I wasn’t going to post a blog today, but I was so excited upon returning home to discover these welcome back gifts that I thought I’d share them so I can pass on some signs of renewal already underway. You might recall that last February, for my birthday, some surprise purple irises bloomed out of no where as a message of hope – irises I don’t remember planting there and at high mountain altitude, were an early amazement. I wondered if the same would happen this year and was sad of the potential that I might miss them, since we were away for my birthday. But the moment we pulled up to the house I caught sight of two purple beauties peeking out as you can see!
They are the very first ones, with another about to bloom. I understood that they waited just for me, continuing in the vein of birthday celebrations and also reflecting another hopeful outlook on the year ahead.
I know this past Winter has continued trying for many and there’s been a lot of challenging energies to integrate, but as Spring is just around the corner so, too, does it feel that there is promise to believe in and inspired action to put into motion.
After saying hello to my “birthday irises,” as I’m now calling them, I discovered that some of my other bulbs were also pushing through.
I shared in September how I planted 150 new tulip and daffodil bulbs and the ones I discovered upon returning home were in fact the very ones I planted this past fall! Another beautiful reflection of seeded intentions that were woven, in fact are starting to sprout. They feel to foretell of nurtured goals and dreams not only having potential, but are in fact a reality beginning to manifest – step-by-step.
Another interesting reflection came through random photos I took of myself on Friday after our last day skiing before we headed out the next day. I noticed when I took off my helmet, how the silver was really showing up all over both woven throughout and in the stripes along the front. It was even more noticeable in person, but I snapped shots anyway because my hair had a wild, witchy look to it I wanted to document for how it also felt reflective.
I didn’t realize until it was pointed out, that somehow parts of my hair showed up as vibrant teal when in fact I have no teal in my hair what so ever and there was no teal light shining on me.
Check out the left side of my hair especially in the above two photos, and then the overall aura glow on the one below that almost has a touch of violet in the teal emanating.
I did at one time have teal put into my hair for Spring two years ago, as you may also remember, but this was odd. It reminded me of those cameras that catch auras on film and it felt like the teal was being revealed as my aura color, which makes sense if you know me and my energy and that aqua/teal has always been my favorite color.
Essence reflections, perhaps?
Does it speak to the evolution and integration I underwent this past Winter into a greater embodiment of the nature of me?
Bare-faced and silver woven, I feel a great sense of peace that cannot be swayed by anything outside of me – enhanced by experiences this Winter where I learned I could navigate any terrain with calm.
I went out this morning to say hello to our land and check everyone out, as well as introduce this new addition to the Enchanted Garden Portal.
These two sweeties are another solar light decked out in succulents to match the one my parents gave to me. They are actually going to be in the garden soil itself, but I took the photo below to show how sweetly they go together.
I couldn’t resist and felt they’d be a perfect addition, home coming, and a great way to welcome Spring with a big Hoppy Ostara/Oestara!
Ironically, although it appears like Spring is on the way, we actually have a storm that is making itself known a little earlier than expected. We’ll have snow the next few days, but on and off snow flurries already just started a couple of hours ago. There is still a lot of snowy patches all around and the mountains are covered, but I’ve noticed green sprouts peeking through here and there.
Feels like we still have some incubating to do while growth is underway.
I know we’ve only just landed to our Forest Portal yesterday, but it feels oh so good. No matter the adventures and beauty we go off to enjoy, we always feel most gratitude for our home right here. Oh how we missed our tree guardians that encircle the house, the Fae of the land, our forest, Sierra Nevada mountains, and the incredible mystery jewel – Lake Tahoe – which is beyond compare for us.
The comfort of a sanctuary you’ve created in a land that you love is priceless.
The fur babies are all enjoying being back, each in their happy places. Astrid knew mom promised we’d return and while she had quite the evolution this Winter, she’s super pleased and at peace being in her royal faery realm.
What a trooper they all have been, but Astrid is truly the Rabbit Traveler Extraordinaire! I’m amazed by her, as anyone who knows rabbits would likely tell you what she accomplished through road trips alone was nothing but incredible.
We’re grateful to our friends who have sent so much loving support and good energy.
As Astrid and I entered our Wonderland room we nearly lost our breath because we’d forgotten how much we adore it. Everything has a freshness to it and feels as if the Fae sprinkled extra magick into everything while we were away, to prepare it for us as a welcome home.
To say she and I are in bliss, is an understatement.
(UPDATE: I forgot to mention that on our travels back home we saw pronghorn again and an owl flying in plain sight of daylight. The owl was in the exact area we saw her at the start of the trip so that felt potent and full circle, including how I saw on the clock every consecutive repetitive time: 1:11, 2:22, 3:33 (owl showed up right after this), 4:44 and 5:55! Also the night we returned I woke in the middle of it with tailbone aches. I haven’t had that in a while and usually it happens at very shifting times. Being that this area of the coccyx and sacrum are a portal, it seems powerful to note.)
The ever-wise Astrid joins us today for a share about wellness derived from a balance of varied experiences we invite into the dance of life with us. It’s also about how living from the source of love in your heart, opens doorways to accessing your multi-dimensionality. The result – greater feelings of wholeness and well-being.
It feels like we’re constantly receiving the same theme messages over and over, but the truth is there aren’t any really new messages or ideas – there’s simply different perspectives they come through or evoke and different, perhaps more aligned timing they speak to us.
Because of these, the present landscape feels seeded with greater potential for openings, as a vast majority of the collective continues to slow down and is faced with more contrasting experiences.
Briefly, I’m happy to report that Astrid continues doing extremely well, her toe injury from losing her full nail has been non-existent since we arrived to our location of the last nearly three weeks, and she increasingly exhibits a deepening of joyful exuberance and loving connection that have added both comic relief and socialization sweetness.
While being displaced from her normal routines and realm on this trip, as well as having more confined spaces at times, could very well have made Astrid retreat into herself, permanently revert to triggered patterns from her past, or even worse – weighed on her physical well-being – quite the opposite has taken place. I’ve already written about how she’s been opening up even more and working through core fears, but today we thought to share some sweet photos and fun little stories to accompany her transformation because after all, a picture speaks a thousand words.
The reason she feels it important to share this, is because rabbits can be an extreme example for the same things we go through because of their sensitivities.
Rather than pull back, feel depressed, or become ill, Astrid has welcomed more layers of living to be part of her experience no matter the circumstances. She exercises, plays, has conscious introspection time, rests, eats and hydrates regularly, communicates, and engages connection by choice. All of which help her to maintain wellness and support an increased level of personal evolution for her soul in rabbit body.
She’s especially become fond of yoga, stretching, and meditation time with dad during the wee hours of the morning or in the evenings by the fire while watching a movie.
When ever dad gets the yoga mat out, Astrid makes a beeline to him and plops herself down right next to him, runs around or lays on the mat on her own, stretches, or engages Boojum to invite him to play on the mat with her.
In the mornings she sits quietly with dad during meditation or gives and invites loving connection to show that she’s creating space for this healing practice and supporting him with something she enjoys too.
This is all especially endearing to see, as she used to only engage with me and now she’s truly opened to the whole family.
Then there’s super Astrid exercise time to express her exuberant joy of life and being in body. This consists of her leaping, twisting, and hopping in place (called binkies), or racing around like a flash of lightning until she’s fully released the wave of energy spontaneously moving through her. One morning she demonstrated her amazing strength and agility running laps in and out of tight corners, then raced from one end of the room and did a flying leap over the 1 1/2 foot high, 3 foot long ottoman, ending with zooming right under our female cat’s body between her back and front legs, as she was mid-walking. She had me in stitches!
And of course the multitude of ways she shows her desire to connect, communicate, engage, and love from a vulnerable space that include anything from jumping on the bed with a good morning nudge to laying next to us while we are working, relaxing, napping, or reading, or running over and nosing us with desire for snuggles and kisses.
She also engages the cats by sometimes touching noses with Boojum, or hopping at them and stopping a few inches in front of them, then hopping or circling away in hopes they’ll follow her lead. Sweet Pea and Astrid are often found a couple of feet away under a bed or table sharing space silently. The females seem to engage on an intellectual level and when Boojum’s introduced it, it’s usually only about fun. 😉
There’s times she chews her wood, pine cone and cardboard, times she takes down her cardboard house and moves it elsewhere, jumps into or onto things, sits on a chair demonstrating her bigness, times she lays with and licks her amethyst or stuffed friends, times she sits tall and still like a Buddha bunny, and times for the new hard flop into a tranced-out deep sleep. The hard flopping is different for her, but oh so good to see. When a bunny flops on her/his side it’s a sign of complete and utter vulnerable comfort and trusting surrender to feeling safe and loved. It took her a while to do this from when I first took her home and then she only softly would, but now there’s the full-on free-fall flop.
The more she engages on a variety of levels, the more possible avenues of joy she creates and the more she derives comfort in all the parts of herself and what being in body has gifted her opportunity to experience in this life. And the more she nurtures a more well-rounded approach, the greater her well-being.
I’ve found the same true for myself and people I know through friendships or work – the more we open to the variety of ways our souls have ability to express themselves because of being human, the more we create wellness by providing open channels for energy to do what it wants most to do – flow through. And even if we have a restriction in one way, as limitlessly creative beings we can find other ways to channel energy.
For instance, Astrid can’t speak like we do, but she has found many ways to express how she feels through other kinds of sounds like grunts, thumps, teeth chattering (their way of purring), or through bodily movements like giving a quick shake to her head and ears with excitement, leaping in the air, racing around with joy, nosing you to ask for something or exchange a love message, following you and laying close to share connection, sharing a rare lick to demonstrate affection, tugging at your pant leg or sock to get your attention, or jumping on the bed to welcome the morning.
But as we know, balancing our lives remains an important aspect to wellness. If we are too out-weighed in one thing of any kind, we can create underlying blocks that express as feelings of resentment, anger, blame, sadness, frustration, boredom, etc. without realizing that we are limiting our experience of life by limiting how we choose to focus all of our energy. This can also start to create tightness in our bodies or other kinds of physical discomforts or challenges simply as a reminder to move our energy in a variety of ways. And movement doesn’t just speak to physical movement, but also creating outlets to channel the different parts of ourselves and energies so they don’t become stagnant.
Astrid could easily create literal “blocks” or blockages in her sensitive digestive system if she doesn’t keep moving energy and sampling the possibilities that opening her heart to more can provide.
Rabbits demonstrate the natural energetic flow that is so vital in the way that they must always have their systems moving in order to thrive, or how they need to move in order to help push through blocks.
If she lets fear, for instance, take over energetically….she can literally become debilitated. If she doesn’t eat or exercise properly…she can experience physical shut down.
So, she’s chosen to surrender to life no matter her circumstances, and with my loving support and encouragement, continues to experience a wider range of possibilities that more authentically reflect her multi-dimensionality.
Our hearts are incredible portals to amazing things. They are the source of more than we have yet to understand and by living from these amazing portals they provide us access to a myriad of experiences that would otherwise be limited.
Astrid’s multi-dimensional experiences used to be only limited to her inner world where she traveled both as a means of escaping the pain of her circumstances before her and the only option she had given those confined circumstances.
But once love found a way to open her heart through our connection, she realized that she no longer had to protect it nor keep her parts separate…she could channel and integrate her ethereal experiences through the enjoyment of actually being in a body now also capable of sensual enjoyments only the physical can provide. And whether that be opening to the feelings she didn’t think were possible to experience, engaging in ways she was afraid to trust before, or allowing herself to surrender into the body she always preferred hovering outside of more than being in it, she discovered that multi-dimensionality meant being able to have well-rounded experiences on every plane of existence.
I’m convinced that Astrid wouldn’t have made it much longer if we hadn’t met. As strong as she was, eventually the separate life she lived, in not being able to express her soul fully through her body, would have created a full detachment at some point. She was a butterfly living inside a glass container. Now she’s able to stretch those wings and access more layers of experience.
And this is what she wants to express to each of us.
We all have potentials of expressions beyond however we feel limited in the moment. By the nature of our being multi-dimensional, we have a multitude of ways to bring through our energy and the more we surrender to possibilities, the more possibilities we create. The more we open our hearts, the more the doorways of multi-dimensionality find an access point to weave through greater experiences of fulfillment.
Astrid, as a rabbit, may have needed someone to hold that space for her, but we as humans have greater possibilities that can come through other (any encounter, partnership, companion, friend, family member, loved one, teacher, or mentor) in the same way, or through ourselves holding that space for our inner child and essence.
But like Astrid, the more ways you move energy through you by opening to and engaging a variety of experiences, the greater balance and well being you will create because this mirrors your multi-dimensional essence, which is part of what we’re activating more of collectively. The smaller we play and the more limited place we play from, the more we separate rather than unite who we really are.
We each have layers to who we are. And these layers brought forth invite more to the table, individually and collectively.
Like Astrid is the loving, the playful, the wise, and the amazing – so too are you the loving, the playful, the wise, and the amazing you.
To say I adore my soul companion in rabbit body, Astrid, is an understatement and the depth of that love is far more than snuggly sweetness we share between us (although that definitely is a big part of it). It includes how much I admire and am inspired by her agile spirit, strong heart, and wise instincts. I also love her humor and childlike innocence she so exuberantly and unabashedly displays, while the next moment standing in the unwavering power of her benevolent queen’s essence. She is so in tune with her body and feelings, and together we are like a finely tuned piano of black and white keys working in harmony. But that is something that doesn’t just happen overnight. It comes with committed patience, open-hearted presence, and willingness to be open to seeing each other as equals.
I’ve written quite a bit about animal communication, the importance of communicating everything with them, how we can share harmonious relationships with our animal companions, and in fact how important it is to keep deepening into the vortex of your heart so that possibilities in this realm will become the new norm. One of these shares was about how Astrid and our niece opened the communication channels, which you can read here: Animals Understand
And it’s just such clear communication channels between the two of us that assist during times of change.
I’ve been so very proud of this sweet, strong soul who has been fully back to having 100% free roam during our travel time away. The first week was a trial run of part-time closure within her giant, mobile pen the size of two and a half pens put together only while we were out during the day for a few hours and sleeping at night. This was for potential safety and damage control in foreign new spaces.
But after having a check-in and long conversation with her where she expressed her frustrations to me, I knew it was time to leave the door permanently open and this has continued since – she’s on three weeks of open pen and full free roam at all times.
We agreed on trust guiding things and with the freedom she would know that I honored her word and soul needs, which in turn she would reciprocate. And we’ve both kept our word.
Astrid’s soul is SO big and advanced, to contain her in more than just her physical body alone is spirit crushing – both to her and me. So it’s been back to full freedom always and that makes a happy queen and mom. She still uses her pen for the majority of the day and everything in it as her safe space and personal realm.
She’s shifted from guarding it all quite diligently from cat spies and robbers to relaxing into a new ease, while coming and going as she desires.
It’s been super interesting to watch both her old and new behaviors emerge, which have evolved to suit her temporary home life and reflect her transformation process. So far I’ve witnessed her behaviors change based on triggers from having an enclosed space, the different homes we’ve been in, the layout and space of the home, how she feels in it, the way the cats are behaving, and how she’s embracing being the traveling rabbit for the period of time I’ve told her we’ll be gone.
She’s gone from frustrated to empowered and joyful – from unsure to secure and confident.
She went from also knocking down her cardboard cabin, chewing on her mats and pen (even when it was open), tipping over hay bins and snack bowls, and being afraid someone would steal her treats, to complete peace, her usual tidy ways like back at home, and sense of security even if the cats lurk around.
The more we communicate and the more I demonstrate my trust in her, stand behind my word of never ever leaving her side, and literally holding her hand throughout every new transition of every single moment, the more she relaxes into even greater embodied empowerment.
One of the entertaining (although equally frustrating to me) behaviors she displayed was in the first home of three weeks we were in, where she became much more territorial. This was her way of asserting the need to honor her feelings while she traversed through the changes she was going through and learning how to process the new. This made her charge at or chase any cat that infringed on her realm. She was even temporarily back to charging when you put food in front of her (an old shelter response) until assured with pets and snuggles.
I especially got a giggle out of her stealth attack on our male cat Boojum. She would lay low in her cardboard cabin calmly with her amethyst, and if Boojum tried to pass (he’s known to steal her hay and water) she lunged at him with full speed and grunt, sending him on his way. She would then immediately and quickly retract back inside. This fast stealth strike and equally fast retreat back into oblivion had us calling her a little moray eel. 😉
She would also lay directly across the front of her small hay bin that is the bounty both cats will sneakily try to get, and basically like Gandalf from Lord of the Rings declared, “You shall not pass!”
There was never any violence or fight that ensued. She just asserted her boundaries and I LOVE that about her.
The cats know to back off because Queen Astrid is quite a force to reckon with energetically. You wouldn’t think so looking at her sweet silver butterfly kissed lips and twinkle toes, but she’s learned to be comfortable in her power of both strength and softness. She’s the Rabbit Queen, afterall!
In our first place she had morning moments of binkies and running laps with me in the master bedroom, but mostly processed how to integrate the new with staying in the main living area with us and asking dad for lots of extra snuggle time while he did his stretches on the floor. I loved how she looked to both of us (mom AND dad energies) for encouragement and love, as ingredients to the new she was deciding how to integrate.
And this behavior continued on the first leg of our journey until we got to our second landing spot.
With four weeks and already three of the seven road trips under her wings, she came to a steady and more anchored place of softened confidence, encouraged by her parents. And it is in this last week where even more of her exuberant and explorative inner child also made many more appearances again. She’s had a blast exploring the entire home from the get-go and not one night did she spend contained in her pen. It was only put up to create the feeling of her having her very own, safe realm within the new space, but it was left wide open all day and night long.
It’s a very nice space where she has a beautiful winter scape view.
She’s actually evolved into being the happiest I’ve seen her, the most social ever with everyone – not just me, the most self-assured and content, and super communicative, responsive, and interactive. She literally fills the space of the room, but in a sweet way that evokes a smile and invites you to play.
She doesn’t feel the need to own the room, but shares it with everyone and really has taken her spot as a bridge for the whole family.
There’s times we’ll come downstairs to find her sitting tall on the center round ottoman like the benevolent queen who is excited for the fun to begin and to let down her hair.
And in the evenings when we watch movies, she’ll move between laying like a bunny loaf in front of us on that ottoman, joining dad in his stretching exercises, and then jumping on and in between us on the couch, laying there awaiting pets and enjoying snuggle time.
There’ll of course be a few hops, zoomies, and teases, as she invites everyone to add play to our peaceful evenings.
You can tell by the last several photos where her favorite spot is right in the middle of all of the action and smack center of the energy in the room. It’s so endearing to see her in her essence and element and even Dave has remarked how she’s really blossomed in this new space and surprised him with how not only well she’s doing, but how she’s let out her personality even more.
It has been so fun to watch her surrender into her childlike self as she runs, jumps, binkies, and leaps with joy. The more guarded, old parts of her have relaxed again back to how she is at home, but also in a newly empowered way.
She’s jumped on every surface possible – couches, ottomans, wide adobe window sills – and had no problem running up and down the wooden stairs to the second floor so that she could explore there and also come thump by my side of the bed to tell me she’s ready for morning and morning snacks to begin!
She would run upstairs in the evenings while I’m working and tug on the comforter or the velcro attachment of my computer cord to let me know it’s dinner time.
She’s even followed me around at my feet, excitedly been coming when ever we call her name, and has been craving dad’s attention too, enjoying her teasing games with him for snuggles and carrots.
And during the day she securely rested in her cardboard cabin or sprawled out on the mat in her pen, awaiting us to return home.
She’s been finding her balance and like the collective, is mirroring how to revisit the old patterned, painful memories of her past, but realize that the now is nothing like that. So while she’s had trigger reminders of being locked up, abandoned, and badly handled come up through the experience of major change on her traveling adventure, she’s been able to revisit it safely and quickly with our loving and nurturing help, so that she can move through and beyond those old behaviors at even greater depths of clearing.
She’s realizing, through our communications and demonstrations of honor and trust for who she is – being seen and fully supported – that the old doesn’t have to define her anymore. She’s learning that it’s okay to demonstrate vulnerable frustration and have feelings come up, but she’s also realizing that they are in fact only based on what “used to be” and what “is” is something entirely different.
She understands our trust in her and she trusts that we will always be here for her.
She’s being supported into her authentic self and loved every step of the way. We don’t judge her for her actions while she processes the feelings and needs she has to draw lines. We honor her need for alone time and give her plenty of nurturing when she needs encouragement.
And she’s understanding that boundaries are healthy, but can also be bridges of understanding rather than violent separations.
In the latest new home she hasn’t had to be territorial in the same stealth way. She’s softened into a more direct line of communication because of being more at home with her feelings. She simply stands her ground with solid and sweet confidence and I’ve now found her sitting not far apart from both of the cats at any given time. In fact, they’ll all be huddled in a triangle of sorts, leaving you wondering what’s being plotted amongst them.
She’s coming into a new sense of how it is to be both soft and strong when in embodied empowerment.
There’s a whole new programming she’s undergoing within this experience, much like me and how I’m reprogramming my relationship to the old fears surrounding height edges and skiing that has more profound effects on a wide range of things beyond what meets the eye.
Never are our experiences isolated to self alone.
We’re both learning how to move through and transmute these primal patterns so that a new experience can be possible.
And this in fact also reflects what I feel the collective is moving through and rebooting as well – something I’ll likely share a little more reflections about in an upcoming post.
Astrid wanted me to remind you that her Ask Astrid Fridays are also open to any of you who might have questions for her.
Do you have something you’d like to ask Astrid?
If so, please send them along either in the comments below, or through the contact form and we’ll try to get some of them up in future posts.