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January 2019 Energy Update with Lee Harris ~ Happy New Beginnings Year of Elevation


For those of you who also love Lee’s Energy Updates, I thought I’d do an extra post just for today, as we close at the year, to share his insights for our upcoming 2019. Lee calls this year a fresh start for many of us – a year of beginnings starting a new 7 year cycle of elevation.

It’s a time to harness what is within you now and show up like never before by tending to and nurturing your needs, and slowing down.

Lee says, “Don’t put yourself off this year.”

“The dream energy that you have in your heart is a dream for the planet,” he adds.

I couldn’t agree more and have shared this message Lee expresses, which is why I am at this place along my journey that I am now.

Wishing everyone a restorative January and a New Year of expansive potential.

Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: The Struggle Isn’t You


As this is Astrid’s last message for 2018, I was curious what she would want to share. She’s been extra playful and cuddly these days, which has added another layer to our together-time, and it also speaks to some of what her message is that she wants to leave you with.

And what might that be?

Astrid says, “The end to struggle.”

We’ve been immersed in year-end closure here, went deep with watching all four parts of the new Watership Down rabbit movie, along with prepping for new whimsical ventures in 2019 together – this to include our new book, art, and rabbit Faery fun. Our little Wonderland Faery realm has become a true Otherworld for creative manifesting, as we threaded together a Rabbit Hole of delight we feel enriched in every day. We’ve also been examining the reality we want to live and leave behind.

There’s been a lot of creative work and anchoring this last year to set up and define our intentions, and although this New Year, for us, will continue to be one of vision, setting priorities, and determination, it will also be one of breakthroughs and embodied beliefs. This, Astrid shares, to be done with joy, ease, and peace – with the knowing that we can trust our essence to guide us in flow and fun through the next leg of the journey.

If we find ourselves struggling, where can we be curious about ways in which we might be holding on to old patterns and realities, lower ideals, or stringent and limited attachments?

Astrid says, “The struggle is a detour to who you really are. The struggle is a way to stay small. The struggle is a way to keep you away from what you believe you don’t deserve. The struggle keeps illusion as an interference to seeing the possibilities and beauty available. The struggle isn’t you.”

For most of the first part of my life I struggled on many levels. I was constantly inflicting inner torment upon myself with voices of knowing battling voices of fear, pain, confusion, and conflicting patterns that weren’t even mine in many cases.

And this kept me from being me and being able to expand further. It was like being tethered to a post and always hitting the end that snapped me back.

That is, until I realized the post didn’t truly exist except for believing it did.

Astrid has been through her own struggles and in seeing her come to this place of surrender and no longer feeling the need to fight, she is finding the love and joy her essence exudes, feeling right at home.

And so are we both experiencing this, which is creating greater peace daily.

“There is always another way,” she says, “and while we feel things serve us, truly they serve our patterned beliefs – not our hearts. Love is not a struggle. Creative energy simply flows. When we relax into these spaces, spend more time nurturing and cultivating the love in our hearts, we find greater comfort in things we never thought we could. We open ourselves to different opportunities, see new perspectives, and realize there are a multitude of ways to experience what we want, rather than believe it can only be in one form.”

“And what about those old realities and lower ideals so many of us struggle to hold on to?” I ask her.

“Like the unlimited dimensional experiences you can’t see, but still exist, why is it that you feel there to be only one reality? You struggle to hold on because you are so close to letting go. It is that last piece that will change everything. The release and fall into your grace. You fight to stay small because being more means greater empowerment and awareness. It’s been easier to let others and even beliefs power over you then to truly live without constraints. Hope, love, imagination…these things no one controls, but you. They are the keys to a new reality no one can take away. They live where struggle does not exist. When you go there, you know what I mean. If you can learn to stay there, you will know what is possible,” Astrid says.

We have both been embracing this experience where struggle need not be anymore and gently breathing deeper into our hearts to help it move through.

This has brought Astrid to a place of exuberant and loving expression as her norm now, without need to struggle and fight within, as a way of preserving it only for special moments. We have both learned to trust who we each really are and that life is meant to be a joyful, creative, and wondrous experience.

The other things may exist and they may knock on our door to try to tether us back, but they will meet with surprise when they find there is no knot on the other end. We’ll see the rope and when the knocking thinks it has us, we will let go of the other end and watch them disappear.

Let this be a year we all let go of the struggle and fight.

Let this be a year to create a new reality.

For me and Astrid it is a storybook year we are weaving together, piece by piece, heart to heart.

We both wish you all a wondrous New Year – a year of greater creativity, transformation, fertile and abundant potential, and alignment for the collective with it being a 3 year in numerology.

Astrid will be back next year on January 4th, 2019.

Whimsical Wednesdays ~ The Artist’s Corner: My Artistic Journey Creating from the Heart


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Today I thought I’d answer one of the questions I get asked a lot about my artistic journey. When did you start painting and what kind of training did you have? 

It seems to me that we’re programmed to think that in order to be able to do something we must have gone through a certain kind of rigorous training and so we automatically ask these kinds of questions, as we relate seeing gifts in someone to a curriculum of schooling.

While this may be some peoples’ journeys, it isn’t everyone’s.

There are many people whose training has come “built-in” from their soul history.

There are some people who aren’t born with a filter and so they just “go for it” with expressing themselves and the creative energy that moves through them.

There are people who cultivate a passion they feel.

And there are people who are drawn to training more studiously because that feels right to them, they want to advance their techniques and expand with their breadth of work, and maybe even on some level feel it’s a way to establish value for their work, as society places such high worth on things like degrees, training, and names of schools we attend and get accepted into.

There’s no one way, or one right way. We each go on the journey that feels to provide exactly what we need.

For me, it was a strong aversion to training, classes, and schooling of any kind. So much so that I even turned down working at an art school to teach others to draw because it felt boxed-in, and since I didn’t feel right about it for myself, I just couldn’t see advocating that through my work to others. It was more about consistency for me. I had to go through that process though and interviewing, in order to confirm to me what I felt.

So what has my journey been like with art?

I have been drawing all of my life.

It was my favorite pastime.

My fondest memories are of summers sitting at the dining table with my French grandfather drawing after play time outside.

I received a lot of recognition for my drawing in elementary, middle, and high school, but never had any formal training. I naturally took to it without art class teachers’ help. In fact, most of what they said didn’t make much sense to me.

I was very good at reproducing things that I saw like a photocopy. That was my left brain, detail-oriented, perfectionist that could sit for hours working on two square inches of a piece to get every pencil or paint brush stroke exact.

It’s no surprise I was also extremely good at staying “inside” the lines of coloring books – another enjoyment I loved – along with things like creating Spirograph drawings (do you remember these?!).

Detail work is something I carry in me over lifetimes, but I’ve come to find is not my joy.

It’s a soul-ingrained pattern I’ve spent years undoing in this life.

Ironically, my childhood drawings I started doing on my own before this patterning circled back through is what I’ve returned to now. A reclaiming of my “essence,” but channeled through a fresh me.

As a child I was very good at creating simple images of what I saw in my mind’s eye of things I loved in nature all around me.

My favorite and best thing I could draw was, and remains to this day, animals.

I never felt drawn to taking classes outside of the ones we either had to, or had as electives, through high school.

For some reason I felt inclined to keep this part of my life raw in its nature and didn’t want to feel controlled by rights and wrongs. I wanted simply to bring forth my visions without boundaries. Having everything else in life feeling so controlled, this let me have one little sacred piece to myself where anything goes.

Interestingly, while I could draw people if I wanted, I just don’t really want to and it’s more effort.

What flows for me is nature, animals, magickal beings, and enchanting or cosmic visions.

While my work could easily be judged by art critics who have their own idea of what makes art “good,” for me I love the raw expression of what moves through someone’s heart.

That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the beauty of fine works of art. I am in awe of the masterpieces hanging in galleries and marvel at how incredibly they’re executed.

But I do love purity and innocence too, which is what my presence here on Earth is about. And I equally see the beauty within this type of creative expression and see them as fine works of art in their own right because, to me, art is something that not only captures a visual gift come to life, but truly moves you with emotion to experience something deep or even triggers the opening of your own heart with the images acting like keys.

Creative energy is unlimited and therefore there are many ways to bring forth artistic expression.

I say, if it feels joyful to your heart to create, then that’s art.

So, while I’ve cultivated my own form of artistic expression by listening to what moves me and implementing what I’ve integrated and worked on throughout my life, I believe we each have our own journey with this.

But I encourage anyone who feels the desire to draw, paint, or create in some way, to just do it!

There is value in expressing what you feel and if you feel it, I guarantee there is someone out there who needs just what you have to share.

What do you feel your artistic journey has been?

Sometimes we start out one way, but move into a different arena later.

Don’t be afraid to try something.

The value of art is not based on whether it hangs in a gallery or gets critical acclaim.

The value of art is in the expression.

Creativity yearns to be shared.

Monday Musings ~ The Writer’s Corner: Writing is an Opportunity to Face Fear


Most everyone in some way experiences fear on some level and it isn’t just isolated to writers or creatives. This is just one way our fears manifest, by stopping us from doing the thing we love most. We all have little voices in our heads that have a life of their own, running us around in circles with the idea of keeping us away from pain and disappointment – yet they also keep us away from growing and experiencing fulfillment.

While today’s post focuses on fears writers experience, the ideas and techniques shared here can be applied to any fear we have in life. And since writing fears really aren’t about writing, per se, but about something deeper around stories we’ve accepted as reality about ourselves conditioned by the past, while we work with these fears we’ll be shifting our entire life.

I’ve had to work with many fears over the course of my life to include things like public speaking, fear of heights, fear of being judged and having my work judged…and while we may not always completely eradicate those voices, we definitely learn how to work with them, harness them, and stop giving them control.

In Sage Cohen’s great post, 10 Ways to Harness Fear and Fuel Your Writing for Writer’s Digest you’ll find insightful thoughts on how to consciously work with your fears in a way that harnesses their energy for your writing. I especially love this reference she adds, which speaks to how we can regain control over our lives in the midst of fears and fearful voices:

In A Beautiful Mind, when someone from the Nobel Prize committee asks schizophrenic mathematician John Nash how he silenced the voices that threatened to interfere with his work and his life, Nash replies something to the effect of, “I didn’t. They’re talking to me right now. I have simply made a choice to stop engaging with what they’re saying.”

And so can you.

You can also choose to have a conversation with them like she shares in #9 where you get your fear voice and heart voice together as one through a series of thoughtful curiosities that put things at ease.

It’s interesting to me that we fear “fear,” but fears are more like our soul’s coursebook to growth that we have written perfectly in a way that we know in our hearts will provide great depth, expansion, and evolution. Fears can translate into some incredibly rich writing, music, painting, or any creative project by adding layers of realness to our work.

I’ve used a lot of the techniques she describes in her article and while things may not happen overnight, they do happen step-by-step if you’re willing to truly work at it. That’s all you really need, is a commitment to yourself to work with yourself gently and with encouragement.

Ari Meghlen recently shared a guest post by Nore Hoogstad on How to Overcome Writing Fear that also focuses on some key fears around writing and some quick, easy thoughts around them, which you may also find helpful.

I hope you’ll find these supportive with your process.

What are your greatest fears that seem to be running the show?

Do you think you can commit to working with at least one of them and make your passion a priority, as a result?

Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: You Can Run, but You Can’t Hide


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Today Astrid would like to speak to that little voice inside of many of you that sometimes wishes to just curl up in a ball and shrink back into a dark corner or closet – maybe even just pull the covers over your head and pretend the world has no idea you exist. Maybe you prefer being invisible sometimes and this can serve well in specific cases, but perhaps you’re holding yourself back out of fear or a deep-seeded experience that leaves you afraid to put yourself out there.

Living so close to, and intimately with, the ground and Earth, rabbits know how to “hide” well, but this can have a two-fold meaning of either having the need to camouflage and blend in or that you have made yourself so small that you are un/under-recognized for who you are and the gifts that you embody.

Rabbits know the importance of awareness and protection, but they are not shy about exhibiting their exuberance and big personalities when they feel the urge to do so. In fact, they will leap with glee when the moment moves them, or rise to the challenge with fierceness, despite being seen as small, timid and fragile creatures.

They are extraordinary sound navigators who know when to seize the moment and “hop” into new territories and experiences. Their ultra-sensitivities create the light when all seems lost and dark.

And this is the place Astrid wants to address for those of you who find yourself feeling lost so much, desire to shrink away, or aren’t even aware that you are diminishing your light when it’s needed the most right now in the world.

Invisibility can definitely be a gift, but it doesn’t serve you or the collective to live in the dark eternally.

Life can’t go on, nor thrive, without light.

Astrid knows there are times she’s been afraid and that she’s needed to regulate her energy so as to find that balance of protection and safety, while also making herself known and asserted.

If she had remained purely in fear by her circumstances and triggers, she would not only not have survived, but not have been recognized for the gifts she has. Marcy of SaveABunny and her staff of volunteers saw her because of the big energy she put out, and of course we know that this is also how she and I made the connection.

We both had to rise to our highest and most whole, to have a meeting of equals merge into partnership and recognition of reflection.

We could easily have missed a beautiful chance if we both stayed small.

How many times might you have missed out on an opportunity because you kept yourself small?

How much of your dreams are you not able to experience because you hesitate to share your gifts?

How much love do you hold back from yourself because you’re scared to show others who you really are or to feel how worthy you are?

Is it disappointment, hurt, anger, or guilt that makes us fear ourselves and our power?

I often wonder why these feelings win out over love over and over again.

Astrid shares that responsibility can play a part in this process we seem to be learning in exercising our gifts and powers.

But she and I both agree that responsibility can can carry its own weight that isn’t always tempered with love, but analyzed and dissected by ego.

So in fact it, too, can lead us astray of going bigger, as it tries to work out every angle to satisfy another excuse not to shine forth.

While we think that hiding serves us well, in most cases it is a reaction to something now or from a “past” that didn’t go the way we hoped. And even though those triggers and experiences are gone, we are still operating as if they are happening right now.

This perpetuates our “staying small” and unable to shine our inner lights, like rabbits do, to navigate us through the dark tunnel labyrinths of experience.

And in some cases, we devise ingenious ways of talking ourselves out of letting our energy out bigger to serve our ego fears and can even find spiritual bypassing ways of describing it and why it makes sense to do so.

Truth is, if you want to find a reason not to do something you can always find one.

And when it comes to our wholeness and embodying our potential, we have all the excuses in the world why not to do that.

Whether or not those excuses are valid is between you and yourself.

Astrid wants to remind you that it’s okay to recognize when camouflage and invisibility can serve us and be a magickal tool in our back pocket to pull out now and then, but “hiding” when rising would benefit you most, is not the healthiest choice to always fall back on.

It’s okay to learn as you go and make instant adjustments along the way. Chances are, you’ve already done years of work so truly, now is about the experiential classroom. This is about being both student and teacher and bringing integrity and humbleness to the process of being.

Now, more then ever your gifts, your light, your essence is needed in the world.

And while you think you may be alone in facing those frightful triggers, experiences, and the things that feel scary in the world, you are not.

More and more souls are finding that the way out of hiding is to actually step out. No one is going to force you out nor pull you out. Only you can make that choice, but it’s a very liberating choice that once made – even in small steps – suddenly helps make sense of an upside down world and brings authentic power to the forefront.

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Astrid says, “The more you wear a mask, the less you will ever know yourself. It’s not just others you hide from in doing so, nor whom are robbed of knowing your beauty and experiencing your ripple across the world. You are the one who is hurt the most when your light is kept small.”

Astrid knows how I, too, have kept myself small in the past and straddled timidly between two worlds of fears and hopes.

“And what did that do for you?” she asks me.

“It kept me stuck,” I replied. “Torn and tormented between two worlds warring against each other, rather than teaming together and empowering myself into truly living, rather than merely surviving.”

That reminds me of a favorite line Julia Roberts says in Steel Magnolias, “I’d rather have 30 seconds of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”

How about you?

If coming out of hiding gave you the most enriching and fulfilling experience you’ve ever known and was better than your wildest dreams, wouldn’t it be worth “going bigger” for, even if it wasn’t forever?

Not that it couldn’t or wouldn’t be forever, but you won’t know it until you try it.

Or is the known feeling of suffering and smallness, more comforting?

“Everyone has the ability to go bigger, no matter what their circumstances are. You are creative beings and therefore have unlimited ways to bring through more of your potential. Feel bigger! Thinking is only half the story, but your heart will guide you past the limits of your mind,” Astrid says.

It’s not easy, I know, and can be quite sticky with layers, but personally I decided that the possibility of that total enrichment far outweighed the illusion of safety in the darkness.

Astrid says, “That safety is an illusion that keeps you away from your truth….away from being who you really are and experiencing what you have available. That illusion is the fix to experiencing the true power within your heart.”

And she’s so right.

We think we stay safe by staying small and hidden, but by making that our “norm” we not only get to experience more of it, but are dying a slow death.

Choosing to go bigger and stop hiding happens for each person at different times in their life or soul journey and in different ways, by different triggers, and timings, so there isn’t just “one” way to get there.

Yet the one thing we all have in common is “potential.”

And the more each of us do our best to rise to that potential, the easier it becomes for others to do the same.

Rather than spend time trying to make others step into their potential, why not utilize our resources to “be” the potential?

Rabbit doesn’t wait for snake to see the “potential” when it threatens her kits rather than finding something else to eat that day. Rabbit rises to her “potential” and becomes the bigger rabbit she knows herself to be and chases off the snake.

Yep, that’s right. There are videos out there that catch mother rabbits fighting off poisonous, deadly snakes to save their babies. It’s incredible, but this is the truth of their wholeness they weave in and out of, as they carry it at their core always.

And I’ve seen this happen not only with people, but myself as well, where we’re put into dire situations and then rise to the occasion.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful to rise always, rather than only when threatened or in our darkest hour?

Those moments demonstrate that we have it in us, but we choose not to always shine the light.

Astrid carries this bigger energy with her always. You can see it and feel it, even if not demonstrated every second, but when she wants to, she does. She’s not afraid to let you know it’s simply who she is, nor is she worried how you might judge her. She knows the truth of who she is will reach the truth of each of us and when truth meets, that’s the most authentic and fulfilling experience, regardless of result. Yet, it also helps reflect and draw to her exactly what she needs and wants to see, while not missing out on what it feels to be alive.

I asked Astrid if she has any advice to offer to someone wanting not to hide anymore, but is too afraid.

She thinks a moment and replies in her own way, “There will never be a perfect moment to wait to do something and tomorrow is not always a promise. We can’t survive alone in the dark forever. Night turns into day and it is your nature to do the same. In and out you weave, but weave you must, or cease to be. Both the Sun and Moon know just when to shine on the Earth or how to allow others the same. Yet they DO and WILL shine in fullness and never cease to shine while others are. They dance in and out, sharing the stage of the grand show. You may not know how stepping forth and being bigger will be embraced, but embrace it for yourself and you will find your place on the horizon amidst the other stars. It’s there that we will meet, heart-to-heart.”

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What I’ve learned, and Astrid describes so beautifully, is that the truth of who you are is not something you can hide from forever. It catches up to us, no matter how fast we run away. Just as the Sun’s light keeps shining, despite your only seeing it half the day, so does your light, despite blanketing it in vein.

Eventually, your essence will see its way through, so why not give it a boost out?

“That’s right! Being who you really are is what we need most in the world at this time and is the greatest service to humanity,” concludes Astrid.

Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: The Worth of Waiting


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I was reminded yesterday when I gave Astrid the first batch of her holiday gifts, just how much joy it brings to my heart to see her happy and giving her the things she deserves. This continued later in the evening over conversation with my sweet friend, Lynne, who is visiting, as I shared with her about the first time Astrid saw her Wonderland realm I’d created just for her and she dropped into a deep state of heartfelt gratitude. She stopped in her tracks and took it all in, then sat in overwhelming feelings she had always believed were possible, but hadn’t materialized outside of her belief until now. That was the most moving moment for me when she looked at everything then turned to me and wanted to snuggle – if her eyes could have shed tears they would have, but mine sure did. I heard her expression of gratitude and felt her love, as she thanked me for seeing her and making her dreams a reality.

We both dropped into a timeless shared moment that is etched in my heart forever.

Last night I went to bed knowing today was Astrid’s share time and asked her to let me know what she wanted to write about.

She said, “the worth of waiting.”

So, I went to sleep with the intention to hear her message and bring that through now.

Astrid knows that so many of us feel like we are waiting forever for the things we want. That constantly we’re told to be patient just a little while longer. To keep believing. To not let go of our dreams. And to keep moving forward when all we want to do is give up with disappointment, exhaustion, and feelings of overwhelming sadness.

She knows I have so many times gone through that myself – feeling like nothing was ever going to happen. That I kept working on things, giving my all, making changes, devoting myself to figuring out what I’m missing, and still had only my hope to go on.

She knows that so many times I wanted to give up and was brought to my knees in painful soul-felt tears and couldn’t understand why.

And she knows somehow I kept going.

Perhaps this is one of the reasons she and I connect so much. Because Astrid has been through the same in her life.

Her background is filled with disappointment, fear, sadness, the unknown, and yet she kept fighting and kept going.

This eventually brought her to SaveABunny where she was finally treated with respect and tenderness, and at least was out of danger.

Yet, she still had a couple of years ahead of having people come and go, but never seeing her, nor wanting to adopt her.

She kept believing when all seemed hopeless.

And although she was there one of the longest of any bunnies, awaiting a forever home, it did happen.

We found each other.

Two souls who kept believing.

Two souls who have never given up.

We found our happy ending in each other.

Astrid says, she easily could have let her health go and gone into full-on depression, but she kept strong, took care of herself, and remained a robust picture of well -being.

She knew one day….one day….her dream would come true.

And she wanted to be at her best when it did.

I can so relate, as so many times I wanted to give up on things in my life I hoped for and never saw evidence of getting closer to.

And yet they did come and I was reminded, like Astrid, that time is an idea we attach to. The spirit and heart don’t experience it the same. There is no timeline for when things unfold. There’s the journey and how we embrace it.

No matter when something happens in our lives, even if it’s just for a minute of blissful depth, that one moment will be worth all of the pain, struggle, and work we put into our lives.

Astrid says, “It needn’t be that way though. If you embrace that the future is now and live your life backwards with the beauty being in your heart to experience whenever you want, then you will know how to ride the eternal.”

In essence, we don’t have to suffer, as the only reason we do is the acceptance of separation from that which is in our heart awaiting our opening to.

Hard to embrace when your physical reality seems to say something else, but that doesn’t have to be the story if we tell it differently.

And this provides the hope and the ability to experience life more fully now with whatever our situation is.

It makes what we desire more tangible and draws it in as a manifestation.

Astrid knows this isn’t easy to embrace when heartache becomes overwhelming.

But she knows it’s possible, as it’s been her experience.

And I do too.

I keep using these techniques and keep listening to her reminders, as I continue to embrace hope for manifesting more things my heart is feeling.

I see and experience them as done and so the journey is much sweeter. It also makes it so that if they manifest or not, it’s not as important because I already am enjoying the possibility within my heart where it counts the most.

It creates a feeling of wholeness and from there anything is possible.

Astrid says, “You are a timeless being living a blip of your immensity. Open to your fullness and you’ll open to the potentials in greater ways than you think.”

There are reasons things align as they do and if we remove the time constraints, the worth of waiting reveals itself.

You might even find that you’re living rather than waiting.

Take care of you. You are worth it.

Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: Upgrades & Overloads of Rebirthing Change


Rebirthing seems to be a theme running through the collective and just today it came through to me through five different streams of experiences and messages from others. One of them being Astrid, as rabbits reflect this symbolism well. She’s been very eager the last couple of days to not only nudge me hard at my ankle, but has bee-lined to me in order to grab a hold of my pant leg with her teeth to get my attention.

Likely she knew of the energy overload I was experiencing and the upgrade about to take place, but it also seems she’s been really keen on my being with her so that we can navigate the unknowns together.

Rabbits are very at home in the labyrinth Netherworld where intricate underground passageways and dark twisting tunnels are the norm and where they feel secure navigating their travels by intuition and inner light alone.

Change is no stranger to them and they are accustomed to making decisions in the face of fear and maintain peaceful focus amidst chaos.

After all, their survival relies on it.

This sense of self and ingenuity is a gift that reflects to us our ability to master the same within us awaiting our reclaiming.

As Lee shared in his December Energy Update yesterday, “We are built to handle change.”

And as the ever-rebirthing rabbit says, “You, too, can get in touch with change and ride the sands of time, as the seasons weave their cycles.”

Astrid knows change very intimately and has braved the new every step of the way. Recently she shared about her own upgrade to a Castle Tower, and while it had mirrored our own shifts up until then, it was also foreshadowing more change upcoming for me.

That hit yesterday, as I’ve added a heap load of new into my life recently (including a wave of new energy painting) and its been a process to integrate a balanced schedule with it all.

I’ve been feeling a build-up of energy in a way I can’t describe and it catapulted me to this suspended point outside of this or that. It released tethers that provided any sense of familiarity and detached me even more.

Astrid says, “This is the Cosmic way, and when you are at home within this unknown, you realize the power of your own inner light above all else.”

It keeps coming at me with the expression of new inspiration and focuses, along with the stripping away of layers, the joy of surrendering things to others ready to own their own level of responsibility and reclaiming, and the deepening gratitude that stretches me to farther reaches of heart generosity that lives for today.

Astrid often sits tall and looks me straight into my heart with piercing wisdom that seems both so far away and so tangibly rich.

She says, “This is because I reflect the heart’s Great Mystery that can only be experienced by way of both loving and letting go more. Then you experience the vastness and beautiful complexity of Cosmic Love.”

She continues sharing “This overload of energy is a liminal space you’ve been experiencing as a compilation of layering new pieces onto pieces you don’t want to forget, while juggling ways to hold them within the still limited version of unrealized potential, rather than relaxing into these things already being who you are. The reminders have already done their work and the memory can now let go into the ease of embodiment. It’s time to create from the impetus of fertile inspiration and allow these to rebirth completely anew.”

And so, yesterday, my mini Notebook (the computer I’ve been using the last 5 years) finally and fully overloaded. I’ve been receiving messages from it over the past few months that there was no space remaining and our attempts to delete things went in vein.

Then my computer said, “No more.”

Just as Astrid said, “Come join me as you already are.”

Ironically and synchronously this took place yesterday directly after I posted Lee’s December Energy Update and right after I received an email from a very special spirit and artisan who after a couple of months since onset of our correspondence, had completed creating “a celestial muse” she was working on in collaboration with me that happens to embody “creation” and not surprisingly, but without me saying anything, wove the song of my heart into being.

It just so happened that I was ready for this, as anything of importance to me – truly only my new novel – is stored on a tiny little chip, and things that might “seem” important, but speak of the old days for me, were surrendered away. I let it all go, including several years of saved emails and work correspondence from days of the past and embraced Dave’s extra, heavy duty computer as my new replacement, which I’ve been using for our shared side business bookkeeping.

The overload caused everything to run in circles, take forever to implement, reverse working at all without hours of dissecting, and simply not listen to or understand commands.

In essence, I would not be moving forward unless I walked into a much more expansive field where pieces are not even present to remind me and only embodiment speaks for itself.

All of the new energy couldn’t keep piling on to things working in the background and using up space in one way or form. A larger playing field within the vortex of my heart had to be opened where things move freely and are simply an intrinsic part of me.

I said goodbye to the memories while closing all access of return and this new and vastly larger platform now provides the space for that “impetus of fertile inspiration” Astrid spoke of.

Better yet, I have no attachment to it and anything on it, which feels extra freeing, as I don’t feel the computer to be mine. It is more of a portal and conduit to bring things through, but to shut away and detach from at end of each day.

And then today, some wonderful and full circle soulful unfoldings took place when the perfect guardian said yes to my passing on three sacred items that speak of what has been some of the greatest importance to me and my lifetimes, which I only recently had also been nudged to surrender over in trust.

Astrid was specifically involved in this, literally getting my attention and moving these pieces into my awareness.

I couldn’t ask for a wiser companion.

I’ve also found myself giving out in bigger ways than ever lately, feeling that vastness and abundance, without need to hold on. There are infinite ways for things to come about. To hold onto something as an idea of insurance was also robbing the good it could do in so many other ways now, including the very way I thought it might one day help.

Astrid has been quite the muse in all of this – amusing and musing!

When I do something from that infinite place she binkies with delight – I call it a Cosmic Binky.

When I’m missing the point or urgency, she grabs hold of my pant leg.

When I’m “getting it” and download her wisdom, she peers deeply through me in her Buddha Bunny- like stance with eyes dark as the Cosmos and a twinkle of starlight at center.

This morning, as we were still prepping Dave’s computer for me I was upstairs at our usual Ask Astrid blog time so Queen Astrid came running upstairs to get me. She waited patiently beneath the graceful towering giraffes – her grounded sentinels of grace and divine purpose.

From there she was downloading today’s message, as she helped me to connect the dots with all the latest happenings.

Every day a new layer of fine-tuning is integrated.

She reminded me that every time my energy gets an “upgrade,” so do my computers and cell phones.

And we both know that this is true for many of you out there as well.

Our energy shifts affect things around us.

Rabbits are finely attuned to energies and reflect them to the tiniest degree.

My two other rabbits, Nestor and Joy, used to have physical blow-outs because of the expansive energy they would channel and their bodies had to readjust, which isn’t the easiest always for bunnies.

Astrid is much better at managing her energy and wants me to understand those tweaks and fine-tunings that can help with optimizing my own.

This time it wasn’t about forcing a change by crashing my computer and losing things, but more about mindfulness that gave me the option of tweaking realizations and moving forward more effectively and in bigger ways.

As we go through changes, which right now everyone is experiencing in varying degrees of relative intensity, there are ways to tune into those little tweaks so that we can all optimize our energy.

Sometimes they’re easier to see and feel than others, so reflections like these can assist us.

For me, it seems Astrid is sharing that just as she fully chewed down and got rid of her Carrot Cottage so it no longer takes up any space, in order to make space for her Castle Tower, so too did I need to look at the tiny ways space was being held by things I already embody.

I had even saved the top roof of the Carrot Cottage with the idea to create a little house upstairs for her and she was not interested in the least bit.

So I’ve since removed it completely once she said, “I told you we’re done mom. I love the memories it held of my being welcome to my forever home, but our love is now permanent and the cardboard house takes up space our hearts can use to create and anchor new growth in.”

So, in reflection, while I may have given up the work and things of the past, if it still sits there even as storage space on a computer, or as an item tucked away on a shelf, they’re still taking up space I could breathe more freely in and by removing them I brush away the dust of memories and awaken the sparkle of birthing new stars.

Astrid smiles. “Change is like the beautiful birth of a star.”

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December Energy Update with Lee Harris ~ Leveling Up, Deep Connection & Playing the Waiting Game


Continued self-love, nurturing, and gentle kindness toward yourself is important to remember and implement, as the strong energy waves of change keep sweeping through. Ups and downs are not unusual while we ride these currents, but breaking the patterns of how we experience things can be possible.

Emotions continue to rise and we are called to greater ways of working with these feelings both around us and within us.

“We are built to handle change,” Lee shares. We can harness our fear and learn to transmute it.

Listen through to the end for a clip from this month’s MP3 from The Portal.

Whimsical Wednesdays ~ The Artist’s Corner: Having Fun is Serious Business


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Do you take yourself too seriously? Have you forgotten how to have fun, let go, and be silly? Chances are if you feel stuck, uninspired, blocked, up against a wall, or like everything is just hard work and routine, you might have forgotten the spark of passion and joy you once had and the reason you started creating in the first place. Whether you’re a painter, writer, musician, sculptor, architect, chef, or even a stay-at-home mom or dad, entrepreneur, business exec, student, or in the service industry, you may experience those moments or long periods of drain and monotony because you somehow lost that spark.

How can you get it back?

By allowing yourself to be ridiculous sometimes.

Why is it that we’ve embraced the idea that masterpieces and success are born of suffering and torment alone?

It’s true that these emotional journeys take us to the darkest depths that create a rich overlay to our work by reaching into the shadows and bringing them to light.

But it’s overlooked how key having fun is to our process and that by inviting more uninhibited behaviors into our life, we will not only enjoy it more, but find our work igniting a new layer of imagination and possibility that will spark the same in others we touch through our work and interactions.

AND, we’ll look forward to it more each day, enjoy the journey, and find inspiration comes far easier to us.

Somewhere along the lines you were taught to believe that if you didn’t take everything seriously – including yourself – then you were wasting your time.

This begins to make everything, including the things you love, become a chore, you might have a hard time starting, and you find yourself pushing things off as much as you can.

What you love, you begin to avoid.

But what if you decided that you were going to be serious about having fun?

Meaning, fun was mandatory and needs to be woven into your day and process.

The less you worry and tighten your thoughts and feelings around how to create the perfect thing or be the perfect person at what you do, the more the perfect expression unfolds.

And we can invite this in more by engaging fun!

Whether you skip on your walk, sing in the shower, laugh at yourself, make up stories, entertain the ridiculous, allow yourself to be goofy, giggle at the little things, dance when the music moves you, throw some paint on a blank canvas you designate the “free zone,” play, take a day off, make up a story while you go through your process, and reconnect with why you started creating in the first place – what it means to you and how it makes you feel, you will find yourself opening up more to flow again, rediscovering your passion, and experiencing more sparkle in your life and work.

Going through the motions isn’t going to be sustainable and definitely is NOT why you were born here.

It may eventually, even, cut you off from doing the very thing you love because you lose the connection with your heart’s joy and trusting it.

Having fun is serious business.

It’s what creativity is all about and how you’ll discover infinite layers of imagination that will enrich all aspects of your life and work.

Balance is the key to life and while there is a time to be serious, there’s also a time for serious fun.

I’ve seen this shift my own experience with things. I mentioned this before, but I’ll expand a bit as it demonstrates the journey.

For example, my art has gone through a huge metamorphosis because of my “letting go.”

I used to create very VERY detailed, tight paintings and drawings that felt more like a soul pattern I was unconsciously falling under a spell with. They took me months sometimes to create and while it triggered remembrance of work I used to do in other lifetimes that felt good on one level, it also felt so grueling and was more like becoming numb to the idea of suffering through the process.

It took me a while to break the spell and wake up to the joy of painting again and having fun with it.

That I could actually paint what I wanted to and not what someone else told me to or that I thought I “should.”

That I could evoke feeling by pure expression, rather than meticulously thought-out and researched weaving of symbolism.

That I could simply paint what I saw in my heart and visions and not worry about being scrutinized for my technique.

In fact, I haven’t painted for several years, except for the Magick Stones I created on our Magick Bus RV adventure – yes Nature brought me back to the nature within.

And the creatures of the forest here keep reiterating this message to me daily, as I watch the squirrels and chipmunks – especially – outside my office door reflecting that perfect balance of work and play to create serious fun!

Little by little, my work evolved and will continue I’m sure.

And I find myself truly enjoying painting in all ways now, for the very first time.

Why?

Because I’ve allowed myself to have fun.

Pure, uninhibited fun with it.

And to paint what I love, alone, without any plan or mission.

I can’t tell you how quickly the ideas and implementation of bringing them about is going.

All because I remembered my “why” and surrendered to dancing in the fun of what it means to me to create – to be a child of the universe experiencing everything with wonder and sharing that wonder with you.

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Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: Building Strong Foundations for the New


astrid lookout tower

Last weekend Astrid received a new, wood castle tower to replace her toppling over, cardboard carrot cottage. I got her the cottage when she first came home to live with us and she immediately went at renovating it by chewing open the carrot windows and widening doorways to let in more light, create clearer vision, and have easier in-and-out access. Eventually, she started chewing the backside wall almost completely where the second story sat above the first, and the whole house became the Leaning Tower of Pisa – or like a friend said, “the Leaning Tower of Carrot.”

And this is where today’s blog inspiration comes from, as Astrid points out, “There is nothing random about this, mom. Reflect back for a moment and you’ll see what I mean.”

She’s right. When I first gave her the carrot cottage we were living in our condo – the tree house in the sky above Lake Tahoe – and were in a bit of flux with our living situation and decisions on what we wanted to create from there, what home looked like to us, new ideas around business ventures and long-term planning, and even what I wanted to do with my current inspirations of writing and so forth.

Hence, a bio-degradable, non-permanent, and easily mobile carrot cottage for Astrid – my reflective counterpart.

But just as we outgrew our tree house and decided upon a forest-side dream home that we, too, wanted to renovate, Astrid let out her energy larger and larger and I began to create a room of similar dream-home quality for her.

astrid tower

This all coincided with us rapidly moving many parts of our life at once, and setting into place brand new foundations that were strongly anchored, but also much more integrated and balanced. We continued to fine-tune our lives, cleared out the old, listened to what our hearts had to say, and worked on getting greater clarity of focus and efficiency while building and recreating.

Astrid continued to mirror this and more and more shifts to her little Wonderland realm began to happen while I listened to her needs and saw her for who she is. So, even what she started off with when first moving into this home, transformed. Much like it did for me.

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All but that cardboard carrot cottage, which every morning she would chew away on more and more.

She tells me that she was doing this for three-fold reason.

One, she was moving energy through that chewing, as rabbits do, and this in reflection and addition to changes she processes and supports beyond even herself.

Two, she was trying to get my attention that this house just won’t do anymore. “I want a better lookout place to oversee things in the forest and to see into the Cosmos when the stars come out. I want a stronger fortress to create boundaries when I need them from the energies abound, so I can do my work more easily. I prefer my feet feeling grounded and supported with a strong foundation, rather than walking on flimsy, moving cardboard. I prefer castles over cottages because it’s who I am and deserve it – thank you for seeing that. I want to go bigger.”

And three, she wanted to remind me about the concept of building the new, which you can’t do upon an old foundation because the new structure will simply fall down. In order to build the new, you must work from the ground up, clear out all of the old that lies deep under the surfaces as well – the hidden stuff – and then rebuild and recreate from a whole new vision. This will create something lasting.

She’s so right.

Astrid would like me to break the latter one down further into digestible pieces of understanding.  So, here we go.

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Many times we try to build the new, but we don’t take time to look under the demolished building to see what it was standing on in the first place.

You can’t simply just put on new clothes, change location, get plastic surgery, or buy a new car.

Whatever you carried with you from before will still be there emanating and magnetizing things regardless of what the outside looks like.

But, if you do some psychic surgery, excavate into the emotional caverns of your heart, explore the inner realms and dig up the roots of your beliefs and patterns, you can then integrate and transmute, clear, and move beyond.

Then, the new you create has the ability to firmly root in clear fresh soil, without any of the old plants fighting for nourishment and energy.

Your new won’t come toppling down surprisingly one day when these old roots start surfacing again.

Astrid knows of these things because she and her rabbit family are so connected to Mother Earth.

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They hear her vibrations and understand the inner workings that support vibrant and renewing ecosystems.

They hear the vibrational frequencies emanating beneath the surface and can see beyond what we present to them.

They see things for how they really are.

And so Astrid compels us to take a deeper look.

astrid castle tower

If we want to stand firm with our new visions, then we need to be willing to tear down, chew up, and process that stuff we don’t want to experience anymore, find their gifts, and transmute them into a brand new reality.

Don’t forget your parts along the way.

If your carrot cottage no longer suits the essence of you, then build yourself a strong castle tower where you can see more clearly from.

Yet, don’t forget those roots!

Astrid thinks everyone would do well with having some rabbit teeth for those nasty little buggers.

Chew, grind, and chew again, until they’re broken down and easily digestible.

Doing so will provide the nourishment needed to create new realities based on wisdom of the past and vision of the future, integrated right here and now.

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Have a question for Astrid? She welcomes you to share them and we both send a lot of love to everyone processing the old and working on creating and building the new.

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