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In the Forest I Luxuriate in Solitude


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Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice…Solitude is an achievement. It is your distinctive way of embodying the purposes you have chosen for your life. ~Alice Koller

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Life is a Sacred Journey


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Labyrinth at St. Michael and All Angels – walked this, this weekend

 

“Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.”  ~Caroline Adams Miller

 

Every step of the journey is integral to the path of wholeness that you are on.

It is ever-changing and ever-perfect, taking you to your own sacred center and back out into the expansive reflection found there.

At times you may need to call upon your intuition and creativity, engaging receptivity and courage when deciding to enter the journey to center or not – the way in is the way out.

 

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Maze at the Getty Museum’s garden grounds – explored this last weekend

 

At times you may need to invite curiosity, wise discernment, and analytical awareness, to actively engage the journey to center – flexibility and heightened senses will unveil the method within the madness…the peace within the chaos.

 

 

Infinite Ways…


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Standing in the Light of Who You Are & What You Desire – Celebrating a New Moon in Leo


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Approaching New Moon out front of The ARC, Bimini

I’ve just returned home late last night, so am adjusting and settling back in. I’ll be sharing a bit about our journey soon, but wanted to just share this, as I feel everyone in some way or another is at a personal crossroads in their lives in terms of choices, new directions, and new beginnings.

As shared before, I didn’t realize when I chose the week for this retreat that it began on the day of Mercury going direct and would end just as the New Moon would be emerging, but as all things always are, divine alignment once again was at hand.

And not having focused on what specific sign the New Moon would be in, until I returned, it was also synchronous that the themes we focused on were synchronous to the energy at hand as well.

Being that today is a New Moon, which symbolically is about new beginnings, perhaps you may find it supportive to tune into yourself and ask the really important question, “What do I really want right now?”

On our last evening and morning in Bimini the questions posed were, “What is your heart’s desire to do right now? What do you really want to do next?” and then “What ever that is, how can you support yourself to go do it?”

It was an open-ended question for each to explore and we left with greater connection to the answers, more expansive inspiration, the feeling of trust that we are supported always, and the knowingness that the time is now.

Although you might find doing the thing/s you want to be a bit challenging, you wouldn’t think that JUST asking the question would be hard. And yet it is a stumbling block for many of us, bringing up subsequent, and sometimes self-sabotaging questions that keep us at a stand still.

We avoid answering it directly and experience how our ego minds like to find every reason not to just simply express our truth, let alone can find all of the excuses why we feel that we can’t do the things now (sometimes with ingenious spiritual ego answers that run us in circles.)

Some of the questions that are triggered with this seemingly simple question posed of “What do I really want right now?” may include:

You mean I can really do what I want?

The only thing blocking me is me?

I don’t know what I want and I feel confused or worried I’ll choose the wrong path. Don’t I need to know what my ultimate end goal in life is before I can proceed?

How do I choose just one thing?

Will it be the right choice and will it make me happy?

Am I worthy of having what I want?

How do I do what I want when others are relying on me?

Won’t people judge me if I actually show them who I really am?

My parents, partner, friends…won’t support my desire if I share it, so how can I do what I want when everyone will be against me?

I don’t have enough money or time, I don’t know where to start, I’m scared, I’m not good enough, talented enough, experienced enough, etc., so why even go there and set myself up for disappointment?

And the list goes on….

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These are all valid questions to be aware of, which can lead you to greater understanding of yourself and to get to the core of why you aren’t experiencing your deepest wishes. But the challenge is not to let them run the show…not to let your ego minds reason with you, as they will always find a way to keep you from, and running circles around, yourself.

They are simply the reasons you have come to ACCEPT and keep telling yourself as your stories, in order to not experience your desire and not to be who you really are. Seems odd you’d do this, but it’s just an old program that’s been running overtime that needs rewiring and a little love and nurturing to cultivate the new program – the natural you.

Today’s New Moon in Leo is about expansive and creative passion to authentically, and with fullness of heart, express yourself, and support and nurture the flame within. New inspiration and vibrancy is at hand to embrace, which can assist you in inviting new shifts and initiate new experiences into your life right now. It all starts with the courage to say out loud what you dream of and want, and the courage to fully and vulnerably follow and trust the innocence of your inner child, step out of the darkness, and then live what you say out loud.

All of these were the themes of this week we shared in Bimini. And we walked away with greater exposure of our intimate selves shared more intimately with others.

Yes, it’s time to live without regret and fear, and shine brightly without apologies. Let us each take the time to tune in to who we really are and what we really want so that we can stand in the joyous expression of ourselves, together, in the light.

Swimming With Purpose


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Photo by Tania Marie

 

We may all be swimming in different life path directions, but we are still swimming in the same shared collective waters of experience.

Your unique journey is integral to the whole.

Keep the truth of you alive, as what you have to share keeps the vortex of experience thriving.

 

Loving and Living “Your” Truth – Taking the Steps to Creating the Life You Want


This post feels especially important right now to reshare, given what I’m picking up in the collective energetic field. As many of you are embracing new shifts in your life and focusing on your joys, passions, and dreams, it can bring up a lot of voices and create an inner conflict between what you know you want to do, and what you have learned to do. Real security is only found in your heart. Nothing else will ever provide that. Taking steps is more important than arriving anywhere, as your life will always be constantly evolving and building upon the steps taken. As you journey more into living from your truth and supporting what that means to you, may you be inspired to keep reaching deeper into the well of your heart that has unlimited gifts to bestow upon you.

Tania Marie

Many are facing a sort of crossroads in their lives, be it with relationships, jobs, health, or the inner landscape of experience. There are no right or wrong answers, as all choices lead you to where ever you need to be. We can however be more discerning, conscious, wise, unconditionally loving and open with ourselves when making these very impactful choices. And when we listen within, we will discover a journey of rainbows constantly guiding the way.

A common theme I have seen happening with clients, friends and others I come in contact with, is that of choices and shifts with their “work or job,” which in essence speaks to life paths or missions, authentic heart callings…all of which affect every aspect of our lives.

It may seem you are confused or frustrated with deciding what road to take in terms of your work, but this really is a very…

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Loving and Living “Your” Truth – Taking the Steps to Creating the Life You Want


Many are facing a sort of crossroads in their lives, be it with relationships, jobs, health, or the inner landscape of experience. There are no right or wrong answers, as all choices lead you to where ever you need to be. We can however be more discerning, conscious, wise, unconditionally loving and open with ourselves when making these very impactful choices. And when we listen within, we will discover a journey of rainbows constantly guiding the way.

A common theme I have seen happening with clients, friends and others I come in contact with, is that of choices and shifts with their “work or job,” which in essence speaks to life paths or missions, authentic heart callings…all of which affect every aspect of our lives.

It may seem you are confused or frustrated with deciding what road to take in terms of your work, but this really is a very core decision that runs far deeper than merely how your work will channel itself. It speaks in essence to who you are at the heart of hearts and how you choose to consistently channel that through every aspect of your life – work being ONE such channel.

Many are straddling the fence with one foot on both sides, but this can only go on for so long, as it not only drains your energy and life essence (creating a multitude of external mirroring challenges), but will never allow wholeness, fulfillment and progression with either.

So it really is about taking stock of what you value in totality, who you are at the core away from all enculturated conditioning, what your beliefs are and what brings you the greatest joy despite what anyone else would think and without comparing or judging it against what anyone else is doing. This can be challenging and will test us on every level, as we have to let go of ideas we’ve been taught that equate to this scary word – success.

What does success mean to you? When you can answer that question and it doesn’t feel like you are reiterating your parent’s, teacher’s, employer’s, society’s, or media’s words then you will have your answer. There is no right or wrong here. And perhaps another way to view this word success is to see it as what does happiness mean to you?

To me, happiness/success is feeling joy in every moment, feeling good about everything I do and share – knowing it reflects authentically, channeling the expressions of my heart in satisfying and harmonious ways that reflect my unique gifts for the highest good, feeling whole on the inside without need for external validation, knowing I have everything I need always, and simultaneously being able to do what I love in a way that is of service to others.

Sometimes we are so busy doing that we aren’t able to hear our inner voice that tries to get our attention. And if we don’t hear it, or ignore those gut instincts, it will speak more loudly in the only ways it knows it WILL get our attention – many times if necessary and in not so pleasant ways perhaps.

I used to be someone who was on the move always and working tons, or always out, or wanting to get to the next place. However, I also have always been a person of solitude and very comfortable with being by myself and cherish that quiet “me” time. I have a strong drive and can achieve things unhumanly possible, but I have learned to let that side of me relax and to step away from things. The thing is I love what I do as work. Rather, I would see it as play since it is joyous to do. I would view it more as a natural extension of me that I can’t live without and do because it’s a passion.

It is because of this that I have no concept of things like retirement, as to me that has this connotation of “I have to work hard all of my life doing things I don’t really enjoy, until I get old enough to stop doing that and relax and do what I want finally.” By this time you’ve used up 3/4 of your life doing everything but what you might have wanted to do, if you had known you could choose otherwise. I can’t fathom not doing something that I love always. If it’s your breath of life and no different than eating, sleeping and breathing, then why would that ever stop, unless you are in some way incapacitated? And even then, my belief is somehow I’d find some unconventionally, quirky, visionary, way to still do what I love in service to others.

I also don’t have the concept sometimes of stopping my “work,” as to me it is so enlivening, so there is no distinction for me between it and life. I do however know the importance of just “being” and while part of that is being my authentic me expressing in the way it wants, it also means that I need to honor the authentic me that likes and needs stillness, being in the experience of listening, receiving, and breathing in the natural world – shutting down the mind, stopping the male manifestation of my creative action and honoring the female receptive and feeling action to flow in, as that is what fuels everything I am able to create outwardly.

Just because one goes inward and honors that peaceful place of “quiet” does not mean that action is not taking place. This time allows for us to recharge and receive what we then are able to give and put out. It allows things to percolate and for divine timing to work its magic. Without honoring both aspects of ourselves, we deny our wholeness and in essence live half the story. There is much to be heard in silence. Being present with self and others is a gift few master.

The more you consciously make this a practice, the more it naturally becomes your way of life without thought. Nothing feels separate. Everything is connected. And all of life – work and play – blends one into the other and life just IS. It IS an extension of YOU BEING YOU.

A lot of you are facing major changes in your life and I know that can be scary. Some are being offered higher paying positions, which equates to having more things you like to have or vacations you need to take away from what you don’t like, while it also means more time away from yourself and family and creates more responsibilities. And at the same time, you have these inner heart callings tugging you the other way that feel so exciting, natural and comforting to your soul, but carry with them no guarantees and ask of you to put your all into them – trust, faith, passions, energy, and love – with the potential for temporarily letting go of things you’ve gotten comfortable having that have appeased you and provided excuse for doing things that don’t make you happy.

Each has their own things to weigh, but the problem is, we end up weighing them from a place of inexperience and from the view on one side of the “known” fence. We are very well trained in the world we have been living, but the new we feel called to seems fresh and unchartered. There is no way to really “know” the new if we don’t immerse ourselves in it the same way we have the old. Our judgments are biased and have no place in the new realm. The new is navigated solely by heart and intuition – two things we are learning to nurture and allow full reign in our lives now, where before the mind and practical thought has reigned. In this way we shift the focus of the guiding forces, as well as the support systems, into a more efficient and magical partnership.

If you truly lived life from love – love of self, what you do, others, etc…what would be missing? When there is wholeness experienced, there is no feeling of lack and no need to acquire all of these things, or take a vacation away from the joyous experience you have daily. If you want  to buy something or take a vacation it is a choice and icing on the cake, but likely becomes just a natural part of your life that supports the expression of you, just as everything else would become natural and not done with a feeling of resentment or escapism, or something needed to counter-balance all the time spent in unhappiness or stress.

So, if you go to the new, it would need a whole new approach, but with the same amount of investment you’ve given to all else in your life. You can’t just expect that just because you make a decision to do it, that that magically means instant everything. All of your parts need time to get on board and become integrated, and retraining into what’s natural from what’s been conditioned needs to be put into practice, which will mean more happiness and freedom experienced, as well as greater potential for synchronous magic because you are supporting your authentic self.

It will take your loving patience, consistent support, and perhaps support and inspiration from other like-minded people and mentors, to provide positive motivation to you in cultivating what you love. It can happen quite rapidly when embraced in fullness, as things move quite fast these days in comparison to before. And when the Universe sees you support yourself, it is more than happy to lend a helping hand.

Life changes, yes. And there will be times of fluctuating experiences, as with anything. But life will feel good.

The last time I held what would be considered a regular, office job was 2002-2003. I vowed never to go back. I went through many explorations with work and held 3 different office jobs in my life, alongside lots of other things, but the 3rd was the charm and was the amount that I needed to wake myself up with all the signs and hard nudges. Sometimes it just takes that one moment in time, that one epiphany, person, word, movie, book, quote, video, experience…to click things for you. And some times, it can also take not-so-nice experiences that we call up to get our attention.

It doesn’t mean that others aren’t meant to do office work or hold corporate jobs, as we all have unique paths and gifts, but for me, this was not most reflective of my soul. I was good at it, but that was because anything I made a decision to do, I would do to my best ability and well. That doesn’t mean it is natural or joyous. It’s just robotic and fell into things I was conditioned with and needed to let go of.

I had worked endlessly on myself since my late years of high school – going deep in my early twenties and on. So when I was faced with this decision to leave my last job, because of the self exploration and personal growth I’d focused on, I knew it was what I wanted to do, I knew where my heart was and wasn’t, I knew what was and wasn’t healthy, I had already put my focus into creating a side art business while working at my job (since I was so efficient with my work I developed my first artist website to start doing commissioned art and designs)…I just hadn’t had that last “click” take place that would push me over the edge to quit. There were those last remnants of fear, uncertainty, questioning, doubts…all stemming, I knew, from a place not authentic to me.

I waited for a sign while I kept working on things and started a couple of art commissions and one day had this inspiration to write a letter to a woman I’d never met, who was a good friend of my best friend at the time. She was very spiritual, conscious, had her own business doing what she loved, and was successful in terms of being able to make a comfortable living and living in joy. I did not know how she could help me. I only knew I should write her and share my story and reach out to ask if she had any words of wisdom. I mailed off the letter and didn’t hear from her for weeks. Until one day, after a series of signs at work, which was so stressful and I really was so unhappy at and didn’t like the employers I worked for, I came home and found a message on my voicemail from her.

Just that felt like the sign I was looking for. I remember lighting up hearing her voice and that she actually got in touch with me. I called her that weekend and we talked for a couple of hours on the phone. She never specifically gave me advice, but she told me her story…a very magical one indeed. She said the same thing I knew, that I would know when the time is right, as it will just feel like a click and there will be no fear, just clarity and peace.

And that is EXACTLY what happened in the course of our conversation and immediately after I got off the phone. I JUST KNEW. It was the click I had been waiting for to trigger within me and get all my pieces on board. And whatever fear was left had dissipated. It was more like she had mirrored myself, my inner voice, that knew everything she said was what would be for me, but I had to trust it utterly and completely and support it with all of myself. There was no room for doubt. I then embraced the moment and acted. I would not wait. The time was now.

I sat down and made a plan that night (it was the weekend). That I would quit my job in one month’s time and tell them so on Monday. I knew how much money I’d have, which gave me a little leeway with my rent for about 2 months and I then started on sending energy (at the time I did not know Reiki, but still worked with energy in my own way) to my employer who always made me feel uneasy. As I did a meditation and walked myself through the whole conversation, as it would happen, angels appeared in my vision standing behind him at his desk where I would talk to him, with their hands on his shoulders. I knew all would go well.

And it did. Better than one could have imagined.

I also told myself I would not say a word to my parents about it, this time. I knew that as a Pisces and a sensitive, I had very thin, to no, boundaries. This was something I had to do without anyone knowing, as I wanted to keep the integrity of the energy pure, authentically me, and not invite any one’s opinions in, not feel anyone’s energy influencing anything, and to do this completely on my own. I promised I would not tell them until after I’d already quit and I stuck to that.

When I did tell them, nearly a month after, I was so grounded and empowered, and believed with every fiber of my being, that even telling them was a piece of cake and was met with full embrace, support and excitement, mirroring my own. My belief created a reflected belief from them.

And that last month at work was a breeze and things started magically happening. I would meet people “randomly” and people would out-of-the-blue start talking about art – at the grocery store, coming into the office from outside, where ever I was – and wanted to commission something. Even the owner of the company I was working for commissioned me to do a mural in their lobby right after I quit my job! LOL!!!

It was one of the best times of my life. After I left the job, I enjoyed a very simple and happy life in my studio apartment, with my sweet Nestor, painting every day working on projects, getting up late, hanging by my pool just outside my place and spending time doing what I wanted on my own schedule. I never knew where my rent and bills money would come from and sometimes it would be just days before it was due, but I would always have some magical thing come through and all was well. I had everything I needed and I was emanating joy. It was also at this time that two of my most life-changing commissioned pieces came in that would shape the rest of my life as an artist and opened up deeper soul remembrances that shifted my experience in big ways.

And the rest, as they say, is history and has been a continually unfolding process of discovery, deeper connection, explorative learning, and evolutionary transformation that has taken me down many roads to uncover and release the authentic parts of me in the way they want to reveal themselves. Not having an end result in mind, but knowing each leg of the journey was integral to the bigger picture.

I share my experience of this transition briefly, in case it has any sparks or seeds that might provide that click for you. There is much that led up to this time period and much that has taken place since, but it marked a very big turning point in terms of making a committed soul decision that ensured I would not go back again. It was like drawing an imaginary line that I would never be able to cross.

I always love Shakti Gawain’s insights and perspectives. Her books are some of the firsts I read on my spiritual journey. She has some great things to share in her book, Living in the Light, on just this topic in the chapter, Work and Play. Here is an excerpt from that chapter to reflect upon. Many blessings to each of you as you follow the guidance of your heart in making the choices that will shape your life.

Work and play are the same. When you’re following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves. Work is no longer what you have to do or play what you want to do. When you are doing what you love, you may work harder and produce more than ever before, but it will feel like play. 

…When we follow the light, everything is fun, creative, and transformational. We make a contribution to the world just by being ourselves in every moment. There are no more rigid categories in our lives – this is work, this is play. It all blends into the flow of following the universe and money flows in as a result of the open channel that’s created. You no longer work in order to make money. Work is no longer something you have to do in order to sustain life. Instead, the delight that comes from expressing yourself becomes the greatest reward. The money comes along as a natural part of being alive. Working and getting money may no longer even be directly related to each other; you may experience that you are doing whatever you have energy to do and the money is coming into your life. It’s no longer a matter of, “You do this and then you get money for it.” The two things are simply operating simultaneously in your life but not necessarily in a direct cause-and-effect relationship.

In the new world, it’s difficult to pin your life’s work and true purpose down to any one thing. In terms of looking for a career, our old-world concept told us that when we became adults, we had to decide what our career would be, and then pursue an education or other steps to achieve that career. The career would then be pursued for most or all of our life.

In the new world, many of us are channels for a number of things which may come together in fascinating combinations. Perhaps you haven’t found your career because it doesn’t exist yet. Your particular and unique way of expressing yourself has never existed before and will never be repeated again. As you practice following the energy in your life, it will start to lead you in many directions. You will begin to express yourself in a variety of ways, all of which will begin to synthesize in some surprising, interesting, and very new, creative way. You will no longer be able to say, “I am a writer (or fireman or a teacher or a housewife).” You may be a combination of all of those things. You’ll be doing what you love, what you’re good at, what comes easily to you and has an element of challenge and excitement to it. Whatever you do will feel satisfying and fulfilling to you. It is no longer a matter of doing things now for later gratification: “I will work hard now so that I can get a better job later. I will work hard now so that I can retired and enjoy life. I will work hard now in order to have enough money and time to have a vacation where I can have fun.” It’s the fulfillment of what you’re doing at this very moment that counts. In being a channel, everything you do becomes a contribution; even the simplest things are significant. 

…It’s the same when you’re just being. If you walk into a room, feeling one with yourself, knowing who you are, knowing that you’re a channel, and expressing yourself in whatever way feels right to you, then everyone in the room will be transformed. Even though they may not recognize it or know anything about it consciously, you will be able to see the direct result of your channel operating. You will see proof of it in watching the changes in people. It is an incredibly exciting and satisfying experience. 

You can see that it is no longer an issue of focusing on one particular thing, although you may be led to focus and build structure in a particular area. You may choose to learn certain skills that you will use to allow your channel to function in a way that it wants to function. If you do this, you will be led to it easily and naturally. The process of learning will be just as much fun as the doing. In other words, it is no longer necessary to sacrifice in the moment so that in the future you will be able to have what you want. The learning process will be full of fun, joy, and excitement. You’ll experience it as being exactly what you want to be doing at that time. 

Conversely the work you do will be a learning experience…there is no difference between learning and teaching, just as there is no difference between work and play. It all begins to blend into one totally integrated and balanced experience.

Most people do have some sense, at least deep inside, of what they would love to be doing. This feeling is often so repressed, however, that it is experienced only in the form of some wildly impractical fantasy, something you could never do. I always encourage people to get in touch with these fantasies…There is truth in this desire. Even if it seems impossible, there is at least a grain of truth in the image. It is telling you something about who you really are and what it is you really want to be doing.

Your fantasies can tell you how you really want to be expressing yourself. Many times, I’ve found that people have a strong sense of what they would like to do, yet they take up a career that is very different from their desire. Sometimes they go for the opposite because they feel it is practical or will gain the approval of their parents or the world. They figure it is impossible to do what they really want, so they might as well settle for something else that comes along. I encourage people to risk exploring the things that really turn them on. 

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