I believe that everything we need to know is right within us – our bodies are the perfect best friend we never thought we would ever have, but divinely designed in reflection of exactly what we need. Whether our bodies operate in the way our egos desire or not, they are a miracle.
Cultivating body wisdom is an intuitive guide to understanding ourselves. Just like you can look at sky maps of the stars, planets and constellations, we can also consider our body a map of the interrelationship of the universe within and how everything is connected.
The body helps us to ground the creative life force energy that we are, into form, and provides the channel to convert energy into actions.
Everyone has a very different journey and trajectory in terms of how they will convert energy into action. However this has manifested is still in divine perfection regardless of how we judge it with our egos. This can be more challenging to embrace, if in fact we have some type of disability or limitation with the body or we dislike it in some way because we judge it against others.
Yet, it is always enough. It is always worthy. And it is more than adequate because it is a manifestation of creation with divine design in mind.
I feel that an illness, challenge, disease, etc. are ways of experiencing – not a punishment, but an act of experience. Everything can be viewed in terms of energy wanting to be experienced and there are unlimited creative ways for this to manifest as. There is no right or wrong about it.
Form is temporary, like in nature, and eventually will pass away. It goes through cycles that transform it and it only disappoints us if we hold tight to desiring it to be or look another way.
Experience lives on in infinite ways and creates eternally.
The body is our vehicle in life for what we came on Earth to do and the heart, spirit and mind work in unison as the driver.
Like every vehicle, our bodies need regular maintenance, care, nourishing fuel and good treatment (inside and out).
This is especially important at this time in human evolution where everything in the world is heightened in the most extreme ways, which takes a toll on our bodies, drains the emotions, strains the mind, and can temporarily put a damper on spirit when all of the other parts are processing and integrating all of it.
Even though spirit understands a grander alignment, the other parts of us are needing to catch up and doing all that we can to supply our bodies, emotions and minds with nurturing things, will help us stay strong and in flow with the experience spirit has set up for us.
This is why finding ways to create peace, time outs, doing something enjoyable or luxuriating in some way, and refocusing yourself at the center of your heart become vital. And there isn’t just one way to do this, since we all have different lives, likes, passions, and ways of experiencing things.
For me, I’ve found some of the greatest ways to restore vitality have to do with clearing my mind (getting things on paper and creating manageable daily schedules), creating a time-out-of-time space for myself (even if just for minutes), immersing in the natural world (the surrounding wild nature, my garden, soaking in the sun’s rays, spending time with Astrid and the kitty babies, making flower arrangements for the home), doing small relaxing or pleasurable things like tea time, daily home spa nights while watching a movie or series, letting go, having gratitude, laughing and being silly, establishing days off, and saying “no.”
These have all helped me create greater balance too, but the biggest thing I’ve found helpful for my body has been physical exercise that allows me to enjoy the outdoors and peace and quiet at the same time. This combined with a lifestyle daily intermittent fasting and even more sleep than I already usually get, help to physically integrate the fast changes we’re going through as humans right now.
Even if we can’t do physical exercise, just being outdoors or bringing nature indoors to you can have a profound effect.
For me personally, I’ve seen a huge difference in how my body performs and how some physical imbalances have all harmonized through finding the right fit of activity that integrates who I am and the energies I came to experience.
I mentioned in a recent post about a sudden accelerated level of endurance and speed in my hiking and biking activities.
But I’ve experienced many other physical shifts too. My years of mild, sporadic hypoglycemia has completely subsided, my EIB (exercise-induced bronchoconstriction), which for me is non-asthma related, has disappeared, peri-menopausal hormonal shifts have balanced out on their own so that I no longer take any herbal supplements to support (I actually don’t take any vitamins other than B12 or extra doses of Vitamin C in intervals), my adrenal glands experience consistent happiness, without trying my body dropped extra grounding weight it no longer deemed necessary to keep me integrated, and there’s a more consistent level of energy in me.
Getting outdoors and moving the body in what ever way we’re able, really does the mind heart and spirit good as well. Or at least moving creative energy through you in some way, relative to you, can help free up the blocks. The goal being, not to let energy sit stagnant. And the key being, use your creativity to be creative in finding ways that are perfect to your experience.
I wasn’t always this active, and it’s ironic that as I’ve gotten older, my physical activities have grown exponentially. It’s never too late to start caring for your body and taking on new activities. Our bodies are our vehicles in life and to the extent we are able to go that extra mile for it, it will for us too.
I’ve found that my experience requires me to both be creative AND to be physical. That’s just how my energy is set up – it’s in my astrological chart. And my body actually needs more than most people, otherwise the energy will turn on me and rage from the inside out in various forms.
At 47 1/2 I feel the healthiest, most balanced, and in the best shape of my life (so far) and do the most things physically than I’ve ever done. It didn’t happen overnight, and I didn’t even know how it would happen, but with committed effort to make inner changes in my life, open my heart deeper, and release the internalized anxiety and acidic kind of stress build-up I once used to feel – things have continued to transform and come together with more synergy. (Having Astrid in my life, just might help too). Rather than having compartmentalized experiences, I’m learning to merge life as one stream of experience.
It’s interesting because I was in complete embrace and peace with all the different things I used to experience, feeling relief I understood why and knowing how I could make adjustments to still do what I wanted to the extent that worked for me.
Creating peace around things is a perfect companion for the potential of change to happen naturally.
The energy around these three Eclipses seemed to also provide a doorway to activate more of this, and while I immersed in things like greater outdoor activities, an elevated surge of energy was able to course through my body. Astrid actually also has been experiencing a surge of energy in recent days. 🙂
It was surprising, for me, because although I have been doing a lot of natural exercise, things went to a whole new level I didn’t realize it would.
It feels like the years of trying to figure out how to harness the productive energies of my Mars placement in the first house is finally coming to fruition – organically.
So again, as I said, we each have different energy experiences we came in to have and for me this really is supporting the balance for my body.
That said, it still is vital to do self-care in your own way and some sort of body integration or physical activity to move energy is really supportive for everything we’re all going through.
So much old stuff, trauma, pain, wounds, beliefs, etc. are being loosened to the surface. So many very distinctly contrasting energies are circulating. And this can get trapped inside of us if we aren’t in some way able to move it through the body and “shake it off”.
Time-outs are increasingly important even if just five minutes of full shut down from everything to unplug and feel the power of silence.
I took a long three-day weekend off over 4th of July since Dave had Friday off of work and we decided to find our own bit of peace even amidst a busy weekend. Although this 4th of July wasn’t as crowded as past years, we still like to do our own thing. Fireworks were also banned this year so it was overall much more quiet.
We decided to fill each day with tons of nature and exercise for well being. That included ways to get out and away from everyone or to just be passing through while in motion.
This involved a long 12-mile hike on Friday, a more moderate 11-mile bike ride on Saturday, and ended with our longest-to-date bike ride on Sunday of 37 1/4 miles. The last time I attempted a 33 mile bike ride, the last half was very uncomfortable with my butt and back feeling sore and energy slowing. This time I didn’t experience any of that. In fact, not from any of the activities we did back-to-back did I have pains or soreness from and I even went above and beyond from day one, as you’ll see.
We definitely got some great physical strengthening in, soaked up immune system building pine air, and enjoyed good sleep from all the high vibes.
I want to circle back to the 12 mile hike, which was a retracing of our steps from nearly three years ago. That was the last time we did this hike to Star Lake and you may remember that story and what unfolded from my share in September of 2017, Made of Stardust.
We’ve been talking about returning and this time we decided to do it as an out and back trip rather than a shuttle adventure, like we did then with the group we were with. It was 13 miles the way we did it last time, but by doing it this way, it cut one mile off. Doing it this way also involved much more climbing than the previous time, with a cumulative elevation gain of over 2400 feet over the course of the mileage. The highest point you arrive at is 9600 feet with Star Lake sitting just over 9000 feet.
My intention with this hike, besides wanting to return to this beautiful lake I love the name of, was to integrate and harmonize 2017’s adventure that ended with me having a broken foot. Although that was perfectly in alignment with my writing goals at the time, I felt facing the trail again as the person I am today would be a powerful activation, as well as a way to overcome any trepidation that past experiences can potentially create.
And it was.
Not only is the mountain charged with such powerful energy around this spot, but I found some interesting things show up in a couple of photos, like the odd rainbow energy just above this snow patch in the trees to the right of the middle rock.
And the light creating some kind of gateway anchoring each side of this creek.
Before I went I was getting from Astrid that there were more raw quartz in mind for us that were up there to retrieve. She was right, as I found 3 that spoke to me and received blessing on using for our Earth-grid here.
I deliberately took the same backpack I had last time, which isn’t the greatest in terms of carrying things (material and without a waist strap to shift weight to your waste instead of your shoulders), but very light and roomy.
Not only did I carry these wonderful crystalline beings for half of the 12 miles on my own, but I’m happy to report no injury and my newfound strength and endurance had me capable of completing our hike in great time. I also never once had my EIB coughing that always would happen when I was doing strenuous uphill climbing and even with the added 27.4 pounds on my shoulders (yes we weighed them), I was able to do the elevation climbing without falling behind Dave. He remarked later that this is the exact weight of his mountain bike and how crazy that sounds to have basically carried his bike 6 miles. I had to agree.
I had to swing the backpack up my back so that I could carry most of the weight in my arms by holding the straps, but it worked.
I was amazed at the physical changes, as these are things I would not have imagined me doing, especially given my EIB.
But I’m happy that I did things the way I did so that I was able to actually experience the profoundness of how much things have transformed. It’s not something I need to repeat, yet it demonstrated what is possible.
I think I’m actually turning into the mountain goat I’m meant to be – I say that due to all my Capricorn energy.
And I believe I’ve found my way to move all of that deeper energy, emotion, and stored trauma up and out – my way of “shaking it off”.
That day also happened to be the day before 4th of July, which is the 9 year anniversary of my grandpa’s transition – he died at 96. I had a very special relationship and connection with him, despite his living in the south of France where my mom and her family are from. We would spend special time together on his long visits (sometimes a year) and we had a special bond. He is the one who helped cultivate my artistic gifts, as he would sit with me on his lap drawing for hours when I was a little girl and so I am grateful for his nurturing the artist in me and for seeing the value in that. He never wanted me to stop creating.
Creativity is connected with the importance of moving energy through the body in various forms. Our creative life force wants to be experienced and if we shut it down we can experience blocks and challenges. So, in fact, my grandpa was nurturing the importance of this from the start.
And being at Star Lake was also a perfect place for reflection on things to include my grandpa in the stars now as my guide. Perhaps he even showed up in a dance of starlight in the lake.
It’s especially meaningful that I wear his wedding band as my own, knowing he is with me even more along this new journey. Everything he stood for I carry forth through my own embodiment, in my own unique way.
He loved to draw, spend time in the garden, loved animals, loved to laugh, and had his own strong connection to his beliefs. Although more religiously based than my organic spirituality, he was giving, full of gratitude, and loved his family.
I know he is happy and proud seeing me as I am today and would have tears of joy for this union, knowing I wear what was so meaningful to him – a way to honor his bond of love with my grandma and the cycles of life meant to continue and expand further.
In many ways, during uncertain times, I feel I am rewriting my story and as I do, it is rewriting a lineage of stories.
As we each do this, we collectively ignite something different for the future.
And as we each do this, let us not forget our bodies – physical and emotional bodies – while we progress forward with our minds. All of these parts create divine union of our spirit in motion of experience.
In order to meet the new reality we envision, integrating all that good stuff through our miracle vehicles I believe will help get us there.
No matter where you find yourself in the experience of your body, there is a perfect path only you can carve that is vital to all of us. Loving our bodies as they are right now, allows us to really embrace how energy wants to move through it.
Virgo Full Moon magick to everyone! Some big things have culminated around this moon energy here in my personal experience including a huge ending/beginning that took place yesterday with a lot of recognition of the full circle experience and also how it all was the gift that gave me new life and anchored me here longer, most literally. I also have a big celebration today of my personal empowerment and embodiment, as well as some interesting things revealing themselves.
What are you experiencing around this energy right now? I know a lot of people that are having major shifts in their life, openings, and breakthroughs to their long-time dreams. Exciting to hear and witness.
Virgo has us looking at our relationship to our Earth Mother, our bodies and making that heart connection to their messages, releasing perfectionism, limiting beliefs, and inhibitions, stepping up rather than hiding, and reminding us we need to focus with conviction and integrity on the details and steps put into motion now if we really want to manifest our dreams.
Ready? Set. Go!
I took this photo early this morning when I woke from it beaming on my face through the window.
And today I awaken, reminded of what this day also means for me, as it is the 16-year anniversary of my legally changing my middle name to my official last name, hence now my full, legal name being Tania Marie.
So, a reflection of self-embodiment and a rebirthing and anchoring into who that is, as I’ve continued forward throughout the rest of my life.
It all seems timely and significant with Virgo’s energy right now highlighting things – my opposite sign as a Pisces – which is all about the “practical” application of creative self-expression in a way that most serves the highest good, which is inclusive simultaneously of you.
It’s down-to-Earth energy helps us to bring all of those dreams and ideas into grounded being, anchoring us more with integrity and commitment, and helping us to balance things, knowing that it isn’t just enough to imagine and have incredible ideas, but also we must apply these things in the every-day and understand the processes of manifestation. After all, we aren’t here on Earth for nothing!
Imperfect perfectionism is key too, allowing ourselves to be human through it all and to avoid extremism.
Synchronous to Virgo’s focus on practical matters of life including nutrition, healing, health, “service”, and work, last night we hosted our Tahoe Herbivores’ meetup here at our place for a private screening of “What The Health,” which is a follow-up film exposing government and big business corruption keeping us sick, from the creators of the award-winning documentary Cowspiracy. – both great films and eye-openers for people, plus an added bonus of my partner Dave Simon having cameos in both. 😉
It was a great evening, awesome group of 12, and yummies I made including my air fried, breaded cauliflower with homemade vegan thousand island dressing, my almond “cheeze” ball, and pine nut roasted hummus with rainbow carrots – all a big hit! A guest also brought a huge bowl of sprouted lentils and home made pear kombucha to add to the yum. We even had an amazing sunset to welcome our guests. It was a lovely evening all around followed by dinner at a local Indian restaurant, but I had to smile at the tie-in with the Moon’s energy supporting this evening’s film and discussions.
Anyway, today I plan to get some Nature time in amidst some of my own “practical applications” I’ll be implementing to help balance and ground the energies and see what inspirations come through from immersion time with Terra.
And this integrated Nature and Moon energy brings me to the Magick Crystal Wands for an update.
Right after I posted the three wands that I was guided would be offered, two got spoken for.
So I only have the powerful Neptune and Nymph Wand remaining, currently.
Definitely not one for the faint of heart! It’s watery essence is anchored in Earthy manifestation, SO reminding me of the Virgo/Pisces dynamics! Wow! Perhaps it will end up staying with me! Hehe!! Weeeeeee!
You can get more info on it here, which includes the original link with many more photos of details of it as well:
As mentioned in this post I do have a bunch more wands that spoke to me and will in the future be channeled for offering.
That said, I got the idea yesterday when someone, who had really felt drawn to one of the wands that was spoken for, did not end up being the one to receive it, I immediately was inspired and knew I could create a unique wand for her with some of the elements I had collected and so that put a spin on things and now have 3 custom wand channelings that will be upcoming for individuals in similar circumstances.
So this could be an option too, if you desire.
However, I will reiterate what I shared in my last post on them, that these won’t be created right away, but in their own time, as I have to switch gears a bit for a while.
Who knows though, as I go by inspiration and if suddenly an alignment, divine inspiration, and energy hits and nudges me to make one, then I will.
How’s that for my own Pisces/Virgo integration of divine inspiration tempered with practical application? LOL!
Wishing everyone a balancing Full Moon!
It’s hard to believe this was once me and this share will be revealing in terms of things and photos from my life experiences that unveil more pieces of my journey. I’ve lived a very diverse life at both extremes of the spectrum, exploring the dark, the light, the in between….I’ve immersed myself in society’s illusions, spiritual deceptions, and walked in the shoes of being part of the bombardment of messages that are sold to us daily – all to know myself, to know these dynamics, to understand their energy and purpose, and to be able to see that I am all of these and none of these…that I can choose my own reality that now more purely reflects this transmutation I’m coming to experience more and more of, daily.
It’s an ever-flowing evolution of creative execution requiring constant, increasingly conscious presence to hear the voice within.
One of the most visual and tangibly easy ways to share this evolution is through the physical body – my body – the epitome of our divinity that has been abused, mutilated, manipulated by force, neglected, made to feel less than, evil, dirty, and simply hated and made to feel like a punishment for being born as a human in female or male form.
You may not know that at one time I used to:
- drink and in fact used to be an event and convention model for beer, tequila, and rum
- I used to eat meat and dairy, wore leather, and modeled it for promotion to female consumers
- modeled and basically sold sex through scantily clad, “just” covered birthday suit, and lingerie photos in campaigns and fashion shows
- promoted accepted idealism of beauty and physical fitness through exposure of my body and image spending hours in make up and hair chairs for photo shoots
- was a model in an exercise video and promotional photo shoot for it
- modeled for caricatures made of me that were featured as the main character in a zombie comic book series where I was a female military leader combating the zombies and then became one (I do have these comic books, but they are in storage so unable to share at this time)
- modeled and promo modeled for other companies that included sunglasses, California apparel, lingerie, car shows, bars and alcohol based events, upcoming L.A. fashion designers’ shows, California Mart, etc.
- went on rigorous auditions for product commercials I had no connection with and reality dating show call-backs where my essence and personal integrity ultimately made me a mismatch vibrationally and finally not chosen in the end because of that
- filmed public access channel spots that were odd to say the least under the tutelage of a past life abuser that showed up for closure to be rectified
- stayed conscious of every little pound to ensure the right weight for the camera – knowing the difference between 104 and 105 pounds quite intimately
- at one time was a gym extremist monitoring everything that went into my body spending 3 hours a day 5+ days a week working out and exhibiting a fitness model body at 13-14% body fat (that’s the low end of average female athletes)
- evolved into a pescatarian for a while, a vegetarian, and then extreme vegan raw foodist for 2 years
- and when in my teens, like so many today, was drawn in by images in magazines that I idealized and yearned to emulate and look the same as
All of this is of course being my own choice along my path to choose to experience and emulate what I saw all around me in varying forms and through various modes of marketed “ideals” being advertised and being accepted and manipulated into multiple versions of these “ideals” by different channels of the collective that I tuned into. And later, that included even “ideals” in the spiritual/new age community.
I’m sharing some photos (ones I could easily find) from my modeling (above), one from when I was a raw foodist, and a few of me currently, in order to reflect what I’m sharing and the actualization of it.
I wish I had photos from my extreme gym days, as that would really present a contrast, but for some reason I never took photos then, which seems interesting given I was obviously very physically focused in manipulating my body during that time.
I’m sharing several, as I want to share this side of me that people would not associate with me so that you can really get the “picture” of my journey I’m trying to convey.
These fitness photos you see are from my modeling days (post gym days, which were 8- 10 years earlier) when I did an exercise video and photo shoot promotion for it, which I mentioned above.
And although I never became addicted to alcohol, never once touched a cigarette, drug, or any form of altering substance outside of alcohol, never had an eating disorder, nor got sucked into anything truly harmful, I still had an unhealthy lack of self worth, body dysmorphic perception which plagues a large majority of the population to some degree or another, used extremes to make up for energies I had neglected, and immersed in the illusion and numbness that while I thought was to help my body, I feel was still not really actually listening to it.
I was listening to ideas in my mind that weren’t taking into account what my body truly desired, but instead were aligning with what the industry was promoting and women were idealizing. Although everything is always perfect and valuable in its experience, there was in fact a reason energetically for every choice that my body would patiently accompany me on to work out the journey I personally needed to experience.
I am grateful for the fact that some part of me always had this lifeline to my purity of frequency that although was muddled and at times pushed aside to listen to other voices I chose to play out on the experiential scene, it was always there to reel me back in, keep control of things, and aided some level of discernment, even if tiny.
Without that I may have developed major challenges, addictions, or worse. But it also kept me aware of not only what I was continuing to subject myself to, that runs through the history of our DNA as a collective, but what I was reflecting to others in message and continuing to support through that.
I was also grateful that my modeling didn’t take place until I was between 29 and 31, as I was able to walk in that world by appearing young, but bringing along with me some of the consciousness, wisdom, and strength I’d managed to work on in the years before.
Not to mention, I got into it for fun and made it a thing of fun, wondering if, at my older age and at my shorter height than the industry standard, I could enter in and try on these collective roles for a while.
It was not my life or life line. There was no desperation involved.
I merely wanted to experience this realm that I’d been enamored with like many others, from a place of immersion for sake of knowing that energy from experience, and for observation.
I received much in doing so, which included some beautiful experiences of creative self expression, confidence and working through some layers of my shyness, my enjoyment of morphing into different me’s, exploring my shadow literally, working through deep seeded beliefs and conditioning around the body and being a female, stepping into the unempowered AND empowered woman simultaneously, and experiencing vulnerability.
I also got to see and experience firsthand this side of the coin and the underlying currents there, including a continuing disregard for body honoring in ways that lifted the female and male counterparts into their strengths, but rather fed off of the weaknesses instilled over ages of forgetting.
And although I had much, much to learn still, my small lifelines were enough to keep me above water and I think was also the saving grace of my pulling out when I did, right before things could have gone a different course if I’d chosen.
I share this background to express that I have walked in different worlds and I do know from experience what these things are like and have been exposed to much along the way.
When I share this, it’s not coming from someone who doesn’t get it, nor from jealousy because I haven’t been there and wish I was something other than myself in looks or otherwise, or even from a place of out right judgment, as I do really get the perfection of all expressions of energy, dynamics, why they are there, and why individuals feel called to different paths in their life to mirror things they are wanting to learn or simply experience as a soul in physical form, not to mention the collective reflection and expression all of these energies play a part in for us all.
What I share is my personal experience having immersed in much that goes beyond the realm of what this post is about, and what for me, personally, it’s led to as to the reality I experience and create now of my choosing – in this case relating to my body and the relationship I have with it now and my health.
It might perhaps have something that resonates in it for who ever is drawn to find this post and read it. And if not, I’ve put it out there energetically as my contribution to the collective energy pool.
Again, I’d like to reiterate that I do see the purpose in all of this and the things I chose, I came to realize the dynamics of while involved in them and yet still felt compelled to follow it through for purposes of living in these shadow aspects of myself while keeping that lifeline to the core of me. That’s not to mean I was aware of every little thing playing out, but I was aware of this underlying pull to see it through for a reason I couldn’t explain to others and even to myself. And where I allowed unconscious acts to fold in, they were the acts chosen as necessary to my evolution.
I’m so grateful for all of it, as truly, even though I went through some crazy and challenging stuff, my life is richer and I’ve come to know myself quite intimately inside and out of the dark and the light.
In dancing with each, I feel we then can create true alchemy.
That has been the case for many things I went through…and although could have chosen otherwise, I chose to live these things out because for me, that was the way to transmute them and how I evolved the most – by living the experience.
Some more facts about me:
When I was younger, I appeared older and more mature.
When I got older, I appeared younger.
I used to wear revealing clothing when younger and never left home without makeup and looking a certain way – while I am an artist and some of this satisfies my need to be creative and morphing, it also was extreme in living as a certain image I felt I needed to portray, a face or mask I hid behind, or an energy I had out of control within my experience.
I used to own a scale and monitored each pound, which was easy with a strongly placed Capricorn ascendant and Mars in Capricorn in my first house to discipline, control, and shift my outer body’s structure without ever having to become bulimic or anorexic. It was simply mind over matter.
I used to have a personal trainer and wrote down everything I ate, while we monitored my body fat and muscle shifts, measuring everything and doing what the body didn’t want because the mind willed it into tight muscley rigid, command.
Later I went to the extreme of inhaling every superfood, holistic supplementation, doing every cleanse, juicing, and colonic on continual intervals to rewire myself, hiring a personal raw food chef, purchasing raw food books, and adamantly refusing anything that wasn’t raw vegan. I was fanatical in a new extreme way. I went to Bikram yoga and sweated out the “toxins” and immersed heavily into a new version of health and body consciousness that I was surrounded by.
And somewhere in between my extremes, I indulged in so-called “fine” foods and drinking to just drink and do like the others around me. I could hold more alcohol than most people if I wanted and yet still never had any affinity to it, no addiction, nor even really liked most any of it. It was an idea and I could morph into that to assume the experience.
And within each experience and time period of my life I wore clothing that “fit” each of these images I was swimming in.
I’ve lived in the extremes. And I never found or experienced true self love and peace in any of them.
And having immersed in these extremes of realities with focus on different versions of dictating the physical body, which are received in messages from varying camps of thought and then executed by my choice to join them, it had an affect on detaching from honoring the sacred wisdom my body had all on its own, which knows what it wants and how that looks and feels, which isn’t about getting caught in any small or large stream of information and messaging that is being offered by that which is outside the cellular and DNA wisdom within.
In some way or another, although all of these messages are provided with intent to help in their own way, it all still felt to me to be limited, restrictive, and obsessively addictive….to be a way to keep me in subconscious dislike of myself and the physical body’s divine partnership with spirit that is ever-flowing.
The me now:
I no longer strive to be a chiseled woman – my version of dancing in the male energy I yearned to strengthen.
I no longer strive to have a yoga body – my version of dancing in the female energy I then needed to strengthen in direct respect.
I honor each of these and their male and female energetic purposes and value, and yet I’ve been led to find a different way most resonant to the balance and integration I seek. One that honors both my sacred male and female in honoring each’s wisdom and embodying this as an emanating quality where my body relaxes into the expression of each in ways I would not have reasoned out with my mind, but it comes through in listening and supporting action of their wisdom alone.
I now listen to the new male and female within that are learning to recreate themselves in core ways.
What that looks like is not an ultimate end goal result, but an ever-evolving one, day-to-day.
This is not to say that either the extreme chiseled or extreme yoga woman me was wrong in any way, but they truly aren’t me at the core. They may be what others feel is their essence or one might find their own mix of some of each combined with a whole gamut of other versions…like an athlete, dancer, gymnast, etc. too.
We each have a different energy signature and individual expression of All That Is to play out….and for some that will shift along the way, as we uncover the layers to our trueness.
I know that when I was a child it was all about dancing and being a ballerina, which goes along with the Faery me, no doubt. And I continued dancing into adulthood at clubs – even considered at one time being a go-go dancer 🙂 and later took salsa lessons. The dancer would definitely be me, but not in any professional way that would involve rigid discipline and competition, as that doesn’t feed my soul personally.
I dance for the sake of my soul being on fire with passion flowing through me and that might just be in private, or whenever the moment moves me.
This is the difference, for me, with any of these things, as there is a yearning to just flow now, which is what going through my rolfing sessions reiterated to me, which I did in the years later after the gym.
Rolfing helped me to undo and release layers of the old memories and core emotions that were held in my muscles so tightly and to be more of that free dancer, returning my body to its elongated flow and flexibility I resonated with. I’ve even considered doing that again, as I loved what took place in that process of return, which may be potent at this point. Who knows what I might be led to. I’ll listen to my body, though, that’s for sure.
I’ve now melted into my own version of natural, which my body is guiding me toward.
My “diet” of body, mind, heart, and soul is a “nature diet” honoring the “nature of me” and following my soul’s joy, which then my mind supports the actions shared by my body’s rhythms of flowing intelligence.
This to me being a partnership of sacred male and female honoring one another.
And now I have chosen my balance – a balance that most resonates with my soul frequency, the embodiment I choose to inhabit, and the celebration of my nature and inner harmony that continues to find the comfort, self value, and true self love that isn’t about any of this, but about listening to the energy moving through me, who I really am, and what I am really here to experience, embody, and reflect.
Now I just am what I am, melting into all that I’ve processed through these experiences and come to create as my own new reality that isn’t about trying to portray something that has been force fed to me by any realm – media, society, the spiritual community, the health enthusiasts, doctors, “experts”, and even the do-gooders that want to share their revelations they feel others should follow to receive equal happiness and health.
I know what it feels like when we discover things that create such amazing shifts in our lives….there’s excitement to shout it out to the world, as we do have a connection and love shared collectively and there’s this innate feeling to want to be supportive.
And so I still walk that line of feeling challenged on what to express and how to express it, especially knowing that what I say and put out there has its own effects. Sometimes this experience is one of learning out loud in the process of sharing it, from the current place I’m at, how that feels, and readjusting and tweaking things for the future.
I’m a work in progress and have chosen to make that public and be vulnerable about it. That’s my way of being personally accountable. That’s part of my purpose.
But I’ve settled into the same place with this expression, as I have with my own health, vitality, body, weight, physical appearance, etc. – to just be me in the fullest way I know possible, embodying my truth, and the beliefs I hold important enough to walk in the shoes of.
This is what I’m experiencing in terms of my now physicality and health that has come to be reflected, as this is what I’m focusing on for this share:
- looking more integrated, I suppose
- a mixture of innocent and ancient
- having both dark and light
- celebrating my silver hairs that are growing in, even creating an Elvira Faery stripe and letting them adorn my crown with grace as a mirror of the depth of who I am and what I’ve been through
- getting rid of the scale and happily wearing larger sizes
- loving the round curves, the extra Earthy weight, embracing both my fat and muscles and enjoying the softness of my real femininity
- wearing makeup only when I want to express a different creative feminine part of myself or have Faery fun, but am completely at home 90% of the time without
- only being drawn to natural forms of exercise that take me into nature like hiking, biking, and kayaking, yet only with the goal of enjoying and connecting with Earth’s gifts – I never see it as a means to an end in terms of exercise for weight control or to make up for something I ate – and yet I’m still physically fit with a natural balance of fat and muscle
- wearing clothes that mirror how I feel and my unique creative expression alone, which is why I wear skirts and dresses hiking, for example – because it’s more comfortable and me
- being 100% vegan, but muddying up my diet to eat what ever I choose and enjoying things in moderation that my body determines alone and not my mind, not monitoring everything I eat or feeling guilty or like I need to make up for something and not depriving myself. I basically eat what I want – cooked or raw, but pretty much solidly cooked at this point, as that is what resonates for my path right now and my physical needs, along with what I want to manifest – all within my vegan lifestyle choice that matches my soul’s essence and mirrors the expression of my spirit in physical form.
- I don’t drink and haven’t for the last 11 years.
- I am physically fit in terms of my ability to do the things I love, which include hiking and biking several miles pretty much daily (we do anywhere from 2 – 10 miles depending on the trail that calls) and quite quickly when/if desired or the energy moves me, can ascend several thousand feet in elevation or hike at extreme elevation without breathing issues, have complete flexibility with my body even though I don’t do yoga anymore, my bones are stronger than they were when I was eating in any other way (I have fractured multiple bones in the past, whereas an accident I had recently where I clearly should have had a break, hearing things crack, in fact did not happen with the way things are currently).
- My skin is clear and has no more issues with acne that I faced during large parts of my past.
- My hair and nails grow excessively fast – it was only 3 years ago that my hair was buzzed close to my head like a guy, trimmed into different styles since, and now is at the middle of my lower back.
- living a spiritually Earth-based life that I keep learning to balance more and more, as all things are an ever-evolving journey
And I know I will continue to morph, as I continue to grow along my path.
It’s constantly shifting as to what this looks and feels like for me, but this is as best as I can describe it above, for the current experience I’m having and seeing with myself.
If I wanted to change what this physical expression of myself is, I could do that at any moment, but I have no desire to change what has, and is, naturally settling into harmony inside and out.
I’m not thinking it into being…it’s a process of relearning to just “be”.
I may not look like the sleek model me at 104 pounds.
I may not look like the fitness athlete me at 115 pounds of muscle bound physique.
I may not look like the 100% raw vegan lean, light, and waif me at 105 pounds.
I am 43 and a half in Earth years, this go around.
I am 5’5″ and likely weigh about 125+ lbs since the last time I was weighed on a doctor’s scale with clothes on I was 128 in Utah when I had my elbow checked from a mountain biking fall I shared having with miraculously no break. That’s 20+ lbs or more of “natural” love, joy, and harmony than what I allowed as an ideal at one point. And it’s a mix of fat, muscle, soft, firm, thicker and more solid, smooth, ripply, and of course heavily tattooed since my modeling days when I only had two small tattoos – basically fully embodied and grounded.
But best and most importantly of all – I feel at peace.
None of the rest of the above would matter, other than sharing what has evolved as means of where the journey has taken me, as peace is my truest expression to experience even if that means for one more day, week, or 50+ more years of life on this Earth.
My body has found its “harmony zone” where I can basically do what I love most and eat anything that brings me joy within the realm of my “nature” when I listen, nurture, and support what I feel without punishment, guilt, and “ideas” or “charge” about rights and wrongs.
Simply put…it’s in it’s personal harmony zone by following “my” authentic, personal joy, which I’ve been coming to know by walking through many versions and extremes of experience.
I have no issue with sharing my age, weight, etc….as well as have no need to prove anything with sharing them either.
I know that they don’t define me, just like everything shared here doesn’t, but also I have no fear of them.
I don’t need to prove that age and weight don’t matter, just as much as I don’t need to prove that they do.
I share them just as celebration and honor of the totality of who I am right here and now with no need to withhold and no need to say, “hey look at me!”
This is a share of vulnerability.
Exposing my journey.
Exposing my body.
Exposing my dance with shadow and light.
I don’t need to be extreme on either end, but feel that my personal expression and path is about undefining things and being able to move in and out of experiences without taking a side and without need to continue being an extremist or feel a charge around anything.
I honor and am grateful for my entire journey and the energy that has played a part in who I am today that gives me an appreciation and understanding for the spectrum of realities playing out collectively as well.
This is my experience and where I feel most at home. And yet each of the places I found myself in at one time or another, served their purpose in knowing where home is for me.
While I know it may not sound like a huge shift to some people to be 20+ lbs more than I used to be, all experiences are relative and it’s not to be compared, but to be taken at the level of the experience of the individual.
It’s a huge deal, coming from a lifetime of restrictions, monitoring, and delegating to my body in one way or another, to now relax and let go into its own wisdom and comfort that has settled into where it really wants to be.
Although people may say I’m still on the spectrum of “thin,” the key I’m focusing on is how this natural zone of my own health and vitality has come to take root by honoring the core within and having no restrictive measures other than honoring what my essence truly is about, which is the same messaging from spirit of what my soul vibrates at in terms of being 100% vegan – that’s not an idea I contrive – it’s the sustenance needed for my personal frequency and vibration.
I’m my own version of “ideal” that my body wants to express itself as without manipulation. It has settled into the comfort of its own personal haven of peace and pleasure that celebrates my sacred feminine and masculine within.
I’m loving this new me.
I’m loving the ancient me coming through.
I’m loving that I still vibrate youth as well because of my constant heart connection and desire to see the beauty and magick within it all rather than attach to a “look” to strive for or that creates fear and hate around wrinkles or extra weight that is simply nature’s cycles.
Could we defy all of this and ascend into light forms?
Certainly and may do just that, but there is beauty in the process and the stages and dynamics of life that Nature mirrors to us daily. There is nothing wrong with living in the grace of this. We are in human bodies for a reason. We are physical and mirror Nature for a reason.
This “now” me is a reflection of my Middle Way that comes from having explored and deciding what feels most naturally aligned and reflective of my soul signature at this time and where I feel led to move into.
I realize and celebrate that others are not on the same path as me, but in sharing this perhaps it might provide another perspective to create your own version of reality and what you want as YOUR experience of soul in flesh.
Afterall, what we put out there, like it or not, is influencing others and sends a message you may not even realize you’re sending.
And while we all (including myself) may have the best of intentions and truly are experiencing what we in this moment feel as ideal, motivational, or proving a point or message, we might also be carrying a load of underlying messages to others that are unattainable on so many levels including that everyone has different motivators, that it’s not their energetic path as it is yours, and that create extremism in other ways that can still create issues around self worth, self hate, and feeling less than, or more.
And still, this is all perfect too, as there is purpose to the paths we are each currently on, and to what we are drawn to, what we focus on, and the growth these choices have in potential for us.
Being conscious of the full spectrum of dynamics and effects our choices and messages make, make our choices….well….more conscious. 🙂
We impact the collective with everything we do, feel, and say.
If we recognize that our journey here is about our individual self expression of our piece of the collective, we can understand that it all has its place, and the most important piece is YOURS, as the clearer you are with YOUR expression of All That Is, the clearer others will be with theirs.
We place a lot of focus on the outside (and that goes for any realm of society and communities – spiritually or physically focused – that all magnify ideals at us, which include the physical, but also every other level of experience as well).
The physical is the easiest to manipulate, and yet perhaps the inside might know exactly how to formulate the outside if we softened into listening to it.
I don’t have all the answers, and continue to explore, observe, and try to understand the energy streams out there.
But I do know that in my own exploration, the peace has only arrived now.
I have discovered that the body has its own sacred wisdom and divinity that basically knows the perfect balance that honors our essence and will always align us with what it knows as health and vitality if we listen to it, rather than dictate it from a place of dishonor and disregard to its wisdom.
Sure, that is a process and will take some time to balance out, but the more we honor its voice and the very richness of knowledge within its cells and DNA, the more we we find ourselves experiencing true well being.
What ever you do, DO IT FOR YOURSELF and know that it’s about the energy YOU are working with and working out in YOUR own life right now and it’s NOT EVERYONE’S path at this time.
That includes the one I share here of mine.
My journey is simply my expression of this that has naturally evolved, offered as another perspective in the energy stream to explore, and as celebration and honor of your divine human body and its own wisdom to guide you harmoniously.
This may release that charge every time you meet or see someone you feel instantly compelled to judge or change.
This may release that charge every time you meet or see someone you feel instantly compelled to emulate.
There is no perfect way to express any message, as the second you say or write a word, it immediately takes you out of the formless energy that has more expansive meaning than the limiting words that will either be heard differently based on someone’s personal filters and experience, be charged with any residual energy you might not be aware of operating beneath the surface, create an opposing side merely by finiting something, will feel like a personal attack to someone who’s in the middle of their own journey with strong beliefs, come across in a multitude of ways you haven’t even considered by people on all spectrums of conscious and less conscious paths, or so much more.
Anyone on the same frequency stream as you, or that your frequency stream would be supportive to as the next step on someone’s path for what ever reason, will hear through to the energy behind the words.
All I can do is share from where I am in the present moment and I’ve been willing to vulnerably put my experience and thoughts out there publicly, knowing they will not resonate with everyone, let alone any kind of majority.
One must simply be and be okay with that.
And that is a huge part of health and vitality to me….simply being me, as most naturally as possible.
Health and vitality has a new face.
It’s the face of YOUR heart in harmony with YOU.
It is wholesome well-being.
There are so many messages out there about the way you need to look, how to improve your looks, and what products, diets, exercise routines, and surgeries will help you to achieve true beauty, health, and happiness. And I say, none of these things are the answer.
Although they can make changes in your appearance, most of it is temporary and often times you find yourself back at square one or having to continue to spend money or effort managing your external alterations.
And/Or, they ultimately don’t ever bring you true happiness, self love, and self confidence, keeping you on a quest for the next fix because they don’t change the core energy that is running the show.
Because if you don’t shift and align with what’s on the inside, the outside will always reflect that inevitably, once again, and your feelings about yourself will mirror the same.
Your body and appearance has its natural state, which will emanate and shine, exposing your true beauty (however that is meant to be), when you relax into, surrender to, and support expression of your unique essence out into the world.
When you truly love yourself, lovingly support your unique, creative self expression to flow through, and be and share who you really are and what you came here to be, then your natural beauty will shine and emanate for all to see.
And your body will know how to relax into its most perfect self expression on the outside, to mirror the inside, without trying to fit any certain mold that’s been conditioned and contrived as the definition of beauty.
You will reflect Nature’s beauty in all of Her forms and stages in Her cycles through that balanced state of BEING and self love.
True beauty DOES come from within.
You can achieve that healthy glow by shining your light with love for all that you are and not judging yourself in all of the different layers and processes of you, which are beautiful as the alchemy of your soul.
Then you’ll find your natural balance with the rest in terms of the lifestyle that works for you and the products that enhance rather than define you.
I spent a good portion of my late high school into adult life years battling acne and neither diet, exercise, product, medication, or positive affirmations worked.
I found the answer through self love, creative self expression, and living my essence out loud, which provided me the happiness and natural beauty that was truly me, balanced out my skin into the clarity that matched the clarity and flow I felt within, and which also created the body type and appearance that was the reflection of my natural essence.
And this has been the answer I have enjoyed, increasingly, for the last several years, bringing me to the most peaceful and joyous times of my life.
I was tuning in this morning to see what theme was important to support others with and again got that “being true to oneself”, “taking action on the feelings and intuitive guidance you have in support of that truth”, and “boundaries” were speaking out.
I also know that a lot of people have body image challenges and confusion around wellness “idealism” because of a lot of conditioned messages we’re bombarded by (more than you may even realize from all sources around you), which is why I reblogged and added to this older post of mine last week: True or False? I Am Perfect Just As I Am, which only but scratches the surface of some of these things.
(I went on this last weekend to having a really in-depth discussion about even more myths I started cracking that were so freeing when I brought them to light – you’d be surprised at even the seemingly “positive” conditioning that is controlling your life by some other people’s/person’s/collective idea of idealism)
Anyway, these themes all go hand-in-hand and all of them have a common thread of consistent self-assertion being important.
I then decided to go open up a couple of books I have from Shakti Gawain and Louise L. Hay to see what they may want to share on the subject for everyone and what do you know?
They had a couple of things to say on the pages I opened to that went right along with this and that were in line with one another.
So here are just a few words from Shakti and Louise to help you to begin a new dialogue with yourself, open new perspectives, trigger a shift, and inspire you into living a more authentic, healthy, balanced, and empowered life.
From Shakti Gawain:
Assert Yourself Consistently
“The most important key to creating your perfect body is learning to assert yourself consistently in your life. For example, overweight people may have a pattern of doubting themselves, of being afraid to trust their feelings and act on them. We especially need to learn how to say no to others when we don’t want to do something. Overweight people often try to please and take care of others. When our first priority is to please and take care of others, we are denying who we really are and what we really feel. When we are afraid to be true to ourselves, our bodies will always serve us by reflecting those fears, so we can become conscious of them and heal them.”
“The key to asserting yourself is to take action on your feeling and intuition. I have seen people begin to lose weight or become physically healthier simply by doing something they’ve been afraid to do, or by expressing some feeling they’ve suppressed. By becoming more assertive, underweight people become more willing to take up space in the world. By continuing to speak and act your truth, you will dissolve blocks and find your proper weight.”
Risk Asserting Yourself
“At first the prospect of asserting yourself moment to moment can be frightening. We are not used to stating what we need and taking the action necessary to give it to ourselves. It takes a conscious effort for us to tune in to how we feel and to risk doing it. But once you start, you’ll want to keep doing it. You will have more energy and look more radiant.”
Balancing weight easily and naturally
“Once overweight people learn true assertion, they are often able to lose weight easily and naturally, without any type of deprivation. The increased energy circulating in their bodies dissolves the blocked energy and the extra weight gradually melts away. They do not need it for strength or protection so they release it effortlessly. By the same process of assertion, underweight people release their fear and are able to take in more life and more nourishment. It becomes safe for them to take up more space. If any particular food plan is needed, they will be intuitively led to an appropriate nutritional consultant and diet.”
From Louise L. Hay:
“We need to do more than just treat the symptom. We need to eliminate the cause of the dis-ease. We need to go within ourselves where the process of illness began.
Listen to your body’s messages.
The body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of your inner thoughts and beliefs. Every cell responds to every single thought you think and every word you speak. (My personal note: And might I add, and EVERYTHING that you FEEL)
Good health is having no fatigue, having a good appetite, going to sleep and awakening easily, having a good memory, having good humor, having precision in thought and action, and being honest, humble, grateful and loving. How healthy are you?
Only accept what is best for you.
Some people don’t know how to say ‘no.’ The only way they know how to say ‘no,’ is to be ill.
If I threw a hot potato at you, what would you do with it? Would you catch it? Would you hold it while it was burning your hand? Why would you even catch it? Why don’t you just step out of the way? It is possible to refuse anything, even a gift. Are you aware of that?”
It’s so awesome to continue seeing more and more conscious, multi-faceted places popping up and this one in Los Angeles is really cool. It’s called The Springs and it’s located in the Downtown Los Angeles Arts District.
The Springs is run by co-founders Kimberly Helms and Jared Stein, both from New York, who were set on creating the dream idea Jared had. They moved to LA two and a half years ago and within the first two years they raised the $1.3 million they needed and now are a huge hit making a profit after only their first 6 months in business.
Who said dreams can’t come true?
The Springs serves 100% organic raw vegan food in their restaurant and wine bar. They also have an organic juice bar, yoga studio, and wellness center that includes such services as gravity colon hydrotherapy, infrared sauna, massage, cranio-sacral, Reiki, acupuncture, nutritional and lifestyle consultations, and more! They also host live music, parties, and sound bath healings.
They aim to create “a hub for health-conscious consumers, wellness-seekers, and foodies, as an eco-vegan-mind-body-one-stop-shop.”
Health, wellness, sustainability, and community all under one urban oasis roof!
So excited to check this place out soon, now that I just learned about it.
For more about this awesome place please visit: The Springs
You can also read this article by Brooks Barnes, reporter in the Los Angeles bureau of The New York Times: A Place in Los Angeles for Vegans and Their Non-Vegan Friends
A good share on how meditation supports you on all levels, especially the big one many people struggle with – stress management.
Any level of quiet meditative time you can invest will do you good. And that simply also includes stillness and doing nothing.
Sometimes you simply would do well to unplug from everything. Don’t try to figure anything out. Don’t try to analyze and find answers. Just feel into your body and really sit with what is revealed in that experience. Be quiet. Do nothing. Think nothing. Just feel and listen.
This is far more valuable than anything you can fill your time with forcing yourself to do.
This article has some great “science” behind meditation and its benefits to you.
Thank you Stephanie and Ascension Angels for sharing!
Written interview with Jenny Yemaya, founder of the Atlantis Rejuvenation Center – all about healing and wellness – by Annabel Ruffell…
Here is the latest interview of Jenny Yemaya, founder of the Atlantis Rejuvenation Center (ARC) by Annabel Ruffell, founder of Journey for Earth.
As many of you know, Jenny is my dear friend whom I partner with in creating empowering retreats in Bimini at The ARC, like this July’s “Accelerate Your Vibration” retreat.
This is a great little insight on the loving and mysterious woman, Jenny, so you can learn more about her personal journey and how The ARC came to be.
My name is Annabel Ruffell and I am the founder of Journey for Earth, a global awareness company committed to inspiring change for humanity, the environment and animals, one choice at a time.
I learned of Jenny’s work through an article I came across and loved what she is doing in the Bahamas. Raw living foods, swimming with wild dolphins, holistic education & exercise….what could be better?!
ARC Founder Jenny Yemaya has spent the past 16 years interacting and working with wild dolphins and whales in Bimini and around the world. She has travelled extensively to various vortex points and sacred sites, connecting the dots on the planetary grid and working with the energies. In 2008, Jenny Yemaya qualified as a Health Educator at Hippocrates Health Institute in South Florida and set up Raw Dolphins Retreats and iDetoxHolidays UK. Her passion is to offer a complete rejuvenation experience, teaching…
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My personal journey led me on a natural progression
to follow a raw vegan diet, which for me was simply a process of
becoming aware that my body was telling me what my soul already
knew and desired. A time for change and evolution was to take place for
me. I realized that my body had reacted cellularly, even before it could
Eating products from animals would affect my stomach, making
me feel ill and certain products would also make me cough with extreme
and irritated congestion. As a sensitive and empath, anything relating to animals would affect me greatly.
The more I opened myself up to embracing who I was, acknowledging the
path I was on and where it was to lead me, the more it manifested in my life
clearly, as to the steps I needed to personally take in terms of everything, including my conscious food choices. This helped to align myself with the choices that were most supportive to living the life that I believed in and came into this life to express. It also simultaneously helped to raise my vibration and provide better clarity and vibrant energy. It increased my sense of connectivity, depth of compassion, unconditional love, joyful exuberance for life, as well as supported creative inspiration, and channeling my authenticity, as a direct reflection of my chosen spiritual nature.
This was “MY” path and time, for change and understanding on a
whole new level, which would start to take shape in my dietary choices. For me,
my diet, health choices, lifestyle, beliefs, service and creative expression were starting to
all interweave and become cohesive. I believe in being consistent with my spirituality and honoring what I feel in my heart and what I soulfully believe. And I can’t tell you how much my experience of life has changed with this choice. Life gets to be as bright,
colorful, beautiful, succulent, and as vast as the variety found in Mother Earth’s natural beauty. And the array of veggie delights are no exception!
It was just simply time for me to experience life in a different way and
to live and choose consciously. And so for me, while the trigger was a message from my physical, the core driving force for my decision was heart-felt and spiritual. I see life to be about consistency and walking the walk and so I do my best not only to be the change I want to see, but to live by what I believe and feel in my heart is right for me.
That is what works for me and it’s important, to me, that I be consistent with the
energy I am putting out there and what it is I am sharing with others. So what
you see, is what you get. There are no “behind closed doors” behaviors and thoughts in my world.
I feel that part of my journey is to live my life openly so that
others can feel safe to do the same. It’s not about right or wrong, but about
being true to yourself, whatever that means. I feel it is important to listen
to what our bodies tell us and to go with what feels natural. Part of knowing
and understanding what is natural is to understand what is authentic to you and
what is not, and to find that right balance.
It is increasingly important to become more conscious and to be more proactive in decisions and choices, to listen more to ourselves and to keep informed, but with a wise filter that takes in only what feels right and is not just accepting of whatever the
majority is doing. So many of us don’t know why we do certain things, and never even think to stop to ask the question why, as we are much of the time on auto-pilot. We just
do it because it’s what we’ve always done, or it’s “just the way it
is,” or it’s what we’ve been shown or taught, or it’s what everyone else
around us is doing.
And sometimes we think change is too challenging and believe a sense of loss or isolation will happen, or that it’s just too hard or timely to figure out how to do it differently. These beliefs, while valid because you believe them, are the very and only thing that holds you back from the change. As what lies on the other side of the wall you can’t see over, holds more joy, freedom and fulfillment than what you think you have now. The only hurdle is the decision to step over or stop straddling the wall, if in fact that is what you want. And there are many to help support you, moreso than ever before. And the process is so much easier now than it used to be, because so many are paving the way, which energetically creates an open path for everyone else to easily follow.
I follow what I am feeling as true to my heart and authentic self, as much as possible, in the moment, and if in question as to where those thoughts or behaviors came from,
then I ponder their source and explore their authenticity to my life. Is this really a me thought or feeling? Does this feel right to me? Does this match the authentic me I have come to know? Is it consistent with everything I believe in and my passionate service? Is this the desired result I want to see in the world around me? How will my authentic decisions affect not only me, but the collective? Does it matter to me that my decisions create an effect on the struggles, pains, traumas and tortures of all other beings that walk this Earth with me?
In learning to follow my natural flow, I also realize that just like nature and the Earth, we all go through cycles. Some of us more than others. And it is important to listen to what your body and intuition is telling you. Doing things just because you are good at discipline doesn’t always produce the most benefit to your life. Doing things because it is your heart’s passion and consistent with your core beliefs and authentic self, will reap abundant fulfillment without feeling a sense of loss. And along with this, there are times our bodies and paths energetically need certain things more than others. Not because some doctor, the FDA, commercial, or article you read said so, but because your body, heart and soul needs so.
This leads me to vary the percentage of raw vegan and cooked vegan foods I may
intake at any given time. I have been vegan since 2005 and raw since
2008. I find that I mainly fluctuate between 85-90% raw (lately more like 50-50 with changes and needs in my life), depending on how I feel and circumstances I desire to put myself in. That is, I balance raw with vegan cooked foods, but if I do cooked I always try to choose very healthy, light, organic options including things like steamed veggies and rice, tofu, beans, etc. I allow myself a few vices too, when I have a craving, and
usually if i honor that, then I’m not in need of having it all the time. I have found
this balance to be very healthy, to feel good, and keeps me grounded and at optimal functioning, as well as maintains a level of tolerance in my body that enables me to travel and be in different social situations when needed.
It also supports honoring my body’s natural rhythms and needs, which allows me to flow more and to not be so structured. It feels good to keep a balance and to simply listen to what the body needs at any given moment and not what the mind thinks it needs. There
are times outside of balancing that I can be very extreme, briefly varying
my percentages even more, depending on what my body is relaying to me, if
I’m traveling and at social events or outings. I will then supplement the
balance of my diet choices with very healthy, vegan cooked foods. Yet, I always
make healthy, conscious, preferably organic choices.
I personally believe, and have experienced, that vegan foods really support more conscious, clear, healthy, harmonious and loving vibrations for individuals and the collective planet. Any small shifts towards some vegan foods, in your own way and timing, can be extremely transformative and effective in your life and for the Earth. And supplementing at least some raw vegan veggies/foods or green juices can increase all of that to an even more optimal level and when needed, can produce miraculous results in reversing illnesses, shifting behaviors and emotional challenges, as well as create clearer channels of creative inspiration and vibrancy.
No matter how I swing, I ALWAYS maintain a 100% strict vegan diet across the board, which means I never consume any animal products, and I make every conscious effort not to purchase any commodity that comes from, or has been tested on, animals.
For the sake of being open, I also have personally opted to leave all alcohol out of my life (not touching any for the last 6 years )and have never once in my life touched a cigarette or any form of drug or mind-altering substance. These are all personal choices and my chosen path because they authentically mirror “my” beliefs and what is authentic to me and my heart and what makes me feel I’m operating at my optimal. Everyone has their own path and it is not for any of us to judge what that path is. For myself, I have just never had any resonance towards certain things since I was a little girl and part of that stems from my desire to utilize my own capacity and abilities to go to desired states of experience. Interestingly, I have been told that some of the art I create is similar to what some have seen in their altered states. Hence, I have no reason personally to go there. My inner world, imagination, dreams, and “travel” are crazy enough as it is!
For me also, a high raw diet is what feels most balanced and healthy and I can instantly feel the difference when I stray off of that, unless cooked vegan foods support more of the energy I’m needing. I also prefer simple, light raw foods and unless I’m out, I don’t
do too much of the complex or high nut raw meals. My body operates much more
smoothly with low nut density and less complexity, but do enjoy gourmet foods
when I’m out or feasting with friends!
I follow what my body tells me, consciously, and I find that the less I try to create rules, the more my body falls into its natural rhythm and doesn’t have to do the extremes as often.
And, if it does, I allow it and by doing so it quickly gets back into finding a new, healthy balance, which is ever-changing as I am, because I honored it.
Being vegan, or for that matter a vegan raw foodist, is not as hard or
challenging as one would first think. There is always a way to simplify things
and there are so many restaurants and services available these days that truly
help make life more convenient if you don’t have enough time yourself to
prepare or shop for meals and ingredients. I find restaurants to be very
accommodating if you simply ask! Asking is the key and most chefs are much more
than willing to do what they can to help your dietary needs and a lot of times
find it an adventurous or exciting task to step outside of their normal routine
box of menu items to explore their creativity. Chef and delivery services are
another option, as well as local meetups and potlucks.
I used to live in Reno, where I did not have all the plethora of options as I do here in Southern California, but I STILL managed to get what I needed, whether thru personal chef services, ordering out-of-state weekly meal boxes from such places as “Seed” in Northern California or Rawvolution in LA, getting quick and easy recipe books to do myself and asking local chefs to help out. If I can do it, anyone can. Maybe if you have a friend or friends interested as well in switching diets, you can each take turns making meals. Make them in servings that can be enough for each of you to share and it will cut down on the amount of time to prepare yourself.
There is so much variety to explore out there in terms of food, life and experience. Part
of the key is in being open to change and trying new things, to explore new
horizons and possibilities and above all to live life with conscious choice.
Sometimes we neglect to ask ourselves the questions like, “Why do I do this?” and don’t follow through with the answers. Perhaps because we don’t want to really know the answers for fear of what that might mean to our lives as we’ve known them, or that we might find ourselves alone, which never really is accurate, as the moment you make a decision and act upon it, suddenly you draw in resonating others that mirror the new choice.
If we stop to be curious for a moment, we may hear a different voice speaking through that could energetically change the way we see and experience life, may affect our
health, draw in interesting synchronicities and like-mindedness from others on
similar paths and wave-lengths and expand our awareness in
Everyone has their own journey along the path of life and everyone is operating on their own time, which is EXACTLY as it should be. Yet, everything is happening in
synchronicity and cohesiveness and unravels perfectly. The beauty of life
is choice. With choice, there are eternal possibilities and such is ALL THAT IS
– it is eternal and ever-changing. What would be the purpose of life if we were
all the same? So while I celebrate the beauty of the creatures of our Earth, I
also celebrate the beauty of every human who shares it with them.
Nutrition can be a spiritual experience and enhances your spiritual nature.
Conscious choices are empowering choices.