Today Astrid would like to speak to that little voice inside of many of you that sometimes wishes to just curl up in a ball and shrink back into a dark corner or closet – maybe even just pull the covers over your head and pretend the world has no idea you exist. Maybe you prefer being invisible sometimes and this can serve well in specific cases, but perhaps you’re holding yourself back out of fear or a deep-seeded experience that leaves you afraid to put yourself out there.
Living so close to, and intimately with, the ground and Earth, rabbits know how to “hide” well, but this can have a two-fold meaning of either having the need to camouflage and blend in or that you have made yourself so small that you are un/under-recognized for who you are and the gifts that you embody.
Rabbits know the importance of awareness and protection, but they are not shy about exhibiting their exuberance and big personalities when they feel the urge to do so. In fact, they will leap with glee when the moment moves them, or rise to the challenge with fierceness, despite being seen as small, timid and fragile creatures.
They are extraordinary sound navigators who know when to seize the moment and “hop” into new territories and experiences. Their ultra-sensitivities create the light when all seems lost and dark.
And this is the place Astrid wants to address for those of you who find yourself feeling lost so much, desire to shrink away, or aren’t even aware that you are diminishing your light when it’s needed the most right now in the world.
Invisibility can definitely be a gift, but it doesn’t serve you or the collective to live in the dark eternally.
Life can’t go on, nor thrive, without light.
Astrid knows there are times she’s been afraid and that she’s needed to regulate her energy so as to find that balance of protection and safety, while also making herself known and asserted.
If she had remained purely in fear by her circumstances and triggers, she would not only not have survived, but not have been recognized for the gifts she has. Marcy of SaveABunny and her staff of volunteers saw her because of the big energy she put out, and of course we know that this is also how she and I made the connection.
We both had to rise to our highest and most whole, to have a meeting of equals merge into partnership and recognition of reflection.
We could easily have missed a beautiful chance if we both stayed small.
How many times might you have missed out on an opportunity because you kept yourself small?
How much of your dreams are you not able to experience because you hesitate to share your gifts?
How much love do you hold back from yourself because you’re scared to show others who you really are or to feel how worthy you are?
Is it disappointment, hurt, anger, or guilt that makes us fear ourselves and our power?
I often wonder why these feelings win out over love over and over again.
Astrid shares that responsibility can play a part in this process we seem to be learning in exercising our gifts and powers.
But she and I both agree that responsibility can can carry its own weight that isn’t always tempered with love, but analyzed and dissected by ego.
So in fact it, too, can lead us astray of going bigger, as it tries to work out every angle to satisfy another excuse not to shine forth.
While we think that hiding serves us well, in most cases it is a reaction to something now or from a “past” that didn’t go the way we hoped. And even though those triggers and experiences are gone, we are still operating as if they are happening right now.
This perpetuates our “staying small” and unable to shine our inner lights, like rabbits do, to navigate us through the dark tunnel labyrinths of experience.
And in some cases, we devise ingenious ways of talking ourselves out of letting our energy out bigger to serve our ego fears and can even find spiritual bypassing ways of describing it and why it makes sense to do so.
Truth is, if you want to find a reason not to do something you can always find one.
And when it comes to our wholeness and embodying our potential, we have all the excuses in the world why not to do that.
Whether or not those excuses are valid is between you and yourself.
Astrid wants to remind you that it’s okay to recognize when camouflage and invisibility can serve us and be a magickal tool in our back pocket to pull out now and then, but “hiding” when rising would benefit you most, is not the healthiest choice to always fall back on.
It’s okay to learn as you go and make instant adjustments along the way. Chances are, you’ve already done years of work so truly, now is about the experiential classroom. This is about being both student and teacher and bringing integrity and humbleness to the process of being.
Now, more then ever your gifts, your light, your essence is needed in the world.
And while you think you may be alone in facing those frightful triggers, experiences, and the things that feel scary in the world, you are not.
More and more souls are finding that the way out of hiding is to actually step out. No one is going to force you out nor pull you out. Only you can make that choice, but it’s a very liberating choice that once made – even in small steps – suddenly helps make sense of an upside down world and brings authentic power to the forefront.
Astrid says, “The more you wear a mask, the less you will ever know yourself. It’s not just others you hide from in doing so, nor whom are robbed of knowing your beauty and experiencing your ripple across the world. You are the one who is hurt the most when your light is kept small.”
Astrid knows how I, too, have kept myself small in the past and straddled timidly between two worlds of fears and hopes.
“And what did that do for you?” she asks me.
“It kept me stuck,” I replied. “Torn and tormented between two worlds warring against each other, rather than teaming together and empowering myself into truly living, rather than merely surviving.”
That reminds me of a favorite line Julia Roberts says in Steel Magnolias, “I’d rather have 30 seconds of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”
How about you?
If coming out of hiding gave you the most enriching and fulfilling experience you’ve ever known and was better than your wildest dreams, wouldn’t it be worth “going bigger” for, even if it wasn’t forever?
Not that it couldn’t or wouldn’t be forever, but you won’t know it until you try it.
Or is the known feeling of suffering and smallness, more comforting?
“Everyone has the ability to go bigger, no matter what their circumstances are. You are creative beings and therefore have unlimited ways to bring through more of your potential. Feel bigger! Thinking is only half the story, but your heart will guide you past the limits of your mind,” Astrid says.
It’s not easy, I know, and can be quite sticky with layers, but personally I decided that the possibility of that total enrichment far outweighed the illusion of safety in the darkness.
Astrid says, “That safety is an illusion that keeps you away from your truth….away from being who you really are and experiencing what you have available. That illusion is the fix to experiencing the true power within your heart.”
And she’s so right.
We think we stay safe by staying small and hidden, but by making that our “norm” we not only get to experience more of it, but are dying a slow death.
Choosing to go bigger and stop hiding happens for each person at different times in their life or soul journey and in different ways, by different triggers, and timings, so there isn’t just “one” way to get there.
Yet the one thing we all have in common is “potential.”
And the more each of us do our best to rise to that potential, the easier it becomes for others to do the same.
Rather than spend time trying to make others step into their potential, why not utilize our resources to “be” the potential?
Rabbit doesn’t wait for snake to see the “potential” when it threatens her kits rather than finding something else to eat that day. Rabbit rises to her “potential” and becomes the bigger rabbit she knows herself to be and chases off the snake.
Yep, that’s right. There are videos out there that catch mother rabbits fighting off poisonous, deadly snakes to save their babies. It’s incredible, but this is the truth of their wholeness they weave in and out of, as they carry it at their core always.
And I’ve seen this happen not only with people, but myself as well, where we’re put into dire situations and then rise to the occasion.
But wouldn’t it be wonderful to rise always, rather than only when threatened or in our darkest hour?
Those moments demonstrate that we have it in us, but we choose not to always shine the light.
Astrid carries this bigger energy with her always. You can see it and feel it, even if not demonstrated every second, but when she wants to, she does. She’s not afraid to let you know it’s simply who she is, nor is she worried how you might judge her. She knows the truth of who she is will reach the truth of each of us and when truth meets, that’s the most authentic and fulfilling experience, regardless of result. Yet, it also helps reflect and draw to her exactly what she needs and wants to see, while not missing out on what it feels to be alive.
I asked Astrid if she has any advice to offer to someone wanting not to hide anymore, but is too afraid.
She thinks a moment and replies in her own way, “There will never be a perfect moment to wait to do something and tomorrow is not always a promise. We can’t survive alone in the dark forever. Night turns into day and it is your nature to do the same. In and out you weave, but weave you must, or cease to be. Both the Sun and Moon know just when to shine on the Earth or how to allow others the same. Yet they DO and WILL shine in fullness and never cease to shine while others are. They dance in and out, sharing the stage of the grand show. You may not know how stepping forth and being bigger will be embraced, but embrace it for yourself and you will find your place on the horizon amidst the other stars. It’s there that we will meet, heart-to-heart.”
What I’ve learned, and Astrid describes so beautifully, is that the truth of who you are is not something you can hide from forever. It catches up to us, no matter how fast we run away. Just as the Sun’s light keeps shining, despite your only seeing it half the day, so does your light, despite blanketing it in vein.
Eventually, your essence will see its way through, so why not give it a boost out?
“That’s right! Being who you really are is what we need most in the world at this time and is the greatest service to humanity,” concludes Astrid.
Last night while we headed out for our second wind of the night’s outings, just as we turned the bend at the tip of the forest, a raccoon caught my eye to the left. It was no more than a day or two ago that we were having a conversation with friends where Dave mentioned not ever seeing a raccoon, opossum, porcupine, etc. and I told him – “Oh they’re out there, they just don’t show up when you want, plus you’re usually asleep when they’re exploring about. They slip through the veils when needed.” And then she did.
When asking Astrid to think about what she wanted to share for today’s message of her blog, she told me to go ahead and go out first to enjoy the snow and more snow shoeing, while she thought about it and would send me her ideas while out in the forest. And, of course she did.
While out in the forest I received two messages from her. One, was the image of the raccoon and the second was some sadness – my own – and some words “illusion of loss.” I continued snow shoeing, wondering about the tie-in and why she wanted me to go out, but it then hit me while the snow was coming down all around us and all of the forest was deep in blankets of white.
Everything around me had changed pretty much overnight since the eve of Thanksgiving, going from Fall’s warm colors and brittle leaves, to a slumber where signs of life are dormant and the purity of snow infuses its own cleansing alchemy.
It might appear like life is no where to be found, but in fact it is never gone and is in process of deep renewal – the kind you believe in, but won’t answer to your hopes until you’ve all but forgotten your dreams.
Astrid reminds me that the holidays can be very beautiful and warm times because of the love in our hearts the magick kindles, but they are also full of nostalgia, memories, and in many cases – a sense of loss, emptiness, and loneliness.
These are times people reflect on dear ones who are no longer physically with us and Astrid knows that lately we’ve heard of many souls moving on, which makes it challenging for those of us left behind with our feelings that are magnified now.
She reminds me that I, too, am one of those souls who deeply misses my dear ones and she brings this up for me to impart a message from her she knows won’t immediately take away the pains any of us feel, but assures us can be the alchemy we desire.
She prompts me to share what I’ve learned through my “losses,” while she helps channel her message through my processing. And by “loss” she means, having experienced my dearest friends that resided on Earth in animal bodies with me, returning to the stars.
So I reflected on the snow, bitter wind, and the blankets of white draped over the once colorful landscape and the feelings that flow through watery tears and sometimes cast a frozen burn upon my heart. They are one and the same….an illusion of something we think we can’t see or touch anymore in the same way, but underneath it all, remains and is ever-renewing, expanding, and preparing to blossom again and again.
She reminds me how much I LOVE the snow and its magick, even though it can be harsh and even take lives away from the creatures of Earth when her presence is thick with icy illusion.
Yet, I have not thought of snow and Winter as wrong or hurtful. It simply is another form of beauty that transforms and kindles a spark of inspiration in my heart and brings me closer to pure grace of being.
The same is how I’ve experienced physical death – when I allow myself to go through the flow of icy tears and memories, I’ve arrived at the magick of pure and simple love that suddenly drops into the true experience of eternal spirit that inhabits the vortex of my heart.
The loss is no longer truth because the gain is far more permeable and returns me to essence.
Winter. Death. They are both passing cycles and they are both ironically beautiful. Inherent in the state of each, is a remarkable alchemy that draws forth the depths of our hearts to feel things we normally want to run from or put a coat over to keep the chill out. But if we run our fingers over an icicle, we can begin to feel the burn.
This is the flame of life – the fire that raises the ashes – the burn of Cosmic love – the inferno of eternity.
Astrid knows I go through this burning continuum every time waves of memories and winds of spirit flash through me of my loved ones gone. They are a merging of then, now, and beyond, and once I move through the reminders of then, inherent is the presence of now.
The bridge becomes the heart and we become One.
I am seeing eternity through the eyes of loss and death. Just as I am seeing promise and inspiration through the eyes of Winter’s veil.
And so, raccoon reveals herself.
No longer to be hidden away in the dark, striking behind the shadows.
I/we come face-to-face with the truth.
Raccoons are known as great shapeshifters and tricksters.
Some may even refer to them as thieves, stealing away or hiding things from you in the dark of night.
Caroline Myss has written about the thief archetype saying that he, “sheds light on the potential wealth within you that can never be stolen.”
Our dear ones, our dreams, the things we think we have lost and can’t touch or experience the way we used to love, were never truly taken from us.
The only thing we ever lost was our understanding of real love.
Love that truly sees.
Love that truly feels.
Love that truly is eternal.
Love that bridges all illusions and boundaries.
Love that knows the inherent beauty in all things.
Love that brings everything into the now.
Love that expands and renews, over and over again.
Astrid reminds us that we have the strength and courage, just like fearless raccoon, to see through any difficult situation with ingenuity, flexibility, and possibility.
Like Spring inevitably comes after Winter, it is also inherent in Winter’s embrace.
They aren’t a one-after-the-other experience, but part of each other right now.
You experience things as beautiful because inherently your spirit recognizes the totality of something even if your ego and conscious mind only sees one thing.
Just as Nature recognizes our true nature and hopes to remind and reflect back to us the totality of who we are at any given moment – every cycle, every experience, every emotion, and thought are all of who we are now.
Our loved ones are all of who we are now.
They are eternally here behind the veils we erect.
And when you catch those glimpses of their spirit moving through the wind, when you feel their breath send the hairs on your arm and back of your neck to stand on end, when you see a shadow and spark out of the corner of your eye, or simply when your heart swells with enormous floods of love…you’ve pulled down the veils, removed the masks of slumber and judgment, you’ve turned on the light in the dark, and opened a locked door.
Those we love are with us and in everything around us.
We’re ready to experience the multi-dimensionality of life and open to new potentials and great change.
Astrid walks between worlds…between being grounded and on Earth and far-off in the Cosmos and although she understands the challenge we have of grasping these concepts, it is her desire to help open the portals to our hearts so we can walk with her into the realms of possibility. When we see only half the story, we are choosing to keep our lives compartmentalized.
We are choosing to remain small and separate.
We are choosing to keep those we love away from us, rather than with us.
Creatures of the night, like raccoon, can help reveal the truth of the heart and bring us the gifts they’ve been hiding away – into the light.
And what was lost can now be found.
Those that left, we’ll discover just tucked themselves away in our hearts, revealing the greatest magick trick there is – the power of love to unlock everything.
Astrid sends her love to everyone and hopes the seeds within her words take root.
This Scorpio Full Moon has been incredibly powerful for supporting shifts and transitions right now and I’ve noticed that for many of us who have been diligently and consciously embracing the work with open arms of readiness, we are finding ourselves in a whole new reality asking us to walk with courageous knowing of heart through the door fully.
That seems to look like new career paths where loss of jobs that have run their course and more aligned passions are coming to fruition, selling of homes and simplifying life to move on to more resonant places and lives that support the new changes, experiencing illnesses or the need for more self-nurturing and balance to function more efficiently and with greater clarity and connection, experiencing the physical loss of loved ones both in animal and human bodies that are mirroring our changes and supporting our growth with their own cycles, relationships whether friendships, romantic, or even family dynamics coming to end or starting anew to align with the changes we’ve been asking for and working towards, or simply just knowing that change is needed and the ways one has been living life can no longer sustain the new energies flowing through.
Nothing will look or be as it once was.
Yesterday we did a short two mile hike on Park Avenue Trail, which to me is so misnamed.
This trail reflected to me Egyptian and Cosmic energies…very powerful, even royal in essence. It did have a more Divine Masculine energy, in my opinion, which would unite that dynamic within both the Male and Female to unify this energy within.
It seemed like it could have been named something more like Valley of the Kings.
It was not the old, but new Masculine that we can each embrace within ourselves to become empowered Men and Women, as we each have that energy within us. And it is this energy that will support our intuitive guidance into active, creative manifestation.
My favorite rock formation welcomes you at the start of this trail, although I could not find any information at the trailhead speaking of this rock and no one, at least that I have seen over the days we’ve passed it or on this day, paid attention to it. So it seemed to only speak to those who this spirit guide works with.
To me, he looks like a Cosmic being, perhaps of the Cosmic council, and since I felt a more masculine energy, also reminds me of Akhenaten – the Egyptian Pharaoh who was thought to be of extraterrestrial origin because of his “strange” appearance and “mysterious” revolutionary ways.
I’ve always had a resonance with Akhenaten and found myself most drawn to him when visiting Egypt the two times in this life that I did.
As Megaera Lorenz shares, “Akhenaten is all things to all people — to some he was a fanatical lunatic, to some he comes across as a strange, eccentric young man whose behavior was strongly influenced by his mother, to others he was a Christ-like visionary and a mentor of Moses, and to still others he was simply someone who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and who really had nothing to do with the dramatic reformations that went on during his reign.”
Sounds a bit like the Fool card in Tarot.
Everytime I have seen this Cosmic Being in Park Avenue, I have felt such a strong pull and reverence for the energies he embodies.
Something very revolutionary in the energy invited by him here as you enter and descend into a spectacular canyon surrounded by panels that feel like Monolithic Egyptian structures that once may have been shaped like Sphinxes.
And other large structures that look like temples along with one rock named “Sheep Rock” that is more like a Sphinx to me as well.
There is another very cool formation they call “The Three Gossips” that I feel could have been called something like “The Three Wise Men” or “Three Kings” – again all of these being wrongfully named in my opinion in terms of their essence.
But perhaps that is part of the mystery here and that each of us will receive what we are meant to.
There is also a large stone structure that looks just like a giant throne, although isn’t named as anything or noted by the park.
However, if something is named something by others then that automatically may condition a trigger within to associate the energy differently than what it really is.
Again, that would be perfect to what each needs, but might then be a process of inner revelation and turning within to know what it truly means to you beyond the labels and definitions others have placed upon them.
This valley was one of the most deceptive in these terms, I felt, but then perfect as to knowing how to access the keys within to journey through the reality of your choice.
All of this feeling to mirror the illusions of life that we all do or are currently facing, as energies are being revealed layer by layer to align us more with the truth that lies within.
And when recognized and embraced, you will experience everything in your life from a completely different perspective, as well as receive the treasures to guide you on a more empowered path of conscious co-creation.
Last night, after dinner at an awesome Sushi place called Sabaku Sushi that has a great selection of vegan sushi and other vegan dish options, we decided to enter Arches by moonlight to experience and receive the Moon’s illumination.
It was really mystical, first the Moon was crystal clear in the sky and then as we approached our destination of Balanced Rock, a mysterious haze blanketed the Moon creating a golden glow behind, between, and around the rock, also bringing it to life as an other worldly being.
We stopped at my favorite rock at the entrance of Park Avenue Trail too, and by this time the Moon was behind a cloud, which again revealed that the veils were something one must see through on their own to receive clarity.
The Moon helps us to see the mysteries within if we dare venture deeply for that truth.
And so, I say to each of you…..do you see the reality that others have defined for you, or are you seeing the truth that only you know within your heart?
As you walk through these transitions in your life, know that they may not appear as what you’ve been conditioned to think they are, but will reveal a more authentic experience of life as you desire.
They may be challenging and seem uncomfortable, but that is simply a process of becoming more you until it is a natural experience once again.
Much like growing pains we have all gone through, but this time it’s moving through the vortex of spirit release from restriction into your more expansive self.
That funnel-like journey seems tight and painful, but releases with ease once you pass through the tunnel.
Just keep moving forward with trust in your own heart knowing.
(Interesting note: After I posted this, I decided to ask around yesterday at the visitor center to see about the rock that felt like Akhenaten to me. I found out that it is known as Queen Nefertiti Rock, but also considered a “balancing rock.” This made sense, as I had heard two women talking, upon our return on the Park Avenue Trail. I didn’t see where they were pointing, as I was climbing back up to the parking lot, but it was at the area you could have been peering up at this formation. One woman was pointing something out to the other and said, “that’s the balancing rock,” explaining what that meant. Since I had no idea at the time that it was this, I wasn’t sure what she might be talking about. Now I know she meant this rock, that to me feels more to be Akhenaten, but known as Queen Nefertiti. Interesting that somehow she knew it more as a “balancing rock” than by any name though. But also interesting to note about this is twofold….One, it confirms the Egyptian energy I was feeling without knowing this. And two, Nefertiti was Akhenaten’s wife. And Nefertiti’s image is far more popular in mainstream than Akhenaten, as she is considered to many, Egypt’s most beautiful queen. Perhaps linking to the western values associated with something like Park Avenue. As Akhenaten was not your typical man, nor one that would be revered with his feminine qualities in both looks and ideas. However, Akhenaten was a pharaoh not only known to potentially have extraterrestrial origin, but all depictions show him as having feminine characteristics, including a voluptuous stomach and buttocks, breasts…this link discusses some of this: http://www.heptune.com/Marfans.html. In hieroglyphics I remember seeing in Egypt, both Nefertiti and Akhenaten looked very similar in their family depictions. Nefertiti’s head piece being more straight-edged and angular and Akhenaten’s a bit rounded and straight. You can see this a bit in these images below. So, one could easily mistaken them for each other and since Akhenaten is the most mysterious pharaoh that was in touch with his feminine parts, they easily could resemble each other. – Anyway, there is no right or wrong in what someone sees. I am merely sharing what I felt from the energies here and providing more insight to explore for yourself. Either way – Nefertiti or Akhenaten – I feel that the Sacred Masculine Energy, which is one that unites with the Sacred Feminine, is being celebrated here.)
Another great post share from Laura Bruno I felt guided to repost here. Today, Laura and I both simultaneously, literally at the same time, posted videos from two visionaries sharing the name Alex/ander today, which we giggled together at the synchronicity again. I really like these videos by Alexander Barry – aka Patrick Dixon, as he touches on things (especially in the first video) my brother and I have spent hours, over the years since my early 20’s, discussing in the very same light. This is great stuff, as Laura remarked, that is “undeniably integrative.” I also love and agree with Laura’s share, in tandem with Patrick’s discussion on the Lucifer Archetype providing us the ability to look at surfaces: “The whole New Age movement is just fluff, but it’s based on some actual Truth if you dig around long enough, just like any of the world religions. The problem with the New Age material, for the most part, is that it’s been co-opted and just slightly misses the mark or keeps the deepest secrets hidden but then presents itself as giving all the secret answers beyond the ‘traditional’ religions. It’s very deceptive. That said … the reason it’s able to be so deceptive is because it does keep a fair amount of Truth hidden in plain view. That attracts seekers. Very few continue to observe themselves and observe Nature to be able to sort out which things are fluff and which things are valuable.”
Today I’m posting two videos featuring actor, scholar, poet and speaker, Alexander Barry, aka Patrick Dixon.
Video 1 gives an overview and context of various beings associated with Human Evolution at this time. It contains fascinating information about Archetypes and their interplay with the evolutionary drama on this planet. “The final frontier is really the awakening and the perception across the threshold of the so-called dead who are not dead. And that’s coming. More and more children are being born who can remember past lives, and that’s what’s coming for humanity. … People who can see across the thresholds.”
Taken together, these videos almost feel like the time-lapse unfolding of a plant, from seed to sprout to leaf to flower to seed to winter to seed to spring — a continuous growth cycle of ideas. I’ve had the privilege of reading some of Alexander’s writings and found them simultaneously mind…
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