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Responsibilities…When Does Peace of Mind Come?


This post is inspired by a beautiful friend of mine, so many others in similar situations, and even myself from the past.

She is an amazingly strong young woman who is always giving of her heart and has  been taking care of everyone since she was a little girl and is now feeling lost, depleted, and on the verge of breaking. And that breaks my heart to know.

I hear from many clients and people I know about their heavy “responsibilities” that are the focus of their life currently. So many have been taking care of themselves and others for a good portion of their lives for one reason or another, or have felt the need to put their lives on hold because they had to take care of everyone else first. Sometimes this may be sick family members, younger siblings, family or friends that are in challenged time periods in their lives, and sometimes this may be the ideas like “I can only do what I want once I have “x” amount of money, get the job I desire, the house I want”, or any number of other “things” we “think” that we need first in order to have the peace of mind desired.

I feel that peace of mind will come when you have peace of heart…and that stems from going within and taking care of yourself, listening to and nurturing YOUR needs, asking yourself what YOU desire, providing yourself the space and self honor and respect to feel what you’ve been pushing aside for so long in order to endure and carry on with the heavy load of responsibilities you have been carrying out.

And then doing something about it today.

I do understand how challenging and emotional it can be to see loved ones go through pain in any way. It’s really hard not to want to be there in all ways and help them. And yet there is a fine line of balance we have forgotten. We are either all or nothing it seems with things. We seem to intellectually “get” that we can’t change others and we can’t help anyone if they don’t want help. And we seem to understand how we also aren’t being of the highest benefit and support if we haven’t yet learned how to take care of the same exact needs they reflect to us about ourselves.

But we just can’t seem to mesh mind, with heart, with actions. Things get stuck and lost in the reasoning, suspended there as an “idea”, but never translates into actualization.

What good is it to have the thoughts, if you aren’t able to walk in their shoes and fill the empty space they are simply holding?

It can be tough to turn inward and create healthy boundaries for ourselves especially when we see and feel pain all around us, but the pain is also within us…pain that yearns for our self love. And when we listen and support that, we are actually being of most support and responsible service to others.

On last week’s’retreat, one of the guests was in a similar situation, as the young woman I mentioned above. She, too, takes care of her father and has been heavily weighed with “responsibilities”, duties, being overloaded, and unable to think straight on what she wants for herself. She shared that it was very hard to walk away and go on the retreat and she almost cancelled at the last minute, but she knew she just had to or she would break…and if that happens she is also of no benefit to her father or anyone else for that matter – including herself. She had some very close calls in her life that were clearly messaging her that the time was now to take care of herself and her path’s needs.

I’m happy to share that she emerged from the week saying it was the answer to her prayers, feeling renewed and able to see with fresh eyes and get out of her head to make changes when she returned home. She added that the trip “has forever changed me…I feel the dance again and am fully embracing it!”

We often think we have to take care of everyone and are responsible for things, then we end up either in a victim or martyr role, completely deteriorating and the people we thought we were trying to help still have the experiences that they do regardless of how much we keep giving to them. It’s very loving of us to want to help and take care of others, but I have to wonder, when will it be time to take care of you?

I see people have recurring illnesses, “accidents”, challenges, and blocks the more they keep taking care of everyone else and I ask them if they are nurturing themselves in any way, which usually is answered with a “no, I don’t have time for that”, or “I’d like to, but first I need to make sure of this or that and that everyone else is okay.”

The highest gift and service we can provide is by being an example to others and loving and nurturing ourselves into wholeness. Then we are able to truly hold that space of wholeness for our loved ones and others to step into theirs if they so choose. As well as, are able to truly help because our supply of well being is abundant and constantly renewing. We become empowered to empower others, rather than enabling.

I believe we create our experiences by the choices we make and the perspectives we choose to embrace. There will always be something else that will delay us, as long as we agree to that.

Make today YOUR day to choose differently. Life will reflect the empowerment and love you embody.

Full SuperMoon in Aquarius Energy – July 22nd, 2013


full moon aquarius

Artist: Susan Seddon Boulet – Aquarius

I’ve found myself in the last week or two needing more rest, sleeping deeply, dreaming a lot, and waking up a bit later than usual. There is a lot going on in the inner realms and to trust and embrace the needs to retreat and nurture what is within is essential. This allows for things to naturally percolate while you are still actively engaged in a state of awareness, even if not fully “acting upon” at the moment. This will support leaps to take place as direct result.

It’s really important to become more and more acutely aware of your vibration and frequencies moment to moment and when and what seems to drive it up and down. It’s essential to find your center and realize that everything that takes you away from this is simply a temporary story that is not aligned with your highest vision of the soul and an illusion that does not have power over you unless you give it power.

Sitting in stillness of mindfulness is a powerful place and the energies for today are supporting this, as shared in Laura Brunos’ Oracle Report for today. It’s always nice to see we are synchronously feeling in alignment.

Here is a short summary of the Full Moon energy we are immersed in today:

This is a time to be the beauty of who you are and to express your truth and creative self-expression as is aligned with your highest. What you put out there right now in intention is powerful. This is a time to realize your power and say “yes” and “no” firmly, and mean it with all of your heart. It’s also a time to take stock of your energy and see how it can best be used efficiently, realizing where you are focusing over-time in areas that no longer are deserving of your energy, time, resources – be it job, relationship, or any other focus. There should be a balance of giving and receiving in all that you do.

I’ve seen this play out in my own life, where I used to give and give, but the channels of receiving were not as open, which ultimately will block the energy flow in all areas of life to bring in your abundance. And in opening the receiving end in equal balance, it has been a hugely supportive shift that is in more natural alignment and creates so much more joy and benefit, not to mention harmony and release of false resentments.

Everything has to be able to spiral in cycles, flow freely, move in and out. So really stay aware of your energy and vibration and see where things are blocked, unbalanced, where there are fears or you are focused on things taking away your attention or adding unnecessary anxiety. Have you become comfortable with and found a way to “put up” with things that are not aligned and limiting? Where are you placing your attention and how might it be helping you to avoid what your Higher Self set out for you this life?

People use all sorts of vices, including relationships and “only” focusing on helping others, and turn their backs on the relationship with themselves. It’s a common, but mis-interpreted thought that this is selfish and once again takes us back to the point that you haven’t anything real and lasting to provide others, if you haven’t taken care of your own needs. And by aligning with your soul authenticity, you will discover your divine collective service that flows naturally and without karmic creation or hidden resentments and one-sidedness.

It’s time to heal the healer and come to know the dance with your essence. Release all that doesn’t serve, that distracts, that blocks…and reveal your authenticity so that it can help you laser focus from the heart.

There is a lot of energy now supporting you to be more courageous and confident and feel ready to really take some bold leaps in your life with greater trust and inner knowing. Aquarius is also very altruistic and expansive in terms of your connection to the collective and community – in essence – cocreation. It’s also a very progressive, forward-thinking and moving sign that assists us in learning to be unconditional, unattached, and authentically compassionate from a place of power. And Leo, where the Sun currently is, will assist us in realizing the balance of how this comes about most productively and efficiently, when we know our true selves and bring forth our radiant heart’s self-expression and creative power.

You come to be of greatest service when you have learned to serve your truth.

And the Aquarius Full Moon reminds you that everything can be, and is, more fun when done together as this cohesive experience. Balance is always key. And learning discernment and timing for logic and intuition and when to take action and when to rest and be still is what we are learning.

It is time for you to be who you really are despite anything anymore. Do not be afraid to be you. While it may seem you are being different than many around you, I assure you that once “you” step out, not only will you feel more alive and realize there was nothing to fear, but you will suddenly find yourself drawing in others doing the same as you. This is where to focus – not on the vibrations that take you away from this, but that lead you further toward you.

There’s a focus with this Full Moon on energy and what you do with it, how you express it, and how well you’ve learned to process and manage it. In general, I feel this is our focus anyway, but being spot-lighted currently if you haven’t taken note already. You are an unlimited being and the creative potentials you have in how you want to perceive and utilize the energy is up to you. This is a time to exercise that. Aquarius is an air element so there is focus on the mind and shattering old patterns of thoughts and beliefs, releasing them fully so you can break out and explode into the more freeing expression of you.

Don’t be surprised if there is a feeling of build-up right now, or irritations being heightened. It’s merely sharing that you can no longer compress and repress things. If you just allow things to release through creative expression you can avoid having a blow out or shattering take place to your life. Taking responsibility, you can release things little by little and assist the process to be more natural and manageable than if you continue avoiding it and having it explode.

You can’t afford to hold anything in or back anymore. It’s going to come up and out whether you like it or not. Do whatever you are drawn to, to release it, but do it – be it exercise, dancing, writing, singing, painting, etc., express and do it, but with the awareness that it is for the highest good of all concerned.

Yes, your shadow aspects are at center stage, but realizing they are friend, not foe, you can utilize their assistance in integrating their messages for wholeness. Be gentle with yourself and others. There is no need for blame, only the courage to take responsibility for the now moment you can change it all in.

Creative power is one of your most valuable gifts available innately to you. It’s sad to see it forgotten and underutilized. Make it a goal to harness it from here on out. It is your ability to be creative and keep challenging your unlimitedness that will assist you in integrating things with greater ease, efficiency, and harmony. It will also keep you in your center and able to realize you can always get back there if momentarily taken off-center with less and less down time.

This Full Moon allows the visionary you to come to forefront, to be inspired with vision for creative action on a global level. You are capable now of changing your way of thinking and feeling towards a more expansive experience that has profound effects and reach for the highest good in collective and future productivity.

Finding the balance of emotion and intellect, you can harness a powerful source and force for inspired creation. Trust, flow, allow, let go, and be willing…You are in process of creating a new reality with clarity of vision that will contribute to the New Earth experience that has lasting effects because it takes into account all aspects of your highest soul vision in relation to the collective.

Some Silliness and Nature Keeps the Doctor Away


Barbara's Lake - the largest of only 3 natural lakes in the OC at the James Dilley Preserve

Today, Dave and I made time for our hiking, which we enjoy doing (sometimes biking or beach strolls), even amidst a very busy schedule we each have. The photos throughout are from the lovely surroundings we were able to enjoy on our afternoon jaunt.

Not only is sunshine important to get the needed vitamins and joyous energy (of which I became recently aware I needed to up my dosages of – vitamin D – due to my not getting out on my travel vacations I used to do more often especially in winter and the amount of sun I used to be exposed to since I’ve  been very focused on creating). But I always see and feel the difference when I DO make the conscious effort to balance out my days, as I am more invigorated and the work I channel goes faster and is infused with a refreshing perspective I gain from my inspired and nurtured time in nature balance.

Some Benefits of Vitamin D-3 which you can get from a good healthy dose of at least 20 minutes a day of direct exposure to sun or through supplementation:

  • Affects Muscle Strength and Coordination
  • Maintains Tissue Function
  • Affects Energy Production
  • Affects Immune Function
  • Affects Gene Expression Vitamin D-3 affects Cell Development, Cell Growth and Cell Function
  • Plays a role in Cell to Cell Communication
  • Has been shown to be effective in Depression Therapies
  • Has been shown to be effective in Autoimmune Disorder (MS) Therapies
  • Has been shown to be effective in Therapeutic Cancer Programs
  • Has been shown to be effective in Cancer Prevention Programs
  • Has been shown to be effective in Lung Health Therapies
  • Influences Nervous System Functions, central and peripheral, through its modulation of Neuronal Calcium
  • Is involved in the creation of neurotransmitters. Vitamin D-3 possesses
    anti-inflammatory properties and has been shown to be effective in Rheumatoid Arthritis therapies.

The same goes for always having silliness in my life, which is a need for me. It truly makes life lighter when you can find the humor in everything and laugh at yourself. I can entertain myself all the time and grew up in a family that enjoys laughing and playing like kids, which is a blessing.

It’s extremely important to find balance in our moment to moment lives in order to experience the vitality of life. It is a time when we need to be ever more consciously present in each moment with how we are reacting to things and how we can shift perspective to a place of empowered responding.

I am one who is guilty of being an extremist in life, which in some ways went with the territory of being a healing artist – choosing to experience the full spectrum of life in order to bring the full vulnerable depth to the work I channel in every realm and to  be able to truly understand with love and compassion what the highs and lows feel like so that I am able to relate energetically and bring that into my creations. In this way, also learning every day to master my personal processes so that I am able to know how to maneuver in any circumstance because of allowing myself the experience. Not sheltering myself from the storm, but walking in the middle of it and knowing that I can emerge renewed.

It isn’t always the easiest thing, but with practice, the process quickens. I know many do not understand parts of my life, but when I step outside of the ego place of my raw reactions, I am able to see the perfection of what I have chosen to create and all of the ingredients have been creating a master piece that will make sense one day, even if at the moment I can sometimes appear as the Fool.

And the Fool I do enjoy being. In my silliness and giggling, fun and play…I remain always the innocent faery child who sees the world through a rainbow kaleidoscope and enjoys seeing life from a light perspective and in communion with the animals, elements and the magickal world. It is this part that always keeps me sane, as when things get rough, it can be easy to get caught up in the crazy downward spiral, but I always know my inner child is my strength and she never stops believing despite anything anyone ever tries to strip away from her or cut her down with or tries to flush out of her.

It is no longer a luxury to forego the need to integrate balance and to find the calm amidst the chaos, as life speeds up and more things come into our experiences. Finding time to be with nature, to let yourself have fun, giggle, laugh, play, dance, run, roll in the grass, feel the sand in your toes, the wind in your hair, sit in silence amidst the awe-inspiring grandeur of our beautiful Earth, and even to stand out or on your own in the middle of a crowd, is all so vital. Letting go and letting yourself be without care of what others may think. Letting your uniqueness shine through in the creative way it wants to express itself and above all, having the integrity to be authentic in every situation and no matter what anyone else thinks of the choices you make. When you learn to unconditionally love yourself that will empower you to spread the same to everyone, everything, every being and every experience you encounter. It all starts within. This is the way it always has been and always will be. Nothing outside of you will ever be the answer.

Me at Rabbit Run!!! Yay rabbits! Saw a bunch today and one giant one!!!

So find anyway you can to have some fun, allow yourself time for uninhibited expression, and to let yourself have some time in nature whenever you can. These things can truly make a difference in your life and not only help balance out the time you’ve spent doing everything else but this, but will make a huge impact on your health, well-being and the amount of joy, love and passion you feel and express in your life.

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