I realized yesterday how potent today – Valentine’s Day – and the energy surrounding this day has been over the last couple of years for me and my little ones with big souls.
And while I shared February’s Newsletter last evening, which focused on the importance and value of self love and individual expression, I know that my beautiful animal companion partners have been instrumental in helping me to discover the layers of myself to love.
As I shared in my newsletter, “it just so happens that things have aligned to create Valentine’s Day as my day of falling in love with myself in a renewed way….celebrating a rekindling of my relationship to myself on a whole new level, as well as beginning a transition into another leg of my journey with shifts of focus and romancing my soul’s essence in a new dance of life.”
That dance of life couldn’t have been possible without my sweet loves and the precious and valuable reflections they have gifted me. Their soul journeys and the energy they carry have been the alchemy of my life.
And, this day – Valentine’s Day – one year ago was the beginning of Cosmo and Joy’s dance together, uniting the Sacred Masculine and Feminine energies that reflected for me the union within myself I was also ready to embrace and empower.
It is so interesting to see how throughout my life I mostly had only female animal companions.
I had only one other male energy – my first male rabbit, Twinkie, but for only three months of my life before he left this Earth. He began my journey, holding that point for me on the path, reminding me I would need to revisit his energy again when I was ready.
But it appears I needed to work with the Feminine energy first, as the collective has been doing too.
And so every dear companion after Twinkie was female – all of my parakeets and then of course Nestor, Gaia, and Joy.
It wasn’t until Cosmo that the Sacred Masculine returned…when I was ready to unite those parts in a new way within myself.
As it isn’t just about the Feminine focus. We cannot forget the Masculine and we will need revisit the Male energy to integrate both in their highest potential and purity, for wholeness.
This is the symbolism of divine love through divine union of both parts to create harmony.
And Joy and Cosmo’s journey has mirrored the energies I’ve been working on within myself, simultaneously. All of what has taken place couldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t been ready to integrate the next layers.
On this day, February 14th, 2015, in Big Bear,which was Joy and Cosmo’s first travels together, they shared their first and very long, peaceful nose-to-nose connection, which is what you see in this photo below.
And since that day, it’s been the most beautiful love connection filled with mutual respect, honor, tenderness, and warmth, which evolved into this not long after:
I can’t believe both that it’s already been a year, but that it’s only been a year!
It seems like an eternal love we have shared together across time.
And speaking of love across time…I’ve had Gaia on my mind a lot recently, finding myself connecting with the Tortoise/Turtle energy and using it as example for a lot of things I talk about….”slow and steady like the turtle” I often find myself saying…or “going within like the turtle”.
I then yesterday got struck with the realization of a very poignant and memorable experience that happened with Gaia, two years ago yesterday.
On February 13th, 2014 I shared this story about Gaia, Tattoos, Lapis Lazuli & Expansive Shifts ~ The Journey Continues
And in the story was a recounting of what took place right before Gaia went into the Earth for good, and back to her expansive self without a body. I realized just yesterday the magnitude of that moment we shared now with ever greater meaning that at the time had a different meaning.
Now I understand Gaia was saying much more than a farewell for now, as since she did not return, she was actually soulfully sharing her eternal love and gratitude across space and time until our return to each other in spirit one day.
Here is the excerpt from my post of that experience we shared:
“I’d like to finish this post with the most endearing, amazing, and precious moment of reverence and love I’ve had with Gaia – I’m tearing up right now writing this. The depth of meaning to all that has been unfolding and that does in my daily life, in general, I can’t possibly express. Yet, I know many of you understand in your own unique ways with all that you experience. So some things are simply left unsaid.
This special experience happened this morning. Since Gaia returned, we washed her up and brought her indoors. The first evening she spent on her heating blanket, then fell asleep on the cold tile, likely needing to moderate her body temperature back in stages. She remained out of it and still not eating. Next morning she spent on her heating blanket and still no food, but later during Reiki training, she came marching through and made her way to my office and I later found her asleep under the bottom of my wall tapestry of Faery Queen Astranaithes – also known as the magickal Dragon Witch.
This morning when she woke up I brought her to her heating blanket and then put out some more food. This time she went to it and slowly ate several bites, taking her time to assimilate it. Then I watched what she wanted to do next, as I made smoothies and golden raisin, cinnamon scones in the kitchen. I saw her walk toward the door to the yard and looked at it, then went back to her heating blanket. I had a feeling she wanted back outside.
I went to go sit with her and check in. And this is when the most magickal moment happened.
I won’t be able to explain the magnitude, but I’ll just share what I experienced. I sat there with my hand, palm facing up, next to her, as I telepathically spoke to her. My hand started heating up like when I do Reiki and then Gaia slowly reached her right, front leg up and forward, letting it come to rest across my index and middle fingers where they connect to my palm. And she kept it there, as she then turned her neck towards me and stretched it as far as she could, looking me directly in my eyes, while we sat there – “holding hands”.
I was overcome with emotions hearing her saying thank you for everything, for trusting, and supporting her. All of the mutual respect, honor, gratitude and love we have shared through the ages all washed over us both in those minutes and we also were clear on how this journey would need to continue. I understood.
We were not only a human with her tortoise companion – leg in hand, but we were two souls meeting in our wholeness, as we recognized everything in that moment that was us and beyond us.
Tears rolled, as she then reached forward into my hand with her left, front leg and then slowly put half her body in my hand while again stretching to look up at me, asking me to lift and hold her up, as she once did for me. I held her to my heart and then knew she wanted back outside and wanted me to carry her there. I can share that Gaia has returned to the depths of Gaia – our connection and understanding deepened in mirror to the depths she will be traveling.”
I did not know then that our next meeting would be beyond this Earth experience.
And now I understand.
I understand so much more than I once have and that has come through the love and connection I share with my dear little ones.
Gaia, Joy, Cosmo, and Nestor have been my soul companions on a journey back to myself.
We have each supported one another and continue to do so regardless of being on or off Earth.
I have such a deep reverence for these souls that moves me beyond words. What they have helped me to uncover within myself could only have been through these bonds we shared.
I am deeply grateful they chose to show up with me again, this time around, as they/we knew it would be through our bond that I would evolve and work through my layers, just as I could support them with their journeys.
I have learned that love – the kind that is beyond physical love and walks the path of cosmic expansive love – is often the guiding force that trumps responsibility when we are challenged with doing what we know.
It’s no wonder that the souls in animal bodies would be the instruments to my soul’s evolution.
They know the way to my heart and my inner soul child.
And it is that heart and soul of the child within that has been the key all along.
The purity that resides there is the only mission I am driven to protect and express.
This is my little ones’ message for me…stand in the power, love, and purity of my innocence no matter what happens and takes place, for that is the sacred mystery that we seek.
And in order to do so I am my own mother and father…my own male and female partners…my own lover…my own friend…nurturing, guiding, loving, and supporting that innocence of being to sing her song she carries within her energetic signature.
Your inner soul child is simply wanting to be heard. And being heard, actually entails you have taken to heart what he or she says, and make a new commitment to do at least one small thing each day to support the requests.
These requests aren’t simply whims, but reflect a deeper knowing that will likely surpass your ability in the now to comprehend, but if you take the trustful steps to support them and do what it takes to integrate what could be of assistance to that process, the results will bless you beyond measure of any one thing you feel lacking and have been chasing after.
A new kind of clarity and understanding is available to each of us. It will awaken and shift you the instant you recognize and embrace it. And it will always keep you in check so as to alert you of imbalances where you can then make different choices that will harmonize and return that balance that is so needed for everything to flourish.
This will also help you to become more attuned to the natural world that will move you in divine cycles, rather than struggling against them to create artificial ones.
So, where are the barriers to your self love?
Removing the veils and masks will help you to be real about how you feel, not hiding behind what you think you “should” be feeling, saying, or showing to others.
If you can’t be genuine with something – and you know when you’re not – then take time to explore what’s behind that.
This is a time for opening up and expanding into more authentic love and compassion for self, others, and all of life.
Make this Valentine’s Day be the day of romancing YOUR soul’s essence in a new dance of life.
Happy 1st of May and Beltane.
On Beltane Eve I placed a tiny, tiny crystal out on a larger, raw quartz altar underneath the Jasmine and Lavender as an offering to the Faeries.
I took an evening walk and the sky on one side was baby blue with the glowing crystal clear Moon, nearly full, and on the other side this magnificent burst of life suddenly appeared like someone splashed brilliant fuchsia, lilac, tangerine orange, and golden paint across the sunset sky. It was such a beautiful contrast and yet such a beautiful Union of Sun and Moon energies reflected from within us.
I also took Cosmo out to connect with Nature, as you see in the photo above.
This image of his Divine and Sacred Male soul in total harmony and embrace of the Divine and Sacred Feminine embodied in our Earth Mother Terra, just took my breath away. It to me is the epitome of this precious dance of life and creation in its fertile abundance and purity – a Sacred Marriage and Union of Earth and Cosmo(s). Much like the Sun and Moon lit skies I’d seen as well.
“Beltane honours Life. It represents the peak of Spring and the beginning of Summer. Earth energies are at their strongest and most active. All of life is bursting with potent fertility and at this point in the Wheel of the Year, the potential becomes conception. On May Eve the sexuality of life and the earth is at its peak. Abundant fertility, on all levels, is the central theme. The Maiden goddess has reached her fullness. She is the manifestation of growth and renewal, Flora, the Goddess of Spring, the May Queen, the May Bride. The Young Oak King, as Jack-In-The-Green, as the Green Man, falls in love with her and wins her hand. The union is consummated and the May Queen becomes pregnant. Together the May Queen and the May King are symbols of the Sacred Marriage (or Heiros Gamos), the union of Earth and Sky, and this union has merrily been re-enacted by humans throughout the centuries. For this is the night of the Greenwood Marriage. It is about sexuality and sensuality, passion, vitality and joy. And about conception. A brilliant moment in the Wheel of the Year to bring ideas, hopes and dreams into action. And have some fun…..”
There was little snow, but the Big Bear resorts make their own, so the conditions for skiing were still pretty good and actually quite nice being so warm – like springtime – while still getting to enjoy gliding down the mountain and taking in the sights from above.
I had to smile at the magickal energy around, as the cabin where we stayed was named Rainbow Cabin and it resided on Rainbow Ave.
I also caught something from the Elemental Realm in a photo where it appears as a burst of faery dusted lights emanating green sparkles, below the sun burst through the trees.
I had decided that while away, this would be the perfect time to work on bonding Joy and Cosmo, my two bunnies. Neutral zones are the best for this, and so that’s what we did. Each day we shared one to two 20 minutes sessions of bonding.
And I have to say, I am SO pleased at what took place.
There was no crazy, aggressive, or ferocious behaviors. I was mostly concerned about how Joy would be, but she had proven to be past her fears, and now was just working at creating healthy boundaries.
Joy is a sensitive one and has challenges with certain male energies. This has created a fear in her that can really throw her off if she doesn’t have tools to regain balance. We’ve worked on this in the past and she has gotten through things much quicker because of the support.
Something to understand about Joy is that she is quite a powerful presence (a strong Female integrating her Sacred Male (Cosmo) and has very BIG energy, even though she is in this tiny little, peaceful bubble of fur. Yet, she can get unbalanced very easily when stressed. That’s not unfamiliar territory to mom, so it’s no wonder she is in my life and that we are able to understand and help one another.
Cosmo on the other hand is a very different male energy. He is definitely in touch with his Sacred Feminine (Joy) and simply wants to give love and has no problem supporting Joy’s needs to create boundaries and exercise her control in doing so. In fact, he will become submissive to do so.
So when they were brought together for the first time, there was like a dance of energetic communication going on where Joy was laying the ground rules and Cosmo was listening and supporting them, learning to dial back his joyful exuberance.
I was there caressing both of them during all of it, as this helps keep the calm and also helps demonstrate to them that this is the behavior to be mimicking – that of nuzzling, grooming, and being gentle with one another.
I could tell that they both were in fact calm…no hyper breathing or crazy heart beats amping up. Joy did not exhibit fear. I allowed her to come and go as she pleased, which she did. She would act coy at first and pretend to occupy herself with something while she was assessing her moves and preparing herself for each encounter.
Then she would approach Cosmo and they would have long silent moments of nose-to-nose time, or sitting very close to each other, where a lot was being communicated even though it seemed nothing was – a testing ground in exercising boundaries and mutual respect.
And then Joy did her first dominating move to show who was in charge.
She started to hump Cosmo, but rather than from behind, she did it to his face/head. LOL! Humping is a normal behavior they can exhibit when introduced, as a way to show dominance, and as long as there is no fights, crazy biting, etc….this is okay. She did none of that, but I had to laugh so hard, and continued to do so long after, as it was so obvious Joy was literally “taking the bull by the horns” and laying it straight to Cosmo. She wanted him to know she was okay with him, but she would like to be in charge and that boundaries were needed to make her feel comfortable to then take the rest a day at a time.
And Cosmo did not fight this one bit. He laid there peacefully and submissively accepted the rules, as his only desire is to show his love for her. He seemed to understand her process and what she needed to work through and was happy to assist, as long as things didn’t get out of hand.
And after that things continued to unfold beautifully. She would come over to him and they’d smell each other, touch noses, lay by each other…and when she felt energetically she’d had enough, she then moved away until she could handle some more time connecting.
At times she would turn her back to him, but allow him to lay right by her with his head and nose touching her side and sniffing her.
I was very happy to say the least, with a heart bursting with warmth.
Yet to add to this happiness was another amazing thing that took place during this weekend by Cosmo. On one of the days, after I did his leg extension therapy exercises, he sat himself up all on his own and he moved around like a normal little bunny, upright and fully balanced and strong for a good 10 minutes!
This was incredible! Normally he can do it for brief moments, or I help support one side for him, as it’s mostly to help strengthen his legs and muscles. But he was up and about and moving around as if he had no injury.
It brought such joyful tears. He hasn’t done it since, but if he did it once, he WILL do it again!
There was much to celebrate indeed from the weekend.
And while away I had my own processes I was going through. In many ways I feel, just like our animal soul companions take on things for us to ease our struggles and pains, as well as to teach us about how we can move through our challenges, I, too, was going through similar mirroring experiences.
I found myself working again with my own boundaries and stress triggers…something I knew nothing about for the greater portion of my life, being so ultra no-boundaryish both as a Pisces and as a super-sensitive. But it has become incredibly important to me in my latter years and something I have to continually be on top of energetically so as to create my own balance, just like Joy.
I was very proud of Joy, and yet I also would like to assist her in balancing her energy. I know I can do this by example, as this is more powerful than merely telling her how.
There is such a thing as going from one extreme to another, so once she/we understand where our comfort zone of personal well being and accountable responsibility truly lies, then we can learn to tweak things and dial back or increase boundary exercising so that we also allow for the giving and receiving in a natural and loving flow to take place.
So, I do share with Joy how proud I am that she is exercising boundaries without ferocious aggression, I also point out how Cosmo is listening and only wants to love her, and that he has disabilities where her loving, very powerful healing energy could be supportive to him. So, she will need to find a balance that feels comfortable where she can both give and receive, while honoring her needs.
Something mom has had come up a lot, and this weekend when I unplugged, it allowed me the space to have stresses make themselves known that had been weighing on me. And it showed me what I don’t want, won’t entertain, and am not okay with, and what I do want very clearly, but first I had to go through a day of feeling that bubble to the surface, causing me to wake in the middle of the night with anxiety.
The next evening I then pulled a muscle in my lower back literally by doing nothing weird physically other than get up from squatting down, after I had made some notes in my notebook.
I knew immediately this was a manifestation of the energy I had unleashed and was working through, not to mention, it also felt partially tied to Cosmo. I always look at the underlying root of the challenge that the physical is simply a trigger and manifested message of.
The pulled muscle was literally debilitating and I was wiggling around just like my little wiggle worm Cosmo when I would lay down, as I literally couldn’t sit, lay down, or move much more than walking straight, let alone sneeze, blow my nose, or laugh without being aware of the pain. It just so happens that it was on my right side, just like his injury and I didn’t think that was coincidence either. Not to mention, the right has direct connection to the male energy I, just like Joy, am working with.
For me that is about how I’ve been working with and integrating the new male energy in my daily life experiences of how I go about things and exercise healthy assertion, boundaries, and active energy. It is this key that I’m at threshold with in my own life changes that is going to make a huge difference.
I’d never experienced this before, although have heard of people always saying how they bent over and did this or that and suddenly pulled a muscle. However, I don’t look at these things as accidents, but rather, see them for what they really are.
So, I was actually very grateful for it happening, as it meant I was moving through this stuff I’d been digging deep into with my own work, so that I could be done with it. Having the physical manifestation show up is a good thing in my book. As if it just stays in the mental arena, it isn’t going to really do the healing and transmutation needed to move beyond it fully. So, I celebrated the pain and thanked it for showing up. Up and out, as I like to say!
And it also really felt like Cosmo and I were becoming One through this experience as well. And so it took my relationship to my own challenge and myself, as well as my relationship with Cosmo, to a whole other level.
It also gave me more time to relax and allow others to do things for me. I could still walk and gently hike, which was much easier than sitting or laying down (not to mention nurturing to be out in fresh nature), as long as it wasn’t a straining walk. And I got time in the jacuzzi, took a couple baths, as well as enjoyed a massage on my way back home – all really nurturing.
Then yesterday, I took Cosmo to his first acupuncture appointment. He did so amazing while the doctor put needles throughout his spine, legs, and even on his crown chakra and then hooked him up to the electrodes.
I stood there for the nearly 2 hours (which was a little challenging) rubbing his little head and cheeks, as he went into zen mode. I was so touched when I had to take a break to use the restroom and upon return the doctor said, “Cosmo really loves and knows his mom, as when you left he turned his head and looked after you as if to say ‘where are you going?’ and when he heard your voice in the hall, even though there were other voices, his ears perked up and he became alert even through his zen mode.”
That warmed my heart.
And after I got home from the appointment, my back was feeling 90% healed (after basically being fully handicapped myself). Instantly. Like that! We really are SO connected.
I was then greeted by a dear friend visiting from out of town and although I had a busy schedule, I released it all to spend time to have lunch and walk on the beach with her, as I knew that was the best thing for me rather than worrying about how to get things done before I leave Friday.
I was so grateful to receive a surprise birthday gift from her, and another in the mail from my sweet faery sister. I also received three really supportive and abundant manifestations directly after, which all felt to be direct blessings for my willingness to embrace the change.
I continue to take it easy, and doing only that which I feel within my comfort zone to do, just like Joy, and am happy to share I am still feeling at 90%, which is awesome and amazing, as to how quickly I reversed things.
The last 10% is up to me, as to whether I quickly move through it and get back to balance fully. Or, if I were NOT to heed the message and NOT to apply what I know, hence could easily revert back to full debilitation again just as quickly.
The journey is up to us as to which way we want to go, how easy or challenging it will be, and how much peace we allow and embrace, regardless of what shows up.
Being that I know the connection between all things, my personal work can be a reflection and energetic opening for both Joy and Cosmo, as theirs is for me. And it is also this reason I share with you, as we are all energetically linked.