Little by little I’m seeing that people are coming to understand that there’s more to creating change than simply being “positive” and reciting affirmations, which is so refreshing. And so it seems that another round of inner reflection about your emotional landscape is coming up as an important topic again to reflect on, as you are working with integrating the deep roots of your experience.
I’ve written a lot on this subject including this August post:
So I smiled when I read this short MindBodyGreen article, a few days ago, by Aimee Dufresne:
In it, Aimee shares a few of her own simple hints and good places to start, to help you to “get real”.
As she puts it, just being positive is:
….”like trying to fit into the cutest pair of shoes that you want so badly but the only size available is a half size smaller than your feet. So you push and prod and tell yourself you can do it. You can bend your big toe and walk at an odd angle. Maybe the shoes will stretch if you wear them long enough. That chaffing isn’t so bad, is it?
Yes, it is. The further you push and force yourself into something that doesn’t fit, the more struggle and angst you will feel.”
So, if you have found yourself doing some of the spiritual bypassing, “fluffiness”, or denial with your emotions, where you “fake” a reality of feeling, crack a smile, and simply affirm otherwise, then you may want to check the links out and revisit your natural feelings in a deeper, holistic way.
Have you ever punished yourself or felt ashamed and “less than” because of feeling angry, sad, disappointed, hurt, or judgmental? My guess is that I’d be close to accurate in saying that nearly all of us at some point have learned to react in this way towards feelings that are simply natural processes, but have been labeled “wrong” on the flip side of the same coin of life experience.
It is all really “okay” and to view things this way or to be hard on yourself really is not what unconditional love and compassion is about and keeps us trapped in the very separated world of black and white duality.
One thing I have found to be misleading with New Age thoughts of the old have been to mentally reprogram with positive affirmations, but with an unrealistic focus and expectation that there will never again be a moment of experiencing anything on one side of the coin because you have moved onto the other.
Remember, the very existence of one is only possible because of the other. We experience the flip-flop because of our present focuses and yet at any moment we can also experience the simultaneousnous of All That Is, which always IS even while we are in this see-saw effect – for now, perhaps this is simply a concept to many that is hard to grasp, yet many of you enter that space at certain “tapped in” moments.
While this “positive programming” can last for a while, it is not built to last. It potentially brings with it a lot of repression, or potential denial and “stuffing” of old, core emotions.
Glass castles built in the sky can easily be shattered by one single rock thrown from the foundation upon which it was built.
Hence, as within, so without. Denial, judgment (which can include the focus on only “one side” of experience), and refusal, can and will come back to haunt.
The trick however, is not only “not” to run from it, but to learn to love, forgive, and realize the natural flow of emotions that are integral and valuable to your evolution as a human being. This is now possible in an instant when we grasp the new perspectives and ways. That is, until we start to over-analyze and think, “It simply can’t be that easy,” and therefore we negate that we actually shifted the experience when we go back into our old stories and programming to try to “work it out” some more.
We cannot escape feelings and challenges, but we can learn to embrace them as the Divine perfection they are and see them through the same Universal eyes that simply observes, never judges, and is in the business of experiencing for sake of experiencing itself, and all of the integral parts that make up the whole of All That Is.
We, in human form, are gifted the opportunity to experience all of these parts that make up Oneness, in a very tangible and sensual way. The trick is not to get “stuck” in any one experience, thought, or feeling, but instead, to allow the cycling of energy to do what it is born to do…keep moving, re-creating, expanding, flowing, and blazing in motion of perfection.
The gift of living in a human body temple is to BE human. And while we are learning about ourselves, we are also provided opportunity to experience out the spectrum of colors that make up the Universe, in a focused way of our present choosing, while being challenged to remember it all in its unity and integration. At some point you will be able to walk both of these paths at once, coming to realize your luminous beingness that is always perfectly imperfect.
But for now, just realizing the beautiful perfection of energy, how it flows, and learning to mirror the ocean’s currents, nature’s seasons, and the cosmos’ rebirthing – all as natural cycles of life force energy simply being in its exquisiteness and grace – will greatly release the fixations of false illusions holding you stuck in any one experience.
A new reality is awaiting creation once you cross the threshold of your limitations.
It is really of benefit to evolve into a place where you can value, embrace, appreciate, experience, read, and flow feelings in their fullness. This provides a key to the map of consciousness that will bring you into your highest potentials of awakening, as well as into abundance and harmony in all areas of life.
When we spend time talking about the unwanted feelings this usually will do the opposite of moving them through you, and rather, may increase the experience of them, as you get stuck in the spiraling “story”.
Even people who have done a lot of spiritual work can find their awakening limited because they haven’t yet learned to fully allow for flow of feelings in their life. This can create challenges with abundance, health, drama filled relationships, and a whole gamut of challenging emotions and struggles.
Along with flowing the feelings with gentle nurturing, also remember to change the inner landscape and work with the mirrors there the minute they show up, which will then reflect the outer reality you are embodying.
When you truly get this, things do actually become magical. This isn’t just a word I enjoy using. It IS an actual reality that is available to choose.
Some ways to gauge how you are doing is to look at your body and your life, as they will never lie. Do they flow with ease and grace? If not, then you can start to take a look at the different layers of your life for the messages they are revealing to you – look at your state of happiness and well being, your relationships, your abundance, your physical body, your work…
All of this, including your consciousness and spiritual awakening has everything to do with the core feelings that reside within you about everything in and around you.
If everything isn’t the way you desire, remember that this is also okay. Simply use the information and messages as the tools to help get you where you do want to be without judgment of where you’re at now, or where you came from.
Nature doesn’t judge or think twice about her trees who lose all of their leaves in the winter, does she? She doesn’t think twice, because its simply a cycle of life and all things always WILL cycle around in a renewed and unique way – every moment recreating itself from the creative force that is your Source. All of it is in Divine order and alignment. It is when we get in the way of the cycles and start building a dam to stop the water’s flow, that we are creating unnatural effects that will have to give way when we may least want or expect it to. You can’t buck Universal laws. 🙂
What is your protocol for working with your feelings? Is it one of recognition and honoring, or one of angry denial and judgment? Do you love all of your feelings now, or try to get rid of ones you don’t like because they don’t fit the “ideal” of “perfection”?
Have you done some of the spiritual bypassing and “fluffiness” with your emotions? Whereas you “fake” a reality of feeling, crack a smile, and simply affirm otherwise. These don’t last and when they don’t, we wonder why, as we thought that’s what we were told to do, right? Whether it was our parents who showed us how they “smiled” their way through frustrations because they thought it best we don’t see their pains and challenges since they were taught to just push through it, or whether it was the New Age teachings that said to focus on affirming only the positive or to meditate to escape it, there are conditionings to “unlearn” that simply don’t work.
And there are many other aspects we’ve all likely experienced one or more of to also be conscious about, while remembering not to judge the steps we’ve taken already, where we come from, or anything that has led us to where we are now. It has all been a perfect unfolding (including the people that taught us) of simply stepping stones on our personal growth path with good intentions from the place they and we could “see” from at the time.
Yet, now you can review them and see which things may still be inhibiting or slowing your liberation and which are actually expanding it. Then let them be. Thank them. Let go and allow the flow to naturally move through you so that it can catch up to your new mental programming and work in synergy with, rather than against, them.
Some very good intentioned modalities we’ve all exercised are: over-analyzing feelings and getting stuck in the story only talking rather than feeling them fully, releasing and moving through them, constantly looking for the magic fix to once and for all heal and rid yourself of things forever or getting to a place of some “devised” perfect state of only “good” feelings, becoming dependent on others to “heal” for you (which includes venting to friends, family, and counselors for indefinite years on end) rather than committing to learn how to do it yourself and be able to tap into your empowered source within (As truly no one can alter your experience for you. They can merely support you with the best possible opportunity and environment for temporary results, but the long term is dependent upon you).
There is nothing more freeing and enlivening than discovering your ability to be experiencing what you have long desired, rather than merely talking or reading about it. If you are here on Earth at this time, you have every opportunity to experience more fullness of you now, in your own unique way, just as anyone else. And you also have the choice to move more freely through your perfect perpetual evolution. There are many who are coming to experience this more and more and so it is becoming much more prevalent a possibility by the increasing rippling waves on the collective ocean.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it again. Gone are the days of having to work so long and hard on yourself, to attend endless seminars and healing sessions, to struggle, process, and become overwhelmed with thinking you have to learn everything there possibly is before you will be some idea of an enlightened, awakened being.
You are already spiritual by default. Remembering this is what you are living out through your human experience in your beautiful temple body, can shift you into realizing there is Divinity innate to you always that isn’t Universally being judged. We judge because we forget and this happens when we only identify with one aspect of ourselves, rather than our wholeness, which believe it or not, is always present in every single moment – yes even when you get angry or triggered by something.
Many of us have gone through the long drawn out processes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to, nor that you have to continue to if you already have. That’s the beauty of our interconnectedness. And I can tell you that I experience the distinction between my processes from before and the simplicity of the now. It is very easy to shift any experience in the moment these days.
Having come from the “old” way I can clearly see the differences. I do see that even in the spiritual New Age community of thinking that there is an old and new way – one based still on the programming and foundations of the “hard work” (old male) experiences we thought we were moving away from with our pulling away from it, and one rooted in grace, ease, and flow (Divine Feminine that then works in partnership and harmony with Divine Male) that is creating a different way and choice.
It is up to you to use your free will and choose another reality and with that, different perspectives and paths that will lead you to what you desire in essence, that will actually work for you because they are aligned with the energetics present now.
There isn’t a lot of teaching out there that addresses how to move through all of your levels in order to integrate them. Positive affirmations are only a piece of the puzzle as they address only the mental and suppress the rest of what you are feeling in your body and emotions, which can cause confusion inwardly that will show up later. And then many of us fall prey to a destructive spiral of self-judgment.
“The important thing to remember is that we can’t skip over the levels. We can’t just go straight to the unity level and pray and meditate all day long and expect that we’re gonna be healed, because what happens is that people who meditate a lot will be fantastic when they’re meditating or when they’ve been praying for three hours. But as soon as they go back out into the world, they become activated in their body and they don’t know why. And there’s this subtle message inside of us that says ‘What’s wrong with me? Why am I not getting better? I’m doing all this spiritual stuff.” The reason you’re not getting any better is because “you can’t just focus on the unity and then expect the body and the heart to know the truth about themselves. We have to work with the level of the body, the level of the heart, the level of the soul, and we heal on every level.” ~ Paige Bartholomew
Working with these levels, to me, is about allowing. Lovingly recognizing, honoring, mirroring, and bringing together each level with utmost presence and loving responsibility to life can have profound and efficient results that you have desired.
In doing so, you also learn compassion for others, as well as realize that you are loved in all of your wholeness at every step of the journey. There is no particular place or level to attain – only to keep going with the flow of the natural rhythms that will guide you always.
So when you are triggered, or find old stuff coming up, realize its presence is a gift. Not one to attach to and never let go of, but one to unwrap, so you can actually experience what is inside the box under the wrapping. All of the old we have stored away is merely a lot of accumulated boxes that are pushing open the closet door we have carefully locked them away behind, out of sight.
Remember that life is about giving and receiving. Anything done one-sided is not in natural flow of energy. So, too, is this true of the emotions we have been gifted – all of the spectrum that is – for our wholeness evolution. It is time to open and receive in flow.