I’m so excited this Tedx talk is now available on YouTube from Dewitt Jones. You may recall that we got to see this talk in person here in South Lake Tahoe at the Lake Tahoe Community College – a sold out event of 250 people. Dewitt was my favorite speaker of the evening, moving me to tears as a man of my own heart. He was the only speaker who got a standing ovation for the evening, which speaks to how he must have hit a chord in others’ hearts as well. Perhaps you’ll find yourself moved into a different way of seeing life too. I hope so!
Photographer, director and Zephyr Cove resident (a Tahoe neighbor!), Dewitt Jones, has photographed stories around the world for 20 years with National Geographic, published nine books, and directed two Academy Award-nominated documentaries.
In his talk, you can watch and listen to below, he so beautifully expresses the perspective of my own life and I felt the deep love in that reflection and mirroring, once again experiencing that full circle and collective connection.
Dewitt’s talk explores a mindset that he learned while working for National Geographic, and being out in nature, of celebrating what’s right with the world and not just focusing on what’s wrong with life, although not denying or ignoring any aspect of it, but rather seeing from a different perspective and the wholeness inherent in it all.
Synchronously, I had received a sweet reflection this morning that went along perfectly with this theme, and that touched me so much. A new and dear friend of mine wrote to me saying he felt I looked so happy and added, “your happiness is contagious – a much needed thing.”
That’s the message I want to leave you with, which is one of the foundations of my own life.
Celebrate What’s Right With the World and your life will be enriched.
This is a post about joy, gratitude, and love – building blocks to manifesting a magickal and wondrous life and the foundations for supporting healing transmutation and implementation of passions into dreams come true. While some people might be thrown off balance or upset, down, and self-critical over a fracture (even the old me would have been too), I feel like everything is in flow, fresh, and thriving. Definitely some of that has to do with perspective, but it feels also to be about alignment and embrace of the harmonious spirals of life. I haven’t for a second felt anything other than harmony and gratitude since my hiking adventure that led to my injury, as it feels much more to be a reset aligned with life shifts, an igniting or opening (fissure) for the new to flow in, not to mention is mirroring the seasonal changes we’re going into from Summer to Autumn.
I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful things have been surrounding the onset of my fracture and what it has revealed and put into motion. It’s incredible to witness and review…in some ways mind-blowing because I can remember the difference in my processes over the course of my life with things and it’s so dramatically contrasting to what I experience now. This is how I can SEE things ARE in fact changing and can anchor in more and more gratitude.
I’d like to share a couple of updates and then some very beautiful and incredible experiences.
First off….more gratitude sent out to everyone who has sent their good and healing vibes my way and for sending Astrid birthday wishes. We so appreciate your love and I’d like to share that my foot is doing very well. I can’t believe it’s already going to be a week since it happened, come tomorrow! Time is literally whizzing by. OMGOSH!
I’ve made mental note of how my own nurturing processes are even in much higher gear, as I’m taking REALLY good care of myself with this fracture. I noted that last go-around I wasn’t as diligent with the process, although did do good things for it, but I didn’t baby my foot in the way I should have and still was focused on accomplishing and getting things done, rather than hunkering down into the full healing mode and not trying to see how much I could still squeeze out of it all.
This time it’s been pure healing, slow-down, and wise caution, not doing anything at all to inhibit my healing or see what I can possibly still do. I have been purely babying my foot, keeping my boot on at nearly all possible times (even when it bothered the Pisces me who likes my feet free! and even when I sleep) – and doing extra nurturing things, as well as making sure to ask for help, which Dave has been so sweetly pouring out anyway.
This has included long hours on the highest setting of my biomat for my foot the last few days and just recently starting up my comfrey poultices, after a friend picked up some for me since I couldn’t get out. Being my right foot, I’m in complete surrender of others taking care of me and driving me around….weeeeeee! That in the past would have bothered me and now I’m loving not being able to go anywhere and surrendering to that, but also enjoying the sweetness of support, love, and friendship.
Anyway, I am trying new poultices with comfrey root and this feels really symbolically and literally potent and even more aligned for me right now. I made a paste and wrapped in a thin cloth I placed in the freezer for just a bit….last night when I had it on it just felt so good….just like the biomat did….like aaahhhhhhh yummy healing for my foot.
The root feels so supportive of grounding, balancing, rooting, and Earthing that my Pisces feet can appreciate and integrate in a new way. After last night’s session of poultice while watching a movie, I literally woke this morning with my foot feeling stronger…literally!
I’ve also been doing Reiki on my foot and using a Selenite wand on the area of impact.
Good stuff, which I’ll continue to implement, along with wearing my boot all day (just as the doctor at the hospital told me too) other than when doing healing work like this to help compliment my healing process.
* (I’m not a doctor and nothing I share is offered as medical advice – CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL and see a doctor immediately if you have been injured. These are only my personal experiences I take responsibility for only for myself) *
Even my sweet Astrid has been helping. I thought she would be scared of my boot and crutches when I first came home with them, but she in fact was not and in fact has immediately gone about sharing her healing energy with me, reiterating my knowing she is a healing bunny. When ever I am near her, she will come over and nose my boot/foot, which is her way (all of my bunnies’ way) of administering healing. Their noses are a channel, just like our hands, to spread the energy and love. So sweet! I remember Nestor doing this, especially once for my mom in conjunction with me doing a Reiki Healing Attunement for her, which was like a super pow! Immediately shifted my mom into balance and feeling good. Astrid is definitely demonstrating the same power-packed punch!
So that’s a foot and healing update, which I envision continuing well and being speedy based on my experience with it so far and being a good patient. 😉
On another note, I have to share this incredible thing that happened on Thursday that blew me away. We had friends over since I still was in “stay home mode” and Dave had to go out to pick up food we ordered at our fav local Thai restaurant, since T – me – wasn’t cooking and staying off her feet.
A knock came at the door and I opened it to find no one there, except these beautiful babies and a note.
I immediately knew that our amazing friends had gone back to retrieve my crystal babies.
So, I’ll back up to help you understand this, as I likely wasn’t clear in my story of my hiking injury.
I had 2 big quartz in my back pack I was carrying, as they spoke to me needing to come home and would be a part of what I will be creating in the near future. We have guesstimated them to be at least 50 lbs. So, as you can tell, I was quite determined in carrying these for miles. It didn’t even phase me, as the mind is a miraculous thing. It also officially put me into back-packer status, carrying so much and being so small.
When I fell and went into trauma shock, I asked my friends to remove the pack immediately because I needed to focus on balancing from the nausea, shock, and turning white. (I really didn’t have any pain except an initial quick impact feeling of the break that was actually pretty subtle in comparison to my last fracture, but the body reacts this way to trauma impact).
In process of balancing and readying ourselves for what was next in getting me down the mountain, I told them to leave the crystals, which Dave reiterated, as it wasn’t as important as taking care of me, being that we didn’t know the severity of things.
So they were left on the side, and I did feel this underlying sadness, but also this odd sense of continued connection that wasn’t broken.
One other friend had been carrying a quartz too and she ended up leaving as well, down further on the path, to not impede her own journey back down.
Anyway, I hadn’t forgotten them and still felt this channel of connection between them, and oddly (which I never shared with anyone) I felt like they were still with me and/or would be somehow/some way, even if it meant they’d wait for me to return later or after the Winter thaw.
So fast forward to the door opening and there they were before me with the note.
I was overwhelmed with emotion that came forth later, as I was so excited and giddy that that took over.
I then caught glimpse to the left at the bottom of the stairs, one of our friends videoing me and my reaction and knew they’d gone back to get them.
Most of my reactions were in Faery laughter and astonishment, but it was also full of exhilaration and exuberant joy and gratitude that rushed through in realizing what incredible friends I had. Like so incredible you can’t even form words except to giggle forth with joy and to form joyous tears that bubbled in my eyes later when I was hugging them over and over.
Our friends had gone back that morning on a 5 hour hike JUST to retrieve my and our other friend’s 3 crystals (likely 60+ lbs and a gift or two they found for themselves for embracing the journey of love.
BESTEST friends ever!
They also shared with us these SO SO funny videos of documenting the journey back, which had us in belly laughs. I was especially laughing at our friend’s impression of me carrying the crystals in my pack and how I was still looking around at more and saying I can carry 1 or 2 more of these babies! This was funny because they now realized just how heavy the ones I had with me were, which made my saying this hilarious as to how my determined mind took over.
This photo puts into perspective the size of just the one largest one, which is of course the heaviest too. I’m still smiling though!!
The other VERY interesting thing they noted was that where I fell was exactly at the site of the quartz field we’d been waiting to reach. Dave kept saying there was another one because he’d been on the hike before, when the girls and I had stopped at the first one we found to look around. So he was telling us not to spend time because more were on the way. We never actually saw this other site, because my injury took over focus.
Well, on their way back to retrieve the crystals they found that where I fell (marked by where we left the crystals) was exactly where they were, just up the hill from there a bit. That gave me chills in thinking of the energetics of it all at work and the alignments igniting and activating once I’d reached this area infused with more crystal vibes.
The crystals are super special and you can’t even tell the beauty of them in the photos…their amazing color – one is pinkish and the other like a golden apricot – and both have all this sparkly clear quartz infusions into the raw natural quartz rock. Amazing specimens and masterful beings!!
I’m still overwhelmed by it and also anchoring in more and more gratitude and realization that this is the new reality I have created for myself (and that is possible) where everything in it is a reflection of alignment and love…supportive energies…beautiful souls working together for a greater good….everyone mindful of and helping each other’s needs and dreams, but also supporting their own and their dreams, which brings together the highest of vibes and the power of the collective to move mountains…..or in this case to carry 60+ lbs of crystals.
It literally has to be one of the most special things I’ve ever received..and I don’t mean the crystals (although I’m in awe and gratitude of them being with me), but the gesture of true love and friendship.
These same friends also picked up my comfrey for me (it even had a Tinkerbell on the bag from the store!) and brought over some amazing organic “dragonfly” spicy black chai.
After that, our other friends arrived and I was then gifted a mini wardrobe of clothes she was moving out and thought were perfect for me and they were!
I was/am really feeling the love and I know that this is mirroring the fact that I’ve finally really anchored in taking care of myself, listening to my dreams and needs too, and balancing out that martyr energy of always giving out and never receiving – not to mention have implemented healthy boundaries. In the past receiving was hard and now it feels natural because it IS the natural flow and cycle.
You can’t just give, give, give….and you can’t just receive, receive, receive…
There is a flow of exchange to be open to and grateful for and it is all-encompassing of both being inherent in the wholeness of BEING. That is also the nature of Reiki….a harmonious circuit of flow in and out, which if blocked in any way, is the cause of challenges and dis-ease.
Yesterday was my first full outing since fracturing my foot, which included errands related to the new, a hair appointment for me, visiting my parents, and Dave getting a haircut by my mom (she has been a beautician although doesn’t do it professionally anymore since leaving her birth place, France).
I was feeling high-vibed to get a refresh on my hair, which included cut/thinning for lightness and hair getting to all silver and brown (my roots), which feels SO different and SO good. There’s constantly this recreating energy taking place to keep up with the ever-shifting energies. If I’m not naturally shape-shifting, then I’m assisting it. I also thought it was fun that my stylist styled my hair with loose spirals for a change, which felt mirroring of all the snake energy around me lately and the spiraling of the journey of life in general. I don’t ever curl my hair, as I don’t have the tools and usually just let my hair dry naturally so this was a fun update although brief.
We also got good news on this day/yesterday for something that has been in the works and took a huge turn the day before that could have gone a whole other way, but I worked with the Faeries, Buffalo energy, and did a Reiki Healing Attunement for, resulting in being told to fully trust, know what we want, and take assertive stance of our needs and the rest would be taken care of…and it was!
I’m saving that for a future post, but is something very exciting to me and going to anchor in everything further and more richly.
Lastly, I am happy to say that my book is back on track with the time off my feet and I should be able to have exciting news on that too here shortly!
We are all in this together and bringing your best “foot” forward with all of your parts together in unified alignment, sharing lots of love, joyous infusion and supportive action of your passions, and a LOT of gratitude and healthy balance supports harmony to take form in relative ways for each of us.
Dream posts continue, as this was another meaningful dream I felt compelled to share now that I’ve had time with it for myself. The day after my dream I posted yesterday about the two blue snakes and gila monster, as you might recall was the day “The Tree Beckoned and I Followed.” Well, after that experience in finding the presence of orbs all around me inside the tree portal (appearing like I’d stepped inside the Cosmos) that night I had another potent and healing dream that brought full circle a gift from my beloved rabbit, Joy, who has also been showing up so profoundly lately.
Synchronously, this was also the night of the marches collectively taking place.
Since many of you so sweetly sent messages and love about Joy when she transitioned and have followed along with my bunny love’s journeys, I thought this might be not only conclusive as a companion piece to my share about Joy’s last moments and days on Earth in the physical I wrote and spoke about extensively in this post “In Life & Death, “Joy” Is Always There,” but may also be supportive to others who have experienced loss of their beloved animal companions and loved ones in demonstrating the eternal connection that does not end and how we are continually being supported by the connection shared.
In my dream on Saturday 1/21, Joy was with me and she had taken ill, just like in the end before she left in waking life. The odd thing was that her tail came off in the dream and it was very large – much larger than normal size. It literally broke off on its own, but perfectly. I could see all of the tiny bones and ligaments that connect it to her bum, but where it broke off was so clean and precise, without blood or any signs of injury. This indicates to me a sense of no suffering being experienced on her “end” and a clean “ending” and healing closure at the “tail end” of this experience. The tail being so large and furry feels to be definitive in this closure and the “end of an era” again reiterated for me, balance being restored, and that I’m using intuition, creativity, and wisdom in my life more than ever and this will be increasing.
Although rabbit’s feet are connected to “lucky charms,” the tail may also be considered as such since there is connection with rabbit’s tails as their way of escaping predators with the white flash of the tail confusing them as to their exact location when in pursuit.
I also feel this symbolism she showed me is directly connected to my book, but that’s for me to understand the connection, although I will say that direct healing is involved on many levels with its unfolding.
But back to the dream….
I then notice her feet, especially the left one, and they look exactly like Fiver’s – the mouse that I nurtured recently.
These mouse feet were only on her back legs, just like Fiver’s back legs were the only part of him that showed signs of his injury from the impact to that area and lower back.
That left leg on her was completely limp, red, bruised. I remember one spot on Fiver’s leg had a bruised, red area, so again tied in with him.
Then in the dream she comes and lays on me, as I comfort her and caress her.
In the dream I start calling around to vets to get her in (just as I did in waking life when she took ill), but I get the sense she won’t make it in time to get there. In real life, she had just made it to the ER after a long over an hour’s drive and then passed not long after I left her in the doctor’s care to monitor over night, at her request.
So, now in the dream I am aware she won’t make it and I will just be with her to help her transition peacefully, just like I was there for Fiver.
She is in my arms and then suddenly she lets out a little cry, followed by one last big breath and I know she is leaving her body with that.
Nestor had let out a piercing, excruciating cry when she left this Earth, but this was different….it was soft and although rabbit’s only cry when in pain, it was an indication of release rather than suffering to me and not as tormenting to experience as Nestor’s was.
(BTW, this is how she actually transitioned when I left her at the ER, as the doctor shared this with me when she called to tell me that she let out a soft cry and took a big breath and went.)
I then rub her head softly, as she lays in my arms and tell her over and over that I love her, wanting that to be the last thing she hears before she completely goes and slowly her heart and breathing wind down to nothing.
I’m sobbing in the dream and at this point can feel my half wake state in real life and know and can hear me wimpering in real life too.
Although emotional, it was a gentle experience and was not at all a dream, but completely a reality she and I were sharing for a purpose and rewriting the end together.
I felt that she was connecting me to understand a deeper healing than I may have been aware of that I had through Fiver.
Perhaps wanting me to know she had projected a part of herself in Fiver when he had come to me, or that he had been sent to me by her, as a way for me to experience this healing with him through her.
This may include being there with her at the very end when she transitioned, since I was not when she passed, as I had left her at the ER by her choice in not wanting me to have to go through that experience.
Although I knew she wanted that and maybe thought I was not ready yet for this, I felt like I wished I’d been there. Maybe her seeing how I handled Cosmo’ passing, made her now know I was ready and she gifted me this experience in “dream” time and with Fiver, so I could relive being there with her.
And she gifted it in a gentle, beautiful way.
Even the way that Fiver jumped on the crystal when he transitioned, like blasting off into the Cosmos, could have been a sign of connection with her since Joy was so connected to crystals herself and always layed with them and had their points jutting into her body to receive their energy, working with gridding our homes and journeying with them.
This dream, as they all are to me, was very “real time”. And I did feel this sense of deepening closure and peace knowing I supported her this way and that I was strong enough now to keep going through these kinds of experiences in supporting these sweet souls in their transitions.
And afterall, Joy is a cosmic traveler, shape shifter, and portal journeyer. You might recall that she and Nestor showed up in Glacier National Park as the two cosmic deer on the day I spread their ashes, from this post: Spreading Ashes, Spreading Joy ~ Cosmic Encounters & Sacred Connections
So connecting with Fiver is not far from reach for her either. 😉 And creating timeline jumps for us to relive/recreate what “is” would be right up her alley too. I love how she changed the “ending” and that I could be with her.
Quick side note and speaking of Nestor, the day after that dream we headed down the stairs from our place and the crew was there shoveling the snow as they do and one guy says to the other to alert him we were coming up behind him since he was busy shoveling and didn’t see us, “Watch out Nestor.” I smiled so big knowing my sweet Nestor was wanting to chime in too with reiteration to the dream connections.
And to add to the timings and synchronicity, another tie-in with Joy took place just a couple of days before my dream of her. I received a voicemail message from the doctor in Jackson, Wyoming who did her surgery. The story line of this is included in the above post on her transition.
He was such an angel, who came in on his day off to do this, talked to me on the phone, provided me his personal number and went above and beyond in helping her/me.
A little rewind…..about a month or a few weeks after Joy passed I’d sent him a plant with a nice thank you note just wanting to acknowledge how grateful I was for everything that he’d done for us. He even called me the night she transitioned after talking with the ER doctor that night (late I might add) to give her background right before she passed.
I actually never heard from him after I sent the thank you gift, so I wasn’t sure if he got it, but figured that our crossing of paths was complete.
Then 6 months later he calls and in his message says he just wanted to say hello, was thinking of me, thanked me for the nice plant and thoughtful card…and told me whenever I had time to give him a call to talk because he had felt such a good vibe from me and really connected with me, so he wanted to see how I was.
I was so touched and it felt like Joy’s way of starting to get the ball rolling with her plan of recreating the “end”.
And then back to the day at the tree portal, right before that night’s dream, I now was able to connect the dots and that this portal was activating the opening to this experience Joy was setting up for me to rewrite “history” and I feel that larger orb above me was her.
What an experience and how gracious and loving Joy is to gift me this one thing I had wished.
There are no limitations to our connections, eternal love and bonds, and what is possible.
I feel a greater lightness and deepening of my love with her and my loves, and gratitude for her gifts in knowing what would be perfect for my journey and moving forward with my work.
Yesterday I received another very loud, clear, and blaring message from my sweet rabbit and soul companion, Joy, as you can see in this photo from our hike. As we were descending the mountain, our attention was drawn to the left and there in clear letters was her name deliberately written in the snow upon a rock. Incredible.
You may remember the sign from Cosmo after his transition and messages I’ve been getting from Joy since my dream of her about a week and a half or so ago where she was getting my attention to “hear” and “listen” to something coming, which could be tangible or telepathic.
Immediately following the dream, my bunny loves have been super active in showing up with messages, gifts, and their presences, but especially so, Joy has been with very tangibly seen messages and several times with her name appearing in huge letters.
Yesterday Joy’s message showed up right after I’d spent the last five minutes deeply immersed in thinking about my bunny loves and was getting teary eyed, feeling the tug at my heart strings.
Joy’s message felt fourfold.
- I felt that she was wanting me to know how much they were with me and to feel their love and “joy” in my heart to heal any sadness present.
- I felt that she was messaging me again to keep listening, being ultra observant, and to pay attention to the signs and messages she and the others would be sending me, as something is amping up right now and something big is coming. Also, to confirm for me to keep on point with my path I’m being inspired to follow right now, as it’s being supported and channeled by them to fuel my heart.
- I felt it (and the other “Joy” signs) was confirmation of what I’d come to see about Joy in her last year or so of having truly embraced and embodied her name, which when I first got her she had been concerned she couldn’t live up to and afraid of disappointing if she couldn’t be the essence of “Joy” always. She came to own that truth of her heart, as her innocence and vulnerability WAS pure Joy always.
- And a “joy” filled appreciation for what I’ll share below.
Needless to say, I was so touched by seeing her sign and have been so grateful for my bunny loves’ constant and recently very profound presence in more heightened ways than usual.
So much so, that I’m discovering myself embodying the bunny me more than ever and everything in my life is coming up bunnies, as I’ll touch a little bit on in another post.
Gaia has been there too, but she seems to make very timely, big entrances at less frequent intervals.
But for now, as we approach the end of this year and get ready to walk through a new gateway of experience, I felt so much that alongside all that I’m focused on I really wanted to anchor in some energy (it’s 3:33 pm here as I write this part) and honor the memory of my sweet ones in a way I know they would appreciate and likely have inspired.
Each year Dave and I give to organizations to help animals. Most of the time we do it around Christmas and the New Year, but sometimes it’s been at Easter (for bunnies), and sporadically donate to different events as well at any given time. For example, I’ve donated a bunch of my paintings, prints, time and services to help raise money for animals and volunteered at a rabbit shelter as well for a while.
This year it was immediately a stand-out for us where we wanted to lend our support.
Our Christmas gift went to two non-profit organizations that were connected with both Joy and Cosmo, in honor and in memory of them and all the love they had for the bunnies they left behind, and came to know over the course of their sheltered lives, when they came home with me, and to others like them that are in need and not as fortunate as they were.
Donations provide things like food, litter, supplies, toys, and help out with vet fees for neutering/spaying, health challenges, and needed surgeries.
Joy and Cosmo are “compassion ambassadors” for rabbits and spreading awareness and education to others about rabbits, and this was a way not only to do what is in my and Dave’s hearts’ “joy” to offer in way of support, but also to continue their work through me, since we are One.
No wonder I’m becoming a rabbit more and more with these power souls channeling through me.
It’s one way we can help bunnies in need, bridge the rabbit/human gap, do what’s most in our hearts, show our reverence for these two ever-giving souls, a way for me to keep them alive through me, and a way to spread a little “JOY” to others via the path and role I have in this life involving rabbits.
This year has been profoundly shifting for me, which has been in large part because of the work I’ve been doing with my rabbit companions and what has come through them.
These messages and gifts in the cycle of giving and receiving mutually, have truly been a theme pervading 2016 for me and I can’t think of a more perfect way to close it out and anchor in the new.
We are having a lovely, although very whirlwindish vacation back in Southern California, which I’ll share more of the fun and magick of when I return home and have the time to get the photos I’ve been collecting of our memories here together. But for now, on this special day I just wanted to share something dear to my heart and some Christmas Eve wishes from my and Joy’s hearts to yours.
Today happens to not only be Christmas Eve, but is also the birthday of my sweet rabbit, Joy, who would have been 13 this year.
She reminds me of many things and has been so profoundly around the last week or so with messages and showing up for me and others I know in known or unknown ways.
Today is a reminder of celebrating the inner child and possibilities available to us when we vulnerably share our hearts and embody the integrity of our essence. Joy taught me this and so much more as my companion, guide, and teacher in life. She also taught me to listen within and to trust the messages in and all around me, and that balance was key to living a life of harmony and grace.
There have been some very auspicious events around Joy the last two days and one of which was a sweet message I received this morning that I just had to share because it touched my heart so and again pointed to Joy’s profound reach and messages she is wanting to impart. I won’t share the person who sent it, but here is the message that meant a lot to me:
“To dear Tania, Happy Christmas Eve to you and all your loved ones. You have been and are an inspiration in my life and will now be an inspiration to all others in my life because you have caused a massive ripple. Your way of living has helped bring back the hope in my life which lost me for a while. Yesterday I watched a film which I had thought about watching for a while, but didn’t until yesterday. I watched it because the name of the film was Joy. I followed the magic which the universe in all it’s magical ways was trying to show me. The film is about a lady who despite having everything thrown against her made her dream come true. So now I will follow my dream and be strong. So thank you to you and all your beautiful friends and loved ones with all of my heart. In this moment, I am happy and that is what counts. This moment. I hope to always see your magical pictures you post. Blessings to you. Peace to you, love and Prosperity to you.”
This was my response:
“I can’t express to you enough how reading this message this morning touched me so. Wow! What a beautiful share from you. It made me so happy to hear that you are feeling a sense of renewal and inspired zest for life. This is incredible and if I had any tiny bit of a part in that, I am grateful for that ability to have connected in a meaningful way that makes a difference. Also, you may not be aware, but today, Xmas eve, would have been my rabbit Joy’s birthday…so your message was truly profound, as the film you saw had her name and she’s been so strongly around and sending me messages…now this…It shows how she is also still working her magick as the powerful one that she is, touching others as she always has…and speaks to our connection.”
You may remember I had a dream about Joy the night before the Christmas celebration with my family and then I saw in large letters the lit up word “JOY” on the window across the street of my parent’s house, as a neighbor’s decorative display.
And something else I’ll share more about when I’m home that happened yesterday too. Plus, another friend sharing how much Joy, along with my other loves were around her and felt so much, Laura also sharing how she and my other two bunnies had a hand in some gifts for me, and gifts from two other friends yesterday that she and my bunny loves were a part of.
I hear you Joy and I hope that your message and presence will continue to shine a light of love into everyone’s hearts as you have mine for eternity.
May you all know and embody “joy” and wonder today and all the days of your life and may peace be your constant companion.
Joy is alive and strong in our lives and that especially is so for little Cosmo. Her stuffed bunny friend whom she enchanted with life and magick with her love, just like the Velveteen Rabbit, is now enchanting Cosmo’s days. This rabbit she brought to life is infused with her essence (especially so in her last days before departing) and is a gateway for her to physically remain close and provide Cosmo with the warmth of tangible companionship, alongside the magickal presence, guidance, support, and love she is infusing our journey with daily.
It is a gift to have the dynamic trio of Joy, Nestor, and Gaia working with us from the otherworld.
And Joy, Cosmo, and I still remain a team of potent trinity energy, but it warms my heart to know that Cosmo is still receiving what he desires and needs on all levels.
Love is eternal, transcendent, and magickal indeed.
Here is Cosmo loving and cleaning his best friend, as he always has. Warms my heart knowing and seeing how Joy is literally so near beyond what I feel, sense, and receive telepathically.
This isn’t sad. It’s a reminder that the bonds are eternal and that life is all around us even if we can’t “see” it physically with our eyes.
Yesterday was our last day, for now, in the U.S. and in East Glacier National Park, Montana, as we journey forward over the border into Canada today to Waterton Park, Alberta. There we’ll be exploring Waterton Lakes National Park at the north end of Glacier and deeper northern region of the Rockies. I couldn’t have asked for a more meaningful and magickal experience to celebrate this last day and my connection with both Joy and Nestor, as the day unfolded divinely with manifestations galore that were in support of our sacred connection and activation ritual they were guiding me to initiate here.
It was so heart and soul rich that it deserved its own blog, alongside a recap blog of this past week that is forthcoming.
Our journey led us to the Many Glacier entrance of the park on the north east side of Glacier where we were feeling drawn to do the hike to Grinnell Lake. It ended up being about a 7 1/2 mile roundtrip hike that took us past two other lakes – Swiftcurrent Lake that gorgeous Many Glacier Hotel sits on and Lake Josephine – as well as wanders through amazing vistas that take your breath away (more of those photos will be in my recap blog).
What we didn’t know was that it also had the opportunity to swing up to Hidden Falls, which proved to be a guiding force for this journey.
I’d been feeling that somewhere in Glacier would be where some of Joy’s ashes would come to rest, as she had led us to Montana (extending her physical body’s presence with us until getting there, as a pointer for me). I had always felt that Montana was an important part of this journey for some reason, and those reasons would unfold once I was there. It also happened to be a place I’d made energetic connection to 20 years ago when I passed through Glacier on the Amtrak train, coming to reconnect with the Blackfeet Indians at my touch down – more on that in the next blog.
I knew it was a place for soul retrieval and activation work, as well as collective empowerment work for the Blackfeet and more.
What I didn’t know was that Nestor would, in partnership with Joy, be a part of this. But that became more clear as the week unfolded.
Interestingly, I hadn’t been led to take Joy’s and Nestor’s ashes with us on our daily hiking adventures, except for this last day in East Glacier.
So we gently packed them up in our backpack and we were off.
I had no idea if I’d actually be spreading their ashes or not, as I would wait for the messages and guidance, and the feeling had to be just right.
This hike was such a stunning journey and I increasingly was feeling the build up of energy that was signifying to me this was going to take place…I just had to wait for the right moment and signs.
Along the way I was soul infused by the beauty that resonated so deeply with my essence and all the things I love.
About a little over half way to Grinnell Lake my first sign appeared, although it hit me with astounding clarity later.
We’d seen a couple of animal friends run across the path like chipmunks and marmots, but suddenly two deer now appeared.
The wild thing is, which seems to happen all the time with instant manifestation after intent or thought, I had literally 1 second before seeing them said in my head, “I wonder where the deer and elk are, as we haven’t seen them since West Glacier.”
Bam! Hello deer!
Two does (female deer) stepped out of the brush, literally 5 feet away from me, as I was leading the way on our hike.
They were so incredibly beautiful, delicate, and otherworldly.
I knew they were not of this world, but in it right now, as they felt and looked so cosmic – extraterrestrial in nature, combined with a human, deer, and magickal quality. Shapeshifters indeed.
Dave and I stopped and just enjoyed connecting with them.
I talked to them, as they looked at me and wandered back and forth across the path, eating and making sure we were aware that they wanted to connect and communicate. They were in no need or rush to leave us.
This lasted for quite some time and then an older couple at the other end of the path approached. They saw the deer with us and so they stopped too – the woman taking photographs, as I was.
The four of us were all peaceful and calm, mirroring these lovely creatures’ energy. And so they remained.
They continued slowly moving down the path, beckoning us to follow and so we did. They were constantly keeping in very close proximity to us, without wandering much farther away than 15 feet, then returning close by again within 5 or so feet.
Eventually we decided to move on and the other couple followed our cue.
As we passed each other, the woman said to me, “how lucky we are.”
But the man said to me, “you’re not done yet.”
The couple left and Dave and I lingered a bit more with the does, then decided to fully continue on, feeling grateful for the time they had shared with us.
They came onto the path ahead of us, as if leading us down the path and wanting us to follow again, which we did.
After a while they wandered further into the brush a bit, still wanting to connect, but then we heard a lot of noise coming up behind us. A family with young kids that were being a bit rambunctious and another couple ahead with loud bells on them to ward off bears.
I looked at the two deer and they looked at me. Their calm energy was about to be disrupted and perhaps even become distressed and scared by this energy, as I heard the family behind say, “Look there’s deer!” and were rushing forward.
I wanted to protect them.
So I said to the two does, “Hurry, go! Go hide!”
And they instantly listened and separated – one to each side of the path and went deeper into the brush so they weren’t as accessible anymore.
I said to Dave, after a while of contemplating what the man said, “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what he meant. Seems like a message that something more is to come.”
Dave said, “maybe he wasn’t just a man,” in his sort of serious joking voice.
I said, “now you’re catching on,” and I giggled.
We continued on and arrived at Grinnell Lake, crossing rivers, creeks, and passing a sign for Hidden Falls, to which I said, “we’ll go there on the way back.”
Grinnell Lake was stunning.
More of that amazing aqua water that I see all around here in Glacier because of the glacial silt that catches the sun so amazingly, a bunch of cascading waterfalls coming down the snow laced mountains, and amazing colors and textures speaking so vibrantly to all of the senses.
We spent some time connecting there, finding this perfect place to sit away from the people at the opening of the lake. It was a wood plank someone had set in between two trees, creating a little bench framed and cradled by the trees’ branches and facing the lake, mountains, and waterfalls. I loved it!
I tuned in, as I had wondered if this would be where their ashes would go, knowing that it was to be in sacred water. Visually, one would think it would have been here, but because I felt all things would be harmoniously guiding me, having the wind blowing at me so strongly, which would mean the ashes would be blown at me or washed immediately on the shore, this was indication that it was not in alignment here to do this.
I was to flow with nature, not work against it.
So, after a while we decided to head back and went back to where the sign for Hidden Falls was.
Up we climbed, passing another older couple on their way down. The woman says to me, “it’s so beautiful!”
I smiled, and said, “oh good! I’m so glad!” Feeling, hmmmm, this could be the place.
We arrived at the top and Hidden Falls was indeed beautiful and quite magickal.
So gorgeous with the green moss covered dark rocks carved by the cascading water that created an aqua pool below and was surrounded by joyous flowers and a mountain peak extending upwards from the top.
It had rained lightly on and off on this hike, and when we arrived it began to sprinkle.
There was a viewing platform to take in the waterfall, but it was away from the water and so once again, I was wondering how this could work for spreading their ashes.
Dave noted that there was a way down to some overhanging rocks, if we climbed through the wooden railings and hiked down. It seemed slick with mud and rock, so I was contemplating, especially since we weren’t fully sure the edge would drop right off to the water.
But something drew my attention to the ground just on the other side of the wooden railings where my eyes lit up and I said, “Look!! It’s a red heart! A larger version of the little red heart I found a couple of days ago and had just posted about this morning on Facebook!” The rain drops were just starting to fall upon it, revealing its true, deep red color that the water unveiled – matching my stone at home.
I’d shared that the little one had been one of many heart stones along the paths that I’ve been seeing and gifted since Joy transitioned, along with feathers – both feeling like her angelic love and presence guiding and supporting me daily.
So as soon as I saw this large red heart, I instantly said, “That’s the sign I was waiting for! This is it! This is the place!” And my hesitation about going down the cliff completely dissipated and I actually ended up being the one leading the way.
We climbed down to the rock edge above the falls and I peered over with glee seeing that in fact the ashes would go directly into the water below when thrown. Yay!
So we sat at the edge, with lovely yellow flowers between us and the falls, and I gingerly started opening the sacred boxes housing Joy’s and Nestor’s ashes.
I took out Joy’s ashes first, untying the bag that held her white essence.
I pinched a little of her loveliness and with complete joy, some weeeeeeee’s and yay’s I released her above the waters below, watching her merge with the beautiful aqua sacredness. I did this twice and each time filled with “joy” and celebration, as I said, “go beautiful Joy and do your thing!” knowing that her powerful essence would work magickal alchemy beyond what anyone could imagine in coming to rest and merge here.
After Joy’s ashes, I did the same with Nestor’s, which were a gray essence, feeling that they were meant to work and be together, as they always have been and always will. Again, with extreme “joy” I released Nestor to join in the celebration and sacred intention.
Both of their ashes not only merged with the waters below, but with the waters from the sky above as well, as some of their ashes were gently carried by the raindrops to their resting place below.
Such beautiful symbolism and the most perfect, mirroring place for both of them in these Hidden Falls surrounded by Faery magick galore! The water here would journey down and connect with Josephine Lake where we’d be journeying back along.
And it felt so perfect and light, which was a different experience from all of the times I’d spread Nestor’s ashes in other sacred areas across the globe where it was very serious, more drawn out, and included some shedding of tears most of the time.
This was the new way and my new path of harmony, joy, and ease. Not to mention the new way for us all.
Just as potent. Just as magickal. Yet I could get there by means of a different path now.
Thank you my precious partners!
I snapped a photo of this enchanted sacred place to remember it always and then we made our way back up and to the other side of the wooden railings.
Crossing the boundary back into the realm from which we’d left, now returning in renewed harmony.
We made our way down the hiking trail back to the main path and as we were walking I was saying to Dave how perfect all of it was and how meant to be, commenting on the details, the heart, the lightness of it all, and no one being around or coming near while we did this.
I finished this joyous review with a connection that suddenly hit me.
The two does we’d seen were Joy and Nestor!
That’s why they connected so much. That’s why they were so otherworldly.
They had shapeshifted or sent these deer as messengers to me, directly from them.
The second I said that, again instantly, the same two does showed up at the bottom of the trail to Hidden Falls where it meets Grinnell Lake Trail.
They had followed us all that way, or had just manifested in that moment, to confirm what I was saying and to thank me for what I had just done!
I was so excited and felt the beautiful completeness of it all.
We connected a bit, then Dave went on and I lingered slightly, then I thanked them and went on myself.
When I caught up with Dave I said, “Now it makes sense what that man was saying to me.”
The rest of the hike back I was elated and gliding along with my heart in overload.
Near the end of the trail I then looked down and saw a feather. It was a twin to the feather I’d found the day before in terms of being the same kind of feather from the same bird.
Two parts of a whole, each unique, but connected, just like my sweet Joy and Nestor.
Again, another sign and gift from Joy and Nestor together as confirmation of this joyous completion.
We got back to the car and decided to visit Many Glacier Hotel on our way out, which was just lovely (more photos to come in the upcoming recap blog). We enjoyed a refreshment there overlooking the view and I reflected on it all.
Then back in the car we went to head home to the Magick Bus and Cosmo who I was excited to go share the experience with, although I knew he was aware of it.
Just before we leave through this area of the park to get on the highway that’s when our first Black Bear shows up – again another thing we’d just mentioned earlier.
Dave had wondered why a bear hadn’t shown up yet.
I’d said to him, “One will show up when we are in need of its energy and message.”
And so I guess now was that time.
She caught my eye as we were driving and so we got out to connect more, as I was able to snap some photos of this beauty relishing on the abundance of berries in the lushness of the mountain, fully in her “joy”.
Right as we got to the edge of Browning – the town I’d stopped in 20 years ago and was taken in by the Blackfeet family – a small rainbow appeared in the clouds across the fields – the second rainbow we’d seen here in East Glacier.
The first rainbow was on our first day of arrival here when we also saw our moose friend, but now it was book-ending our time here on the last day and after this beautiful and sacred experience.
It’s hard to see it in the photo, but it is at center of the clouds in the background and was quite vibrant in person.
And for the first time, at this end of the park, a huge herd of Bison appeared in the fields in front of the rainbow and I was filled with “joy” watching the little ones running exuberantly, as their mothers playfully joined in.
I felt guided to recount my last days and what I experienced with my rabbit, Joy, through video share rather than writing a long account. It felt to be a more personal, transparent, and vulnerable way to do so, while also the way of honoring that felt most resonant. While I didn’t share every detail, it is still a long video, and is a way to express what has happened to all who have been asking, wondering, and have shared concern, a way to process more layers of my integration with it, and a way to be of assistance to others that are going through loss, as well as to help understand these natural and yet magickal cycles.
The video was shot in one succession of recount, however due to its size I was cut off during it and had to re-record immediately where I left off, multiple times. Due to that, there may be a couple of words where the videos are threaded together that are lost, but the general message should all be there and I did my best to pick back up and repeat where I left off.
I didn’t know how it would come through, nor prepared for it, so what ever was meant to I believe did.
Here is the video share from my heart:
There are a few things I wanted to add that are beautiful memories for me, which I’ll do so interspersed with some beautiful photo memories of Joy in her last days (which you’ll find at the end) and over time, here below.
I mention in the video that I knew this was coming for Joy, I just didn’t know the exact time until the day of her passing. That morning I knew she was leaving and said that to both Dave and Janet, who was still around at the time. I knew she wouldn’t make it through that day, but there were different scenarios that could play out and I was only concerned with the path of least pain for her and to honor her wishes, so going to any extent was necessary in my mind, which ended up being driving nearly 2 hours to create the alignments necessary.
But a few days before her having more issues and my taking her in for surgery, I had a dream. It was more involved than what I’ll share, but I don’t remember anything more than this.
In the dream she was a giant bunny, the same size as me. It was her, but there were also some elements of Nestor in her. I remember her taking her paws and back legs and wrapping them fully around me, and then me doing the same with my own arms and legs, leaving us in a giant embrace and snuggling one another like a big bear hug – my face immersed in her soft fur.
I felt her immense love in this human-sized hug and when I woke I knew she was wanting to let me know that she appreciated all of my efforts, that she knew I was doing all that I could, that she loved me so much, and for me to know she was preparing to leave.
So, things from there were not surprising and it was definitely no coincidence she chose a cosmic portal and full moon to bridge her journey to the beyond.
To demonstrate Joy’s ever-giving love and devotion to being of service, while she was ill, just before I was able to get her in to have surgery, I wanted to give Dave a Reiki healing attunement for things that he was going through and in the middle of the attunement, Joy hopped over and helped out. She went to his right foot and nosed him, sitting there flowing Reiki to him along with me until I was done. Something Nestor also used to do. I managed to capture a quick photo in the midst of things, as I wanted Dave to see how much she loved him and had been helping out despite her own challenges.
Another beautiful moment was after her surgery when I went in to see her to take her home and she immediately licked my hand to greet me. She is not a licker like Cosmo, as this is a new expression of affection for her of recent, so it was quite touching. Again, I knew she was thanking me for helping to ease her physical pains with the surgery and also sharing her love and happiness to see me.
I mentioned in the video that my friend Christopher, who had joined on my sacred journey to Peru last March for the Equinox, was supportive through the process…synchronously Joy had chosen to transition in Bozeman, Montana where he just so happened to live and so there was divine alignment in his being there for me, as I had been there for him in Peru, which was incredibly beautiful.
Not only was I able to stay at his house, since I had to drive an hour and 45 minutes to get her to the ER there, but he was with me when I received the news, drove me back to say goodbye to her physical body and make arrangements for her ashes, gave me a moss agate healing pendant gift that has been supportive through the process, and then continued to provide his loving friendship and connection during our days in Bozeman, which included an epic hike in honor of Joy and to send out energy to the collective through a crystal grid (more on that in an upcoming post).
I will never forget the last day I had with Joy where I stayed home with her and basically laid on the floor next to her for hours snuggling and petting her, trying to syringe feed, hydrate, and give her meds so she didn’t have pain, and playing music to her while I sang from my heart. I left her for only about 45 minutes to an hour to take a walk on the lake where we were staying, check in on Janet’s dog, Daisy, stay grounded and balanced, and to do a sound channeling, which I shared already called – Preparing the Way.
Music, sound, and singing seemed to be the theme for our last day together, as that continued on the long car ride to the ER, and has been a connective thread to our relationship over all of the years she’s been with me.
I picked up Joy’s ashes when we officially landed in Bozeman, this past Sunday and it was an emotional release again when I brought her ashes to Dave waiting in the car.
He had not been there, as we were apart when she passed, so it was emotionally unleashing for him and we shared some tears and I found myself comforting him, rather than needing the comfort myself due to my integrating the processes that have been leading up to this unfolding.
Synchronously, Joy’s doctor texted me right after I picked up her ashes. He’d called me the night of her passing and now was checking in on me and how I was doing and how Cosmo was with everything, as we had discussed him as well in our hours of talking.
He had even offered help and consulting for Cosmo if ever I needed it. He definitely was going way beyond the call of any duty, as he is truly an angel. He wanted me to continue to keep him posted about Cosmo and told me he thought I was a special soul and beyond any doctor client thing, if ever I was back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, he would love to meet and connect again, and give me another hug in person. ❤
Just a couple of days before receiving Joy’s ashes we spent an evening having refreshments on Yellowstone River, reminiscing about Joy and reviewing all of her life over sweet and funny photos and videos I have stored on my phone – the only photos I keep on my cell phone are nearly 500 photos of Joy and Cosmo. 🙂
It has definitely been a celebration and honoring of both her life and death, but mostly just about her eternally beautiful, joyous, sweet, and magnanimous soul.
I mentioned in a previous post about the special bottle pendants I had the foresight of getting to house some of the ashes of all three of my bunnies that I would keep – the rest to spread on the Earth where I felt led. Yesterday, on the day I made this video while Cosmo was in surgery, I also transferred Joy’s ashes to her bottle.
I am guided that I will be spreading the rest of both Nestor’s and Joy’s ashes somewhere. The place for Nestor is known and perhaps Joy will be with her, or somewhere else maybe in Montana since she chose this state and I’ve felt Montana was important for a while, not knowing why. I have spread Nestor’s ashes in many sacred places across the globe, but feel the journey is complete and all will come to rest somewhere shortly. The same with Joy’s.
It is time for them to both fully be released.
Joy’s passing to the otherworld is definitely the end of an era in my life and the beginning of a new one.
Here is the sweet way that Joy’s ashes were presented to me in a little flower tin marked “Joy Marie” inside a velvet bag with a card that has wildflower blooms inside of a heart to plant in her honor and quotes about the Rainbow Bridge, along with these:
…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~Khalil Gibran
Grief never ends…but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of LOVE ❤
I am grateful to have known, cherished, and been present with the depth of love and my love for Joy before separation. Separation simply reiterates its magnitude I will never lose feeling of.
I have experienced the passages of grief, coming to honor and embrace its beauty and significance and I share my vulnerability through those passages, as my testament of that love and trust continuously expanding.
A brief note to share that my precious little Joy is going through a challenging hurdle right now after major surgery just yesterday, leaving her in a critical and volatile condition that is in need of my full attention. The silence and hold on projects, including Magick Stones, is because of this. It’s been a Divinely orchestrated alignment of unfoldings however, which I’ll share more of when I can, but for now I’m seeing her in her wholeness and grace, as she navigates her personal journey, with me by her side fully supporting what ever she chooses.
Wishing everyone a powerfully transformative and enlightening Solstice and Full Moon in Sagittarius, as you embrace more revealing truths and a new way of being. I know it will be a potently alchemical and illuminating one for us here on the Magick Bus for sure.
While we’ve been exploring, creating, and living life where life finds us, my focus has also been on the little ones and ensuring their lives are as rich as ours. Joy and Cosmo are in their golden years at 10 and 12 years old – equivalent to being 100 and 120 in our years – so they have special needs and have recently each had health challenges that simply mean a weaving in of reflective care has been necessary to become a natural part of our lives like everything else.
I shared about Cosmo recently having gone through allergies that turned into pneumonia and how we got him back to balance again. He continues to do well, and I continue to do my best to keep his allergies at bay, which has been successful. He continues to need me more and more, but he’s happy, spirited, loving as ever, and a healthy little ancient one.
I was just commenting recently on how his fur has evolved since his being with us for nearly a year and a half. When he first came to us his fur was much more coarse and, of course, dirty and matted. He now has beautiful velvety fur nearly matching Joy’s and even his back end he lays on is so clean in comparison and I’ve learned to manage his cycles of matting to keep him looking beautiful. It’s amazing what good care, diet, and nurturing love can do.
And the same has been true with Joy and her recent challenge, in how the right care can make all the difference.
I mentioned in a previous post that she had a health issue come up right after I got a handle on Cosmo’s and he was balanced out again.
I thought I’d share more in detail about that, as I’m always wanting to help others out there with rabbits in understanding and caring for their little ones, as best as possible, through the things that I experience with my rabbits and that I learn. Plus, I like to share how our animal companions reflect so much for our own journeys.
So, I’d noticed Joy had started being more silent…that may sound funny since rabbits don’t make noise, but that doesn’t mean they don’t communicate in their own way. And she had been more internal, spending time off by herself, and just huddled, although was still eating and acting normal in other ways when not off on her own.
That immediately put me on alert to observe and keep an eye on her, as she is an extremely sensitive one and she also tends to process a lot.
Since that has been the case with her, in terms of needing her own space and time and going through things energetically, I allow her that space and don’t just jump on taking her to a vet just because she needs time to herself. As long as she eats and eliminates, I’m not on major alert, although energetically support what she’s going through best that I can.
Sometimes she, or we all, just need a little quiet time to work through things.
But when I started noticing her having difficulty eating…moving food around in her mouth, rolling it from one side to another, and spitting some out, half chewed…I knew something was up.
And since rabbits can get severe issues with their teeth – since they constantly are growing and can grow the wrong way (up or down into the jaw), can grow points and sharpness if not properly gnawed down through their hay eating, and can develop infections, and abscesses that then affect everything else, especially their delicate digestive systems and GI tracts…this was a red alert for me.
If there was a teeth issue, she’d potentially need dental surgery. And putting a rabbit, let alone an elderly rabbit, under is always sketchy.
So, I watched this for a day and she was able to eat a little, was still eliminating, but since she couldn’t get all of her food in, I got her on her critical care food right away – something to keep on hand if you’re a rabbit guardian, as it provides all the needed nutrients, but is a mixture that looks like ground flax that you combine with water into an apple sauce texture so that they can still eat easily.
We followed the instruction on the back in terms of amount per weight to provide, but later found out we could have given her even more.
And I started calling around to find a rabbit vet in the area.
This took place while we were in Colorado Springs on a Thursday…we were leaving to Golden on Sunday. It also happened to be right before Memorial Day.
So you can imagine I had quite the challenge getting her an appointment. I called about 15 places…half in Colorado Springs, a quarter in Golden, and the rest some ER places.
Every single place was booked until later the next week or had no rabbit doctors on duty at all. I was sent from one place to another each time I called.
In the end, I got an appointment for the following Wednesday in Golden and in the meantime just focused on managing any pain she had with Reiki, pumped her with Echinacea, and fed her the critical care food to see her through. I monitored that she was eating and eliminating, as if any of that stopped, I would have taken her to any ER or vet, regardless of having a rabbit doctor or not, as that would be a dangerous condition that couldn’t wait.
I tried to stay as positive as possible and not fall into any worry spiral that wouldn’t be supportive for her. This may be challenging in times like these, but staying as balanced as possible is the best thing we can do since our animal companions will take on exactly what we’re feeling.
I gave her my crystal rabbit and tortoise statue that are connected with Nestor and Gaia, to provide her tangible support from her dear friends so that she could feel them close while they were helping her energetically from afar.
It’s tough when you are sitting there waiting and feel somewhat helpless, knowing your loved one is going through pain. But it’s a test of having peace within chaos, as we can create different realities with the power of our centeredness.
I was seeing her start to lose her balance and fall a lot, indicating an infection, as well as frantic for food, despite my feeding her the critical care. I noticed her losing weight, but she still was eating and eliminating and still actively doing things like engaging with me and Cosmo and cleaning herself.
Then we left Colorado Springs and got to Golden. I started to see her improve. Her balance returned and she was able to eat her pellets and some veggies again, alongside her critical care.
I made a connection to the much higher than normal radiation in that area that had also affected sensitive mom, feeling much more drained while integrating that energy, as a transmutational process.
Joy is the ultra energy sensitive one and immediately picks up on energies, as well as tries to work with them with all of the powerful gifts she has for the greater good. But like Nestor, her fragile body isn’t always realized since her energy is so big and boundless, and so it doesn’t always support the things her soul are committed to doing.
So either the radiation was the trigger to the challenge, or she had a challenge that the radiation intensified, as her symptoms were also those of one affected by this.
Anyway, we finally made it to her appointment day, thanks to a lot of Reiki support also from a few friends that were sending her some at the same time, and keeping her eating and staying focused on the positive.
Long story short, we met with the female doctor who was very knowledgeable, once again, and we received her prognosis.
She was able to examine her thoroughly, which she remarked on being rare, but Joy allowed her to fully explore her mouth like no other rabbit she’d examined. This identified no issues there.
She said her teeth were healthy and beautiful, without points, and the two potential issues of either growing up or down into the gums was not apparent in the easy ways to determine these.
Her heart sounded great, her eyes although blind in one and cataracts in the other were healthy, and nothing else apparent.
But she felt that since I mentioned her losing her balance, that indicated likely an ear infection, which would also cause nausea. In her case, not an outer infection, since the outer ear looked healthy, but rather an inner one.
This can’t be seen except maybe with a high power xray – not recommended for her age since she’d have to be put under for it and doesn’t always show up regardless – and so she felt we should treat the inner ear infection since that was safe and either way would take care of that, and in the interim we decided on a thorough blood testing to run two panels and check on everything including her organs.
In the meantime, we also gave her subcutaneous fluids for her dehydration due to the extreme weight loss, bringing her to only 3 pounds.
That was the sad part, as that nearly week of waiting and not knowing we could give her more critical care, plus her not able to eat other things until the last two days that her ability to do so returned, got her way down in weight.
No doctor would provide info over the phone when I called during our waiting, since they didn’t know her status and that was understandable since they could be liable for misdiagnosing, however also frustrating since there was no outside help.
Makes one turn within and call upon their own resources, which is always a powerful thing.
I was sent home with pain meds for her – the same Cosmo is on – and medication for her infection while we waited on the tests.
This now put us on huge regimes for both bunnies between each of their special needs and regular and special feedings, while I worked on trying to fatten Joy up.
And so, I am basically running a bunny nursing home these days with all that my dear ones are in need of in their older age.
This last vet we visited said she usually tells people that rabbits live until about 8 years old (only because they require specific care and attention that isn’t common out there), so at 10 and 12, she said mine are like 100 and 120 years old.
Ancient ones indeed, but ultimately these two are tough ones and although there are challenges that call for my time and energy, it’s a gift to be able to live out their golden years with them and support them with their paths. I love them with ALL of me.
We were supposed to hear on the blood tests the next day, but somehow Joy’s blood had gotten lost and hidden on a shelf.
The doctor did call once or twice each day to check on Joy, but it wasn’t until he third day that we received the results.
The doctor was not happy at what had happened so not only did she give them a piece of her mind, but gave me a $100 credit back for the mix up, which was unexpected, but very kind of her.
What we learned was twofold.
The first panel indicated things connected to dehydration so that was normal and we had addressed already.
The second panel showed a bit low white and red blood cell counts, which indicated one of two things.
The doctor is focusing on the one which would be association with infection.
The other one could possibly indicate cancer.
She’s not going there nor am I since she’s eating and doing better.
Plus, to put energy and focus there would be as toxic as cancer itself and create a reality that may not otherwise be there or would not support a spontaneous healing if in fact it was this, because we could be feeding it rather than simply seeing her in her wholeness.
So we treat the infection and watch her. If she stops eating or losing more weight we need to look further.
I’m happy to say she continues to eat well and doing all the normal things we’d want her to do.
The only challenge right now is getting her back on her hay, which is good for her teeth and digestion – the only thing rabbits really need in their diet, as the rest is like icing on the cake or yummy indulgences.
Joy has become addicted to her critical care food, which isn’t bad since it has everything nutrient-wise she needs, but to return her back to her regular diet would be good.
She’s eating her pellets, greens, and berries too and no more balance issues present.
So I continue to try and although the doctor said I could cut back on some of her critical care feedings, I also don’t want to starve her when she is still underweight. I tried for a couple of days, but she refused and so I find it more important that she is strong and perhaps will have to find other things for her to chew on if she decides critical care food is the new regime.
But this experience has revealed other things and may have had multiple purposes.
I’ve noticed Joy increasingly opening and being more vulnerable. She has learned from Cosmo about licks of appreciation and messaging. So she gives me tiny licks now and then, which is something new for her and a sweet reflection of her affection.
She continues to lean into Cosmo more, opening her heart so vulnerably to him and showing how much she does really need and enjoy the comfort of his love, which is so heart warming. I often find her not only energetically leaning into him, but physically she exhibits this by letting her weight fall into him, her head hidden in his fur, and simply just wanting to be as close as physically and energetically possible.
All of this is such beautiful expansion for her and learning to feel safe by exposing herself in this way and opening the walls of fear around her heart to letting someone in.
Something mom has learned too, and along with her.
And I also feel this experience has been partly a manifestation of her wanting and needing more nurturing, or at least voicing to me that she’s ready for more again. Whereas she’s always been self sufficient and not wanting to burden me (at least that’s how she would have seen it), she’s asking for help and she’s liking what she sees Cosmo receive with the extra physical attention due to his needs. So I feel she’s wanting some of the same.
That also reflects to me her opening to her own needs of love and self love, rather than just always being of service. Again, great reflections of the same mom has and is going through.
They both continue to keep me focused in the moment and on what’s truly important and of value in life, as those precious moments of caring for them, although can physically ask a lot of me, are true streams of giving and receiving out of pure unconditional love.
They have also taught and continue to teach me so much about rabbits and now to include elderly and special needs care, which may prove as training for the potential vision I have with this in a possible future to come.
They also continue to reflect all of the important things my soul desires to learn, and mirror my personal processes, as well as play out potential realities to spare me of the same, by my learning through their living it out for me so that I can consciously embrace the message. That’s how connected and heart bonded we are.
They continue to help me understand deeper levels and access the information for my writing, as my cocreators and partners in that dance.
And in the times each day where they are snuggled together and I place my head in the middle of them with hands and arms around them, we realize the power of love through the trinity of alchemy we bring together through our hearts.
But it is the looks of complete bliss on their faces, the way these two fragile, but powerful beings lean into me and each other, and the simple tender licks they give and reflect back during our group huddle, that makes me feel invincible, eternally and endlessly flowing in the power of love.