Astrid didn’t need a costume, as she embodied the perfect Halloween bunny last night with her mysterious dark brindled coat of shape-shifting markings, silver toes, belly, and tail, and a Crescent Moon eye. I took this photo of her last night right after the sun set and my auto flash went off, which not only captured two giant orbs around her body, but caught the light just right creating a red and gold Moon in her eye. I’m guessing that Cosmo and my other bunny loves wanted to make an appearance. Astrid was definitely in a calm zone, not wanting me to leave her and kept nosing my leg to get my attention and transfer energy. She was definitely comforting me with my Cosmo thoughts.
I’d just finished my first run-through of reading my book from start to end, since completing it, which included a first round of simple edits and cutting my superfluous writing down 23 pages so far. That felt perfect to complete on this special day, which had so many connections to Cosmo and much more. I still have more rounds of editing to go – it’s quite a process – perhaps completing by end of year (my goal) before it will be in a form for feedback from others.
For now, I remain the only person who has read any of it and that feels perfect in remaining true to my voice.
This is something my bunny loves have taught me the importance of…remembering my song and singing it.
It was a quiet day and evening, which felt perfect for honoring my sweet Cosmo, tuning in with my bunny loves, and for focusing on the other joy of my heart – my book.
Even the sky reflected this calm and mystery in a perfect Samhain sunset of orange and black clarity.
I snapped this photo before the one of Astrid.
The veils were definitely thin and the love was definitely strong.
The month of October is a big month for us for celebrations and honoring, including our anniversary, Dave’s birthday, Cosmo’s transition, when we moved into the Magick Bus and began our RV adventure leaving behind everything, when I sold my amazing Hunab Ku Toyota Highlander Hybrid that took me on many an adventure safely, a month of cherished friends’ birthdays and transitions, and our moving back to our home in Lake Tahoe. I’ll be sharing a bit more of some of these as the days go on, but today is a day I want to give some words to, as it marks a 9 year cycle for us together that closes a chapter on our lives and opens a new one.
Today is our anniversary of coming together and although we experienced years of mixed challenge that likely could have taken us a different direction many times, we find ourselves continuing together, stronger than ever.
I know that many fantasize and hope or intend for their version of ideal in a relationship….the movie screen romance….that state of constant bliss…..or some idea of “spiritual” perfection….Why? Because I’ve heard it from many, I see it in things people share online, and because I have been there.
But I’ve found that it is the relationships that take you through every nook and cranny of your heart and soul, to the depths of challenge and to the shadows of personal reflection at the core, which truly create richness, fulfillment, and solidity, individually and as a partnership.
You don’t have to live this “spiritual ideal” of a life to have and share a beautiful relationship. In fact, I know of many and see many “spiritual” people who move through more partners than the world of celebrities do. Nothing wrong with that, of course, as we do change and so change can constitute moving on when that becomes necessary to one’s personal growth and well being. And there is no one way relationships need to look or be and yet, it is curious to me in the stories I’ve heard and in my own years of experience with this, how spiritual ego can sometimes overlook the beauty and gift the challenges are reflecting that may in fact bring us closer to our relationship to ourselves and All That Is, if we are willing to go as far and as deep as the relationship is asking of us. Sometimes we stop before we get there, much as we give up on dreams or intentions we’ve been working on right when we needed to just go that extra mile and it would happen.
That’s not to say that every relationship is meant to last, nor should it, but each one is opportunity for utmost vulnerability and transparency so that we may journey to ever-greater personal integrity and grace of being.
Some connections can be past life or beyond intensified to help us to move through things, clear and heal soul patterns, or are there to simply recognize for what they are, but aren’t necessarily ones for the “now” to move forward with.
Some souls simply can’t meet us at that level of commitment and responsibility that it will take to get there, but there are many that can, will, and do rise to the occasion, if we are doing our work just as much as we desire them to do theirs. The key being, doing OUR work and not trying to change the other person or force them to do what we ourselves cannot. Walking the walk will produce the most authentic experiences of either them meeting us at that bridge, or making the choice that it’s just too much and not for them.
And this is where I’ve found myself in gratitude of this relationship I share with Dave. We’ve been at many crossroads during our times together and yet each time it asked of me/us to go deeper and further, we eventually did. It didn’t happen easily or overnight, especially in the beginning, as we both came together at times of huge personal transformation we met each other with, which yanked us hard in many directions and had us exploring everything to its depths individually and together.
What I found, however, is that when I was willing to look most vulnerably and responsibly at myself and walk the walk in every way, that was the ultimate game-changer.
I share this, as I feel it is important for us to understand that everything in life now asks of these things from us consistently across the board. If we want a particular “anything” then we must be willing to go to the depths of our core most honestly and with the greatest level of conscious responsibility we can muster up in every new moment.
I want to honor and celebrate what has been an incredible 9 year journey with Dave and it feels like we are at another precipice of possibility taking place right now.
We’ve been through The Tower, The Devil, The Hanged Man, The Death, The Fool cards….you name it and I feel as if The Star and The World cards are coming into being now. The last couple of years really shifted things into several octaves higher for sure when together we took leaps into the unknown of individual and shared journeys of the heart.
Next Friday, the 27th will celebrate Dave’s first breath on Earth, this go around, but it is every day and every timeless moment he’s cherished and celebrated.
Equally so is today, the 22nd, cherished and celebrated as the moment we decided in spirit upon changing our lives forever and ending the repetitive patterns we both had experienced. The moment somewhere in our heart and soul did a part of us know this would be our chance to go beyond….our chance to change everything….and our knowingness on a spirit level that if it wasn’t now and with this opportunity within each of us, it might never be. It wouldn’t be easy and it wouldn’t be bliss, but it would be possible depending upon how much our souls had had enough.
We’ve been through it all, the worst and the best, the challenge and the flow, yet we never gave up, embraced the mirror we reflected to each other to transmute within ourselves, didn’t listen to what others thought, and instead paved our own way through life and with each other – our efforts showering us with gifts in abundance.
But no other adventure has been grander than these last two years, as we jumped together into the great outdoors to discover the depths of ourselves and our bond by turning things inside out and upside down, revealing the root of love’s true power to create miracles.
Dave literally saved my life last year and believed and nurtured me to follow my dreams and step into the most empowered embodiment of my essence I have ever been.
I’ve loved watching him blossom and reveal more of who he really is….the deep thinker, the adventurer, the silly playful child, the lover of nature and protector of animals, the poet, the creative, the sensitive, the passionate, the intellectual, the generous giver, the tender, the strong, the one who has been able to help me grow the most by challenging me with everything I need and helping me to finally find that peaceful balance.
That’s what a true, loving partner is.
It is pretty amazing, but no wonder that we are celebrating this ending and beginning of a cycle with our new dream home coming into manifestation, which we closed on two days before October – bringing another thing into celebration for this month, as we also just began our remodeling in the last couple of weeks.
It’s an incredible journey for sure, and I know the best times are now and yet to come, as we have both individually and together, worked through the biggest hurdles of this lifetime and are now ready to embark on a completely new reset of creations and experiences that only hinge on the now and focus on a whole new and unknown future.
Here’s to making more exciting memories on the next adventure we’re embarking on.
I’m grateful for this day when we both decided to show up, stand up, rise to the occasion, and say no more, I’m ready to go the length and do what ever it takes, I’m ready to be all that I can be, I’m ready to create a new reality, and I’m in, all the way.
It has been such a joy to watch Astrid relax more and more into her true self and feel safe, loved, and vulnerably expressive. It’s been just over 3 months since first she came home to us, but during that time she has come to know true comfort and joy in realizing she is here to stay and has a best friend for life in me. I’ve seen her evolve into the being I saw her to be, and not the outside persona she portrayed because of conditioning and filtering she learned to exhibit to not only survive, but to invoke others to rise to their best. She has been an example and reflection of how to view things from your heart, not judge a book by its cover, and to dig deep to celebrate the true nature of things beyond what your eyes and mind might otherwise want to react to.
Although she still is working through things and this will continue to evolve more and more over time, she is also feeling the true comfort and joy of bunnyness that she dreamed of and knew was in her nature to be.
Sounds much like me/mom, and the place I’ve come to in my life after deep explorations, surrendering, and relaxing more into my true origins of my own nature. No coincidence she and I share a journey we can support one another with and perhaps even maybe help inspire for others on a similar trajectory.
Although we’re in this interim place right now in between remodeling work being done on both places, not having furniture, and simply in process of a big move, she and our other fur babies are doing well and having fun exploring and discovering new hiding places.
This interim place seems to reflect where we all are along our transitioning journey – both animals and humans alike – in going through this huge growth spurt and relaxing more deeply into the nature of who we are – in essence, coming home to our origins.
We have a several month period of transition to go through together as a family unit, but in the end, much expansion, freedom, and creative potential awaits us. Through diligence, patience, commitment, belief, love, and keeping an eye only on moving forward from this moment, we will get through this crazy chaos with a foundation of peace at our cores to keep us on track.
And the more we each embody that, the more we support one another with it as well, as there will be times we each take the lead or are being guided by whom ever is able to move into that embodiment first – no right or wrong, no better or worse, but simply a beautiful co-creative experience for sure that is based on the foundation of pure love.
Anyway, I just love seeing Astrid’s journey first hand, and feel so grateful and blessed she has chosen me as her partner in life. Even if she has challenges in other regards, she demonstrates something altogether different with me and has come to be bonded with me in a very powerful way that helps her to feel safe because she trusts me and that bond. She is coming out more and more, but definitely will always be a one-person bonded bunny more than anything and I’m honored that she chose that person to be me.
Alongside some of the sweet things I’ll share, she has also been demonstrating her desire to be a part of everything we do as a family and to be a part of gatherings when we have people over that she likes. She will now come and stay out with everyone, hanging around to hear things and energetically join in on the group energy. She lets people she likes come and pet her, she will come out to say hi and makes it clear who she resonates with and who she doesn’t in terms of deciding to share her energy or not with (that boundary demonstration again). Even if she wants to remain alone, she will at least come out of her hiding places and give people a nose nudge to acknowledge them and give them a little bunny energy, then return back.
She also made appearances during my Reiki workshop the other day, which was her first to be part of. I could tell she had prepped the room’s energy before too and when I was doing the initiation attunements, she sat a few feet directly behind with one ear back and one ear forward, tuning in and supporting the process, as well as learning, and aiding me. That was powerful and beautiful to share with her.
But some things are too precious for words and photos do more justice to share.
One thing I’ve really REALLY been so moved to see is how Astrid in the last couple of weeks has finally done something I’d been waiting for, which is to vulnerably throw herself on her side and fall deeply into sleep without remaining cautious and on full alert. Although bunnies always are alert, I’ve wanted her to relax into this kind of sleep that my other bunnies used to do, which to me demonstrates true comfort and joy. Before then she was always laying in more “up” positions and ears alert and eyes open or immediately opened…and now she goes into true bunny dreamland and relaxes.
She does still love to have those feet grounded though and so usually will be found with her feet up against a wall or box or whatever she can find so that even though her body is floating on a bunny cloud, those feet or rooted and ready for action if necessary. I love that. It’s also sweet because it exposes her magickal silver toes.
This picture mesmerizes me to look at and I feel so much from it….mostly that is LOVE.
And although she still runs the show around here with the cats, Boojum’s persistence has found some acceptance by Astrid, although she has his number and keeps him in check. 😉
Another very cool thing miss Astrid has discovered, is the second story to her Magick Carrot House. She knew something was there, as she would look up the ramp inside of it since the beginning, but never ventured up.
But now everyday, after she enjoys her new spot on the bottom of the cat tree, she can be found nestled upstairs in her bedroom on the second story of the Magick Carrot House.
It’s the cutest thing ever and so hard to capture through the tiny carrot windows, but at least these photos give you a tiny glimpse of her sacred bedroom space she enjoys being in.
I love when she sticks her nose through the carrot window to say hi to me when I come by sometimes.
Cuteness overload for sure.
I CANNOT WAIT to create her and my new space in our new home. I have so many ideas percolating and surprises in store for her. My room is her room, so it will definitely be the magickal rabbit sanctuary and secret lair. So much fun awaits!
But for now, miss Queen Astrid is also enjoying tons of fun in anticipation of it all on the new blow up living room Dave got us for the next 2 month interim of all the remodeling and moving craze. She’s having a bouncy good time! And brings giggles to my heart.
I just adore her and love how big she is too….I adoringly call her Monster Bunny and Koala Bunny, as she is not only a huge presence, but truly is physically a power bunny embodied (similar to a bear cub, which someone called her yesterday) with a heart of gold and the alchemy of a cosmic wizard.
Yes, she is home…. Forever. And so am I.
If you didn’t believe in magick, Astrid’s here to help with that. She keeps revealing more and more of her brilliance through the dark Mystery that she is. Just like each of us have a lot of untapped and/or unknown magick and alchemy within to bring forth, as we brave the watery abyss of ourselves. As you look into the portal of her reflection, know that it is only because you have the same within you that you can see it. Our hope for you – Astrid and I – is that you remember who you are, return to natural harmony, and live in the integrity, purity, and beauty of that essence always. Shine on and keep singing your song. We love you!
Once upon a time there was a rabbit named Nestor.
She was made of stardust and reminded me I was too.
Life became magickal and my heart opened wide.
I’ve never been the same since…..
(Painting “Nestor” by me, Tania Marie)
This is a post about joy, gratitude, and love – building blocks to manifesting a magickal and wondrous life and the foundations for supporting healing transmutation and implementation of passions into dreams come true. While some people might be thrown off balance or upset, down, and self-critical over a fracture (even the old me would have been too), I feel like everything is in flow, fresh, and thriving. Definitely some of that has to do with perspective, but it feels also to be about alignment and embrace of the harmonious spirals of life. I haven’t for a second felt anything other than harmony and gratitude since my hiking adventure that led to my injury, as it feels much more to be a reset aligned with life shifts, an igniting or opening (fissure) for the new to flow in, not to mention is mirroring the seasonal changes we’re going into from Summer to Autumn.
I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful things have been surrounding the onset of my fracture and what it has revealed and put into motion. It’s incredible to witness and review…in some ways mind-blowing because I can remember the difference in my processes over the course of my life with things and it’s so dramatically contrasting to what I experience now. This is how I can SEE things ARE in fact changing and can anchor in more and more gratitude.
I’d like to share a couple of updates and then some very beautiful and incredible experiences.
First off….more gratitude sent out to everyone who has sent their good and healing vibes my way and for sending Astrid birthday wishes. We so appreciate your love and I’d like to share that my foot is doing very well. I can’t believe it’s already going to be a week since it happened, come tomorrow! Time is literally whizzing by. OMGOSH!
I’ve made mental note of how my own nurturing processes are even in much higher gear, as I’m taking REALLY good care of myself with this fracture. I noted that last go-around I wasn’t as diligent with the process, although did do good things for it, but I didn’t baby my foot in the way I should have and still was focused on accomplishing and getting things done, rather than hunkering down into the full healing mode and not trying to see how much I could still squeeze out of it all.
This time it’s been pure healing, slow-down, and wise caution, not doing anything at all to inhibit my healing or see what I can possibly still do. I have been purely babying my foot, keeping my boot on at nearly all possible times (even when it bothered the Pisces me who likes my feet free! and even when I sleep) – and doing extra nurturing things, as well as making sure to ask for help, which Dave has been so sweetly pouring out anyway.
This has included long hours on the highest setting of my biomat for my foot the last few days and just recently starting up my comfrey poultices, after a friend picked up some for me since I couldn’t get out. Being my right foot, I’m in complete surrender of others taking care of me and driving me around….weeeeeee! That in the past would have bothered me and now I’m loving not being able to go anywhere and surrendering to that, but also enjoying the sweetness of support, love, and friendship.
Anyway, I am trying new poultices with comfrey root and this feels really symbolically and literally potent and even more aligned for me right now. I made a paste and wrapped in a thin cloth I placed in the freezer for just a bit….last night when I had it on it just felt so good….just like the biomat did….like aaahhhhhhh yummy healing for my foot.
The root feels so supportive of grounding, balancing, rooting, and Earthing that my Pisces feet can appreciate and integrate in a new way. After last night’s session of poultice while watching a movie, I literally woke this morning with my foot feeling stronger…literally!
I’ve also been doing Reiki on my foot and using a Selenite wand on the area of impact.
Good stuff, which I’ll continue to implement, along with wearing my boot all day (just as the doctor at the hospital told me too) other than when doing healing work like this to help compliment my healing process.
* (I’m not a doctor and nothing I share is offered as medical advice – CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL and see a doctor immediately if you have been injured. These are only my personal experiences I take responsibility for only for myself) *
Even my sweet Astrid has been helping. I thought she would be scared of my boot and crutches when I first came home with them, but she in fact was not and in fact has immediately gone about sharing her healing energy with me, reiterating my knowing she is a healing bunny. When ever I am near her, she will come over and nose my boot/foot, which is her way (all of my bunnies’ way) of administering healing. Their noses are a channel, just like our hands, to spread the energy and love. So sweet! I remember Nestor doing this, especially once for my mom in conjunction with me doing a Reiki Healing Attunement for her, which was like a super pow! Immediately shifted my mom into balance and feeling good. Astrid is definitely demonstrating the same power-packed punch!
So that’s a foot and healing update, which I envision continuing well and being speedy based on my experience with it so far and being a good patient. 😉
On another note, I have to share this incredible thing that happened on Thursday that blew me away. We had friends over since I still was in “stay home mode” and Dave had to go out to pick up food we ordered at our fav local Thai restaurant, since T – me – wasn’t cooking and staying off her feet.
A knock came at the door and I opened it to find no one there, except these beautiful babies and a note.
I immediately knew that our amazing friends had gone back to retrieve my crystal babies.
So, I’ll back up to help you understand this, as I likely wasn’t clear in my story of my hiking injury.
I had 2 big quartz in my back pack I was carrying, as they spoke to me needing to come home and would be a part of what I will be creating in the near future. We have guesstimated them to be at least 50 lbs. So, as you can tell, I was quite determined in carrying these for miles. It didn’t even phase me, as the mind is a miraculous thing. It also officially put me into back-packer status, carrying so much and being so small.
When I fell and went into trauma shock, I asked my friends to remove the pack immediately because I needed to focus on balancing from the nausea, shock, and turning white. (I really didn’t have any pain except an initial quick impact feeling of the break that was actually pretty subtle in comparison to my last fracture, but the body reacts this way to trauma impact).
In process of balancing and readying ourselves for what was next in getting me down the mountain, I told them to leave the crystals, which Dave reiterated, as it wasn’t as important as taking care of me, being that we didn’t know the severity of things.
So they were left on the side, and I did feel this underlying sadness, but also this odd sense of continued connection that wasn’t broken.
One other friend had been carrying a quartz too and she ended up leaving as well, down further on the path, to not impede her own journey back down.
Anyway, I hadn’t forgotten them and still felt this channel of connection between them, and oddly (which I never shared with anyone) I felt like they were still with me and/or would be somehow/some way, even if it meant they’d wait for me to return later or after the Winter thaw.
So fast forward to the door opening and there they were before me with the note.
I was overwhelmed with emotion that came forth later, as I was so excited and giddy that that took over.
I then caught glimpse to the left at the bottom of the stairs, one of our friends videoing me and my reaction and knew they’d gone back to get them.
Most of my reactions were in Faery laughter and astonishment, but it was also full of exhilaration and exuberant joy and gratitude that rushed through in realizing what incredible friends I had. Like so incredible you can’t even form words except to giggle forth with joy and to form joyous tears that bubbled in my eyes later when I was hugging them over and over.
Our friends had gone back that morning on a 5 hour hike JUST to retrieve my and our other friend’s 3 crystals (likely 60+ lbs and a gift or two they found for themselves for embracing the journey of love.
BESTEST friends ever!
They also shared with us these SO SO funny videos of documenting the journey back, which had us in belly laughs. I was especially laughing at our friend’s impression of me carrying the crystals in my pack and how I was still looking around at more and saying I can carry 1 or 2 more of these babies! This was funny because they now realized just how heavy the ones I had with me were, which made my saying this hilarious as to how my determined mind took over.
This photo puts into perspective the size of just the one largest one, which is of course the heaviest too. I’m still smiling though!!
The other VERY interesting thing they noted was that where I fell was exactly at the site of the quartz field we’d been waiting to reach. Dave kept saying there was another one because he’d been on the hike before, when the girls and I had stopped at the first one we found to look around. So he was telling us not to spend time because more were on the way. We never actually saw this other site, because my injury took over focus.
Well, on their way back to retrieve the crystals they found that where I fell (marked by where we left the crystals) was exactly where they were, just up the hill from there a bit. That gave me chills in thinking of the energetics of it all at work and the alignments igniting and activating once I’d reached this area infused with more crystal vibes.
The crystals are super special and you can’t even tell the beauty of them in the photos…their amazing color – one is pinkish and the other like a golden apricot – and both have all this sparkly clear quartz infusions into the raw natural quartz rock. Amazing specimens and masterful beings!!
I’m still overwhelmed by it and also anchoring in more and more gratitude and realization that this is the new reality I have created for myself (and that is possible) where everything in it is a reflection of alignment and love…supportive energies…beautiful souls working together for a greater good….everyone mindful of and helping each other’s needs and dreams, but also supporting their own and their dreams, which brings together the highest of vibes and the power of the collective to move mountains…..or in this case to carry 60+ lbs of crystals.
It literally has to be one of the most special things I’ve ever received..and I don’t mean the crystals (although I’m in awe and gratitude of them being with me), but the gesture of true love and friendship.
These same friends also picked up my comfrey for me (it even had a Tinkerbell on the bag from the store!) and brought over some amazing organic “dragonfly” spicy black chai.
After that, our other friends arrived and I was then gifted a mini wardrobe of clothes she was moving out and thought were perfect for me and they were!
I was/am really feeling the love and I know that this is mirroring the fact that I’ve finally really anchored in taking care of myself, listening to my dreams and needs too, and balancing out that martyr energy of always giving out and never receiving – not to mention have implemented healthy boundaries. In the past receiving was hard and now it feels natural because it IS the natural flow and cycle.
You can’t just give, give, give….and you can’t just receive, receive, receive…
There is a flow of exchange to be open to and grateful for and it is all-encompassing of both being inherent in the wholeness of BEING. That is also the nature of Reiki….a harmonious circuit of flow in and out, which if blocked in any way, is the cause of challenges and dis-ease.
Yesterday was my first full outing since fracturing my foot, which included errands related to the new, a hair appointment for me, visiting my parents, and Dave getting a haircut by my mom (she has been a beautician although doesn’t do it professionally anymore since leaving her birth place, France).
I was feeling high-vibed to get a refresh on my hair, which included cut/thinning for lightness and hair getting to all silver and brown (my roots), which feels SO different and SO good. There’s constantly this recreating energy taking place to keep up with the ever-shifting energies. If I’m not naturally shape-shifting, then I’m assisting it. I also thought it was fun that my stylist styled my hair with loose spirals for a change, which felt mirroring of all the snake energy around me lately and the spiraling of the journey of life in general. I don’t ever curl my hair, as I don’t have the tools and usually just let my hair dry naturally so this was a fun update although brief.
We also got good news on this day/yesterday for something that has been in the works and took a huge turn the day before that could have gone a whole other way, but I worked with the Faeries, Buffalo energy, and did a Reiki Healing Attunement for, resulting in being told to fully trust, know what we want, and take assertive stance of our needs and the rest would be taken care of…and it was!
I’m saving that for a future post, but is something very exciting to me and going to anchor in everything further and more richly.
Lastly, I am happy to say that my book is back on track with the time off my feet and I should be able to have exciting news on that too here shortly!
We are all in this together and bringing your best “foot” forward with all of your parts together in unified alignment, sharing lots of love, joyous infusion and supportive action of your passions, and a LOT of gratitude and healthy balance supports harmony to take form in relative ways for each of us.
As I glance at the clock to begin this post my eye catches the time to read 2:26 pm. There is no randomness about that in my book, being that much of this post is centered around the theme of rebirthing, since 2/26 IS my birthday, and I’ve been seeing these numbers show up again. It’s also no coincidence my last post was titled Updates & Integrations Anchoring and my post of 6 days ago – Earthing, Faery Portals, Dream Visioning & Pisces Full Moon – spoke of the energy around the Pisces Full Moon – all of this making sense as you read on. I mentioned in that blog how Pisces rules the feet saying “dance like crazy and move energy through your feet, which will not only shake out everything from the core and move things fast, but will anchor and ground you as you connect those feet to Mother Earth – Terra. She will in turn help transmute the energy and send it back with a recharge!” I specifically also mentioned how I, myself, had just danced the hardest I have since in my twenties and then was recalibrating my sore feet for 2 days after because of it. I also mentioned having seen 5 snakes, seeing/experiencing Faery portals and new doorways of possibilities, and how pulling within sometimes is necessary.
Voila! In comes yesterday’s adventure on 9/10, leaving me to start my first day of healing recalibration on 9/11, today, which auspiciously is also the day my blog is about to hit 1,000,000 visitors – collective energy feeling entwined in this all for sure, as Pisces naturally would be.
I’ll try to keep the story simple and to the point, so I’m going to bypass a lot of the details to allow a lot of the pulling together of meanings for you to draw upon and piece together.
To make a long story shorter 😉 yesterday we went with a group of our dear friends here on an epic 13 mile hike to Star Lake. On the drive there I pointed out a perfectly formed dragon sculpture to Dave, naturally formed from a dead tree stump on the side of the road in Christmas Valley (having street names like Elf, Blitzen, and Portal to name a few) looking up toward the sky with wings behind it. That felt significant.
We found our trailhead, which took us along the Tahoe Rim Trail (where the still lingering Pisces Full Moon showed up across a vista seen in the photo above) and was gorgeous every step of the way. Part of the adventure involved traversing through quartz crystal-infused areas and immersing in their energy, which being Master Crystals was potent to say the least.
I’d been told I’d find a special crystal or two for an upcoming creation-to-be in the new unfolding, which did in fact take place, although in a different way (for now) than envisioned.
Two giant ones spoke to me and I managed to carry them in my packs to Star Lake where we enjoyed a picnic lunch. Rainbow light, Faery portals, and magick lit the journey across creeks, enchanted forests, amazing stone people outcroppings, and incredible vistas with hidden snow patches here and there, as I carried these potent beings with me. It was my first time to this lake.
On our descent, things took a turn, as I literally found my right foot swivel under me on a rock and heard a crack. Down I came and about 30 seconds later my body went into the shock syndrome when trauma has occurred in the body.
I have only experienced this with fractured bones, major contusions, my unbearable tailbone pains, or when empathing someone else’s injury. Although not foreign to me, it doesn’t make it any more fun. 🙂 Shock is a response the body has to trauma or intense pain where it shuts the body’s systems down to deal with it and can result in things such as weakness, cold sweat, irregular breathing, chills, turning white, nausea, etc.
For me it’s usually weakness, turning white, nausea, and close-to-fainting that I experience.
I knew to just sit down, close my eyes, focus on breathing slowly, energetically balancing myself, and having some water. And that was what I did with the assistance of the best team of friends one could ask for to be there with me through it. It subsided after about 10-15 minutes and after that I was back to my Faery self, but with what I intuitively knew to be a bone fracture – later confirmed.
What happened from there on was an adventure itself and truly for me was not phasing me or wavering my spirits in any way, once I balanced back out, about what happened to me, but just had me on high consciousness about what was evolving all around me, the meanings, and how this may have affected the others in ways that could be worse than anything I was experiencing.
That’s an empath for you, feeling the amazing group of compassionate empaths I had with me.
I already knew how incredible these souls all are, but when you go through challenges like we did together you really come to know the depths of the bonds shared and get to see the best and worst of people. In this case I saw nothing but the best and after just a couple of days before having been locked in an escape room together with them called Trapped in Tahoe – it solidified how well we worked together under pressure and never a negative vibe coming forth.
Sometimes experiences work in mysterious ways for valuable reasons and although you’d want to label them “negative” or “bad”, in fact have nothing but silver linings and beautiful purposes in a bigger picture way.
Dave called 911 and immediately a Search and Rescue team was dispatched to meet us, but we were in a hard to reach area, so to make it easier we had the goal of getting to the High Meadows area where vehicles could reach us. And that’s just what our team did with Dave and our friend, Happy, taking turns piggy-back riding me down the 2+ miles to get there, giggling and keeping everyone smiling the whole way with jokes and lightness.
Our timing couldn’t have been perfect, as as soon as we arrived, the SAR team was just pulling up and getting ready to start hiking up to us. Not far behind them was the rest of the emergency and sheriff team.
I had to laugh as we approached, when the first guy said something about wanting to know if there was a woman along the way that they were there to pick up. I was wearing a “Love” hat and on Happy’s back, so apparently I looked like a little girl and so they had no clue it was me.
I said, “that’s me!” He was like, “oh!” And we went on to meet the woman (that so happened to be vegan we learned immediately) who was at the truck and equally seemed surprised when Happy asked if he could put me on the bed of the truck. She was like, “Oh, yes!” again not realizing I was the one in need. LOL!
Literally right after I was sat down on the edge of the back of the truck, my friend Bean (who’d been wearing a hoodie that said 1973 – my birth year on it) points behind me where I discover a hawk flying toward us and then above so I can see its feathers and coloring. I knew I was being watched out for, as Hawks are always my guardians, sentinels, and sky messengers to communicate between Earth and Cosmos. I got chills.
I felt a little weird, to say the least, the whole time creating so much attention and more so when several vehicles and a big team shows up for little ol’ me like something out of a movie with wilderness survivors being rescued. This was no big deal in my opinion, but apparently people DO really care and when someone’s in any kind of need, “LOVE” (as my rainbow hat said) has the ability to shine through.
It’s not my usual to be the center of attention since I stay more quiet normally, but I knew there was purpose for that as well and to relax into the beauty of group dynamics and team work unfolding before my eyes, which made me think of all of the mirroring things taking place everywhere with the fires and hurricanes, and major world events.
These times call for unification, compassion, and finding the common threads of humanity and love to come together for a higher good.
I was grateful and I embraced the love pouring out here, and across the globe, despite the contrast of dynamics at work, and yet because of it.
After vitals and taking in info I was carried into the Sheriff’s truck and the rest of the gang hopped in the other trucks and we were whisked down the remaining miles to our cars awaiting us at the trailhead.
I refused the ambulance and so we thanked everyone who had showed up SO fast – they were ALL SO FANTASTIC – and headed to the hospital to await my findings that turned out to be what I thought – a fracture to my right foot.
Not just any fracture, but a mirroring metatarsal fracture to what happened to my left foot FIVE years ago. This time being the FIFTH bone of the metatarsal (different than last time), but a clean fracture again, so no surgery needed.
The doctor said he was shocked again at my age and told Dave, no offense when he had the first thought I may have been his daughter. I normally don’t look THAT young, but apparently in my attire, baseball hat, and pony tail, I was giving off “little girl” today.
Made me wonder if this had in part to do with the rebirthing energy. Hmmmm…
After being given a boot, crutches, and a 6-8 week healing prognosis, we made our way home and I made my way up the 105 steps feeling the totality of the day’s events, life shifts, and soulful journeys illuminating.
It was auspicious that only 4 days earlier I had shared a “Throwback Thursday” post via Instagram and Facebook about my 2/25/12 gallery event that took place the day before my birthday (and had birthday celebrations involved) where I showed up in a Frankenstein-like black shoe because of the left foot metatarsal fracture that was still healing.
But during the time I was being piggy-backed on this day of 2017, I was reviewing much, including how much my processes and progress had shifted since then, as I remember being initially upset and down on myself when that one took place, until I pieced together the meaning.
This time was so different. It’s hard to explain, but it was like this seamless, natural unfolding. I wasn’t in the least bit phased or even taken off center, except to deal with the physical trauma I had to initially integrate to catch up with the other parts of me that were on board already – definitely feeling like part of those upgrades and physical recalibrations to help align with all the fast transformations taking place.
Transformation leading me to those FIVE snakes I’d recently just seen AND the full snake skin I found Saturday (just the day before this took place). I found it at an Indian site on Spooner Lake hidden between the sacred stone people formations to the site, which was nearly impossible that I’d seen it (of course meant to be). Right before that I’d found a big group of feathers from one of the black and white water fowl there. Definitely signs of rebirthing, shedding old skin, and watery support to flow with it all.
And that watery energy seemed to be a focal point in that feet are ruled by the sign of Pisces, my native sign, and the sign the Full Moon was in. It also happens to be a collective energy sign, which so much of the day’s events felt to be tied into and reflecting, not to mention, as a Pisces would be natural to tap into and play out.
On one level I felt myself, as others too are going through, helping to release some of the pressure in the collective field through the fissure in my bone, which represents structures breaking down to make way for more flexible, new ones. Something Mother Earth Herself does and is doing.
It seemed no coincidence that the hurricanes were raging through Bimini when this was taking place (an area that I’m deeply connected to as you know), and my good friend Jenny was in the eye of it all, having refused to evacuate in order to stay with the home and her ARC (Atlantis Rejuvenation Center) that held the energy for Atlantis there. I’d briefly messaged with her some personal things around this, but had felt a huge resurgence and shift with the energy around that collective experience too.
It seemed no coincidence, also, that we were surrounded by crystal energy (hugely connected to Atlantis) and I had been carrying the load of 2 big ones when my incident took place. It felt deeply symbolic and later I also realized how these crystals had activated and ignited a shift for me that was actually softened through the fracture in my foot rather than being something potentially bigger.
Once again I was experiencing a profound rebirthing on many levels and was opening the portal in my foot/my nature to receive the new Earth energy streaming through.
Terra is recalibrating and so must we.
And personally, also, because of recent events that swooped into our lives heralding in quick changes and anchoring of new, I had to put the conclusion to my book on hold over and over. That had been the only thing I’d been bothered by (as nothing phases me these days), although understood all the moving pieces were necessary to take place to assist this, and so I embraced the shifting timeline peacefully. I also realized that there was some leeway because other shifts were being supported and needing to anchor in simultaneously since it is all connected.
However, I did realize that I had recently, a few days ago, adamantly stated the time was now and no further adjustments could be made because the window was opening, but wouldn’t remain so. This meant I would not be doing outings and any spare time aside from things I HAD to do to support our new manifestations, would all funnel into completing my book.
I remember having mentioned to the girls on the hike yesterday about being mindful of intentions along the hike, since we were surrounded by so much potent energy and the quartz. I realized later how my own intentions were manifesting.
Well, the crystals DID help me to manifest that determination, as now I will definitely NOT be ABLE to do anything except write.
Outer and inner aligned and so I know the portal is fertile for completion.
Hence, more reason to be grateful for this experience, which immediately was the first thing I thought of when it happened.
My Mercury is also in Pisces, which ties in with how I communicate and YES, write. 😉
I will have more to share later including exciting news on our living situation, but for now I must hunker down and embrace the gift I’ve been given and what the crystals opened for me and for us all to create new realities.
I recently heard that while Bimini looks like a war zone right now, that they are okay. Fires have continued elsewhere, hurricanes are still raging through…Nature is doing her own rebalancing, as are the forces at work providing us potentials to rise up.
Devastation has hit many places recently and likely will continue, but there is opportunity for rebuilding from the ground/core up and hopefully doing so with greater consciousness and mindfulness of the Whole.
And this is why, for me, while I can see the connection….on a personal level I just feel like life goes on and when something happens it isn’t even surprising, but is feeling more and more like my aligning with Nature’s processes that simply cycle through and needn’t have any stigma attached to them since they are fluid changes that are part of All That Is.
I personally feel there is grace available in everything…a purpose…a potential…a doorway…and there’s no need to waste time being upset, as there’s so much to be grateful for and far worse potentials to go through and others are in fact going through, to be complaining about a fracture.
I could only see all of those things…the silver linings….the incredible gifts….yesterday, and not a second of anything other than that moved through me. Not a second.
The doctor yesterday at the hospital kept trying to get me to take pain meds, which I kept refusing. He said I “made it too easy.” I thought to myself…. “It can be.”
There’s no coincidence we were at Star Lake and I wore my mirroring tank top that said, “Made of Star Dust”.
We are being shown glimpses into our divine nature, our origins, our connection, our truth of Being and our unlimited potentials.
The heart of a star is within each of you to embody and contains the building blocks of how to turn this human experience into an exquisite creation of a New Earth collective.
(End note: I worked on and off on writing this today and saw 5:55 when done, although still had to plug in the photos – those transformational 5’s again!)
There are times to look beyond…shift perspective to expand your vision of the macro.
There are times to look within and experience the micro.
Yet always remaining centered and anchored at the core of all consciousness and existence that is you, and seamlessly unites both.
Things are intensely challenging and enriching simultaneously right now.
I just keep hearing the words, “remember who you are”.
And with tomorrow’s Eclipse upon us shortly I say, “listen to the music of your origins and sing from your Cosmic heart.”
This will speak to many of you I’m sure. Lee shares support for the next few weeks that may be feeling intense with all that is going on energetically. I would definitely agree with his sharing how the heart and third eye are at the core of things right now and that you’ll need to take time to nurture yourself away from things, while harnessing the fertile energy to create so much more at this time even with everything playing out in the outside world. It may be necessary to remove yourself from things or for others, to support the fire within that compels you to take more direct action. Tune in where your gifts are best supportive at this time, as it is all necessary, valuable, and important…listen to that voice within. Being mindful of what drives you is important too….is it anxiety-based or a creative propulsion? This is a time to put things to rest and be done with things….time to change! Lee asks, “What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to experience with your life?” This is your invitation….envision this in bigger ways than you have yet.
I do love that the title and theme of Lee’s energy update mirrors yesterday’s blog I shared Expanding Realities Welcoming Greater Possibilities & Soaring New Heights
In love and creative alchemy.
A little update and GIANT thank you….I don’t know how many of you follow along on my Instagram or Facebook pages, but I wanted to send out a big hug and loving gratitude to everyone who has lovingly and sweetly been supportive of my journey and the material that I share there and here on my blog, who has followed along with my own evolution, as well as for all of the support over the years of the channeled work I’ve had the honor to share with so many too. I am a big believer in sharing gratitude and how important that is to deepen into within yourself, but also in acknowledging the little and big things multi-universally and individually in connection with others that truly is an expression of LOVE manifest.
I/we never know the full reach of the things we do and put out there, but doing what moves us most in our hearts is the reason that fuels it all, nonetheless. At least that’s how I feel about it.
I’m always deeply moved and surprised when I do receive a message of gratitude or a personal share in relation to something I may have done or said, as it reflects the circle of connection and woven thread that runs through everything we embody, share, and do and its direct effects, regardless of our thinking nothing we do matters.
This is also why I feel the importance of being present daily with how I’m relating to others and any situation and how I might be able to challenge myself to arise to even greater energetic experiences with my responses spoken or unspoken.
I had written a thank you on my Facebook page several days ago, but wanted to share thanks here too, as I also noticed that this blog I’ve been lovingly cultivating is nearing 1 million visitors shortly and that really struck a chord too on many levels.
Since first sharing in any of these forums, so much has changed and it’s like so many versions of myself have been embodied and shed over and over – all done very publicly, as my process of moving through fears and my desire to reflect transparency and love of every step of the journey, as well as to support more courageous and authentic ways of living from the love and creative alchemy of Spirit moving through you.
Because things are shifting in focus for me, and as you know I’ve released much of what I used to do in order to embrace what is here and now moving through me “wanting” to be brought forth, I’ve joked to friends that I’ve felt like I’ve renounced the old. This to include older versions of me and have lovingly released these things as no longer the expressions I feel to carry forward because they no longer fit AND they in fact feel more like completion and tying up loose ends of things from my soul history, rather than now versions needing to be anchored anew.
That’s not to mean that things couldn’t at some point circle round in new versions if I felt so called, as I often see and acknowledge that energy when and if it arises, but they are not present currently and the more I’ve released things, the stronger the new has been anchoring inside me.
Anyway, I will eventually be giving everything a face lift and “new” updated version to match the shifts, but it will take a little time since that’s an involved process and right now am needing to follow the steps that come first.
So, soon there will be a new website and focal point, consolidation of things, and my social media and blog will also reflect these expressions.
It all excites me, although yes, will be a LOT of work and dedication. Luckily it comes from a place of love and essence channeling through so that makes it fun and extremely rewarding.
In terms of Facebook, a few years back I had to create a new Facebook page (because your personal profile pages are only allowed a certain limit of connections that I reached) and I intended the new page to also have more of a focus of sharing my life’s work and path more in depth. I haven’t been able to keep up with updating it is often as I would like or in the way that I’ve wanted, as life’s journey has taken me into times of needing to channel my energy into balancing life and supporting shifts with my creative output and new paths emerging – this leading to not posting a lot there in general, especially when I’ve taken breaks from online. And yet, so many have still lovingly supported that channel and I thank you so much for that.
However, in the coming months and forward I will be more regularly posting things and new material there that I hope people who follow will enjoy. It will root my new focuses and embody my life’s love and greatest passions/joys to share with you, just as I do here as well – to me, my most important work yet.
If you are on Facebook and have interest and haven’t already been following there, I would like to invite you to my page: https://www.facebook.com/taniamarieartist/
And in the meantime, if you’re on Instagram, I’ve been posting the most there since it’s quick and a creatively fun outlet (this will also reflect the upcoming transitions in months to come though) and would love to connect with and follow along with your posts there too. You can find me on Instagram as taniamarieartist.
I hope you’ll find the changes to be inspirational and enjoyable, and as always, please do pass your own links along and/or connect with me on both Instagram and Facebook, as I love supporting other visionaries, artists of all genres, healers, inspirational souls, nature lovers, earth guardians, cosmic travelers, compassion ambassadors, harmony weavers, people following their hearts, courageously paving new paths, and speaking their truths.
I’m excited for where the journey is headed and although things in the world and some realities seem “off” and challenging, I still believe there is much evolving in incredible ways and new realities are being birthed with our learning to harness these energies for the highest good of all concerned.
Keep doing your part and coming from your heart.
In love, gratitude, and creative alchemy.