This is a great article (below) that came to me by my friend, Hillary. I see this all the time with people – friends and clients alike, and more so recently. There’s this overwhelming “need” to do everything. Then they spread themselves out so much that they either get burned out, frustrated and stressed, or never really move forward in any big way with something they want.
Having exuberance toward things you want to create is a wonderful and propelling thing, however the excitement to “grasp” at it all can actually be counterproductive and lead you down some inefficient and sometimes sticky paths that may actually hold you back from what you wanted to create in the first place.
I have experienced this at different times in my life, in different ways. When I was much younger it was in the form of knowing intuitively that I really wanted to do “A”, but when all these invites from friends and different events showed up, I then was confused by this feeling of missing out and did “B”. However, when I disregarded my natural instinct to just take care of myself and be on my own, or do something more truly aligned with me in simple ways and instead sort of reluctantly, yet convincingly went ahead with the so-called “exciting” things I felt I was just holding myself back from if I didn’t go to, the same thing ALWAYS happened.
I ended up disappointed, frustrated, or resentful, and felt I had wasted my time and energy for a moment’s indulgence that left me feeling empty. The only value in it was about teaching me to listen better to myself and make more mirroring choices.
That said, of course there’s no right or wrong in our choices, but I do feel we can make more aligned ones that support our truth and well being, if we truly listen within.
The same has happened over recent years, where I saw that excitement take hold, but in the form of things more in line with who I am now, whenever I would manifest possibilities. I found myself saying yes to too many things and dispersing my energy and resources, getting myself involved in challenges my intuition knew better not to, and creating a more meandering path than direct. Things were showing up a lot and they all were within my realm of things I valued, but not all were necessary to be doing.
Again, no right or wrong, and in the end all things eventually can lead us to the exact experiences of growth that we need, just in more or less direct ways. However I now say “no” to a lot of things. Things that others may think to be awesome opportunities, but for me, I simply know there’s more to come and better aligned, or a better use of my time, energy, and resources right now.
And indeed that’s what I’ve experienced. I’ve learned to understand and listen to the things of most value, and my heart truly knows what those are. Not my head. Especially not, if there’s confusion around in any form. My mind is better used to help in asking the questions and assist with the discerning process, but my heart will be the guiding light.
Learning to say “no” wholeheartedly, is as important as knowing when to say “yes” wholeheartedly.
But possibilities are just what they are. Possibilities….Just because things come at you when you are working on manifesting things and you are starting to be more aligned with yourself, doesn’t mean that everything that comes to you is meant to be embraced and pursued. Sometimes it’s just a sign to you that your manifesting abilities are amping up and working, but discernment will lead you to the more supportive choices. Your intuition will guide you. If you don’t have that gut feeling right away, take the time to explore and ask questions about the possibility presenting itself, to weed out anything hidden, and to also weigh it against your goals, how much you have going on right now, is it a direct or round about way to get there, will it take away energy or resources from something else that is more important right now to focus on? etc…..
And guess what? There’s always something more and better on the way. We have the tendency to think this IS IT! We live in a limitless Universe. I guarantee you this is not ALL that there is. And that’s where trust comes in and your courage to harness your creative potentials to continually manifest in unlimited ways. Take the stuff that comes along, as sign posts to gauge the process you are training yourself in every day. Yet, keep on driving through to the next destination, as it does continue to get better. And in the meantime, you will nurture yourself in important ways, by keeping balanced, attending to your needs on all levels, keep focused, and enjoying life more and create more.
No, you don’t have to go to every event there is, even if it is aligned with who you are. Nor, say yes to every friend invite. And no, you don’t have to take every opportunity, nor read every book, or go to every seminar….Taking the present moment to be present and find the gratitude, joy, and value in everything – not just what you think you should value or that others are doing and say is of value – is when you really start to live fully. Fully living isn’t having to experience it all. It’s knowing you are fully living right here and now if it’s with all of your heart.
Here’s the article by Catherine Chen, Ph.D.:
One of the most liberating and empowering things I have discovered over the course of 25+ years of searching, studies, and self-reflection, is that the secret to beginning to discover your natural frequency of authenticity is much more simple than it seems, or that you’ve been led to believe it is.
Everything outside of yourself is simply a tool to discover what all of those “things” are reflecting about what you already have inside of yourself. Recognition and full embodied embrace of this will help to unravel the stream of innate wisdom within the Source of you.
Part of this comes with recognition that you are a boundless multidimensional being with no real basis for fear, other than a decision to keep feeding and believing in it, in order to set up whatever teachings and experiences you choose need to go through.
Part of this comes with learning wise discernment that stems from the core truth of your heart and Divine Source Center. Everyday you are bombarded by so many levels of over-stimulation that comes even in the form of New Age spiritual explanations and teachings, along with every kind of “right” and “wrong” verbiage that can be very confusing, as they all will play see-saw with your mind and feelings, as well as negate and desecrate each other.
It’s a constant war of duality and “either/or” mentality, completing ignoring the myriad of possibilities and experiences that serve only the Law of Free Will that everyone conveniently forgets when they “seem” to discover some breakthrough that feels really good to them.
It can become very confusing to decipher truth, especially if you are seeking from “outside”, rather than turning “within” to run everything through your own heart filter.
I’m not negating the exploration of learning in whatever form you are led to, but I am making an emphasizing point that just because things “look” a certain way and a lot of people are following it, doesn’t make it the end-with-all answer. The answers will only come in the form of your own filtration of personal and authentic truth.
And far too often we are giving away our power and energy and feeling we need to keep searching for these epiphany answers and the flood of light that will bolt us out of this existence, in order to think and feel we are on the so-called “right” path and have discovered “the” answer.
Constant studies, while can help you to decipher what is you and what is not you, and to expand your perspectives, and abilities to discern and think wider, can also be a trap to keep you in perpetual soul-schooling devised to keep you from ever walking in the empowered embodiment of you that you already are.
It would be of benefit to take time in silence and in nature, to take portions of your days, or a day each week, to designate to feeling what it is like to be you outside of everything else in your life.
Yes, life will go on without you and you will benefit far greater than continuing to engage incessantly with the outside world, only. This will also help you to take back your energy and power and to learn what it feels to be in your frequency and what it feels like when something infiltrates that and takes you out of that balance, harmony, and centeredness.
You will learn very quickly how to then decipher what is really a reflection and alignment with YOUR truth because you’ll know when something triggers from outside, taking you off-kilter, and is just a passing story.
It will benefit you tremendously to stop all searching outside of yourself for fulfillment and start bringing your undivided focus and energy within yourself where the infinite Source of love, awareness, and liberating truth is.
It does not come without the need for courage to look within at all aspects of yourself, as it is here that you will also face your shadow parts – parts that are crucial and invaluable to the journey of wholeness you seek.
Laura Bruno succinctly expressed this belief I share, in her earlier post today:
“Part of effective Shadow Work includes sifting through the so-called darkness in order to find, heal and reclaim forgotten pieces of ourselves. We don’t transcend duality by rejecting half of it, but rather by empowering ourselves through love and wisdom, so that we can rebalance anything unnatural in ourselves and world.”
Yes, we have focused our attention long enough on the outside world and on every other thing possible that simply must have the answer or simply must be the “problem”. We also allow everything to suck us dry with worry over this, fear about that, who’s doing what, how you are told to look, act, feel, live, and what the next “quick fix” or “miracle” discovery is that will be the answer you seek.
But it is within your inner landscape, ultimately your best friend awaiting your recognition of her/his love for you, where clarity of the truth of who you are can reveal itself if you patiently, lovingly, and fearlessly reach out your hand in the dark to receive their eternally unwavering, outreached hand.
It is here that the answer lies and no where else. Any person or teacher that tells you otherwise, that doesn’t help to empower you into your own authenticity and truth, is someone to be wary of.
The inner world feels more unknown than anything outside because you have spent more waking hours exploring everywhere but there. This creates resistance, as the mind and ego doesn’t like the unfamiliar and certainly doesn’t want to know that it could be that easy to reflect within, when you’ve been taught that life is long, hard work, not to mention that there’s some ideal experience you must attain to reach.
It is ridiculous to think it could really be simple, right? It’s ridiculous to think that your natural essence is all there is to “be”. 😉 But it is.
And this unknown factor and the willingness to embrace your greatest fears and pains are the only reasons it may “seem” scary, but with engaging your FULL inner realm, this can become the most invaluable, fulfilling, and irreplaceable treasure you’ve ever experienced or had.
As I expressed in resounding agreement with this month’s energy forecast from Lee Harris:
I fully believe and agree that the more centered and grounded you are, the more ready you are and will be for ANYTHING that comes your/our way. And the more centered you are, the more empowered you will be.
Embracing your own sovereignty of heart, you are untouchable to anything and anyone.
And the more you reveal of your authentic self, the more whole and powerful you will become.