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The Ghost of a Flea – Symbolism and Messages to Embody this Mighty Shadow Totem

ghost of a flea

This is a great miniature painting by William Blake titled “The Ghost of a Flea” that demonstrates its collective shadow aspect (discussed below) in the magnification of the Flea as a monstrous, bloodthirsty creature


It’s been an interesting and full several days since Thursday night, and in general upon arriving back home from Alaska.

I spent the majority of yesterday – just over 6 hours – in Jury Duty, which was a fascinating experience of observation. Between that and a rendezvous with TSA for finger-printing to assist expedited travel (resulting in the confirmation of my mutant humanness with unnatural, never-seen human patterning, as was put to me), unexpected vet appointments, and flea infestation, it’s been a 3D check-in of realities that are so foreign to me. And, definitely such a contrast from the bridge-between-worlds of Alaska’s heavenly, untouched nature – which activated deeper natural frequency alignment in me.

I love how we dance with realities, as integrative check-ins when we are in process of major shifts. When a bunch of stuff shows up that seems opposite to you, it’s not a negative thing to react to or worry about, but actually a good indicator of the changes you have made.

I’ve also noticed increased psychic connection and telepathy recently, not to mention experiencing tremendous changes all around that happen very quickly.

Due to so much in flux and needing to honor what is showing up now, even Sunday’s Crystal Workshop had to be postponed and combined with October 11th’s and our BC Horse and Reiki Retreat is in process of rescheduling for Spring – “luckily” 😉 all of these changes worked out for everyone involved and people that were registered were also in tune with the shifts.

A lot has energetically changed since my journey away and I do not feel the same as even just a couple of weeks ago, let alone yesterday.

Since arriving home I have felt increasingly like the observer – evermore compassionately detached and yet in that detachment, even more connected. I’ve felt more foreign to the place I call home and finding things to energetically feel more off, but in the most subtle yet noticeable ways. I’m seeing it as reminders of what is natural to me and what is not. But it also increases the innate essence connection that resides in my cosmic soul to a bigger and divine picture, providing even greater understanding.

These are all things I’ve noticed and noted before, but now the finest fluctuations of energy out of alignment with what feels natural, are softly blaring their existence to me like a middle child who yearns for attention.

There have even been eerie reminders of times long ago and the demise that resulted – all to catapult me into the new with greater fortitude and embrace.

But, I’m getting a bit into too many realms here, so I’ll dial it back to the original thought that triggered this share, which is a lot of interesting experiences have been happening, both inwardly and outwardly, since I returned home.

And one of those, as mentioned, includes a flea infestation that I finally pinpointed on Thursday night.

The fleas brought up mixed emotions, including being challenged with not feeling resentment toward the situation and sadness. This all resulting from my “protective mom” qualities that watch over and care for Joy, my rabbit, like a mother Bear with her cubs.

Joy is such a precious and fragile little one (at least in the physical, although her soul is powerful) that she brings out the most vulnerable and tender in me. And to see her invaded with fleas and with chunks of hair loss, was heart-breaking for mom, especially since she has never been subjected to anything before like this and I take grave care with caring for her from learning with my departed Nestor.

Joy also represents me and aspects of my vulnerability and strength, so of course, anything that happens to her is a personal reflection for me to integrate.

Because I look at the layers of things and feel the importance of integrating those shadow aspects that emerge for a reason, having those kinds of feelings crop up immediately had me exploring them more and going straight into the wider perspective than what my narrow human emotions and ego would be capable of if left to run amuck.

On the surface I saw Joy as an innocent bystander of the flea attack, as she is protected indoors and it was fleas brought in by the cats who have a play pen outside, that this resulted from.

THAT was the limited perspective from ego emotions.

However, there is always a bigger picture story to all of this I feel, and that all of the players involved are creating the perfect learning curve experience for the greater evolutionary good.

THAT is the wider perspective.

Also, I didn’t like how while I understand the bigger picture, that a part of me still gets bothered by things like mosquitos and fleas attacking me and loved ones, as they also have their own meaning and purpose. Being a magnet for these biting creatures and with an allergic reaction from my strong immune system that severely attacks foreigners, it can be very uncomfortable. And yet, that discomfort also has its place and lesson. So when I, too, found ankle and foot bitten effects of this infestation, it was something I wanted to explore more deeply.

It may seem like a silly thing, but I was also bothered by the fact that there is a general “negative” factor for creatures such as mosquitoes and fleas that pervades humanity, including most of, if not all of the vegan friends and acquaintances that I have, which would seem to be inconsistent with compassionate views. I think everyone is always working on consistently practicing and spreading that spectrum of compassion to all of life, as it can tend to be limited to chosen ones (speciesism) to the exclusion of others, sometimes including other fellow humans.

I was on a mission to find more about flea symbolism, aside from the more obvious things and messages (most of them having a negative twinge) I have known and what one could surmise about them showing up. I wanted to see what dots I could connect and reflections I could learn from and integrate.

So, I did start researching and this is what I was led to discover. shares Flea Wisdom to include:

Metamorphosis, ability to alter time within the life cycle, sensitivity to light, ability to trigger a birth process by the use of light, vibration or the various components of air.

Interesting, as yes definitely a very large “metamorphosis” feels at hand for me, which is like a rebirthing that is about a new vibrational alignment I feel to be activating. Time to turn over a whole new leaf (there sure seem to be a lot of them in my life LOL) and a new lifestyle, which IS actually in the works as we speak too. And this has all been altering “time” and dimensions in my experience.

Okay. These were also in a “positive” light, which was what I was looking for. What else might I find?

Well, of course there’s what I knew – that they also symbolize irritations and aggravations, which will increase until you make the necessary changes.

Okay. That doesn’t have to be seen as “negative” however, as in fact this is a positive nudge to assist in taking those steps, making a choice, and moving forward.

For me those steps increase over time and are never small. Now, is one of those “huge steps” time period that my soul existence depends upon.

I could see this playing out, as I’ve been inundated with so much that I’ve had a postponement on things I was creating…and had just told myself on my trip in Alaska, and after it, that that was it. Time to do it no matter what is around in life to handle, as I really won’t thrive or be fulfilling my purpose until I up my personal creative output to a much higher level. I’m not a baby-stepper, so leaping I knew was in store.

Flea friends were literally leaping around mirroring my conclusions.

Then I found the more “negative” information about fleas symbolizing needing to clear and clean out everything, including self, aura, energy, as these “blood suckers” are about something or someone living off or sucking your life force energy or blood – energetic vampires, as some information shares. This can mean energy vampires sucking from you because you give away your energy to easily, or your own dependent vampirism that is taking energy from others you care about without even realizing it – both resulting in unhealthy and imbalanced relationships with others.

Well, that could be the case for some people, although let’s look at it in a positive light again and that it simply would mean to nurture yourself, your needs, and know and stand by your boundaries. Letting others be responsible for themselves and you take responsibility of you. Fortify yourself inside and out and pay attention to how you give in to victimization, take on the martyr role, or forego your desires and dreams to support others that either don’t want the help, or you’d be far better off helping by helping yourself. It also speaks to simplifying your life, getting rid of things completely rather than fixing or cleaning them up, and re-evaluating things so that you are vibrating from your authenticity. This could be fears and self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back and sucking you dry of having the ability to freely be you and looking after yourself.

Boundaries are something I’ve definitely been on a life-long mission to create, as that has been a toughy for this Pisces. Definitely can see some small tweaking still in order there, but nothing large in way of anyone sucking from me, nor me of them. I am, however, in process of “cleaning out” and simplifying on a daily basis though. So a good reflection I’m on path here and to continue the momentum.

Dependency, accumulative damage, running away from problems, hurting the ones you love, and sensitivity to your environment are included in some of the flea symbolism. They can also come into your life to remind you to look after yourself and your environment with extreme vigilance.

Fleas have multiple stages of metamorphosis and so that would indicate also the many shifts and transformations you will go through in your life, as life is about change and growth. – Yep, that’s me.

They also have a sense organ on their bodies that is very sensitive to vibration and air currents, so for me that indicates this increased subtle vibrational frequency I’m detecting as well.

Fleas need darkness and so they speak to sensitives of light, or are heralding a period of personal retreat, taking stock of your life, sensitivity to your environment, and feeling overwhelmed with over-stimulation. So time in seclusion may be very healing for you, as a result.

Well, interestingly, I will be entering a #9/Hermit year come my next birthday in February and I’ve been feeling the effects of that early, as I always do, so this makes sense. I’m feeling that incubation time for personal retreat to work on things important to ME. And, there is that increased over-stimulation and sensitivity to things around me that feel very misaligned and foreign to my natural state. All I crave is the stillness of harmony I feel within when I’m in alignment with my personal frequency.

They can also represent accumulative damage, which means that if you don’t handle the small things, they can turn into large things later. So heed the warnings and address what is coming up so they don’t get to a state of feeling completely out of control.

What I noticed is that Fleas sure do run and squirm away lightning fast! And this seems to speak to potentially you running away from your problems/challenges or that you need to remove yourself quickly from potentially damaging situations, like now! No delaying.

I do feel an increased “now” kick in the butt that feels an impending need to act upon, but nothing to run away from or that I am running away from…more, for me, it’s about running to the next aspect of myself and quickly!

Then there’s “blood wisdom” that Fleas hold, which includes memories and secrets of ancestry, knowledge, wisdom, and energy held within it. Interesting, as I’ve been delving into cosmic soul ancestry – Earth and Beyond – and activating latent parts of myself and DNA – all part of the new I’ve been focused on.

Let’s see what else shows up as I explore….

Well, I love this info about shadow aspects that I discovered, which I was specifically tuning into wanting to receive, as I know that Fleas definitely represent shadow totems for people since I don’t believe many would admit to “liking” them since they feel threatening to us and/or our animal companions. Perhaps this is because they remind us of our vulnerability and the ability to attract something unwanted that feels threatening, despite our vigilance.

But does that mean to stop living fully or to stop doing things you want because there is the potential of an unforeseen “danger”? No, of course not.

Wise discernment and conscious awareness to make intuitively guided choices is imperative, but to live a life in neurotic fear would simply mean not living in general. You can’t worry about every possible little thing that can happen, but you CAN see how to choose more wisely and that everything that does happen is not a “bad” thing. Everything is a growth opportunity and there is always something of value to take away.

If you find yourself “hating” something, like Fleas, perhaps you have a feeling of severe resentment and hatred towards people around you that are abusive in some form to you and/or others. However, having that kind of unhealthy hatred is a call out for deeper understanding and love.

The shadow within anything is representative of the things we fear and are our greatest teachers to confront and integrate. Hence, they challenge us into our greatness by teaching us the things we run away from wanting to learn and know about ourselves. Shadow totems are cryptic, but valuable teachers that are worthy of our developing a new relationship with. Rather than swatting away annoying insects, ask them what they have to share and then be still and listen. And try to avoid the expectations of “fast” results when working with these shadow totems, as the shadow parts of ourselves can sometimes require a consistent fortitude of effort to work with and process, but the results are worthy of the effort.

I watched on as the fleas have taken their sweet time to leave from little Joy, and with each passing day I’ve continued to ponder their message and while felt sad for little Joy to go through this, I also thought to myself, “how brave and ever-loving she is to accept this experience to help mom, along with whatever she personally was learning as well.”

Fleas are not maliciously out to get you. They simply have survival instincts themselves and are searching for the comfort of a warm and resonant home. So if they nestle into you or your animal companions, there is a strangely ironic reason, which involves the shadow parts of you seeking your comforting and warm embrace so that you can become a more empowered being.

But insects, especially Fleas, are of strong fortitude and are survivalists that easily adapt to change, so when you are going through transitions in your life (as I am), they are truly remarkable examples of what is available to each of us.

I love the powerful messages of Flea found in this short article from Paradise Found, titled “Power Animal for January 2012: Flea, by ‘Backyard Shaman’ Amy Katz, M.A.” :

The mighty flea…not Tiger, or Elephant or Whale, but Flea! Fleas are minuscule from where we are standing, so they may seem as inconsequential as stars flickering dimly in the night sky. Yet, this diminution comes from the perspective of an onlooker standing billion of miles, or light years, away: up close, stars become suns, those gargantuan infernos of explosive energy. Likewise, a flea is a powerhouse of life force and glowing determination.

The soul of a flea burns as brightly as a sun, but the little ones have the advantage of quick mobility (they can jump up to 200 times their body weight) and even invisibility, as their 1/16-1/8 inch small bodies are often undetectable to far-sighted predators. In Plato’s Apology, Socrates compared himself to a flea that buzzed in the ears of Athenians to prompt them out of their complacency and stand up for justice and truth. In Asian folklore, there are tales of monkeys that shape shift into the form of fleas to escape from demons or to elude detection. Flea teeth are as sharp as Chinese throwing stars; these tiny ninjas also have compressible bodies that make them “smush” and “scratch” resistant. Flea shows those of us who have felt victimized or powerless that we really do have tremendous influence, agility, self-preservation and protection abilities.

Flea reminds us of our resilience. The harsh criticism of others may scratch away at our self-esteem, but nothing can crush our spirits if we define ourselves from within. By seeing how big we are inside, instead of focusing on small-minded insults or transgressions from without, we harness our inner strength and can fly even without wings.

Cultivate your psychological faith and the door to your imagination will be open. Trust yourself and do not underestimate your own ability to bring about change or action. In the play Prometheus Bound by the Greek tragedian Aeschylus, the Goddess Hera changed the maiden Io into a cow for having an affair with her husband, Zeus, and then sent a gadfly to drive the creature all across the world. What issue or problem needs to be driven out of your psyche, your life, or your community this year? While others may swat at you, consider how your tenacious buzzing can move a whole stubborn herd of cattle; embody the mighty Flea!

These messages of Flea that Amy shares, speak most clearly and powerfully to me, personally, right now. I do intend to embody the “mighty” Flea.

If any animal spirit guide is contacting you, they themselves will be your own personal teacher and will speak to you directly as to what the message is. All of these things are merely helpful explorative ways to engage that process with yourself for greater personal understanding. 

Where There is Sadness There is New Promise

sadnessMuch of the time we judge emotions as good and bad and we feel that it’s wrong, unenlightened, or unevolved of us to have certain feelings that have been deemed as “less than”.

Feelings are there to be expressed, to move through us freely like the natural cycles and rhythms of life and nature all around us.

When feelings arise, it’s simply the divine journey of experience that, when embraced and allowed, returns us to who we really are.

Thank you Dawn for sharing this quote with from Matt. I hope it helps others to be more gentle with themselves and release the judgments, self-defeating thoughts, and punishment that do not serve the nature of you.

If you find yourself in sadness today, realize that you are journeying through a cycle of change that holds the promise of a new dawn.

Change is Your Friend Disguised in Fear’s Clothing

changeI am returning this week from what was quite an amazing weekend shared at our Reiki Renewal Retreat this weekend in Laguna Beach, California, so I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things here, which includes integrating some pretty major energy shifts experienced.

I’ll be sharing about our beautiful weekend in an upcoming feature story blog, but for now I feel guided to touch on change, once again, being that not only am I in process of this, but the new Reiki Master Teachers from our weekend are as well, and it feels very prevalent collectively too.

It’s not that change isn’t always happening, as indeed it is in every way, but there are currents of perhaps more intensified and rather dramatic shifts that flow in, like now.

We talked about a lot of things over this last weekend and some of it included the experiences of embracing, integrating, and recalibrating change, and how we can assist this process with greater ease, grace, personal commitment and responsibility, as well as compassionate understanding.

Change can be uncomfortable at first, which is why most people shy away from it, as it seems too overwhelming. It can herald a period of “healing crisis” where all of the “icky” stuff comes to the surface and is felt with increased sensitivity, as it is in process of cleansing out.

Yet what most people don’t realize is that it’s simply the temporary growing pains of new expansion your soul is entertaining courageously – a lot of which is a result of illusion created from conditioned beliefs, that if simply embraced with open breath and heart, would integrate with grace and ease into a whole new landscape of possibilities awaiting…. possibilities that don’t exist and never will, if we allow the fears to define us, rather than our breath to expand us.

I immediately had the opportunity to put my own “change embracing” to the test, once I set foot back into the world after the “other-world” bubble we were sharing in over the weekend. I could feel the huge expansion that was happening with me and that became physically evident when I blew out my cell phone late Saturday afternoon.

I went to take off the charger connection to it, so I could take my cell to the beach, but as I reached for the connector to pull it out, my fingers literally were on fire, burning, and I then smelled that fire singe when something is frying. I immediately let out a squeal from the burning sensation and dropped the connector. I picked it up again, by the chord, and saw it was blackened at the end and melted a bit. The area where it connects on my cell phone also was. The outlet was fine. The area of the chord that plugs in was fine.

That was the first blow out and I just embraced it as part of the shifting taking place, as I know how normal blowing out electronics can be when your energy is expanding and raising, and you are going through an upgrade. I’ve blown out other cell phones and my computers this way and also when my energy gets heightened by something.

So Monday, after the retreat I designated part of the day to getting a new cell phone, but after visiting the bank first. And as soon as I put my card and deposit in and touched the screen, the ATM machine went all weird and then spit out some error message after the thinking wheels were turning for a while, trying to process it (the energy), then immediately went out, holding my ATM card and money hostage. 🙂

It took me a while to have them correct things and get my card back. And I did have to return yesterday, as the deposit correction hadn’t worked either. So there was a patient process of dealing with the turn of events in my energetic field.

After the ATM fiasco, I visited the ATT store with my mom and Lynne – my sweet friend and one of the retreat guests. I think we gave the ATT staff an experience they’ll be talking about for a while to come, as we were like ET’s landing on Earth from another dimension and were pulling out pendulums and had this energy emanating that was quite a contrast to the technological conversations taking place there. They kept being drawn in, but also wide-eyed and in huddled conversation when not near us.

I had no idea what I was looking at in terms of getting a new cell phone, nor did I know if we could retrieve my contact data. The cell phone was completely inaccessible and the staff said they’d never seen anything like what they saw when they looked at.

Being non-techy I am not one who backs up my data on my cell by connecting it to my computer. And I had no idea if the “ON” button was on, that automatically does iCloud storage backup. But I did assess by going online that indeed my iCloud had everything backed up automatically and was completely up to date. Thank you Universe for always watching my back. 🙂

So, I had the option of either upgrading to the newest iPhone from my 4S iPhone, or I could choose a completely new cell altogether. Not being wed to any company or type of electronics, I was completely ambivalent. However, I started seeing this, as I always do, as much more than merely a cell phone upgrade choice.

The cell phone represented me and my vehicle of communication, as well as my ability to connect worldwide with others, and share. This choice of upgrade felt like that opportunity I had available and varying options/ways to go about it.

Jose and I discuss Galaxy Note 3I had actually been very curious about the Android Galaxy (of course being drawn to the name and how that really suits me) and had been feeling it in my field for the last several months even though I’ve had two iPhones back to back. Well, actually 3, but the first didn’t last long due to “technical difficulties”.

But I could feel my hesitancy (the same we all feel when faced with something different to handle), when faced with this bombardment of unclear and unknown factors, and the potential for the time and energy put in to get things up and running.

So, I really wanted to step back and review all the angles, possibilities, and explore the information provided, so I could make the most fitting wise discernment of choice that truly reflected the natural and real me – not the stressed me that was having temporary infiltration from something outside of my personal frequency. (LOL!! ok, right now as I wrote this, something I had on pause on my computer since this morning decided to just unpause right as I am making this declaration, with very dramatic, expansive music!)

We ended up being in the store for about 3 hours total that day and were passed along to 3 different people in the process, ending with Jose, who was really patient with us and giggled along the way, entertaining our unique way of exploring the options.

I asked if I’d be able to switch my contacts easily to the Galaxy and they got their tech guy out who was sharing how difficult it would be, but yes, possible. I asked if they would help me with my email synching, as it has been challenging because I have them through a hosting company, which has different ways of setting up the incoming and outgoing details needed. They said they’d do their best and try to look it up and help me.

I have to admit, I was stressed about the contact thing. At first, thinking that I had lost them, but I quickly released that saying “what a clean slate I will have and I’ll just contact the people I’m meant to be in connection with.” Then I was stressed about the whole process, on top of the pile up of work I had right now to do.

I was also feeling stress about the email connection, as I know how challenging it was before and I had to spend time on the phone because the store couldn’t do it once. The second time they had.

So, this was part of the things to weigh, along with the newness of a whole new “galaxy” of learning with the new system.

In the end, I DID choose the Galaxy Note 3, which was completely a new change all around for me. But it wasn’t without facing some tough and anxiety producing situations along the way. All three of our pendulums – mom’s, Lynne’s, and my own, despite any of the challenges presented, were all pointing to the Galaxy.

Jose and the other 2, including manager, all expressed how much they liked the Galaxy, but that it is definitely a huge learning curve for an iPhone user, and I could tell without them saying it, that they felt women were even more challenged with switching and tended to like iPhones more.

They shared that 90% of iPhone users who try the Galaxy, return it within the 14-day trial window you have.

When asked why this is, they said, that it simply was too challenging for them to learn a new system, when they were already used to the one they had.


I asked Jose if I could have a moment to process things and I instantly connected with my first thought I had said out loud from the get-go, that although there would potentially be challenges to overcome at first, that it was of benefit to embrace the big change , as it would produce greater return.

I just knew this was the right truth for me and it no longer made sense as to why I would go to the iPhone, when I’m truly wanting to embrace the change and this new upgrade in my life. I’m a person who likes to be consistent with everything I do and I see how every choice I make is symbolically connected to how I am stating to the Universe that I would like to proceed in my life. Each choice is not only providing me the guidance in what gets brought up in the process, but also the training in how to assimilate all new things across the board

While it would have been an upgraded iPhone and still some things to learn, it wasn’t the kind of change (big) that I wanted, nor knew would be best for me and where I’m headed, which entailed something completely unfamiliar in every way where I only had trust in my pocket to guide me, rather than a safety net of remnants of old comforting things to fall back on.

I could see how that 90% of people they mentioned going back to the iPhone, was significant in how many people really do fear change, in general, and would rather have things easier, even if that meant not challenging themselves into potentially exponential new experiences and adventures that they could benefit from if only they could trust and embrace each step of the journey.

I could understand why that is, as I had to face those stressful “ideas”, which in fact they really were just conditioned, old ideas, fears, and ultimately – illusions.

Jose tried to connect my email after quite the effort, and even going online to look up how to do it, but to no avail he could not. So, I just decided to embrace that as long as I had a cell phone, I’d take it a day at a time and just slowly get things operational, even if that meant making long tech support calls.

However, none of this came to be. The initial “perceived” anxieties proved to not only be illusions and false, but proved to provide me extra value when I decided to listen to my heart guidance instead, despite everything else trying to steer me elsewhere.

Jose and I as I get ready to take Galaxy Note3 home

Me happy with my Galaxy Note3 choice with Jose who assisted

My embracing the change with trust and ultimately, excitement, proved a gift. I was able to find different information online that Jose hadn’t, and set up my email easily and quickly. 🙂 I also went online and easily found information on how to transfer my contacts from one system to another, which proved different than the info their tech guy had told me and easily and quickly had all my contacts in my new phone.

All of this was perfect, as I was supposed to hear the challenging info in order to really make it that much more powerful of a choice I made to embrace the change.

And in the process, I’ve discovered that I actually do like this system and cell phone better and there are tons of cool things I can do and explore, as I have time, that I couldn’t do before. It’s a daily learning curve, but that’s part of my commitment to growth.

I feel that Jose and the gang at ATT are anticipating my return to the store before the 14-day trial period. I had the thought to wait until day 15 and then stop in to say hi and how much I’m enjoying my new cell phone. 😉

I can definitely see the reflection of this experience, in how it relates to my new changes and the direction I’m heading in, the way I believe in approaching life, and how I desire to walk in the action of those beliefs.

Many see change as the enemy, but until you make it your friend and valued ally, you won’t experience the graceful way it can bestow gifts in your life. Transformation is a force for real growth and real growth can sometimes mean pain or discomfort, though can be experienced with the understanding of its natural cycle.

Think of nature and its cycles. Nature doesn’t question the onset of fall when leaves and blossoms disappear, and then everything goes into a winterland slumber. It also doesn’t judge springtime blooming as any better than the harvesting of fall, or the reflective time winter can herald, reminding us that all we need is within and there we find the tools that can see us through any environmental experience.

Without the interim of pain or challenge, you would not feel alive and there would also be no aliveness of joy, nor a butterfly birthed from the caterpillar.

It is when we block, stop, or judge the change set in motion, that we experience increased and unnaturally prolonged discomforts, which in essence are merely lovingly trying to get your attention because, guess what?

You love yourself more than you allow yourself to realize and the knowing part of you will always act in your best interest to support you into remembering who you really are.

While the mind and spirit find more ease in understanding why things happen, the old ways of our emotions have not the luxury of such logic. Our hearts are transforming into higher heart experiences that can feel unconditionally. Yet, human emotions take time to make sense of it all and should be given the honor of their natural unfolding to do so, free of judgment that binds us to our suffering. And judge not judgment, as it is an opportunity for allowance. We have the power to choose our way of experiencing and in taking ownership of our suffering, we are led to harmony, balance, and joy.

Human “Being” is a state of experience that is ever complex with duality, but was also meant to be a gift of harmonious union between physical and spiritual, which allows us the ability to experience and create in amazing ways. We as humans are gifted the opportunity of unlimited expansiveness and by design are extremely sophisticated, refined, and highly developed consciousness potentials waiting to blossom. And this IS your time to blossom.

Yet, for a long time we have chosen only to live a fraction of that potential, unaware of what lies just on the other side of that wall we either hid behind or straddled.

What is the fear? Perhaps it is a fear of the promise of joy and what that could mean. And likely it is also the fear of responsibility in coming fully into your power and what that empowerment can mean for your life and all of the people you come in contact with. This fear is a powerful thing that when chosen, surrenders your power to choose, as it can take over your life like a dis-ease.

We fear our own humanness, the very thing that is so beautifully powerful, and what it would do if unleashed. Fear creates the separation and hinders your ability to see other perspectives that could instantly disintegrate it. Our true hearts will never steer us wrong and reality can transform miraculously if we live in, and choose from, them always. We then come to understand the limitless choices of experience and continuity of life, beyond duality that lives with us from this state of being.

From our fragmented perspective, we fear death and endings as permanent and final. Like a door brutally slammed on our hearts, just as we were learning to open them. The secret here is that while a closed door might, in the realm of conditioned thought, mean the end to something and a desire to give up and never try again, the opposite is also true and might simply mean that a circle of life has completed a revolution and is about to pick up momentum for the next more expansive spiral of experience.

The choice is yours.

Every pain has both the ability to sour us for life, or to sweeten the journey. The deeper we allow ourselves to explore the realms of watery abyss, the more beautifully we learn to swim with the grace and flow of our cetacean friends, through the turning tides of life.

Every coin has two sides and these two sides are part of the same coin. Yin and Yang are complete opposites, yet are integral to Oneness. One creates the possibility for the other and therefore, is not a separate experience, nor cancels the other out. Together, they are grace in perfection; a feeling without words that is the expansive totality of consciousness “being” the essence of unconditional love.

We can learn to move in and out of each with grace, understanding from a third perspective that observes with conscious awareness, responsible commitment, and unconditionally loving compassion.

Therefore, to know your pain is to know your joy. And in order to truly know the depths of joy, sometimes you will choose to walk in the shoes of pain, until the experience becomes a perfect fusion. The beauty is that the length of each season is determined solely by the perspective you embrace, until the season integrates into one cycle.

Loss can be challenging, especially when someone is in your heart so deeply or you’ve become conditionally comfortable where you are. However life is not about plateauing to some never-to-change-again experience. We are constantly evolving and learning more about our nature of personal reality. That entails new horizons to adventure into, as well as new and exciting hurdles to walk or leap through.

In time, we can grow from the experiences and create new processes of how to move with greater ease and grace through life by embracing our new perspectives. It’s not that you rid yourself of ever having to experience challenge, but you learn to move through them more naturally and start implementing more efficient processes so that you no longer consciously see things as a problem or difficult. You simply move through them like Nature does her cycles, without blocking the flow with your getting stuck.

When we try to hold on to something or someone, all we do is hurt ourselves and stop the promise of new seeds to blossom. There is a web of life and magically supportive gifts within each experience for our perspectives to embrace. And within shifting perspectives, the opportunity for powerful soul growth.

It’s like that moment a butterfly emerges from the cocoon, discovering its chrysalis form has taken flight. It does not mourn the loss of its caterpillar self, but embraces the joy of this new and expansive creation it has become. Not a death; merely a transformation. A simple change of perspective.

Some words to reflect on:

Responsibility is a grace you give yourself not an obligation. ~Dan Millman

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings. ~Rumi

One act of surrender, one change of heart, one leap of faith, can change your life forever. ~Robert Holden

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. ~Alan Watts

The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That’s all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it’s something you allow. ~Will Garcia

Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world. The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same. Every wonderful sight will vanish, every sweet word will fade. But do not be disheartened. The source they come from is eternal, growing, branching out, giving new life and new joy. Why do you weep? The source is within you and this whole world is springing up from it. ~Rumi

Change Is Your Friend


Life Renewed by Tania Marie (1998)

A quick little inspirational post I felt nudged to repost here, since not everyone is on Facebook.

Many see change as the enemy, but until you make it your friend and valued ally, you won’t experience the graceful way it can bestow gifts in your life. Transformation is a force for real growth and real growth can sometimes mean pain or discomfort, though can be experienced with the understanding of its natural cycle.

Without this interim of pain you would not feel alive and there would also be no aliveness of joy, nor a butterfly birthed from the caterpillar.

It is when we block, stop, or judge the change set in motion, that we experience increased and unnaturally prolonged discomforts, which in essence are merely lovingly trying to get your attention because, guess what?

You love yourself more than you allow yourself to realize and the knowing part of you will always act in your best interest to support you into remembering who you really are.

Surrounded by Serenity & Reflection: The Essence of a New Year Embodied in My First Day of 2013

First day of 2013

Gorgeous vista on the Bighorn Mine Trail

I always like to follow my own traditions and create new ways for celebrating that resonate with me. This year was no exception and having already felt like I had fully celebrated my idea of Christmas and the New Year while in Bimini just days before the holidays, I was feeling quite complete and ready to start integrating some of my inner journey that will hit come my birthday this year on February 26th, as I enter a #7 personal year in numerology.

I’ve consistently found that I am a couple months ahead in starting to integrate and process the next year’s energy right before it actually hits, always experiencing literal shifts that start to trickle in, as I put to closure the previous year’s energy.

Me on the Bighorn Mine Trail

For me, the trip in Bimini was closure to many things, as well as the beginning of a new journey. I foresee the promise of much beauty for all, as we enter a new cycle of our collective journey.

Violet energy surrounding a light orb

Moving into a 7 personal year promises to bring more deep reflection, introspection, contemplation, meditation, pause, and time spent exploring life’s deeper truths and how these convey through my actions. This seems perfectly aligned with how I have been feeling after quite a full year of experiences, focused work, and an integration of Yang that brought trials and tribulations and Yin that through embracing the process and doing the work, created a sense of harmonious peace within.

Glowing light orb as it moves from the violet

#7 years provide opportunity to come to a greater awareness of your full potential and to honor and understand when personal time is needed to be within one’s own experience or in quiet activities. A time for letting things come to you, realizing the power of intents and the foundations of hard work invested, so as to experience thoughts and ideas materializing now from all your efforts. Definitely it’s a time for gaining greater insight, efficiency, and powerful centeredness, to fully understand and experience the full circle of being alone, without every being or feeling lonely. In general, gaining depth of understanding, refinement of skills and talents, knowing when to withdraw or free yourself from outside responsibilities to find the balance needed for wholeness and inner peace, and a time when integrating clear thoughts are at a high. Cultivating these skills will produce valuable results.

Each birthday cycle we all enter a new personal year that carries with it the energy of the number it corresponds to numerologically, as well as do we collectively enter a new year of shared experiences at the birth of each New Year. I shared a bit about the collective #6 year we are entering in yesterday’s post on Reiki Workshops that support the energy of 2013.

As 2012 neared end, I was already feeling the shift into this more reflective mode and the need to bring in even more within time to myself or away from the outside world, so as to hone in on truly integrating and bringing fullness and depth to all that is being cultivated right now with my soul integration experience. Really honoring the need to balance the energies and what the body and soul desires to be of greatest benefit to it (being mindful of where to place focus and energy), is not only reflective of my personal 7 year I’m moving into, but is truly the way we are all moving into needing to learn to understand and honor to reach great potentials.

Of course this inner journey reflects through the type of work I will be focusing on and how that work also manifests, including the way things will come through me in the process – all really resulting in a deepening experience all around and the need to sit with the quietness in order to receive what wants to be shared and how. Definitely a tapping in to Source with greater conscious presence, as there are always unlimited ways to further our experiences. Sometimes I am able to be amidst tons of outer things and be fine, as the energy calls for that, but now there will be a weighing of what works best with the energy currents I am experiencing both inside and in mirror of the collective Earth’s energy, so reflection and recharging will become more prevalent.

Small light orb has now moved to base of left tree

Interestingly, this is the year I am feeling called to Tibet, which chimes perfectly in tune with my energy vibrations. On New Year’s day, I felt like the experience chosen to have, to honor the first of 2013, was in direct alignment with all that I’m expressing and what I am preparing for in Tibet.

Welcoming in the first day of the New Year immersing in the serenity and purity of the snow at Mt. Baden Powell was a beautiful way to kick start things. It was perfect and magickal to get away from everything in the mountains and be with the stillness that surrounded both within and without. Dave and I drove up to the San Gabriel Mountains to an area south-west of the town of Wrightwood with a packed picnic lunch of raw vegan goodies for the day and set out on a two mile trail that scaled the mountain side and then trekked another 4 miles in the snow on the Bighorn Mine Trail, perched at 7,000 feet, where we explored some old gold mines dating back to the early to mid 1890’s.

Bighorn Mine – notice sort of a rainbow energy coming from the mine shaft hole to the right

Bighorn Mile Trail: The trail starts in the Vincent Gap Parking lot, along with the Mine Gulch Trail. Soon after the start, the Mine Gulch Trail drops down into Vincent Gulch while the Bighorn Mine Trail continues around the side of Mt Baden Powell. Less than half way through the trail there is a mining tunnel on the side of the mountain, right on the trail. As you continue around the side of the mountain, eventually you will hit the main Bighorn Mine, which has mining structures and tunnels. This area is rich in history, as mining played a role in the past of the town of Wrightwood. The mine itself is closed off, however the views from this area are amazing as you peer over Mine Gulch, down toward the San Gabriel River Basin (East Fork). Like most places in the Sheep Mountain Wilderness, you can also see Pine Mountain, Dawson Peak, Mt Baldy, Iron Mountain, Blue Ridge, and Pine Mountain Ridge.

Rainbow energy inside the mine now – do you think there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow they are leading me to? Certainly felt to be elves and faeries present on this hike

The first mine is closed off with a little flow of water coming from it. The second is no longer fully closed off, as a hole has been created large enough to climb inside and so we did indeed explore the first section of it where there is also some water run off. Enter at your own risk! Getting to this area in the snow was quite a trek and with areas of very narrow trail, snow and ice, with steep drop off on one side, it definitely is one to take with great care and patience, but well worth it for the serenity, majestic views, and to visit this old mine cradled in the side of the mountain.

There was indeed a presence of energy felt on this day and in and around the second mine, which showed up in a few of the photos. (See photo captions and click on each photo to enlarge for detail). The experiences and photos really seemed to tell the energetic tale of what I feel to come and what I received in my annual New Year’s Eve tarot reading share trade 😉

The signs are clear, the support is there, the foundational work has been laid, the commitments and responsibility embraced….This trek on the Bighorn trail was very reflective of my current journey, the orbs of support met along the way, both the ease and some of the integrated challenges still to come, and the destination of the gold mine at rainbow’s end, was a beautiful message of continued trust, gratitude, and patience, for all things are coming together beautifully in the bigger picture of creation.

Always grateful for the supportive guidance and love experienced, felt, and making itself known.

On the way home we were detoured through the Mojave Desert, which lies on one side of the mountain. It was definitely the out-of-the-way longer route home, but seemed to add to the energy of patient reflection and being able to take in the desert and mountain experience.

Red orb energy with something inside it showing up next to me inside the mine looking towards the opening

Same vantage point looking towards the opening of the mine with no red orb

The day was a beautiful experience within, reminding me of my beloved Lake Tahoe home I miss and how much I love to “be” in the stillness of nature’s beauty, as well as how much I love and thrive at high altitudes. Another foreshadowing of my soul connection to Tibet and how much I enjoyed trekking in the high altitudes of Peru up to 15,000 feet and living at the glacial, crystalline, and alpine lake of Tahoe.

It was the perfect way to experience and honor the new energy of 2013 and to anchor in the integration of a new experience personally and collectively.

I hope you all spent the welcoming of 2013 in your own sacred way. ♥ It is going to be a beautiful year.

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