Any fellow writers (or creatives), will understand the journey and it is one that can sometimes take years, of which I’m fully on board and committed to. So I truly don’t know the extent of time this project will take and I’m not rushing it so that I can immerse fully in the growth and learning, feeling that this is about much more than a book – it’s a whole new adventure and journey of mind, body, heart, and spirit.
And it IS a whole new playing field, as I’ve mostly only been a blogger and put out one self-published book – Spiritual Skin, along with a lot of creative writing when I was much younger. This one has the potential for traditional publishing depending on how vulnerably and flexibly I stretch myself and even how I surrender completely to living my dharma and embracing the new lessons this path is creating for me.
In any event, the old cliche is true…”it’s the journey, not the destination” that matters and I can really feel that in traveling this unknown territory simply for sake of bringing through vibrational potential that arises from the challenge and exhilaration of experiencing how far and wide I can fly on the wings of my creative free spirit.
It will definitely involve a constant cycling through of deaths and rebirths, as makes sense with next year’s growth year #13 – death / 4 year I’ll be entering come my birthday. The 4 energy will have me focusing on foundations, sharpening skills, working hard, involved in patient, methodical approaches to goals, nurturing of projects, and overall serious approaches to career, well being/health, and relationships of all kinds for balance. All of which I’ve been preparing for with deep cleaning on all levels and flowing with the creativity that was inspiring me this last 12/3 year I’m still completing.
I didn’t need to know this information on numerology, but it is definitely interesting to see how we do in fact follow the energy imprints regardless of not being aware of them playing out.
I always start experiencing trickles of the upcoming energies before they set in fully and I can see how come this Fall, pretty much exactly after Fall Equinox, I’ll be on a different trajectory.
This also falls perfectly with my sweet and dear Laura coming to spend a fun and potent week here at the same time we co-teach and host our “Living a More Magickal Life” workshop event on the Equinox – the official ending for me to this kind of teaching platform in general. It’s not often that we get in-person time together, but when we do it has always put into motion some huge life shifts for both of us and this coming together in a month from now feels like the most potent alchemy potential we’ve created yet.
So, between now and then I am readying everything, we have some other friends visiting, I’m getting fully organized and cleaned out, creating a workable plan to put into action, reviewing my editor’s feedback, tuning in, and beginning research – that way I’m fully ready to go, come end of September, and dive fully into things.
I see Fall and Winter perfectly fitting for nose-to-the-grind action, but in my newly adapted balanced way so as not to repeat my past neurotic tendencies to overwork myself until I “crash-and-burn.” This is why Dave and I have and will continue implementing a new well-being track into our life, while we also focus on other life goals we’re creating foundations for. It will definitely be a busy 6-8 months to get things ready for the next leg of the journey.
This is why I’ve released everything else, as a way of having laser beam focus on the new and yet without any old patterns being brought into that space and reality that is forming.
There is an invitation being extended to us all I feel where a portal of fresh possibilities await.
Have you also increasingly felt drawn away from things and toward completely new ones?
Where might you create more balance in your life so that you can be more present and vibrant to what is calling your heart’s attention?
Sometimes what we think we should be doing is only a choice away from what we could be doing.
If something nudges you there is reason. Whether it directs you into a whole new life journey or supports your journey with new, you will experience invigoration from listening to that subtle voice rather than dismissing it/you.
Thank you for being part of and supporting my journey. I not only support yours equally, but do my best to keep embracing each challenge on my own, as my contribution to the collective.
As we’ve settled back in this week after our time on the Pacific Ocean, I’ve felt another shift of energy grounding subtly, but profoundly in. I just realized today that it was four years ago at this time in August that we were exploring Alaska for nearly 2 weeks and that seems fitting since it was upon returning from that journey that I knew a big life shift had to happen, and now another is organically kicking in that will change everything once again.
We just returned from 10 days away along central and southern California’s coastline, and while it was a very nurturing trip, we could sense its full circle energy, as well as its helping to reflect and integrate the new upcoming.
Like when we returned from Alaska, I knew Orange County was no longer our home and in revisiting there at the end of this trip, we no longer felt any heart ties to even the few places we had once loved and helped us while we were there. We felt a strong closure and it also offered us time to explore, in thought and imagination, the new opportunities and possibilities we’re feeling into and that are presenting themselves.
We always loved Crystal Cove, and while it still is a magickal place, it offered us a chance to seed intentions, as it had in the past, but this time as a portal door only.
We did enjoy seeing some of our dearest friends while visiting and of course, having some vegan food indulgences at some of our fav restaurants just around the corner from our then house.
Yet, like the weddings that both started and ended this trip, there was a solidification of commitment to another level of experience, life, and relationship to ourselves and each other that seemed to get kicked up a few notches. We found ourselves dreaming bigger and feeling into new choices.
On our first full day back we went to the beach here and both felt a much stronger resonance to our Lake Tahoe waters and the peace and energies most resonant to our new lives, to be flowing through this mountain air.
Interestingly, while we were away, the smoke in the Tahoe Basin from the immense fires in California was sadly the worst it had been. It started clearing a few days before our heading home and is hugely better now than it was. If not for an upcoming Reiki workshop I’m teaching this weekend, we had actually considered gathering up the fur babies upon return, and heading out somewhere else again until the smoke cleared. Something about that and its timing is meaningful. And even while we were at our favorite Crystal Cove, the nearby fire had created an ominous sky of smoke that merged an interesting portal of two worlds.
The energies shifted along the journey as well, where we were relishing in the relaxation and all of the Faery beauty and ocean magick, but nearing the last few days we were already ready to go home.
Yet, there was much natural beauty and enchantment experienced that immersed us in Faery and vegetable garden delights, took us wandering along gorgeous coastlines, connecting with so many ocean creatures and cetaceans, discovering moonstones, tons of feathers from the amazing pelicans, seagulls, and hawks, and other sparkly quartz sea delights to create portal connections without needing to be physically there, and lots of yummy vegan food that included a very special, pampered evening with a friend who shared her new vegan cheese line with me, a gathering with friends, and some sweet time with Dave’s dad and stepmom.
It was no coincidence there were so many portals, abundance of blossoms, plants, and animals, water and faery energy, fountains, and even a wishing well….all perfect to activate new seeds of intention and reflect the promise of new.
And all of the ocean time coincided with a book I was reviewing for another author, set in Atlantis, that awakened more seed memories. I just sent in my endorsement review for the novel yesterday, which seemed to be a potent day for not just myself and Dave, but others, with things clicking in and setting the tone for another new cycle.
My Take-Away From the Last 10 Days:
Indeed there’s yet again another shift taking root, but each one is so mutable these days that it’s never about reaching any finalized stage or end result, yet truly about being most flexible and open to your highest joy and potential at every corner.
With Mercury Retrograde ending on the 18th, this all feels timely with the reflections, curiosity, explorations, solidifying – and for some – the intensity, around this time period, but also points to some leaps into new immersions just around the corner.
I feel another life-changing time period is kicking in for Dave and I, both individually and together. In many ways it does remind me a bit of the time period right before the Magick Bus adventure living in the RV for a year and a half traveling about. This took place after the impending changes following Alaska and the seeded intentions that were inspired. And while different energetically, there is a similar whole-new-start-vibe and more choices for how it all unfolds.
This Fall and Winter feels to involve a lot of focus, commitment, and work to solidify that change and catapulting to come in 2019. A lot is happening all at once and I feel that like the last couple of years, we will look back a year or two from now and be amazed at what was accomplished.
In many ways our trip was both surreal and like being in another world, as a bubble of magick always enveloped us, but while grateful for what it offered, we are happy to be home and so is a certain bunny, named Astrid, very happy about that too.
My Evolving Relationship with Astrid:
I had two dreams about her while we were away, so we were in contact, and since returning, our relationship has also kicked up several notches. We are the closest we’ve ever been, she’s been super attached to me, wanting to snuggle and immerse in loving connection, and even wanted me to hold her when I came home. She’s excited about the next level of work she and I will be doing, as in just two days I will be receiving back my manuscript from my editor – EEK!! – and the next challenging, but exciting step will kick in, as I review feedback and get cracking on the new plan in order with revision work.
But being back with Astrid has been very special and I’m loving our deepened connection and her continued softening into the love that she is. Our communication is impeccable and we are SO in tune!
She’s been extra excited running around in the morning and evenings, and watching me through the door, as I took care of my Garden Tower and plants and flowers outside. She’s actually been pawing at the window while watching me and anxious for the green yummies I just harvested for her yesterday.
Garden Tower Updates:
My small garden is doing so beautifully and is abundantly producing. I even have my very first two pumpkins ever (called Wee B Little pumpkins) starting to grow, which excites me greatly, along with another four tomatoes on the Charlie Brown Christmas tree-like tomato plants I saved, and nine Ring of Fire sunflowers all coming in – I smell Autumn just around the corner!
We and Astrid have enjoyed so many harvests and yesterday’s was no exception, as I filled a gigantic heaping bowl with every variety of herbs and greens and still there is tons on the Tower remaining. I gave everything a good pruning and watering and we have happy plants! Since the strawberries and lettuces are done, I no longer have to net the tower or any of the plants, as the forest critters are not interested and being entertained and indulged with other yummies.
And speaking of Garden Tower, my original one that used to be at our Orange County home, just found a new loving home with my dear friend and vegan cheese connoisseur/creator and her husband. The friend I mentioned who pampered me with this:
I couldn’t be happier! I can’t wait to see the Garden Tower flourish at their beautiful home, which is like a little Italian villa.
Somehow that feels full circle too, that my original one I loved so much and was one of the joys that kept me going while living there, has come into the right hands – the last thing I had a tie with in OC that always was in the back of my mind, is now put to peaceful rest and will assist my friend in the blossoming of her new business and intentions, as the metaphor for her experiences created in the garden of life.
Writing & Workshop Updates:
As mentioned, I’ll be receiving my manuscript back in two days, but since I’m teaching on Saturday and will need time to digest all that I hear back, I’ll likely not be starting back on revision work and the next stage until sometime next week. That said, it WILL be my main and only focus outside of life and shared ventures with Dave. Likely even more so now, as every step gets increasingly demanding and challenging. So, while I will continue to blog now and then, as inspired, it will still remain on the less side and not like my once daily shares.
As always, you can catch more inspiring and fun, quick updates on my Instagram page though, which has included the photos you see here in this blog, plus many more!
The day before I left, I received some new bunny additions to my Wonderland office and upon returning I had two new dragons awaiting me. These all anchoring in new energy to inspire my writing again, along with some small shifts in redecorating I often do here and there. Astrid also has a very special birthday gift arriving tomorrow – all just in time for beginning the book adventures next week.
I do feel rested and rejuvenated from our little vacation and the last month off from writing while its been with my editor, so I’m ready to dive back into writing with my wise partner, Astrid, and the rest of my spirit guides.
This Saturday ends my Reiki teaching days, as I put closure to that with the last Reiki 3 Master Teacher workshop held here. It will be a lovely day, as one of my first students joins to finally get her last level in, while another lovely soul comes to both review and cultivate her teaching skills, helping out as she feels so moved. I have some ideas percolating for this workshop that will make this a fun ending. I know a few people were sad not to be able to join this and the last Reiki 1 & 2 workshop, but I do firmly believe that all things flow in alignment and there is a beautiful reason yet unseen that will reveal itself in perfect ways.
And lastly, today marks exactly 1 month remaining to register for the upcoming Fall Equinox “Living a More Magickal Life” with Laura Bruno and myself.
The last day to register is September 15th – synchronously that’s also Astrid’s birthday. 🙂
To reiterate, this is the first and last time she and I will be teaching together and this event will end and celebrate my own closure with teaching in this format at this point in my life. So, it will be a special event with inspired topics that will assist all joining with how to move into that new with wings! We continue to tune in and be open to what wants to come through for this, but as with all gatherings of this kind, not only do surprises always show up, but the effects of what takes place on the seemingly subtle planes will continue to unfold long after the day in potent ways. So keep those keen senses about you, as magick increases before your eyes.
There are still a couple spots remaining. If you feel called to join, you may register here:
Keep believing and may all possibilities be open to you!
You may recall that it was one year ago, today, that magickal Astrid chose me and I embraced her vision of a different level of experience than what I thought at the time. She had the foresight of something bigger and more challenging for me and she was right, as since she came into my life things have transformed rather quickly and continue to reveal surprises with every new experience I open to. Most of it has been laying new foundations for what’s to come, but in saying “yes” to her, to the journey, and ultimately, to me, a domino effect is in motion.
Last year Summer Solstice was on the 20th – this year the 21st – which holds both Astrid and Joy in the magick of this incredible portal that has become very significant for me and a favorite life-changing gateway.
My sweet angel bunny, Joy, transitioned on June 21st two years ago, which was under a Full Moon Solstice energy. And Astrid stepped in on Summer Solstice, one year ago. The full story of Astrid’s journey to me was chronicled in this blog post: Divine Surprises ~ Following the White Rabbit Blew Zephyr In & Cosmically Aligned Astrid
So much has changed since her arrival into my life and part of that has ignited the true magickal child within me, as I’ve set up her and my Wonderland Room to fully nurture our essence and activate our heart’s imagination and vision in bigger ways.
Although I started my book before she came, it is with her at my side that everything came pouring through rapidly and took on a more expansive embodiment. She challenged me to go further, to not accept less than my highest with it, and provided a channel and doorway to access more to bring onto the pages. I find it beautiful that I will be completing this second phase of the book by month’s end or sooner, aligning with the Solstice gateway energy. The first phase was writing the full story, the second was my editing and reworking of it, and third will take it out of my hands to an official editor. There are many parts to the process, but I’m committed to going through each in the fullest of ways possible, without rushing any part of it.
This last year also saw a lot of expansion for Dave and I, as we moved into our new Forest Portal home and rapidly put together our shared business almost overnight. With Astrid came anchoring of visions and setting foundations for growth and opportunity. She reminds me to take each day fully and not get caught up in details, nor try to bend the outcome, as they will come together with each step taken.
There’s a level of presence, purity, courage, and commanding recognition of self that one must meet Astrid with and this can only be if one is consistently doing so in their life in totality. And hence, she has me stepping up my game, so to speak.
And in this year, huge transformations for Astrid have also taken place with the softening of her defensiveness and aggression that had built up from a past of not being seen for who she is and not being treated with the value she deserved. The barriers to her heart have been melting away, as my own have expanded further with her. She’s revealed her magick with much more to come! And, she’s met my own child heart in innocent exuberance, as we play together everyday.
She is so engaging and loves to run, hop, and twist in the air with delight, shake her head and ears, as I say her name with playful energy, and teases me to come chase her. We have a little play ritual where she waits for me each night in the same place and we first snuggle, then I tap her bunny buns and she takes off jumping (or rather springing in the air) and racing, waiting for me to catch up and then takes off this way and that, each time looking for me to keep following like a game of tag. Once she tires she throws herself between the cushions on the floor and that’s the sign it’s time to snuggle again and so we do. I can’t tell you how fun it is and I just laugh out loud the whole way – another lesson of balancing work and play and to have fun while enjoying life fully.
We have many fun rituals and also sweet ones…all of which I cherish. She is extremely wise and intelligent, knows her name and if I call her she will come. She has her ways of communicating to me when she wants things and anything I tell her, she fully understands.
And although she’s super independent, she has no problem with me picking her up and holding her, which I only do if necessary, as truly I like to honor her freedom and encourage our equality.
I’m excited for the mysterious unknown that will continue to unfold, but in the meantime I’m happy for what is.
So, today, I just want to acknowledge this incredible star child who has honored me with her partnership. I don’t know where the journey is headed, but I know we will have fun the whole way, while we expand into more of who we really are.