As the group of us here in Park City, Utah were talking over dinner last night, each of us celebrating what is considered a major, transitional birthday this year (two turning 50 and myself turning 40), were asked about what this year of transition felt to be for us. This actually hadn’t been the first time for me to ponder this, as it’s something I do quite regularly in terms of major transitions that happen in my life. However, this one has a different significance, not connected in the least to that old idea of a “mid-life crisis.”
As I approach (in less than a week) what some consider one of those milestones in life – turning 40 – I have to say that my concept of this takes on a new meaning than what many have thought it to be. For me, it is like a rebirth into the start of the most fulfilling part of this life experience that most directly reflects the collective me.
In general, I actually never think about my age anymore, at least in the sense of what mainstream thought is in regard to it. Age for me is just a marker of time , which in the grand scheme of things is non-existent, for there is only the eternal moment.
I feel as if my life is just beginning, not half over, or whatever it is people believe these days. Every year, month, day, hour, minute, and second always is opportunity to choose differently, consciously, and from love, and to start creating a whole new reality in direct reflection. And the cool thing is, since time does not exist, it never is too late or too early to do so.
However, very early on when I was a little girl, I had this feeling of wanting to speed up “time,” as I intuitively felt my life wouldn’t get rolling until after 40. All I remember wanting was to “grow up” fast and get over all this silliness and superficiality of conditioning that felt so foreign to me. An odd thought for a child so young. Where this came from, I’m not sure, other than an instinct. And at the time I had no concept of mid-life crises connected to a certain age. I just felt this sort of 40-mark would be a positive transition for me of release into expansive living – very different than the sort of dooms day, stressful, fear, or confused place I later learned people would see 40-60 as.
Little did I know at the time (but started to understand) that I was headed for an intense first part of my life, which would preceed this freeing expansiveness that I was seeing ahead.
Interestingly, as I began my personal growth path, studies, explorations, and spiritual evolution, confirmations of this belief through astrology, numerology, my intuitive feelings, and even the very few channeled readings I had from others all started reiterating the same – things would really blossom after 40 and I would experience the fruits of my labor, so to speak.
I didn’t like the feeling of having this constant “work hard” or “future” idea, as I knew how precious, important, and powerful the present moment was. So, while I longed to get through things, I also started to settle into embracing that whatever I was going through, no matter how seemingly challenging or oddly bizarre, was a perfect part of the equation.
There were times of see-sawing back and forth between exasperation and despair, to complete detachment and flow, while I learned the beauty of life in all of its extreme colors and how to create that balance that is all and nothing at once.
And colorful my life has been, but no matter how hard things have ever gotten, there was always this driving force of underlying trust and belief that saw me through. Where that kind of strength came from, I never really understood, other than my knowing there was a bigger picture unfolding of which was a commitment of heart and soul I had made.
Where some people may start to question and explore “the more” in life later, when hitting that shifting point for themselves, I came into life questioning, learning intensely and fast, and exploring, so that later would be my fun and freedom.
It’s not that we ever stop questioning and exploring, nor that intensity is necessary, but my soul had set a course for serious “get ‘er done” focus to begin with so I could move into being of service in the way my soul desired. I didn’t accept what I saw, felt and heard around me, as being the right thing for me. Not everyone is set up the way I was, but I was determined to recapture the essence of me and how that fit in to the bigger picture.
As I grew in years, I constantly found myself sharing with others the fact that I felt this “so called” mid-life crisis was happening for me early on…and that I was living my life in reverse to what was considered “normal.”
For the people who know me, you’re probably saying to yourself, “What’s new Tania?” lol! And yet, while this may be my “normal” to live and do things backwards, it hasn’t always been the common way for others until more recently.
I do a lot of things “backwards” including flip through and read magazines, articles, and books from back to front. With books I’ll then proceed to read front to back, but always start off skimming in reverse as an overview. My pendulum has always worked in reverse to many, as well, in that my yes’s are counter-clockwise and no’s are clock-wise. Despite what others are doing I go by my inner guidance and am drawn, like I was in Bimini, to follow my own compass. For instance, I swam counter-clockwise around The Three Sisters Rocks our group went snorkeling at rather than the clock-wise way the group did, which did prove personally rewarding and revealed the discovery of a shark for the group. When given the choice, I seem to many times be drawn to the reverse way than most people are.
Needless to say, I indeed have led a sort of reverse life, in the sense of how others have. Even to the degree that when I was younger, people always used to think I was older and now the reverse is true (something I believe many are starting to experience more and more of as well). I remember being 13-16 and out with my parents at restaurants and the waiters always bringing another wine or champagne glass for me, without asking, when my parents ordered a drink. And I recall not only the more mature essence that came through in photos and from my eyes – many remarking on it looking as if I’d been through so much, when I was still under 18. I also remember I had such a seriousness, maturity, and focus that was not usual for someone of my age. I learned very early on that I wanted nothing to do with certain things and stayed away from them, even if that meant forging on my own – which basically by the time I was a senior in high school, I was doing just that.
I wanted out of school and on to my life. I knew what was important and valuable and I was determined to bring more of that into my life, some way, some how. I was always reminded of playing by myself in my imaginative, yet very real, world when I was young and the joy I had in that realm.
Although I came in to this life from the onset, much as who I am now (which I believe many of us do) and continue to become, quite rapidly I “aged” in leaps and bounds, became someone foreign to myself, and squeezed a ton of experiences and growth into the first part of my life. While others were going off to 4+ years of college and starting careers and having families, I was re-discovering and unearthing “me” through a wide gammut of intense experiences. I dipped in and out of traditional to unconventional experiences in order to work out all the kinks.
I delved into my spiritual studies and growth while still in high school and continued deeply after quitting my first job. I was an achiever and really driven, so after getting through my schooling and the college thing (both as a 4.0 student)that didn’t feel right to me either (which is why I opted for a 2 year trade school I completed in 18 months), I went on into a job I hated, but excelled at, started feeling miserable and unhealthy, and came to what some might consider that mid-life crisis time where I saw at 22 that enough was enough.
There was more to life and to me. The American dream, my butt…what was Tania’s dream?
I then quit my job and having saved every penny I earned, while living still at home, I took off several years to go into self-study, self-nurturing, and taking care of my health and well-being. At one point, I physically moved to Sedona with my parents and walked away from every person I had ever known in my life to start anew (something I became proficient at). I also spent two years there in Sedona, doing nothing but personal growth and self-counseling on every single thing within my capability to access that I’d experienced up until that point in my life. I left the house only to walk in the nature near and around our home so that I could commune with the energy there.
This continued over the years with trial and error processes and choices that I kept implementing to learn about myself and work through as much as I possibly could, in order to integrate life times of unfinished business, as well as current life conditioning. This to include exploring many different job hats, traveling the world, continuing my personal growth and spiritual evolution, entering and ending marriages, integrating healing crises, working with a spiritual life coach, and continually working towards consistently mirroring my knowingness of myself and my beliefs – all along re-establishing, nurturing, and making safe, the little girl, who once was, to return.
I didn’t care how crazy I must appear to people around me, nor did I find what I was going through to be strange, except by other people’s definitions. Over time, things shifted and where once I used to feel lonely or in need of connection, I learned to replace that with feeling whole within and no longer “needing,” but instead capable of truly sharing.
The journey gets me closer and closer to the essence of me and helps to recapture the naturally visionary, imaginative, creative, healing, and intuitive little girl that I was who communicated with animals and the otherworlds and felt most at home in a reality of my own creation.
Likely, to some, my life will increasingly seem crazy, while to others, magickal…and yet to me, just more, well… me.
Enough said…fast forward to the present.
So while reaching 40 has significance in terms of knowing it is a point where I can really see and experience my life truly becoming all that I knew it could be and will continue to increase in depth and breadth to mirror the evolution I put into practice, it isn’t something I ever feared, worried about, or was scared of. I actually looked forward to “MY reality concept” of what I believed it to be and am now enjoying the integrative seed within me that is sprouting from a newly established foundation I have laid after destructing (like the Tower card in Tarot) the old one. (Remember, you can’t newly build anything of lasting quality on an old foundation)
I never feared death in my life, I never feared menopause, and I never once thought that anything would be taken away as I grew in age. In caring for myself from the inside out, shifting my beliefs and actions into alignment with authenticity, living a healthy life fostered by my joy and natural innateness, learning not to fear being different or leading an unconventional life doing “odd” things that could be judged harshly, I only kept and keep experiencing more and more magick.
For me, it has always been a process of growing younger, while I come back into the essence of me. Turning 40 was definitely not about a period of needing to figure out “what’s next?” after unauthentic realities crumble. Nor was it about starting from scratch into discovering myself now, or that my life was on a slow spiral downwards from here.
What it IS now is this joy of creating from my heart more freely and authentically and understanding I have the tools, know the process, and am present with the moment of now, not needing to worry about the past or the future – which is why I don’t have visions of the “what’s to come” anymore, or stay away from trying to see that – and live as if today is all there is.
I don’t, and never did, understand the concept of “retirement” because everything I am and that I do, is something I love and is natural to me (and if it isn’t I will move to where the moment guides my heart) and will be doing until I’ve decided my time here is fulfilled and the day comes that I no longer walk this Earth. And yet even then, I would still be involved in the same essence of what I am expressing and sharing now, but just in an eternal, non-physical form way.
I’ve never felt more alive, more myself, and more aligned. And I know it only continues to increase in depth and breadth, which is the real joy. Every day is such a surprise to discover it actually DOES get better and more exciting. We are shifting concepts of what used to be, to what now is, based on our unlimited creative potentials.
When times were bleak and intense, the only thing that brought me back into body was the return to trust in what has always resided in my heart, even if it gets clouded momentarily – love always wins.
Turning 40 means nothing to me in the sense of the number, as I feel simultaneously like the three year old me I once was, infused with this ancient me I have always been. 40, or any other number, is just a chronological way to calendar our Earthly years in this physical form and in this life, but by no means has any correlation to the timelessness of our souls. I have lived life times this life and consciously am accessing so much more than what appears. When you learn to recognize, honor, and tap into the vitality and purity, as well as expansiveness and wisdom you have available, you begin to transcend all limitations and definitions, and start to harness your luminous being self.
People are growing younger by the minute, the more they learn to live in the joy of their fullness and with value, honor, and love for the integration of soul and body they are. We are here to experience the spectrum of what life has to offer and infuse the love in our hearts into every infinite reality of our creation.
So, while age has no bearing, for me it is simply a celebration of my visions and commitments coming to fruition, experiencing my joys and service meld and integrate more deeply into harmony, and realizing the creative power I (we) have available to manifest unlimited beauty for the collective, as a Child of the Law of One.
As February 26th rolls around, I won’t be celebrating my turning 40 years old, but WILL be celebrating the return to innocence of feeling more myself than ever before, and knowing I’ll be more myself with each new beginning moment.
I may have another 40, 100, 200 years… or maybe even just 40 more days or minutes more in this body and in this particular life. In any case that it may be, I have no fear for how that unfolds, nor any attachments, as I know I am giving all of my heart to every moment, free of will and full of joy.
The little three year young, 40 year old, and eternal me are one and the same.
It seems very fitting that divine timing aligns this post with the last Full Moon of 2012 – a time to fully free yourself, trust and believe in the power of you, and allow more love to flow through you. As always, things unfold beautifully when we release expectations, attachments, and flow with the currents in and around us. This is one of the themes and messages received on our journey of the heart in Bimini.
I’ve been letting the energy from my recent experience sit with me for a few days since returning. Usually I will write my feelings and share experiences as soon as I return from a trip, but this one needed some time to settle while I awaited the sharings wanting to come through.
For those just finding this blog, or if you didn’t know or want a recap, I was recently facilitating a retreat in Bimini, Bahamas at the ARC – The Atlantis Rejuvenation Center – from 12/16 – 12/22/12, as we worked with the energies leading up to and on 12/21/12. The focus of our journey was to anchor in the energies for the birthing of a New Earth and simultaneously, a new individual and collective reality.
This was intended to be a powerful time of cosmic heart activation and empowerment for all that joined, and indeed I can say, without a doubt, that all of this, and more, was accomplished.
Regardless of the time I’ve allowed for integrating of this energy to come through in expression, I still find myself at a loss for words to share the magnitude of what was experienced. So please bare with me as I do my best to explain my feelings and perspectives about our time shared as a collective soul in the Atlantean energy of Bimini.
In short, this is a story of love. A journey began of 17 individual hearts and souls, culminating to a pivotal juncture of powerful vulnerability and creative self-expression at its finest, and concluding as a Universal pod of harmonious synergy in the grace of “we.”
Jenn Pipp, one of the amazingly gifted and loving souls in our group, captured the essence of this in her brilliant poetic words, only surpassed by her powerfully moving deliverance to our group on the last shared evening. Please take a moment to read Jenn’s heart sharings entitled, my answer: we, here:
The journey within transmuted into a divine reflection without, as each beautiful soul courageously emanated their essence in an illumination of co-created light. This merging of light became an expression of exquisite love, as the unique color of each soul blended into a beautiful masterpiece.
I will share some of the highlights of our journey (and moreso a summary of its essence), as they express through me, to help in conveying what I witnessed and felt experienced by our group and the meaning I feel it holds collectively. Likely, I will be sharing some individual highlights in future posts, as the photos from the group members start to come in.
For now, I have only my limited photos, and what I’ve received from my Joyful Earth Crystals partner, Allison Jacobson and Brian, to share, but I wanted to tell the story while it is fresh 🙂 Several of the group likely will also be sharing their stories and I will share those as they also come in.
I won’t be sharing every detail, but hopefully you’ll be able to feel the essence through what I do convey in a summary of words, photos and energy that paint a story – our story – and a piece of the collective’s story.
To begin, this was a trip I feel that has been in the making all of my current life and beyond – one of my soul missions come full circle. Much that I have been energetically working on, with, and towards came to a head over this momentous week. It was a soul integration experience at a very deep level, of which I had been preparing for and receiving activations and downloads for, up until embarking on the trip. My work takes place both in tangible and intangible ways, as I am always subtly and energetically facilitating things behind the scenes.
For me, the major shifts needed had occurred prior to this journey, so that while on this journey I could fully and solely be there in service to the beautiful souls that joined and hold that anchored space for them. It also was a full circle completion of many things I had previously worked on in my past times in Atlantis, carried forth in the energy of the new and now. And I, along with everyone else, am still integrating all of the transformational energy and activations that have taken place.
This retreat and gathering was the official initiation and “christening” so to speak for The ARC and we can’t think of a better way to have kick started things. Our group was a reassembling of souls from our time in Atlantis, come together to help reactivate a new Earth reality for the collective along with all others who gathered at various spots across the globe. The love-infusion and activation of The ARC will prove to be an opening for many to journey to this power spot to continue to facilitate the raising of vibrations that will continue our 5th Dimensional evolution and beyond.
I am heart and soul grateful for Jenny Yemaya’s courage to hold fast to her vision and 14-year dream of The ARC (despite all obstacles and challenges), as if not for her, we would not have had the opportunity of this experience and others would not be able to receive the kind of healing love and empowering activations that The ARC makes available in this power spot on the global grid.
Jenny and her team – Amanda Russcol, Charlie Coglianese, and Philip Russell – are some of the most loving and giving souls whose hard work, belief, sweat, tears and love have made The ARC a reality for the collective to experience on their individual journeys of healing empowerment. Thank you to each of you from my heart to yours. You are loved and blessed in many ways – I love you each for the exquisite fragrances you uniquely add to the aromatic essence of life.
Thank you Jenny for everything, including manifestation of The ARC, and for the unspoken things that go without saying. I honor, love, and respect you in every way and know that our connection is one that goes beyond a need to communicate, but right now it must be said that I see you and basically, you rock!
As I’ve shared before, I met Jenny back in 2009 on my first trip to Bimini. We knew upon our first communicating and seeing photos of each other that there was a deep recognition and connection. We knew we had worked together in Atlantis in the healing temples with a common heart focus as Children of the Law of One. This was further revealed and reiterated upon our physically meeting on a trip Jenny was facilitating then. Amanda happened to also be the raw chef on this trip and the amazing Philip had flown in one evening during my week there. So I had the chance to physically connect with the three of them then. Little did we know what would culminate 3 and a half years later on 12/21/12.
I had always felt I would return and had always felt it would be somehow with Jenny. I just didn’t know when, as all things reveal in divine timing. So when she announced the birthing of The ARC and that facilitators were welcome, I instantly heard and answered the call. Originally we had planned an August trip, but as the Universe works its magickal ways, The ARC was still in renovation and we had to postpone the trip. It was then that Jenny offered me any dates, including 12/21/12. You can imagine, given Jenny and my connection, and what you may know of the work I do and am drawn to, and things I write about, that it was a no-brainer. 🙂
A little of my history in summary: I’ve spent the good majority of this life on a spiritual path, coming in knowing my sense of mission and having a deep devotional service focus, regardless of whether I knew exactly how that might unfold specifically. I always never felt to be from here, but definitely of here and deeply heart-devoted as an Earth Keeper to help facilitate the raising of vibrations in the way I could, along with all other children of the Central Sun.
Like anyone, I went through my share of Earth-bound turbulence and heart and soul wrenching experiences, but each was a stepping stone to this integration life and to access the soul elements and unconditional love and compassion that would be needed. Responsibility, in one sense or another, has been something I’ve taken seriously all my life and have had to learn how to embrace the fears that come along with that. Fortunately, love can help see us through anything. Where there is fear, it is simply a longing to love. So the depth of love I felt for the Earth, all of her children, the collective and Cosmos, and very dear soul companions that found their supportive way to me, were the guiding forces to find the strength needed and to share that love within as well as without, in the darkest of hours and my times I easily could have slipped away.
Since young I have been traveling the world, moreso in the last 7 years, as part of my soul work to assist other light workers in preparing and supporting the Earth grids at the major power spots across the globe. Each of my journeys were always divinely guided and I would facilitate both personal and collective intensive healing work, much of which would also come through in the healing messages and energy of my paintings. Many times I would end up energetically co-faciliating on the group journeys I attended, as I had always felt I would facilitate more sacred journeys when the timing was aligned, as this was something that came heart and soul fully natural to me, which is to support others. I always had felt an importance to having visited areas before actually facilitating, so as to ensure I had integrated the energy and could fully just be there to assist others to do the same. I also had always received the message this was part of my work in this life to continue facilitating in one form or another.
So yes, I felt always that on 12/21/12 I would be called somewhere to assist the harmonic convergence towards the creation of a New Earth and new reality for all those that were ready to walk through the energetic doorways. The Universe made it clear to me that my place this time would be in the Atlantean vortex energy of Bimini, which holds access to the most powerful transmutational energies to move forward from fears and grief into a new and freeing experience of empowered healing love and magick of clear intention.
I knew that everyone around the globe would be exactly where their soul intended, to support the shifts taking place over the course of these star gateways we’ve been moving through and indeed for 12/21/12. So many came together or worked in solo or small groups globally, gathering at places that called their hearts, including some of the other vortex areas and power spots on the Earth grid.
I also knew that the perfect group would manifest for this journey, as it did. It was all about belief and trust and surrendering to the Universe, while giving of my heart for the highest good, whatever that may be.
And each soul that did gather with us had journeyed long and far in their own personal experiences to be there at this time, bringing to the table a multitude of amazing gifts and uniqueness that were perfect ingredients to the recipe of this group’s energy and perfect representational ambassadors for the collective.
The colored pasts and all the obstacles and challenges each had faced, are part of their beauty and preciousness. Layers were shed in more ways than each person can imagine, revealing the authenticity and value of what each has to offer. Powerful transformations took place and shifts will continue to unfold in enormous ways for everyone from the experience we shared.
I can’t express how I feel about those that were able to and did honor the heart message within to join our group, as they are beautiful beyond words. I also know that many amazingly gorgeous souls were unable to join us that wanted to, and to each of you I thank you for the supportive love you sent and for your presence in heart, as it was felt and received. Thank you for anchoring in the loving energy from where you did end up and for the roles you embraced. I know that you all were perfectly supported on the journey most supportive for your own and the collective’s needs. Thank you. I know also that you will join at a future date and place, to help assist in the continued raising of vibrations, when the perfect alignments unfold.
The stunning souls that courageously embraced their own calling on this journey with us in Bimini, were no short than awe-inspiring to me and I feel humbled, honored, and heart and soul grateful to each and every one of them for showing up, revealing their vulnerabilities, and joining in co-creative partnership with me and the collective.
It was humbling to us all to be able to hold the space and anchor in the energies at one of the most powerful energy vortex spots on the Earth grid – the Atlantix vortex area – on this auspicious date of 12/21/12. Working in union with all of the souls that gathered at each of the vortex areas across the globe, and that held the heart space from where ever they were called to be, was a truly “wow” moment for me and us.
I want to extend deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who connected collectively and shared your love and gifts with divine intention. Mission, as was perfectly aligned with the collective now readiness, accomplished.
Our journey was nothing like most of the group expected, and yet everything and more that they could have ever imagined desiring it to be. It was a divinely orchestrated soul symphony of perfection. And for me, I felt that everyone who joined was everything and more than I had intuited them to be and the more is what I desire that they all take away with them.
We were a group of 17 souls – myself, Jenny, Amanda, Charlie and Philip of the ARC, and 12 others – many of who came from California on the opposite coast, interestingly. 10 of us met up in Fort Lauderdale on the morning of the 16th with 3 joining us later in the afternoon over at The ARC on Bimini.
New and old friends alike, it was a seamless reconnection of souls that had journeyed timelessly together over the course of Cosmic and Earth ages and will continue to do so long after.
Our days were full – full of love and lots of other good Earthly and Cosmic stuff! – consisting of yoga or beach time, breakfast, sessions of Reiki teaching, attunements, breathwork meditation, and group healings, lunch, boat trips out with the dolphins, snorkeling, communing, and receiving downloads and integration, island time, gatherings for talks, sharing, tarot, crystals, reading, being, etc. before dinner, dinner, and more fun and connecting time. All of which was accompanied by the most amazing company, hosts, and energy, messages of wisdom and insightful revelations, sharing each other’s gifts, out of this world raw vegan healthy gourmet meals, supportive energy, new adventures and experiences, harnessing of individual power, hysterical laughs, musical celebrations, games, sharing, tears, joy, fun, light and LOVE!
We were open to where the journey would lead and flowed with what the Universe had in store. We received surprises around each corner and changes with plans that all revealed in perfection because we so willingly embraced what was in the highest good. How amazing it was to be with such a giving, open, and accepting group that honored each other in every way, respected individual thoughts and desires, and found the light and joy in everything that unfolded. Nothing to fear, nothing to hide, no drama…just pure unconditional love.
Upon arriving the first day everyone was just beaming. It was so beautiful to see The ARC for the first time, having heard and known about all the work that had gone into its birthing and the profound shifts it had gone through in receiving a complete make over from its original decrepit state. What a transformation! And so emanating of the love from the hands who helped mold it into creation.
Everyone could feel the powerful energy of Bimini and its surrounding waters from the moment of arrival, as this area is one of the most prominent vortexes on the Earth grid. Some sensitives were already feeling the energy shifts upon first arrival into Fort Lauderdale even, and continued to experience both subtle and dramatic energies as the week unfolded.
For myself, the months leading up to this journey seemed to be my preparation, including my recent trip to Grenada. I was immersed in work, energetic downloads, and shifts during this time. Up until the moment of arriving, I had been pretty energetically drained from so much all at once, and didn’t know how I would get through the week, but my heart guided me on. And once I arrived on the island I forgot being tired. In fact, I wasn’t, despite getting only 2-3 hours sleep most nights while there. I just kept feeling so much energy and vibrancy that would keep me up most of the night and then deeply sleep for a couple of hours. So much so that my room companions heard much going on from my side of the room during those deep sleeps. 🙂 I was definitely journeying and working night and day, as I gathered we all were. It wasn’t until end of the week that I had a day of being more within and in a needed restful state, but it seemed to be more connected to a place of being able to just be and allow all that had taken place to fully integrate.
My energy continues high-vibed and it feels that I’ve tapped into that endless energy source that is available when you access your heart source. I know several others are experiencing similar upon their return.
And much love and heart sourcing was had on this trip, both in giving and receiving. We were gifted the first day with a remarkable appearance of the beautiful Atlantic spotted dolphins just outside the harbor. The outlying waters of Bimini are home to the Atlantic spotted dolphins and the bottlenose dolphins, of which we were honored to connect with both on this trip. Apparently finding the dolphins in this area that we did is a very fortuitous and rare place to find them, but we instantly knew they had been anxiously awaiting our visit and came to honor and greet us with their loving joy.
This first group was a pod of 13 and they stayed with us for an extended time – enough for three groups to get in the water and play. And play we did. They were so engaging and happy, circling around us, diving down with those in the group who would descend with them and clicking their beautiful whistle-like sound resonance with exuberance as they communicated.
To say we were grateful for this communing they willingly engaged in, is an understatement. We felt honored and I was so pleased that they had greeted the group with a bang from the start. One of the memorable and touching moments I remember from this, aside from it being many people’s first time swimming with the wild dolphins and seeing everyone just light up from the experience, was hearing from one of the group, Steve Smith of Ahimsa Life Coaching, whose life long dream was to swim with the dolphins, emerging from the water with such a beaming child-like glow on his face and saying it was so beautiful and amazing he wanted to cry.
Little did we know this would be the only time we would swim with them on this journey, as everything is subject to flowing with the natural currents of life and the bigger Universal picture.
At first we had been saddened that the 3 who joined us later had not been party to this experience, but we later came to learn that the 3 were the only ones in the group who had swam with dolphins in Hawaii very recently. It felt to be that everyone was given the experience most perfectly aligned and needed and that the work with the dolphins comes in cosmic ways that unfolds beyond logic. This seemed to be one of the themes that was the underlying current for the group – that of perfection in all that is and in releasing expectations so that we could accept the beauty of more than what those attachments limit us to receive.
We each had all been given our needed experiences in the water with the dolphins that had prepared us energetically for this trip and the work that lied ahead.
When we all were united that evening, upon our return, we were all greeted again by the most spectacular sunset of the week, on this first day. Gorgeousness it was! And we found that the 3 that had arrived later had enjoyed a beautiful day at the beach and had received their own bliss. They had not only shared the beautiful sunset, but had received their own dolphin greeting with an amazing dolphin cloud message in the sky. We were a cohesive group connected from start to finish and still remain as so.
Another gift for me was in experiencing my artwork at The ARC. It was so wonderful to see my painting, As Above, So Below (which has its own unique story of how it came to be here and the energy behind it), hanging in the sitting room alongside artist, Greg Taylor’s work. It added to the energy of our experience and times we spent in conversations and playing games in this room overlooking the beautiful aqua waters before and after meals and activities. It is so amazing to see how the painting shifts in color and light in this beautiful space. I felt much gratitude and honor to have my art in this loving energy and to share it with everyone there in our communal space for the week.
Our first evening all together – the 17 of us – was beautifully shared over dinner and conversation, with more connecting afterwards. It was also our first group sharing on how we all came to be on this journey and where we came from to get here. From the start the space was safe and loving and so many a tear was shed and laughter had by all. For me, this was truly another very memorable moment to hear everyone’s unique stories and to receive the beautiful words and gratitude shared that touched my heart deeply to hear.
For me, the gift in all of this was to see the amazing transformations that each person went through and to be witness to their authenticity and power revealing itself. It was like watching butterflies emerge from their cocoons in magnificent ways. And to be able to support each soul into empowerment on this journey and to be of service in any way I could that would help that loving process was my joyful role I embraced fully. So it was times like these when I would receive the magnitude of energy behind what this trip meant for each person and to be humbled by the beautiful words shared on my behalf, that was more gift than a person could want in a life time.
A perfect first day indeed.
After our first dinner I gifted everyone the first two of four gifts I had intended to give. Each person received a personally programmed and intuitively chosen Atlantean energy Amazonite stone and a small print of my painting, Visions of Atlantis. I wanted everyone to have the stones for the week to be able to work with and to absorb the energies of Bimini to take home with them. And the print captures the energy of the dolphins, beautiful Bimini waters and the Atlantis vortex, so that each person could take a piece of the magickal energy with them as visual remembrance to meditate with and journey within when they needed.
Later I supported everyone with Reiki healing attunements for whatever intents they had and also gave everyone an Emerald Bridge temporary tattoo to wear on the trip – this design represents the Heart Chakra energy that is the foundation and core of everything that guides me and what I feel is the most important energy there is – a way to help activate the Cosmic Heart!
It was a joy to see the smiles these gifts brought and so fun to see all of us wearing our temporary tattoos. Jenny, Jenn, and I sported ours on our third eye. (later I added them to the palms of my hands – a place I always wanted to maybe one day tattoo). Some placed them on wrists and hands, while others directly on their Heart Chakras. Fun and power in one!
The days that followed were each uniquely much the same and grew in magnitude as layers of the onions were peeled more and more and new and stronger foundations were built in place of them to grow upon. And all of this was fueled not just by everyone’s energy and uniqueness they brought to the table, or the amazing supportive energy that was all around us constantly and consistently from the other worlds, but literally was fueled by the amazingly exquisite love and vibrant healthiness that was infused into each and every savory raw vegan work-of-art meal that Amanda – chef extraordinaire (also known as Fig Leaf Betty), with the help of Charlie – sharing the chef genius hat, prepared for us.
Thank you dearly for supporting our bodies along with our hearts, minds and souls, Amanda and Charlie! It is sooo important to nourish and nurture our physical beingness, as it is the precious vehicle that carries us through life and makes all that we work towards possible. You are valued greatly and thank you for valuing each of us!
The multi-talented Amanda also gifted us with her gentle and loving yoga teaching and powerful sound healing. She assisted me with my first headstand – yay!!! – showing me how simple it could be, as she has a knack for helping to bring that out in you, and a wonderful partner class that was powerfully connective and great to attend after having been away from yoga for months since I had broken my foot twice this year.
I know everyone was loving Amanda’s yoga classes that catered to the needs and desires of everyone there, of which I unfortunately missed many of due to preparation for my Reiki classes. But thank you for providing this way to physically integrate the energy from our journey.
And thank you, also, Amanda for our special sound healing evening on the 20th that you facilitated, in preparation for the 21st. It was a true gift for all of us, gifted to all of us by Allison and her husband Chris. Amanda did an hour long sound healing for the entire group, along with individual sound healing sessions, late after dinner and pre to 12/21/12 ringing in at midnight. Thank you dearly to all three of you for making this opportunity available to everyone and really adding another layer to the powerfully transformative integration of new.
Did I mention that the group consisted of AMAZING souls?! Well, I’m going to mention it again anyway. 🙂 Every day was infused with joy because of those that brought their own joy to the table through their loving and open hearts. We had a midst us the honor of being graced by Shamans, Reiki Master Teachers, Wise Sages, Medicine Men and Women, Seers, Healers, Artists, Musicians, Writers, Visionaries, Faeries, Elves, Shape Shifters, Magicians, Alchemists, Yogis and Yoginis, Animal Communicators, Telepathists, Teachers, Life and Nutrition Coaches, High Priests and Priestesses, Goddesses and Gods alike …. and then some!
In essence, leaders and ambassadors, each in their own right. (At least that is what I saw, including and beyond what may not have been so obvious to each) 😉 All in good timing, things unfold.
And each day, more of these gifts revealed themselves as we embarked on the energy presented to us each moment. Our first day was celebrated with our reconnection, in this life, and then unraveled into deepening the meaning of those connections further. Our Reiki teaching and sessions began on day 2 and continued for the next three days, which was a very beautiful experience to support and see the sparks in each person’s eyes light up with the anticipation and excitement of what this experience would bring to their life and the lives of all those they would touch.
Our teaching sessions, led by myself, were before lunch and took us through both Reiki 1 and Reiki 2 training. We got time not only to practice during class, but then were able to share in a huge group healing session we did on 12/21/12. The entire group did about a 15 minute hands-on healing for each person, all together at once, over our crystal grids a few of us created the night before for our sound healing session.
It was so amazing to me to be on a journey where every single person (all 17) had been trained to some level of Reiki – at least Reiki 2, which is what I was assisting on this retreat, but we also had several Reiki Master Teachers present as well. I was honored to be able to provide initiation attunements to 12 of the 17 and to offer healing attunements, as one of my gifts, to those that had come all this way to journey with us.
What a powerful experience to be in the energy of the Atlantean vortex, the dolphins, 12/21/12, all of the gifted souls, and to be able to give and receive Reiki. I felt the Reiki training and initiations would also be supportive in sending out energy globally, with our learning the Distant Healing Symbol, which is why I felt it important to get through to Level 2 on this retreat and felt it important as a tool to take home to continue to administer healing support in service ways. (This has presented itself already, as one of our members currently has an outpatient surgery we are all supporting right now, which is a beautiful thing to be able to do as a group regardless of where we are.)
Being that this trip felt to be an initiation of sorts for the new, not only the Earth was evolving into, but that each of these individuals was stepping into in their lives, this seemed fitting to offer such a sacred process to everyone. It also seemed perfect in assisting each to feel more empowered in their healing support towards everything we put intentions towards. Just beyond words, wow!
I am grateful to have been able to provide this gift to others at this important time and grateful for my Reiki Master Teacher and precious soul sister, Laura Bruno, for believing in me and for agreeing to show up at the perfect timing in both of our lives.
For me, empowering others is the greatest gift of love I receive. It is my soul mission and heart commitment.
After our lunches, we would get ourselves ocean-ready and together, load up the two golf carts, and make our way to our boat for the week, where we were in good hands with Captain Al. Al knew just where to journey in order to find our dolphin brothers and sisters, knowing the waters and their realm very intimately.
Of our five boat days, we had the one amazing swim with the dolphins and then two other days of finding and communing with them from the boat, or in at least one of those cases, I’d say our dolphin friend came to find us! Regardless of whether or not you actually swim with the dolphins, which always varies depending on their desires that we honor, as well as how things align cosmically, you always feel their energy, can receive their messages, and take part in sacred communing with them. Powerful in every way, no matter which way!
In the one case, we as a group had received both through our animal communicator on board and some of our intuitive receiving, that the dolphins were very busy preparing for 12/21/12, as well as working hard alongside the work we were doing to assist with things globally. A dolphin messenger was sent out to us to acknowledge and share their gratitude and assure us they were sending their love and energy and were honored to be working with us. This dolphin seemed to search us out and kept coming at our boat and playing with us, as it communicated.
It was this day that several things happened while connecting with the dolphin. Strange things simultaneously took place, including all but 2 of my photos of the dolphin disappearing (one of which was an image of a feminine face profile with markings that showed up out in the waters with the dolphin ), another person’s camera falling into the ocean with all her photos of this dolphin gone (who knows what they would have revealed), and another person’s photos showing lovely aura glows around some of our feet facing the water and dolphin. This appearance in the water with the one dolphin that came to message us we felt to be the manifestation of the Goddess of the Ocean and some wondered if it was one of our Cosmic Beings showing up. In either case, definitely an extraordinary manifestation, of which weren’t in scarcity.
We consistently kept getting amazing things showing up on all of our photos that mirrored what was taking place in the parallel dimensions not seen always by the naked eye. Some of which I’m sharing in this blog, of the most incredible ones caught by myself and Allison. Looking forward to seeing the rest of the group’s photos though, to see what else was captured that we hadn’t seen. These felt to us to be confirmations of what was going on on deep levels, in acknowledgment of the work we were doing and what was taking place globally, as well as cosmically at this potent time period.
These images captured in photos reiterated what many of us felt and was a way to share it with the world, as we know that mere sharing isn’t always accepted in belief. So a little manifestation that can’t so easily be dismissed, was a good call on our etheric and cosmic friends part. 🙂
Needless to say, our time around the dolphins was magickal in every way, as it always is. Our cetacean friends embody an essence of, and beyond, this Earthly experience and to connect with them is a precious gift.
The other two days of boat time we had amazing snorkeling swims over the Atlantis Stones of The Bimini Road and at The Three Sisters Rocks.
Our days spent snorkeling and just taking in the energy of the Bimini aqua waters was fantastic as well. Hours spent on the water were great times for our group to rest, share, integrate, heal, and receive activations from the vortex energy that surrounds and embodies this entire region, and from beyond. We came upon stingrays and a multitude of colorful tropical fish, as well as flying fish, sea turtle, and received a greeting from a Nurse shark, which I discovered at The Three Sisters Rocks when myself and joyous Melissa decided to go counter-clockwise to the group.
We stayed with the shark until the rest of the group arrived, as we were so excited for everyone to also connect with this amazing being. Allison got a good shot of it for us with her awesome underwater camera, which is where the underwater photos you see of the ocean creatures (both human and not) and Bimini Road come from.
Thank you to Allison for capturing these and many of the great story-telling photos on our journey.
Although we enjoyed healthy fruit snacks on the boat (that followed amazing breakfasts and lunches), by the end of the day you can imagine we were all looking forward to returning home after fulfilling experiences, to be surprised by and take in yet another of Amanda’s amazing creations of the day, concluded by fabulous desserts that mirrored the deliciousness of her dinners. Disappointment did not have a welcome mat on this trip.
One of the nights, about mid-week we played a very special game called The Compliment Game, which had been created on an intimate gathering at The ARC held in September by the group then that Jenny had with her. Jenny shared this game with the 17 of us on this trip and we had a blast. It’s a very positive and fun game that keeps your brain working, your heart open, and the positive energy and love a-flowin’! We all very much enjoyed it and were grateful to Chris for his keeping records throughout the game to assist! A few of our group took this game to their family over the holidays with very positive and fun results. It’s definitely destined to be a hit! And until then, if you visit The ARC you’ll be sure to get a chance to play it.
Once we concluded our Reiki training, our last days were filled with meditations, group healings, fun, and a powerful breathwork meditation, facilitated by Jenny – The Quantum Light Breath – a transformational breathing process with Jeru Kabbal – which you can order online. We worked with The Original Version CD. The link here is one I found where this version is available. There may be more.
This was a very powerfully transformative experience we all did as a group. The meditation lasts an hour, which when done as a group is done blind folded in order to allow each person the sacred, safe and private space to fully experience and flow with what comes up during the breath work journey within. This took place on the 20th, day before 12/21 and was profound for everyone. This was the third time I had experienced this meditation (the first 2 times were on my last Bimini trip with Jenny) and each time has always been deeply moving and allowing of shifts to take place. The more you can embrace the journey, the more transformative it can be.
For myself, being quite visual and feeling, I received beautiful visions that were moving and confirming. I also went through a release of tears of exquisite joy, acknowledgement, cleansing and love. It took me on what was first a more organic and physical journey, then journeying into the emotions, and then going into the beyond and etheric realms. It is here in the Cosmos that I was greeted by a council of Cosmic beings that felt to be ambassadors of the council. I was traveling through doorway after doorway and flying through the beautiful Cosmos. I kept seeing many different forms of Extraterrestrial and Ascended Masters, that felt to be of high rankings and from all over the Universe. I could have stayed there and in some ways was at point of floating away. And kept seeing a close up of a large eye that was dark with golden highlights. Very large and beautiful, looking at and through me, feeling to be a Universal Consciousness. It came to me in message that they had all come to honor the work accomplished, a mission complete, and were paying respects. I can’t really go into it further than this, but it was most humbling, beautiful and full of tremendous love. I remember that when the first doorway appeared that I traveled through, it was just seconds before Jeru was speaking of a doorway to walk through. 🙂 Everyone had different and powerful experiences, of which some shared and it was yet another way we went deeper into our group connecting and global work – as when one heals or shifts, it affects the whole like the ripples of water.
This evening was also the group sound healing and then afterward, 6 of us ventured to our beach across the way, which holds powerful Holy Grail and Chalice energy. We felt we had all our lives to sleep, so it was important we take advantage of tuning in to the energies of 12/21/12, as it was just rolling in. We actually got to the beach just after 12:21 midnight on the 21st and stayed there until 1:30am in silent receiving and giving.
It is here that I received a message channeled from beyond. It seemed not only in answer to many of the things we had discussed, but held the simplistic code for life. Yes the keys and answers truly are the complex made simple.
The message is:
Seek not what is in your heart, for all things will reveal when you come to know the kingdom within.
Another interesting and unexpected unfolding that took place, was the quick approach of an oncoming cold front that altered how our 12/21/12 was spent.
Captain Al had received warning that the cold front was approaching, which would render our going out on the water impossible and treacherous at the least. This put a monkey wrench in our plans, but we soon realized that all was in divine order.
Our original plan was that half of our group would venture to the land vortex while the other half would venture to the water vortex (a two hour boat ride each way from the island by small and speedier boat). Al said that chances were extremely slim, but he’d let us know by that evening. We received the word of a no-go, but by then we had all embraced this change. Some of us had tuned in to receive the messages of this sudden shift, from calm and beautiful waters and sunny warm days, to what by the next day by the looks of how we all bundled up and dressed, was like a huge winter storm was in our midst. We were quite the sight on a tropical island all bundled in our winter gear!
Jenny shared that she hasn’t been able to get back to the vortex more than the first time she went over 14 years ago. The energy there is so powerful that it can only be accessed at very aligned times or else everything will get in the way of it being possible. It either opens or it stays closed.
What a couple of us received was that this sudden overnight change was a collective reflection and Universally supportive shift. The energy that this vortex opens and makes available, had to be protected at this time, as the collective was not quite yet ready to receive these powerful energies. Nothing we do is a personal process alone. Everything is connected and we have to work for the collective highest good and bigger picture. Divine timing is crucial and at times like these where something much bigger than perhaps many can even imagine, is taking place, there is no room for error. We have learned from the past and mistakes made in Atlantis, not to repeat this again. And the energy of recent, collectively, was not as ideally aligned in an empowered place to benefit from, rather than have margin for error and abuse by the opening of this powerful energy. So we will continue to support the shifts into higher vibrations so as to fully benefit from the energies in a most productive, higher good way. That is about all I can get into, but this message I had received was confirmed when I returned, through a channeling I was gifted and by a couple of people’s energetic confirmations that I was communicating this with on our trip when we got the news.
Needless to say, we still engaged in a very powerful 12/21/12 together. So rather than us anchoring in water and land, we all stayed on land and connected with the vortex energy that is present and experienced on the island itself, since it is in the grid line of the vortex and the energy is an extension of it. No matter where you are, this powerful energy can be felt on the island of Bimini and activations are received. And receive and send out we did, from this power spot during the entire week, and on 12/21/12. Our photos kept reminding us directly of the work done, downloads received, support around us, and the presence of powerful energies.
Despite some of us getting to bed late due to our beach meditative time as 12/21 rolled in, we all woke at the crack of dawn for a powerful Winter Solstice sunrise meditation led by Amanda on the morning of 12/21/12. We lined all of our chairs at the front of The ARC looking out across the water where the sun rises. Then we drew in and anchored down and through our hearts connecting through to the Sun, Earth, Cosmos, within and without, as we spread healing energy and love globally. Another beautiful and awe-inspiring moment.
The rest of the day we engaged in the group Reiki healings on each individual – half done in the day time and the remainder in the evening after dinner – and enjoyed some play time. We did have to see one of our new family members off on this day – Steve – whom I mentioned earlier with the beautiful dolphin experience he had. We were all sad to have him go, but he needed to get to his family for celebrations. We were grateful for his presence, and how far he had come to be with us, and that we got to share the morning Solstice meditation with him.
So we all loaded up on the golf carts and saw him off with great sadness, yet also joy for we know we will all reunite and are grateful for the beautiful connections and new pod formed. Then the rest of us had a play day! Well deserved and very fitting after quite an intensive week and in honor of everything we had done to prepare for this trip and this day in general.
We explored a couple of local shops (I was so touched by 3 of our group surprising me with a beautiful butterfly conch shell sculpture as a Christmas gift – thank you again Brian, Allison and Chris!), visited The Dolphin House (built by local author/historian, Ashley Saunders in Alicetown all made of tile mosaics and is the most unique and artistic structure on Bimini), walked the beach (where the huge storm waves were rolling in layer after treacherous layer – yes, Al was right not to venture in the waters!), searched for conch shells on the beach at the North end of the island of the land vortex area, and then a musical celebration at dinner performed by US!
Yes, we had a whistle fest playing Christmas carols and Happy Birthday on our whistles from our Christmas crackers that Jenny had gotten us. What a celebration and hilarious fun we had – gold crowns on each of our heads and all! We even prepared our Happy Birthday whistle song for one of our lovely group members, Kate, who had taken some time for herself, since this day – 12/21/12 – was her birthday! (We actually celebrated two birthdays during this week – Kate’s and Melissa’s. Melissa’s was the 15th and the start of our week and Kate’s ended the week) So the night of 12/21/12, amidst hysteria, we got ready to surprise her at breakfast the next morning with our whistle serenade! Yes, we did video/record it. It hasn’t surfaced yet though to share!
We were also blessed by our very own Bimini-chic Christmas tree, compliments of Jenny and Philip. Jenny had the vision and laid out the instructions and Philip implemented and perfectly created the manifestation of her vision. So we got the chance to enjoy a little pre-holiday celebration before hitting the holidays back home. And what a gorgeous little tree it was all decorated in white lights, beaded seahorses and sparkly puffer fish that danced in the wind. I enjoyed helping Jenny decorate with the beautiful ornaments she had picked up before heading over to Bimini and then later in the week we each added our personal ornaments – a shell we found on the beach that we wanted to represent us, with an intention we placed inside of it written on paper to send out to the Universe, then placed on the tree. Jenn even got the idea for us to decorate one special large conch with our personal symbols on it in gold marker, and so we did and that also went with the tree. A very special Christmas that will remain in our hearts, as will the entire experience, and each other.
On our last evening Jenn also read us the poem I began this post with, my answer: we, which moved us all to tears and then gifted us a long rainbow thread we stringed around the table, held by each of us. She had us cut between each person and then we each were left with about a foot long thread of unique color – perfectly mirroring our essence synchronously – that we then had tied around our wrists to connect us in this circle of love always. We then had each person tie a knot in the strings that hung from them so as to bind a piece of our hearts together. Jenn was always full of meaningful and powerful Shaman rituals and ideas.
Yes, many priceless moments and gifts of heart received on this journey. More than can possibly be expressed here.
When the rest of our group parted ways on 12/22, it was a bitter sweet closure to a perfect week that was written in the stars. So much growth, love, empowerment and transformation was experienced, and this will continue to integrate and unfold as each individual of the group settles into life back home and embarks on a new journey and reality imbued with the energy received.
It definitely is a soul shock to enter back into “civilization” as we know it when you leave an experience and place of timelessness like this, much like leaving one dimensional realm and world reality to enter into another. So the transition is one to gently honor and nurture so as to integrate back into balance.
Sacred journeys like this are powerful evolutionary experiences uniquely relative to the individuals and group that come together. The potent energy of a sacred area, coupled with intention, support, and open hearts, can have profound effects on your life and in direct reflection, on the collective since everything is connected.
So much takes place on deep and etheric levels that aren’t fully comprehended by the mind, nor do they have to be. Yet, the proof is in the pudding (LOL! – side joke for the group), as they say. You won’t fully grasp the magnitude of growth received, as in many ways the shifts seem subtle (as is the new way to move through things more easily now) and you come to realize how you’ve surpassed huge obstacles so gracefully, simply resulting in you just living it. This makes it challenging to even see how far you’ve come since it all takes place so much more naturally. Yet, if you stop for a moment and review your life, even just weeks or months earlier, you’ll find much to honor in yourself for how much you have grown and changed.
As a facilitator, it is easier for me to observe the transformational shifts that take place, as my focus is on subtly supporting this process energetically and otherwise. It is amazing to experience the emergence of butterflies at all different stages of birthing.
There is also always a sense of family that is created on these journeys, or a realization of how so not alone you are in your experiences, as you come to hear others stories mirroring your own. These gatherings always bring the perfect synergy that is a synchronous reflection of your needs.
And of course there is the opportunity to stretch yourself beyond the limitations you thought you had and to adventure out into new and enlivening experiences into the manifestation of your visions you had only until now just dreamed.
Mirroring the beauty that each person brought to the experience and further blossomed into by end of the journey, was the magickal and exquisite beauty of everything around us – the crystal clear, warm aqua waters, the private pixie dusted sand beaches (a rock and shell collector’s dream), stunning ocean beings that dance through the waters (tropical fish, sting rays, sea turtles and of course our masterful dolphin friends), awe-inspiring sunsets and sunrises that are an ethereal display suited for the Gods and Goddesses, crystal clear starry and moon filled nights that beckon you into the Cosmos and help you realize your roots and balance with Earth, and gently powerful energy that consumes you nurturingly like a swaddled baby and helps you realize there is no limit to who you are and what you can do.
This could be the neverending story, but at least for sake of this post and for not drawing things out more than I already have, I will put closure to this memorandum. The experience will remain in our hearts eternally and the energy each brought back will continue to touch all those we come in contact with in beautifully emanating ways, as love is the most infectious energy you can share.
To all who were part of this journey, I wish you continuation of the love and empowerment you feel and look forward to hearing about how your life and endeavors unfold. Deepest gratitude, honor, respect and love to each of you for your courage and beauty.
And to all who may one day join on future journeys, I look forward to experiencing the beauty you bring forth and to witness the unfolding of wings, as the flight of butterflies continues. More sacred retreat and workshop announcements to come.
Where ever you go, there you will be. The journey of the heart always leads back to you.
In Love and Magick,