Today’s Full Flower Moon in Sagittarius speaks to abundance, blossoming, expanding, exploring the new, and being free. As Earth’s fertile soil springs forth in flowers and welcomes the planting of new seeds, so too can you plant new intentions in your garden of life that speak of your deepest dreams and heart’s joys. Responsible action aligned in heart, leads to renewal. The last two days here spoke to me of these fertile and shifting life cycles, as we ended a couple weeks of thunder and rainstorms with Summery weather, saw the reappearance of a dear friend, laid to peace a sweet soul, and I reached the half way mark of reworking my book, which looks to be in line for completion this month, as I felt.
The Sun’s rays are so vital to life and for me, to have sunshine is key for my own vibrancy. I’m much like a snake or lizard, who thrives off time in the Sun and feels more alive when it’s energy touches my skin. I guess I also “shed” skin just as much as they do too with all my changes. 😉 So I do make a point to relax and read a book while soaking in rays when I can, as well as being out getting natural exercise with Nature, as vitamin D does the body good and for me, a lot more than others is needed.
Today I plan to harvest my Garden Tower, get some Nature time, and write, but I’m feeling a greater sense of joy and peace from Sunday’s sighting of what I feel was momma bunny.
After thinking a lot about her and tuning in, wanting a sign if she was around and okay as I was feeling sad, we pulled up to the house that day and there on the front lawn was my answer. She hung out for a bit then took off under the trees.
I then saw baby in the side yard munching away on the grass and wild sage, and he scurried under the gate to join out front by the trees. I’ve only ever seen mom and baby here, so unless this is another elder family member, my instincts say it’s momma. We were far from her, but it felt like her especially given my asking for a sign. Yay! I thought you might want an update too. I’ll be keeping an eye out to get a closer look for confirmation, as I know her eyes and face well. Seems she is teaching baby the ways of being on his own more and entrusts Astrid and I to also watch over him while she’s away and if she may go away one day. We are one big happy bunny family!
And daily now are sightings of baby just frolicking in our yard. It is the perfect sanctuary for him and bunnies for sure, as it’s safe and there is so much for them to indulge on. This is definitely becoming a more and more magickal spot by the day.
Then yesterday was bitter and sweet, as Memorial Day saw me creating a memorial.
In the morning, as I was checking out my Garden Tower, I noticed a beautiful little bird laying on one of the pavers keeping the netting in place. Poor baby must have hit a window perhaps, but it was interesting to find this sweetie right there waiting for me and its symbolism speaks to many things.
I always seem to find animals, alive, injured, or moved on, feathers, bones, etc., or perhaps they find me. I feel I am here to create sacredness around their transitions, to bring peace, and be a bridge for them. And that’s what I did yesterday for this sweetheart.
I normally wouldn’t show a photo of this, but this dear one was so lovely and still so full of life, as I held him or her in my hand and nuzzled it’s sweet feathers and breast with my fingers. There’s something about its energy that moves me so much – perhaps to remind us of singing our song and living life fully EVERY single moment.
It seemed like it had happened not long before my discovery, and so I honored the little one and created a special spot to memorialize his or her life right next to one of my barrel pots of Foxgloves, Delphinums, and Salvias just outside my office door.
I want this to be a sacred place where all creatures great and small feel to be a sanctuary and honoring of their lives and a place they can feel to come and we can all share in the magick.
Yesterday was also like the first Summer day here and continues today, with temperatures in the low 70’s. Everything is blossoming, especially the trees and bushes here.
We spent most of our day outdoors, including celebrating with friends, relaxing and enjoying the beauty of the now and the joys life has to offer.
We shared a short hike out back and then enjoyed great food and conversation.
We enjoyed outdoor grilling of my Hawaiian veggie skewers, some Sweet Earth burgers, Field Roast apple and sage sausages, rice slaw with sesame siracha dressing, rainbow potato salad made by one of our friends, chips and guacamole, “cheeze” with crackers and spinach naan appetizers, fresh raspberry and rhubarb pie made by our other friends from their garden, and topped things off with S’mores…all vegan and full of love and yum.
Life isn’t worth living to me unless we are enjoying it to the fullest with gratitude and the freedom to “BE”.
Wishing everyone a blossoming week.
The month of October is a big month for us for celebrations and honoring, including our anniversary, Dave’s birthday, Cosmo’s transition, when we moved into the Magick Bus and began our RV adventure leaving behind everything, when I sold my amazing Hunab Ku Toyota Highlander Hybrid that took me on many an adventure safely, a month of cherished friends’ birthdays and transitions, and our moving back to our home in Lake Tahoe. I’ll be sharing a bit more of some of these as the days go on, but today is a day I want to give some words to, as it marks a 9 year cycle for us together that closes a chapter on our lives and opens a new one.
Today is our anniversary of coming together and although we experienced years of mixed challenge that likely could have taken us a different direction many times, we find ourselves continuing together, stronger than ever.
I know that many fantasize and hope or intend for their version of ideal in a relationship….the movie screen romance….that state of constant bliss…..or some idea of “spiritual” perfection….Why? Because I’ve heard it from many, I see it in things people share online, and because I have been there.
But I’ve found that it is the relationships that take you through every nook and cranny of your heart and soul, to the depths of challenge and to the shadows of personal reflection at the core, which truly create richness, fulfillment, and solidity, individually and as a partnership.
You don’t have to live this “spiritual ideal” of a life to have and share a beautiful relationship. In fact, I know of many and see many “spiritual” people who move through more partners than the world of celebrities do. Nothing wrong with that, of course, as we do change and so change can constitute moving on when that becomes necessary to one’s personal growth and well being. And there is no one way relationships need to look or be and yet, it is curious to me in the stories I’ve heard and in my own years of experience with this, how spiritual ego can sometimes overlook the beauty and gift the challenges are reflecting that may in fact bring us closer to our relationship to ourselves and All That Is, if we are willing to go as far and as deep as the relationship is asking of us. Sometimes we stop before we get there, much as we give up on dreams or intentions we’ve been working on right when we needed to just go that extra mile and it would happen.
That’s not to say that every relationship is meant to last, nor should it, but each one is opportunity for utmost vulnerability and transparency so that we may journey to ever-greater personal integrity and grace of being.
Some connections can be past life or beyond intensified to help us to move through things, clear and heal soul patterns, or are there to simply recognize for what they are, but aren’t necessarily ones for the “now” to move forward with.
Some souls simply can’t meet us at that level of commitment and responsibility that it will take to get there, but there are many that can, will, and do rise to the occasion, if we are doing our work just as much as we desire them to do theirs. The key being, doing OUR work and not trying to change the other person or force them to do what we ourselves cannot. Walking the walk will produce the most authentic experiences of either them meeting us at that bridge, or making the choice that it’s just too much and not for them.
And this is where I’ve found myself in gratitude of this relationship I share with Dave. We’ve been at many crossroads during our times together and yet each time it asked of me/us to go deeper and further, we eventually did. It didn’t happen easily or overnight, especially in the beginning, as we both came together at times of huge personal transformation we met each other with, which yanked us hard in many directions and had us exploring everything to its depths individually and together.
What I found, however, is that when I was willing to look most vulnerably and responsibly at myself and walk the walk in every way, that was the ultimate game-changer.
I share this, as I feel it is important for us to understand that everything in life now asks of these things from us consistently across the board. If we want a particular “anything” then we must be willing to go to the depths of our core most honestly and with the greatest level of conscious responsibility we can muster up in every new moment.
I want to honor and celebrate what has been an incredible 9 year journey with Dave and it feels like we are at another precipice of possibility taking place right now.
We’ve been through The Tower, The Devil, The Hanged Man, The Death, The Fool cards….you name it and I feel as if The Star and The World cards are coming into being now. The last couple of years really shifted things into several octaves higher for sure when together we took leaps into the unknown of individual and shared journeys of the heart.
Next Friday, the 27th will celebrate Dave’s first breath on Earth, this go around, but it is every day and every timeless moment he’s cherished and celebrated.
Equally so is today, the 22nd, cherished and celebrated as the moment we decided in spirit upon changing our lives forever and ending the repetitive patterns we both had experienced. The moment somewhere in our heart and soul did a part of us know this would be our chance to go beyond….our chance to change everything….and our knowingness on a spirit level that if it wasn’t now and with this opportunity within each of us, it might never be. It wouldn’t be easy and it wouldn’t be bliss, but it would be possible depending upon how much our souls had had enough.
We’ve been through it all, the worst and the best, the challenge and the flow, yet we never gave up, embraced the mirror we reflected to each other to transmute within ourselves, didn’t listen to what others thought, and instead paved our own way through life and with each other – our efforts showering us with gifts in abundance.
But no other adventure has been grander than these last two years, as we jumped together into the great outdoors to discover the depths of ourselves and our bond by turning things inside out and upside down, revealing the root of love’s true power to create miracles.
Dave literally saved my life last year and believed and nurtured me to follow my dreams and step into the most empowered embodiment of my essence I have ever been.
I’ve loved watching him blossom and reveal more of who he really is….the deep thinker, the adventurer, the silly playful child, the lover of nature and protector of animals, the poet, the creative, the sensitive, the passionate, the intellectual, the generous giver, the tender, the strong, the one who has been able to help me grow the most by challenging me with everything I need and helping me to finally find that peaceful balance.
That’s what a true, loving partner is.
It is pretty amazing, but no wonder that we are celebrating this ending and beginning of a cycle with our new dream home coming into manifestation, which we closed on two days before October – bringing another thing into celebration for this month, as we also just began our remodeling in the last couple of weeks.
It’s an incredible journey for sure, and I know the best times are now and yet to come, as we have both individually and together, worked through the biggest hurdles of this lifetime and are now ready to embark on a completely new reset of creations and experiences that only hinge on the now and focus on a whole new and unknown future.
Here’s to making more exciting memories on the next adventure we’re embarking on.
I’m grateful for this day when we both decided to show up, stand up, rise to the occasion, and say no more, I’m ready to go the length and do what ever it takes, I’m ready to be all that I can be, I’m ready to create a new reality, and I’m in, all the way.
Well, bear magick and medicine was at it again. Just two days ago, four beautiful black bear showed up on my path, along with the abundant Kokanee salmon, during what was a short, but ever potent and rich experience. The last time bear had visited was near the end of Winter, when they were coming out of hibernation a bit early and now to see them preparing and fattening up for Winter, is definitely another full circle experience. Not to mention the timing for me/us that is also full circle, marking the ending and beginning of things. Paired together with the symbolism of salmon, I’m feeling the depth of these animal spirit guides’ reflections anchoring alongside the mirroring journey of my life.
It was a gorgeous late afternoon where we’d planned to meet up with our friends Bean and Happy at Taylor Creek, before heading to a dual purpose dinner party (welcoming our friends/guests Paul Shapiro, vice president of policy for The Humane Society of the United States and his girlfriend Toni Okamoto, founder of Plant Based on a Budget and author of The Super Easy Vegan Slow Cooker Cookbook to town and a going away party for Bean and Happy – boo!), so they could see the salmon before leaving Tahoe yesterday morning on their next adventure. It ended up being the perfect send-off for them, as well as the perfect celebration for us.
Our friends had arrived their well before us and were checking out all of the salmon, after doing the short Rainbow Trail there. Dave and I arrived about a 30-45 minutes after them and made our way down the trail too – my second short Nature walk in the last few days without crutches since having my boot, as the previous day my parents had visited to take me to lunch, followed by a walk along Zephyr Cove.
Everyone that passed me along the trail kept saying, “oh you’re so brave and hard-core,” to which I would just giggle not thinking I was doing anything extraordinary except getting out in nature, which seems natural to me!
I got lucky that because my boot slows me down, I came into the clearing just as mom and two cubs had also just arrived. Dave had gone ahead to find our friends and unfortunately missed them. I had just enough time to watch them stand up and look at me, then scurry off behind mom in the trees.
If you look closely in this photo you will see the two cubs at middle, center looking at me from the other side of the creek’s bank.
And here’s mom and mom and a cub to the left in the trees.
I was then joined by Bean, who so sweetly had come after me to see how I was getting along in case I needed help, but sadly the mom and cubs were gone, so we moved on ahead and joined Dave and Happy, checking out the salmon. As we continued further a solo black bear appeared and we spent quite some time watching him fish for salmon.
I was so happy another one showed up, as I had hoped Bean and Happy would get to see a bear before they left, and so they did! Perfect! And wonderful energy with it all for them, as they are branching out into new directions to explore.
All of this took place only several yards away, as we watched from the bridges and platforms, which made it even more special to view them so close in their natural setting.
This guy turned to me and asked, “can you run?” as he looked at my boot. I said, “no.” He replied, “then we’re safe” and laughed. LOL!
Well, I never felt threatened anyway, but did get a giggle out of that. Of course Happy turned to me and said, “I wouldn’t leave you behind if that happened.” Aw!!
Anyway, they were beautiful cinnamon coated bears and truly magnificent to watch. But so were the salmon. Just tons of them, as well as large crawfish, beautiful ducks, and gorgeous Autumn landscapes and lighting that truly made everything magickal.
These are some photos that Bean took with her better camera of the stunning salmon.
I marveled at the symbolism of it all and how perfectly reflective it was for me, once again.
Salmon symbolize returning home to regenerate, overcoming obstacles, end of a cycle and a new start, drive despite challenges to return to their origins (home), creativity, growth, maturity, abundance, enthusiasm, remaining in harmony with Nature’s rhythms rather than fighting them (flowing with the currents beneath the surface), not being deterred by seeming impossible odds, having a strong drive to reproduce in order to feel peace (however this is not just about children, but about anything creative – this runs the gamut from artful masterpieces to the next great novel, one source says), having very strong desires/passions and ability to tirelessly manifest them, enjoying life and sharing those richness with others (Native Americans see them as symbols of wealth, abundance, and providence), and remaining innocent, childlike, light-hearted, and open always. Salmon have shown up now a few times since our Magick Bus RV adventure, which has been a beautiful reflection each time and timely now once again.
Bears symbolize fearless ancient medicine, empowered Sacred Feminine energy and that Divine Mother embodiment, strength, transformative energy, and courage we have within to call upon in order to take action without fear, while remaining grounded and in rhythm with Earth and Nature’s cycles. They remind us of observing ourselves in every moment and self-reflecting, knowing the timing on things and aligning with the “when” and “where” to unfold divinely, teaching us laws of respect and boundaries and strengthening and voicing our own, as well as honoring those around us, and reflecting natural leader abilities within that invite relaxing into and bringing forth in innocent, creatively passionate ways that share the vitality of our own unique self-expression. Bears have been very potent for me also since the Magick Bus, and become near and dear. The last time they showed up, as mentioned, was linked with coming out of hibernation for me with creative rebirthing, which was exactly what happened on every level of my life and what Dave and I have been creating this year, as well as what I have (especially with my book). However, now I’m seeing the bears in this heightened state of nourishing and fattening up for the Winter, which feels perfect to both my book and personal life situations being nurtured, where there will be a turning within to the home and finalizing my book with editing and preparations to take it to the next step during Autumn and Winter.
This brings me to my exciting news that reflects all of this.
Yesterday was a big day for us, as we became the official, very happy owners of our new dream home! All culminating the morning after our bear and salmon encounters on a gorgeous day, as you can see here of a quick snap I took on our drive through Gardnerville to handle business. A morning that included five geese, a hawk, and sweet jackalopes (bunny reindeer) that were reflecting the support at every uncanny turn.
I’ll just share briefly that we’ve spent the last year here in Tahoe really deepening into our desires and dreams, working on building foundations and roots to support all of that, and listening to guidance on everything, which included lots of personal projects we accomplished in rapid speed, and big decisions around anchoring versus a plethora of other ideas that hugely shifted trajectories and timelines.
The expansive, nurturing, and inspiring space we’ve been living in, really helped solidify and clarify everything for us, and with our lives taking big turns, so too did we.
With both our little family growing (to include the magickal Astrid now alongside our kitty babies, Boojum and Sweet Pea), and the dreams we’ve had feeling the need to blossom and not wait anymore on, as well as being met with everything we explored and discovered here about ourselves that Lake Tahoe has, and more so now reflects for us, we felt a new and mirroring home space was calling that would nurture and nourish all of this.
And through countless magickal and synchronous unfoldings (way too much to share), everything aligned us with the perfect home base for all of this.
Our lake view condo will be taken over by a blossoming and amazing, young couple here shortly, as we prepare for our move to our new home on USFS land (United States Forest Service), where we will officially live in the enchanted forest full of Faeries and animals galore! Much magick awaits and will be created, as so many plans are in the works for this space.
To say I’m excited is an understatement, and although we have a very busy 4 months or so ahead of us before we’re fully settled, it is all SO worth it. A dream come true and perfect timing and unfolding in every way.
So yes, I’m feeling that “return to home to regenerate” and ultimately to my origins (both as a Cosmic AND Earth being, but also to Tahoe where everything started for us and where I received message to be long ago – and followed – without ever having been here or knowing what it was like), as well as an ending and beginning that salmon medicine brings, not to mention a definite surge in creativity, growth, harmony, and maturity in our lives all coming from creating things that would seem impossible (something that will continue being a theme for sure). For everything coming, I definitely feel that a strong foundation now is necessary. Whereas before, the need to move energy literally had to take hold in full embodiment of everything in our lives to create the huge momentum and leaps needed. Now things can settle in one regard, as the tree and its roots that will be the supportive foundation for all of the branches I/we will be growing.
And definitely, we’ve/I’ve been listening to those inner rhythms in flow with Nature, to align with everything and knowing just when to make moves and wait patiently, and are setting up our creative cocoons and hibernation caves (home) with everything nurturing and nourishing to our souls so we can continue in the cycle of rebirthing and recreating over and over with all that is in motion in our creative lives, like bear so beautifully shares with her medicine. Those two cubs that stood up and looked right at me, felt so reflective of my deep childlike innocence really coming forth now more than ever, and the playful vitality I feel to create, simply because it is peace for me to do so.
And speaking of childlike innocence, yesterday evening I showed up at an event sporting my bunny dress and magickal crowned rabbit necklace to represent the rabbits I love and adore.
Last night we had the opportunity to attend the sold out TedX event in South Lake Tahoe at Lake Tahoe Community College. Last year’s sold out inaugural event of 100, more than doubled to 250 this year with an incredible lineup of locally-known and world-renowned speakers from here and around the country. The event had food and drinks available during the reception and intermission including vegan wraps! and an after party at The Loft.
Our friend Paul Shapiro (mentioned above) was one of them who took the stage discussing the revolutionary “Clean Meat” – also the inspired topic of his forthcoming book.
There were many amazing speakers sharing their insights – all leaders in their own fields. You can check out the visionaries here:
My favorite speaker was photographer, director and Zephyr Cove resident Dewitt Jones who has photographed stories around the world for 20 years with National Geographic, published nine books, and directed two Academy Award-nominated documentaries. He moved me to tears, being a man of my own heart, with his talk that got him the only standing ovation. He so beautifully expressed the perspective of my own life and I felt the deep love in that reflection and mirroring, once again experiencing that full circle and collective connection.
Dewitt’s talk explored a mindset that he learned while working for National Geographic, and being out in nature, of celebrating what’s right with the world and not just focusing on what’s wrong with life, although not denying or ignoring any aspect of it, but rather seeing from a different perspective and the wholeness inherent in it all.
I was compelled to thank him after and he gifted me one of his bracelets.
It’s that message I want to leave you with, which is one of the foundations of my own life.
Celebrate What’s Right With the World and your life will be enriched.
I can’t tell you enough how much I’m witnessing both in my own life and that of others, an incredible, consistent, and rapid amount of change taking place in really big, sometimes surprising, yet always supportive ways. There’s been an increase in the last few weeks of full-circle experiences, messages of re-strengthening boundaries, a need to continually reassess and realign ourselves with what’s truest and most authentic to our spirit and heart right now, the power of choice with committed action to back it up, wake-up calls in terms of health and life shifts, and experiences paralleling timelines, but on a whole other plane and frequency with the closing and opening of doors rapidly sliding into manifestation.
I keep hearing from many about these reflections and have been witnessing a wide gamut of contrasting experiences from people including death, suicide, marriage, endings and beginnings of relationships, births, pregnancy, career changes, reassessing life paths, health crisis, what was going forward suddenly and abruptly shifting gears, but also immediately opening to a better potential.
It all reiterates to me the power of choice and action that supports it without worrying over the fine details and whether it’s “the” answer, but merely following what you’re guided to follow in the moment and trusting All That Is/Universe/God/Goddess/Source to handle things from there.
Declaration of intent and willingness to move forward in all ways will manifest doors opening and closing for us that will mirror the paths most aligned with us following our truth right here and now. So releasing the worry over whether something is it right or wrong just simply can be surrendered, as we’ll know immediately where things are leading once we make a choice by what manifests as direct result.
We seem to get too caught up in decisions and tormented by being “wrong” when there isn’t a wrong…simply a trust that whatever you do, you’ll be supported in the highest way. So we just need to believe that and be open to how things manifest, as result of our movement forward, and its always being for our highest good.
Anyway, transformational energies are swirling around big time and this beautiful Moth (pictured above) that Lynne and I connected with on a hike at Fallen Leaf Lake while she was here, really embodied so much of this frequency, not to mention embodied the peaceful trust I speak of.
She was so serene on a pebble at water’s edge, with waves rolling in, both of us around her, a man and his dog with us whom we came across and were talking with, and even us nudging her pebble she sat on, while talking to her. She was anchored and peaceful, but also so royal in her presence, undisturbed or thrown off her own inner balance and harmony by anything around her.
If you look closely at her, especially her head and body, you might see what I do….how much she reflects her Faery Queen essence in this Moth form.
Powerfully potent energy that just mesmerizes me when I look at this, which is why I am sharing this photo, captured by Lynne and courtesy of her for this post. If you remember, I shared my own magical photo of her from the other angle in another post, but this one really captures her essence and otherworldly energy.
All of this also is in line with a conversation I was having with Laura yesterday about living a magickal life and what that entails, which we both reflected on in our own lives and those around us.
We both agree that to live a life of daily magickal experiences this entails a great deal of discipline.
That seems counter-intuitive, but in fact goes hand-in-hand.
I can’t tell you how many people I know and have seen, who energetically and physically crash while trying so hard to “be” something, rather than simply “being” because they think that will make the magick happen. Or who wait for the magick to start happening before they will commit to their authenticity and heart fully.
I’ve also been seeing people go through more periods of heavy-duty flus, colds, or energetic illness suddenly than they ever have (or perhaps hadn’t had) in very short periods because of extremes and perhaps still “trying” to fit a certain template of “being” they think they need to do in order to live magickally, when in fact magick is simply “being” in the discipline of authenticity and harmonious rhythms flowing in and out.
The key to life, at least that I’ve discovered, is balance so that you don’t have those highs and lows and ups and downs in dramatic ways and when you learn to discipline yourself in this way of being, a magickal life unfolds effortlessly. This also entails saying “enough is enough” to old patterns and cycles, so that you can continue to flow on your own spiral of life.
I feel that this stems from your committed responsibility to being you/the Source of you for the highest good of all concerned.
I went through the crashes myself. I went through the huge pendulum swings of extremes. I always considered myself an extremist in fact….and yet that wasn’t actually my “nature.”
My and our nature is harmony and a return to natural harmony is our spiraling journey I feel.
We really are at a point where everything instantly manifests and there are tighter and tighter reins on your luxury to deny or hide things from yourself, as well as assessing if you’re outweighed in any given area – big ones that come to mind is over-giving or over-receiving.
And in the spirit of this constantly shifting energy and my own need to keep honoring my own authenticity, boundaries, and most harmonious state of “being,” I have had to again reassess some things recently and even had a big flow-in of opportunities to help me feel that out with.
So as example, I’m sharing some of those changes that entail my connection with others, but I am experiencing quite a few in other more personal realms as well.
As mentioned, I’ve recently experienced a bunch of full-circle things that herald to me a big leap about to take place, but also reflected how things can come back around at another frequency/whole other plane of experience when you do the work.
But also, as I’ve mentioned in past posts, when you’re in process of, or about to make huge changes, a lot of things will flow into your experience that could confuse you at first because they may be the very things you’re shifting out of.
This is simply part of that transformational process and an opportunity to revisit your relationship to the things with greater peace and anchoring and without “charge” or “trigger”…like that cleansing that stirs things up for us to simply embrace as natural cycles.
So, also recently, I’ve received requests for my past services circle round in another abundance all at once and a ton of messages, which provided me opportunity again to anchor deeply in my authentic knowing of where I am now and what to say “no” to very clearly and with loving gratitude.
I’ve turned away potential new clients, credited back purchases of art prints, and said “no” to a bunch of requests, potential opportunities, and services, as simply it was most aligned with the new energy I’m focusing on and committing to, to do so.
And I did so with utmost gratitude and reflection on the beauty of it all and the honor that it was.
Sometimes things like this confuse people that maybe they’ve made the wrong choice to go in the direction they have, could possibly play on desperation energy (really big one I feel circulating these days) in reflection to still being in process of believing in their abundance or strengthening their belief in the new, or simply could feel like a message to split their energies between old and new.
While none of that would be wrong to do, as all things will lead us to exactly where we are to be in the timing that is right for each of us, and yet these could also create that straddling of two worlds, continually feeling confused and unclear, drain you of your energy because of not supporting fully what is speaking most authentically to your heart, or block other opportunities from coming in.
After all, if we truly believe we are abundant beings, then we ARE abundant beings. There isn’t only one opportunity that will arrive and by saying “no” that’s it. You have the ability to manifest limitless opportunities and each one will provide a different level of potential.
There isn’t just one way to do something for sure. Yet there are ways of choosing that can make you feel more in flow, clear, invigorated, and in alignment.
All that to say, “I hear and feel you.”
I’ve also had to continuously go through these processes in my own way over time as well.
And with discipline and practice, I’ve been able to move into a peaceful and easier flow that has enabled me to consistently experience balance now and harmony, whereas I mentioned, I used to experience extremes and then energetic crashes or physical manifestations of stress created by this feeling of being pulled in opposing directions, or of not owning who I am and claiming my authentic voice fully.
It is with doing so that I’ve come to be able to say I no longer experience stress, anxiety, worry, tormenting inner dialogue (to the point of thinking I’m crazy), fears around who I am and showing up as so, crashes, extremes, physical manifestations of being inwardly divided, relationships of all sorts that were doomed to go no where and reflect what I wasn’t honoring in myself, nor the need to monitor foods I eat other than remaining true to being 100% vegan to match my truth, and instead only draw in more of this harmony I experience.
It’s a drastic life change that others wouldn’t notice unless they really knew me “once upon a time” in all ways. I’m so grateful for all of it and what it’s all taught me, not to mention am grateful for the reflections that show up.
But I do have to mention that things have shifted even with recent offerings I’ve put out.
I had foresight to say when I did put them out there that I didn’t know how long I’d be offering them and they may be temporary. And now that has manifested.
This includes (at least at this time) my not taking on any more new Intuitive Energy Guidance/Coaching clients after I finish working with current clients already with me. I’ve so been enjoying the beautiful and so meaningful and timely way in which these soul contracts have come into being. I can’t say enough how I honor these people and the courage they have. I also am awed by the soul connections we share and I’m totally devoted to them with all of my heart.
I feel that my listening to guidance was aligned perfectly with these contracts with them, but that I am to revisit full commitment to honoring now one I have with myself and the collective with full devotion toward what I’ve put into motion.
This in part due to my need to put all that I have into my current project and something else soon entering my life.
I also will only make myself available to teach Reiki this Summer to the people I have already spoken to offering this to if they desire.
That means I’m back to no services offered, but all in order to be able to offer more later from the depths of my heart.
I’ll still be creating Magick Crystal Wands, as that feels in alignment with immediate soul-satisfaction and desire to create something tangible with my hands that balances the writing I’m involved with – it’s all about balance to me! But these are the only two things I’ll be engaged with.
I can’t thank everyone enough for your understanding. It’s truly meaningful to me how supportive you’ve been and how much love you’ve shared during my own transformational journey I’ve chosen to vulnerably be open about in order to support you into your own authentic choices.
Also, beginning this Sunday I will likely not be blogging for a while, or in very limited, short blogs because I will be focused on completing the first draft of my book before heading off to Australia on May 10th. I’ll feel that energy out, but my sense is I’ll need to withdraw there for the time-being.
I need to conserve my inspiration and creative writing for that project. So during that time I’ll only be sharing via Instagram/Facebook if you happen to be on those platforms, since they are quick ways to still stay in touch and share some daily inspiration and beauty with you, while creating that healthy balance for me as well.
Here’s to peaceful transformation for us all!
I love you!
I felt guided to recount my last days and what I experienced with my rabbit, Joy, through video share rather than writing a long account. It felt to be a more personal, transparent, and vulnerable way to do so, while also the way of honoring that felt most resonant. While I didn’t share every detail, it is still a long video, and is a way to express what has happened to all who have been asking, wondering, and have shared concern, a way to process more layers of my integration with it, and a way to be of assistance to others that are going through loss, as well as to help understand these natural and yet magickal cycles.
The video was shot in one succession of recount, however due to its size I was cut off during it and had to re-record immediately where I left off, multiple times. Due to that, there may be a couple of words where the videos are threaded together that are lost, but the general message should all be there and I did my best to pick back up and repeat where I left off.
I didn’t know how it would come through, nor prepared for it, so what ever was meant to I believe did.
Here is the video share from my heart:
There are a few things I wanted to add that are beautiful memories for me, which I’ll do so interspersed with some beautiful photo memories of Joy in her last days (which you’ll find at the end) and over time, here below.
I mention in the video that I knew this was coming for Joy, I just didn’t know the exact time until the day of her passing. That morning I knew she was leaving and said that to both Dave and Janet, who was still around at the time. I knew she wouldn’t make it through that day, but there were different scenarios that could play out and I was only concerned with the path of least pain for her and to honor her wishes, so going to any extent was necessary in my mind, which ended up being driving nearly 2 hours to create the alignments necessary.
But a few days before her having more issues and my taking her in for surgery, I had a dream. It was more involved than what I’ll share, but I don’t remember anything more than this.
In the dream she was a giant bunny, the same size as me. It was her, but there were also some elements of Nestor in her. I remember her taking her paws and back legs and wrapping them fully around me, and then me doing the same with my own arms and legs, leaving us in a giant embrace and snuggling one another like a big bear hug – my face immersed in her soft fur.
I felt her immense love in this human-sized hug and when I woke I knew she was wanting to let me know that she appreciated all of my efforts, that she knew I was doing all that I could, that she loved me so much, and for me to know she was preparing to leave.
So, things from there were not surprising and it was definitely no coincidence she chose a cosmic portal and full moon to bridge her journey to the beyond.
To demonstrate Joy’s ever-giving love and devotion to being of service, while she was ill, just before I was able to get her in to have surgery, I wanted to give Dave a Reiki healing attunement for things that he was going through and in the middle of the attunement, Joy hopped over and helped out. She went to his right foot and nosed him, sitting there flowing Reiki to him along with me until I was done. Something Nestor also used to do. I managed to capture a quick photo in the midst of things, as I wanted Dave to see how much she loved him and had been helping out despite her own challenges.
Another beautiful moment was after her surgery when I went in to see her to take her home and she immediately licked my hand to greet me. She is not a licker like Cosmo, as this is a new expression of affection for her of recent, so it was quite touching. Again, I knew she was thanking me for helping to ease her physical pains with the surgery and also sharing her love and happiness to see me.
I mentioned in the video that my friend Christopher, who had joined on my sacred journey to Peru last March for the Equinox, was supportive through the process…synchronously Joy had chosen to transition in Bozeman, Montana where he just so happened to live and so there was divine alignment in his being there for me, as I had been there for him in Peru, which was incredibly beautiful.
Not only was I able to stay at his house, since I had to drive an hour and 45 minutes to get her to the ER there, but he was with me when I received the news, drove me back to say goodbye to her physical body and make arrangements for her ashes, gave me a moss agate healing pendant gift that has been supportive through the process, and then continued to provide his loving friendship and connection during our days in Bozeman, which included an epic hike in honor of Joy and to send out energy to the collective through a crystal grid (more on that in an upcoming post).
I will never forget the last day I had with Joy where I stayed home with her and basically laid on the floor next to her for hours snuggling and petting her, trying to syringe feed, hydrate, and give her meds so she didn’t have pain, and playing music to her while I sang from my heart. I left her for only about 45 minutes to an hour to take a walk on the lake where we were staying, check in on Janet’s dog, Daisy, stay grounded and balanced, and to do a sound channeling, which I shared already called – Preparing the Way.
Music, sound, and singing seemed to be the theme for our last day together, as that continued on the long car ride to the ER, and has been a connective thread to our relationship over all of the years she’s been with me.
I picked up Joy’s ashes when we officially landed in Bozeman, this past Sunday and it was an emotional release again when I brought her ashes to Dave waiting in the car.
He had not been there, as we were apart when she passed, so it was emotionally unleashing for him and we shared some tears and I found myself comforting him, rather than needing the comfort myself due to my integrating the processes that have been leading up to this unfolding.
Synchronously, Joy’s doctor texted me right after I picked up her ashes. He’d called me the night of her passing and now was checking in on me and how I was doing and how Cosmo was with everything, as we had discussed him as well in our hours of talking.
He had even offered help and consulting for Cosmo if ever I needed it. He definitely was going way beyond the call of any duty, as he is truly an angel. He wanted me to continue to keep him posted about Cosmo and told me he thought I was a special soul and beyond any doctor client thing, if ever I was back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, he would love to meet and connect again, and give me another hug in person. ❤
Just a couple of days before receiving Joy’s ashes we spent an evening having refreshments on Yellowstone River, reminiscing about Joy and reviewing all of her life over sweet and funny photos and videos I have stored on my phone – the only photos I keep on my cell phone are nearly 500 photos of Joy and Cosmo. 🙂
It has definitely been a celebration and honoring of both her life and death, but mostly just about her eternally beautiful, joyous, sweet, and magnanimous soul.
I mentioned in a previous post about the special bottle pendants I had the foresight of getting to house some of the ashes of all three of my bunnies that I would keep – the rest to spread on the Earth where I felt led. Yesterday, on the day I made this video while Cosmo was in surgery, I also transferred Joy’s ashes to her bottle.
I am guided that I will be spreading the rest of both Nestor’s and Joy’s ashes somewhere. The place for Nestor is known and perhaps Joy will be with her, or somewhere else maybe in Montana since she chose this state and I’ve felt Montana was important for a while, not knowing why. I have spread Nestor’s ashes in many sacred places across the globe, but feel the journey is complete and all will come to rest somewhere shortly. The same with Joy’s.
It is time for them to both fully be released.
Joy’s passing to the otherworld is definitely the end of an era in my life and the beginning of a new one.
Here is the sweet way that Joy’s ashes were presented to me in a little flower tin marked “Joy Marie” inside a velvet bag with a card that has wildflower blooms inside of a heart to plant in her honor and quotes about the Rainbow Bridge, along with these:
…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~Khalil Gibran
Grief never ends…but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of LOVE ❤
I am grateful to have known, cherished, and been present with the depth of love and my love for Joy before separation. Separation simply reiterates its magnitude I will never lose feeling of.
I have experienced the passages of grief, coming to honor and embrace its beauty and significance and I share my vulnerability through those passages, as my testament of that love and trust continuously expanding.
Today being Cosmo’s 10th birthday, I couldn’t not share a blog post update, as I honor and love him so much and his sacred male energy he embodies. It’s amazing how much he mirrors me, right down to having a #3 life path like mom and although he’s in a #4 year starting today and I’m in a #1 year, his being 10 years old mirrors a new cycle and beginning along with mom yet again.
We just celebrated this morning with a turmeric filled raspberry as a birthday cake, of which Joy received her own raspberry to share in the yum.
This is his second birthday we’ve had the opportunity to celebrate with him and already nearing on one and a half years soon of his being a part of the family.
So many blessings he has brought since the first day of his arrival.
I’m grateful for all of the loving thoughts and healing energy that has been shared to help him through all of his physical challenges and the latest one, which is also the reason for this update.
Many of you have asked how he is and so I wanted to share the good news and relief.
I ended up taking him to another vet where we were in our new location of Montrose, as his sneezing hadn’t subsided. He’d finally shown signs of getting better, but then suddenly was having attacks of 30-40 sneezes at a time, which concerned me.
Again, I was so lucky to find a great doctor who knew rabbits and was so kind and took all the time in the world to help.
I’d spoken to the doctor at the previous vet who had given a few routes to go at this point, which the new doctor agreed with upon seeing him.
Cosmo was given a full exam and upon doing so the doctor shared that he looked and felt healthy in all ways. His breathing and heart all sounded good and he didn’t hear any congestion anymore, which the previous doctor had upon first taking him in when this all started. This indicated his pneumonia was gone.
A couple of things came through on examining him though, which weren’t surprises.
One of which was that he’s developing cataracts. I’d just in the last week started noticing his eye coloring shifting from dark black to a bluish white slightly when light hit at center.
Anyway, one eye had a whiter web like area, more than the other, but his eyes are healthy and he isn’t blind at this time. Blindness may be developing, which is just age taking form, so eventually he may go blind like Joy. For now, the doctor said his eye sight would be like if you threw white paint on a glass window.
We decided to take the least invasive approach to look further into any possibilities so that we felt better and that was to do some mild xrays rather than a culture through his nose and throat which he would need to be sedated for.
He showed the xrays to me and he couldn’t find anything in them indicating anything to be concerned about, which would be like white spots in the lungs, etc.
His organs all looked healthy and normal.
The only thing that did show up, which was the second thing that came up in his visit was the bad arthritis in his spine and shoulders, which we already knew he had, but it continues to develop and increase with age.
The doctor suggested adding a form of glucosamine blend he’s had good results with to his Metacam pain relief I give him to also help with inflammation, because it is likely very painful and will increase. I’d noticed his sensitivity along his spine and it again is due to age and his injury, where the bones in the spine split and get jagged, then the growth caps the ends, which fuses the bones. Hard to explain, but for anyone, let alone a fragile rabbit, it’s painful stuff.
But all of this is the normal aging process, but he’s a healthy aging bunny, just like Joy.
After all, they are doing quite well in terms of long lives where rabbits are concerned – him being 10 and Joy 12. The vets always tell me I must be doing something right since they don’t see that that much. 8 – 12 in optimal conditions is their life span, but that doesn’t happen much since rabbits require specific care and diligence. The doctor in Durango told me the longest living bunny he’d seen was 18….so anything is possible.
Anyway, the doctor didn’t feel the need for any concern at this time with the sneezing, as there isn’t indication of anything he can find and since his behavior hasn’t changed and his eating and eliminating is all good and hasn’t changed, then there’s no cause for alarm.
The rabbit’s digestion, GI tract, and eating is the most important aspect to their health.
So he’s thinking it could be that he developed allergies from sensitivities (I’d mentioned that I started to notice that when I put him in his hay to eat he would sneeze right away, then that continued to increase into big sneezing attacks at any time) and that there may have possibly been a defective batch of hay with mold, which happens.
Then, being sensitive, like mom, he was affected and could have developed a mild case of pneumonia from that with his immune system down and inflamed. That would indicate why his week of meds took care of the pneumonia and cleared his lungs, but that he is still sneezing and can get nasal. But he has no discharge from the eyes, nose, or ears, so none of the things like Pasteurella were affecting him.
So, he suggested I do a thorough cleaning of everything – bedding, litter box, get rid of the hay and start a new hay bag, give everything a big spring cleaning and see if it goes away, which could take a couple of weeks.
He said he could give me antibiotics if that makes me feel better, but he didn’t suggest it, as it isn’t the best to give them, and I agreed I’d rather not go that route and see if he just gets over it with the changes.
He hadn’t gotten worse, so that was good. And yet he hadn’t fully gotten better. It was the lingering that I didn’t want to chance since rabbits are so fragile and respiratory things can be fatal.
So I did the big cleaning and that has seemed to have hugely shifted things for him.
I have only heard a tiny sneeze here and there and one sneeze attack, but overall it’s continued to diminish and like the doctor said, it could take a couple of weeks.
Or, he may have developed an allergy in general to hay, which I will monitor, and then other protocol would need to be tried like moistening or steaming his hay a bit to get rid of the dryness. Hopefully that won’t be necessary, as right now he’s doing better, but if I don’t see the sneezing completely dissipate, I’ll definitely try a different brand of hay, then go to more drastic things like the steaming possibility.
Hay is the most important part of the rabbit’s diet, so it can’t be eliminated.
In the interim I had started him back up on his Echinacea and turmeric and adding in the stuff for his joints the doctor gave me. And of course lots of Reiki and love.
I’ll keep you posted on how things evolve.
I feel much better knowing that he got through the pneumonia and that he may just be sensitive like mom with allergies to odd things.
I’ll keep monitoring him and Joy, as I do. I may end up with two blind aging, sensitive bunnies and hopefully they just continue to age gracefully.
I’ve joked, but it’s true….it’s a full time bunny elderly home here. As I’ve mentioned before, it is a total commitment to caring for and making an animal companion part of your family.
What does that look like here?
Every other day changing all the floor bedding with two loads of laundry, litter box and water/goji changing daily, three different feedings a day, meds and holistic things twice a day for both, constant cleaning throughout the day and checking on them, moving Cosmo to his food and water throughout the day and feeding him his cecotropes, bathing and drying him once day, therapy for his legs, and 2-3 checks every night to help get Cosmo to his food, water and feed him his cecotropes.
I do it all with love and no regrets or complaining.
All I desire for both of them is just that…peace as they age normally without major challenges. I often intend and ask that when their time is here that they just fall asleep, but it is not up to us how things will evolve, as nature has its process and there is a natural cycle to all things, as well as purpose soulfully chosen.
That was very clear the day before I took Cosmo to the vet and we experienced both the most magickal time with rabbits out on our hike AND the most traumatizing.
It reiterated that as hard as we try, there just are things and reasons beyond our comprehension that simply are part of those cycles and while we may want to intervene, judge them, and have attachments to desired outcomes, there is divine perfection that will always take place despite all efforts otherwise.
Cosmo’s path is unknown and when and where that leads will never be expected, although can be supported.
Right now is all there is and the choice of how to perceive each moment with fight or unconditional compassion.
This was reflected in our experience that day where we saw the most rabbits ever.
They were not scared, just hanging out, running around playing, and exhibiting such life, joy, and vibrancy. There were even two at once, reminding me of Joy and Cosmo, that were jumping and playing together.
And then on our drive out of the park – Black Canyon of the Gunnison – the opposite of the spectrum took place.
I was looking at something in my lap at the time so I didn’t see anything until after, but our car suddenly swerved like crazy and when I looked up, we were nearly off the road. Apparently a rabbit had run out on the road and Dave tried his hardest to avoid it. I glanced in my rear view mirror of the passenger side and saw it laying in the road. I covered my eyes in tears and felt the pain of the impact, as if it were my own.
Dave drove back to see if there was anything we could do, but it was too late. I couldn’t bring myself to look, as I felt I’d seen it already within that intense feeling that came over me.
It was traumatizing, as I said, for both of us and we drove home in silence after I assured Dave it was not his fault…me with silent tears streaming down, sending the rabbit Reiki for peace and asking Nestor to see it home, while also understanding the mystery that is always divinely unfolding.
I reflected a long time on all of the meanings of this and came up with many messages, including how seeing all of the rabbits and the full circle experience with them mirrored the exact timing of a big commitment to a path and a change implemented directly in connection with this in my life that needed a deeper knowing in order to move forward.
But one of those messages was also just as I shared earlier.
That the nature of things is life and death. There are endings and beginnings to all things and this is the natural law and cycle.
While we can do everything in our power to try to avoid something, there is simply a flow…a dance…of consciousness that knows better.
This sweet rabbit who moved on was helping me/us to reach deeper and work through more acceptance of the inevitable.
All I can do is offer my love and devoted care to seeing that my little ones have all that they could possibly have to help their journey in the way that is theirs to choose.
The rest is out of my hands and as it is meant to be.
I will give my all to make that as harmonious as possible in all ways, including through being there for them, rather than thinking only of my own emotional needs.
They will be able to make those choices more clearly without my interference.
And while that doesn’t mean I won’t have feelings and move through what ever comes up, it does mean that I can release them more freely in a way that celebrates the process of just being and a natural cycle moving through.
Interestingly, last night I had what seems to be a linked dream.
In it, my last parakeet I had while living in Sedona back in my mid twenties came to me.
I haven’t had any messages from her since her passing.
She was pure white with aqua patches at both sides of her cheeks – beautifully unmistakable.
Her name was Iris – from Greek mythology – goddess of the rainbow and messenger of the gods.
And in the my dream she was in fact coming to me with a message from beyond.
She morphed back and forth between her little parakeet form and a large white cockatoo-like bird, which felt like another version of her embodiment when she has been with me in other times.
She showed me a tiny terrarium that had some faery flowers in it and what seemed like ashes of both her and Nestor in it or perhaps just simply their essence – like a sacred mini vessel that was very alive and in this time capsule in the etheric realm that carried their essence eternally.
She then spoke to me telepathically and said something to the effect of, “it’s time to let it all go now” and I knew she was both literally referring to the ashes of Nestor that I have and all that they represent, but also symbolically saying to release all of the limiting versions of life that humans hold.
I woke knowing that there was even greater depth to her appearance and message, much of it rooting in the subconscious, but still integrating.
And I knew that Nestor’s ashes would be leaving me, as I had felt they would except for the little bit in my tiny pendant bottle of emerald green heart chakra glass, for now…almost like that tiny terrarium in the dream.
And yet, at some point it may all go, as like all of life and all consciousness, they are within me/us – no separation and no loss…just eternal being.
Iris came with her message from the beyond, to help me move through another layer of understanding the ancient limitless soul and the true bond that lives on timelessly.
Both she and the rabbit that moved on that day on our drive back from seeing the frolicking rabbits, were helping with this bigger picture I’ve been focused on and that would be key to my writing that has been evolving.
A long way to share this beautiful day of celebration and reverence for Cosmo and all that he embodies.
And yet it is all tied together.
Today I celebrate his life and natural cycles.
I celebrate his strong and loving spirit that keeps him going despite all odds.
I celebrate his eternal being and presence, and the boundless stream of love that runs through us now and always.
I celebrate his soul path and the choices he makes.
I celebrate our union, his bond with Joy, and the love he not only gives all of us, but that he has received like never before because of the journey he’s chosen.
You continue to teach me so much in every way, but especially about living without limits, as although your body is small, fragile, and special, you continue to fulfill your path, greet each day with open arms, make the impossible possible, and give love in unlimited abundance.
No matter where your path leads our hearts will be the bridge.
I love you Cosmo and am grateful your choices included a dance with me.
I will always be right HERE with you.
So yesterday I shared some thoughts and experiences surrounding the energy of my birthday and one of the things that I mentioned had to do with growth cycles as contractions and expansions within a spiraling experience.
One thing I didn’t mention from my beach adventure, was that I was also gifted a special “spiral” shell that may appear ordinary, but to me was significant and extraordinary. It’s symbolism immediately stood out, the moment my eye caught it in the water my feet were immersed in alongside of it.
I also instantly recognized the lovely synchronicity connecting it to the card my parents had sent me for my birthday, which I mentioned the message that was inscribed within, also in yesterday’s share.
You can see both my shell gift and card above.
Perhaps you have already noted, if you see things like I do, that this shell not only has the same exact shape as the ivory one on the card (just spiraling the opposite way), but that part of the outer brown “shell” encasing had been “shed”, revealing a gorgeous, rainbow-infused, mother of pearl, sparkly inner layer.
And perhaps this already speaks for itself, but in case not, I saw it immediately as the evolutionary growth process of shedding of old structures, illusions, veils, and layers – peeling the onion so to speak – to reveal the vulnerable and valuable “pearl” core essence that is at the “heart” of things.
I love that the shell is “in process”, as it perfectly mirrors my own journey and each of our journeys, constantly and eternally shifting and recreating itself through the wisdom of experience, integration, and learning.
Powerful stuff! And it was another beautiful part of yesterday’s meaningful impact.
But what it also speaks to is something else that had recently happened, and the meaning for me that it has personally. This part of the story may sound a bit odd – you’ll understand as I share it – but as I mentioned yesterday, I simply can’t NOT express my truth and what feels to be wanting to channel through.
First off, let me recap part of yesterday’s post about the above mentioned cycles. I shared:
…These choices and growth cycles come with times of contraction, in order to create huge spurts of expansion. Within the contracting may be pains, facing fears, and feeling the challenges to their depths, but then that naturally comes with the counterparts to all of these, as we partner in the dance of life and make leaps forward, sideways, and ALL ways. And this natural pulsing of going within, then emanates more largely with each cycle, as it begins to remember and experience the fullness of All That Is while still enjoying every unique expression within that Source field…
…I’ve come to be okay with making so-called “mistakes”, stumbling, looking awkward as I grow, or saying something that makes no sense in my spiral efforts to keep moving energy in order to flow into the next phase of my growth expansion and experience.
And while I do this, I also do my best to support others to do the same and remind myself that they are merely spiraling along their own contractions and expansions to embrace more of their own pulsing hearts…
And just a reminder on spiral symbolism:
Symbol of creation, movement, fluidity, surrender/releasing, holistic growth, and awareness of the one within the context of the whole. It reveals the cyclical nature of life, the consciousness of nature from core center expanding outward, and the relationship between unity and multiplicity. It is the limitless spirals that move both “inward towards the Source of creation and eternally outward with Source’s continual self-creation.” In this way, the spiral reflects the contiguous journey home to who you really are and the journey to be one with Source.
And so that brings me to the recent “happenstance”, although I see it as another Divine reflection of evolution on my journey home to who I really am, which took place the day before my birthday, this past Tuesday, February 24th.
I had just returned home the night before and the next day was out doing errands. I mentioned in yesterday’s birthday post how my car was graced by a bunch of little moths that were fluttering about inside and on me. Moth symbolism is about transformation, ease of movement in darkness/shadow, psychic awareness and deeper inner knowing, otherworldliness, dreams, vulnerability, determination, intuition, and faith, to name a few things.
Moths move in blind faith, trusting and relying on their intuition solely, as they are nocturnal. This speaks to living YOUR life by intuition and with faith in yourself and your abilities, but with wise discernment and conscious observance. If you aren’t listening to your intuition, then Moth will remind you to do so.
Avia Venefica shares this:
Even in navigation, when we observe the moth to fly into artificial light or flames, the moth demonstrates its faith and determination.
It is still unproven as to why the moth is driven to light – but the best hypothesis is that the moth navigates by lunar light. In the absence of moonlight, the moth moves to the next best thing: man-made light.
Even at the risk of losing its life, the moth is ever-vigilant in following its path of light. This may also serve as a moral to us to keep our own vigilance, but not fall victim of blind faith.
Here we see a fragile vulnerability in the moth. The moon is her mother, and she will follow her course at all cost. This makes her open to distraction, vulnerable to harm. Here we may find another message to adjust our course as our path indicates, rather than drive forward without heeding important signs along the way.
As a creature of the night, and by her navigational devices, we see the moth is highly influenced by the power of the moon.
This all is very meaningful to me and speaks to the messages I’ve been channeling as important to be embracing and consistently practicing – trusting in myself is “key” and something I can’t afford NOT to do anymore.
The interesting part that stood out most, was the part about “adjusting your course as your path indicates, rather than drive forward”, is exactly what I got from part of the message of my experience. I actually used the same words when describing it to my mom yesterday.
So what took place on my way home from grocery shopping, with moths in my car, was any ordinary kind of thing. Stuff that I had sitting on the passenger seat fell onto the floor and while I was stopped at a red light, I decided to retrieve them.
I did unbuckle my seat belt and leaned to the right at a forward angle to reach the things, retrieving some of them. Determined to get all of it and quickly before the red light turned green, I then thrusted and “drove myself forward” hard and with extended effort, achieving my intent (cause), but not without result (effect).
I heard a small crack, but wasn’t sure what it could be. I just knew my right side hurt a bit, but wasn’t anything horrible and didn’t seem unusual given I had thrust into the side arm of my chair when reaching deeply forward.
Things I could have done differently? Not worry about picking them up until I got home, which was in another 3 minutes or so. Lifting the arm of my chair to make it easier. 🙂
I didn’t think much of it, but noticed a tiny bit of ache on my right that evening, intermittently. The next day was the same – on my birthday. I didn’t notice much of anything, until the evening and then realized that my side was starting to ache a lot more than I thought when I did anything utilizing/straining that area like bending/lifting, sitting/laying a certain way, sneezing, coughing, and laughing even.
Then I started to realize, “I think I’ve cracked my rib/s”.
And today I felt confirmed that this was an actuality, as I had all the symptoms (the sensitivities to things when that part of my right side rib cage is activated) that were exactly like what I experienced when I fractured my tailbone back in 2001 or so. You don’t realize how much every little bone in your body is integral to your day, until it doesn’t function “normally”.
It’s not a big deal, in terms of “bone fracturing”, as it just simply needs its time to heal naturally, but I found it relevant and interesting that it happened the day before my birthday/new cycle (this is a big year for me energetically) and nearly perfectly mirrored the timing of 2 years ago in 2012 when I fractured my left foot twice within two months! The first of those two fractures (a perfect spiral fracture to my left metatarsal) happened one week, to the day, of my birthday that year and when it healed, I then fractured my left pinky toe.
This makes 5 fractures in my lifetimes (5 is my favorite and magickal number, so let’s see if this is the charm rather than 3 lol!), but I have to say that like with my “aging” process I shared about yesterday, I simply don’t find any problem or negativity from this experience. Rather, and this is part of what may sound odd/weird, I find it to be an amusing and perfect gift.
Now that’s not to say I think that everyone should go around breaking bones. lol! However, for me, it is simply part of my “contracting” and “expansion” that I am experiencing, along with that shedding of old structures – which the bones and skeletal system of our bodies represent – in order to shatter what is no longer necessary so that the new can fully emerge within the regenerative process of integration in a new way and form.
I also know that the sign of Capricorn rules the bones and is connected to the Male or that “Father”principle, if you may. So shattering this would be moving through the processing of “old and traditional, out-moded, and over-used Male energy, and working at integrating the Divine Male into harmonious dance within.
And being that I had just recently gotten a sacred and potent tattoo on my right arm, to help empower and integrate this “new” Male energy (as your right side of the body is connected to your left/male oriented side of the brain), it wasn’t surprising that some shifts would be taking place both literally/physically and symbolically/energetically.
I also see bones in what may seem to be an interesting way, which is something new I’ve explored in the last couple of years since my last fractures. I have mixed feelings on needing to get my bones stronger, so they don’t crack so easily, as while on one hand I believe in supporting our bodies to be strong (which I am mindful of in the food and nutrient, exercise that works for me, and lifestyle choices I make daily), I also am seeing these “rigid” structures – represented by bones – in a productive light of breaking down to expand, transmute, and regenerate into something new and more representative of the freeness we are manifesting into.
They need to be strong, but flexible, and not so rigid and “dense” and that may be about the restructuring of DNA and molecular patterning that we are experiencing and will continue to, as we are shifting into new and luminous human beings.
It immediately reminds me of how we look and form like a fish when in the womb, but then go on to have more dense bones and skeletal systems than fish, reptiles, and sharks, which are more flexible. Sharks, and some fish, in fact have skeletons made of cartilage and are known as cartilaginous.
Now I know we aren’t living in the ocean – although that sounds like a fun plan to this Pisces fish 😉 – however there’s an interesting evolutionary process here that indicates differences between flexibility and rigidity of the different species. And we aren’t even talking about beings “not of this world”.
I’m no scientist, doctor, or evolutionary expert, however I do know that change is happening and this includes our body structures that will reflect the shifts we are making on levels of consciousness and that are taking place with transmutational evolution, as we are expanding that consciousness.
Fun stuff! And needless to say, I have a cracked rib or two, but fully am delving into the messaging and symbolism of this experience, feeling the potency of the shifts I have been making, while heeding that reminding advice to “adjust my path based on the intuitive and discerning messaging I’ve been receiving, rather than drive forward quickly” – even if I can see the target clearly and know I can achieve it, as it simply may not be the result that I ultimately want and may not be for the highest and most harmonious good of all concerned.
I LOVE how everything we need to know is right here (inside of us and reflected all around us), if we truly believe and open our eyes, listen, embrace it, and put it to active practice.
This rib fracture is merely a contraction to expansion and part of the spiraling cycle of natural growing pains that do not need to be fueled with negativity, sympathy, sorrow, dwelling, anger, frustration, or anything else of that nature. It simply needs to be surrendered into, as the seasonal change that has its own wisdom and divine unfolding.
An accident? No. Could it have been avoided? Sure. However, if the totality of learning that was received in this experience wasn’t integrated, then it was inevitable something else would take place at some unknown time.
I’m grateful to have it be as such, and I embrace the vulnerability that is being revealed, like that mother of pearl like core essence of the shell I found, as I shatter, shift, and shed each old layer and “make leaps forward, sideways, and ALL ways.”
A reminding bone, rather than a thorn, in my side, helping to reveal the pearl of wisdom and wholeness within.
I told you this may sound a bit odd, but then I never claimed to be anything but. 😉