I thought I’d hop on briefly after being away from blogging the last ten days, just to share some of the beauty, special moments, and reflections I’ve experienced during this time. Maybe you’ve felt similar things or this little burst of nature’s inspiration may be exactly the breath of fresh air for you right now. In any event, I hope that you had a beautiful Summer Solstice, however you chose to welcome it in.
I’m still spending most of my time within the inner landscapes, but that is reflected in an increased deepening with nature and immersing even more in her realm.
This mirrors the time we lived in the Magick Bus exploring nature and National Parks for nearly a year and a half when life called me in a new direction. It’s only now that I’m getting what it all meant and where the embodiment of that change was leading.
It’s almost been like getting my feet wet again in body, from what was a resurrection of sorts from the waters of life – actually most literally. I have needed the last couple of years to reacquaint myself with things from a new perspective, which has had me dipping in and out of some things from before, tried out in the now.
Some clothes just haven’t fit, either feeling too tight or too loose – meaning they were still too tied in with the past and the energy I had completed, or they were so new that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and hence all the extra room to explore.
It’s been a time of allowing what ever wants to move through, letting go of to-do’s, and softening the reflections so that even my process with things doesn’t mirror how I used to process stuff. Life is a soft and gentle focus now. In this way, not only will what ever the new is that comes through be different than before, but the journey will be too.
I find it important for me that nothing mirrors the past, although can weave in the possibilities it held.
It still feels very fresh and I’m only beginning to immerse, as last week was more about the surrender, continued nurturing, and letting nature guide me.
So, with Solstice ringing in Summer, there’s been a ton of outdoor activity. It started Wednesday of last week while we explored a new hike to Cascade Falls – a shorter one, but climbs technically quite a bit. That felt invigorating and perfect for allowing the flow just like the gushes of water cascading down the mountain. Both the climb and the being with the water were perfect metaphors for things.
That same day we went to Baldwin Beach – another new beach for us. There, a mother duck and her seven ducklings visited and after they explored the higher activity of people down a ways from us, they came to rest in peace in front of our umbrella. Another beautiful reflection.
Thursday was a very special day – the two year anniversary of Astrid’s coming home to me at the gateway of Solstice. That’s what these first three photos celebrate. Since Astrid is such a huge part of this new life journey for me, I felt it important to capture some beautiful moments between us in the forest portal backyard of our house.
She was a surprise to me, but as I navigate this next part of my life, Astrid is my greatest guide. Where I have no example for the new I reinvent, she emulates the potential I most admire.
I love this photo below where she and I look merged as one – almost creating a Yin/Yang effect in how her body curves into mine.
Solstice is a very special time of the year for me ever since three years ago my beloved bunny, Joy, transitioned through its portal on that day in a place very dear to me – Montana. She and Astrid came from the same rabbit rescue and I feel that their entering and exiting at this gateway is significant.
The Mayans celebrated Solstice for spiritual initiation and change, creating ceremony to be in harmony with the Earth and Cosmic energies.
I remember the words from my dear shaman friend Amaru in Peru, “Nokan Inti Kani” – meaning “I am the Sun.”
Solstice extends an invitation to join the Sun’s energy and connect with your Higher Self, follow inspiration and dreams, and tune inside to the alchemy of “as within, so without.”
I find nature to be that gateway for me, as are my rabbit companions, and the Cosmos.
The Solstice gateway gifted me this beautiful golden hawk feather that I’m so grateful for.
So every day since Wednesday, nature time increased with tons of mountain biking, hiking, and beach time, as well as late afternoon/evening gardening time upon returning home from the physical activity.
To say I slept well is an understatement, as the deepening into body and moving a lot of energy in a grounding way was both nourishing and took me through cycles of decharge and recharge.
Solstice saw us in Squaw Valley where I enjoyed an intentional walk in the gorgeous meadows by myself anchoring in that new while Dave enjoyed his last day of skiing on the first day of Summer. You’ll see photos below of how beautiful this area is, reminding me of both the Swiss Alps (where I haven’t yet been, but seen photos of) and adored Iceland, as well as my favorite spots in Montana.
Seventeen miles of biking along the Truckee River that day was a way to move the energy and flow like the river.
Twenty two miles of biking the next day continued moving that energy along more gorgeous vistas.
All the while during each ride, allowing visions, thoughts, and feelings to flow, as my body did the integrating.
Two back-to-back hikes to different lakes Sunday followed by a vegan potluck picnic provided continued anchoring and as I said, each day I’d come home and plop myself in the garden planting perennials to create a low maintenance, inspiring, and beautiful backdrop that blends wild with a little intention.
I promised the Faeries of the land many things when moving here and I’m happy to create a special sanctuary for them to play in.
I’ll share more of the front and side gardens, as things blossom, but for now here are my beautiful Portulaca blooms that I adore!
The forest out back is in early stages of bloom, but as you can see they are already creating a welcome carpet to our home for the Faeries.
I just love how the wildflowers are blooming with joy everywhere – and it’s just the beginning. They feel like a love spell on my heart.
And as you can see from the below photos of Squaw Valley meadows, the Truckee River, and Cascade Falls, there’s been an abundance of inspiration all around from Mother Earth – the best nurturer there is.
As mentioned, I’m just beginning to immerse into a new realm of exploration within, so all of these good nature vibes are very nurturing to the vulnerable parts feeling safe to come through.
Because I feel that I haven’t much example to draw upon for that new, I feel nature provides me the best template and reflection for the journey.
Cultivating the garden is also very supportive, as my heart guides its creation in reflection of me as well – mostly wild, with woven threads of cultivated pockets that create synergy and harmony.
This last Wednesday I went to my third meditation group meeting that ended in a lovely picnic dinner at the beach with everyone who joined, however I feel it will likely be my last time going (at least for now) because I’m clear my work at home is more aligned for me at this time. I did leave the group with a few book recommendations to help with the “self love” topic, so they at least have some tools for any exploration they may decide to embark on past this month’s theme.
I feel called to explore on my own for now, dipping in and out when the moment calls.
The good news is (at least to me), I feel like I’m in greater alignment with the new path I’m creating than I was before. Remember I mentioned those clothes that felt too tight or too big and loose?
Energetically the ones that felt too big are now taking root and feeling more like home.
And on the literal, tangible level, the continued cleansing of, and weeding through, my closet leaves me with what feels to be the perfect essence of a place I now feel comfortable in heading to.
What’s fascinating is that the five Portal Paintings that found their new home, only just departed from Nevada on the Solstice – Yes! The Solstice of all days! Talk about divine alignment. Even though I dropped them off a week and a half earlier, they didn’t get crated and shipped out until then and so that also feels reflective of this anchoring in and clarity beginning.
The whole wild journey to get them to that point has mirrored so much of the changes I’m going through.
I’m excited for them to arrive in their new home across the country in Athens, Georgia with their amazing co-guardian where they will be open to anyone who wants to visit and meditate/work with them. This new home is being created into a form of a mini healing center welcome to people wanting to immerse in a conscious journey. As things evolve with that, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a way that people can experience them and more, and if at some point they are ready to journey on, they will be available via that portal.
I leave you now to return to my garden so I can complete the last planting I didn’t get a chance to finish yet. It feels integral to the next phase beginning.
What I love is that although the future is unknown and the vision is yet to be seen of how things look, the journey is so much more gentle and peaceful. There are those ebbs and flows, but it’s all naturally unfolding if I listen, allow, honor, and observe.
Do you experience reflections in your life that mirror the changes you’re going through?
My guess is we all do and if we stop to observe things, we’ll see it and make those connections.
If not, how might you create intention around something – like a project, gardening, etc. – to embody the potential you’re being guided to?
It will be interesting to see where the journey leads all of us.
I’ll keep this post short and sweet by kicking off with thanking those of you who joined in on the New Moon Gratitude Giveaway. Because of a busy week, it took me a while to go through the lists from people who decided to see it all the way through with me and us. I hadn’t had opportunity until this morning to go through things and post the recipients of the four gifts I promised as a way of honoring your commitment.
The four people in no particular order are:
I’ll be contacting each of you to get your gifts out. I was truly moved by the experiences you had with this and how meaningful you found it to be. I honor each of you for doing this challenging work.
This last week has been both full and full circle for me. It has solidified some things and put others into motion. Wednesday through Friday were particularly shifting, as well as a bit exhausting, yet pivotal clarity came as to a phase I chose three years ago.
I had only snippets of what it meant, but am understanding more what is in alignment with it. It’s a new phase that hasn’t an example to reflect for me, so it will be both a challenge and adventure to reinvent things.
It is because of this that the regular Ask Astrid Fridays blog didn’t come in yesterday and because of things she and I are committing to working on together, we’ll be taking at least the next week off from any blogging as well.
Depending on how much we move through, will depend on how the next week looks, but I at least want one full week to dive in deep so that I can get a handle on and anchor in a new experience we’re reinventing.
Once it feels to be in motion, I’ll be better able to schedule in other things.
This feels supportive also to my being very inward these days and needing more space for myself.
Thursday is a big day for the two of us leading into Summer Solstice on Friday. This is a special time and sacred portal that feels especially supportive for igniting what we’re focusing on right now.
We hope it will be a beautiful doorway for your light as well.
Thank you again to everyone who delved into the self gratitude and giving in the way that felt right for you. I hope you’ll continue to implement this into your life to become a natural part of living.
I feel this one will speak to a lot of you right now.
May has flown by, but I’ve definitely been experiencing the contraction before expansion that Lee reflects here, and the full circle moments.
Which of the themes are coming up for you?
Astrid has been both extra loving outward AND open to and willing to ask for extra love for herself these days. And while she has been demonstrating this, I’ve noticed myself turning even more attention to self-nurturing than I already do and hearing from others who are finding circumstances and cycles making it essential that they, too, turn the love light back on to themselves as well.
The above photo shows her giving to, and receiving from her calming and powerful master amethyst rabbit friend. She spends a lot of time tuning in with, giving velvety tongue kisses to, and laying next to her crystals, to include the three giant quartz you see to her right – the golden and pinky lilac quartz from Tahoe and the smaller one in front from Montana – found right after Joy transitioned, on one of the most magickal Faery hikes ever not far from her place of departure.
Nurturing is a vital element of well-being, growth, productivity, and ability to thrive. There is much our hearts long to do and give out, but we simply can’t only be flowing energy in one direction. We know this concept, but do we put it into action?
If we don’t slow down, many times we find ourselves forced to.
If we get stuck in our heads, our hearts will cry out.
If we’re tired, but keep pushing, our bodies give out.
If something needs our attention, it’s sure to get it.
If we overextend our energy, the boundaries we haven’t exercised become strict teachers drawing the lines for us.
If we simply need a pause or extra softening to ensure well-being, our emotions may feel extra sensitive so that we nurture more tenderness to ourselves.
While Astrid and I have been re-evaluating and redirecting ourselves, I’ve noticed that both the changes that are formulating and my own body’s rhythms are needing extra attention that involves even more self-care and self-love.
As I get closer to 50, hormones are shifting, more solidity in myself is forming, and more questions come up as to the life I/we want to create for the time remaining.
This creates more reflection and sensitivity that desires a lot of love be directed within and Astrid is mirroring this with the evolution of her growth as well. This brings the two of us in even stronger bond together, as we navigate this new cycle we’re stepping into.
A new level of awareness and embodied response seems to be in motion.
I find myself implementing more self-care routines, listening to my body’s needs, and creating greater clarity of alignment.
Sleep has always been important to me on many levels, but lately I find myself so enamored with that time of day when I lay my head on my pillow. Although the day is full of enriching things, I so look forward to that time of restoration and dream work at night. It feels like it’s own elixir and healing supplement.
As I have been writing this, Astrid has been to my left suspended in a state of meditation – quite literally. I’ve never seen her do this before, but she was in a position where her head was bowed down in a curve fully toward her heart, like the neck of a graceful swan, and has held it there for minutes on end, with eyes in a tranced deep state and her not budging.
Her shape also creates the effect of one half of a heart.
Synchronously, I was feeling how she and I seem to have been expressly made for each other as a reflection and other half, while I then noticed her in this suspended position.
She always knows what I’m thinking – or rather, she simultaneously sends me the message that becomes my own thought.
We are definitely two halves of a shared heart.
And that seems to be her message to me.
We are mirroring the needs and awareness our hearts speak.
And all of the love and special nurturing and understanding I extend to her, ultimately is about touching my own heart that she reflects.
I believe her message is simple.
We may think we are only feeling strongly compelled to give to and nurture others and what touches our hearts out there, but even if we don’t ever want to look further into what anything means, ultimately the connection we share to everything is glowing brightly from our heart within.
Perhaps that’s why so many healers, therapists, counselors, teachers, creatives, visionaries, activists, etc. are compelled by helping others or a cause.
Some call it the wounded healer, but it’s simply a desire to love ourselves as the reflection we love out there.
And when we love out there, to realize how much we love what’s in here.
It’s walking through life with full open heart, flowing in and out.
It shifts how we respond to life simply carrying the awareness of connection.
Both Astrid and I have been feeling this Scorpio Full Moon in the days leading up to it quite strongly. I wasn’t paying attention specifically to it, but Astrid just like all rabbits, was hugely attuned to the Moon and the Cosmic frequencies pulsing through Earth. She gave me her wise and endearing look when I had that a-ha moment of connecting dots to recent experiences with the energies abound. She knows I don’t need confirmations of things, but that it does put reason to the rhyme of cycles that take place seemingly out of the blue.
There is definitely a collective release taking place and a ton is shifting on the subtle inner landscapes, which I feel is what is happening to so many people I’ve heard from where there’s a mix of intensity surging through alongside breakthroughs. It’s also what’s playing out on the world-wide level.
I recently explained it like this to a dear friend after my post about releasing the In Lak’ech series of Five paintings:
After posting that yesterday, I found myself done for the day. It was kind of a collapse or surrender. I am feeling the collective release it involves, which I feel is taking place right now across the globe, as we enter greater depths of these shadow parts finally. They are awakening to the conscious level more, or at least starting to surface or break away… this reminds me of cleaning a caked-on greasy pan in sink water. The more you scrub, the dirtier and murkier the water gets, and it might take a while to scratch away at it, but small particles release and eventually surface before everything is wiped away. It feel like the collective is at these stages of scrubbing and releasing stuff into the consciousness pool and now we’re all figuring out what to do with them and what kind of clarity we would like to see come from it. And individually, we’re doing this too for the collective…Although I know we are constantly cracking these codes to free us of conditioned enslavement, the impact on these subtle levels is so tricky. We may see it, or not, but then to actually do something with it is a whole other thing.
We are left with a dilemma, when once we tap into more of our true power, as to what we want to create from here on forth.
Astrid and I have both been going through a huge purging on the outer landscape, to reflect what we’re shifting on the inner landscape.
I shared about it on my Instagram and that’s what the photo above is about, which felt so fitting for Astrid’s post message today about letting go.
This was the caption I used for it:
After a year and a half of enjoying her royal throne, with only small redecorating touches recently, she decided to follow in mom’s footsteps and completely go wild with change. She’s been watching me with wide eyes, as first I did tiny changes (and so she mirrored that) and then I undid both our shared office space and my bedroom closet, throwing things on the floor and bed big time (and so she did the same), as I completely revamped everything with the biggest Spring purge and reorganizing I’ve done to date. Immediately in response, Astrid decided to go crazy on her chair and not only broke through the pretty adornments I’d added for her from her last redecorating choice, but took out the foam insides into bunches of pieces! I couldn’t do anything but laugh when I saw her laying like this so proud with evidence of her work all around her, as if to say to me, “look at the work I’ve done too so I can embrace the new!” So, I’ve since redecorated her center rug without chair, which she’s feeling out and enjoying so far. I did find another chair, in case she decides she wants one again, that I think may work very well for her without need for “redecorating” but am holding off to see how she likes the new set up first and will go from there. Gotta love her! We’re so much alike!
We are both enjoying the fresh openness created by these changes, which allows for the new to flow in more freely and easily. It’s also enabled us to draw in what is frequency-aligned because of our shifts, while also holding an open free space for the unknowns we can’t see yet to find their way to us.
Sometimes we don’t know what is to come or what something looks like that we want, but in letting go, we clear our energy fields so the clarity of that authentic-now inner voice can bring to us the perfect things we had no idea with our minds would be for our highest.
A clear heart draws in clarity.
We become the abundant beings that we are and the way to draw in something aligns all on its own because of taking that action of trust.
Every time we trust and release, abundant energies continue as they are meant to, by flowing in and out.
This Scorpio Moon highlights letting go, regenerating, deepening, intensifying, creating more intimacy with all of our parts, reclaiming our essence and inner wisdom, delving into the mystique and magick of the inner labyrinth, invoking greater courage, clarifying more understanding, making way for the new, and reviewing or perhaps even renewing any intentions you may have.
A flooding of emotions can definitely be part of this, as fears, deep unconscious and shadowy stuff releases into light.
I’ve noticed that since Astrid’s chair was removed, she’s spent a lot of time on the center of her round sparkly green, grass-looking rug under her favorite black iron butterfly sleigh where magickal things sit atop the three platforms that float above her.
It feels to be like an etheric rabbit tunnel of that deep mystery, magick, and Cosmic abyss she is harnessing for transmutation.
I get that she wanted some more open space right now as a clear slate she and I can create from.
Astrid shares, “As you write your new story, so am I. And yet, we are writing it together. One that tells of many journeys yet to share in ways creativity has yet to birth. We are engaging a Cosmic excavation accessed deep within our hearts and it connects us both to the heart of ourselves, and to one another – to include all consciousness. Most importantly it connects us to the heart of creation that is ours to weave anew. So what holds you back? Although time is an idea, there is no greater moment than now to begin. It doesn’t matter what has gone before. With every discomfort and stretch you dismantle the hold of roots awaiting the elixir of your love. What blossoms is of your making.”
I don’t know about any of you, but I for one have enough of anyone writing my story for me. And that includes the stuff I carry as both past fears, perceived limitations, and shared ancestral and collective conditioning.
Astrid is a protector of the sacred, embodied in a strong, courageous, and enduring rabbit body. She walks the worlds of both light and dark. She is both warrior and harmony keeper. She is a bridge of understanding and compassion because she has walked in each reality and can move in and out when necessary. She is action-oriented and also eternally patient.
She is a warrior of unconditional love in its highest form.
Today happens to be Cosmo’s birthday – my sweet rabbit son in the stars. He would have been 13.
He is an ambassador of love and compassion in pure essence.
Astrid is like the great guardian or protector of what he stands for both because she is the same AND because she has extra layers that enable her to merge into worlds he needn’t step into. He is the energy and she both is that energy as well as protects it with the ability to engage on levels that invoke the seed of potential to stir.
We all have different gifts and to embrace with clarity what they are is part of this letting-go energy through self-reflection that permeates.
If we are willing to see the hidden, which can be engaged with curiosity and a willingness to simply observe it without judgment, we can begin to bridge a new and more clear understanding of what stories have been our motivations in life.
We can see what has been working overtime in the background simply because we didn’t acknowledge it.
To have that willingness to see something creates a click within.
Just because we see it, doesn’t mean it can hurt us.
It only hurts us when we don’t want to see it, so it sabotages our lives because it can.
Astrid and I send our deepest love to you during these reflective and intense energies. You are not alone.
This was going to just be a blog touching on the importance and value of art – something I often write about especially when I hear and see struggling artists, people unable to find a way to make a living with their artistic expression, people feeling their “art” not being taken seriously and just thrown aside as a hobby, or having a hard time to take leaps of faith with their creations because of such strong collective beliefs that have shaped their own.
This was percolating again when I was reading reviews of art that had been purchased in my Etsy shop and realizing how unless people come face-to-face with the experience of someone’s gift they have to share, that there can be a disconnect or devaluing that takes place. Of course, this can be connected to the feelings we have come to believe about ourselves, that are innocently conditioned.
Here is an example of just one review:
“Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I received your creations. I was a bit taken aback how stunningly beautiful they are in real life! The photos just don’t do them justice. In real life they are on a whole new level!!! I guess original art really has something so special that can’t be reproduced….”
That’s not to say that even when the art IS experienced, that someone appreciates its true value, but there’s definitely more understanding when something becomes tangible, they hear an artist share about their work in person, or when a person truly takes the time to “sit” with the work of art and receive from it.
It’s invaluable, to say the least. And this is why I support so many artisans over purchasing a lot of commercial items because there truly is a depth and richness to things made from the heart.
There tends to be a disconnect with the amount of energy, time, love, thoughtfulness, vulnerable soul-processing, and skill that creators imbue into everything they make. It’s why I love those one-of-a-kind and original pieces that bring me closer to the artist’s intentions.
That’s not to say you can’t receive from duplicates, prints, etc., as there is always an energy signature that will resound, but I love being that close to the seedling of creative impetus infused within the first birthing.
True, it will be more costly, so it’s not something I/we can always bring home, but when something really speaks to me, I don’t question the value placed on an item, as I know as an artist how much is poured into every creation that can never be measured in these terms.
I desire so much that more and more artists will get to flourish and share their gifts with the world.
I hope for the collective to tip the scales back in balance, so we honor, appreciate, and value the arts as we once did – the storytellers, mystics, artisans, visionaries, medicine people, astrologers, musicians, dancers, healers….were all revered.
I’m seeing a shift happen and people starting to thrive again in these regards, but there are still so many struggling and so much energy holding in opposition to these shifts that artists are working overtime to change.
And that brings me to what I uncovered, as I was sitting with all of this and some of my own past works-of-art.
It wasn’t about value per say, but it was about attachment and feeling another layer of etheric tethers (as I put it to a dear friend) releasing.
Although I do remember how many times in my past I had to explain myself and the pricing of my art – especially when it came to some of my first commissioned pieces.
Two incidents in particular come to mind: I literally had to write a long proposal finely detailing hours and work involved to an attorney once and also had to prepare information to the president of a company I was doing a mural for to back up my proposed fee. The first grueling effort succeeded and the latter got knocked down in half, but was still courageous of me to put it out there, especially since one of my greatest fears was verbally expressing myself and public speaking.
But what came to me recently has to do particularly with the In Lak’ech “Five” series I brought to life between 2006 and 2009. I chronicle some of it in this post: In the Spirit of In Lak’ech
When first I timidly put them out on my website, feeling very vulnerable in sharing such depth, I listed them at $11,000 each. Not a strange price at all in the art world given their size, time invested, and being four feet by four feet originals.
I also made prints available, figuring that the originals would likely not be going anywhere anytime soon and wanting people to receive from them still.
But what I notice now in looking back is that I don’t believe at my core that I wanted to let these originals go.
Even though my highest vision and intention was that perhaps they’d find a home in a healing center or someone’s personal sacred home space, they spoke to something very sacred within me that perhaps felt like a violation to give away, at the time.
I can’t really put a word to it.
They were indeed like babies I’d birthed, but had truly never been created for me, as the channeling aspect going into them removes me from personal ego.
Yet, it was when out of that channeling space that personal was being tethered.
I may be one to look far deeper into things than most like, want to, or perhaps are over with doing anymore – I get it because overall I’m in that space of peaceful “being” more so now – but within one there is still the other and while I prefer the simple, my innocent curiosity simultaneously can feel the bigger encompassed within that – both sides of the coin exist even if focused elsewhere. And sometimes even if I’m not in that space myself, I will explain things out for others to better understand the process that may be more seamless in experience for me now. I find that helps people to relate and find connective threads for themselves.
So, how did this play out for me?
Well, it was a mix of that value of art I spoke of before AND personal attachment.
I remember once that someone very well-off (a millionaire in fact) where I was showing my work in their gallery space asked me about one of the Five and wanting to purchase it. I told him the price and he looked at me in a strange way. Not that he felt it wasn’t worth this, but my sense was he felt entitled as someone perhaps more worldly to take advantage of someone he deemed less than that. (Interestingly, a small theme included in some or one of these paintings.)
He proposed $1500 instead of the $11,000.
I, immediately said no, but did feel that weird grating inside mixed with everything around it all that I’m sure a lot of artists feel, including that flash of all the artists that have in fact accepted what ever they could get because they felt they had no choice, but there was something more too.
There were other incidents similar or went further to even just wanting me to give them to people starting up places they thought they’d add value to.
And then there were a few months where my art hung in a hair salon studio that brought together art events, where they told me that business boomed while my paintings were there and brought much intrigue and interest.
So, yes, I dealt with the value thing and seeing how these paintings were being experienced, but as mentioned, more importantly these pieces in particular hold such a sacredness to me and depth that truly it wasn’t about the money, but I was feeling protective of something within myself.
I realize now that I had mixed feelings that were tethering me to the experiences held within the portal paintings on a super-subconscious level.
While I’ve worked so much in the past to free myself and integrate the healing of these times within my and the collective’s soul history, there is an underlying comfort resonance in holding them, or identifying with them – basically allowing them to define me in behind-the-scenes way. Perhaps even fueling a sense of purpose I felt that recently I’ve been letting go of. AND, perhaps even still holding onto a self-imposed collective burden I felt to bear in that old martyr role.
It’s that super-shadow work often spoken of where you can’t make mental sense of it and there are many layers to the onion of feelings to unmask and get to the seed of it all. Some of which is purely your own and some that is collectively conditioned.
And in so much clearing out and truest desire to move beyond the unseen tethers that may not even by own, this suddenly hit me that I need to release these paintings rather than store them away in the dark recesses – literally they’re stored in a dark area of the garage to keep them safe from the elements and such right now, as we didn’t have any place to put them in the house, with all of the other paintings on the walls.
That’s interesting to me to have such powerful creations “hanging around” in the background.
So, my original “detached and collective reasons” for creating them returned to me, which was for them to be “out there” doing their work, especially at such pivotal times as now.
These originals are so potent that to have them stored away feels like an injustice, just as I don’t store crystals when I’ve moved – either taking them with me or moving them on to other guardians.
But I did end up having to store them when we lived in the Magick Bus RV for a year and a half. I remember setting them all up in the living room together before they were taken away. A friend came over who was picking up some things from me and ended up sitting with them for an hour taking them in and receiving rushes of energy, emotions, and visions. It was the first time they were all together like this in their original form and not prints, so it was profound for me to watch someone experience them as intended, but I obviously was still not realizing the attachment.
And to feel that subconscious tethering now reminds me to release fully from inner identifications to soul wounds/feelings over lifetimes. Not simply on mental or easy to find emotional levels.
That is the gift of these Five portals is to move energy and keep it moving – that’s why they are so alive. Working with them invokes an inner igniting to happen and can continue to work layers of their imprints in unearthing and beautiful ways.
Yet, the trick, as with anything is to flow and not get stuck in identification as defining and encapsulating.
It’s taken me all of these years to uncover the true gift within them.
And I am now able to truly release the paintings so they can be that experience for someone else.
I could keep them now, fully living in that freeing energy I’ve now discovered and harnessing it for endless renewal, but they were always meant for others.
The only way I would truly know their gifts is to have journeyed with them all of these years, so I’m grateful for the discovery – one that is very hard to put into words. I’m not sure I’ve explained it well here, but it was a huge shift that happened yesterday when I cracked the code within.
As the link I shared above about their process expresses, these paintings remind me of hieroglyphics mixed with sound coding and telepathy. A journey backwards and forwards in time and encompassing both my personal and a collective “history” spanning what I believe to be very pivotal timelinks carried within our very DNA.
While I process things differently these days and my life is more simplified, like these images that appear as snapshots, they are also encompassing of so much more.
These five pieces, except the last two that were combined in one year, took each a year to create on their 4 feet by 4 feet very detailed canvases. This in part due to my own processing, research, and discoveries, the collective timing, and travels I did to work with the energies at sacred sites across the globe.
I actually have a journal notebook I kept with all of the detailed research and coding I was discovering along the way and working out like a treasure map before starting to paint each of them.
They include encoded messages that are sound-woven and frequency-embedded for that transmutation.
These paintings were my interpretations and new perspectives of each element as seen through different astrological signs in their highest potential (Divine Male and Female aspects). They incorporate Mayan glyphs and act as integrative portals that bridge time and come through an ancient story that weaves Sumerian and Babylonian, Ancient Egyptian, Ancient Druid and Celtic Ireland, Atlantis and Lemuria, and the Cosmic Earth.
They are layered with energetic symbolism that can help shift things on a DNA level by simply viewing them – something I witnessed when I showed them a few times separately and some individuals would find themselves moved to sit and meditate with them. One time in particular stands out, seeing a young man with tears streaming down his face while sitting in front of Air.
And like Lee Harris spoke of in his last Energy Forecast for May about a new wave of people awakening to greater awareness than they have before in different ways and being more ready for conversations they weren’t open to in the past, I’m seeing how the original seed of intention in these paintings is more relevant now than when first created.
This has led me to truly release them to the world this time and whomever might feel called to them.
While that “value of art” thing is still very important I feel in helping to shift things collectively and bringing awareness and honor to the creative arts and even our relationship to nature because the arts connect us with the “nature within,” I am ready to let them go at huge discount simply because I feel the importance of their living out their purpose.
Like the mother must release their child at some point to live their life, I do the same and know I am no less or more because of their physical presence in my life.
I had thought about offering them each at $2000 instead of their original $11,000, and all five for $10,000 – less than one’s value, but I’m now going to open it to best offers so that they can truly go where they can do the work they were meant to and fulfill the vision I had of them as meditation pieces, either individually or as a collective story for integrative healing on deepest levels.
So, if one or all of them speak to any of you, please let me know of your desires and we’ll go from there.
I do have to reiterate that these are 4 feet by 4 feet, so I will have to ask that shipping be covered as well because they will take special packaging and shipping costs.
The five are shared throughout this post in the order they were created. I hope you enjoy viewing them again, as much as I’ve enjoyed resurrecting them in a new way.
And if they don’t find new homes, this whole process is still rich in the discoveries I’ve made that I know will domino-effect out through our collective connection.
UPDATE: The five paintings have found their new home with an amazing new guardian and keeper who is keeping all of them together and will be working with them as the sacred portals they were intended as. I’m so happy that they can stay as a unit, even though I was open to them finding homes where ever they were meant to be.
For this week, Whimsical Wednesdays and Monday Musings are coming together from each corner of my worlds – both the artist and writer me – to share an emerging theme of vision and perspective. Since everything is interconnected, it wasn’t a surprise to me to hear from a very tapped-in friend about this theme swirling around in her life and my “seeing” it sneak through with the experiences people are having on a wider scale. And, of course, it hit home here both with myself and my partner, Dave.
Perhaps some of you may chime in as well on this.
Vision and perspective feels important, as it relates to everything shifting so much in the way we are experiencing the world and collective right now. There seems to be a call to alter our perceptions overall and even a mass movement in terms of the things more people are becoming ready to see now. As layers of the veil peel back, we are being asked to see with new eyes and trust what is being shown/felt because that will be more key in creating a different reality than the one we may have thought was the only version of reality available.
As I mentioned, this has been popping up in our own ways here, as just this last week Dave went through a scary experience of discovering he had a detached retina that had potential implications of loss of eye sight if it hadn’t been caught in time, or if the procedure didn’t work. It was a whole very interesting and involved process to go through with quite advanced technology used to fix this, but in the end he avoided having to have the more invasive surgery under general anesthesia, as the first procedure has been successful.
He’s currently recovering this week, but it definitely was “eye-opening” on many levels.
Interestingly, this last Sunday I decided to try some reading glasses for the first time and bought some. I had bad vision when young – was legally blind in fact – and wore contacts/glasses until around 30 or so when I finally decided to have lasik surgery to correct it. I’d always been afraid of doing the surgery, or didn’t want to see on some level, and then embraced that and it was like woah! So weird to see so clearly – like everything was surreal.
My distorted vision had kept me “feeling” safe all of those years, and now I was ready to expose myself and support my gifts, rather than suppress them.
Anyway, until just last summer, I hadn’t gone back to an eye doctor since, because I had better than 20/20 vision. I started noticing some shifts and had them checked out and they said I’m starting to shift now in all ways – near and far sighted, along with some slight astigmatism. However, my prescriptions were so low that it wasn’t recommended I had to get them filled since they’d likely change a lot. It was felt that I could think about it in a year or two when they shift more or just pick up some over-the-counter readers at the store.
I hadn’t done that until now, feeling maybe I would try it out and transition myself slowly. I actually have come to love glasses as I’ve grown older and admire them on people, unlike the younger me who was more self-conscious about it and preferred the blurry world when I didn’t need to see clearly like in school, work, or while driving. I feel that they also add a layer to one’s personality and personal style. Perhaps they may even be more fitting to the artist/writer me I’m evolving into.
My mom ended up giving me some readers that she had and I got another super cheap pair after these first ones you see here, so I have five now at different levels to see what works best or to transition with.
What I’ve found interesting and synchronous to all of this is that while these vision and eye shifts have been taking place, I’ve noticed another big shift in perspectives and approach to my life, overall, which in essence is speaking to what I feel is more alignment.
I know very clearly the type of artist I am now and what I truly love painting and how.
I also was shown that my art is more about being an outlet for creative expression and joy when I feel moved in that direction and not something that feels to be a vocation, but more so an extension of simply who I am.
My writing feels more evolutionary for me – not necessarily that I see it vocationally either, but much more deepening and expanding in terms of growth and moving me out of all comfort zones, as well as facilitating creative expression as a honed in skill that merges and balances both sides of my brain, and that returns me to my more natural self – and voice.
It makes sense that my novel is also going through a huge shift too, which is a result of my stepping away from it for so long and returning now with “fresh perspective.”
I’ve been taking this return in steps, as I think I’ve mentioned before, and creating bite-sized morsels with it that create less overwhelm and more immediate levels of accomplishment, while also remaining detached from any end result ideas.
I envision a lot of work ahead, but the process being much more reflective of where I am now.
The steps I’ve taken so far have been researching a lot of links and books, both my editor had suggested, and ones I felt led to, and printing out the entire manuscript, then page-by-page marking it up with notes and highlighting that didn’t translate when I printed it on our only black and white printer.
Currently, I’m rereading the manuscript and journaling while I do so – both taking notes of major things I want to keep in mind for overall shifts I’ll be making and also somewhat processing my thoughts and ideas on where I may go with things.
Once I’m done reading I’ll have a greater handle on the direction, as I want to let the entire journey guide me, rather than make any decisions yet.
Everyone has their own process, but I’m learning to create mine and what works best for me, along the way.
I had no idea what I threw myself into when first I embarked on this writing adventure, as it is nothing like my first book I quickly pulled together and self-published, and nothing like what I had first envisioned it was going to be.
I’ve simply been embracing every twist and turn along the journey.
I literally jumped off the cliff and am now getting a crash course on what all is involved, learning along the way, and going through the growing pains rather fast – thank you to my editor!
I could never have done it before or had the ability to step back from personal investment in something, as I can now. And even since last I completed the first draft, it’s amazing to see how much I’ve shifted and my perspective has expanded, which of course translates into a whole new story!
My current reading and journaling stage is perfectly aligned for Dave’s downtime week, as I’m able to take my manuscript with me while we enjoy long beach days now that the weather is so nice and we’re in the shoulder season without crowds or noise lakeside – minus a few birds who like to come around and offer their perspective. 😉
Interestingly, yesterday we saw a bald eagle fly above us. She or he was then air-wrestling with a raven who likely wasn’t too excited the eagle was nearby. Our second bald eagle sighting in the last couple of weeks – so yes vision is definitely on a high!
Bald eagles symbolize the courage to look ahead and great vision.
Pure Spirit shares: When an eagle appears, you are on notice to be courageous and stretch your limits. Do not accept the status quo, but rather reach higher and become more than you believe you are capable of. Look at things from a new, higher perspective. Be patient with the present; know that the future holds possibilities that you may not yet be able to see. You are about to take flight.
I also recently shifted camera perspective on myself in a literal kind of way and rather than just sharing photos via my social media avenues, I’ve been nudged into adding some self-videos now and then that remove the barrier that a photo can still create and welcomes people into my world with a more personal, transparent experience of who I am and what my daily world is like.
Recently, I shared a look into my creation space, which the photo at my desk above is from, offering an insight to how I create a nurturing world around me that supports and inspires the dreamy worlds I imagine, via my writing and painting, into life.
I imagine, also, that things will continue to shift as my perspective widens and my vision adjusts into its new level of clarity.
Have any of you been experiencing themes around how perspective changes your experience, or having vision come up in literal or more symbolic ways – including perhaps even an emphasis on intuition stepping forward, more psychic vision becoming clarified, or things you didn’t see before suddenly making sense and stepping out on the scene now?
I thought you might find this last photo fun. I also recently moved these two whimsical dolls into position right in front of me at my desk, so that when I’m working on my computer they are actually staring right at me – and me at them.
I find myself looking into their eyes often while writing and alongside all of the other friends in the creation space I share with Astrid, it’s amazing how many eyes are on me.
They have special meaning to me and are connected with my novel, symbolically representing two of the characters.
The perspective of seeing through their eyes, but mostly that they are seeing through to the heart of me, keeps me focused on that key piece.
Yesterday’s share from Astrid got postponed until this morning, due to a full day on both of our parts. But now I see why it is coming today instead, as it’s the 11 year anniversary of my twin soul rabbit’s transition back to the stars. It is Nestor who guided me to all of my bunnies, and even my Russian tortoise Gaia, after her departure. And it is Nestor whom Astrid is deeply connected to and is most like in her magickal essence.
Both Astrid and Nestor have been huge reminders to me of my own essence, and to be truly authentic to who I am, as well as to explore what that means for myself.
Recently I’ve seen a lot of spiders around, including a huge one on Astrid’s castle and one on my keyboard to my computer as I was typing.
Astrid has a special connection to spiders and they seem to come around at synchronous times.
While they do bring messages of transformation, rebirth, magick, shadow, mystery, and creation, they also speak to how you are weaving your own destiny.
And this seems to be both Astrid’s and Nestor’s message this week – to look at your choices, decisions, thoughts, feelings, and actions as effective tools that can lead you to more mindful weaving in order to envision and create a life that serves or enslaves you.
Synchronously, this week on Instagram, a new magickal friend of mine was doing an animal totem Tarot card free reading where she shows you three cards upside down to choose from by intuitive draw, and then reveals their messages the next day – right side up.
My card was the spider, which in this deck also was associated with the High Priestess, but the message spoke to authenticity and exploring the truth of that for yourself.
It is about not allowing others to tell your story for you, being (and honoring) truly you inside and out, not letting yourself be trapped by other’s versions of you, and knowing that the greatest relationship you’ll know is with yourself.
Everything else will reflect that and be enriched by that.
They also say that receiving a sign involving spiders can indicate “the need for writing with the intention of weaving together gossamer strands that beautifully support the sharing of gifts” – interesting that one spider was on my keyboard.
The photos here share Astrid with one of the Amethyst pieces from the giant Amethyst Rabbit (that’s actually in the shape of a laying rabbit and looks like her when she does so) I used to have and returned back to me. It channels Nestor and today is a day of honoring her.
Astrid seems to be drawing my attention to what Nestor had always guided me toward, which is to walk in the essence of who I am.
I believe both of them are coming through right now to share this message also with all of you, as the collective truly needs each of you to walk in that same energy, which will help to raise the vibration for us all and create new experiences and possibilities.
This comes with knowing the parts within that whisper or loudly speak to you, and honoring them.
It also involves bringing forth your gifts into the light and sharing them with others.
And it means to relax and surrender to your heart, and release the confines of definitions and stories others would rather see you as, or that you’ve accepted, but always felt restricted by.
Yes, it involves courage, but you are being supported by so many others who are also embracing that challenge.
Even though this Amethyst is a piece of the whole, it is still connected to it and still brings forth a uniqueness that is needed and enriches all of the others – a piece of the web that creates the fabric of life.
Astrid sees who I really am – who you really are – and she encourages us to not let a day go by that could be lived in greater fullness.
Things may feel scary and uncomfortable, but even a fracture that feels painful can lead to greater flexibility to discover new ways of joy to be that had otherwise been hidden by the illusion of security.
Happy Earth Day!
On days like today, when a day of celebration comes into the awareness of many, it is a reminder of the power that unification can be and helps drive home the message that integration is our means to wholeness, from the inside out.
We are all connected and our living, breathing Earth beats to the same rhythm of our hearts, as does the life force energy in everything embodies a consciousness that Universally has no boundary.
Yes, “be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Truly embody that change daily, walk the walk, and watch the ripple effect that inevitably follows.
Open your heart to receive and to give to yourself so that you may give to and receive more fully from others.
This includes gifts of abundance on all levels, being able to hear and compassionately respond to each other, and even to be able to receive and hear the Earth and Cosmos in totality when they resonate their tones and frequencies that take our presence and consistent awareness to hear.
Celebrating Universal connection and exercising the power of integrative healing is a moment to moment, integral experience that is invaluable to practice on this beautiful Earth Day and beyond.
Remember who you are 💚
I shared this post on my social media pages, but know that not every one of my friends is on those platforms, so I’m sharing it here for you as well.
I plan to spend a portion of today out in nature – most importantly, writing a little, wrapping orders with love, and sharing a Reiki Healing Attunement for the Earth collective.
What are your plans?
Astrid has been extra excited and “hoppy” the last two days, with Easter and Earth Day following one another. She’s been racing around and playing with much spunk! I love it and she reminds us all to embrace and be present to that innocence within and experience life directly and clearly as it is in the delight of this moment.
She’s excited mom’s been anchoring in and getting serious about finishing our book. Many twists and turns down the rabbit hole have brought us back to center with it.
Writing is quite a journey – likely the most challenging and growth-oriented one to date for me. I thought teaching was a big deal to embrace, but I’ve come to find writing asks something new and different of me, and so I know why Astrid is here with me now to support that journey.
She’s also so grateful to everyone who’s been helping to raise funds for her bunny collective. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
We’ve now raised $256 between auctions and 10% proceeds from sale. Let’s see if we can get to $300 for the bunnies – beautiful grounded embodiments and stewards of our Earth Mother.
The 30% off Easter Sale ends today.
We have items starting as low as $13.96 for prints and greeting cards, mini rabbit gardens as low as $30.76 and the rest including remaining Magick Rabbit talisman necklaces at huge discount that feature flowers galore, mermaid rabbits, Atlantean/Egyptian, dream/creativity, love, desert Moon, and star vibes. We’ve received some amazing reviews via Instagram on how the energies of these have helped their wearers return balance and peace immediately when under stress! In essence, they felt a return to their essence and center. I LOVE THAT!
Everything in our shop is all available at incredible prices that include FREE shipping in the U.S.
We have some great items to celebrate Earth Day too like Gaia’s Children and other “garden of life” delights. And of course bunnies galore.
If you’ve been eyeing something now’s a great opportunity to bring it home.
Wishing you a beautiful Earth Day with a reminder that Earth Day is everyday, as long as she is your home. Take care of her and she’ll take care of you.
Astrid is right in alignment with today’s Full Moon in Libra, as she wears her own version of the “balancing scales” on her fur today, but literally IS the symbol for the nodes. AMAZING!!!! I was taken back at first noticing last night and was in awe of how yet again she reflects the perfect messages for us. She’s a walking embodiment of the collective energies, constantly mirroring what is most needed at this time.
Many years ago in my twenties, while researching astrological influences and dissecting my own chart, I came across the nodes. The material was very revealing at the time and I kept hold of notes over the years from those hours of research I did at the library, and continued at home in studies, with it. Then come some 10 years or so later, I discovered that for me, the South and North nodes were the most important key to revealing the path that would be most optimal on my evolutionary journey and returned to my work I’d started back then.
This continued to lead me to where I am now and most fully truly engaging this in the last 2-3 years.
The nodes speak to what you came here to learn, and the past challenges and gifts you brought with you for that journey of growth.
And here Astrid is reflecting this again, at a time period I continue to make more shifts, contemplate new ones, and forge ahead and anchor in a path that leads me onward.
Something the collective is also actively engaged in.
It is also being reflected right now during this Full Moon, when the spotlight is on revealing where imbalances are within the partnerships we have on all levels with things in our lives. A need for reviewing that masculine/feminine dance within our energies, as well as looking at the shadow and hidden parts of ourselves we may still not quite be fully aware of, have a handle on, or realize how important they are in what’s playing out around and in front of us.
You may find yourself facing the need to cut cords that no longer serve you at this time, power dynamics may be playing themselves out, and you may even be experiencing surprises or shocks to help you correct your course and feel more in alignment again.
What things are coming to an end of a cycle and asking for completion in your life?
I know currently a couple of major things are happening right now in my own that are ending some major cycles and that are really interesting to observe how they’re unfolding in uncanny and unquestionably connected full-cycle ways.
This Full Moon seems to be speaking to knowing thyself and putting forth your embodied truth before the desire to keep the peace and save face with others.
Where might you still be walking in someone else’s design of you, rather than creating from the heart of you?
Astrid wears this “node” and “balancing” sign directly at the back of her higher heart. There can be no more direct message for clarity and courage of living your truth and moving beyond the limitations that may be holding you back, while also integrating them in order to strengthen and reinvent the new.
The interesting thing is that you can’t see the symbol on her fur unless she stretches forward fully, like in this photo where I captured it while she bent down and over to eat her evening snacks.
It is otherwise hidden from its fullness.
She is demonstrating that you will need to have courage to “stretch” out of the comfort zones you’ve become accustomed to living in and this will put into activation the path of most alignment and light the path that you’ve felt was calling to you, but never quite could see.
Astrid encourages you to do the new and the challenging, rather than what has always felt easy.
You will need to stretch into the unknown.
Then, you will feel more purpose, passion, and pleasure in life when you jump off the tracks laid before you and build a new train that rides the timeline of your essence.