On yesterday’s Chinese New Year of the Ox (my native zodiac), day thirty of skiing this Winter season, while protected and overseen by Ullr, the Norse God of Snow, I hit a milestone on my journey with fear. The fear I’m referring to has to do with heights associated with being on edges like riding chair lifts and skiing down mountain runs. The milestone was going down a Black Diamond run for the very first time and having fun doing it.
For anyone new to skiing, as I was, ski slope colors refer to the steepness of the gradient and the level of difficulty. Green is Beginner, Blue is Intermediate, and Black is Expert. That said, there are many levels in between and these are very loose terms in my opinion, as I see people of all levels on various runs. Also, you don’t have to be what you think might be considered an “expert” to go on a Black Diamond run. You simply, in my opinion, need to have courage, but indeed you need to have some level of skill to safely get down, especially in terms of turning and being in control. “Double” of any color means more challenging…for instance a Double Green is more like a Blue or Intermediate with more steepness, and so on. I find also that every ski resort has different ideas about what they think each level is and where you might not feel comfortable on some in one resort, on others you would. So you need to ask questions to the staff and explore for yourself. Also, I find some Green runs at resorts to mostly be cat tracks – paths used to move around the mountain, rather than actual runs. I tend to not like these and don’t consider them really great for learning to ski because they are narrow and don’t really allow for turns and practice. And if conditions aren’t great, they can be icy too. That said, they ARE sometimes the only way down the mountain so are necessary to be familiar with.
If I had to label my level of skiing I’d say I’m at the beginning end of Intermediate. However, I like how Jeffrey Weidel breaks down the three main color-coded levels further into nine levels, which speaks to me more. According to his breakdown, I’m at Level 4, edging ever-so slowly into Level 5.
But these are just ways of understanding categories and to give you a little understanding of things in reference to the main theme here – working with fear.
So, back to that milestone I hit yesterday, which to me isn’t just about a fear of heights and edges, but spoke to my making friends with fear in general and how I have been teaching myself to navigate it on my own terms.
As I mentioned in my last blog, “my skiing approach is one of enjoyment, not achievement.” And this has been the key for me in how to reprogram fear, no matter what the fear involves.
It’s also about honoring my needs and supporting that.
Rather than take something I’m afraid of and try to make it a system of how to progress to achieve a certain level or status, I’ve made it purely fun without any agenda, and my learning to be something I’ve decided to be my own coach of so that I can provide the kind of nurturing and motivation I know speaks to my inner little girl – a marriage of the wise adult and the innocent child. I become my own parent or instructor based on the knowledge of my fears and how I can engage them to feel safe and join me, rather than want to run away.
That doesn’t mean that getting a good ski instructor isn’t a good idea. Ski instructors are great no matter what level you’re at, to help refresh or take you to new levels. However, I’ve found that for me at this point, my own coaching is most nurturing, as part of the repatterning I am doing has to do with my approach to things. So, having someone overseeing and controlling that right now isn’t helpful. I have had a few instructors in the past and retained the basics from them, but I also learned from those experiences that this is the more supportive approach right now for me. I also learned a lot more by skiing with Dave and what he’s shown me. He’s an amazing skier. So with the basics, I’ve been able to formulate my process intuitively and gently support growth.
You see, in the past I learned to “perform” and in many cases push through something with an old “race horse” mentality that quite literally was engrained within my soul history from lives as just that. It wasn’t about how I felt, but what I felt I needed to do – in many cases being for someone else and not myself. It was that old “suck it up” and dishonor what your feelings and process are, in place of what you are either told you should do, or is driven only by achieving.
I began to slowly reprogram that approach nearly 15 years ago, upon discovering it, but skiing has been the best gauge of change with this for me and the biggest leaps of progress from my work have come in the last few years. And this year, when the opportunity came from this Winter immersion adventure we’ve been on, I’ve been able to really bear witness to my process because of having so many consecutive days of skiing.
The most I’d ever skied in a season, previous to now, was sixteen days. The last two years sixteen days was my max and previous to that in the first years of my starting at this I had only skied a handful of days each season. Not enough to really shift a pattern. And with thirty days under my belt this year, it’s provided that consistent focus and commitment I believe anything takes if you really want to change something. I still have another fifteen possible days to add to this for 2021. So this year really is monumental for supporting transformation.
Without going into all of the details of how I’ve been retraining myself, my basic approach is to honor my feelings, consistently repeat runs over and over and over in a flowing way at levels I feel comfortable with that have a slight stretch to them (in this way making them feel more natural to me and giving me lots of repetitive practice), taking my time, enjoying nature all around me, staying ultra present, talking gently to myself and even giggling the whole way to help make adjustments where needed and to keep things light, pausing to take it all in, and celebrating the moments.
I explore different little off-sections of trails to introduce change so that I can feel the unknown a bit, but at my own choice. And when there’s a slightly more challenging run connected to my path, I will slowly introduce it by trying it once in between my runs. Even if I don’t do it again, it’s my way of stretching into the new space to support growth. Usually what I find is that when I do that, I actually return to my usual run with greater ease, skill and confidence. And if I feel like something isn’t going right or I don’t like the runs or conditions, I will not push anything. I do only what I feel safe and comfortable with, then stop.
Since skiing doesn’t come natural to me, being that I didn’t grow up doing it and don’t have any muscle memory, as they say, for it, I am having to create that now.
But the key in all of this is enjoying the process. If it’s not fun, then it becomes work and feels like the old way of force.
This is why I will also stop along the way to take in sights I see, explore, notice the details of the terrain and little fun things like the Gnomes you saw in my last post.
And yesterday was proof that my confidence and relationship to fear had shifted hugely when I decided to try the Black Diamond run.
There was build-up to this, as several days ago we were skiing at this same resort and I overhead some guys telling their girlfriend that the Black Diamond run next to where I was skiing was considered an “easy” Black run. Normally that wouldn’t get my attention, as I would have a huge block to Black. And many times I have the same block to a lot of the Blue runs too. So, I spent my day observing the Black run they mentioned while I rode up the ski lift because I could see the whole thing from that vantage point. I kept taking in the pitch of the slope, watched people ski down it at various levels including my own, and mentally was processing it.
I told Dave about it after we left the resort that day and that I was curious about trying it, but didn’t want to do it alone if I did. I never like to be on something steep by myself in case I fall.
On Friday we were actually supposed to go to a different resort – you have to make reservations with Covid – but due to snowy weather and the longer drive to that resort we decided to cancel and go back to the place that had the curious Black Diamond run and where Ullr, the Norse God of Snow directs his guardian aim because it was closer.
After skiing the runs I practice on for a bit, I asked Dave to try the Black run and tell me what he thought. He did and I remained curious. I didn’t feel a block or a huge “no” in me, but continued to have curiosity and felt like it was a good chance to try something more difficult. I felt that there was reason I had overhead the other people mention it, as if I hadn’t heard that I wouldn’t have thought it possible. And the only reason I was curious was because they said it was an easy Black Diamond, which Dave confirmed. Plus, I obviously had built up courage from all of my consistent practice.
That said, I still knew I was in for some steep terrain. However, I’ve been practicing like heck and feel confident with my control and turns even if not done like a graceful swan. I also had just gotten my skis tuned up and they felt better than ever to carve those turns.
So, I went for it. On my own accord. It wasn’t anyone else’s idea. I wasn’t forced. I chose it and was curious about it. Curiosity invites wonder and innocence to stay with us and softens the seriousness or feeling of pressure.
And off I went, with Dave staying with me to the side just in case.
In the past I would have froze, cried, stopped and took my skis off and walked down, or perhaps even fallen.
None of these happened and in fact I saw how both my practice had supported my ability to make slow, in control turns and my consistency and fun approach took the edge off of fear.
I still felt my heart beat, but I knew I could do it and I did. I was in control of my experience.
It was a huge celebration of what for me was monumental in experiencing the shift that had taken place.
I returned to the run I was doing before it and I saw how much better and even quicker I was getting down, after stretching my curiosity on the Black Diamond run.
I celebrated my milestone and Dave did too.
This is a post about possibility.
That you can learn anything at any age – I’ll be 48 in just a couple of weeks and didn’t start to really ski until my 40’s.
That you can move through any fear – my fear of heights is not little, but I’ve learned to find ways to walk hand-in-hand with it, rather than push it away or avoid it.
I woke this morning to a magickal paradise scene surrounding our home on the forest.
And as I shared on social media, the view had me singing Willy Wonka’s Pure Imagination…
“If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There is no
Life I know
To compare with
You’ll be free
If you truly wish to be”
The message of this song is one I sing in my heart always. It’s what carries me through life when the rest of the world can’t hear it.
Being the Sagittarius New Moon Total Solar Eclipse and the day after concluding a very potent weekend of Reiki 3 Master Teacher initiations, it all felt like a fresh reset enveloped the forest portal here, but also collectively.
The energy is fertile, even with the blanket of snow covering the Earth’s skin.
I took intentional time off last evening and first half of today to let things integrate and settle. I also got a lot of good sleep in and slowed everything way down.
I’m glad I did.
After a slow, relaxing morning we headed off just up the road from our house to immerse in the fresh powder solitude on snow shoes. The day was incredibly surreal, as you can see.
It was the perfect thing needed, as was the enchanted landscape before me. It may even have been a manifestation of my intents, hopes, and imagination, as I had very strongly both voiced and wished for a winter wonderland the night before.
As we climbed the mountain I could feel the surge of energies from everything flowing through me. It actually made me feel slightly nauseous for about a half an hour (which is not normal for me), so I slowed my pace and deeply breathed the energy in and out, focusing on regulating the accelerated shifts. I also focused on my body and my feet merging with the snow covered ground.
Everything balanced out and as we reached our destination vista point I felt a new harmony anchor and everything has been a peaceful steady since.
While outdoors and during my integration time, I got the message to wind some things down. With the ending of full level Reiki trainings since August, this was a perfect closure point for the year. Yet, I also need to put to rest some of my offerings, as I need some more time to myself these last weeks of 2020.
So, although I had the special running until end of December on discounted sessions to navigate these challenging times, I was told to remove them early. I hope you understand, if in fact you’ve been considering these. This is why you won’t find them offered on my site anymore.
I intend to just complete sessions with clients that I already have, continue to work on custom art commissions, and then use the rest of the time for myself.
This will give me the extra balancing time I feel will be supportive for the work at hand and for continuing to integrate the changes I’m undergoing. It will also give me some good down time before the two new 2021 classes in February and March.
I’ll also be listening between now and the start of the year, as to what other changes will be implemented and how I’ll reimagine a new landscape of experience for 2021. I am feeling the percolation, just like warm seeds coddled far beneath the ground and snow. For now, the halt on these extra sessions feels supportive.
As I’ve told all of my students and clients, balance is key and balance is something I have made central to my life. So, when I get the message that things are feeling more intense than necessary, I listen. This changes things instantly.
I thank you for your understanding with this. I trust that things are always in alignment for what is most important and for the highest good.
Also, I wanted to extend gratitude that the two original, new pieces we added to The Magick Rabbit Etsy Shop this morning at the maximum eclipse time went off to a wonderful new home just minutes after they got listed. This reiterated why they had been important to create, as I heard the connection that they made, which included even just having been seen and experienced by others.
Creating them also gave me, as I mentioned yesterday, the needed little surges of free expression and imagination immersion, which leads us back to Willy Wonka’s Pure Imagination.
We can use the power of our imaginations to create the world we want to see and to set ourselves free. It’s one of the things no one can take away from you, including hope.
Here’s to fresh slates for your imagination to thrive on.
I hope today’s New Moon Eclipse energies have been clarifying and renewing for you too.
At the start of this week I focused on printing and sending out all of the Reiki Level 1 certificates to the group that completed their training this past weekend. Even just that process was a big energy shift on top of all the Reiki flowing through the hours of teaching and attuning the last two weekends. It’s equally transformative and recalibrating for the teacher, as it is the students that are receiving, so I’m definitely experiencing my own activation and inner triggers for reflection.
For this reason, and both because I don’t write blogs as often as I used to AND I feel that others are going through a variety of changes right now in more significant and likely conscious ways than they have in the past, I’m sharing a longer post today. It’s a way to thread connection, too.
So, I noticed that as I sealed the envelopes and sent them out in the world it felt like sending out keys to new doorways of potential that feel to be gridding and lighting up more and more on the Earth. In their own way, they are seeding new openings to wider and innovative ways we can move forward for the greatest and highest good.
At least that was the intention I had, as I sent them out with love.
Since this unexpected teaching flow invited me to also expand wider and change the approaches I adapted until now, it ignited a whole level of reinvention on other layers as well. And it definitely amped up energies that have put into motion a domino-effect of shifts to explore.
In a nutshell, I’d say my experience is all about transitions and upgrades right now. And with all the collective change happening simultaneously, it feels aligned with acceleration at large, and needed.
So how are these shifts and upgrades translating for me?
I’ll share some of the ways I’m experiencing this, as a way of demonstrating the varied levels of life that can be affected in a naturally organic way – especially when embraced – as we go through life changes. This may also be helpful to any of my students that read this blog.
This concept of recalibrating, cleansing, upgrading, and realigning, etc. is something we discuss in training, and includes the possibilities of what that could look like.
However, even though I know this shift is getting an added boost from the Reiki teaching, I also feel it was on its way simply as a natural process of transitions – like Nature’s seasons are reflecting currently and even the upcoming Full Moon is heralding in, as it brings to full amplification and illumination the things in your life that no longer serve you.
I ended up having to upgrade to a new, larger, more powerful computer that Dave just helped set up for me (since I’m not a very tech savvy person) at the start of this new week. Interesting timing right after completion of training. Also interesting is that I always used to have very tiny laptops – like notebooks. Then after a series of those and crashing all of them, I adopted Dave’s older, bigger laptop. I’ve had that quite a while, but it finally was starting to poop out. So now I have an extremely heavy-duty, larger, powerhouse laptop that is all my own and can do likely more than I’ll ever need. But that creates space for growth and new because who knows what the future holds, right?
Likely the very near future few months may hold a new cell phone in store too. Mine seems fine, (even after falling into the water, as you may remember – going through its own rebirth), but we may be upgrading together to a different carrier for several reasons and they likely will have different options of phones than this one that goes with their plans. It’s not surprising to have all electronics go through upgrades with big changes so that what ever is coming will be supported.
Luckily, I must have my energy better harnessed or something, as I don’t seem to blowing out things anymore and do have miraculous fixes like the water dunking with no ill effect. One experience that comes to mind was when I taught a large group Reiki retreat in Laguna and my phone literally sizzled and gave me an electrical shock on the morning of Reiki Master Teacher training. That was a full three levels in one weekend teaching, so it wasn’t surprising really.
The more mild experiences I have now might also speak to the more balanced life I’ve created and make a priority, and how I’ve learned to channel my energy more effectively, as well as do a lot of grounding, exercise, and nature things, along with self-care and holding center amidst contrasting dynamics all around me.
I’ve also been in home improvement project mode, which actually started last Friday before classes with working on tile prep in our shower to get it ready for Dave to seal, caulk, and fix grouting. I found myself scrubbing away with great vigor and being that the shower and water energy coincides with Pisces – my native sign, but also the sign the upcoming Full Moon is in – it seems reflective of bringing up deep subconscious and clingy stuff to the surface to observe, integrate, and move out altogether.
Improvement projects continued Saturday after class with me spending a couple of hours in the garden sanding my garden bench and restaining it to prep it for the upcoming seasons. Again, another layering process in motion, much like the shedding of old skin.
The shower tiles and the bench getting a renewed layer by removing the old one, and in effect some of my layers are coming undone too.
And the projects have continued little by little for us to include some minor redecorating in my office (still underway, but soon to be complete) and a little in the master bedroom, outdoor clean-up and fixers with the yard, pine needle removal from the roof, refilling the jacuzzi with new water, and repairing some insulation under the house. We are thinking about some other changes we may make as well, so there’s again that cleansing and renewal energy in motion.
I’ve also been completing a round of side-work projects to free up my time, along with monthly record-keeping I do.
I’m also in clean out mode and getting donation bags ready again – a favorite thing of mine to do whenever I feel change is in the air.
The weekend of teaching saw me physically drop a little weight, as any old load was lightened. And, for the first time in a while I am getting the strong feeling of lightening things with my hair as well. Since the ends of the hair are the oldest parts, it can make sense why the literal cutting away can come at significant periods of change in our lives so that we’re letting go and dropping that time period or part of our life it represents.
I have mostly just been letting it do whatever it wants and so it just consistently grows longer. Yet, I’m sensing there may be a more significant change upcoming instead of just my four-inch trim I’ve been doing every six months or so. Perhaps a more significant new cut is in store? I’m waiting to see if this is in fact the route I’ll take, or if I’m just feeling so much change that it inspires a large gamut of ideas and inspiration to flood through. In some cases like that, I’ll wait a little to see what actually feels to be the new anchoring, or if in fact energy is simply moving and may bring up other things, so it’s not about settling on the first idea that comes through.
Other changes have included seeing the potential for new possibilities with a feeling of greater flexibility I’m opening to that I wouldn’t have before, and allowing exploration in order to find the highest path that aligns with now. I’m finding myself revisiting things from about four years ago and this includes a resurgence of ancient and cosmic timelines merging and choices that were made at that time. It has brought underlying a-ha empowering moments, alongside some sadness.
There’s also been an experience of simultaneous, parallel realities. One carries the strength for the other, while it simply goes forth to explore. One dips into realizing the new challenges ahead of the unknown and is processing the stages of how to get there. At times, already being where the challenges are integrated and yet aware of the journey to get there being a step at a time and that it will ebb and flow. Then moments of the ebbs and flows. 🙂
We’re also starting to make different plans for the upcoming seasons and looking at some travels with the animals to change up energies very soon.
So, yes, there’s a lot of energy transitions taking place – even more than I’m sharing here. These may give you an idea of how when we stay in observational mode and decide to be more conscious of the active role we can also have with changes, the more things become obvious as to the levels of transformation that are actually happening, and the easier they shift.
And speaking of Nature, it’s also interesting to observe how the changes we go through can also be reflected in things like seasonal shifts, the different animals that show up for us, the things that draw our attention when we are outdoors, the types of plants and flowers that speak to us, the weather patterns, and unusual sightings in general.
As I just wrote that, a squirrel got my attention outside who is laying in an unusual rounded-over ball on a limb of the tree outside my office. Looks as if he/she is resting, but then sat up, still maintaining that ball-shape – so much so, the little tummy appears as if pregnant with tail wrapped perfectly up and around the back in a half circle. There’s a feeling of this little one resting and reflecting/pregnant with ideas and energy – and as soon as I said that he/she moved quickly on to the next task, which currently includes rubbing the entire front of its body and belly in the cutest fashion, flat all over another limb, relishing in the feeling. 🙂
But this is just a direct reflection in the moment right now.
Others have included how the smoke from the California fires have been blowing in and out of the region here. At times feeling like a veil thickening and lifting, or a transitioning taking place of transmutation. Smoke in fact is the transition of matter into spirit.
Then there’s been the increase in sightings of garter snakes that either cross my path right in front of me or lay across the path I’m approaching. Sometimes they catch my attention from the corner of my eye, and Dave is amazed I even see them since they are camouflaged in the grass. So much snake energy speaks to that shedding of skin, as layers removing for renewal. Another one was on our path while hiking down to the lake a couple of days ago, as you can see here.
This same day I also found a sweet, little dead mouse laying to the side of the trail, which I stopped to bury.
About a week before this I found a dead bird. In both cases the body was fully in tact and didn’t appear to have injury. Perhaps death by natural causes, but interesting at this time period.
In general, seeing a dead animal can symbolize something coming to an end in our lives through a natural cycle – a major life transition from one thing to another. It can also herald the time for a new direction or choice. It’s not necessarily a literal death upcoming, although could be and is relative to the person seeing it.
Seeing a dead animal can be a message or reiteration that a door is, or needs to be, closing. It can also be a reflection of hope in times of challenge. And depending upon the qualities of the particular animal, this can signify the areas in your life that it is highlighting. For instance, mice tend to small and tedious little things and so this could indicate an end to minor issues no longer bothering you or not allowing fears getting in the way. Could be an end to any shyness or timidity, or perhaps resourcefulness no longer being a challenge.
It’s interesting that alongside seeing snakes a lot, we’ve been humanely trapping and releasing mice under the house quite a bit before fixing the insulation, and now I see the dead mouse. Mice in Ancient Greece were considered sacred because they are associated as food for snakes, which were sacred to the Greeks as holy healers.
One thing that jumps out at me about mice is this description of their symbolism from Avia Venefica, which I shared in my blog about the little mouse named Fiver that was so transformative for me.
“Our ancient ancestors observed their affinity for ground-burrowing, and likened this to mice being ‘one with the Mother’ (Mother Earth, that is). This ground-loving behavior was also seen as a connection to the Underworlds (or Otherworlds, depending upon your source of reference). This kind of connection makes the mouse a kind of mediator between physical life and recycling life (spirit energies in transition). This Earth and Underworld connection continues in western, medieval Europe, where folk superstitions tell of mice possessing the ability to carry souls of humans who have passed from this physical life.
There’s that reference again to energies in transition, similar to the smoke and the general theme I’ve been speaking about.
And this transition has been taking place in both the garden and the entire landscape here as I watch the end of Summer move into hints of Autumn vibes.
I am really enjoying the transitioning energy showing up in different waves of blossoming and shades of colors turning, fading and warming. Especially soul-enriching to me is all of the golden sage blossoms. It speaks to something soulful coming into glowing illumination.
On the same hike down to the lake where I saw the snake and the dead mouse, we enjoyed the beautiful meadows, pond, creek, and forests full of signs that Autumn is approaching.
And even my garden continues to transition, too, with sunflowers going through life cycles (nearly
half of the 30+ buds all in bloom), prolific wildflowers popping up with more on the way, plants both growing rapidly and coming to end, roses on their last leg of flowering, a last batch of mini
strawberries ripening for Astrid, and pollinators doing their thing to ensure next year’s growth, as
well as squirrels and chipmunks beginning to hide their Winter’s stash (in my garden). 😉
I have a really tall, wild thistle plant out front that is in full fuchsia bloom and starting to turn to puffs of white dandelion-like seeds, as their maturity is during late Summer to early Autumn.
With only a few last days of August remaining, we are approaching the upcoming Pisces Full Moon of the 1st/2nd of the month (depending on where you live) and Autumn Equinox on the 22nd.
September feels like it will be a quieter month for me, full of deep exploration, decisions, and a new layer of writing upcoming. It also happens to be Astrid’s birthday month, which I know she’s been prepping for and she has her regular vet check at the start of the month, too, for her to start afresh. I have an eye appointment at the end of the month to see if any prescription updating is in order, this may be the month for hair changes, and I’ll be planting daffodil and tulip bulbs for next year.
The Full Moon means that intuition will be on an all-time high, so listening to it and trusting it will be key to support moving into your true power. It will help you to gain deeper insights and understanding about the seeds you’ve been planting in your garden, the intentions you have for them, and will illuminate what truly is guiding your life so that you have a broader grasp on the creative forces at work and how to harness them.
Establishing and recognizing boundaries will be the theme for well-being and is a lesson for the boundless Pisces energy to understand how to balance in a healthy way.
This is a powerful time for deep soul level closure, to exercise greater compassion rather than judgment, and to practice radical acceptance, which helps you to release suffering. Suffering is a refusal to accept things. It’s time to give up the suffering, do an energy cleanse, and ask how you can make the changes, then engage action to do them.
All of this is speaking to a time of transition with our relationship to things in our life and perhaps creating some kind of ritual or acknowledgment around supporting what is time to release, so that we can more fully step into the life we want, and receive those upgrades.
There is so much beauty in all stages of life.
The shifting environment reflects the shifting within.
When the time comes for change, there are many ways in which we are messaged about how we can support that process to be easier, more efficient, graceful, and peaceful.
It doesn’t feel like the energy is anchoring yet, which makes sense given the transitional stage that even nature reflects.
Yet, we may see and feel the importance of which things speak most heart and soul-fully to us that would like to take root for the season ahead.
Today happens to be my dad’s 75th birthday – so a shout out to my dad with lots of love as I acknowledge how his birthday also signifies a huge shift and transition period in life.
I know as I edge toward 50 here not too far off, these 40’s have been the biggest shifts indeed.
I write this from the Forest Portal’s surprise Spring snow day, again reflecting how things shift moment-to-moment. Yesterday was special because it marked what would have been Cosmo’s (my sweet rabbit boy) fourteenth Earth birthday and on his day, as I do always with all of my dear ones’ special days, we communed through nature. Our adventure hike in Washoe Indian area was a revisit of one we only introduced ourselves to part of a couple of weeks ago for the first time with intention to complete it.
We decided on a picnic hike (above photo in a field of blooming bitterbrush was our chosen rest spot) for the nearly eight miles of exploration, which not only graced us with a solo journey without seeing a human the whole time, but proved my words before we left to be foretelling of the gifts Cosmo would bring forth for us.
I said out loud to Dave, “I wonder what Cosmo will gift us this time? What messages does he have? What animals might we see, what feather might he leave?” Well, the wildly windy day (feeling like 50 mile an hour winds at times) with a mist of faery rain drops keeping us cool, but never wet, spoke of their own purposeful, timely messages and nurturing alongside the unusual sightings.
The only companions were coyote crossing our path with a black tipped tail, raven flying overhead with a snake in its mouth, and a huge pile of the most gorgeous feathers from a Sooty Grouse with peacock tipped iridescence in gold, bronze, green, blue, purple, and pink but no body, bones or blood around – just stunning plumes. Minutes later I found a longer feather you can see pictured below with the others from a different bird – maybe hawk or osprey?
I knew each sighting was a gift and omen that I was to receive from Cosmo so I honored the bird and wrapped the ones I was called to, gently in my shirt. Being an area the Washoe Indians frequented, created extra reverence for this bird, and the gift Cosmo had brought through the Universe to me. Many Plains Indian tribes used to honor these birds with a Grouse Dance. My dance will be a sacred ritual of intention and creation this week onward, lighting each step with newly infused perspective and energy.
The photos don’t do the colors justice when the sunlight hits them, but I was told I’ll be creating something sacred with these at some point and they are a gift for imagining and manifesting that beauty.
They carry a message of personal power, protection, purpose, centering, grounding, harnessing energy for clearly defined goals, the sacred spiral for vision and enlightenment with the Great Mystery, sacred and rhythmic movement and harmonized dance within Earth’s cycles for higher awareness, creation of selfless beauty, ceasing external movement for inner life realization, and new rhythms, teachings, creations, and rituals to lead you into new dimensions.
Once abundant, grouse are now less prolific, but its feathers sure speak to abundance, beauty, and rituals that bridge Cosmos and Earth. This beautiful being somehow feels like an extended hand of clarity and connection to help me integrate the new and bring through what I’ve struggled with expressing.
And lastly, right before the hike ended three very cosmic-like deer crossed our path and just kept watching us without fear. I thought at first they were all female, but one walked out before they leaped gracefully away and it had tiny antlers growing about three inches or so – a boy! I knew right away this was Cosmo, Joy and Nestor – my rabbit soul family has often showed up in deer form when no one else is around.
In Glacier National Park, two cosmic deer had shown up after Joy’s transition – they were Nestor and Joy, as Cosmo was still with us. Yesterday Cosmo joined the girls and their showing up through the portal of unusual energies and signs felt like they were opening a new doorway for me. There may be some twists and turns as things transform, but a promise invites me – both a new one and a reminder of the old one I made. There’s that sacred spiral that grouse speaks of.
Much of the day reminded me of the adventures we had with Cosmo and Joy while in the Magick Bus for 1 1/2 years – similar vistas, memories popping up of favorite places this reminded me of, that in between-worlds energy, nobody else around, similar sightings including grouse and cosmic deer, and strange but interesting weather.
I’m still reflecting on the messages of these signs he sent, as there feels to be a story he’s sharing through them of things upcoming. A spiral dance in motion of bringing me back to center.
I also received clarification yesterday around another change. Cosmo has a very clear way of coming through since he departed on Halloween/Samhain when the veils are thinnest.
Although I won’t regularly be teaching Reiki anymore, it came through that I can and will offer just one class per each level of Reiki this year.
It might be an ongoing, once yearly offering, but for now it’s something I’ve opened to because of the state of things in the world where energetic upgrades would be beneficial, and due to inquiries both spoken and unspoken. I get a lot of messages from people on the energetic levels, so I’m putting this out there in case it speaks to you.
I’ve created a separate page with some information and how you can register.
I’ll be opening the Reiki training to online availability only, likely via Zoom, but maybe Skype to only 6 participants for each class.
These will not be starting until August, as I need time to focus on current and new projects, as well as the new changes in my life upcoming that Cosmo is also hinting at and conveying importance in timing of.
I have a very busy few months of client sessions, book cover painting for an author, writing, wedding details, record keeping for our side business, and channeling new information coming through in an anchored way. I feel some large changes on the horizon that my current projects are stepping stones toward, which makes them integral to complete.
So, the page will not have specific dates in the months proposed. That is something I will finalize once I see who actually commits to and confirms their participation, as I will then be able to communicate with the group and customize and optimize days and times for the whole.
You’ll have the ability to register with deposit, or in full on the page below.
Please contact me with any questions, to discuss your unique path, and/or individual specific needs at the contact link on this page too, so I can know how to support you best:
FYI: If you contact me and don’t hear back from me in a day or two, please check your spam folder because I’ve had a lot of people find my emails there for some reason. You can also check back with me again in a couple of days if you don’t hear from me and I’ll message you a different way if needed.
I thought I’d hop on briefly after being away from blogging the last ten days, just to share some of the beauty, special moments, and reflections I’ve experienced during this time. Maybe you’ve felt similar things or this little burst of nature’s inspiration may be exactly the breath of fresh air for you right now. In any event, I hope that you had a beautiful Summer Solstice, however you chose to welcome it in.
I’m still spending most of my time within the inner landscapes, but that is reflected in an increased deepening with nature and immersing even more in her realm.
This mirrors the time we lived in the Magick Bus exploring nature and National Parks for nearly a year and a half when life called me in a new direction. It’s only now that I’m getting what it all meant and where the embodiment of that change was leading.
It’s almost been like getting my feet wet again in body, from what was a resurrection of sorts from the waters of life – actually most literally. I have needed the last couple of years to reacquaint myself with things from a new perspective, which has had me dipping in and out of some things from before, tried out in the now.
Some clothes just haven’t fit, either feeling too tight or too loose – meaning they were still too tied in with the past and the energy I had completed, or they were so new that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and hence all the extra room to explore.
It’s been a time of allowing what ever wants to move through, letting go of to-do’s, and softening the reflections so that even my process with things doesn’t mirror how I used to process stuff. Life is a soft and gentle focus now. In this way, not only will what ever the new is that comes through be different than before, but the journey will be too.
I find it important for me that nothing mirrors the past, although can weave in the possibilities it held.
It still feels very fresh and I’m only beginning to immerse, as last week was more about the surrender, continued nurturing, and letting nature guide me.
So, with Solstice ringing in Summer, there’s been a ton of outdoor activity. It started Wednesday of last week while we explored a new hike to Cascade Falls – a shorter one, but climbs technically quite a bit. That felt invigorating and perfect for allowing the flow just like the gushes of water cascading down the mountain. Both the climb and the being with the water were perfect metaphors for things.
That same day we went to Baldwin Beach – another new beach for us. There, a mother duck and her seven ducklings visited and after they explored the higher activity of people down a ways from us, they came to rest in peace in front of our umbrella. Another beautiful reflection.
Thursday was a very special day – the two year anniversary of Astrid’s coming home to me at the gateway of Solstice. That’s what these first three photos celebrate. Since Astrid is such a huge part of this new life journey for me, I felt it important to capture some beautiful moments between us in the forest portal backyard of our house.
She was a surprise to me, but as I navigate this next part of my life, Astrid is my greatest guide. Where I have no example for the new I reinvent, she emulates the potential I most admire.
I love this photo below where she and I look merged as one – almost creating a Yin/Yang effect in how her body curves into mine.
Solstice is a very special time of the year for me ever since three years ago my beloved bunny, Joy, transitioned through its portal on that day in a place very dear to me – Montana. She and Astrid came from the same rabbit rescue and I feel that their entering and exiting at this gateway is significant.
The Mayans celebrated Solstice for spiritual initiation and change, creating ceremony to be in harmony with the Earth and Cosmic energies.
I remember the words from my dear shaman friend Amaru in Peru, “Nokan Inti Kani” – meaning “I am the Sun.”
Solstice extends an invitation to join the Sun’s energy and connect with your Higher Self, follow inspiration and dreams, and tune inside to the alchemy of “as within, so without.”
I find nature to be that gateway for me, as are my rabbit companions, and the Cosmos.
The Solstice gateway gifted me this beautiful golden hawk feather that I’m so grateful for.
So every day since Wednesday, nature time increased with tons of mountain biking, hiking, and beach time, as well as late afternoon/evening gardening time upon returning home from the physical activity.
To say I slept well is an understatement, as the deepening into body and moving a lot of energy in a grounding way was both nourishing and took me through cycles of decharge and recharge.
Solstice saw us in Squaw Valley where I enjoyed an intentional walk in the gorgeous meadows by myself anchoring in that new while Dave enjoyed his last day of skiing on the first day of Summer. You’ll see photos below of how beautiful this area is, reminding me of both the Swiss Alps (where I haven’t yet been, but seen photos of) and adored Iceland, as well as my favorite spots in Montana.
Seventeen miles of biking along the Truckee River that day was a way to move the energy and flow like the river.
Twenty two miles of biking the next day continued moving that energy along more gorgeous vistas.
All the while during each ride, allowing visions, thoughts, and feelings to flow, as my body did the integrating.
Two back-to-back hikes to different lakes Sunday followed by a vegan potluck picnic provided continued anchoring and as I said, each day I’d come home and plop myself in the garden planting perennials to create a low maintenance, inspiring, and beautiful backdrop that blends wild with a little intention.
I promised the Faeries of the land many things when moving here and I’m happy to create a special sanctuary for them to play in.
I’ll share more of the front and side gardens, as things blossom, but for now here are my beautiful Portulaca blooms that I adore!
The forest out back is in early stages of bloom, but as you can see they are already creating a welcome carpet to our home for the Faeries.
I just love how the wildflowers are blooming with joy everywhere – and it’s just the beginning. They feel like a love spell on my heart.
And as you can see from the below photos of Squaw Valley meadows, the Truckee River, and Cascade Falls, there’s been an abundance of inspiration all around from Mother Earth – the best nurturer there is.
As mentioned, I’m just beginning to immerse into a new realm of exploration within, so all of these good nature vibes are very nurturing to the vulnerable parts feeling safe to come through.
Because I feel that I haven’t much example to draw upon for that new, I feel nature provides me the best template and reflection for the journey.
Cultivating the garden is also very supportive, as my heart guides its creation in reflection of me as well – mostly wild, with woven threads of cultivated pockets that create synergy and harmony.
This last Wednesday I went to my third meditation group meeting that ended in a lovely picnic dinner at the beach with everyone who joined, however I feel it will likely be my last time going (at least for now) because I’m clear my work at home is more aligned for me at this time. I did leave the group with a few book recommendations to help with the “self love” topic, so they at least have some tools for any exploration they may decide to embark on past this month’s theme.
I feel called to explore on my own for now, dipping in and out when the moment calls.
The good news is (at least to me), I feel like I’m in greater alignment with the new path I’m creating than I was before. Remember I mentioned those clothes that felt too tight or too big and loose?
Energetically the ones that felt too big are now taking root and feeling more like home.
And on the literal, tangible level, the continued cleansing of, and weeding through, my closet leaves me with what feels to be the perfect essence of a place I now feel comfortable in heading to.
What’s fascinating is that the five Portal Paintings that found their new home, only just departed from Nevada on the Solstice – Yes! The Solstice of all days! Talk about divine alignment. Even though I dropped them off a week and a half earlier, they didn’t get crated and shipped out until then and so that also feels reflective of this anchoring in and clarity beginning.
The whole wild journey to get them to that point has mirrored so much of the changes I’m going through.
I’m excited for them to arrive in their new home across the country in Athens, Georgia with their amazing co-guardian where they will be open to anyone who wants to visit and meditate/work with them. This new home is being created into a form of a mini healing center welcome to people wanting to immerse in a conscious journey. As things evolve with that, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a way that people can experience them and more, and if at some point they are ready to journey on, they will be available via that portal.
I leave you now to return to my garden so I can complete the last planting I didn’t get a chance to finish yet. It feels integral to the next phase beginning.
What I love is that although the future is unknown and the vision is yet to be seen of how things look, the journey is so much more gentle and peaceful. There are those ebbs and flows, but it’s all naturally unfolding if I listen, allow, honor, and observe.
Do you experience reflections in your life that mirror the changes you’re going through?
My guess is we all do and if we stop to observe things, we’ll see it and make those connections.
If not, how might you create intention around something – like a project, gardening, etc. – to embody the potential you’re being guided to?
It will be interesting to see where the journey leads all of us.
I’ve noticed a shift in a lot of people who have been more inclined to remain behind the scenes and perhaps struggled with being more public and sharing their gifts, now stepping out in bigger ways. There seems to be a shift of welcoming more vulnerability and more connection and I’m sure it is happening both as others continue to light the way for us in this regard AND as the collective shifts into being more ready, or more in need, to receive those of us who may have felt more like the minority or outcasts.
It’s not that everyone will do this in some huge or flashy way, but even if it’s just opening to connecting more with local community, finding yourself opening to a small circle of friends or sharing more with your family than you have before, or sharing your work through different channels you may not have ventured into in the past, there does seem to be a move toward allowing yourself more space in the world, feeling more safe or courageous, and ultimately creating more connection through opening to being seen.
And as this momentum of “being seen” more unfolds, it seems to be going hand-in-hand with seeing more expansively – meaning perspective shifts are taking place and more options are presenting themselves, which boils down to a feeling of being open to entertaining greater possibilities and feeling more safe to take up space.
Astrid wanted me to share how even she is stepping “out” more, as she just yesterday debuted alongside me in a short video I posted via social media as invitation to our New Moon Gratitude Challenge Giveaway.
She’s not shy in sharing messages, but she isn’t always too keen on videos. Photos have been alright, but anytime I try to capture her on video she either just stares me down, moves away, or stops altogether whatever it is she was doing that caught my attention to capture on video in the first place.
She is ready to be seen more and accompany me as a team. So I’m allowing her that safe space to venture in as she feels and by doing it together, it seems to be a way for us both to open to more and share in a new way to others.
It is also her way of letting me know that she is going to be upping her game. And I know that means I better get ready, because if she’s expanding that means I’ll be rising to the occasion to continue matching vibrations for the work evolving for us with these shifts.
I’m not sure if everyone will be able to access the video, but here’s a link just in case.
So that’s a wonderful new development for her and for both of us together.
It all seems to speak to a movement of greater visibility within and without. People are seeing and experiencing themselves more clearly, finding more courage, and things are rising to the surface.
As this happens, our vision is shifting and we’re also more capable of welcoming and inviting in new options that we weren’t so keen on before or weren’t vibrationally a match for before.
This leads to being willing to try new things – just like Astrid is opening to being in videos with me. Even her having her weekly blog is part of this greater visibility, as she steps into a new role herself.
And each time we allow something more into our experience, greater possibilities are available. We realize we aren’t confined to just one or two ways to do something, but that there are many ways we might express the same desires and gifts we have.
Choices are more prevalent and of course that means making decisions can be more challenging. Yet, since the choices are simply varying ways you can express a similar essence and energy, then truly there isn’t a wrong choice – just choice.
When we are more willing to see ourselves and be seen, to extend ourselves in new ways, we find greater courage to make choices without feeling they limit us.
Choices take us to the next step.
They are a bridge.
And from there we can make another choice.
Astrid encourages me to share about my recent experience, so here it is.
Lately I’ve felt more inward, for various reasons having to do with life changes taking place – I may do a separate blog on that upcoming – but after having a much more public presence with my work in the past in terms of teaching and so forth, I have pulled out of that for some time now.
I still have a public presence online for sharing my new creations and anything Astrid and I feel might be helpful or inspiring, and for nurturing special connections, but I have felt drawn to be more by myself, otherwise, and especially so in the physical – preferring to stay home or do things separately, rather than attend lots of gatherings and so forth.
Wednesday night, however, I stepped out (just as Astrid did yesterday) and decided to go to a meditation group with Dave. It’s one he meets with regularly each week. I’ve not been nudged to go because I have my own “walking meditation of life,” because of feeling I needed my own space, and also having a lot of things I wanted to use the time differently for.
This evening would be different, as one of the people was inviting everyone for dinner after and it was the end of the month’s theme before a new one would be coming – I didn’t know that until I went.
I decided to re-immerse myself in a group setting, which is reminiscent to my teaching days, to see how it would feel.
It’s a wonderful group, great people, good vibes, and peace filled.
What was interesting is that normally they have about 5-7 people usually, but of course the day I decide to go they have the most – 13. No coincidence.
It involves a meditation, either in silence or guided for about a half hour, and then an open discussion around the month’s theme – mindfulness was May’s.
Other than introducing myself and why I was there, which was a round-circle intro at start, I didn’t say a peep.
But I was very present and listened and felt into how I felt being there.
At the end of the conversation one of the facilitators asked if anyone had ideas for the next month’s theme. Five or six ideas were thrown out and when everyone was done brainstorming I suddenly was nudged to speak.
It was surprising to me that I did, since I just don’t speak just to speak and mostly stay in observing mode unless I’m teaching, which puts me in a different position. But the feeling was so strong that I just honored it.
In a nut shell my theme ended up being self-love. I detailed why, taking into account everything I’d heard from everyone that evening, the questions people were exploring, answers searched for, and even the themes they came up.
Self-love, to me, was the umbrella for all of them and I explained why.
I was the last to speak and they took a poll after and they ended up unanimously choosing my topic.
I had no idea that my thought would have that impact.
Later that evening at dinner, a few people thanked me for the topic, as they felt challenged by it and knew it was important because of that. Another thanked me for the reminder, as it felt exactly what they needed with things they’ve been working on and had forgotten. Another reiterated that it was an answer to the example he’d given about how to permanently clear a glass of water that’s dirty – symbolism used during the evening’s discussion.
I was grateful I had gone that night and listened to the nudge to allow myself to be seen again more, but in a different capacity.
It reiterated to me what I find to be my strengths in groups, which one of them is my ability to hold a present and neutral energy.
And I found it interesting that the theme everyone felt was exactly what they needed, whether it felt comfortable or not, was also the one this year’s Challenge ended up being about – of which I had just hours before posted on my blog.
In self-love and nurturing, finding those depths within to appreciate and bring to light, we do indeed shine our lights more, open to being seen, and invite more expansive ways of seeing what is possible.
So, both Astrid and I had a “stepping out” this week. We stretched beyond what was currently our comfort zone, which merged both an inward growth that had an outward reach.
We embraced our gifts and made space for them to grow and see where they might lead next.
And that leads us both wanting to leave you with the reminder of our New Moon Gratitude Giveaway Challenge.
Originally we said to let us know by end of today, May 31st, if you felt called to join us, but we’re extending that to the end of this Sunday, June 2nd.
We already have a lovely group of people officially joining and a couple who are joining, but on their own, yet want to do it during the same time so that they combine their efforts and energy collectively.
I know it’s challenging to look at yourself and perhaps challenging to think how you could possibly come up with 10 things a day to be grateful for and why about yourself. It’s okay if some might pop up more than once throughout the 8 days, as perhaps that theme is speaking a lot and it’s an important thing getting your attention. It’s also wonderful if you actually have unique things each day. It challenges you to shift your perspective and find the things you’d easily be able to “out there,” but now do so “in here.”
You are a creative being and that makes you limitless in how to be curious and look at yourself.
They don’t have to be profound things.
They simply need to be about you.
You are beautiful and worthy of this.
I believe fully if you embrace something like this – even if not officially by joining us – that you will feel and experience a shift and may find greater clarity to directions you’re contemplating, perhaps less doubt, more joy, a positive outlook, feel even more compassionate, and even see things shift outside of you or become clearer because of the new way you’re relating with yourself. It may just make you feel much better about you and that makes your experiences with others much better.
If you do want to join us, please let me know either in the comments or message me directly through my CONTACT PAGE.
Wishing you all a beautiful weekend as you anchor into the New Moon energy.
I feel this one will speak to a lot of you right now.
May has flown by, but I’ve definitely been experiencing the contraction before expansion that Lee reflects here, and the full circle moments.
Which of the themes are coming up for you?
Astrid is right in alignment with today’s Full Moon in Libra, as she wears her own version of the “balancing scales” on her fur today, but literally IS the symbol for the nodes. AMAZING!!!! I was taken back at first noticing last night and was in awe of how yet again she reflects the perfect messages for us. She’s a walking embodiment of the collective energies, constantly mirroring what is most needed at this time.
Many years ago in my twenties, while researching astrological influences and dissecting my own chart, I came across the nodes. The material was very revealing at the time and I kept hold of notes over the years from those hours of research I did at the library, and continued at home in studies, with it. Then come some 10 years or so later, I discovered that for me, the South and North nodes were the most important key to revealing the path that would be most optimal on my evolutionary journey and returned to my work I’d started back then.
This continued to lead me to where I am now and most fully truly engaging this in the last 2-3 years.
The nodes speak to what you came here to learn, and the past challenges and gifts you brought with you for that journey of growth.
And here Astrid is reflecting this again, at a time period I continue to make more shifts, contemplate new ones, and forge ahead and anchor in a path that leads me onward.
Something the collective is also actively engaged in.
It is also being reflected right now during this Full Moon, when the spotlight is on revealing where imbalances are within the partnerships we have on all levels with things in our lives. A need for reviewing that masculine/feminine dance within our energies, as well as looking at the shadow and hidden parts of ourselves we may still not quite be fully aware of, have a handle on, or realize how important they are in what’s playing out around and in front of us.
You may find yourself facing the need to cut cords that no longer serve you at this time, power dynamics may be playing themselves out, and you may even be experiencing surprises or shocks to help you correct your course and feel more in alignment again.
What things are coming to an end of a cycle and asking for completion in your life?
I know currently a couple of major things are happening right now in my own that are ending some major cycles and that are really interesting to observe how they’re unfolding in uncanny and unquestionably connected full-cycle ways.
This Full Moon seems to be speaking to knowing thyself and putting forth your embodied truth before the desire to keep the peace and save face with others.
Where might you still be walking in someone else’s design of you, rather than creating from the heart of you?
Astrid wears this “node” and “balancing” sign directly at the back of her higher heart. There can be no more direct message for clarity and courage of living your truth and moving beyond the limitations that may be holding you back, while also integrating them in order to strengthen and reinvent the new.
The interesting thing is that you can’t see the symbol on her fur unless she stretches forward fully, like in this photo where I captured it while she bent down and over to eat her evening snacks.
It is otherwise hidden from its fullness.
She is demonstrating that you will need to have courage to “stretch” out of the comfort zones you’ve become accustomed to living in and this will put into activation the path of most alignment and light the path that you’ve felt was calling to you, but never quite could see.
Astrid encourages you to do the new and the challenging, rather than what has always felt easy.
You will need to stretch into the unknown.
Then, you will feel more purpose, passion, and pleasure in life when you jump off the tracks laid before you and build a new train that rides the timeline of your essence.
Ever since our Amethyst babies have returned home, the energy has been shaking up and redirecting here. Not in a new direction, per say, but into alignment with what I’d been sensing. The Universe, or All That Is, likes to reiterate things in reflection and with the types of astrological placements I have, much of the time my messages come in clear through an injury or fracture. This took place today.
I slipped on some ice, even after being told twice by Dave to be careful of it AND being cautious. My heel just hit the perfect angle sending me out of balance and falling in a way that overextended my knee. And this leaves me either with a strain or tear to my MCL. At least not a bone fracture, as my usual M.O., but ligament injuries are no fun thing and it will take time to heal.
And where does that leave me?
Only able to focus on my writing again. Go figure!
It was no surprise by me and it just seems that the Universe, or Uni, as I like to call IT has my back and knows me well – that to get into alignment with the momentum needed, there would need to be something put into place.
I’ve also sensed a lot of energy out there and my desire not to engage in it. There may be a part of that in this too, but also reflecting how I’m really ready to move forward with new momentum.
And, just like Astrid went through her little experience of moving energy through her solar plexus recently, I am moving energy through my knee – the place of flexibility, movement, and considered where we assimilate knowledge and learning on a spiritual and energetic level (think kneeling and praying – even being knighted back in the day). When you take into account that knees can also represent fears and humility, it makes a lot of sense.
It’s interesting that Astrid has changed her position of where she lays the last few days for her daytime naps. Normally she’s enjoyed being under the sleigh at center of our room or under the low meditation table in the exercise room adjacent to ours.
But I’ve found her now in the top level of her castle tower and with her body curved in positions where her bunny butt hangs out the window on one side or her legs do.
She seems to say with this that the peace in our hearts can keep us anchored and safe, even when we stretch parts of ourselves through unknown doorways.
That it’s about moving forward with a new approach to change, which is basically the unknown.
“You know, the unknown you’ve felt around your book,” she adds.
She likes to cut to the chase.
“Yes, you’re absolutely right,” I reply. “And you know that I’ve said I was going to get back to it full time after my birthday even though I’ve felt some fear around it.”
“Yes, and I’ve seen you clearing the slate and making room for it,” she says. “You’ve been feeling the tug at your heart for a few weeks now, while being presented with life options, and we’ve been waiting to see what you’d choose.”
She’s right. I have been feeling it in the background very profoundly and started getting the sense to jump full on in again, which is why on Monday I’d announced that Monday and Wednesday’s blogs would likely go dormant while I switch back gears to writing full time.
“Yes, and you know how powerful your words and feelings are. You then created the scenario to ensure it!” she says with a wink.
“I did indeed, because now I will need to rest my knee and lay low, which will keep me where I feel I want and need to be. It also ensures I listen to the messages so as not to create anything really terrible. I think the wind and storm, and now the knee, all point to new directions and their timeliness I’ve felt in my soul. Funny that I also was heading into a new form of painting with my side creative time to accompany writing, which all keeps me able to sit or lay on the bed while doing them.”
“You do follow your feelings well,” she says. “There are times you may feel vulnerable or even unsure about something, but you have never been one to resist the winds of change. That’s why you braved those 80 mile an hour winds without hesitation and stepped into them with determination to retrieve your things. Your knee is not a punishment or bad thing, but simply a reset and an opportunity to surrender even more and open to yet wider, even more flexible possibilities you have yet to imagine with your writing. Anything that feels overwhelming can be embraced through humility. I know that the next phase will likely be your hardest one yet with the book, but the wisdom of your knee is to yield in the face of change. Something I know you can do well, my friend. Remember where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. Now repeat that process. The parts and players may be different, but the game is still the same.” she says.
I wonder if any of you are approaching similar resets in your life that seem both exciting and overwhelming?
Do Astrid’s words touch a chord?