Posted by Tania Marie's Blog
Another recent theme that has been circling in the ethers and percolating to share briefly about is that of confusion, frustration, and/or the desire to want to know what’s ahead, what you’re here to do, and to have a clear idea of, in order to move forward.
The first common error in this, of which I, too, have fallen captive to in the past, is the “idea” that you can’t do anything unless you can see the end of the road.
Why does this create a challenge? Well, first of all consciousness and life is an eternal evolutionary experience. If you think you need to see and know the end result before you can do ANY-thing, the truth of the matter is you will be sitting in frustration all of your life.
However, frustration perhaps is just the path you need to fuel an unfolding journey of growth, discovery, and learning that will inevitably keep you on the evolutionary road nonetheless. 🙂
This is likely a topic I could expound upon immensely, but for sake of this post I’ll keep it relatively simple.
As mentioned, this theme has been circulating from the collective around me and being that I have been “right there” in the same frustrated place, and because today a heartfelt prompting from someone very close to me had me voicing this experience to share in support, I felt once again it was a prompting that timing was “now” to just share a few words on this.
It was synchronicity like clock-work again that this theme came up today. I love the demonstration of our unity-connection and how one person’s journey is always collectively tied to a bigger picture process and experience.
Here is some of what I shared today, paraphrased for this post:
At one time or another I feel that we all go through the fluctuating increase and decrease in our confidence, see-sawing between feeling very “connected to” then feeling so lost, experiencing the flow and then the discombobulation, or moving between bliss and despair, as we move along our paths. All of this is not weird or means you have some strange mental challenge that no one else has and can’t ever be cured. It is simply part of your process of integration, which will be like that pendulum swinging back and forth to each side of duality, while also at times coming to know the experience of harmony at center.
Life to me seems to be a reminder of how we are all things and can, when we choose, learn to recapture a more sustained experience of that centered balance, while also learning how to move in and out of experiences with greater ease because we come to learn our personal processes and can then do so consciously.
We ALL have innate gifts. Even if we are doing things in a similar vein to others, we are still bringing to the table something unique that can only channel through us. So in that way, it is an individual talent that cannot be duplicated and is equally as valuable. Remembering the times when you have felt most empowered, joyous, in the flow, vibrant, and enlivened, and having gratitude for these confirmations help you to stay in that energy and create more of it. Remember the mirroring of what others have shared about you and what they received from the gift of you. These things are so only because they came through YOU. No other person can mimic what you have to offer. And if they try, see it as a compliment and not a competition.
This calls to mind the post I shared, Celebrate Yourself, Celebrate Each Other – Lifting Humanity to the Next Level of Experience and how important the message and theme of that channeling feels still to be, especially with things I’ve been hearing and feeling swirling around.
I think sometimes we fear moving forward because we can’t see what we think the end result is and yet there never will be an end result, as things are revealed as we move along the journey and come about by us simply deciding to move forward with SOME-thing. Then that “thing” starts to evolve as we go along. It also starts to deepen or prepare us for other things, as some of the tools, skills and confidence we gain in the process are needed to get to the next step. We can’t just jump there prematurely, as either we won’t be prepared, the timing isn’t fully aligned on a Universal, big-picture level, or we may scare/scar ourselves far worse out of making moves at all.
That is why my own journey has evolved so much and continually changes, and I know it will continue to and completely shift altogether in some regards. That may look to some as though I am fickle, unable to commit, blow with the wind…but to me I am simply allowing my heart and Spirit to guide me where the greatest use of my talents and the greatest joy of my heart is needed and leads me. And in doing so, I am continuously supporting evolutionary growth and expanding upon perceived limitations that may otherwise be if I simply attached, anchored and set up camp for life.
While what I do may change in its outward appearance or in terms of the clothing it wears, the things I do in totality are along a similar vein of theme always. It just appears different in how it channels through at any given moment. Just as it has since the beginning.
I’ve been heard as saying over the last 6+ months, that I no longer try to see predictive visions and I have short term memory. 😉 What I mean by that is that I may get a strong feeling on where something is headed, but how and when is unclear and I have no attachment to it either, as what I have found is that in just being present with “what is” right here and now…it really doesn’t matter. The journey may take me there sooner, later, or never. But I’ll sure have fun and explore and grow a lot in between.
I’ve also learned that my strong intuitive hits are usually so far ahead, it has become obsolete to even share them because so much shifts in the process, that it is more important to focus on the journey. And when and if I end up, or someone else I had a very strong intuitive hit on ends up, where I felt we would a few years ago, really doesn’t matter. I think the point here is not to get hung up on fixating on any one thing. It is good to know the essence of what it is you are bringing forth and intending, but to allow for all of the beautiful explorations and experiences to guide you along the way.
Intuition is key and important to keep an eye on, learning to listen to your first instincts with supportive action, but as long as you do so in the very powerful present, the “later” is inconsequential since all things unfold at once and are affected by the now. Continuously, moment to moment, trusting your inner voice will take you exactly where you need to go rather than getting caught up on something intuitive coming in 5 years from now and stressing over how the heck to do the things in the interim leading up to it.
One intuitive step at a time…..
And as far as my very short term memory goes, I feel this is a powerful confirmation that I have been embracing and integrating that power of being present right here and now.
I don’t have full clarity on how things will come together. I only “know,” in my heart of hearts, the essence of why I am here and the particular theme I am assisting by my committed soul choice and responsibility. How that comes through is a journey that I don’t fully need to know (nor could perhaps be capable of processing fully right now anyway) and can enjoy its blossoming as I cultivate each seed.
Besides, some of us are very multi-faceted and living integration lives. So it may seem even more challenging to pinpoint something to choose as the ultimate goal, but the beauty is you can just choose where you’re most drawn to right now and what brings you the greatest joy, moment to moment – sometimes doing many things at once, other times one or two. By taking a step in “some” direction, you open the possibilities for opportunities and more things to unfold. Doors will open. Doors will close. But standing still only creates stagnation, which opposes the very fiber of our existence and the totality of Universal Life Force Energy that is constantly cycling.
I came to see in my process that no one is going to tell us this ultimate answer either. Everything changes moment to moment and while an overall theme and likelihood of where you’re headed based on your trajectory so far may be possible, it all comes down in the end to the big mystery being right before you the whole time, just hidden behind a veil of uncertainty, unsupported need for nurturing, fear, and forgotten dreams.
I, too, have gotten caught up and frustrated in trying to know and see what it all was and felt the confusion and despair, rather than letting my heart just guide me. But please don’t feel discouraged. There may always be an ebb and flow to the waves of feelings and experiences you come across, but this is natural and set up exactly as your soul knew would be for your highest good to really assist your chosen journey.
And sometimes the more you know and the more you’ve traveled down a spiritual and conscious path, the potentially more ingenious you are at really devising self-sabotaging ways to hold yourself back or even painfully lie to yourself, masked as road blocks, or even masked behind your own spiritual fluff. 😉 I have seen this constantly where we have learned so many big spiritual concepts and words that we can easily talk ourselves in a circle to avoid the very heart and core of the matter, which lies behind all of that and in the very deepest of vulnerable places inside of you. “There” is the real truth. The truth even you hide from yourself for fear of the power that responsibility comes with in opening the lock on that door you’ve kept closed for a reason that no longer has the need to hold power over you… if in fact you can be honest with yourself and live from your heart always.
I know self-sabotage very well and can spot it quite well now in others and learned my personal processes so that I can keep ahead of myself. Sometimes this turns into hitting a wall and not feeling able to move in any direction, but I’m wise on me now (LOL) and wish the same for you. It is possible to understand these deep and sometimes darker shadow parts. It just takes courage, patience, gentleness, and a willingness to really “want” to know the truth of yourself and your own inner demons. For some, it is easier to live on the surface. For me, I choose to get down and dirty whenever the occasion may arise.
There are even times when you will get to a really good place and hit moments of doubt or question. I know I have had those times where I wonder if anything I’m doing makes a difference. I think that is another common experience. But I then quickly realize that that is when I am stepping out of my heart’s essence and flow and being in my mind and in duality separation. Then I get back on track when I realize confirmations are not needed in the way we are taught to think they should come. The confirmation is in how I feel when I’m doing something I believe in and love wholeheartedly and in holding the space of what I know as my truth beyond all else.
The path needn’t be clear…only your heart does.