Blog Archives

White Jaguar and a Dream


white jaguarWhat a difference a night can make. Two nights ago, on the 17th of September I had another of my fascinating active “dream” experiences.

Leading up to this in the days prior, I had been feeling a bit out of sorts, which happens when change is upon me and a lot of things come at me at once. It’s that void space where things are processing – old and new, you sift through these voices in order to weigh and balance with discernment, explore new feelings that challenge the old, travel the realms of possibilities, and even experience the temporary confusion, dissolution, and throwing up of your hands in surrender.

It made perfect sense to me, as I know myself and my cycles, hence I do not get anxious or worry when things get turned upside down. I’m also aware that I’ve been following the nudge to pull back more, detach, and to be deeply within my experience for greater amplification of my essence energy. Plus, there’d been the acknowledgment of Gaia’s transition and feeling a bit like a fish out of water since I tend to live in the new before it happens. So when I look at the current reality it can be temporarily disheartening, wishing the physical to catch up with the non-physical. Not to mention, I just “know” this very large transformation is happening and feeling it in every ounce of my being – changes that include the transmutation process into a new vibrational experience.

How it all is to look, I’m not fully sure, nor is it necessary that I know. Just taking the steps that I am able to, each day, toward it.

Are they simply foreshadowing these times of change and all that is evolving into a new experience “here”?

Or am I receiving a personal message of timeliness and the presence as “this me” in “this life” is riding the sands of the hour glass…sifting almost fully through to the other side before a complete transition and paradigm/dimensional shift takes place into “there”?

All that is clear is change. And right now, that’s all I’m privy to with clarity, and all I need to do is to make sure I’m living fully as the vibration of my essence in every moment.

I’m grateful to understand my processes, as well as for the assistance I receive from beyond Earth to align with, and anchor, the change. And in the meantime, it’s about embracing and loving the colorful process, while keeping on top of remaining balanced for well being.

That brings me back to the interesting “waking” dream of two nights ago. When a significant dream shows up, I feel drawn to acknowledge and document it, as layers continue to reveal themselves in that process. I’m still deciphering and interpreting this one, as there can be many meanings to it. However, where the journey of exploring some of the symbolism took me, was very interesting. And while they may not be “the” meaning, they definitely are shedding some insight I was meant to see in the process.

Whether this actually happened (I believe so), or was simply a symbolic journey, I have had many dreams where really positive work is taking place that helps to shift my vibration, physically remove obstructions in my ethereal/physical body, assist in new upgrades, downloads, and spiritual surgery. Then waking up remembering, physically feeling the shift, or sometimes waking in the process of a physical purge to remove the old. All of which has always been hugely beneficial and of course only happens because I choose so.

Wednesday night’s dream was one of these.

It still lingers quite clearly for me, so I know I am to remember. I recall I was to have a procedure done (which was multi-layered in effect) and was being escorted in some sort of a facility where something was going to take place with my brain and crown chakra, connected with higher self. It was a small place..seems like I remember darkness in the doorways behind, but the rooms were lit..smallish, square rooms. I was taken into one for some kind of scanning of my brain and what I recognized to be not only similar to receiving a CAT scan, but then some sort of surgery thereafter.

I do not remember the procedure itself, but remember after it, my head was bald and I had this sense of “rewiring” haven taken place and feeling refreshed. I don’t remember leaving the facility, but do then remember being escorted to another place to recuperate and rest/integrate after it. There were several around me, leading me to this larger towering structure that felt otherworldly, although reminded me of the Burj Al Arab Jumeirah luxury hotel in Dubai. I was taken to the highest and, what I heard them say, was the best room in the entire facility. This is where I was to rest and renew from the procedure and felt I might be there a while.

This place was vast, expansive, and very light and pure in energy. It was to be my home for a while and did feel very much like that. A place of transition and renewal. How long I was to be there, I’m not sure, as I never saw the end of it, but I remember feeling like a child in terms of explorative, high energy, although with all my accumulated soul knowledge. Of course I was feeling fine and wanted to be up and about, but was told I was to rest and stay off my feet. Interestingly, my mom was in the dream, but felt more like her presence, energy, rather than the her now. And she was there to see that I’d get my rest as prescribed in order for the changes to take root. I had a lot of pure, vibrant, active energy, but I was needing to just relax and so she told me so and took me to the large bed of white sheets by the expansive windows, and tucked me in (much like she had when I was growing up).

This room had wall to wall windows with an amazing view of water all around, although didn’t feel like an ocean necessarily, but more like rivers and lakes. There seemed to be different passageways in the water that went off in different directions from the main source. The way this building was positioned, was like at the center of it all…the nucleus. There was a sense of motion, although not sure that things were actually moving.

After my mom tucked me in and went off to do things, I remember a smallish white cat appearing and jumping on the bed to lay with me. Her body directly against mine and with half of her body across mine. When I say smallish, I don’t mean like a normal small cat…I mean smallish in comparison to a large adult jaguar, which I then realized this cat was. She was white with black spots and I knew it was a wild cat. Much larger than a domestic cat, but smaller than a full grown wild cat. I’d say she was likely about three feet long.

At first I thought her an odd cat, when I’d only briefly watched her appear and then make her way to me. But I soon realized she was no ordinary cat, and in fact was a small white jaguar. It had kind of a thinner sleek coat, but then later I remember these very plush paws on me and some areas that reminded me of the snow leopards and their thicker coats. But I believe it was evidence of it being a younger jaguar and still having more of that plushy baby’s coat.

The dream ends, well at least from where my memory leaves me of details, at me laying in bed recuperating with my white jaguar companion nuzzled into me. She was very loving and playful and was going to be watching over me.

I started this share off with “what a difference a night can make,” which I’ll now expound on.

I mentioned how I’d been in an off place and feeling out of sorts, as well as some disillusionment and sadness, but when I woke up the next morning (yesterday) I was feeling like something had lifted and felt new invigoration and renewed peace/optimism. It carried forth throughout the day, and continues today, and I acknowledged it directly was related to this dream. On top of that, the weather shifted the same day I felt this refreshing switch flip on, going from the daily, so-very-hot 90’s (hard to work at home without an a/c) to cooling down to high 70’s and low to mid 80’s between then and now.

So this was an interesting reflection of the internal and external mirroring and balancing out.

But of course I’ve been exploring the personal meaning for me of this dream and saw the reflections of things I’ve been feeling and even mentioned above, including foreshadowing big change, transmutation, turning within, and even a physical transition, as I felt like me, but not the me now – an expanded, reinvigorated version.

Everyone will have their own interpretations, but remember that the meaning of most importance is what resonates for you.

I’m not going to go into all of what I’ve received personally here, but I will explore one aspect of the dream, which is the white jaguar and the interesting places it took me.

I’m very connected to animals, as you may already know, but I’m also very connected to jaguar energy. Afterall, I wear two as my own sacred tattoos (one each on my left and right ankles – a male and a female) – representing the ways I walk through life. Coincidentally, when I hike, I feel very much like a jaguar especially on downhills and have noted this often.

I found it interesting that in the last few months I’ve had significant dreams with one very connected animal showing up, and they turn out to be Nestor’s essence. I’m guessing this jaguar was too.

But a white jaguar!? This is very new to me, as mostly the ones I’ve associated with are black. So I really wasn’t sure of the meaning, other than knowing what white can usually symbolize, such as purity, cleansing, innocence, clarity, new beginnings, wholeness, truth, enlightenment, awakening, and protection.

However, the journey of exploring this revealed an interesting web of a story for me, along with interesting thoughts on the symbolism. Some of which I knew, and much I did not. I’ll only concentrate on the symbolism that stood out and spoke to me in relation to the personal meanings from my dream, rather than expound on all of the jaguar symbolism, which you can Google for yourself.

White cats represent heightened spiritual awareness and “cats”, in general, represent feminine power, esoteric knowledge, and spiritual guardianship. White cats also symbolize tender love that you feel for a person and dreaming of them can signify good luck in creativity and spiritual matters.

Of course jaguars are sacred to the Mayans, Aztecs, and Incas and I have strong ancient ties to Mayan and Incan times. Supposedly, jaguar women were known to be at the “top of the pyramid of power” and the jaguar symbolizes getting “to the heart” of things – Mayan art depicts jaguars as holding the human heart.

Interestingly, white, more than black, is often traditionally associated with death in many cultures around the world, as well as mourning. These are cultures where death means the end of one life and the beginning of another. So this moving forward to a new experience of life could be symbolic of completion of a cycle in life, or referencing an actual transition into the eternal soul life beyond this particular life.

Interesting that a lot of “white” clothing has been drawing me to wear it recently. Actually, lol, I’m wearing a white tank top and white shorts right now. ūüôā

But these changes can be about new travels ahead, a physical move to a new home or area, change in career direction, and new relationships.

White is also considered sacred to certain gods and is associated with the male/yang energy. Black is the female/yin energy – this I knew.

White was the symbol of the soul, especially in Egypt. It was also the color of the great serpent. To Norse the white worm was the one chewing the tree of life, Fafnir.

Jaguar medicine carries clarity of vision and the ability to “see” the roads within chaos and understand the patterns of chaos. It has the ability to face fears and to move without fear in the darkness. Because of its very keen vision, they can move into unknown places and see beyond what the physical eyes perceive, which speaks to psychic vision. This is where their association with getting to the heart of things comes from, as their ability to see during the night imparts their ability to look into the depths and shadows of the human heart. And with the binocular vision that cats have to have each eye work itself independently, this offers depth of perception and to see with balanced perception.

They also carry shape shifting energy, herald deep soul work, and personal empowerment as you reclaim your power. Jaguars share with you the foreknowledge of things to come.

In Mayan mythology, the jaguar was the ruler of the Underworld, night sun, and darkness. The Mayans built temples to the jaguar god, as it was second in the pantheon only to the serpent god. There is a Temple of the Jaguar at Chichen Itza, which I only make note of because last night’s dream took me to Cancun, Mexico where Chichen Itza is, as well as specifically named Playa del Carmen (love when I get specifics in dreams), which is directly across from Cozumel and where I’ve taken buses from to get to Tulum. So the Mayan energy ties of this area were prevalent in dream time. (this will make sense as I continue)

This seemed also to be a continuation dream to the jaguar symbolism and where it led me in my explorations today, AFTER both dreams. Also interesting to note is that the temples in Cancun I’ve visited three times in this life, which is one of the most repeat travel areas I’ve journeyed to in this life.

To Mayans, the jaguar’s spotted skin represents the stars shining in the night sky, perhaps speaking to the illumination they provide when you embrace the integrative journey into the darkness. ¬†The Mayans saw jaguar as the earth father, calling him “Jaguar Sun” – the hidden sun – that reigned over the animals and all that is sacred on earth.

The Mayan word for Jaguar is “Ix”, pronounced ‘eesh’. And here took another personal twist.

You can calculate your Mayan sacred glyph (astrological sign) in terms of “count” (for example “Tzolkin”). In terms of the Tzolkin calendar I’m “Caban” or “Red Earth”. But, in terms of the “Dreamspell” calendar that Jose Arguelles created in 1987 through a reinterpretation of the Mayan cycles in a modern context to get an energetic map or “Galactic signature”, I am “Ix” or the “White Cosmic Wizard”. I have connected with the meaning and energetic signature of both, hence I wear both sacred glyphs on my skin as sacred tattoos, but I have always felt an inner resonance with “Ix” placing the glyph on my throat chakra, as the empowered way I uniquely and creatively expressive myself.

Herein lies the connection, as the sign “Ix” is represented by the jaguar, as shared above.

Without going into all of the symbolism of “Ix”, this particular connection seemed key and of course represents the same things above about prophecy, clairvoyance and the ability to see in the dark like jaguars. Is it no wonder, I shared that physical vision is the sense I would be willing to give up if I had to choose, as I feel I truly “see” without my eyes.

Anyway, to take this Mayan thread a bit further, I also wear the Mayan Moon Goddess, “Ix Chel”, at my heart chakra as a tattoo (she’s often depicted holding a rabbit, which my image does – some saying this may depict a YOUTHFUL¬†Ix Chel) Long story on that connection, but when looking at white jaguar symbolism I came across this interesting information that tied this in as well.

She’s also a jaguar goddess by her name and is often depicted with jaguar claws instead of hands, and sometimes a jaguar pelt – it is said that this is the AGED version of Ix Chel. Hmmmm…

It’s assumed that if the name was of Yucatan origin, then “chel” could mean “rainbow.” Sometimes she’s called “Lady Rainbow” or “White Goddess”.

In the stories told of Ix Chel, it is said she bore the Sun God four “jaguar” sons/gods that moved through the night unseen. The story also shares that she spent many nights on her sacred island of Cozumel supporting and protecting women through their pregnancies and childbirth – a bridge for birth and rebirth. In the early 16th century, Maya women would travel to the sanctuary of Ix Chel on the island of Cozumel, which was considered the most important place of pilgrimage after Chichen Itza, seeking blessings of a fruitful marriage. The smaller island, Isla Mujeres, that is north of Cozumel (Island of Women), was devoted to the worship of Ix Chel.

What does it all mean? I’m piecing that together still, but it definitely is fascinating to connect dots and explore the rich depths that come through what may seem like nothing but a wild dream.

And for me, I in fact know this dream also DID take place on another dimensional plane, as the sensations and feelings are carried vividly and felt strongly in the present.

Again, feeling like a full circle spiral taking place in my life, as it is my Mayan remembrances that flooded in for me many, many years ago, which was a catalyst for one of the huge leaps in my spiritual journey and started to unravel the web. And having it come through this little “dreamspell” – pun intended ūüėČ – was quite interesting.

Now I get to connect the dots and follow where ever the journey takes me, in what ever form that is to be in, having that peaceful knowingness from my dream of being protected, assisted, and watched over for the transitions to come.

Oh, what a beautiful web we weave, when first we practice to perceive. ūüėČ

Celebrating Nestor With A Little February Symbolism And Mayan Moon Goddess Magic


Nestor - aka Nestie

As we step into the lovely month of February, filled with rich symbolism and the energy of purification, I am reminded of my beloved Nestor who would have been celebrating her birthday today. The symbols associated with this transitional month are very mirroring of the essence of our connection and of her soul – that of mysticism, magic, vision, rebirth, creation, inspiration, earth connectedness, ancient sacredness, renewal, love, devotion, faeries, healing and honor to name a few. I love this link from Avia Venefica’s awesome site I always refer to ~ Whats-Your-Sign.com: The Doorway to Signs and Symbolic Meanings ~ that shares great insights into the meaning and symbolism of February:¬†http://www.whats-your-sign.com/february-meaning-and-symbolism.html.

It’s interesting that the Feast of Feralia, which was an ancient Roman observance, falls within this month on the 21st. Feralia is a “public” festival to honor loved ones and ancestors who have left the physical realm. “There is legend that states Romans eventually neglected the public feast of Feralia, and ultimately, the result was Rome’s decline. Perhaps the symbolic lesson here is to remember the spirits of kin and clan and honor them, otherwise succumb to a life of ambiguity and decrepitude.”

I don’t need the knowledge of this feast to remind me of my twin soul, as she is eternally with me and never far from heart and thought. But I do love symbolism, as many people know about me. And I love that we both share this month for our Birthdays – hers on the 1st and mine on the 26th and am excited that my art opening event falls on the 25th of this month as well, which Nestor will be part of in heart and spirit.

But, on this beautiful day of remembrance, honor, love and celebration, I share some words about Nestor and our connection (that only touch on the magnitude of each) from something I had written a few years ago:

My dear Nestie's ashes and my special Nestie hematite rabbit (both of which have traveled the world with me as I do special ceremonies to help the earth collective, and my special crystal that is linked to her energy, along with her image in my heart

I am continually inspired and bathed in love by my beloved, precious being, Nestor, who has recently transitioned on April 27, 2008. She is the light of my life, even though she no longer shares this physical experience with me. I miss her greatly and yet I know she is with me in more expansive ways than ever before and continues to shower me with her magic and love from beyond.

When you share a love that deep, there is no limitation as to what you can create. She continues to be a joy and an inspiration to me always and I honor her in every way. Through her, I have learned the meaning of unconditional love and this unwavering love for her grows stronger and more powerful every day. I never viewed Nestor as anything but an equal. She is sacred in every definition of the word and is now free to fly with the grace and power that is unimaginably huge and expansive. She constantly reminds me to stay in my heart and to remember the bigger picture of the path that I chose.

As a rabbit, Nestor embodied the collective soul of Earth’s sacred children. As a soul and magical being, she embodies pure unconditional love and compassion that¬†I continue to strive to mirror. I honor her and cherish, with gratitude, all that she has to teach me, and others, by the simple beauty of her example.

Throughout her physical experience, Nestor was a bridge for her species and an example to us all. As a Reiki Master Teacher and a profound healer, she assisted many animals and humans across the globe and continues to be of assistance in even bigger ways, without the limitations her body had on her hugely expansive and enigmatic soul.

Thank you my beautiful, courageous Nestor. May your light shine for all to see.  I celebrate you now and always. I LOVE YOU.

Close up of the tattoo over my heart chakra

Some insights on the Mayan Moon Goddess and my connection with her and Nestor:

Interestingly, I had been drawn to the Mayan Moon Goddess Ix Chel years ago not fully connecting the dots then and ended up getting a tattoo to represent her and my connection with Nestor, over my heart chakra on my back when I did come to realize why I had been so drawn to her. This was one of my first tattoos and interestingly the face on the goddess ended up looking like mine, which was not a conscious intention, but what ended up channeling from the tattoo artist who created it and the bunny, much like Nestor too. It’s one of my favorite tattoos. We have a strong connection with the Moon and Mayan symbolism and so it is always so cool when you connect the dots as to why. Here is the story about Ix Chel that holds symbolic meaning for us.

Ix chel and Rabbit

Ix Chel: The Mayan Moon Goddess or¬†“Lady of the Rainbow.” The Mayans,¬†like Buddhists, associated the moon with rabbits. Ix Chel is a shape-shifter, consorting with the rabbit in¬†spring, as the rabbit is considered the scribe of the moon calendar. She is often depicted holding a rabbit in her arms, a symbol of her life giving abundance and fertility, whose profile¬†can be seen on the face of the moon. She is the Mayan Goddess of creativity (as inspiration for artists), magic,¬†weaving, health, healing, sexuality, childbirth, and the energy of all water-our most essential life giving ingredient. The Mayan stepped pyramid is Ix Chel’s¬†mountain where she reigns as the feathered serpent energy of transformation.

Full Moon & the Mayan Moon Goddess – Opening Your Heart Even Wider


On this magickal Sagitarrius Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, I wanted to honor the energies abound. So much is available for the embracing. Don’t forget to review your life – discard, release, and then with abundant love and creative inspiration, dream the new into being. A time for wondrous reflection and illumination. If you thought your heart was open enough, it’s time to open it even more! They say we don’t utilize the full capacity of our brains, but the same holds true for our hearts. Let us not forget this healing jewel we each have access to. At any moment we can choose greater, more compassionate, present, limitless love. And this full moon with its abundant Sagitarrian energy, supports this beautifully.

This eclipse is an opportunity¬†to examine your belief systems¬†(Sagittarius) and keep an open mind to new ideas (Gemini – the sign we’re in this month) that will help you to create new structures (Saturn) for the change and transformation that is to come¬† (Uranus/Pluto).¬† Yet your heart must remain open, because the work of the soul (Chiron/Neptune) is not yet complete. So enter into the journey of this eclipse free from fear and with a spirit¬† of adventure and curiosity and you will be on your way.

I am reminded of the Mayan Moon Goddess, Ix Chel, (synchronously that I have tattooed over my heart chakra on my back due to my Mayan, moon and rabbit connection, amongst other things, and in honor of the partnership with my dear departed bunny, Nestor) as I bask in this abundant, opportunistic energy and all that she embodies. Having Moon in Sagitarrius and being born on a full moon definitely makes today feel extra special for me personally, but collectively it is such a potent time of anchoring in what you desire.

Today, as I focus on a synergy of personal and collective healing and envisioning, creative painting, designing and Reiki, along with some other intentful manifesting, I feel my heart set aglow with her loveliness. Remember to dream bigger than ever before with intent for the highest good.

For those of you not familiar with Ix Chel, here is a description for you.

Ix Chel: The Mayan Moon Goddess or¬†“Lady of the Rainbow.” The Mayans,¬†like Buddhists, associated the moon with rabbits. Ix Chel is a shape-shifter, consorting with the rabbit in
spring, as the rabbit is considered the scribe of the moon calendar. She is often depicted holding a rabbit in her arms, a symbol of her life giving abundance and fertility, whose profile can be seen on the face of the moon. She is the Mayan Goddess of creativity (as inspiration for artists), magic, weaving, health, healing, sexuality, childbirth, and the
energy of all water-our most essential life giving ingredient. The Mayan stepped pyramid is Ix Chel’s mountain where she reigns as the feathered serpent energy of transformation.

Ix Chel Statue Depiction

%d bloggers like this: