I write this from the Forest Portal’s surprise Spring snow day, again reflecting how things shift moment-to-moment. Yesterday was special because it marked what would have been Cosmo’s (my sweet rabbit boy) fourteenth Earth birthday and on his day, as I do always with all of my dear ones’ special days, we communed through nature. Our adventure hike in Washoe Indian area was a revisit of one we only introduced ourselves to part of a couple of weeks ago for the first time with intention to complete it.
We decided on a picnic hike (above photo in a field of blooming bitterbrush was our chosen rest spot) for the nearly eight miles of exploration, which not only graced us with a solo journey without seeing a human the whole time, but proved my words before we left to be foretelling of the gifts Cosmo would bring forth for us.
I said out loud to Dave, “I wonder what Cosmo will gift us this time? What messages does he have? What animals might we see, what feather might he leave?” Well, the wildly windy day (feeling like 50 mile an hour winds at times) with a mist of faery rain drops keeping us cool, but never wet, spoke of their own purposeful, timely messages and nurturing alongside the unusual sightings.
The only companions were coyote crossing our path with a black tipped tail, raven flying overhead with a snake in its mouth, and a huge pile of the most gorgeous feathers from a Sooty Grouse with peacock tipped iridescence in gold, bronze, green, blue, purple, and pink but no body, bones or blood around – just stunning plumes. Minutes later I found a longer feather you can see pictured below with the others from a different bird – maybe hawk or osprey?
I knew each sighting was a gift and omen that I was to receive from Cosmo so I honored the bird and wrapped the ones I was called to, gently in my shirt. Being an area the Washoe Indians frequented, created extra reverence for this bird, and the gift Cosmo had brought through the Universe to me. Many Plains Indian tribes used to honor these birds with a Grouse Dance. My dance will be a sacred ritual of intention and creation this week onward, lighting each step with newly infused perspective and energy.
The photos don’t do the colors justice when the sunlight hits them, but I was told I’ll be creating something sacred with these at some point and they are a gift for imagining and manifesting that beauty.
They carry a message of personal power, protection, purpose, centering, grounding, harnessing energy for clearly defined goals, the sacred spiral for vision and enlightenment with the Great Mystery, sacred and rhythmic movement and harmonized dance within Earth’s cycles for higher awareness, creation of selfless beauty, ceasing external movement for inner life realization, and new rhythms, teachings, creations, and rituals to lead you into new dimensions.
Once abundant, grouse are now less prolific, but its feathers sure speak to abundance, beauty, and rituals that bridge Cosmos and Earth. This beautiful being somehow feels like an extended hand of clarity and connection to help me integrate the new and bring through what I’ve struggled with expressing.
And lastly, right before the hike ended three very cosmic-like deer crossed our path and just kept watching us without fear. I thought at first they were all female, but one walked out before they leaped gracefully away and it had tiny antlers growing about three inches or so – a boy! I knew right away this was Cosmo, Joy and Nestor – my rabbit soul family has often showed up in deer form when no one else is around.
In Glacier National Park, two cosmic deer had shown up after Joy’s transition – they were Nestor and Joy, as Cosmo was still with us. Yesterday Cosmo joined the girls and their showing up through the portal of unusual energies and signs felt like they were opening a new doorway for me. There may be some twists and turns as things transform, but a promise invites me – both a new one and a reminder of the old one I made. There’s that sacred spiral that grouse speaks of.
Much of the day reminded me of the adventures we had with Cosmo and Joy while in the Magick Bus for 1 1/2 years – similar vistas, memories popping up of favorite places this reminded me of, that in between-worlds energy, nobody else around, similar sightings including grouse and cosmic deer, and strange but interesting weather.
I’m still reflecting on the messages of these signs he sent, as there feels to be a story he’s sharing through them of things upcoming. A spiral dance in motion of bringing me back to center.
I also received clarification yesterday around another change. Cosmo has a very clear way of coming through since he departed on Halloween/Samhain when the veils are thinnest.
Although I won’t regularly be teaching Reiki anymore, it came through that I can and will offer just one class per each level of Reiki this year.
It might be an ongoing, once yearly offering, but for now it’s something I’ve opened to because of the state of things in the world where energetic upgrades would be beneficial, and due to inquiries both spoken and unspoken. I get a lot of messages from people on the energetic levels, so I’m putting this out there in case it speaks to you.
I’ve created a separate page with some information and how you can register.
I’ll be opening the Reiki training to online availability only, likely via Zoom, but maybe Skype to only 6 participants for each class.
These will not be starting until August, as I need time to focus on current and new projects, as well as the new changes in my life upcoming that Cosmo is also hinting at and conveying importance in timing of.
I have a very busy few months of client sessions, book cover painting for an author, writing, wedding details, record keeping for our side business, and channeling new information coming through in an anchored way. I feel some large changes on the horizon that my current projects are stepping stones toward, which makes them integral to complete.
So, the page will not have specific dates in the months proposed. That is something I will finalize once I see who actually commits to and confirms their participation, as I will then be able to communicate with the group and customize and optimize days and times for the whole.
You’ll have the ability to register with deposit, or in full on the page below.
Please contact me with any questions, to discuss your unique path, and/or individual specific needs at the contact link on this page too, so I can know how to support you best:
FYI: If you contact me and don’t hear back from me in a day or two, please check your spam folder because I’ve had a lot of people find my emails there for some reason. You can also check back with me again in a couple of days if you don’t hear from me and I’ll message you a different way if needed.
I thought I’d hop on briefly after being away from blogging the last ten days, just to share some of the beauty, special moments, and reflections I’ve experienced during this time. Maybe you’ve felt similar things or this little burst of nature’s inspiration may be exactly the breath of fresh air for you right now. In any event, I hope that you had a beautiful Summer Solstice, however you chose to welcome it in.
I’m still spending most of my time within the inner landscapes, but that is reflected in an increased deepening with nature and immersing even more in her realm.
This mirrors the time we lived in the Magick Bus exploring nature and National Parks for nearly a year and a half when life called me in a new direction. It’s only now that I’m getting what it all meant and where the embodiment of that change was leading.
It’s almost been like getting my feet wet again in body, from what was a resurrection of sorts from the waters of life – actually most literally. I have needed the last couple of years to reacquaint myself with things from a new perspective, which has had me dipping in and out of some things from before, tried out in the now.
Some clothes just haven’t fit, either feeling too tight or too loose – meaning they were still too tied in with the past and the energy I had completed, or they were so new that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and hence all the extra room to explore.
It’s been a time of allowing what ever wants to move through, letting go of to-do’s, and softening the reflections so that even my process with things doesn’t mirror how I used to process stuff. Life is a soft and gentle focus now. In this way, not only will what ever the new is that comes through be different than before, but the journey will be too.
I find it important for me that nothing mirrors the past, although can weave in the possibilities it held.
It still feels very fresh and I’m only beginning to immerse, as last week was more about the surrender, continued nurturing, and letting nature guide me.
So, with Solstice ringing in Summer, there’s been a ton of outdoor activity. It started Wednesday of last week while we explored a new hike to Cascade Falls – a shorter one, but climbs technically quite a bit. That felt invigorating and perfect for allowing the flow just like the gushes of water cascading down the mountain. Both the climb and the being with the water were perfect metaphors for things.
That same day we went to Baldwin Beach – another new beach for us. There, a mother duck and her seven ducklings visited and after they explored the higher activity of people down a ways from us, they came to rest in peace in front of our umbrella. Another beautiful reflection.
Thursday was a very special day – the two year anniversary of Astrid’s coming home to me at the gateway of Solstice. That’s what these first three photos celebrate. Since Astrid is such a huge part of this new life journey for me, I felt it important to capture some beautiful moments between us in the forest portal backyard of our house.
She was a surprise to me, but as I navigate this next part of my life, Astrid is my greatest guide. Where I have no example for the new I reinvent, she emulates the potential I most admire.
I love this photo below where she and I look merged as one – almost creating a Yin/Yang effect in how her body curves into mine.
Solstice is a very special time of the year for me ever since three years ago my beloved bunny, Joy, transitioned through its portal on that day in a place very dear to me – Montana. She and Astrid came from the same rabbit rescue and I feel that their entering and exiting at this gateway is significant.
The Mayans celebrated Solstice for spiritual initiation and change, creating ceremony to be in harmony with the Earth and Cosmic energies.
I remember the words from my dear shaman friend Amaru in Peru, “Nokan Inti Kani” – meaning “I am the Sun.”
Solstice extends an invitation to join the Sun’s energy and connect with your Higher Self, follow inspiration and dreams, and tune inside to the alchemy of “as within, so without.”
I find nature to be that gateway for me, as are my rabbit companions, and the Cosmos.
The Solstice gateway gifted me this beautiful golden hawk feather that I’m so grateful for.
So every day since Wednesday, nature time increased with tons of mountain biking, hiking, and beach time, as well as late afternoon/evening gardening time upon returning home from the physical activity.
To say I slept well is an understatement, as the deepening into body and moving a lot of energy in a grounding way was both nourishing and took me through cycles of decharge and recharge.
Solstice saw us in Squaw Valley where I enjoyed an intentional walk in the gorgeous meadows by myself anchoring in that new while Dave enjoyed his last day of skiing on the first day of Summer. You’ll see photos below of how beautiful this area is, reminding me of both the Swiss Alps (where I haven’t yet been, but seen photos of) and adored Iceland, as well as my favorite spots in Montana.
Seventeen miles of biking along the Truckee River that day was a way to move the energy and flow like the river.
Twenty two miles of biking the next day continued moving that energy along more gorgeous vistas.
All the while during each ride, allowing visions, thoughts, and feelings to flow, as my body did the integrating.
Two back-to-back hikes to different lakes Sunday followed by a vegan potluck picnic provided continued anchoring and as I said, each day I’d come home and plop myself in the garden planting perennials to create a low maintenance, inspiring, and beautiful backdrop that blends wild with a little intention.
I promised the Faeries of the land many things when moving here and I’m happy to create a special sanctuary for them to play in.
I’ll share more of the front and side gardens, as things blossom, but for now here are my beautiful Portulaca blooms that I adore!
The forest out back is in early stages of bloom, but as you can see they are already creating a welcome carpet to our home for the Faeries.
I just love how the wildflowers are blooming with joy everywhere – and it’s just the beginning. They feel like a love spell on my heart.
And as you can see from the below photos of Squaw Valley meadows, the Truckee River, and Cascade Falls, there’s been an abundance of inspiration all around from Mother Earth – the best nurturer there is.
As mentioned, I’m just beginning to immerse into a new realm of exploration within, so all of these good nature vibes are very nurturing to the vulnerable parts feeling safe to come through.
Because I feel that I haven’t much example to draw upon for that new, I feel nature provides me the best template and reflection for the journey.
Cultivating the garden is also very supportive, as my heart guides its creation in reflection of me as well – mostly wild, with woven threads of cultivated pockets that create synergy and harmony.
This last Wednesday I went to my third meditation group meeting that ended in a lovely picnic dinner at the beach with everyone who joined, however I feel it will likely be my last time going (at least for now) because I’m clear my work at home is more aligned for me at this time. I did leave the group with a few book recommendations to help with the “self love” topic, so they at least have some tools for any exploration they may decide to embark on past this month’s theme.
I feel called to explore on my own for now, dipping in and out when the moment calls.
The good news is (at least to me), I feel like I’m in greater alignment with the new path I’m creating than I was before. Remember I mentioned those clothes that felt too tight or too big and loose?
Energetically the ones that felt too big are now taking root and feeling more like home.
And on the literal, tangible level, the continued cleansing of, and weeding through, my closet leaves me with what feels to be the perfect essence of a place I now feel comfortable in heading to.
What’s fascinating is that the five Portal Paintings that found their new home, only just departed from Nevada on the Solstice – Yes! The Solstice of all days! Talk about divine alignment. Even though I dropped them off a week and a half earlier, they didn’t get crated and shipped out until then and so that also feels reflective of this anchoring in and clarity beginning.
The whole wild journey to get them to that point has mirrored so much of the changes I’m going through.
I’m excited for them to arrive in their new home across the country in Athens, Georgia with their amazing co-guardian where they will be open to anyone who wants to visit and meditate/work with them. This new home is being created into a form of a mini healing center welcome to people wanting to immerse in a conscious journey. As things evolve with that, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a way that people can experience them and more, and if at some point they are ready to journey on, they will be available via that portal.
I leave you now to return to my garden so I can complete the last planting I didn’t get a chance to finish yet. It feels integral to the next phase beginning.
What I love is that although the future is unknown and the vision is yet to be seen of how things look, the journey is so much more gentle and peaceful. There are those ebbs and flows, but it’s all naturally unfolding if I listen, allow, honor, and observe.
Do you experience reflections in your life that mirror the changes you’re going through?
My guess is we all do and if we stop to observe things, we’ll see it and make those connections.
If not, how might you create intention around something – like a project, gardening, etc. – to embody the potential you’re being guided to?
It will be interesting to see where the journey leads all of us.
I’ve noticed a shift in a lot of people who have been more inclined to remain behind the scenes and perhaps struggled with being more public and sharing their gifts, now stepping out in bigger ways. There seems to be a shift of welcoming more vulnerability and more connection and I’m sure it is happening both as others continue to light the way for us in this regard AND as the collective shifts into being more ready, or more in need, to receive those of us who may have felt more like the minority or outcasts.
It’s not that everyone will do this in some huge or flashy way, but even if it’s just opening to connecting more with local community, finding yourself opening to a small circle of friends or sharing more with your family than you have before, or sharing your work through different channels you may not have ventured into in the past, there does seem to be a move toward allowing yourself more space in the world, feeling more safe or courageous, and ultimately creating more connection through opening to being seen.
And as this momentum of “being seen” more unfolds, it seems to be going hand-in-hand with seeing more expansively – meaning perspective shifts are taking place and more options are presenting themselves, which boils down to a feeling of being open to entertaining greater possibilities and feeling more safe to take up space.
Astrid wanted me to share how even she is stepping “out” more, as she just yesterday debuted alongside me in a short video I posted via social media as invitation to our New Moon Gratitude Challenge Giveaway.
She’s not shy in sharing messages, but she isn’t always too keen on videos. Photos have been alright, but anytime I try to capture her on video she either just stares me down, moves away, or stops altogether whatever it is she was doing that caught my attention to capture on video in the first place.
She is ready to be seen more and accompany me as a team. So I’m allowing her that safe space to venture in as she feels and by doing it together, it seems to be a way for us both to open to more and share in a new way to others.
It is also her way of letting me know that she is going to be upping her game. And I know that means I better get ready, because if she’s expanding that means I’ll be rising to the occasion to continue matching vibrations for the work evolving for us with these shifts.
I’m not sure if everyone will be able to access the video, but here’s a link just in case.
So that’s a wonderful new development for her and for both of us together.
It all seems to speak to a movement of greater visibility within and without. People are seeing and experiencing themselves more clearly, finding more courage, and things are rising to the surface.
As this happens, our vision is shifting and we’re also more capable of welcoming and inviting in new options that we weren’t so keen on before or weren’t vibrationally a match for before.
This leads to being willing to try new things – just like Astrid is opening to being in videos with me. Even her having her weekly blog is part of this greater visibility, as she steps into a new role herself.
And each time we allow something more into our experience, greater possibilities are available. We realize we aren’t confined to just one or two ways to do something, but that there are many ways we might express the same desires and gifts we have.
Choices are more prevalent and of course that means making decisions can be more challenging. Yet, since the choices are simply varying ways you can express a similar essence and energy, then truly there isn’t a wrong choice – just choice.
When we are more willing to see ourselves and be seen, to extend ourselves in new ways, we find greater courage to make choices without feeling they limit us.
Choices take us to the next step.
They are a bridge.
And from there we can make another choice.
Astrid encourages me to share about my recent experience, so here it is.
Lately I’ve felt more inward, for various reasons having to do with life changes taking place – I may do a separate blog on that upcoming – but after having a much more public presence with my work in the past in terms of teaching and so forth, I have pulled out of that for some time now.
I still have a public presence online for sharing my new creations and anything Astrid and I feel might be helpful or inspiring, and for nurturing special connections, but I have felt drawn to be more by myself, otherwise, and especially so in the physical – preferring to stay home or do things separately, rather than attend lots of gatherings and so forth.
Wednesday night, however, I stepped out (just as Astrid did yesterday) and decided to go to a meditation group with Dave. It’s one he meets with regularly each week. I’ve not been nudged to go because I have my own “walking meditation of life,” because of feeling I needed my own space, and also having a lot of things I wanted to use the time differently for.
This evening would be different, as one of the people was inviting everyone for dinner after and it was the end of the month’s theme before a new one would be coming – I didn’t know that until I went.
I decided to re-immerse myself in a group setting, which is reminiscent to my teaching days, to see how it would feel.
It’s a wonderful group, great people, good vibes, and peace filled.
What was interesting is that normally they have about 5-7 people usually, but of course the day I decide to go they have the most – 13. No coincidence.
It involves a meditation, either in silence or guided for about a half hour, and then an open discussion around the month’s theme – mindfulness was May’s.
Other than introducing myself and why I was there, which was a round-circle intro at start, I didn’t say a peep.
But I was very present and listened and felt into how I felt being there.
At the end of the conversation one of the facilitators asked if anyone had ideas for the next month’s theme. Five or six ideas were thrown out and when everyone was done brainstorming I suddenly was nudged to speak.
It was surprising to me that I did, since I just don’t speak just to speak and mostly stay in observing mode unless I’m teaching, which puts me in a different position. But the feeling was so strong that I just honored it.
In a nut shell my theme ended up being self-love. I detailed why, taking into account everything I’d heard from everyone that evening, the questions people were exploring, answers searched for, and even the themes they came up.
Self-love, to me, was the umbrella for all of them and I explained why.
I was the last to speak and they took a poll after and they ended up unanimously choosing my topic.
I had no idea that my thought would have that impact.
Later that evening at dinner, a few people thanked me for the topic, as they felt challenged by it and knew it was important because of that. Another thanked me for the reminder, as it felt exactly what they needed with things they’ve been working on and had forgotten. Another reiterated that it was an answer to the example he’d given about how to permanently clear a glass of water that’s dirty – symbolism used during the evening’s discussion.
I was grateful I had gone that night and listened to the nudge to allow myself to be seen again more, but in a different capacity.
It reiterated to me what I find to be my strengths in groups, which one of them is my ability to hold a present and neutral energy.
And I found it interesting that the theme everyone felt was exactly what they needed, whether it felt comfortable or not, was also the one this year’s Challenge ended up being about – of which I had just hours before posted on my blog.
In self-love and nurturing, finding those depths within to appreciate and bring to light, we do indeed shine our lights more, open to being seen, and invite more expansive ways of seeing what is possible.
So, both Astrid and I had a “stepping out” this week. We stretched beyond what was currently our comfort zone, which merged both an inward growth that had an outward reach.
We embraced our gifts and made space for them to grow and see where they might lead next.
And that leads us both wanting to leave you with the reminder of our New Moon Gratitude Giveaway Challenge.
Originally we said to let us know by end of today, May 31st, if you felt called to join us, but we’re extending that to the end of this Sunday, June 2nd.
We already have a lovely group of people officially joining and a couple who are joining, but on their own, yet want to do it during the same time so that they combine their efforts and energy collectively.
I know it’s challenging to look at yourself and perhaps challenging to think how you could possibly come up with 10 things a day to be grateful for and why about yourself. It’s okay if some might pop up more than once throughout the 8 days, as perhaps that theme is speaking a lot and it’s an important thing getting your attention. It’s also wonderful if you actually have unique things each day. It challenges you to shift your perspective and find the things you’d easily be able to “out there,” but now do so “in here.”
You are a creative being and that makes you limitless in how to be curious and look at yourself.
They don’t have to be profound things.
They simply need to be about you.
You are beautiful and worthy of this.
I believe fully if you embrace something like this – even if not officially by joining us – that you will feel and experience a shift and may find greater clarity to directions you’re contemplating, perhaps less doubt, more joy, a positive outlook, feel even more compassionate, and even see things shift outside of you or become clearer because of the new way you’re relating with yourself. It may just make you feel much better about you and that makes your experiences with others much better.
If you do want to join us, please let me know either in the comments or message me directly through my CONTACT PAGE.
Wishing you all a beautiful weekend as you anchor into the New Moon energy.
I feel this one will speak to a lot of you right now.
May has flown by, but I’ve definitely been experiencing the contraction before expansion that Lee reflects here, and the full circle moments.
Which of the themes are coming up for you?
Astrid is right in alignment with today’s Full Moon in Libra, as she wears her own version of the “balancing scales” on her fur today, but literally IS the symbol for the nodes. AMAZING!!!! I was taken back at first noticing last night and was in awe of how yet again she reflects the perfect messages for us. She’s a walking embodiment of the collective energies, constantly mirroring what is most needed at this time.
Many years ago in my twenties, while researching astrological influences and dissecting my own chart, I came across the nodes. The material was very revealing at the time and I kept hold of notes over the years from those hours of research I did at the library, and continued at home in studies, with it. Then come some 10 years or so later, I discovered that for me, the South and North nodes were the most important key to revealing the path that would be most optimal on my evolutionary journey and returned to my work I’d started back then.
This continued to lead me to where I am now and most fully truly engaging this in the last 2-3 years.
The nodes speak to what you came here to learn, and the past challenges and gifts you brought with you for that journey of growth.
And here Astrid is reflecting this again, at a time period I continue to make more shifts, contemplate new ones, and forge ahead and anchor in a path that leads me onward.
Something the collective is also actively engaged in.
It is also being reflected right now during this Full Moon, when the spotlight is on revealing where imbalances are within the partnerships we have on all levels with things in our lives. A need for reviewing that masculine/feminine dance within our energies, as well as looking at the shadow and hidden parts of ourselves we may still not quite be fully aware of, have a handle on, or realize how important they are in what’s playing out around and in front of us.
You may find yourself facing the need to cut cords that no longer serve you at this time, power dynamics may be playing themselves out, and you may even be experiencing surprises or shocks to help you correct your course and feel more in alignment again.
What things are coming to an end of a cycle and asking for completion in your life?
I know currently a couple of major things are happening right now in my own that are ending some major cycles and that are really interesting to observe how they’re unfolding in uncanny and unquestionably connected full-cycle ways.
This Full Moon seems to be speaking to knowing thyself and putting forth your embodied truth before the desire to keep the peace and save face with others.
Where might you still be walking in someone else’s design of you, rather than creating from the heart of you?
Astrid wears this “node” and “balancing” sign directly at the back of her higher heart. There can be no more direct message for clarity and courage of living your truth and moving beyond the limitations that may be holding you back, while also integrating them in order to strengthen and reinvent the new.
The interesting thing is that you can’t see the symbol on her fur unless she stretches forward fully, like in this photo where I captured it while she bent down and over to eat her evening snacks.
It is otherwise hidden from its fullness.
She is demonstrating that you will need to have courage to “stretch” out of the comfort zones you’ve become accustomed to living in and this will put into activation the path of most alignment and light the path that you’ve felt was calling to you, but never quite could see.
Astrid encourages you to do the new and the challenging, rather than what has always felt easy.
You will need to stretch into the unknown.
Then, you will feel more purpose, passion, and pleasure in life when you jump off the tracks laid before you and build a new train that rides the timeline of your essence.
Ever since our Amethyst babies have returned home, the energy has been shaking up and redirecting here. Not in a new direction, per say, but into alignment with what I’d been sensing. The Universe, or All That Is, likes to reiterate things in reflection and with the types of astrological placements I have, much of the time my messages come in clear through an injury or fracture. This took place today.
I slipped on some ice, even after being told twice by Dave to be careful of it AND being cautious. My heel just hit the perfect angle sending me out of balance and falling in a way that overextended my knee. And this leaves me either with a strain or tear to my MCL. At least not a bone fracture, as my usual M.O., but ligament injuries are no fun thing and it will take time to heal.
And where does that leave me?
Only able to focus on my writing again. Go figure!
It was no surprise by me and it just seems that the Universe, or Uni, as I like to call IT has my back and knows me well – that to get into alignment with the momentum needed, there would need to be something put into place.
I’ve also sensed a lot of energy out there and my desire not to engage in it. There may be a part of that in this too, but also reflecting how I’m really ready to move forward with new momentum.
And, just like Astrid went through her little experience of moving energy through her solar plexus recently, I am moving energy through my knee – the place of flexibility, movement, and considered where we assimilate knowledge and learning on a spiritual and energetic level (think kneeling and praying – even being knighted back in the day). When you take into account that knees can also represent fears and humility, it makes a lot of sense.
It’s interesting that Astrid has changed her position of where she lays the last few days for her daytime naps. Normally she’s enjoyed being under the sleigh at center of our room or under the low meditation table in the exercise room adjacent to ours.
But I’ve found her now in the top level of her castle tower and with her body curved in positions where her bunny butt hangs out the window on one side or her legs do.
She seems to say with this that the peace in our hearts can keep us anchored and safe, even when we stretch parts of ourselves through unknown doorways.
That it’s about moving forward with a new approach to change, which is basically the unknown.
“You know, the unknown you’ve felt around your book,” she adds.
She likes to cut to the chase.
“Yes, you’re absolutely right,” I reply. “And you know that I’ve said I was going to get back to it full time after my birthday even though I’ve felt some fear around it.”
“Yes, and I’ve seen you clearing the slate and making room for it,” she says. “You’ve been feeling the tug at your heart for a few weeks now, while being presented with life options, and we’ve been waiting to see what you’d choose.”
She’s right. I have been feeling it in the background very profoundly and started getting the sense to jump full on in again, which is why on Monday I’d announced that Monday and Wednesday’s blogs would likely go dormant while I switch back gears to writing full time.
“Yes, and you know how powerful your words and feelings are. You then created the scenario to ensure it!” she says with a wink.
“I did indeed, because now I will need to rest my knee and lay low, which will keep me where I feel I want and need to be. It also ensures I listen to the messages so as not to create anything really terrible. I think the wind and storm, and now the knee, all point to new directions and their timeliness I’ve felt in my soul. Funny that I also was heading into a new form of painting with my side creative time to accompany writing, which all keeps me able to sit or lay on the bed while doing them.”
“You do follow your feelings well,” she says. “There are times you may feel vulnerable or even unsure about something, but you have never been one to resist the winds of change. That’s why you braved those 80 mile an hour winds without hesitation and stepped into them with determination to retrieve your things. Your knee is not a punishment or bad thing, but simply a reset and an opportunity to surrender even more and open to yet wider, even more flexible possibilities you have yet to imagine with your writing. Anything that feels overwhelming can be embraced through humility. I know that the next phase will likely be your hardest one yet with the book, but the wisdom of your knee is to yield in the face of change. Something I know you can do well, my friend. Remember where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. Now repeat that process. The parts and players may be different, but the game is still the same.” she says.
I wonder if any of you are approaching similar resets in your life that seem both exciting and overwhelming?
Do Astrid’s words touch a chord?
Rebirthing seems to be a theme running through the collective and just today it came through to me through five different streams of experiences and messages from others. One of them being Astrid, as rabbits reflect this symbolism well. She’s been very eager the last couple of days to not only nudge me hard at my ankle, but has bee-lined to me in order to grab a hold of my pant leg with her teeth to get my attention.
Likely she knew of the energy overload I was experiencing and the upgrade about to take place, but it also seems she’s been really keen on my being with her so that we can navigate the unknowns together.
Rabbits are very at home in the labyrinth Netherworld where intricate underground passageways and dark twisting tunnels are the norm and where they feel secure navigating their travels by intuition and inner light alone.
Change is no stranger to them and they are accustomed to making decisions in the face of fear and maintain peaceful focus amidst chaos.
After all, their survival relies on it.
This sense of self and ingenuity is a gift that reflects to us our ability to master the same within us awaiting our reclaiming.
As Lee shared in his December Energy Update yesterday, “We are built to handle change.”
And as the ever-rebirthing rabbit says, “You, too, can get in touch with change and ride the sands of time, as the seasons weave their cycles.”
Astrid knows change very intimately and has braved the new every step of the way. Recently she shared about her own upgrade to a Castle Tower, and while it had mirrored our own shifts up until then, it was also foreshadowing more change upcoming for me.
That hit yesterday, as I’ve added a heap load of new into my life recently (including a wave of new energy painting) and its been a process to integrate a balanced schedule with it all.
I’ve been feeling a build-up of energy in a way I can’t describe and it catapulted me to this suspended point outside of this or that. It released tethers that provided any sense of familiarity and detached me even more.
Astrid says, “This is the Cosmic way, and when you are at home within this unknown, you realize the power of your own inner light above all else.”
It keeps coming at me with the expression of new inspiration and focuses, along with the stripping away of layers, the joy of surrendering things to others ready to own their own level of responsibility and reclaiming, and the deepening gratitude that stretches me to farther reaches of heart generosity that lives for today.
Astrid often sits tall and looks me straight into my heart with piercing wisdom that seems both so far away and so tangibly rich.
She says, “This is because I reflect the heart’s Great Mystery that can only be experienced by way of both loving and letting go more. Then you experience the vastness and beautiful complexity of Cosmic Love.”
She continues sharing “This overload of energy is a liminal space you’ve been experiencing as a compilation of layering new pieces onto pieces you don’t want to forget, while juggling ways to hold them within the still limited version of unrealized potential, rather than relaxing into these things already being who you are. The reminders have already done their work and the memory can now let go into the ease of embodiment. It’s time to create from the impetus of fertile inspiration and allow these to rebirth completely anew.”
And so, yesterday, my mini Notebook (the computer I’ve been using the last 5 years) finally and fully overloaded. I’ve been receiving messages from it over the past few months that there was no space remaining and our attempts to delete things went in vein.
Then my computer said, “No more.”
Just as Astrid said, “Come join me as you already are.”
Ironically and synchronously this took place yesterday directly after I posted Lee’s December Energy Update and right after I received an email from a very special spirit and artisan who after a couple of months since onset of our correspondence, had completed creating “a celestial muse” she was working on in collaboration with me that happens to embody “creation” and not surprisingly, but without me saying anything, wove the song of my heart into being.
It just so happened that I was ready for this, as anything of importance to me – truly only my new novel – is stored on a tiny little chip, and things that might “seem” important, but speak of the old days for me, were surrendered away. I let it all go, including several years of saved emails and work correspondence from days of the past and embraced Dave’s extra, heavy duty computer as my new replacement, which I’ve been using for our shared side business bookkeeping.
The overload caused everything to run in circles, take forever to implement, reverse working at all without hours of dissecting, and simply not listen to or understand commands.
In essence, I would not be moving forward unless I walked into a much more expansive field where pieces are not even present to remind me and only embodiment speaks for itself.
All of the new energy couldn’t keep piling on to things working in the background and using up space in one way or form. A larger playing field within the vortex of my heart had to be opened where things move freely and are simply an intrinsic part of me.
I said goodbye to the memories while closing all access of return and this new and vastly larger platform now provides the space for that “impetus of fertile inspiration” Astrid spoke of.
Better yet, I have no attachment to it and anything on it, which feels extra freeing, as I don’t feel the computer to be mine. It is more of a portal and conduit to bring things through, but to shut away and detach from at end of each day.
And then today, some wonderful and full circle soulful unfoldings took place when the perfect guardian said yes to my passing on three sacred items that speak of what has been some of the greatest importance to me and my lifetimes, which I only recently had also been nudged to surrender over in trust.
Astrid was specifically involved in this, literally getting my attention and moving these pieces into my awareness.
I couldn’t ask for a wiser companion.
I’ve also found myself giving out in bigger ways than ever lately, feeling that vastness and abundance, without need to hold on. There are infinite ways for things to come about. To hold onto something as an idea of insurance was also robbing the good it could do in so many other ways now, including the very way I thought it might one day help.
Astrid has been quite the muse in all of this – amusing and musing!
When I do something from that infinite place she binkies with delight – I call it a Cosmic Binky.
When I’m missing the point or urgency, she grabs hold of my pant leg.
When I’m “getting it” and download her wisdom, she peers deeply through me in her Buddha Bunny- like stance with eyes dark as the Cosmos and a twinkle of starlight at center.
This morning, as we were still prepping Dave’s computer for me I was upstairs at our usual Ask Astrid blog time so Queen Astrid came running upstairs to get me. She waited patiently beneath the graceful towering giraffes – her grounded sentinels of grace and divine purpose.
From there she was downloading today’s message, as she helped me to connect the dots with all the latest happenings.
Every day a new layer of fine-tuning is integrated.
She reminded me that every time my energy gets an “upgrade,” so do my computers and cell phones.
And we both know that this is true for many of you out there as well.
Our energy shifts affect things around us.
Rabbits are finely attuned to energies and reflect them to the tiniest degree.
My two other rabbits, Nestor and Joy, used to have physical blow-outs because of the expansive energy they would channel and their bodies had to readjust, which isn’t the easiest always for bunnies.
Astrid is much better at managing her energy and wants me to understand those tweaks and fine-tunings that can help with optimizing my own.
This time it wasn’t about forcing a change by crashing my computer and losing things, but more about mindfulness that gave me the option of tweaking realizations and moving forward more effectively and in bigger ways.
As we go through changes, which right now everyone is experiencing in varying degrees of relative intensity, there are ways to tune into those little tweaks so that we can all optimize our energy.
Sometimes they’re easier to see and feel than others, so reflections like these can assist us.
For me, it seems Astrid is sharing that just as she fully chewed down and got rid of her Carrot Cottage so it no longer takes up any space, in order to make space for her Castle Tower, so too did I need to look at the tiny ways space was being held by things I already embody.
I had even saved the top roof of the Carrot Cottage with the idea to create a little house upstairs for her and she was not interested in the least bit.
So I’ve since removed it completely once she said, “I told you we’re done mom. I love the memories it held of my being welcome to my forever home, but our love is now permanent and the cardboard house takes up space our hearts can use to create and anchor new growth in.”
So, in reflection, while I may have given up the work and things of the past, if it still sits there even as storage space on a computer, or as an item tucked away on a shelf, they’re still taking up space I could breathe more freely in and by removing them I brush away the dust of memories and awaken the sparkle of birthing new stars.
Astrid smiles. “Change is like the beautiful birth of a star.”
Continued self-love, nurturing, and gentle kindness toward yourself is important to remember and implement, as the strong energy waves of change keep sweeping through. Ups and downs are not unusual while we ride these currents, but breaking the patterns of how we experience things can be possible.
Emotions continue to rise and we are called to greater ways of working with these feelings both around us and within us.
“We are built to handle change,” Lee shares. We can harness our fear and learn to transmute it.
Listen through to the end for a clip from this month’s MP3 from The Portal.
Oh yes! It’s no surprise this energy update resonates hugely and after hearing from all of the participants of our Equinox gathering, I imagine for many many others too. Today, for me has rebirthed a new era, which indeed includes an identity shift, but more so, a complete frequency shift into my soul song signature. I forgot that on each first of the month Lee puts out his energy updates, and so when I heard it this morning it was another confirmation of everything that added to the big smile in my heart.
Astrid has been so excited this morning, running around and jumping on our bed with bursts of energy. I actually caught a small video of it I’ll be posting on Instagram shortly. I also began my feminine cycle this morning igniting a full new cycle in every and all ways and indicates full alignment of this rebirth I’ve been supporting and following.
Key points you’ll discover in Lee’s energy update includes talking about soul contracts changing – something that anchored in for me even more this past week on every level personally and inter-personally, along with the reflection he goes on to discuss that may take place with the identity shifts and soul contract changes.
He shares that this is also a time of inner work before the outer manifests.
A time for working hard on bringing new dreams and visions forth in this next cycle.
That there’s opportunity to shift faster than ever out of the old in every way right now and that new realities are beckoning.
He ends with some thoughts about life force energy rising and how this is an era of kundalini. Synchronously this was a topic spoken about in our Equinox workshop a bit and with a participant after, where I briefly shared my own experiences around this.
This energy is wanting to birth new and Lee poses the question, are you feeling or thinking your way through things when you’re hesitant about them? You can listen to the video for some good advice around this and to understand the natural movement of this energy that is heralding big and new things in.
Once again, nurturing yourself is important and Lee shares how this invites your soul in and creates a synergy of working with it, rather than against it.
A perfect message for this day and new cycle.
I also love the snippet of his sound channeling at the end – another topic very dear to me that I brought through for the Equinox gathering and I sense will eventually be coming through more in the future.
Happy October and new beginnings!