I won’t be blogging on my birthday, which is this Monday 2/26, so I thought I’d share some thoughts in a post, today, on this nine year anniversary of Joy’s arrival into my life – one of the greatest birthday gifts to date! Although age is meaningless to the eternal spirit, it IS interesting to reflect on all of the judgments and ideas we have around age, which also deters people from humanly acknowledging it, as well as determines life protocol for many to try to reverse it or even speed it up. Although, I’ve never taken issue to stating my age, I have been guilty of all of these things in my past.
In fact, rather than be afraid of or feel protective of my age to the degree of feeling it is no one’s business, I was quite the opposite, where I was adamant to share my age because I could feel the judgments of others upon me and my insecurity around that to blast through their ideas about me. In part, this was my own projection, but being an intuitive, it was largely in response to knowing what people were thinking, and wanting to nip that in the bud immediately.
I recall having meaningful conversations with people in my past and knowing by my outside appearance and things they alluded to, like asking what school I was going to (when in fact I was way past high school and college age) and the way they looked at me in a protectively patronizing way, that they weren’t taking me seriously. Coming from a past of “feeling the need to prove myself” anyway, this of course was my perfect experience called up to move through that.
But, at the time, it just made me want to blurt out how old I was because I knew the connotations attached to age that obviously I was buying into, too, as a sensitive and boundary-less Pisces. So, rather than hide my age, I wore it on my sleeve. And perhaps that might run deeper than simply this, as I also knew the ancient aspects of spirit and to come back again on Earth, starting all over, might even feel demeaning.
Although I know it is a gift and meaningful choice, now, there would definitely have been unconscious anger or resentment over incarnating – an experience locked deep in our DNA, I feel, as a whole, for many reasons.
And so, there I was fighting back with announcing my age, to appease my feelings that not only in fact what I had to say was meaningful and important, but my incarnating here had purpose I was trying to remind myself with this declaration.
I’m not sure if I’m conveying this in the depth of potency it has, but in realizing and understanding this, it made a huge shift and got more parts of myself aligned and on board, rather than having an internal fight against myself, which only adds to the depletion of self love and creates more fragmenting and less empowerment.
The greatest battle and ongoing war, is truly the one within and I believe it stems from so much subconscious anger at our humanness.
And this made sense, as I always felt more inhuman and thus laid ahead a journey of merging and a return to natural harmony.
Then there was the young me wishing I was older and wanting to race through the years as fast as I could because I not only knew my younger years would be the hardest, but I also soulfully knew it wasn’t until later, in my mid-forties, that I would find my peace and really start “living.” A cruel form of intuitive vision when you know you STILL have to go through the years to get there. Yet, I wanted to escape, as much as I knew I couldn’t.
And still yet, there was the me who bought into these ideas of physically reversing age. Mind you, not in any fanatical way, but I was aware of ways in which one could “look” their best and all of those catch phrases even in the spiritual community that are about longevity, reversing the clock, ways one “should” look or how life should look if you are “ascending,” and what you “should” be able to do and accomplish if you are in fact turning back the sands of time.
I still marvel at this messaging and collective-buy-into, today, and although I understand aging is not a spiritual attribute, we are still on a three dimensional planet, we do still have individual journeys that are not measured by a certain amount of time we need to be here, and we are still judging what something looks like and associating it with living a life that’s “less than” if in fact it doesn’t fit into what collectively we see as “ideal” and “vibrant”. Just another form of self-abuse masked as spiritual enlightenment.
Are there things you can do to reverse physical appearance? Sure, but if in fact you are healthy, happy, and aligned in your expression of you, why then does that matter here on Earth?
If I want to have silver hair or wrinkles, why does that automatically mean I’m deficient? Or that there’s something wrong? I am still part human, and that part isn’t necessarily what I’ve chosen to walk in forever. Perhaps these indicate my true eternal quality? Why is there only one way to characterize this or see it?
There isn’t just one way, and I feel that the faster we open ourselves to multiple perspectives and possibilities, the faster we will free ourselves into a more grace-filled way of being and come into our multi-dimensionality.
Why do I bring this up?
Well, for one, I feel that vulnerability and transparency are powerful and key things to bring forth into our lives in greater frequency right now. Something I just shared yesterday on my Facebook feed with these reflections:
Everything points to going deeper into our hearts and connecting through them, with these as the guiding forces. The more we nurture these within, the more we encounter empowered embodiment, authentic experiences, connections, clarity, and alignment in our manifestations. And, the less we encounter triggers, hidden surprises, and forced change or reaction to what is revealed in the collective environment.
I feel that being vulnerable and transparent isn’t so much about allowing everything to bombard us as it pleases, but involves also a healthy balance of knowing and exercising our boundaries. This isn’t about hiding or repressing ourselves, however, but about knowing how to say “no” and not allowing certain frequencies to shift our own. Being openly expressive is not draining in this vein, but empowering and helps increase vitality. What is draining is when we fight our true expression or are having to deal with unwanted energies. Vulnerability and transparency is being willing to share the truth in our hearts and this helps others not to be afraid to do the same too. Fear around this is draining our energy, as we use so much of it to hide, worry, or create walls, which inhibit our gifts to shine through.
We can all shine, regardless of age, physical appearance, the list of accomplishments you have, or the things you own in your life.
The way I’ve discovered doing this is to live life out loud and to “create life as a work of art” – my motto.
I share the photo above, as it is the most recent photo of me (a week old) that reflects a much more peaceful, harmonious, grounded, embodied, softer, more secure, gently joyful, balanced, and creatively passionate me.
Vibrant bursts of color reflect my soul song frequency and inspire creativity to bubble through. Perhaps it’s the artist me or perhaps I’m simply inspired by Nature and how she exudes life force in every shade of beauty possible. Her blossoming myriad of expressions sing of love.
She is a woman of my heart and the only example I take to heart of how to live in the grace of being.
I love that now I have no emotional trigger or any tiny weirdness around my human expression and emanation of my spirit.
I will still always have resonance to otherworlds, but no longer need to prove that, nor anything else about my being here the way I choose to show up, as once my younger Earthly self felt she needed to do.
Merging embrace of my multi-dimensional self allows me the ability to enjoy each different aspect for what ever they are and however I am choosing to express them, without attachment.
They are ALL me and as the artist me, and using the power of creative love through me, I know their intrinsic beauty and value in the spiral of consciousness.
I now walk this reality as alive as ever, because it is my canvas to create in the reflection of my essence and my playground for exploration and total freedom of how I want to share that in any given moment.
Although chronological age is not important, the numerology factor is still interesting and revealing to explore.
45 is a combination of the energy of 4, 5 and their combined total of 9.
4 builds solidity and stability, foundations for self and others, draws forth passion and drive together for achieving success (whatever that means to you), and 5 adds personal freedom, adventure, creativity, courage to explore unknowns, letting imagination go free, versatility, major life shifts through lessons learned, while 9 brings things full circle, adds patience, intuition, soul mission, inner strength, sense of personal responsibility, humanitarianism, global focus, living and leading by example, and spiritual enlightenment.
These feel to be the energies I’m integrating at this time of my life and the foundations of where I am and where I’m headed.
I read that 45, numerologically, has a focus on putting your efforts and energy towards the things in your life that enhance and fully embody who you truly are – from the smallest of things to the largest of things – what we surround ourselves with, what we wear even, the things we focus on and are working on bringing into the world, and our lifestyle choices and overall life in general. It’s also about really putting things into full-embodied action so results manifest, keeping focused, and integrating a more pragmatic way to be a guiding force.
I’m also going to be igniting a 12/3 year come my birthday and this speaks to the creative rebirth taking place for me, an inner calling surfaced, release from all karmic ties, and everything coming together in my life story as I reach a significant stage on my journey.
So, while I may have been wanting to fast forward things in my younger years, I can understand why that visionary part of me was looking forward to now, as this truly is the most full-circle time of my time here on Earth – this life and aspect of my multi-dimensional self – and the most peace-filled.
There is peace no matter what today or tomorrow brings, as there is peace right here and now in my heart.
My new thing in recent years has been to gift myself birthday gifts to not only celebrate the new energy with supportive things that light up my heart, but to celebrate all that I’ve gone through to be here.
This year seemed to start a few months early, as truly wonderful birthday gifts were received from friends, loved ones, and family far before now, and some incredible surprises along the way that truly touched my heart.
So many of them were rabbit-focused and went along with the theme of my Wonderland office, with Alice in Wonderland fun.
My favorite gifts-to-self include the colorful, handmade shawl you see me wearing in the photo, two necklaces (including an incredibly magickal rabbit and a powerful “origins” and DNA activator), another gorgeous Faery book (I gifted myself one last year too), a custom made pen (for the writer me), a custom made wand (for the ancient me), and a “crown” chakra headpiece I’ve had intention of for years, but took until now to draw in the perfect one. Seems appropriate.
I don’t have any particular plans this year on my birthday, so we’ll see what intuitively and organically shows up, but we will be embarking on a super fun adventure March 7th – 17th, which feels to be my birthday journey of origins and more.
We’ll be heading to Arizona, first spending 3 days with Dave’s family in Tucson and then heading up to the Grand Canyon to meet up with our sweet friends you’ve heard me mention in past Summer posts – KC, aka Bean, and Clint, aka Happy. My Faery and Elf friends who returned my two giant quartz to their momma after my foot fracture and who took me on a Cirrus G6 private flight over Lake Tahoe.
From there, we head into the GC for an epic trekking and camping adventure, to introduce the energy and magick of this realm to us. Well, more me, because Dave has been inside of the GC before, but I haven’t. I’ve only explored the rim. Nor have I ever done this kind of trek, as I only camped a tiny bit when I was a little girl. Our adventures have been limited, but oh-so not limiting, to the Magick Bus RV living.
But come March, Bean and Happy (who will be working in the GC starting a week after our adventure, are GC experts, and love her inside and out) will be sharing her with us through their eyes, as we venture into her mysteries for several days. This will be an intro only, as we couldn’t do a super long trek this go-around, so more will definitely have to come once we sink our feet into the Earth here.
The reason I said this will be a journey of origins and more has to do with the ancient Earth here and the energy, which I know will be activating for me and synchronizes with my origins theme, because apparently there are hidden Egyptian temples that predate Egypt by 7000 years tucked safely away in the canyon walls for only certain eyes to see (this info coming to me all at once from several sources). Regardless of actually seeing them, the energy will be there and this connects more dots with why I felt so compelled to go on this trip, why it fell into place so seamlessly (including super challenging permits they were able to get for us for it), and ties into that Africa energy (which I’ve had more interesting dots light up with other connections too, since those posts).
A “Grand” birthday/new year/kick off indeed!
However, the greatest gift is this storybook year for me, and that my book’s completion and manifestation is close at hand and along with writing it, I’m writing a new reality into being from my heart.
I’m so grateful for every chapter of this story of life and that you have all been willing to colorfully show up and play in it with me, through the fun and challenge, and through the mystery and adventure of it all.
We’re finally down to the wire with house renovation work, which means we’re beginning to find our new groove with what life will be like here without all the commotion and activity of contractors. We are basically done redecorating (I think we’re only waiting on one piece of furniture to arrive) besides minor touches I’m sure we’ll continue to fine-tune over time, only have a hand full of contractor days remaining (that will be spread throughout now and end of the month (so no more daily invasions), and are starting to get back to our longer hikes and Dave’s been getting out skiing.
One cool thing that completed this last week was our downstairs room we made into an exercise/meditation room, which we’ve never had before, but because the physical is equally as important, this is a good integration room. We feel it important to bring even more body and resonant/aligned types of exercise into our lives when we aren’t out in nature doing that, alongside the peace and stillness we’re bringing in. That’s a good way to ground, embody, and manifest too!
And speaking of exercise, we got out on some bigger hikes this week, which included hiking from our house to the lake for the first time. The full loop is about 4 and a half miles.
We are only a two mile hike away from Lake Tahoe and whether you go one way and back or take the loop, you’ll find yourself meandering through a variety of beauty to include, creeks, forest, meadows, rock outcrops, ponds, beach, and yes, the huge ocean-like lake.
We also discovered that in 18 minutes we can walk to our favorite Thai restaurant from our house or the Italian place next to it that has yummy vegan pizza. There’s also a hot pot place and a sushi place in the same complex – all with vegan options – so we can basically walk down for lunch if we want, not to mention can either walk or bike down to the beach in the summer to avoid the parking crowds. The same distance the other way also takes us to Safeway and all the shops there.
We’re constantly hit with surprises on why this house was so perfect for us and definitely creates a wellspring of things to be grateful for.
Alongside settling into life here and being able to focus more on other things besides the house, we’re gearing up for our first visitors in about a week and a half here.
However, in the meantime I’m finding it REALLY nice to be in the peace of my new shared office with Astrid and seeing my list of to-do’s dwindle completely away so that my time is freed for my book fully once again.
That’s a huge phew! as although I know getting the house anchored in was important, I have been hearing the call of my path saying, “it’s time!”
I will soon share photos of our new magick room where Astrid and I immerse in the good energies together and are master minding the new, but for now I thought I’d share some nature inspiration.
We are having a warm and late Winter so far, which means we’re still hiking and not snow shoeing yet, as we’ve only had 2-3 inches of snow dustings here about three times, even at 6600 elevation.
There’s more snow at the higher altitudes, but nothing close to last year’s record setting amounts, at all levels, and the overflowing creeks and rivers.
You definitely can’t predict anything anymore and it just makes you surrender into the beauty and surprise of the moment.
Like this beautiful, large grouse I noticed and who seemed to take note of us very deliberately.
Anyway, for my blog friends AND my mom who diligently follows along here as well, I thought I’d share some of Nature’s beauty recently from our getting back in the swing of things here. I post on Instagram, but know not everyone is on a social media platform.
Being able to know and experience peace doesn’t equate to constant bliss, but instead speaks to your ability to move into that centered place of harmony at any moment amidst chaos.
To me, ecstatic bliss is the opposite of chaos or the doldrums and creates a “this” or “that” view, but the harmonic frequency is one that dances without conditions and judgment, is always in tune with the origins of its voice, and knows only of the IS.
A short post update (and last until I finish my book), as I’m continuing to hunker down with my writing, to send a little New Moon and Equinox love your way. This week is another gateway for anchoring in new intentions and realities, which is why I’m keeping focused and listening to the guidance on completing my book during this potent portal – based on my progress so far and yesterday’s amazing writing day that definitely will happen this week YAY! We have a Virgo New Moon in a couple days and the Equinox rounding out the end of the week, so a wonderful transition time you can harness mindfully in empowering your own true source of light within.
Virgo urges us to bring our bodies back into balance and supports our journey of integrative healing on all levels, while doing this WITHOUT being self-critical and WITH a lot of loving attentiveness.
Once again, I feel like a literal embodiment of this message with my restructuring foot fracture and the healing integration and nurturing I’m following to create harmonious alignment with the new.
And embrace of this with gratitude and love has increased the process tenfold with blessings abound and productivity galore. Yesterday was truly one of those days I cherish, where I spent 8 hours in full writing mode, which had me lost in the creative world of my imagination and parallel realities. I felt like the fact that my writing brought me to tears and I was crying through the fluid channeling of the story that was unfolding in creative “real time” was a great sign that I was in the vortex and that the content streaming through WAS that real. I LOVE when this happens. Pure alchemy in motion. I also love when what I’m writing happens while I’m writing it, or after. Powerful stuff! A few more days of that and I’ll be done. It also demonstrated being in the zone of my essence, as I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else in the beauty of that experience and the joy of creating from my heart.
These are the inner shifts taking place at this time….aligning us with our “nature”.
A seasonal shift marks a time for inner shifts and repatterning ourselves to step into that flow of Nature’s cycles.
So be a best friend to your inner darkness and shadow, for understanding it engages healing integration that is vital for soul growth. We are encouraged to face our fears and retrieve all of the projections and separations we’ve created, which are illusionary. This leads us to alchemy of the heart.
We’re encouraged to also stop medicating the truth with fluffy avoidance and robotic affirmations, in order to sink into the nature of our BEINGNESS.
I find myself continuously swimming deeper and deeper into this experience of richer embodiment. When I think, wow, this is amazing, I’m then soon shown something even more incredible is possible because that’s the truth of it – there is no end to the possibilities. WE create endings, but it’s all a continuous beginning and recreating we can choose ways of experiencing.
I’ll leave you with these passages from an old post of mine that speaks to this:
Nature reminds us that we need to relinquish the need to hold on tightly with fear and to trust in the process – to allow ourselves to have everything we thought we knew about ourselves to be stripped away, only to discover a greater truth to our authenticity beneath the temporary structures.
And in the process you’ll discover the only thing that is eternal is the core essence of who you are beneath the temporal layers. You learn then that the rest isn’t as serious as you make it and is simply part of the journey to that core.
We let go, just as the trees effortlessly allow their leaves to shift colors and float off in the wind. We embrace the only permanence, which is change. And we take grateful stock of what we do have, while preparing for a new birthing that will be incubating during the symbolic stillness.
Seasonal transitions mirror the evolution of human consciousness and the dynamic shifts of life cycles.
The eternal cycles of birth and death, creation and destruction – all teach you the wisdom of harmonic co-existence.
You become a conscious and active partner in the rebirthing process, as you walk through the flames of destruction with grace.
It’s a good time to decide if you want to continue forward supporting your ego’s will or your soul’s destined journey. Decide what it is worth to you to live in the authenticity and joy of your essence, and what decisions you can make to release all that is not of that, in order to be all that is.
As we celebrate the Equinox and Autumn’s graceful arrival, let us remember to breathe in the beauty of who we are, trust in the cycles that will always return us to balance and harmony, and gently nurture the inner world, as we cleanse it of that which no longer serves and prepare for the renewing cycle that will be spiraling round again.
With my own foot fracture I feel I released the pressure of much and broke from one version (within and without) and allowed a new version to form, which released the temporary structure of old “me” to birth a new Pisces self with stronger foundations of what that means to me.
We constantly have these choices and possibilities that needn’t be harsh for us to experience, and yet our higher selves know EXACTLY what is of greatest support for us.
The Arrival of Higher Frequencies & Light-Speed Density Detoxes ~ July Energy Update with Lee Harris
Lee’s July Energy Update will likely speak to many of you so I’m sharing it here.
One thing that stood out, because of a theme I’ve been seeing and has come up with everyone I’m meeting and connecting with recently, is that of “healers with burnout” that Lee mentions.
I can’t tell you how many times the theme of “empaths” has been discussed in the last couple of weeks and people wanting advice or simply challenged by not knowing how to function optimally with all that’s happening around them, while they’re trying to also stay committed and focused on the new they’re feeling called to do in bigger ways.
I have to smile at the collective synchronicity each time it pops into conversation within minutes of meeting someone and am finding a lot of people touching in with me on this, not to mention being drawn here to Lake Tahoe.
It’s not a new topic FOR SURE, but I’m getting that people who are in transitional periods of their lives, are getting ready to take things to the next level, or are in soul question as to whether they can go the whole nine yards, are needing some catalytic boosts and Lee’s reminder of nurturing yourself, remembering to experience YOUR own journey with the integrations taking place without comparison and with lots of gentle love, giving yourself space to do what you need to stay balanced and on path to what you’ve chosen and are embracing, resting, and giving yourself “you” time are super important and not a luxury.
Things are shifting SO quickly and it’s causing a lot of “stuff” to detox through for sure. So stay grounded and present with the process…and take it one peaceful moment and day at a time.
I don’t get involved in the energetic dynamics at work in the world right now like others do, remaining mostly silent in words but loud in frequency, and that might be judged by some, thought to be a misuse of my freedoms, completely denied as valid to how I go about things, or simply that I’m crazy and ignorant. To all of that I smile and hold my position even stronger. I don’t attempt to hold answers, nor to judge others for their own positions. And mostly I find myself working with energy when others engage their conversations, or may present questions to invite curiosity, which engages the creative powers and activates something deeper and latent within.
Today two interesting posts popped up that I feel guided to combine some pieces of the shares and my comments on, in case anyone has interest in “some” of my perspective or feels similar and unsure of themselves, their own choices’ value, or feel alone out there in the Middle and Void.
I’ll begin with an interesting observation that I’ve linked in direct manifestation to things, which I’ve been seeing since yesterday morning. We live way high up at the top of the mountain and so the perspective here offers amazing reflections.
I shared on Facebook yesterday and this morning about a very interesting veil of clouds that has been here since yesterday morning and feels symbolically reflective for sure. I shared about it along with photos of the clouds and the volcanic sunset before they arrived, and the surreal almost neon sky here last evening.
This is what I shared this morning in reflection:
“Wow, incredibly the cloud veil that began yesterday morning covering all of Lake Tahoe and the lower basin area still remains this morning without a budge. The only shift was mid-day yesterday when it started to rise up a bit creating what looked like a perfect wall or screen…then it went back down. and all through the night last night, once the stars came out, the cloud veil was lit up without any light source, as if like star glow and cosmic phosphorescence was emanating from it. So mysterious! Being way up here to witness it is amazing and creates like two worlds. It’s like the lake is incubating and morphing below that veil. Also interesting that the deep waters are below the cloud coverage, as if asking one to look beyond all illusions and reach courageously into one’s depths to the core. Truly nothing is as it seems…it’s not what you see on the surface. Let’s find the strength and vulnerability to go within and understand the truth of what we’re being presented that gives rise to so much immediate reaction. Let’s find our center so we can respond from a place of greater understanding and peace.”
Interestingly Laura posted a blog article today mentioning “looking beyond the veil” and about taking “conscious empowered action” toward the world you want to create.
My comment there not only addresses the current scene people are focused on right now, but truly is intended as a bigger picture life perspective of working with opposites, triggers, and creating the new, as I never just focus on one detail taking place, but a bigger picture symbolism for things playing out.
Some of my comment included this below, along with sharing about the cloud veil I already posted above:
“Nearly everyone I know I’ve found to be divided and taking sides, others confused how to hold their energy that don’t want to be on either side and that see beyond both, and those taking stands with others to be a part of things…but what I haven’t seen is consistency with those desires for change carried through in life aside from moments of joining the group or getting triggered, as in fueling the energy in really effective ways or anyone out there providing constructive ideas and channels for people to fuel their rage and passions so it doesn’t turn into Civil War or worse…all very interesting and for myself, I am compelled to keep consistently firm in my position no matter what people think of me or not understanding the steps I’m taking because they don’t look like their idea of taking a stand.”
“I agree, that veil of clouds is highly symbolic. I also this morning kept hearing “The Cloud of Unknowing,” which is the title of a Medieval Christian mystic text. Wikipedia summarizes the main gist this way:
“The underlying message of this work suggests that the way to know God is to abandon consideration of God’s particular activities and attributes, and be courageous enough to surrender one’s mind and ego to the realm of ‘unknowing,’ at which point one may begin to glimpse the nature of God.”
Given all the external focus on division among different religions and again, the provocations to war from BOTH sides, this seems like a wise time to step back, get quiet, clear the field of any and all interference, and reconnect with Spirit. When in doubt, choose peace. At least until you’re sure something is worth fighting for…”
And earlier this morning I received notification that someone liked a comment of mine synchronously “out of the blue” from an old post of Laura’s from 2014 titled Integration Lifetimes and the Splitting of the Worlds – one of my favorites of hers and SO reflective and synchronous with all of this.
Not only does it describe how we all have different paths and focuses in this life, but shares how each way we are called to “rise to action” will also be different. Not to mention the subject matter of separation and integration being so timely for now as well.
I didn’t know until she posted that blog that she’d used one of my own ways of working with the Shadow as one example. And so for those of you who think there is just one way, or may not understand how I am taking my own very deliberate and challenging path with this, here’s what she shared, which includes some perspectives beyond just my own experience that you may find valuable for these times:
“Healing for those on an Integration Lifetime is not so much about removal, as it is about conscious Creation. Sometimes Creation involves a carving away — like sculpting — but that carving away does not become an end in itself. Rather, the carving away exists as a step, perhaps many, many steps, in service to a greater vision, inspiration and spontaneous engagement with the material. Carving reveals Shadows, as greater depth encourages the play of light and dark, but the whole of Creation eventually reveals itself as far more than the sum of its individual cuts. An artist adds something with each taking away, infusing the Creation with life force energy until that Creation can hold its own.
I believe the third option of which Inelia speaks has begun to hint at its arrival, because enough people on Integration Lifetimes have come far enough on their individual journeys to open space for something beyond the Void. Old tugs to the familiar remain, but continued Shadow Work coupled with active, conscious Creation in both the imagination and in tangible ways — will continue to gestate this new option until the birthing time.
Different people engage Shadows in different ways. My dear friend and sweet faery twin, Tania Marie prefers not to work as an activist exposing wrongs or fighting for rights, but she’s got a body full of extremely potent, powerful, deliberate, beautiful and what some people have even called “scary” tattoos. She’s got a dragon, snakes, and jaguars, occult symbols, Moon goddesses, and ancient languages all in black, black, black ink all over her body. That’s a lot of intensity, money and pain, which she wears in indelible ink as an unapologetic reclamation of the power, Shadow projections, and often corrupted goodness attached to all these things. Embodying the Shadow literally on her body allows Tania to live her life with innocence and childlike wonder while still honoring the vastness and power of her being. Her book, Spiritual Skin, helps others to explore a similar path.
Tattoos are widely popular right now, but not for everyone. Some people invoke and integrate their Shadows by embracing whatever taboos have most defined their lives. Others move through various Archetypes and roles. Others attract life threatening illness or injury, which makes them reconcile with their own mortality. Since we all die at some point, this last version of Shadow Work opens itself to everyone — even those not on a full Integration Lifetime. Inelia has noted that “Gaia (Earth/Terra) has actively been pushing for a physical separation that is done through time, three generations, and is trauma free and gentle.” Those on Integration Lifetimes tend to feel deeply connected to Terra and tend to be the ones walking a fine line with awareness of this unsustainable civilization and way of life crumbling to its core (scary Shadow stuff!) and the joy, freedom and excitement of creating and welcoming the new.
As more and more Integration Lifetime folks move through their own process of dis-integration and learning to accept the Void, the human frequency on this planet continues to rise and offer encouragement for entirely new ways of being. We can reclaim the best of the old and the new, while consciously finding ways to integrate the pain, darkness and fear boiling to the surface of collective consensus reality. Energy adepts know that energy is energy, so we can mitigate the need for drastic physical events like pandemics and devastating tsunamis by exploring their energy signatures and finding different ways to rearrange and morph the energy. Kind of like radical feng shui!
Those who’ve already journeyed through the Void might find their skills and experiences increasingly welcomed as we redecorate and remodel reality, as the awakening masses begin to ask, “OK, we see it, but what the heck are we supposed to do with all this stuff????” The splitting of the worlds option gets rid of it, along with a whole lot of the material world. The integration option might involve some decluttering, but it doesn’t necessarily mean gutting. Think “re-purposing” or making art from junk, beauty from the discordant, healing from pain. The collective has not decided on a path yet, but individuals will each make their own choice. Collective consensus reality just means the tipping point of people with relatively aligned choices. If you suspect you’re on an Integration Lifetime and have been hammering the “positive” button, I’d simply encourage you to use this time delay to make sure you won’t be bored with your selection. Red pill, blue pill. Why take any pill? Or maybe you want a purple one. Maybe you want a world beyond pills.
Collectively, we’re in the Void right now, which means we wait. We can drive ourselves crazy with the waiting game, or we can use the extra linear time to explore and begin to create all sorts of worlds before we fully move into the new. You know what they say: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, but today’s a gift. That’s why they call it ‘the present.’”
Timely then and timely now….and that Void she speaks of is right in front of me as I share this, with this huge cloud veil still covering the entire lower Tahoe basin area from where I sit.
Part of my response to Laura’s post, which someone liked today, included this:
“I know this is so true for me, as I have no desire to, or can’t engage in, many of the things that I see others around me getting so much out of in their own lives. I know that it is perfect for them, but it doesn’t feel aligned with or right for me and leaves me hugely unsatisfied and gaining nothing from it. That’s why people are surprised to learn that I don’t engage in certain things they would “think” I should be, based on ideas of what people have about a certain way of being. I’ve carved out a way and things that work for me and I’m not afraid to be different since I know its for the highest good to follow my intuition.
Remember, you are not someone else. So choose accordingly to your vibrational frequency.”
For anyone who thinks that my choice of action is an easy out, cowardly, etc…..I thank you for your opinion and don’t wish upon you to go through what I do and have, but as with anything, until we’ve walked in someone’s footsteps and tried on their “skin” for a while, these remain as one perspective judgment, rather than truth.
I share this post because I receive A LOT of messages all the time from people/clients/friends wanting advice, are confused, feeling helpless, invalidated, doubting themselves, and wondering about how I handle things, how I address people if they ask me questions (which never happens except rarely with family and those closest to me), what I’m doing in my own life to work with the energies, and simply wanting to understand something that, for empaths especially, can be all too distressing and in some cases debilitating to feel in the middle.
You are not alone. You matter. Your choices are valuable and needed. Trust what’s in your heart. Your position and consistent action in your life of embodying it, IS creating change.
With Love and Creative Magick
So much rapid change taking effect in very literal ways for everyone and I’ve found it to be directly tied to greater embodiment of one’s own essence and authenticity, which then emanates clearly through. It’s connected to the messages we’re receiving about stepping up, raising our vibrations, and living out loud with greater courage and integrity to our nature of origins. And when we do, everything shifts in direct reflection to that in our environment, interactions, experiences, realities, and even how we start to look physically in correlation to our energetic frequency glowing from the inside out.
And the more we embrace who we are and aren’t afraid to put it out there, the more others feel greater ease and comfort in doing the same too.
I’ve written before on how my lifestyle and life path changes have changed so much for me as a result of embracing deeper integration of my uniqueness and what feels most authentic to myself, along with making balance and harmony a foremost focus and experience.
And while we speak often about the emotional, mental, and spiritual ways this happens and takes effect, we often overlook the physical because there’s an undercurrent of negativity placed there or invalidation of it because that’s thought to NOT be part of “ascension” ideas and living a spiritual life.
Time and again I’ll reiterate that it’s about integration….physical and spiritual together in harmony and each reflecting the other.
“The very reason each exists is to integrate wholeness and realize the partnership they share, one channeled through the other.
The physical becomes sacred.
The spiritual becomes tangible.
And together they exist simultaneously in harmony.”
(Excerpt from my book, Spiritual Skin)
I’ve always been quite literal in making outer transformations or taking actions that match my shifts internally or the shifts I desire to make, so as to create a space for me to grow into. Such has been the case, for instance, with my sacred tattoos. But it’s also been with things like my hair, my clothing, adornments, and even my body or face morphing.
A lot of this is that I tend to feel “not myself” if the outer doesn’t match the inner or where I’m headed and some of it is as a direct result of needing to express my personality, unique creative self expression, and way in which feels most aligned with the “real” me.
Some simply happens naturally and some with intention to match the natural.
So, as mentioned, with so many shifts lately for me in very dramatic ways, I’ve seen this naturally express itself with how I look and my desires to share how I feel.
Some results that naturally happened are my hair growing long very quickly, my silver grays growing in abundantly, but in a very almost deliberate way (someone recently called them “highlights from the Fae,” which I’ve now adopted and love), my body taking on a naturally balanced, more Earthly fullness rather than my waif self, my skin finding its healthy, clear balance because of my own, and my body becoming fully adorned with sacred and balanced art that feel like adornments reflecting the inside out I couldn’t imagine not being there (some people have shared they can’t imagine me without them and that they’ve never seen tattoos placed in such a way where they are like they’ve manifested themselves in transparency of revealing what’s underneath.)
And of course the way I dress has gone, and continues to go, through constant transformation, which is why I move out clothes often and bring in new that are more reflective and help me feel like “me” just as my tattoos help me to feel more at home in my own skin.
I immediately can feel “off” if my hair or clothing is not matching the vibe of how I’m feeling and what I’m creating in my life currently – literally, making me feel quite energetically icky and out of place.
And over this last year that has taken a huge turn, as mentioned already in my hair taking its natural, ancient and cosmic “roots”, and just this Saturday while visiting and taking my parents out to celebrate my mom’s upcoming 74th birthday tomorrow, I knew I needed to have my hair freshened and purged.
My mom used to be a beautician (what her family did back in France), so she’s done my hair a lot over time and Saturday we chopped off four inches to my very long hair. This felt necessary, as the ends are literally and symbolically the oldest parts and carry the energy of the past…so it felt important to literally shed it, just like my dreams of snake skins recently, and how I regularly enjoy body scrubs to slough off old skin too.
Being that my hair had grown so long, it still remains so, but it was amazing once again to see and feel how that made a difference even without getting a whole new hairstyle – yet. 😉 I not only looked different, but felt completely lightened and new and it even activated the next phase of change upcoming with more hair shifts to match dreams and visions I’ve been having of my origins.
But on top of this, I’ve purged, minimized further, and refreshed my wardrobe as well, and all of this has really become outwardly a reflection of the magickal parts of life and my wanting daily to, in all ways, live fully as all that I love and really am, and will keep me clearly focused on the path ahead in the most embodied and aligned way.
This has seemed to morph me literally into my Faery Bunny self, with hints of cosmic, ancient, and water nymph/mer qualities.
So while people may have felt this about me, it really isn’t something one would have to “feel into” anymore, as it’s becoming quite literal.
I feel and see this to be happening more and more with many people, as things shift and we’re lighting up those latent parts of our DNA, stepping up and out, and integrating more of our Cosmic and Earthly selves, we are seeing this in how we find ourselves walking in our human bodies as more of the otherworldy beings we have retrieved and remembered, through physical form here.
Exciting times and feels so much more natural.
So while most people know I’m a rabbit lover or perhaps a crazy rabbit lady 😉 some may not know how far that extends, but truly my life is immersed in Faery bunny energy through and through.
These are just some photos of the magickal bunny wardrobe I have and wear below. Photos include: 3 sparkly vegan rabbit shoes (I normally only wear flats, but bunnies have me reaching to new heights again these days when I feel so called), matching vegan rabbit purse, a one-of-a-kind amethyst carved rabbit ring, a purple satin skater dress with dancing bunnies, an aqua poodle skirt with bunny border, and my Peter Rabbit collection of vintage 60’s dress, wedge heels, vintage Beatrix Potter original sweater, and my Peter Rabbit statue from Laura.
Laura has even said I’ve literally turned into a Faery bunny, like this photo that briefly captured this in me seeping through in one of my shape shifting moments a couple of years ago and now seems to be the pervading emanation these days, although has integrated with the other elements I shared above, too. I’m curious to see how this will evolve and morph in the days and months ahead.
But what you don’t see pictured here is that my wardrobe and sacred space also include a vintage rabbit cardigan, 4 rabbit t-shirts, 3 rabbit tank tops, 3 rabbit leggings, 1 rabbit sweatshirt, several rabbit pendants and rings, 1 rabbit scarf, rabbit flannel jammies, rabbit artwork, a stuffed rabbit I sleep with (the surrogate bunny to my little ones that they enchanted), a rabbit support pillow, crystal rabbits, and other rabbit pieces for my sacred space.
And the rest of my wardrobe contains various other elements of “me” and anything that doesn’t I either have, or will continue to weed out.
I’ve fully cracked open the Cosmic egg and all the “me” is oozing out for sure without worrying what others may think. Just simply about living a life of passionate purpose by looking within and seeing what truly moves me and melting into that love.
One sweet friend of mine shared, “I love your daring use of fantasy fairy elements proving that fashion is for fun and personal pleasure and in this case also the delight of others.”
It reiterated to me, that when we embrace what truly brings us the greatest joy, express that in any and all forms, and understand how we can utilize all aspects of life and the material in creative, healthy, and valuable ways, we also bring that same energy to others to experience through our expressions and to mirror the relative possibilities within each other to do more of what supports this too in life.
So while I could just feel and emanate my essence energetically, I’ve been guided to literally take this through to all levels of experience, to include the physical as an expression of consistency and action in a holistic way and through every avenue of my existence here.
Having peeled back the layers I find clarity in my divine desires and that all things I’m about are truly encapsulated in the focus of what inspires me most. Channeling this into soul fulfillment, dream manifestation, and the reality of my choosing is the gift of letting this desire move through me and that includes moving through me in any and all ways – sharing and expressing my deepest divine desires and beingness.
One of my oracle tarot cards I recently pulled, shared this beautifully,
“Desire sometimes gets a ‘bad rap’ in spiritual circles, or it is celebrated as being something that should be pursued without restraint. The truth that will serve most spiritual aspirants best is somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Desire need not be a distraction from your spiritual journey nor a goal to be pursued at any cost, even to your own integrity. Desire on the spiritual path can become a way to know what is going to move and inspire you enough to see you through the challenges that arise when you want to create a contribution to the world. If you long to bring your ideas to life, rather than keep them only as ideas, then desire can become enlivening fuel for the spiritual path, motivating you to act rather than hesitate. Searching for your true soul desires helps you find what it is you can believe in more than fear or doubt.”
I believe that living our authenticity in any and all ways that feels truest to ourselves and expresses our passions is effective use of creative power and supportive of personal empowerment and frequency, joyous living, and inspirational motivation that aligns and supports us with our intents, while igniting similar fires within others.
Plus, it simply brings a little sparkle of joy to the day, some giggles, and smiles…and if nothing else, that’s worth a lot!
With today’s New Moon in Capricorn – the last of the year before we welcome in 2017 – I wanted to pause a moment to share how so much has shifted this year for me in terms of the structures and “routines” of my life, which Capricorn energy focuses much upon. While the energies abound also place focus on a time of review, rest, and nurturing of your own inner needs, Capricorn will assist with how to harness these in a responsibly resonant way that reflects who you are and the path of intents you are activating in your life.
This will involve honestly looking at the intricate details of how you’ve been living your life, how you go about your daily processes, your approach to life, and the amount of energy and time you extend to all things including, but most importantly – you.
Who are you?
Are you embodying the “you” you were born to be and share with the collective?
Do you relish in being yourself?
What are you doing to empower yourself and the gifts you were born to cultivate?
Are you ready to unleash your natural talents and release the limiting inhibitions, old patterns, and fears of increasing the magnitude of energy you came here to shine?
Are you willing to reclaim your origins of purity that naturally align you in harmony?
It’s time to hit the reset button, if you haven’t already, to revitalize your experience of life, restore your faith and trust in why you are here and how who you are can make a difference, and it’s an opportune time to do all things self-nurturing and supportive of regeneration and recreation of your life lived most authentically.
All this to mirror Nature with your own innate ability to renew through the cycles of life.
I know this year of 2016 was a challenging one for many and while I didn’t experience it in that way, I did learn what was important and vital to my own “nature” and have been implementing that more than ever.
Although I did see my two bunny loves transition and went through my own literal and profound death experience (allowing purification and a new “more me” to be reborn and step into my body while the old me was released) this year (the things that contributed to the collective #9 year of closure), I was able to maintain my vibration through it all and that came with my commitment to nurturing myself, flowing with the energies and inevitable transmutation that was necessary, listening to my needs, reclaiming parts of me, spending tons of time in Nature, balancing and softening my life, and returning to who I really am.
So, my experience of 2016 was cathartic and deeply nourishing and revitalizing, whereas I could have experienced it in a traumatic way.
And a lot of this, as mentioned, has been in realizing, embracing, and putting into motion the need for self nurturing and retrieving back my power in a personally empowering way that ultimately allows me to be more of a responsible contributor to the collective.
I’ve never nurtured myself and honored my energy as much as I have this year and this has continued to increase.
I saw so many things I desired personally and wanted to heal within myself, truly anchor.
I saw the anxiety and fixations on things disintegrate completely.
And life has become soft, flowing, responsive, and increasingly harmonized. It’s truly something I awe at when I really look at the changes that have taken place over the course of my life and how I feel now versus before. It gets me emotional to realize the difference I feel in comparison to the life I was once living.
And I have seen that when I honor these things within myself that the Universe/All That Is has been conspiring to support it all even more.
This especially so with the self nurturing, as my life has become surrounded with tangible and non-tangible forms of everything nourishing to my mind, body, heart, and soul.
I’ve shifted the way I approach everything I do and have shifted the anxious over-achiever-me into the peacefully flowing, confident, and anchored co-creator.
Even the place we live in currently is such a dream and has everything I could want to support this new cycle in my life to ensure well being and cultivation of what I’m birthing.
From a dream view in a sacred place that I love, which I face daily, a jacuzzi with light therapy and sauna to provide relaxation and purification, a biomat to nourish deeply, and Christmas gifts from my family and ourselves of a shiatsu foot massage with heat I use on my Pisces feet daily, a flameless candle fountain with flowing water energy, LED wax candles that can remotely be programmed for color therapy, daily nature immersions, creative time spent making delicious, healthy, and comforting foods, surrounding myself with reflections of my heart, having the ability to focus on my passions and doing what I love, blessed with incredible friends, family, and spirit guidance….I’m feeling like I live in a dream and day spa round the clock and almost have to pinch myself that this is the experience I manifested through a life of dedication, despite discouraging years of challenge.
To say I’m grateful is a HUGE understatement.
And that goes along with truly being grateful to myself for hanging in there, continuing to forge ahead, and never giving up.
I tormented for so many years in my teens, early twenties, and thirties with why life had been so hard and wondering if ever I would experience what I envisioned possible in feeling.
And it wasn’t until I started integrating all aspects of my life and bringing physical and spiritual together in a sensual merging and honoring of the gift, beauty, and meaning of both being of stardust and living as a human, that life has emerged as such.
Now I’m truly seeing that the hope I held onto was not in vain.
And this is only the beginning…for me, for you, for us all.
I know this year was very hard for everyone and still may feel challenged, but I’ve also seen and heard of so many seeing the cycles of change through and coming out the other side with renewed zest for life and new beginnings emerging from seeing their dreams begin to manifest, realizing what they’ve accomplished, getting clarity on their path and direction in life, new more aligned dream jobs manifesting, engagements, marriages, pregnancies, births, moves to heart home places, dream travels actualized, new life adventures begun (several people jumped in rv’s this year too)….and more.
The end of one era and walking through the door of a new one.
And through it all it’s key to take care of you, as that will ensure all that you desire to do “out there”.
I realize the importance of taking care of me and it’s provided me so much more to give out to others without ever feeling depleted anymore and I’ve learned the most supportive way to be on path for me that will continue to honor myself and others simultaneously.
And this will include continuous self nurturing, reviewing my life to make any necessary adjustments that optimize things, continuing to strengthen my boundaries, creating intents and goals that keep me on point and utilizing more and more productive use of what I have available.
Capricorn energy is a guiding force in my life with it as my ascendant, North Node, and having Mars propelling it in my first house, and it wasn’t until recently that I’ve understood how to harness this energy.
I can only imagine what might be with continued cultivation and paying attention to the responsive integration of its energy in my life.
This New Moon highlights Capricorn essence for us all…and while this may be a cycle currently we’re moving through that can propel you when you harness what it is showing you in your life, I believe that working with all of the signs and energies in their most productive forms, throughout the year, will support us into living as the wholeness we are.
Last night’s Full Supermoon in Gemini felt super potent…potent enough it woke me several times and I experienced Root Chakra integrative activations that kept me up for a bit with that shifting occurring at my tailbone. I worked with my black Tourmaline – an excellent partner for this and one of the power stones to support this Chakra – which did its magick. And although I was awake in intervals last night, I still woke up earlier than usual at 5:30 am feeling fully rested and amped up to go.
I watched the Moon for a bit during the night, as the whole room was illuminated by Her light since we have windows all around that we keep open since we are so high up.
She appeared both clear in the sky and then surrounded by clouds making Her appear like a blossoming eye peering through the veils.
Since I was up I decided to step out for a moment in the very chilly night air and at one time my camera capturing the Moon appearing to layer Herself with a smaller Moon in the background and larger in the foreground shooting off beams as if She was flying toward me on wings of light. Gemini twin energy in action?
As mentioned, I was wide awake very early at 5:30 am, feeling totally energized and the Moon remained present until 7:30 am just out front of our deck.
I find it interesting synchronicity that I’d been focused on the Moon energy and originations the last two days with my writing, which spread itself out in intervals all on its own and that portion completing on the day of the Full Moon.
I don’t plan these things, but sure do enjoy observing and then connecting the dots of how divine guidance plays out when we flow with what inspiration moves through us.
Needless to say, it felt like a lot of things shifted last night and I’m wondering if others felt it too?
The title of this post I believe speaks for itself, not to mention I feel these are essential for optimal functioning and well-being, but let’s look briefly at these themes in relation to the scope of the environment within our energetic and literal fields of experience.
We have an overload of stimulation coming at us from every angle and this increases with the rise of technology, which has seen more accelerated change in the last century than any previous time period.
And to add to that, we have collective patterns, dynamics, emotional baggage and turmoil, and conditioning deep within our DNA all swirling around in heightened levels of surfacing awareness or manifested triggers.
To top things off, we’re experiencing a spiritual evolution that brings rise to it all in the midst of the every day hurdles, life basics, and dream weaving we all manage and work at bringing forth.
Phew! That’s a lot!
And if you have your own personal manifestations of challenges on any or all levels – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – that you struggle to work through, it’s overwhelming to say the least.
It’s no wonder anxiety, stress, depression, and violence are at all-time highs.
We are thrown every kind of pill, therapy, and more mind chatter and visual eye-candy to cope, suppress, deal with, and overload us with.
But there is little to no teaching of how to redefine our relationship to it all, how to strengthen our abilities to overcome things, and how to harness the capabilities we have, but hardly use or ever tap into.
This post isn’t to address how to correct all of these challenges we experience, as there are many ways, modalities, and supportive channels out there that can help you do that, plus would constitute a VERY long blog. I will, however, share a previous blog post below that touches on boundaries some more for those interested.
What I want to just generally focus on is how important I’ve been seeing the themes of learning how to strengthen our abilities to filter out things, see/feel/experience from more expansive compassionate perspectives, strengthen our boundaries, and exercise personal discernment – just as is the title of this post – truly are.
It can help you to navigate the craziness and this wild world of multi-everything we live in.
While removing ourselves from things can help us to do the inner work and rebalance, and recharge, not to mention help you remain in your own field of reality creating and vibrational resonance, there will come a time when you’ll need to re-enter the world and so having ways to maneuver and process what you experience becomes key.
Besides, we are here to integrate physical and spiritual and bring our gifts into active manifestation. So learning ways to support this process, rather than run to one side or the other, might just be important in that evolution.
As the real proof of the work we’ve done in our private life will show when we do actually get confronted with the external world.
Does that peace translate no matter where you are?
Or does the chaos take over and easily skew you out of balance once again and run your show rather than you being the master of your experiences?
Having tools you can pull from to regain that balance will definitely assist, but also really cultivating your process and trying it out in the world and within your relationships to everyone and everything around you, will help you to become masterful at working alchemy instantly, or at least rather quickly.
It takes time, but step-by-step the process becomes much easier, fluid, rapid, and natural.
And this includes training yourself to embrace ways of experiencing things differently than you’ve been accustomed and conditioned to.
And when you do, you’ll learn that there are gifts within all of the experiences around us that new eyes, stronger sense of self, energetic boundaries, and discernment can assist with.
You begin to naturally gravitate to things that match your stronger and clearer vibration, you filter things naturally and easily without charge, you see the things that are different or used to trigger you as having their own purpose but not bothering you or creating judgments and drains on your energy, you feel more peaceful about things being in divine order that don’t need your ego to define them, you create a strong force field cultivated by your greater creative presence and personal power, and your personal discernment navigates you through and on a much clearer course with lots of hidden gifts along the way to integrate rather than eradicate.
I wrote a couple of comments in reply to a friend on my earlier blog on Bilateral Engaging for Brain Expansion which shared a bit about one way I’ve been cultivating boundaries and more parts of my brain to engage fully, which included these:
“Yes, music/sound is very beneficial to the creative, healing, balancing processes…I can get overstimulated too, and am very sensitive, but I’ve learned to utilize these sensitivities to harness my gifts, rather than take away from them. Kind of like finding your peace within chaos, which comes from within. This process may not be the same for everyone. and there are times I prefer complete silence…I guess my main point of the blog was to say that it’s been like a retraining to experience these otherwise perhaps distracting things to utilize all of me and to actually strengthen parts/gifts, use more of the huge percentage of the brain we don’t, exercise boundaries, which are crucial, support each part’s strengths, and more tangibly access that middle way/void area where the alchemy and magick can take place.”
“I struggled hugely with boundaries all my life, and being a Pisces…that’s a huge challenge as we have absolutely none. It wasn’t until the last 2 or 3 years that I’ve really understood how to manage this and continue to cultivate it in stronger ways…It’s an ever-evolving journey, but has made all the difference. I think many healers/empaths/sensitives struggle with boundaries and it’s become a huge theme at the forefront of our journeys into the next phase of our lives.”
And here’s another blog post I shared on boundaries, if you’re particularly in need or interested in that theme that is clearly surfacing collectively: