The following blog post is not a new one, but a reshare of one I wrote 5 years ago that feels to be an important theme to impart once again. The next few months are increasingly going to be VERY full with everything manifesting right now to manage so I will try to share new things, but a lot of messages are key to recycle, as we journey along the spiral of life and need to keep revisiting things from a new perspective that will at some point (perhaps now) finally take hold for us and click into action! This one speaks to those of you facing fears or inertia to make those shifts and embrace your creative spark wanting through. It also speaks to my own processes I’ve continued to engage and currently am involved in, in writing my new book. I have found my authentic voice and regardless of what I’m writing not really fitting any particular genre out there, I’m writing it nonetheless and not comparing myself, not trying to be like any other writer, not trying to emulate what’s popular, nor am I worrying about what others may think of it, nor spending time wondering what will become of it. I’m doing just what Sarah (below) advises – listening to the creator within, while SUPER JOYOUSLY enjoying the process, and it’s leading me on MY right path. That’s all that matters. The journey, not the result. The BEING, not the TRYING.
Here is the post reshared here, as I couldn’t just reblog it:
As many visionaries in the fields of healing and creative arts are stepping up and into their unique roles they came to embody, challenges may present themselves to overcome. There are many factors that potentially may be blocking, limiting, frustrating, or discouraging you, but they all stem from the illusions of fear and in some cases can be hard to see for yourself, as you know just how to ingeniously hide and disguise them with self-sabotaging finesse. Sometimes the seeming challenges can also be linked with collective, divine timing and therefore patience, flow, and taking aligned, synchronized steps may be needed and remind yourself to enjoy and be present in the moment, rather than live in the future or past.
One of the recurring themes of fear I see is that of self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, or self-devaluation. There is a tendency to disregard the unique gifts you have as being valuable and instead to compare or compete with others, rather than simply embracing and honoring what only you can share with the world. Energy gets diverted and drained in trying to emulate or live up to what you see “out there” rather than focusing and honing that energy into simply creating and channeling forth from “within.”
Some may feel that my approach of staying within my experience of art (as one example) and not immersing myself in other artists’ works, may seem counter-productive. Why would you not study, view, take technical classes, etc, for the thing you are doing as your work? Would you not want to refine it and have it be something more? My question to that is, who is judging the “more” and by what definition of refinement am I to be working towards? While I honor all artistic expression as valuable, my answer is, by creating from my heart in each moment and learning through the experience of doing, do I grow and evolve and create art that is uniquely from my expression alone and what I am meant to create, regardless of what standards the outside world has boxed art into.
This is not the way or process for everyone, but for me, it is how I stay authentic and true to what wants to channel through me. This is, in many ways, the way I operate in all areas of my life. I am not naive, but I do know that the innocence I retain in drawing from within, is my unlimited creative power.
To express what is most naturally authentic to you in your own way is what makes a difference. There are reasons we are each in an individual body, even though we are collectively connected. One of which is to naturally be who you are and to allow that to channel through your heart in the way that mirrors the gifts you chose to birth in with. Let your light shine.
This theme is perfectly and simply expressed by Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book, Simple Abundance: A Day Book of Comfort and Joy. I hope you find some gems of supportive insight in what she shares:
You Can’t Be Original – You Can Be Authentic
One of the reasons many of us have trouble getting our Work out into the world is that unconsciously we’re competing instead of creating, which always short-circuits the flow of inspiration. A friend of mine is a gifted playwright. She denies herself the pleasure of seeing anything on the stage other than revivals of classics, preferably Greek. It’s too painful for her to watch contemporary work because she is addicted to comparisons.
Why do we make ourselves sick competing against strangers? I believe it’s just another sophisticated, seditious form of self-sabotage. If we don’t measure up, why even try? The fault line of comparison runs so deep in the lives of many of us it’s heartbreaking. I know women who quake at the thought of school bake sales because their brownies don’t sell as fast as those of another mother, and the psychic phobia over Halloween costumes is the last frontier in feminine psychology.
Five years ago when I published my first book, which updated Victorian family traditions, there were few popular books on the Victorian era available. But the late nineteenth century was just about to be rediscovered, and within two years there were so many books in the stores the market was completely saturated. Today it would be extremely difficult to find a commercial publisher for a Victorian book even if you channeled Queen Victoria as a spirit guide. This doesn’t mean if you are writing one that you should stop. The cycle of creation is cyclical. There’s a reason the past is prologue.
Sometimes you’re ahead of your time. Mozart was known to qualify his genius by declaring he was composing for future generations. There are literally millions of aspiring and working artists writing books, publishing poems, selling scripts, directing movies, auditioning for roles, designing clothes, entering juried craft exhibitions, starting home-based businesses, looking for an agent, praying for a lucky break. Don’t panic. It is impossible for you to be an original. But you can be authentic.
“God has lots of movie ideas, novel ideas, poems, songs, paintings, acting jobs,” Julia Cameron reassures us. “By listening to the creator within, we are led to our right path.” You aren’t the only one starting a mail-order catalog this year, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t know exactly what niche yours will fill perfectly. Why do you think you were offered the spiritual and creative opportunity?
Once you accept an artistic assignment from the Great Creator, it’s yours. Nobody can take it away from you, unless, of course, you relinquish it. Nobody can duplicate your work because there’s no one in the world like you. They can imitate, but they can’t duplicate. Your work is born of your sensibilities, temperament, experience, emotion, passion, perseverance, attention to detail, idiosyncrasies, and eccentricities.
When you’re authentic, so is your art.
Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, to discover what is already there. ~Henry Miller
Even Kings and emperors with heaps of wealth and vast dominion cannot compare with an ant filled with the love of God. ~Guru Nanak
When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. ~Lao Tzu
I can’t tell you enough how much I’m witnessing both in my own life and that of others, an incredible, consistent, and rapid amount of change taking place in really big, sometimes surprising, yet always supportive ways. There’s been an increase in the last few weeks of full-circle experiences, messages of re-strengthening boundaries, a need to continually reassess and realign ourselves with what’s truest and most authentic to our spirit and heart right now, the power of choice with committed action to back it up, wake-up calls in terms of health and life shifts, and experiences paralleling timelines, but on a whole other plane and frequency with the closing and opening of doors rapidly sliding into manifestation.
I keep hearing from many about these reflections and have been witnessing a wide gamut of contrasting experiences from people including death, suicide, marriage, endings and beginnings of relationships, births, pregnancy, career changes, reassessing life paths, health crisis, what was going forward suddenly and abruptly shifting gears, but also immediately opening to a better potential.
It all reiterates to me the power of choice and action that supports it without worrying over the fine details and whether it’s “the” answer, but merely following what you’re guided to follow in the moment and trusting All That Is/Universe/God/Goddess/Source to handle things from there.
Declaration of intent and willingness to move forward in all ways will manifest doors opening and closing for us that will mirror the paths most aligned with us following our truth right here and now. So releasing the worry over whether something is it right or wrong just simply can be surrendered, as we’ll know immediately where things are leading once we make a choice by what manifests as direct result.
We seem to get too caught up in decisions and tormented by being “wrong” when there isn’t a wrong…simply a trust that whatever you do, you’ll be supported in the highest way. So we just need to believe that and be open to how things manifest, as result of our movement forward, and its always being for our highest good.
Anyway, transformational energies are swirling around big time and this beautiful Moth (pictured above) that Lynne and I connected with on a hike at Fallen Leaf Lake while she was here, really embodied so much of this frequency, not to mention embodied the peaceful trust I speak of.
She was so serene on a pebble at water’s edge, with waves rolling in, both of us around her, a man and his dog with us whom we came across and were talking with, and even us nudging her pebble she sat on, while talking to her. She was anchored and peaceful, but also so royal in her presence, undisturbed or thrown off her own inner balance and harmony by anything around her.
If you look closely at her, especially her head and body, you might see what I do….how much she reflects her Faery Queen essence in this Moth form.
Powerfully potent energy that just mesmerizes me when I look at this, which is why I am sharing this photo, captured by Lynne and courtesy of her for this post. If you remember, I shared my own magical photo of her from the other angle in another post, but this one really captures her essence and otherworldly energy.
All of this also is in line with a conversation I was having with Laura yesterday about living a magickal life and what that entails, which we both reflected on in our own lives and those around us.
We both agree that to live a life of daily magickal experiences this entails a great deal of discipline.
That seems counter-intuitive, but in fact goes hand-in-hand.
I can’t tell you how many people I know and have seen, who energetically and physically crash while trying so hard to “be” something, rather than simply “being” because they think that will make the magick happen. Or who wait for the magick to start happening before they will commit to their authenticity and heart fully.
I’ve also been seeing people go through more periods of heavy-duty flus, colds, or energetic illness suddenly than they ever have (or perhaps hadn’t had) in very short periods because of extremes and perhaps still “trying” to fit a certain template of “being” they think they need to do in order to live magickally, when in fact magick is simply “being” in the discipline of authenticity and harmonious rhythms flowing in and out.
The key to life, at least that I’ve discovered, is balance so that you don’t have those highs and lows and ups and downs in dramatic ways and when you learn to discipline yourself in this way of being, a magickal life unfolds effortlessly. This also entails saying “enough is enough” to old patterns and cycles, so that you can continue to flow on your own spiral of life.
I feel that this stems from your committed responsibility to being you/the Source of you for the highest good of all concerned.
I went through the crashes myself. I went through the huge pendulum swings of extremes. I always considered myself an extremist in fact….and yet that wasn’t actually my “nature.”
My and our nature is harmony and a return to natural harmony is our spiraling journey I feel.
We really are at a point where everything instantly manifests and there are tighter and tighter reins on your luxury to deny or hide things from yourself, as well as assessing if you’re outweighed in any given area – big ones that come to mind is over-giving or over-receiving.
And in the spirit of this constantly shifting energy and my own need to keep honoring my own authenticity, boundaries, and most harmonious state of “being,” I have had to again reassess some things recently and even had a big flow-in of opportunities to help me feel that out with.
So as example, I’m sharing some of those changes that entail my connection with others, but I am experiencing quite a few in other more personal realms as well.
As mentioned, I’ve recently experienced a bunch of full-circle things that herald to me a big leap about to take place, but also reflected how things can come back around at another frequency/whole other plane of experience when you do the work.
But also, as I’ve mentioned in past posts, when you’re in process of, or about to make huge changes, a lot of things will flow into your experience that could confuse you at first because they may be the very things you’re shifting out of.
This is simply part of that transformational process and an opportunity to revisit your relationship to the things with greater peace and anchoring and without “charge” or “trigger”…like that cleansing that stirs things up for us to simply embrace as natural cycles.
So, also recently, I’ve received requests for my past services circle round in another abundance all at once and a ton of messages, which provided me opportunity again to anchor deeply in my authentic knowing of where I am now and what to say “no” to very clearly and with loving gratitude.
I’ve turned away potential new clients, credited back purchases of art prints, and said “no” to a bunch of requests, potential opportunities, and services, as simply it was most aligned with the new energy I’m focusing on and committing to, to do so.
And I did so with utmost gratitude and reflection on the beauty of it all and the honor that it was.
Sometimes things like this confuse people that maybe they’ve made the wrong choice to go in the direction they have, could possibly play on desperation energy (really big one I feel circulating these days) in reflection to still being in process of believing in their abundance or strengthening their belief in the new, or simply could feel like a message to split their energies between old and new.
While none of that would be wrong to do, as all things will lead us to exactly where we are to be in the timing that is right for each of us, and yet these could also create that straddling of two worlds, continually feeling confused and unclear, drain you of your energy because of not supporting fully what is speaking most authentically to your heart, or block other opportunities from coming in.
After all, if we truly believe we are abundant beings, then we ARE abundant beings. There isn’t only one opportunity that will arrive and by saying “no” that’s it. You have the ability to manifest limitless opportunities and each one will provide a different level of potential.
There isn’t just one way to do something for sure. Yet there are ways of choosing that can make you feel more in flow, clear, invigorated, and in alignment.
All that to say, “I hear and feel you.”
I’ve also had to continuously go through these processes in my own way over time as well.
And with discipline and practice, I’ve been able to move into a peaceful and easier flow that has enabled me to consistently experience balance now and harmony, whereas I mentioned, I used to experience extremes and then energetic crashes or physical manifestations of stress created by this feeling of being pulled in opposing directions, or of not owning who I am and claiming my authentic voice fully.
It is with doing so that I’ve come to be able to say I no longer experience stress, anxiety, worry, tormenting inner dialogue (to the point of thinking I’m crazy), fears around who I am and showing up as so, crashes, extremes, physical manifestations of being inwardly divided, relationships of all sorts that were doomed to go no where and reflect what I wasn’t honoring in myself, nor the need to monitor foods I eat other than remaining true to being 100% vegan to match my truth, and instead only draw in more of this harmony I experience.
It’s a drastic life change that others wouldn’t notice unless they really knew me “once upon a time” in all ways. I’m so grateful for all of it and what it’s all taught me, not to mention am grateful for the reflections that show up.
But I do have to mention that things have shifted even with recent offerings I’ve put out.
I had foresight to say when I did put them out there that I didn’t know how long I’d be offering them and they may be temporary. And now that has manifested.
This includes (at least at this time) my not taking on any more new Intuitive Energy Guidance/Coaching clients after I finish working with current clients already with me. I’ve so been enjoying the beautiful and so meaningful and timely way in which these soul contracts have come into being. I can’t say enough how I honor these people and the courage they have. I also am awed by the soul connections we share and I’m totally devoted to them with all of my heart.
I feel that my listening to guidance was aligned perfectly with these contracts with them, but that I am to revisit full commitment to honoring now one I have with myself and the collective with full devotion toward what I’ve put into motion.
This in part due to my need to put all that I have into my current project and something else soon entering my life.
I also will only make myself available to teach Reiki this Summer to the people I have already spoken to offering this to if they desire.
That means I’m back to no services offered, but all in order to be able to offer more later from the depths of my heart.
I’ll still be creating Magick Crystal Wands, as that feels in alignment with immediate soul-satisfaction and desire to create something tangible with my hands that balances the writing I’m involved with – it’s all about balance to me! But these are the only two things I’ll be engaged with.
I can’t thank everyone enough for your understanding. It’s truly meaningful to me how supportive you’ve been and how much love you’ve shared during my own transformational journey I’ve chosen to vulnerably be open about in order to support you into your own authentic choices.
Also, beginning this Sunday I will likely not be blogging for a while, or in very limited, short blogs because I will be focused on completing the first draft of my book before heading off to Australia on May 10th. I’ll feel that energy out, but my sense is I’ll need to withdraw there for the time-being.
I need to conserve my inspiration and creative writing for that project. So during that time I’ll only be sharing via Instagram/Facebook if you happen to be on those platforms, since they are quick ways to still stay in touch and share some daily inspiration and beauty with you, while creating that healthy balance for me as well.
Here’s to peaceful transformation for us all!
I love you!
“You enter the forest
at the darkest point,
where there is no path.
Where there is a way or path,
it is someone else’s path.
You are not on your own path.
If you follow someone else’s way,
you are not going to realize
While others indeed help open collective doorways, pave potential opportunities, and clear some of the debris and challenge along the way, only you can be you!
Even though you might share a similar energy stream with others, bringing your authenticity, voice, and heart into things will create a path that is yours alone and will need to be carved by only the frequency you carry.
Hence, courage to journey into the unknown and support the way that most aligns with you, will take you down a path where your own light will bring clarity with each step taken.
I just wanted to share a few updates on current offerings and also to reiterate and clarify other things in relation to past services, as I get so many emails and questions that it seems a general message is in order. I’ll likely share a post that goes into life path shifts and recreating anew at a later date, as a ton of big nudges keep coming in on that, but for now just touching on some things people have been messaging about in terms of what exactly I AM available for these days.
So, as mentioned, I’ve had some pretty big life shifts and that has included a need to change the course of things in pretty major ways, focusing my time and energy differently, releasing some things all together, and basically recreating my life and creative output in a more “now” aligned resonance.
That said, I’ve stopped offering many of the things I used to, took breaks from some, and morphed others. But from messages I’ve been receiving, I think there was confusion that when I came back to offering the Intuitive Energy Guidance sessions and was open to teaching maybe a couple Reiki workshops this summer, that that entailed I was back in action with everything.
This is NOT the case. And although I’ve been inconclusive about when, if ever, I might return to some things, I feel I should be more definitive now even though I don’t ever like to say “never.”
I’ve continued to receive requests for tattoo designing support and although I’ve been turning them away stating it’s not something I am able to offer at this time, my gut tells me it is not something I will be returning to – period.
So there may come a point, when I have time, where I’ll remove things altogether on my website that has referred to these services, as I just simply am not in that mode anymore and would like to avoid any further confusion.
That said, you are still able to purchase my book, Spiritual Skin, on Amazon and that will always be available.
I’m grateful people have been so understanding, as well as have been very grateful for the interest, and while it’s been a good test of my boundaries and honoring my needs, I also may simply create a clear cut there.
There are many creative services or products I also have moved away from offering and yet my creative output has continually shifted into new forms. So while I don’t offer custom paintings, nor am I creating any original pieces right now, I have created new channels like with the Magick Stones (which I’ve stopped at this time and was part of the Magick Bus journey of energy moving through) and Magick Crystal Wands (the current and only focus), which will continually evolve and have moved one into the other, but are movements of creative energy I embrace flowing through in the version that fits what is “now” aligned.
I was at one time making crystal jewelry, selling a lot of crystals, creating Crystal Illuminations paintings, had an Etsy shop, created crystal elixirs, and was available to procure crystals for people. This has all taken a pause as well and although now and then I’ve been able to offer crystals ready to move on, this is no longer the case, as I have no more to offer.
I get a lot of messages and emails on people looking for particular crystals and similar ones I’ve offered before, but I can’t be of service with this either. Nor can I continue to create some of the custom pieces in other genres I used to since I’ve shifted focus.
Some things at a later date, may morph back in a new way, but none of this is currently available. So if you find an old post on any of these things, it simply is just that…an old post and not a current offering.
Update on the wands…I WILL have more in the future and do have some custom pieces I’ll be working on so this seems to be the current creative output I’m being guided to channel alongside my other work. I also do still have one of the last group of wands remaining, if interested. It’s been an interesting one in terms of its energy and power, as it’s had a few people vying for it then shifting gears, one that had moved forward with acquiring and then things changed mid-course again and so it sill remains. I love observing the process. So, if interested, the Neptune & Nymph Wand is still available.
In terms of the Intuitive Energy Guidance sessions, I’m fully booked with March and April now and unavailable May, so the next availability will be June. This may only be offered through the end of this year or through end of Summer, so if it has been of interest you may want to let me know, as again I’m only taking 2 clients per 5 weeks on a first-come-first-serve basis.
I no longer offer Reiki sessions, in-person or long-distance, except to my Guidance clients.
And in terms of Reiki training, I’ve opened this to teaching 2-3 workshops this Summer while I’m in Lake Tahoe. I’m in process of figuring out scheduling with this and contacting people who had inquired, so if you’re interested you can message me with your availability too so we can get those going and on the calendar.
And really that’s it, as the rest of my time I’m focused on my writing and cultivation of other new creations/offerings, plus a long term vision I’ve received that will take my energy and time to manifest.
So short recap.
What I’m NOT offering:
- sacred tattoo design consultations/creations
- logo designs
- Reiki sessions: in-person or long distance
- custom art
- ongoing crystal sales
- Magick Stones
- original art other than what is still available via my website: Original Art by Tania Marie – mostly I just have the paintings in the Universal ARKitecture gallery available & the In Lak’ech originals, but no more prints
- Crystal Illuminations paintings, crystal elixirs, and crystal jewelry
- ongoing workshops – Reiki, Crystal, etc.
What I AM offering:
- Intuitive Energy Guidance sessions for 2 clients per 5 weeks (exception of April with 3 and custom created sessions with already established clients) – to be determined for how much longer
- limited Reiki workshops this summer in Lake Tahoe
- Magick Crystal Wands
I hope that helps clarify things and I apologize for long explanations, but I get so many messages, I’m hoping to help make things clear and avoid confusions.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to two upcoming trips beginning with Sedona on April 5th and then to Australia in May for 19 days that both feel significant for the next phase of things. I’ve reconfigured my time in Australia so that I can utilize the first part of May to complete my current project. I feel things amping up and the need to be riding that stream of energy.
Again, thank you to everyone for the understanding, the continual loving support, and reflections of interest. It really means a lot to me, more than I can express in words. I am so grateful to be able to have the ability to connect with you all in the varying ways that we do, to witness your own shifts, and to be a part of the changes we are all creating together.
And I am SO excited about all the new things being created by us all and can’t wait to share what is coming through just as soon as it’s ready to be revealed.
In love and creative magick always!
“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~Lao Tzu
I’ve continuously found myself being in silence and craving it more and more. This has led to an increased time spent in nature as well where I can hear the whispers carried in every breath of life around me. And when not outdoors, I enjoy a good portion of time being and working in silence, listening to the music of my cosmic heart. I’ve always been one to listen silently and not talk much when around people, unless of course I’m teaching a workshop. However, over time, even that has incorporated more silent presence, as I’ve created space and encourage others to lead and share, acting more as a facilitator to move the energy and support empowerment.
It’s interesting to reflect on my past when I was more insecure and without the confidence or courage I experience today, and remember that even then others were reflecting the power of my silence and presence, which took me time to understand consciously.
I would often hear later that people would share things about me to others, or be grateful for something I did or said, when in actuality I NEVER ONCE spoke a word. At least not through my mouth and voice, but in fact I was speaking through the silent presence I’d embraced from very young and telepathy that comes through in that state of being.
Silence has an energy to it that is like no other source and it is from this stillness that you find everything you will ever need and all that you forgot you knew.
It’s important to go out of your way to cultivate silence in this modern world where it practically ceases to exist, as it is invaluable. When you create even 5 minutes of silence each day, it will change your experience and you will become aware of just how much the external stimuli is affecting you. All of this external noise creates internal noise, as our minds become more restless and active. Silence and inner stillness will lead to an experience of wholeness and happiness that comes from experiencing the divine inside you and conversely, also the divine inside everything and everyone else.
As we learn to experience this state of inner peace consistently and consciously, we recognize more what is our energy and others’ energy and get stronger at being able to create and duplicate that same inner peace and silence in the middle of any situation. We learn to take back control of our lives and strengthen our abilities.
Silence is something that not only do I find balancing and recharging, as well as supportive to being more present, mindful, and aware of all the energetic subtleties and guiding messages, but I also find it a way in which I can go deeper into the watery abyss of my authenticity, hear my intuition and truth, and exercise expansion of my heart. It’s also a way to access deeper connection with everyone and everything around me.
“In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
I’m constantly in awe and in love with the limitless depths of the heart. We’ve come to understand the importance of exercising the body, but it is also important to continually exercise the heart in taking it to new levels that will access its expansive potentials to heal all and to create anything we dream. Silence helps us to touch into those spaces in between and to understand the language of love.
Silence speaks volumes and is a way we can speak heart to heart and allow love’s stillness to envelope our souls.
This takes place even without words needing to be uttered.
I am grateful for the moments that exercise my heart and draw me deeper into the stillness within.
May you be inspired to embrace the power of sacred silence and the heart.
“Silence allows you to watch your mind and become aware of the thoughts that you may be acting on unconsciously. When you see the thoughts, you can make a conscious choice to act on the thought or change your mind, instead of going along with the noise. I have seen people who don’t want to look at themselves keep going until something happens that makes them stop — a sickness or an accident — but it gives them that reflective, quiet space where they can face what is difficult in their mind. We each have a unique purpose to fulfill in this life and inklings can come in those quiet moments.” ~Swami Radhananda
This short and simple message of support and inspiration comes to us via a dear friend of mine who shared this lovely Tarot deck with me she’s enjoying the simplicity and clarity of messages from. She felt that readers here might enjoy this card’s message and I had to agree. Little did she know that it went along with a share I’d posted yesterday via Instagram/Facebook, so I’m adding that message in partnership with her card.
Please click on the photo above to enlarge it for the message.
And here is the synchronous message I posted, in case you didn’t see it and are not on social media.
It was about the path I’ve been walking, especially during and since our little over a year RV adventure, before settling in Tahoe and how it took me on a rich exploration to the depths of ancient Mother Earth womb energy and catapulted me through portals of expansiveness.
This is what I shared about the journey:
I dared to go further and at times felt pulled back like an arrow in order to shoot forward with focused intent.
It wasn’t all easy, as greater levels of vulnerable courage were needed to expose myself, to reveal more pure, unabridged energy at the well of my essence, and to be okay with holding the energy of misinterpreted darkness for others to reflect and throw energetic arrows at, while I stood in my truth as the only deflection, which allows the arrows to penetrate the core so they can be alchemized before returning.
I have felt the loud silence within and without that can be deafening and also beautifully penetrating.
I’ve communed with the harsh realization of collective belief systems and conditioning residing in my own DNA and made better friends with them.
I’ve stumbled and I’ve gotten back up.
I’ve spoken the truth of my own fear of not being able to do justice to the message I’m being guided to channel through my own ever-evolving expressive embodiment.
I’ve seen the other side of blind faith, as I’ve walked through doorways, bent time and reality, and made new breakthroughs that were miraculous in nature.
I’ve unearthed grief and known both tiredness and freshness with life and how every emotion is potential alchemy.
I didn’t know what I was doing or how I was going to do it until I did.
Life is all about the eternally present NOW unfolding and being willing to experience it with faith and humbleness of learning from a clean slate where nothing applies that you once did or knew.
Power lies in having trust during challenging situations, as no level of worry will see us through. Trust in the highest good for all always unfolding, regardless of how that looks. Remember that we’re conditioned to judge the human experience, but there’s always a bigger picture at play that we can believe in beyond reasoning. Our resilient hearts will understand when our limiting thoughts step out of the control seat.
I now find myself free.
And yes, this has been due to my self-belief and willingness to stand in my own uniqueness without comparison or worry/fear of judgment. I found it fun to see how a couple exacts I wrote in my share were in the card’s meaning. 😉
And more than ever I’ve decided to stand on my own in my own truth, as I’ve been seeing how even others living more in a different version than the 3D reality, or are on similar trajectories, are seeing something completely different than I do or engage in ways that are more relative to them than me, so my solace is simply within.
Love and creative magick to each of you in deepening your own self-belief or continuing to live it in the loud silence of your own experience, so that you may access that magick key to an inspired life always.
Giving to Yourself Supports Greater Giving to Others ~ Ways I Gifted Myself for My Birthday that Create Greater Alignment & Vitality
In a world of challenging energies, heaviness, and spiraling dynamics, I like to focus (of course without denial or suppression that other realities exist) on ways of creating new realities, embodying greater personal peace, inspiring others, engaging creative energy, activating more personal empowerment, bringing a sense of solace and safe haven, or sprinkling a bit of magick, innocence, and joy where all hope feels lost.
You may recall my post from a couple of weeks back, Embodying & Emanating Essence ~ How I’m Integrating Holistic Being On Every Level, where I mentioned making literal outer changes and taking actions to align with my inner shifts, as a way to fully activate and move into that new experience and space in greater embodiment of wholeness. I mentioned some of the ways, and with my birthday approaching, I also gifted myself a few special things to reflect that as well.
My favorite birthday was two years ago when I went on my epic Iceland trip. And while I’m not going anywhere on my birthday itself this year, I decided that a few very special gifties were needed!
I find it incredibly important to support and nurture ourselves, as we often are doing that only in the “giving out to others” mode, rather than ever thinking of that giving including an outflow to us too. And when we actually do so, we are completing that circle of giving and receiving that is necessary and healthy. Not to mention, in these challenging times, taking care of yourself, loving yourself, being extra gentle with yourself, and doing special things for yourself go a long way.
This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant….it can simply be giving yourself an hour a day or each week just to yourself, making yourself a special meal, taking a bath, walking in nature, taking yourself on a date, getting yourself flowers, saving up for that thing you’ve always wanted by putting aside a little at a time just for you, telling yourself you love yourself, committing to creating boundaries that support you, or buying that special something “just because” or that you’ve longed for.
So this year I decided on three special gifts for myself, since I’ve been saving to be able to invest in my dreams, my joys, and long-term goals for my path I’m working on being able to share in the near future. Since I already devote lots of time for me now and have created a more balanced life than I ever had, which includes nature immersion on a regular basis, I felt some gifts on an alignment basis were in order.
Since I’m an artist of life and by heart, I tend to do everything creatively and to live that out loud as a form of creative power in expression, as well as a celebration and reverence for the temple body and physical life we ALSO are blessed to experience as humans.
Hence, my tattoos, which embody spiritual significance, healing integration, and potent personal expression.
This year’s gifts, however, included a new hairstyle to match the essence of me, some quartz crystal singing bowls I’d been considering for a while and got confirmation that now was the timing, and a very magickal, treasure-of-a-book collector’s item to take me into the realms of my imagination and truest being.
So, after trimming 4 inches of “old energy” off of my hair a few weeks back and to match my “highlights from the Fae” – silver gray streaks strategically growing in naturally, and to honor my desire to not color my hair in any way anymore so that it can do its thing and reveal my true and ancient “roots,” as well as support me into my own “Nature,” I decided on a non-intrusive, creative, magickal, enhancement.
This included adding extensions to match a dream I had and visions that kept coming to me over the last few months of this look from another me self, off-world, which just so happened to also mirror a long-ago brief style I had for one very Aquarian Age, Cosmic modeling shoot I did.
It just so happened that I was now back near where my old hair stylist I used to go to when I lived in Lake Tahoe and Reno many years ago, was still working at the same salon there. She also just happens to have a little girl who was born on my birthday. 😉
I discussed my desire, shared some photos, and poof! Two days ago on Valentine’s Day (that wasn’t planned, but aligned time-wise to reinvigorate a new meaning for this day than its roots), it happened.
Briefly, she added smoky platinum extensions that would enhance and work with my silver gray streaks at the top and have both a natural and ethereal quality to compliment the Cosmic and magickal energy I wanted to create and embody more of, while still having this ancient Earth feel.
It’s hard to capture in photos, as the color and look of the hair shifts in different lighting and with movement, but there are long streaks here and there from top to bottom and in the front, with about 4 inches of extra length along the ends to create contrast and creative flow.
The look shifts, depending on what I wear, but ultimately it is very Faery, but also mirrors my star “roots,” ancient Earth embodiments, and even some Native Indian influence that is key for me too.
Anyway, what I have discovered is immediately it shifted how I felt, including a deepening into myself and even more peace, and joy, as well as alignment with the reality I’m creating.
And because of the shifts, I also saw that another wardrobe purge would need to happen, as some of the things I have just no longer mesh with this energy. Energy is so interesting to experience with both subtle and big changes, making it clear what resonates and what doesn’t. Makes for easier choices overall!
Out with the old and in with the new!
But on to birthday gift number two to self. This was in support of how sound has become a pervading element and integral thread to my life through my voice, song, sound channeling, music, sound healing, and more.
And so I was drawn to the perfect quartz crystal singing bowls for me. I’d felt some may come for a while now, although before hadn’t been drawn to them, but was never the right time. Then a few months ago these showed up and they became one of my early birthday gifts to myself.
I originally thought I’d only be getting one, but it became perfectly clear that a pair was the aligned perfection for my desires, intents, and frequencies I wanted to create, support, and emanate with them.
This led me to a 432hz binaural beat theta wave pair of A-note 9 inch bowls – talk about potent balancing and invoking conscious dream, receptivity and opening a gateway to all things watery.
Some info about these:
“Alpha brain waves are present in deep relaxation with the eyes usually closed and while day-dreaming. The relaxed detached awareness achieved during light meditation is characteristic of Alpha and is optimal for programming your mind for success. Alpha heightens your imagination, visualization, memory, learning and concentration. It lies at the base of your conscious awareness and is the gateway to your subconscious mind. The voice of Alpha is your intuition, which becomes clearer and more profound the closer you get to 7.5Hz. Alpha Brain Waves (8 to 12 cycles per second) This brain wave indicates a relaxed state of mind, a state of relaxed alertness, good for inspiration and learning facts fast. In this meditative mind state we tap into internal “antenna” like qualities, visions, powerful ideas, mindless creation of the incredible, internal feeling & sensations. Studies have shown that learning in Alpha State enhances the performance of students. It also develops the interest of studies in students more than they have ever learned in tense environment. Frequent gaps of 2 to 3 minutes after every 30-minute study period relaxes their minds and the alpha state will prove its efficiency with great ease and fun. But learning is more than just absorbing information, so changing the state of mind to operate Beta, Alpha and Theta is most likely to produce the best learning, cognition and creativity, while also staying in a relaxed state. Alpha is the brain wave associated with relaxed, daydreaming states of mind; it’s a state of relaxed, detached awareness. Many people are “in alpha” while watching TV. Alpha is often called a “hypnogogic” state because you may experience spontaneous mental imagery.”
I love them and they are perfect for creating that balance and return to natural harmony. I’m enjoying exploring more and more and combining them with my own sound, tibetan bowl, and my chakra drum, which was a gift to myself almost two years ago, to see what I can tap into and activate!
Then we come to my third gift to self, which was cool on timing of when it got into my hands, as it couldn’t be sent to a P.O. Box, which is what we have, so I had it sent to my parent’s house and it just so happened to arrive right before we visited them two days ago. So, right after my hair appointment we went to my parent’s for a pre-birthday dinner celebration and I was able to see it for the first time and then take it home.
A little about this book, which I posted on my social media shares:
This incredible body of work wrapped up in an equally exquisite masterpiece of highest quality and creatively passionate delivery is the most magickal book I now own. I’ve been so excited to receive it, as it is one of my birthday gifts to myself by this multi-faceted, award winning British fine art photographer, Kirsty Mitchell who also has a background in fashion design and costume making. The story behind the book and each image is so beautiful and poignant… Dedicated to her mother who passed from cancer in 2008, the project took 7 years to come to fruition through her dedication and love and some costumes and props for just one shot taking up to 6 months to create. The name of the book speaks for itself, taking you through dream worlds that reflect memories of the stories her mother used to read to her as a child, now brought to life – a way to make fantasy real and to step into it completely. The book is a personal journey and includes each image’s story and behind the scenes. This book is huge and beautifully embossed! – 4.5 pounds and almost 15″ x 11 1/2″ x 2 1/4″ with several shots of each scene – some with fold out pages. I’m in love!
This book felt like the perfect companion to my new hair that helped me step into those otherworlds I now felt more in aligned frequency with. And perfect as to the reality I want and am creating – life created as art, the magickal made practical, Earth and Cosmos merged, dreams manifested…..
I know I live life by the beat of my own drum, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And like I always say, if I’m happy and not hurting anyone, and potentially spreading a little inspiration, joy, creative support, or magickal pixie dust fun along the way, then I think that’s an enhancement I can contribute to the collective and not a detrimental one.
I’ve learned that whether simple or more extravagant (it doesn’t matter), self-nurturing and investing time, energy, and/or resources in yourself, your healing, your growth, your business, and your dreams and passions, really make a difference in having more vitality, clarity, potency, and drive to fulfill your path and have more to give to others from a richly authentic place of who you really are.
I no longer feel depleted, resentful, or in lack because of the things I’ve implemented to take care of myself and have more balance and equality in my life with input and output. I don’t rely on others for things I want or that make me happy and healthy. And I don’t feel any lack because success and joy isn’t measured by needing certain returns, but knowing I’m doing everything I can right now to support my well being and in turn, highest good by the way I then can connect with others without attachments of any kind.
So much rapid change taking effect in very literal ways for everyone and I’ve found it to be directly tied to greater embodiment of one’s own essence and authenticity, which then emanates clearly through. It’s connected to the messages we’re receiving about stepping up, raising our vibrations, and living out loud with greater courage and integrity to our nature of origins. And when we do, everything shifts in direct reflection to that in our environment, interactions, experiences, realities, and even how we start to look physically in correlation to our energetic frequency glowing from the inside out.
And the more we embrace who we are and aren’t afraid to put it out there, the more others feel greater ease and comfort in doing the same too.
I’ve written before on how my lifestyle and life path changes have changed so much for me as a result of embracing deeper integration of my uniqueness and what feels most authentic to myself, along with making balance and harmony a foremost focus and experience.
And while we speak often about the emotional, mental, and spiritual ways this happens and takes effect, we often overlook the physical because there’s an undercurrent of negativity placed there or invalidation of it because that’s thought to NOT be part of “ascension” ideas and living a spiritual life.
Time and again I’ll reiterate that it’s about integration….physical and spiritual together in harmony and each reflecting the other.
“The very reason each exists is to integrate wholeness and realize the partnership they share, one channeled through the other.
The physical becomes sacred.
The spiritual becomes tangible.
And together they exist simultaneously in harmony.”
(Excerpt from my book, Spiritual Skin)
I’ve always been quite literal in making outer transformations or taking actions that match my shifts internally or the shifts I desire to make, so as to create a space for me to grow into. Such has been the case, for instance, with my sacred tattoos. But it’s also been with things like my hair, my clothing, adornments, and even my body or face morphing.
A lot of this is that I tend to feel “not myself” if the outer doesn’t match the inner or where I’m headed and some of it is as a direct result of needing to express my personality, unique creative self expression, and way in which feels most aligned with the “real” me.
Some simply happens naturally and some with intention to match the natural.
So, as mentioned, with so many shifts lately for me in very dramatic ways, I’ve seen this naturally express itself with how I look and my desires to share how I feel.
Some results that naturally happened are my hair growing long very quickly, my silver grays growing in abundantly, but in a very almost deliberate way (someone recently called them “highlights from the Fae,” which I’ve now adopted and love), my body taking on a naturally balanced, more Earthly fullness rather than my waif self, my skin finding its healthy, clear balance because of my own, and my body becoming fully adorned with sacred and balanced art that feel like adornments reflecting the inside out I couldn’t imagine not being there (some people have shared they can’t imagine me without them and that they’ve never seen tattoos placed in such a way where they are like they’ve manifested themselves in transparency of revealing what’s underneath.)
And of course the way I dress has gone, and continues to go, through constant transformation, which is why I move out clothes often and bring in new that are more reflective and help me feel like “me” just as my tattoos help me to feel more at home in my own skin.
I immediately can feel “off” if my hair or clothing is not matching the vibe of how I’m feeling and what I’m creating in my life currently – literally, making me feel quite energetically icky and out of place.
And over this last year that has taken a huge turn, as mentioned already in my hair taking its natural, ancient and cosmic “roots”, and just this Saturday while visiting and taking my parents out to celebrate my mom’s upcoming 74th birthday tomorrow, I knew I needed to have my hair freshened and purged.
My mom used to be a beautician (what her family did back in France), so she’s done my hair a lot over time and Saturday we chopped off four inches to my very long hair. This felt necessary, as the ends are literally and symbolically the oldest parts and carry the energy of the past…so it felt important to literally shed it, just like my dreams of snake skins recently, and how I regularly enjoy body scrubs to slough off old skin too.
Being that my hair had grown so long, it still remains so, but it was amazing once again to see and feel how that made a difference even without getting a whole new hairstyle – yet. 😉 I not only looked different, but felt completely lightened and new and it even activated the next phase of change upcoming with more hair shifts to match dreams and visions I’ve been having of my origins.
But on top of this, I’ve purged, minimized further, and refreshed my wardrobe as well, and all of this has really become outwardly a reflection of the magickal parts of life and my wanting daily to, in all ways, live fully as all that I love and really am, and will keep me clearly focused on the path ahead in the most embodied and aligned way.
This has seemed to morph me literally into my Faery Bunny self, with hints of cosmic, ancient, and water nymph/mer qualities.
So while people may have felt this about me, it really isn’t something one would have to “feel into” anymore, as it’s becoming quite literal.
I feel and see this to be happening more and more with many people, as things shift and we’re lighting up those latent parts of our DNA, stepping up and out, and integrating more of our Cosmic and Earthly selves, we are seeing this in how we find ourselves walking in our human bodies as more of the otherworldy beings we have retrieved and remembered, through physical form here.
Exciting times and feels so much more natural.
So while most people know I’m a rabbit lover or perhaps a crazy rabbit lady 😉 some may not know how far that extends, but truly my life is immersed in Faery bunny energy through and through.
These are just some photos of the magickal bunny wardrobe I have and wear below. Photos include: 3 sparkly vegan rabbit shoes (I normally only wear flats, but bunnies have me reaching to new heights again these days when I feel so called), matching vegan rabbit purse, a one-of-a-kind amethyst carved rabbit ring, a purple satin skater dress with dancing bunnies, an aqua poodle skirt with bunny border, and my Peter Rabbit collection of vintage 60’s dress, wedge heels, vintage Beatrix Potter original sweater, and my Peter Rabbit statue from Laura.
Laura has even said I’ve literally turned into a Faery bunny, like this photo that briefly captured this in me seeping through in one of my shape shifting moments a couple of years ago and now seems to be the pervading emanation these days, although has integrated with the other elements I shared above, too. I’m curious to see how this will evolve and morph in the days and months ahead.
But what you don’t see pictured here is that my wardrobe and sacred space also include a vintage rabbit cardigan, 4 rabbit t-shirts, 3 rabbit tank tops, 3 rabbit leggings, 1 rabbit sweatshirt, several rabbit pendants and rings, 1 rabbit scarf, rabbit flannel jammies, rabbit artwork, a stuffed rabbit I sleep with (the surrogate bunny to my little ones that they enchanted), a rabbit support pillow, crystal rabbits, and other rabbit pieces for my sacred space.
And the rest of my wardrobe contains various other elements of “me” and anything that doesn’t I either have, or will continue to weed out.
I’ve fully cracked open the Cosmic egg and all the “me” is oozing out for sure without worrying what others may think. Just simply about living a life of passionate purpose by looking within and seeing what truly moves me and melting into that love.
One sweet friend of mine shared, “I love your daring use of fantasy fairy elements proving that fashion is for fun and personal pleasure and in this case also the delight of others.”
It reiterated to me, that when we embrace what truly brings us the greatest joy, express that in any and all forms, and understand how we can utilize all aspects of life and the material in creative, healthy, and valuable ways, we also bring that same energy to others to experience through our expressions and to mirror the relative possibilities within each other to do more of what supports this too in life.
So while I could just feel and emanate my essence energetically, I’ve been guided to literally take this through to all levels of experience, to include the physical as an expression of consistency and action in a holistic way and through every avenue of my existence here.
Having peeled back the layers I find clarity in my divine desires and that all things I’m about are truly encapsulated in the focus of what inspires me most. Channeling this into soul fulfillment, dream manifestation, and the reality of my choosing is the gift of letting this desire move through me and that includes moving through me in any and all ways – sharing and expressing my deepest divine desires and beingness.
One of my oracle tarot cards I recently pulled, shared this beautifully,
“Desire sometimes gets a ‘bad rap’ in spiritual circles, or it is celebrated as being something that should be pursued without restraint. The truth that will serve most spiritual aspirants best is somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Desire need not be a distraction from your spiritual journey nor a goal to be pursued at any cost, even to your own integrity. Desire on the spiritual path can become a way to know what is going to move and inspire you enough to see you through the challenges that arise when you want to create a contribution to the world. If you long to bring your ideas to life, rather than keep them only as ideas, then desire can become enlivening fuel for the spiritual path, motivating you to act rather than hesitate. Searching for your true soul desires helps you find what it is you can believe in more than fear or doubt.”
I believe that living our authenticity in any and all ways that feels truest to ourselves and expresses our passions is effective use of creative power and supportive of personal empowerment and frequency, joyous living, and inspirational motivation that aligns and supports us with our intents, while igniting similar fires within others.
Plus, it simply brings a little sparkle of joy to the day, some giggles, and smiles…and if nothing else, that’s worth a lot!
A writer writes.
An artist creates.
A human loves.
A rabbit hops.
A flower blooms.
A star shines.
Get busy BEING.
And it doesn’t hurt to have a magickal Peter Rabbit to remind you of who you are.
My sweet friend Dawn of Reiki Dawn shared this on Facebook and I felt it important to not only repost there, but to share with the blog world too, as I know so many of you are empaths like myself.
These are all things I’ve had to learn, very much the hard way, especially being a boundaryless Pisces without distinction between myself and the collective. And I can say that implementing them has made all the difference.
These don’t make you any less service-oriented or compassionate. If anything, you become a more empowered, unconditionally compassionate example and you have that much more to give authentically and intentfully.