Posted by Tania Marie's Blog
What I’m sharing in this post today comes from my last Newsletter, for the month of August, which I just sent out yesterday.
It’s the last one before I head off on my three month sabbatical, which begins on September 1st and goes through November 30th.
It’s an important one to share, although I will still be posting blogs up through August 31st, as it expresses my personal journey around this, which might mirror some of your own. But it is my last newsletter, since I do those monthly, only.
Since the people who read my blog and newsletter are very different, I’m sharing it here:
A Farewell for Now
What’s happening in my personal experience?
I usually share a lot of collective inspiration that channels through each month, sprinkled with how that relates for me. And while that will still come through this month, it will take place by you discovering your own reflections in a more personal note of sharing this time that perhaps you might relate to, or find a seed of connection with, in some way.
As you know, I will be taking off on my 3 month personal sabbatical beginning September 1st. That’s just a month away now and oh so much to do before then, as so much has been rapidly unfolding since I made that decision!
I will be completely unplugged and unreachable, as I venture into my little creative bubble and have the opportunity to be purely with myself.
On the one hand, this experience feels like a long time coming, and on the other hand, it is divinely aligned and couldn’t have happened any sooner than it is.
It also happens to coincide with some big life changes taking place – no coincidence – and so the timing couldn’t be better if I’d actually planned it, and yet of course we know I did. 😉
It has all been divinely guided by my intuition and inner heart knowing. And then completely trusted and unwavering in that knowing, although remaining flexible to the flow of energy so it would all be effortless, rather than feel like work or forced in anyway, and surrendering it with intention for the highest good of all concerned.
Since many of you have been curious and asking, I thought I’d share what’s going on in a more intimate way, as I feel that transparency and vulnerability is important to create more of the same reflections collectively.
Maybe you’ll see yourself somewhere in my share, since nothing we do is energetically isolated to just us, alone.
What has led me here?
This personal sabbatical is not one where I’ll be traveling off to explore, nor is it about sitting in meditation and stillness. It’s like a complete soul reset where I get to choose not only from a clean slate in this life, but a clean soul slate in terms of my collective soul.
I’ve shared with a few people that I’ve been what I call, “soul tired.”
This is not a physical tiredness, nor is it an energetic drain from overwork. In fact, it has little to do with my actual human body, and yet has everything to do with both my human and Earthly incarnations as a soul, on the whole.
It actually is not easy to explain how it feels, unless you’re experiencing similar, but needless to say, it is a simultaneous experience of feeling death and birth both upon me.
It is coming to a place of rest, peace, and recognition of all that has been in my Earthly lives, all that has culminated throughout my soul “history” here, and being conscious of it all, understanding what I have been awaiting myself to realize, while having integrated it as well.
At times that has felt heavy, like a mourning while I review everything and make soul decisions (which will now be moment to moment and day to day at a whole new level where anything profound can take place in an instant), sometimes overwhelming, a fully encompassing soul exhaustion that literally wants to remove myself from everything, frustration knowing I’ve had to fully put closure to everything on all levels with loving release while I have been so ready soulfully to move on for over a year and have been living in the new reality already, and yet peacefully embraced with understanding at the same time, while also like a huge ecstatic relief and excitement.
It’s a recognition and reverence for it all, and involves having reviewed my soul records, realizing the contracts really ARE done, I’ve paid my dues so to speak, I’ve even finished the extensions I gave myself and in some cases didn’t realize I was living on still without need to, and knowing from here on out, it’s all up to me in a very new and freeing, expansive way, as to what I want to create, engage in, and invest my life vitality towards.
It always has been freedom of will and choice and yet there was also a personal soul responsibility I had chosen to agree to with all of me, and contracts my heart were in every way committed to see through.
I’m one of those souls, like many of you, who have been more than around the block here on Earth, incarnating more times than I can count and in more forms than you can imagine.
Things took their shift at the end of 2012, involving coming to realizations of closure, but have been in a state of not fully grasping that for many of us, and a time period of integrating what that meant for each individually and collectively.
I’d say that it didn’t fully in embodiment hit me on every level until the end of Summer, beginning of Fall, of last year 2014, although was coming through loudly all of 2014 and end of 2013.
A series of potent dream sequences (which were happening in real-soul-time) took place during that end of Summer, beginning of Fall time period that not only explicitly gave me these messages, activated an upgrade, and offered me the most freeing and yet defining choice of my Earthly soul-existence, but have changed the way in which I live, see, feel, and experience things in all ways.
Now, I am looking at this vast and boundless “space” before me, much like the black background of this newsletter, knowing that I get to purely create in each moment, with very fulfilling release from any contract to fulfill, and only having the responsibility of my essence guiding me.
No longer is it about “holding space”, but is now about “creating space.”
What will this look like?
In terms of my 3 month sabbatical, as mentioned, I won’t be in meditative stillness or off venturing around the world, but rather, will be involved in ecstatic creation during this time, as well as ecstatic embodiment, which will carry through thereafter.
This is an experience to a level never have I had before, but it’s also one that comes from the immensity of soul credit built up from all of the committed work invested.
I think many of you can relate to the weight of what I share in that without necessity for detailing, because you’ve experienced this, or are realizing and experiencing it now, and perhaps hadn’t known how to put it all into words.
That doesn’t mean there won’t be new, exciting challenges and evolutionary paths to embrace, but they are done with flow, harmony, and in the grace of essence simply unfolding creatively each moment by conscious choice.
I prefer the word “ecstasy” to “bliss”, although they share similar definitions.
Some definitions of ecstasy include:
- rapturous delight
- an overpowering emotion or exaltation
- the frenzy of poetic inspiration
- an emotional frenzy or trance-like state, originally one involving an experience of mystic self-transcendenceSo, I will be venturing into the inner sanctum of ecstatic living, and during my 3 months “off”, I will actually be very much “on” in terms of full body activation.
This will be a time period of creative channeling based solely on where my heart is guided and nothing else.
I have several creative projects wanting to channel through involving writing, art, soul music/musical immanence, and animals – both Cosmic and Earth connected. This will also be a time period for resetting the soul button, spending quality time with my beloveds, and most of all having a new relationship with myself and life to see where I choose to go next.
Every moment being lived in the fullest, as if there may or may not be another tomorrow, as things are.
Decisions will also be made during this time, as to what things will look like upon my return from this renewing and invigorating bubble, as I will also be putting together the things that have spoken to me to share with you.
So, there will in fact be changes in store as to what offerings look like and what new things will be available for us to co-creatively engage in.
This includes, for me, a new life of greater simplicity and ease to take in everything in a whole new, yet most naturally-me way.
Loving life from the multi-dimensionally empowered perspective with utter freedom of will and choice at every turn. Cosmic me fully integrated with Earthly me.
I realized this was actually integrating visibly when yesterday a man stopped me while I was out waiting for friends to join me for lunch, to discuss my tattoos (I wore a backless top). I turned around and he proceeded to ask me what I do, sharing he was a “psychic”, only to stop in the midst of his sentence, leaning in and peering closer at my eyes and said, “You have stars in your eyes, did you know that?”
On the physical level he was speaking to the amber gold star-like burst around my pupils sitting in my blue/green eyes. But on another level, it then hit me that what I’ve been embracing embodiment of more was taking form, as he continued with “You Star People…”
What else is happening?
I also mentioned that my decision to take this 3 month time off also “happens” to coincide with some life changes that have been expedited quite rapidly since announcing this, and returning from activating in Indiana with Laura, reclaiming, acknowledging, releasing, and seeding in Sedona, as well as reconnecting with my essence with the horses in British Columbia. Not to mention the two big trips to Iceland and Peru I knew I had to take and did at onset of this year that kick-started it all.
I can’t begin to tell you all of the extremely magickal details that have been unfolding to manifest what is happening.
And, truth be known…I have simply connected with full heart, body, mind, and soul what I knew in my heart I wanted. Then, trusted implicitly, regardless of the hurdles that were around, or what appeared on the outside, and without need to know how.
My entire life has shifted in reflection to my personal shifts embraced. I know you know what I mean and have experienced how that works yourself.
EMBODY the change….SEE the change.
In a nutshell, one thing after another has continued to fall into place…and not just “any” place, but so divinely aligned it could only be the magick of essence embodiment manifest.
That said, in a matter of one and a half weeks, the house has been rented for three years to the most perfect, dear family and friends, this weekend the RV and car to be towed are all on their way here, all the upgrades will be started next week on the RV, I’m plugging through finalizing my work this month, the bunnies are loving best friends and both got clean bills of health from the vet through blood tests, etc. – so they’re ready to go, and amazing things keep showing up daily not only for me, but everyone I know around me.
It’s incredible how much has shifted. And while it seems overnight, it has been a process of continued belief, dedication, and moving forward.
No matter what I heard or any thing that would arise that seemed to halt things, I knew there was a reason and I knew it wouldn’t change what I wanted and saw happening. If a temporary road block appeared, I knew it meant to relax and realize that I was to be patient for a better and more aligned moment and experience that was on the threshold.
So, October 15th is the official hand-over-of-the-house-to-amazing-souls-day that will also be caring for my beloved Garden Tower and garden. And the beginning of October will see the move from house to RV. YAY!!
For now, we’ll be in an RV park in Orange County, until the next leg of the journey comes together and reveals itself. I don’t know how the next thing is going to happen, but I do know that it will.
This was what needed to be done first and because it wasn’t forced, but flowed with…waiting just for the precise moment to leap, it all came together seamlessly.
It’s a balance of intention without attachment or expectation, full embodiment of the new even though it isn’t here yet, flowing with the energy rather than forcing it, not allowing setbacks to deter you or discourage you, realizing the perfection of what shows up, and then courageously leaping when there’s a green light. Plus, don’t forget to intend everything for the highest good of all concerned to create the most harmonious and love-centered experience for everyone involved.
The Universe then supports you tenfold.
One step at a time…and it’s all about taking the steps without need to know how.
And I KNOW the rest is going to unfold once this all takes place.
So YES, I will be extremely busy this month of August, which is why I’m getting this very last newsletter out right away (coinciding with the potent Aquarius Full Blue Moon) before I head off on my sabbatical, as I’ll be working on projects I have to complete by August 31st, while starting to work on all that needs to be done for the life shift.
(While I’ve always been about the Moon, everything Sun-filled with juicy Golden Light has my attention these days…working with both the Shadow and Light for depth of integration and expansion.)
All of the preparations and getting grounded with these new life shifts will stem into my first month “off”, combining both my creative process with what I’m creating in a literal physical way, to mirror my heart’s desire of ecstatic living to support the inspirational channeling process.
Essence and heart focus equals collective service automatically.
Do I believe?
You’re darn right I do and I have all my life, despite any and all experiences I’ve been through.
It’s what has gotten me this far and how I’ve created what I have despite and because of all the challenges faced.
My belief in things is unwavering, despite what people think of me for what I believe, or even for how I choose to live my life.
And one of the things I believe in is you, too.
I wish each and every one of you your heart’s desires and hope to see you on the other end of my sabbatical, sharing in your own version of ecstatic living.
I look forward to sharing and connecting more then.
In love and creative magick,
P.S. Remember I’m still available to discuss inquiries or questions through August 31st. So if there’s something you’ve been interested in knowing about or wanting to share, now’s the time this month to do so, as I won’t be available for the following 3 months after, beginning September 1st.