I can’t tell you enough how much I’m witnessing both in my own life and that of others, an incredible, consistent, and rapid amount of change taking place in really big, sometimes surprising, yet always supportive ways. There’s been an increase in the last few weeks of full-circle experiences, messages of re-strengthening boundaries, a need to continually reassess and realign ourselves with what’s truest and most authentic to our spirit and heart right now, the power of choice with committed action to back it up, wake-up calls in terms of health and life shifts, and experiences paralleling timelines, but on a whole other plane and frequency with the closing and opening of doors rapidly sliding into manifestation.
I keep hearing from many about these reflections and have been witnessing a wide gamut of contrasting experiences from people including death, suicide, marriage, endings and beginnings of relationships, births, pregnancy, career changes, reassessing life paths, health crisis, what was going forward suddenly and abruptly shifting gears, but also immediately opening to a better potential.
It all reiterates to me the power of choice and action that supports it without worrying over the fine details and whether it’s “the” answer, but merely following what you’re guided to follow in the moment and trusting All That Is/Universe/God/Goddess/Source to handle things from there.
Declaration of intent and willingness to move forward in all ways will manifest doors opening and closing for us that will mirror the paths most aligned with us following our truth right here and now. So releasing the worry over whether something is it right or wrong just simply can be surrendered, as we’ll know immediately where things are leading once we make a choice by what manifests as direct result.
We seem to get too caught up in decisions and tormented by being “wrong” when there isn’t a wrong…simply a trust that whatever you do, you’ll be supported in the highest way. So we just need to believe that and be open to how things manifest, as result of our movement forward, and its always being for our highest good.
Anyway, transformational energies are swirling around big time and this beautiful Moth (pictured above) that Lynne and I connected with on a hike at Fallen Leaf Lake while she was here, really embodied so much of this frequency, not to mention embodied the peaceful trust I speak of.
She was so serene on a pebble at water’s edge, with waves rolling in, both of us around her, a man and his dog with us whom we came across and were talking with, and even us nudging her pebble she sat on, while talking to her. She was anchored and peaceful, but also so royal in her presence, undisturbed or thrown off her own inner balance and harmony by anything around her.
If you look closely at her, especially her head and body, you might see what I do….how much she reflects her Faery Queen essence in this Moth form.
Powerfully potent energy that just mesmerizes me when I look at this, which is why I am sharing this photo, captured by Lynne and courtesy of her for this post. If you remember, I shared my own magical photo of her from the other angle in another post, but this one really captures her essence and otherworldly energy.
All of this also is in line with a conversation I was having with Laura yesterday about living a magickal life and what that entails, which we both reflected on in our own lives and those around us.
We both agree that to live a life of daily magickal experiences this entails a great deal of discipline.
That seems counter-intuitive, but in fact goes hand-in-hand.
I can’t tell you how many people I know and have seen, who energetically and physically crash while trying so hard to “be” something, rather than simply “being” because they think that will make the magick happen. Or who wait for the magick to start happening before they will commit to their authenticity and heart fully.
I’ve also been seeing people go through more periods of heavy-duty flus, colds, or energetic illness suddenly than they ever have (or perhaps hadn’t had) in very short periods because of extremes and perhaps still “trying” to fit a certain template of “being” they think they need to do in order to live magickally, when in fact magick is simply “being” in the discipline of authenticity and harmonious rhythms flowing in and out.
The key to life, at least that I’ve discovered, is balance so that you don’t have those highs and lows and ups and downs in dramatic ways and when you learn to discipline yourself in this way of being, a magickal life unfolds effortlessly. This also entails saying “enough is enough” to old patterns and cycles, so that you can continue to flow on your own spiral of life.
I feel that this stems from your committed responsibility to being you/the Source of you for the highest good of all concerned.
I went through the crashes myself. I went through the huge pendulum swings of extremes. I always considered myself an extremist in fact….and yet that wasn’t actually my “nature.”
My and our nature is harmony and a return to natural harmony is our spiraling journey I feel.
We really are at a point where everything instantly manifests and there are tighter and tighter reins on your luxury to deny or hide things from yourself, as well as assessing if you’re outweighed in any given area – big ones that come to mind is over-giving or over-receiving.
And in the spirit of this constantly shifting energy and my own need to keep honoring my own authenticity, boundaries, and most harmonious state of “being,” I have had to again reassess some things recently and even had a big flow-in of opportunities to help me feel that out with.
So as example, I’m sharing some of those changes that entail my connection with others, but I am experiencing quite a few in other more personal realms as well.
As mentioned, I’ve recently experienced a bunch of full-circle things that herald to me a big leap about to take place, but also reflected how things can come back around at another frequency/whole other plane of experience when you do the work.
But also, as I’ve mentioned in past posts, when you’re in process of, or about to make huge changes, a lot of things will flow into your experience that could confuse you at first because they may be the very things you’re shifting out of.
This is simply part of that transformational process and an opportunity to revisit your relationship to the things with greater peace and anchoring and without “charge” or “trigger”…like that cleansing that stirs things up for us to simply embrace as natural cycles.
So, also recently, I’ve received requests for my past services circle round in another abundance all at once and a ton of messages, which provided me opportunity again to anchor deeply in my authentic knowing of where I am now and what to say “no” to very clearly and with loving gratitude.
I’ve turned away potential new clients, credited back purchases of art prints, and said “no” to a bunch of requests, potential opportunities, and services, as simply it was most aligned with the new energy I’m focusing on and committing to, to do so.
And I did so with utmost gratitude and reflection on the beauty of it all and the honor that it was.
Sometimes things like this confuse people that maybe they’ve made the wrong choice to go in the direction they have, could possibly play on desperation energy (really big one I feel circulating these days) in reflection to still being in process of believing in their abundance or strengthening their belief in the new, or simply could feel like a message to split their energies between old and new.
While none of that would be wrong to do, as all things will lead us to exactly where we are to be in the timing that is right for each of us, and yet these could also create that straddling of two worlds, continually feeling confused and unclear, drain you of your energy because of not supporting fully what is speaking most authentically to your heart, or block other opportunities from coming in.
After all, if we truly believe we are abundant beings, then we ARE abundant beings. There isn’t only one opportunity that will arrive and by saying “no” that’s it. You have the ability to manifest limitless opportunities and each one will provide a different level of potential.
There isn’t just one way to do something for sure. Yet there are ways of choosing that can make you feel more in flow, clear, invigorated, and in alignment.
All that to say, “I hear and feel you.”
I’ve also had to continuously go through these processes in my own way over time as well.
And with discipline and practice, I’ve been able to move into a peaceful and easier flow that has enabled me to consistently experience balance now and harmony, whereas I mentioned, I used to experience extremes and then energetic crashes or physical manifestations of stress created by this feeling of being pulled in opposing directions, or of not owning who I am and claiming my authentic voice fully.
It is with doing so that I’ve come to be able to say I no longer experience stress, anxiety, worry, tormenting inner dialogue (to the point of thinking I’m crazy), fears around who I am and showing up as so, crashes, extremes, physical manifestations of being inwardly divided, relationships of all sorts that were doomed to go no where and reflect what I wasn’t honoring in myself, nor the need to monitor foods I eat other than remaining true to being 100% vegan to match my truth, and instead only draw in more of this harmony I experience.
It’s a drastic life change that others wouldn’t notice unless they really knew me “once upon a time” in all ways. I’m so grateful for all of it and what it’s all taught me, not to mention am grateful for the reflections that show up.
But I do have to mention that things have shifted even with recent offerings I’ve put out.
I had foresight to say when I did put them out there that I didn’t know how long I’d be offering them and they may be temporary. And now that has manifested.
This includes (at least at this time) my not taking on any more new Intuitive Energy Guidance/Coaching clients after I finish working with current clients already with me. I’ve so been enjoying the beautiful and so meaningful and timely way in which these soul contracts have come into being. I can’t say enough how I honor these people and the courage they have. I also am awed by the soul connections we share and I’m totally devoted to them with all of my heart.
I feel that my listening to guidance was aligned perfectly with these contracts with them, but that I am to revisit full commitment to honoring now one I have with myself and the collective with full devotion toward what I’ve put into motion.
This in part due to my need to put all that I have into my current project and something else soon entering my life.
I also will only make myself available to teach Reiki this Summer to the people I have already spoken to offering this to if they desire.
That means I’m back to no services offered, but all in order to be able to offer more later from the depths of my heart.
I’ll still be creating Magick Crystal Wands, as that feels in alignment with immediate soul-satisfaction and desire to create something tangible with my hands that balances the writing I’m involved with – it’s all about balance to me! But these are the only two things I’ll be engaged with.
I can’t thank everyone enough for your understanding. It’s truly meaningful to me how supportive you’ve been and how much love you’ve shared during my own transformational journey I’ve chosen to vulnerably be open about in order to support you into your own authentic choices.
Also, beginning this Sunday I will likely not be blogging for a while, or in very limited, short blogs because I will be focused on completing the first draft of my book before heading off to Australia on May 10th. I’ll feel that energy out, but my sense is I’ll need to withdraw there for the time-being.
I need to conserve my inspiration and creative writing for that project. So during that time I’ll only be sharing via Instagram/Facebook if you happen to be on those platforms, since they are quick ways to still stay in touch and share some daily inspiration and beauty with you, while creating that healthy balance for me as well.
Here’s to peaceful transformation for us all!
I love you!
I just wanted to share a few updates on current offerings and also to reiterate and clarify other things in relation to past services, as I get so many emails and questions that it seems a general message is in order. I’ll likely share a post that goes into life path shifts and recreating anew at a later date, as a ton of big nudges keep coming in on that, but for now just touching on some things people have been messaging about in terms of what exactly I AM available for these days.
So, as mentioned, I’ve had some pretty big life shifts and that has included a need to change the course of things in pretty major ways, focusing my time and energy differently, releasing some things all together, and basically recreating my life and creative output in a more “now” aligned resonance.
That said, I’ve stopped offering many of the things I used to, took breaks from some, and morphed others. But from messages I’ve been receiving, I think there was confusion that when I came back to offering the Intuitive Energy Guidance sessions and was open to teaching maybe a couple Reiki workshops this summer, that that entailed I was back in action with everything.
This is NOT the case. And although I’ve been inconclusive about when, if ever, I might return to some things, I feel I should be more definitive now even though I don’t ever like to say “never.”
I’ve continued to receive requests for tattoo designing support and although I’ve been turning them away stating it’s not something I am able to offer at this time, my gut tells me it is not something I will be returning to – period.
So there may come a point, when I have time, where I’ll remove things altogether on my website that has referred to these services, as I just simply am not in that mode anymore and would like to avoid any further confusion.
That said, you are still able to purchase my book, Spiritual Skin, on Amazon and that will always be available.
I’m grateful people have been so understanding, as well as have been very grateful for the interest, and while it’s been a good test of my boundaries and honoring my needs, I also may simply create a clear cut there.
There are many creative services or products I also have moved away from offering and yet my creative output has continually shifted into new forms. So while I don’t offer custom paintings, nor am I creating any original pieces right now, I have created new channels like with the Magick Stones (which I’ve stopped at this time and was part of the Magick Bus journey of energy moving through) and Magick Crystal Wands (the current and only focus), which will continually evolve and have moved one into the other, but are movements of creative energy I embrace flowing through in the version that fits what is “now” aligned.
I was at one time making crystal jewelry, selling a lot of crystals, creating Crystal Illuminations paintings, had an Etsy shop, created crystal elixirs, and was available to procure crystals for people. This has all taken a pause as well and although now and then I’ve been able to offer crystals ready to move on, this is no longer the case, as I have no more to offer.
I get a lot of messages and emails on people looking for particular crystals and similar ones I’ve offered before, but I can’t be of service with this either. Nor can I continue to create some of the custom pieces in other genres I used to since I’ve shifted focus.
Some things at a later date, may morph back in a new way, but none of this is currently available. So if you find an old post on any of these things, it simply is just that…an old post and not a current offering.
Update on the wands…I WILL have more in the future and do have some custom pieces I’ll be working on so this seems to be the current creative output I’m being guided to channel alongside my other work. I also do still have one of the last group of wands remaining, if interested. It’s been an interesting one in terms of its energy and power, as it’s had a few people vying for it then shifting gears, one that had moved forward with acquiring and then things changed mid-course again and so it sill remains. I love observing the process. So, if interested, the Neptune & Nymph Wand is still available.
In terms of the Intuitive Energy Guidance sessions, I’m fully booked with March and April now and unavailable May, so the next availability will be June. This may only be offered through the end of this year or through end of Summer, so if it has been of interest you may want to let me know, as again I’m only taking 2 clients per 5 weeks on a first-come-first-serve basis.
I no longer offer Reiki sessions, in-person or long-distance, except to my Guidance clients.
And in terms of Reiki training, I’ve opened this to teaching 2-3 workshops this Summer while I’m in Lake Tahoe. I’m in process of figuring out scheduling with this and contacting people who had inquired, so if you’re interested you can message me with your availability too so we can get those going and on the calendar.
And really that’s it, as the rest of my time I’m focused on my writing and cultivation of other new creations/offerings, plus a long term vision I’ve received that will take my energy and time to manifest.
So short recap.
What I’m NOT offering:
- sacred tattoo design consultations/creations
- logo designs
- Reiki sessions: in-person or long distance
- custom art
- ongoing crystal sales
- Magick Stones
- original art other than what is still available via my website: Original Art by Tania Marie – mostly I just have the paintings in the Universal ARKitecture gallery available & the In Lak’ech originals, but no more prints
- Crystal Illuminations paintings, crystal elixirs, and crystal jewelry
- ongoing workshops – Reiki, Crystal, etc.
What I AM offering:
- Intuitive Energy Guidance sessions for 2 clients per 5 weeks (exception of April with 3 and custom created sessions with already established clients) – to be determined for how much longer
- limited Reiki workshops this summer in Lake Tahoe
- Magick Crystal Wands
I hope that helps clarify things and I apologize for long explanations, but I get so many messages, I’m hoping to help make things clear and avoid confusions.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to two upcoming trips beginning with Sedona on April 5th and then to Australia in May for 19 days that both feel significant for the next phase of things. I’ve reconfigured my time in Australia so that I can utilize the first part of May to complete my current project. I feel things amping up and the need to be riding that stream of energy.
Again, thank you to everyone for the understanding, the continual loving support, and reflections of interest. It really means a lot to me, more than I can express in words. I am so grateful to be able to have the ability to connect with you all in the varying ways that we do, to witness your own shifts, and to be a part of the changes we are all creating together.
And I am SO excited about all the new things being created by us all and can’t wait to share what is coming through just as soon as it’s ready to be revealed.
In love and creative magick always!
I don’t get involved in the energetic dynamics at work in the world right now like others do, remaining mostly silent in words but loud in frequency, and that might be judged by some, thought to be a misuse of my freedoms, completely denied as valid to how I go about things, or simply that I’m crazy and ignorant. To all of that I smile and hold my position even stronger. I don’t attempt to hold answers, nor to judge others for their own positions. And mostly I find myself working with energy when others engage their conversations, or may present questions to invite curiosity, which engages the creative powers and activates something deeper and latent within.
Today two interesting posts popped up that I feel guided to combine some pieces of the shares and my comments on, in case anyone has interest in “some” of my perspective or feels similar and unsure of themselves, their own choices’ value, or feel alone out there in the Middle and Void.
I’ll begin with an interesting observation that I’ve linked in direct manifestation to things, which I’ve been seeing since yesterday morning. We live way high up at the top of the mountain and so the perspective here offers amazing reflections.
I shared on Facebook yesterday and this morning about a very interesting veil of clouds that has been here since yesterday morning and feels symbolically reflective for sure. I shared about it along with photos of the clouds and the volcanic sunset before they arrived, and the surreal almost neon sky here last evening.
This is what I shared this morning in reflection:
“Wow, incredibly the cloud veil that began yesterday morning covering all of Lake Tahoe and the lower basin area still remains this morning without a budge. The only shift was mid-day yesterday when it started to rise up a bit creating what looked like a perfect wall or screen…then it went back down. and all through the night last night, once the stars came out, the cloud veil was lit up without any light source, as if like star glow and cosmic phosphorescence was emanating from it. So mysterious! Being way up here to witness it is amazing and creates like two worlds. It’s like the lake is incubating and morphing below that veil. Also interesting that the deep waters are below the cloud coverage, as if asking one to look beyond all illusions and reach courageously into one’s depths to the core. Truly nothing is as it seems…it’s not what you see on the surface. Let’s find the strength and vulnerability to go within and understand the truth of what we’re being presented that gives rise to so much immediate reaction. Let’s find our center so we can respond from a place of greater understanding and peace.”
Interestingly Laura posted a blog article today mentioning “looking beyond the veil” and about taking “conscious empowered action” toward the world you want to create.
My comment there not only addresses the current scene people are focused on right now, but truly is intended as a bigger picture life perspective of working with opposites, triggers, and creating the new, as I never just focus on one detail taking place, but a bigger picture symbolism for things playing out.
Some of my comment included this below, along with sharing about the cloud veil I already posted above:
“Nearly everyone I know I’ve found to be divided and taking sides, others confused how to hold their energy that don’t want to be on either side and that see beyond both, and those taking stands with others to be a part of things…but what I haven’t seen is consistency with those desires for change carried through in life aside from moments of joining the group or getting triggered, as in fueling the energy in really effective ways or anyone out there providing constructive ideas and channels for people to fuel their rage and passions so it doesn’t turn into Civil War or worse…all very interesting and for myself, I am compelled to keep consistently firm in my position no matter what people think of me or not understanding the steps I’m taking because they don’t look like their idea of taking a stand.”
“I agree, that veil of clouds is highly symbolic. I also this morning kept hearing “The Cloud of Unknowing,” which is the title of a Medieval Christian mystic text. Wikipedia summarizes the main gist this way:
“The underlying message of this work suggests that the way to know God is to abandon consideration of God’s particular activities and attributes, and be courageous enough to surrender one’s mind and ego to the realm of ‘unknowing,’ at which point one may begin to glimpse the nature of God.”
Given all the external focus on division among different religions and again, the provocations to war from BOTH sides, this seems like a wise time to step back, get quiet, clear the field of any and all interference, and reconnect with Spirit. When in doubt, choose peace. At least until you’re sure something is worth fighting for…”
And earlier this morning I received notification that someone liked a comment of mine synchronously “out of the blue” from an old post of Laura’s from 2014 titled Integration Lifetimes and the Splitting of the Worlds – one of my favorites of hers and SO reflective and synchronous with all of this.
Not only does it describe how we all have different paths and focuses in this life, but shares how each way we are called to “rise to action” will also be different. Not to mention the subject matter of separation and integration being so timely for now as well.
I didn’t know until she posted that blog that she’d used one of my own ways of working with the Shadow as one example. And so for those of you who think there is just one way, or may not understand how I am taking my own very deliberate and challenging path with this, here’s what she shared, which includes some perspectives beyond just my own experience that you may find valuable for these times:
“Healing for those on an Integration Lifetime is not so much about removal, as it is about conscious Creation. Sometimes Creation involves a carving away — like sculpting — but that carving away does not become an end in itself. Rather, the carving away exists as a step, perhaps many, many steps, in service to a greater vision, inspiration and spontaneous engagement with the material. Carving reveals Shadows, as greater depth encourages the play of light and dark, but the whole of Creation eventually reveals itself as far more than the sum of its individual cuts. An artist adds something with each taking away, infusing the Creation with life force energy until that Creation can hold its own.
I believe the third option of which Inelia speaks has begun to hint at its arrival, because enough people on Integration Lifetimes have come far enough on their individual journeys to open space for something beyond the Void. Old tugs to the familiar remain, but continued Shadow Work coupled with active, conscious Creation in both the imagination and in tangible ways — will continue to gestate this new option until the birthing time.
Different people engage Shadows in different ways. My dear friend and sweet faery twin, Tania Marie prefers not to work as an activist exposing wrongs or fighting for rights, but she’s got a body full of extremely potent, powerful, deliberate, beautiful and what some people have even called “scary” tattoos. She’s got a dragon, snakes, and jaguars, occult symbols, Moon goddesses, and ancient languages all in black, black, black ink all over her body. That’s a lot of intensity, money and pain, which she wears in indelible ink as an unapologetic reclamation of the power, Shadow projections, and often corrupted goodness attached to all these things. Embodying the Shadow literally on her body allows Tania to live her life with innocence and childlike wonder while still honoring the vastness and power of her being. Her book, Spiritual Skin, helps others to explore a similar path.
Tattoos are widely popular right now, but not for everyone. Some people invoke and integrate their Shadows by embracing whatever taboos have most defined their lives. Others move through various Archetypes and roles. Others attract life threatening illness or injury, which makes them reconcile with their own mortality. Since we all die at some point, this last version of Shadow Work opens itself to everyone — even those not on a full Integration Lifetime. Inelia has noted that “Gaia (Earth/Terra) has actively been pushing for a physical separation that is done through time, three generations, and is trauma free and gentle.” Those on Integration Lifetimes tend to feel deeply connected to Terra and tend to be the ones walking a fine line with awareness of this unsustainable civilization and way of life crumbling to its core (scary Shadow stuff!) and the joy, freedom and excitement of creating and welcoming the new.
As more and more Integration Lifetime folks move through their own process of dis-integration and learning to accept the Void, the human frequency on this planet continues to rise and offer encouragement for entirely new ways of being. We can reclaim the best of the old and the new, while consciously finding ways to integrate the pain, darkness and fear boiling to the surface of collective consensus reality. Energy adepts know that energy is energy, so we can mitigate the need for drastic physical events like pandemics and devastating tsunamis by exploring their energy signatures and finding different ways to rearrange and morph the energy. Kind of like radical feng shui!
Those who’ve already journeyed through the Void might find their skills and experiences increasingly welcomed as we redecorate and remodel reality, as the awakening masses begin to ask, “OK, we see it, but what the heck are we supposed to do with all this stuff????” The splitting of the worlds option gets rid of it, along with a whole lot of the material world. The integration option might involve some decluttering, but it doesn’t necessarily mean gutting. Think “re-purposing” or making art from junk, beauty from the discordant, healing from pain. The collective has not decided on a path yet, but individuals will each make their own choice. Collective consensus reality just means the tipping point of people with relatively aligned choices. If you suspect you’re on an Integration Lifetime and have been hammering the “positive” button, I’d simply encourage you to use this time delay to make sure you won’t be bored with your selection. Red pill, blue pill. Why take any pill? Or maybe you want a purple one. Maybe you want a world beyond pills.
Collectively, we’re in the Void right now, which means we wait. We can drive ourselves crazy with the waiting game, or we can use the extra linear time to explore and begin to create all sorts of worlds before we fully move into the new. You know what they say: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, but today’s a gift. That’s why they call it ‘the present.’”
Timely then and timely now….and that Void she speaks of is right in front of me as I share this, with this huge cloud veil still covering the entire lower Tahoe basin area from where I sit.
Part of my response to Laura’s post, which someone liked today, included this:
“I know this is so true for me, as I have no desire to, or can’t engage in, many of the things that I see others around me getting so much out of in their own lives. I know that it is perfect for them, but it doesn’t feel aligned with or right for me and leaves me hugely unsatisfied and gaining nothing from it. That’s why people are surprised to learn that I don’t engage in certain things they would “think” I should be, based on ideas of what people have about a certain way of being. I’ve carved out a way and things that work for me and I’m not afraid to be different since I know its for the highest good to follow my intuition.
Remember, you are not someone else. So choose accordingly to your vibrational frequency.”
For anyone who thinks that my choice of action is an easy out, cowardly, etc…..I thank you for your opinion and don’t wish upon you to go through what I do and have, but as with anything, until we’ve walked in someone’s footsteps and tried on their “skin” for a while, these remain as one perspective judgment, rather than truth.
I share this post because I receive A LOT of messages all the time from people/clients/friends wanting advice, are confused, feeling helpless, invalidated, doubting themselves, and wondering about how I handle things, how I address people if they ask me questions (which never happens except rarely with family and those closest to me), what I’m doing in my own life to work with the energies, and simply wanting to understand something that, for empaths especially, can be all too distressing and in some cases debilitating to feel in the middle.
You are not alone. You matter. Your choices are valuable and needed. Trust what’s in your heart. Your position and consistent action in your life of embodying it, IS creating change.
With Love and Creative Magick
I sent out this newsletter yesterday and thought the message in it might be of interest to share here as well, given the energetic dynamics and field of experience collectively.
Here is the link:
Although we moved out of our house in Orange County and into the Magick Bus in early October of last year and did a couple of small trips, we didn’t officially begin the grand adventure until one year ago to this very day. As I look back on this past year, although doesn’t seem like a very long time, I’m in awe of how much energy we moved and how transformed my entire life – I am – is since then because of that choice. It feels like lifetimes of experiences took place, and in actuality they did, not to mention a full, literal rebirthing.
It is one of the best and most profoundly shifting choices made in my life and completely supported hitting the much needed reset button for my path.
When I reflect upon my life, I can easily pinpoint the pivotal choices and time periods that changed everything in big ways, and this is definitely one of them…in some ways, may be the game-changer in my world finally bringing me to the place I always believed and never lost hope of all the years of my life since a child, knowing it wasn’t until my later years -forties – that I’d truly return to myself and receive the benefit of all the committed work I focused on in a life of growing up very fast.
Only now to return to the innocence of the inner child that I devoted myself to preserving and freeing fully, which took on a lifetime of maturing quickly and inviting in lifetimes of integrating and traveling through the darkness.
It’s empowering to reflect back and recognize the growth and change you have made. To see how it all makes sense even though at the time it made none at all.
I recently have gifted myself many symbolic and tangible things in celebration and have fully embraced self nurturing like never before. I have felt it to be like a birthday celebration every day, which seeing my birthday 2/26…2:26…226 showing up constantly over the last year has reiterated, as a reflective message from All That Is resetting the button cosmically.
And yesterday, when I saw 2:26 again, after all that has taken place these last few days and weeks, it felt not only like a personal renewal, but one collectively, as so much is shifting for us all, even if you can’t see it yet.
We are even currently experiencing that very wet and cold winter I, and others, had felt would be coming…with flowing abundance of water for many areas that have been in need here in the West.
Tons of rain and snow fall abound and it is like a huge cleansing, refresh, reminder, and like healing tears asking of us to remember these watery depths that are needed as a part of the journey and in knowing your wholeness and to have reverence for the journey.
Great creative potential and fertility comes in the embrace of feeling and emotion, in being willing to walk hand-in-hand with our shadow, welcoming change, and being flexible and mutable with our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions so we can fluidly align with harmonic resonance.
Where ever you are right now, allow yourself to be more gentle and loving with all of it….to flow, to free yourself a little bit more, be more fluid, reward and enjoy life, reflect on those things knocking at your heart, love where you are, find ways to not judge or compare, and embrace the energy before you. Things are not always what they seem.
I know for myself that I have a ton of creative projects to manifest, and yet embracing the flow of energy has been most conducive to how these will not only come to be, what has been needed to keep shaping them, but is aligning with the ebbs and flows of collective energy…the pulling back of the rubber band at the right moment so that when released they shoot with great force, momentum, and focus….
For example, I’m now on my third revision of my book so far and I haven’t even finished it yet. I love how when you honor stepping away, there’s always a reason that presents itself…and each time it’s continued to infuse a whole new layer to the inspiration channeling through – reflective of more that I open up to as well.
I am not even in editing mode, I’m just being guided to rework the layers of myself, experiences, energies, collective at large into a renewed version of what that is in the now channeling through without frustration or questioning.
It’s become much more than originally started as and I love that too, as I’ve never had any attachment whatsoever to what was coming through or how it had to be.
I never even knew/know the story until it channels through.
I never edit, just write…I never judge it….just express it.
These revisions remind me of how I paint with layers over layers and the person viewing the painting will never know what is infused literally under the surface of the painting image they see, but they will feel it.
It’s also like music and sound channeling, where layers get harmonized together.
And with each expression of art, there is intention, energy, experience, feeling….that weaves into those layers too.
I’ve been in my joy with this and that is the only thing that matters. And I couldn’t be in that place of experience without everything I’ve experienced, the processes, the learning, the growth, and the choices made and honored.
I encourage everyone to find that passion you can just be you with and flow passionately with, without any attachments, judgment, boundaries, and goals except simply to express yourself and what you can’t not share because it is your breath of life.
And don’t lose hope, as the miracles often happen just when you thought there was nothing left to hope for.
I remember just before the Magick Bus came into our lives, I experienced a year of feeling and knowing the endings in all ways very profoundly and that completion translated as a choice in how I wanted to reset…and at the time without vision of what I see now, it felt like a cosmic return was in order. So I allowed myself to go to the depths of those feelings, mourning, explorations in depth, and found one answer in it all that could mean renewal here on Earth.
It meant letting go of everything I’ve known and been, taking a leap of faith, and being willing to face a new adventure of discovery from a completely fresh slate no longer tied to all that was (this life and beyond).
I was willing to take that leap and chance, to see what I could conjure up in the process of relaxing into creating a new relationship with nature and the nature of me.
And that choice led to here with a plethora of inspiration and knowing there are still yet some things I feel passionately compelled to bring forth while here. And they mirror my heart alone.
So I’ve risen to the occasion of creative power to not only create anything I want, but to recreate a new reality of experience at large. Something available to us all.
“Like water, be gentle and strong. Be gentle enough to follow the natural paths of the earth, and strong enough to rise up and reshape the world.” ~Brenda Peterson
I’m noticing how so many conscious souls are finding themselves in this “recreating self” mode of visioning and embodying new expressions that are most soulfully and heartfully aligned with essence. And this seems to involve a huge rush of expansive possibilities excitingly knocking on the door. So many potentials, so many doors….the question being which to open, and in direct connection, which to close? There are so many potentials to choose from and the beauty is, you can create any reality you want, as the energetic environment is fertile for sure! The key is to make that first choice to take a step forward, which is usually the largest hurdle and may be the one causing the most challenge or fear.
Sure, there is timing, alignment, and flow to be mindful of and definitely honoring that fluidity of energy right now that can shift at the drop of a gnome’s hat, so everything is really about an organic process that reveals itself moment to moment by being in natural harmony with all things.
But there is also that fear hurdle – fear of making the wrong choice, fear of the new, fear of stepping into your most authentic footprints yet, fear of not succeeding, fear of vulnerability in bringing forth the most truest heart parts of yourself into the world in big ways, fear of letting go of what has been comfortable and you’ve become expert at, fear of saying no to opportunities that “seem” different or play on your “service mentality” making you think “what if” this is an exception you can still be involved in, fear of not knowing if what you’re choosing is the end result you want…..and the list goes on.
I know for myself in terms of fears this also equates to my boundaries. I’ve always been one to give and want to help, not had any boundaries as a Pisces, and have spent lifetimes in service roles, and yet now I’m rewriting the idea of “to serve” into something more like “showing up authentically and living from the highest frequency of my soul signature” which automatically is for the highest good of all concerned without having to differentiate and without giving up personal power by placing one, if even by definition, in a subservient or martyr role.
I say “no” to everything that doesn’t feel to feed my creative freedom and joy right now. I stay consistent with that no matter how much something pulls on my heart strings, as I know that when I make the move forward into the new, the old will come at me in many forms and disguises simply because it’s the natural process of cleansing and bringing it up.
If I let one thing in, then the old gets in in slippery ways.
Has that brought up stuff for me? Of course!
Has it challenged me? Definitely!
Have I felt the fears of walking away from successful things? Sure!
But what I found is the more I consistently committed to saying “no” and honoring my boundaries in a truly compassionate way which accounts for true responsibility for the highest good of all concerned, the easier it has been and it becomes crystal clear what is the new and the old, what is the me now and the me then.
So I keep moving forward and the old’s power diminishes, while the strong becomes fortified and my courage and conviction for what I know to be of truest expression to myself grows.
I’ve risked walking away from successful things and even likely having people think I’m crazy, but I’d rather be me than doing something that drains me or that appeases others ideas.
I keep saying no to so many requests from potential clients, because I know in my heart that my heart is not there anymore.
And like many of you, I’ve had that quandary of not knowing where to begin…having so many irons in the fire of ideas and potentials. But as I explored each of them, I discovered where the energy was most speaking to the now, which would likely lead and open doors to more, including the rest, and which currently was the most passion-fulfilling and heart connected in this moment of joyful expression and what was aligned with the collective new reality I’m helping to cocreate.
And so I started there, knowing there is no ONE end result, but it is all an unfolding process that I listen to the energy of in each moment.
I/we need to take a step and the rest unfolds from there….there isn’t a wrong choice. There’s just choice.
If you can’t figure out which speaks most to you, just try one and see if the energy flows, or if it gets blocked and then you’ll be led to the next step.
Or, you’ll discover yourself totally immersed in flow and passionate expression and know you’re in the perfect place for now.
But the Universe waits for you to make a choice and then aligns with you, and that choice will also be evident by the energetic environment and what seems to be showing up, flowing most easily, and likely has had signs thrown at you that you might be ignoring since you are waiting for how all of the things you see will come together now.
That is a process. It all IS happening now, but in a different way than you think.
So the first fear hurdle is making a choice. Once you do that, you will see how things flow and open and become easier to navigate, to feel/see more clearly, and understand.
And yes, I have my own personal vulnerabilities and fears of the new, or rather the self-doubts that creep up. But I’m happy to say that they are outweighed and outlived by my trust in the energy I feel that surpasses the doubts now.
So while they can come into my experience now and then, I am easily able to walk myself through them within minutes and understand them as indication of my willingness to see them and move through them, while also indicating a new found strength, courage, and commitment that is running the show now, rather than the doubts or insecurities.
It’s truly a beautiful process when we partner with ourselves and our subconscious and inner child. We can have honoring and compassionate conversations that result in pure alchemy.
So while in essence the new I’m focusing on is within the umbrella of the creative me I’ve always been expressing, they are new ventures and perhaps in some ways not exactly how people imagined I’d bring it forth. Although, once I do, my guess is that because it is so aligned with my essence, people will likely say, “oh yeah, of course that’s Tania!”.
And yet there is that risk of greater and greater vulnerability to put out there the more we dig deep into the well of our souls and bring it forth publicly.
That can be scary, but it is inevitably freeing and liberating, as you release the self-bondage that’s been heavily carried all these years, or perhaps lifetimes and draining your energy to truly shine and share with the world.
Do I know if what I will create will be what is known in the world as “successful” or equal what I’ve done that was “successful”?
No, but I know it is a success if I’m doing exactly what I know in my heart I’m wanting and needing to do and doing it simply for the sake of it’s being the breath of life for me and not spending and wasting time on trying to figure out how that equates in any other way, as to me that takes care of itself when we are authentically being.
That is MY idea of success….when I’m living a life from my heart and every day is a joy to be expressing myself and experiencing my version of reality.
So that brings us to mourning.
When we’re creating the new we may go through a process of mourning the old….whether an old way of life, a relationship, any kind of experience of loss, a job, a home, or a part of ourselves.
This is natural and goes along with the fear process, as when we mourn, we may also have fears brought up that go hand-in-hand with it of thinking we will never again experience something like that again or that it never gets any better, that you’ll never experience what you want, etc.
And the truth is, you won’t experience something like that again.
But you’ll experience something better, which you can’t imagine right now from the place of your current, natural mourning, cleansing, and releasing of the old process.
Everything is relative to where we are currently.
The new is only possible to experience in the essence of our imagination, but will be even better than what you envision.
I always intend things to be “this or something better,” as I never limit myself to what I am only capable of seeing/thinking/imagining at the moment, as possibilities are unlimited.
But yes, we will mourn and that is something to honor for sure, while having gratitude for all that we’ve experienced and have been blessed with whether seen as gifts or not – because they all are and have helped us get to this point – and we will go through that human heart process of temporary growing pains for sure.
Let it flow….and it will flow through.
I have this going on in very literal ways with processing my own mourning of Cosmo, not long after mourning Joy – my two rabbit best friends and wise teachers who recently transitioned within four months of each other.
And they, to me, represent the passage of an old era of me, and mourning so much more than the beautiful physical companionship we shared.
Joy especially ended a time period of my life since she came into my life over 7 years ago when so much was shifting for me.
And Cosmo ended another huge shift in my life that came to closure with the new self-discovery journey and the Magick Bus explorative adventure to move energy into the new.
And yet they both knew exactly when to leave this Earth plane, as I’m embarking on the new and they’ve ingrained the knowing of my soul path most deeply to prepare for what’s coming. They know how best to support me from the other realms for magickal assistance and channeling.
With each passing of my beloved soul companions – Nestor, Joy, Cosmo and Gaia the tortoise, I’ve always thought I’d never have that connection again, and yet each time I did and it deepened.
Yes, I’ve been challenged in my heart, even though I know with all my heart and soul they are with me so strongly and not gone at all. I’ve had a lot of mourning with Cosmo especially due to our daily intimate connecting on a constant basis that was very physical as well as spiritual.
But the sadness is true alchemy for me, as I channel it all in greater depth of creative self expression and even deeper knowing of myself and my path and this shows up in what I bring through me, as it does for us all.
It is through the beauty of mourning, which reminds me of Gaelic “keening” that one’s exquisite soul expression comes to graceful surface. Keening is a deep soulful, eerily beautiful lamenting song that is expressed by women in Ireland and Scotland at funerals and in honor of the “dead”.
And so, I keen a song of honor of all that was and is, as a beautiful and divine tapestry that brings us to the culmination of all that IS in the now.
Through acknowledgment and embrace of our fears, through the natural process of grieving, through loving ourselves and honoring what is in our hearts, through courageous steps, we make leaps into the new.
You do not have to see the end result.
You do not have to know how this story will unfold.
You simply need to get writing it.
As they say, a writer writes…..If you want the new to take form, then get writing it, one word, paragraph, and page at a time.
It gets easier as you let the “stuff” gently glide off your shoulders. You don’t need to carry it with you forward. If you hold onto the weight, your wings can’t open and take to flight.
I’d like to see you fly. I’d like to see us all fly.
And so the best way I can do that is to open my own wings.
Such a great update from Lee that so resonates with my own observations. Yes, magick is breaking through with the alchemy of these intense times if we embrace the opportunity for transmutation. I’ve been observing that all of what has exploded to the surface is unfortunately, but never too late, the process we chose since nothing else seemed to get our attention. Everything is and will rise to the surface blatantly in our faces that has either been hidden from us, or that we’ve been hiding from.
The volcano was inevitably going to fully erupt, as denial, turning a blind eye, abuse of all that is sacred, and blame was not going to last forever.
Now is the time to let in the light, by walking with full conscious awareness through the shadow.
As Lee asks:
How are you going to play the game differently?
Just a little reminder that I am NOT offering my sacred tattoo design services at this time, nor any other services except for Personal Sound Channelings and the Magick Stones I create when inspired.
I have continued receiving requests and the current influx, especially with designs, prompted sharing that again. I’m grateful and honored by the interest, but need to honor the energy wave dictating my current choice of path right now. I feel that is the highest choice for not only myself, but as an example of living consistently by the values I hold close to heart.
This made me think about how we may be taught to follow what is showing up in our lives and to flow with that, however, we are in times where the choice is solely based on your personal joy and heart inspiration and we create that flow as much as it shows up. This is a simultaneous alignment. So just because something shows up easily for you doesn’t necessarily mean that it is the current path for you to follow.
Sink into what the energy of your essence is speaking to you in subtle ways. These things may just be showing up because you are changing and shifting, so they are reflections of how strongly your new path is starting to root, as the other spectrum will show up as a marker of where you’ve moved from and integrated.
It might tug at the parts of you that it feels familiar to and very tempting, but again, letting go to allow for something greater and more currently you-aligned, might just be another perspective to be curious about.
Just because something is easy and comfortable doesn’t make it growth worthy nor necessarily your greatest joy potential, at least I know for myself that evolution for me means stretching outside of that comfort and ease into a state of grace with new challenges that hold immense harmony and joy I will never know if I don’t let go.
If something wants to cycle back around again into our lives, it will, but with full surrender of it we will be able to experience it in a completely new and highly inspired/infused way taking you not to the same place on the spiral with it, but at a different level of the spiral of life, meeting with it from a new perspective.
This is the view from the bedroom and what I’ve been waking up to the last few mornings.
I’m constantly in gratitude for the changing environment I find myself in and especially for Nature’s beauty in all of Her splendor that has nurtured a stronger sense of embodiment within my experience.
It’s like a dream each day, but one made into reality and this ever-changing “dreamy” scene that greets me in the morning reminds me of where I’ve come from and how much has changed because of my willingness to believe, dream big, and not allow anything to tell me that I can’t do something.
Well, they can tell me, but I know that’s not my story and that I carry the power within me to create my own version of reality, even if that were to potentially place me on a different, but parallel plane immersed in my own visionary ideals.
Change continues to rapidly strike like lightning in my life, and I know the same is true for others.
Some big change is on the horizon and unfolding in the next few months here for me/us and for now I’m keeping it within our experience, so as to really marinate in the energy and allow it to organically evolve from within the new reality birthing. But I will share it soon.
For now, I am just really sinking into how much I find the process of change to be a gentle and oh-so-enjoyable one.
I used to go through difficulties, or more prolonged periods of integrative time with change. But mostly I found that that challenge wasn’t really about how I processed change, but how I used to experience the challenge of utilizing my energy to make others okay with my changes, rather than just fully enjoying them and using that energy to fuel the new showing up.
I no longer do that. I no longer worry and I don’t have guilt around the fact that change comes easy for me.
I also find that we aren’t supposed to “see” what is ahead, but only given the ability to “know” of the moment and to trust what is in the heart and that any choice made from here will always be the most harmonious and supported one for the highest good of all concerned.
I am trusting whole-heartedly in what I know in my heart I feel to choose and I see magick unfold, reiterate, and support that constantly when I do.
I recently had shared this with a dear friend that every moment is shifting into a new one based on creative and heart-joy choice alone and that life is a constant labyrinth in creation. You choose to go one direction and the whole labyrinth shifts in that moment….passages close, paths move, new passages open…and it’s all actually quite phenomenal and fun when you get out of your head and sink into your essence.
I have noticed that the more I shift, the more I notice dynamics deepening in terms of a very pronounced canyon between experiences people are having.
This in part is simply the showing up of change truly taking form, as the stronger you are within your understanding and experience of life, you call up, see, or hear of anything and everything different to that lighting up big time on the other spectrum.
The stronger new things get, the more pronounced old paradigms are fighting for survival.
This isn’t indication of you’re having done something wrong, that the world is about to explode, or that you aren’t in the new…it is simply the way of energy working itself out within that labyrinth.
So continue moving in the flow of the change you’re creating, with love, compassion, and understanding for where you’ve come from and what is part of the whole for embracing into the alchemy of your new reality for empowerment.
Change is abound with yesterday being our last day in Helena, Montana, as today we make our way to Kalispell where we’ll call a spot on the scenic Flathead River our home for the next full week. From there we’ll be only 30 mins from the West Entrance of Glacier National Park and only 20 mins from beautiful Whitefish – all three areas of which we’ll be exploring over the course of our time between Sunday to Sunday. I’m so excited!
The drive has been gorgeous on our way to Kalispell and once again, my theory (at least in terms of all six of the states we have journeyed through and that we’ve seen as potentials for our future homestead) has been proven that the northern ends of the states are energetically and physically most aligned, invigorating, and beautiful in terms of our personal needs. It really is incredible to see how that unfolds each time and now we find Northern Montana to also be quite resonant in these ways, so I’m looking forward to our destination to see what awaits us.
This coming week and the following one more week after at the East Entrance of Glacier will end our time in Montana. Then we are off to Canada for nearly 4 months.
We originally had booked time in Missoula and Great Falls, Montana for this coming week, but the energy shifted and we’re being redirected for the highest good (some of which I have some inklings about alongside the fact it will also be 10 or so degrees cooler, which helps this Faery much since I don’t fair well and melt in humid heat that’s been building in some of the previous areas).
So we cancelled our reservations and made a new one – there was only one spot open at the lovely rv park we found in Kalispell (totally meant to be).
I feel Joy is part of that shift of plans along with Uni (as I lovingly refer to the Universe as) and as always we follow where we are guided.
I visited Montana only once before, very briefly, 20 years ago. It was actually my very first trip on my own, which kick-started my solo travels there forth. I decided to take a train ride up the West Coast from Los Angeles to the first stop outside of Glacier National Park.
My goal was to see Glacier, a place my brother had told me about from his many solo travels, and to just have some integrative and reflective time on my own during a transitory time in my life then and on my spiritual path.
So I booked an Amtrak ticket from LA to the first stop at the end of Glacier, after going through the whole park. I can’t remember the city, but I do remember it was just one tiny little building in the middle of no where.
I remember being the only one getting off the train and others looking on as I got off, as if confused as to why, since everyone else was going on.
Needless to say, I did, and just before the train station keeper was closing up. He was of the Blackfeet Indian Tribe, as many Blackfeet live in this area, and when he learned I had about 8 hours of waiting until I would take the next train back, he invited me to his home to be with his family, share a meal, and get a city tour. They were very excited to have a visitor.
It was an interesting experience for me on my first journey alone. One I won’t forget. And it reiterated the strong resonance and past life connections I had in my many Native Indian lifetimes I’d already connected dots with at this point in my life.
And now, I return 20 years later to a place I’d energetically anchored for the future.
There is a sense of full circle experience and something awaiting me here. It may also come to be Joy’s resting place, as I listen to where her ashes would be of highest good to spread.
Our time in Montana so far has been very supportive in these times of transition and expansion. I’m grateful for the beauty, inspiration, healing integration, and deepening into inner peace received here.
It’s enabled me to flow gracefully with change and has been part of the alchemy of inner harmony with it all.
Even little Cosmo has been doing incredibly, which makes mom very happy. I’ve been concerned about how he would take losing Joy, and while I know he misses her snuggly presence, he is also embracing the forward movement of life along with mom.
And the enchanted stuffed rabbit that Joy brought to life and has infused with her energy, is Cosmo’s constant partner now providing warmth, comfort, and a little extra magick to match the magick he embodies and imparts.
Here he is loving, snuggling, and cleaning his rabbit friend…the rabbit that reminds me of The Velveteen Rabbit who was brought to life by love in its most pure and innocent energy.
I feel that he and I are meant to have this time together on our own, as there is alchemy for us to create now and I anticipate more of his magick and gifts will be revealed in the days to come.
I’ve had alone time with each of my bunnies and my tortoise, Gaia, but now it’s Cosmo and me time.
And I have to say that it’s increased the already deep bond he and I share, taking our connection to a whole other level. We can read each other’s minds, our time together has become even more precious (if you can believe that), and he’s just really flourishing and looking/feeling very vibrant.
All that even after his recent minor surgery, which came a week after Joy’s transition.
I am always having to make intuitive decisions that take into account the highest good and support my little ones’ soul path and wishes, so things like any kind of surgery, minor or not, where they have to go under anesthesia at their age, is a challenging one.
But after running blood and xrays, we had the physical support of knowing he was strong and could handle it, so I made the call on these preventative procedures so as not to run into similar challenges like Joy and Nestor had, especially not knowing when the next good rabbit doctor would be around. And to support a more fluid and pain free experience for the next leg of his journey.
Anyway, when I picked Cosmo up from his dental surgery he didn’t even look like he’d been under and he immediately got his eating and digestive system right on track, the antibiotic for his nose congestion is already working (still waiting on his eye meds to kick in more), and I’m now adding vet tech to my repertoire, as I’m administering needle injections of Adequan to support his joints and arthritis.
That’s a scary thing, but Cosmo is helping mom to do something I don’t like even receiving myself, let alone giving it (a needle that is).
But both Joy’s doctor and this one highly recommended these injections and I’ve heard from others of the amazing results. So I’m looking forward to seeing him having more mobility and less pain, as the injections help with inflammation and more fluidity.
He won’t walk, but he might be scooting around much more vibrantly and have that peace mom so wants and intends for her little ones, rather than simply accepting pain as his experience.
I am grateful to be able to make the journey for him much more harmonious.
And I am grateful that my own journey is so harmoniously flowing, despite, or I think, because of the challenges I’ve embraced with love and the complete understanding on an embodiment level of the beauty and invaluable gifts in it all.
I’ve truly learned, not just in theory, but in actualization, about flowing with the natural rhythms and cycles of consciousness moving through me and my life.
And so, when change shows up, I don’t fight it, ignore it, or try to manipulate it otherwise. I simply engage my creative faculties and inner guidance to harness and support the highest good, which takes into account personal and non-personal always.
Cosmo has been and continues to be a guiding force with this, as he incredibly embraces the natural flow of unfolding life experiences with such grace and ease.
I continually say that he has become one of my greatest teachers and is such an example for us all on so many levels. I am constantly in awe of this little rabbit, which such a large soul presence.
He is unassuming, humble, vibrant, and love filled in unlimited abundance to mirror his enlarged physical heart.
So when change shows up, like our travel trajectory shifting, physical transitions taking place, surprises in all shapes and forms, and new paths presenting themselves and inspiring my attention despite my current focuses, I am ALL IN.
And because of this, my life IS peace. And what I’ve been focused on for as long as I can remember, HAS become a return to natural harmony.