I was just texting with a friend and their timing couldn’t have been more synchronous. Literally, in the middle of putting together this short post that I felt guided to quickly share, their text came through. My post inspiration is on “true friendship,” having seen this come up as a theme a lot in very sad ways, and what this friend said and shared just went along with it.
They shared with me how lonely they feel…and that they have no friends, to which I responded, “I can’t speak for anyone else in your life, but you have a true friend in me and perhaps the loneliness is asking you to love yourself more and realize the best friend you have within.”
From there all authenticity reveals itself and life is enriched.
“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” ~Roderick Thorp
“Friendship with oneself is all important because without it one cannot be friends with anybody else in the world.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
The most important thing is to learn to be your own true friend…the one that provides everything you need unconditionally and allows you to then give TRULY to others. This also opens up your channels to RECEIVE from others, as even when you desire to feel something from another person, they can only do so to the extent by which you are able to accept, receive and feel it from yourself.
The value you place on you will always be reflected. And the DEPTH that you receive in experience from others will grow in mirror to the DEPTH of the authenticity you experience within. If you desire more than superficial niceties and the occasional bursts of joy that leave you empty at the end of the day when they are no longer around, look within and consistently tap into the flow of that infinite source of true unconditional love daily for yourself in authentic ways.
The highs and the lows of life can eventually come to rest in more balance and harmony, as we keep going further in our self-love and innate Divinity with each pendulum swing.
The challenges we have with people and “friends” stems from our relationship with ourselves. They will mirror EXACTLY what we need to see and embrace and what we need to cultivate more of so that we are no longer triggered, threatened, envious of, frustrated, hurt, or angered by others. Turning away or cutting someone out of your life is not the answer either. This works for removing the triggers that may be annoying or bothersome and helps provide you the space to recoup your energy, but if you haven’t taken the time to courageously and vulnerably look within and haven’t done integrative healing work about what exactly it is about the experience with that person that bothered you or created the adversity you experienced, it will inevitably circle around again in some form or another until you stand still with the truth and integrate it unconditionally.
To learn to walk a life of true alchemy you must practice it. Part of living is about learning the simple secrets of alchemy and remembering the magician that you are, as part of the Universal, Ever-Loving and Continually Creative Source.
I guarantee you that when you look within yourself, ask the challenging questions, and process the adjustments and changes for yourself on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, your experience with that person, persons, or anything that triggers you will simply and magically transform. Sometimes we think the experiences have shifted because the other person just starts to mirror your avoidance too and so then you live in untruth until the next trigger that blows out and you wonder how that happened, or until the next trigger that may not even stem from them, but comes from someone or something else altogether to get your attention.
Things don’t just go away unless we do the powerful work.
We can’t fool ourselves by avoiding or filling our lives with stimulation. At some point or another, which is definitely the focus of the energy now that is making it crucial and no longer a luxury to say, “I’ll work on that later,” we will have to do the deeper integrative processing…and this will lead to the new, authentic, and consistently harmonious and magical experiences that have never been possible before.
In the end, after the veils fall, you will come to know yourself as the best friend you always wished for, and you will come to know who really was always your unconditionally loving friend. And when you do, cherish your and their preciousness and carry that through to every connection you have with others so that you can be that true friend they can cherish as well.
“I believe that true friends talk without intention, give without reason, care without expectation, love without condition, and will be there through thick and thin.” ~Nishan Panwar
“At the end of the day, the people who really matter will be the ones standing next to you watching the sun set and assuring you that it will rise again in the morning.” ~Ash Sweeney
“Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest …It’s about who came, and never left your side.” ~Unknown
Every day is opportunity to challenge our hearts deeper and come to know and cherish the friend within so that we can really see and experience others in their true light as well.
Being a lover of bunnies, make-believe, dreaming, hoping, loving, nurturing the child within, and authenticity I was inspired to share one of Sarah Ban Breathnach’s inspirational stories from her book: Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy.
When I was a child I had more stuffed animals than I could count and I easily entertained myself for hours singing, playing, talking with, and simply loving them in my made up fantasy reality I went to daily. I was often off in another world completely consumed by the reality I created each day. I didn’t need any outside stimulation, although I often experienced much, and many friends, from the other worlds, but to me this was the authentic experience mirroring what was within- I knew nothing else.
I continued throughout my childhood, pre-teen and teenage years marching to the beat of my own drum and remaining in a reality of my own creation. Life was simply different for me, than what I saw around me, but this was something that as a child was so natural. But as time moved on and I was exposed to different things and conditionings than what I knew of as my experience, the inner dialogue started to ask questions and try to understand the differences I experienced from others.
This can be challenging to work through and process, but in the end I always came back to the fact that my natural experience of “different” was “normal” and most comfortable and authentic to who I was in my heart and soul and I didn’t like, nor operated successfully or healthily, any other way. When love came to be my experience, on a conscious level of creative choice, for and about who I was despite what I saw, felt, heard, or what anyone else would tell me, my life became “real.”
And this continues to expand exponentially and what may have at one time looked like make-believe, is belief in the making – my reality manifested.
This one in particular story by Sarah Ban Breathnach warms my heart because of the elements dear to me it holds. I hope it does the same for you. It builds on a precious story many of us know from our childhood: The Velveteen Rabbit. Here is Sarah’s sharing:
On Christmas morning the bunny sitting in the top of the Boy’s stocking with a sprig of holly between his paws looked quite splendid. He was fat and bunchy in all the right places, with a soft, spotted white-and-brown coat, thread whiskers, and ears lined in pink sateen. The Boy was enchanted and played with the rabbit for two whole hours until family directed his attention to all the other wonderful parcels lying under the tree “and in the excitement of looking at all the new presents the Velveteen Rabbit was forgotten.”
For a long time, the bunny remained just another plaything in the nursery. But he didn’t mind because he was able to carry on long, philosophical discussions with the old Skin Horse who was very old, wise, and experienced in the strange ways of nursery magic. One of the rabbit’s favorite topics of conversation was on becoming “Real.” Here is the heart of Margery Williams’s mystical tale of the transformative power of love, The Velveteen Rabbit, written in 1927.
The Skin Horse patiently explained to the bunny that “Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
Becoming Real doesn’t happen overnight to toys or people. “Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
In order for toys to become Real, they must be loved by a child. In order for us to become Real, we must become lovers of real life in all its complexity and uncertainty. Like the Velveteen Rabbit, we long to become Real, to know what authenticity feels like. Sometimes this hurts. The thought of losing our whiskers and having our tail come unsewn is frightening. In a world that judges by appearances, it’s embarrassing having all the pink rubbed off your nose. The Velveteen Rabbit isn’t alone in wishing to become Real without any uncomfortable or unpleasant things happening.
One of the ways that we become Real without too much discomfort is by growing gradually into our authenticity. As you learn to acknowledge, accept, and appreciate what it is that makes you different from all the other toys in the cupboard, the process begins. As you learn to trust the wisdom of your heart and make creative choices based on what you know is right for you, process becomes progress. As you learn to endow even the smallest moment of each day with Love, progress becomes reality perfected. Your black-button eyes might have lost their polish, but now these windows to the soul see only beauty. You become not only Real to those who know and love you, but Real to everyone. You become authentic.
I finished typing this blog at 11:11 🙂
Having recently been going through another major transformation (with a physically manifested, dramatic hair cut among other things) that continues to unfold, I see this theme of renewal, integrative empowerment, inner reflection to reveal authenticity, and trust in what is revealed to manifest outwardly, to be recurring around me – whether conscious or not – embraced or not. People are going through major shifts that are like none they have gone through before. Everything is getting kicked up several notches and when we are able to recognize the beauty of it and flow with the change, rather than fight it, ignore it, or do everything else but honor it, then the magick happens.
We all have different ways to go about things, different things we each have to learn, and different timing, so no one person can tell another how they “should” do something. The most important thing is to do it for yourself – whatever that soul accomplishment is that you are here fulfilling.
If we see someone going through struggles, pain, or even what we may “deem” unnecessary experiences or unproductive, that is simply an observational judgement coming from not being able to see the bigger picture of free will and how each person has and will decide their own ways to learn and evolve. It can be challenging to detach and not want to step in to help in the way we think can help, but the truth of it is, we can only offer to hold an unconditionally loving space and provide energetic support.
It is up to each individual what they choose in each moment and with each choice we have the ability to obtain a higher vibrational frequency, which equates to the measurement of the soul – not to our definitions of time and when and how someone must accomplish something.
We all make judgments daily when we see, hear or experience things and part of our collective journey is moving towards releasing these, as we embrace the holistic concept of Oneness and mastery of our creative and loving potentials.
The more we focus on our own processes and how the authenticity of that collectively connects, simultaneously, the more we start to harness the mastering of creating new realities we desire, without exerting unnecessary energies elsewhere.
I am seeing how every day more and more magick keeps unfolding, the more I go to the depths within to access and embody my truth. This weekend, just after getting my hair cut, I had a very intense experience of that renewing energy, and on that journey I was led to discover a falcon feather. I now have this powerful animal totem symbolism and spirit guide energy/wisdom on my desk with me and am grateful for its gift.
Falcon Wisdom Includes:
- Assisting in soul healing
- Accompanying the soul back to the soul world
- Teaching swiftness
- Learning the aerobatics of life
- Controlling speed and movement
- Understanding magick
Also: Spirit, Light, Power, Focus, Prophecy, Freedom, Aspiration, Intensity, Determination, Visionary Power Leading to Life Purpose, Solar Energy, Rising Above a Situation, Carries Message of Transition and Change, Taking Action on Something You’re Passionate About
Very synchronous for my current experiences and energetic symbolism 🙂
All of these themes that I see/feel around led me today to pick up my book by Shakti Gawain (which I like to do now and then) and open to a page to see if there is a message to impart. And what I opened to, energetically aligned with what I was wanting to share and so I’d like to leave you with passages from her insightful book, “Living in the Light ~ A Guide to Personal and Planetary Transformation” to ponder:
“The trickiest part of using the mirror process is learning how to interpret the reflection you see…It will not help to analyze and think about it with your rational mind. It is far more effective to turn to your inner self, to ask the universe for help…As you tune into your gut feeling and get a sense of what feels right in the moment, act on this feeling.
After acting on the feeling, try to be aware of the external and internal feedback from your actions. The external feedback is how well things work. Do things seem to fall into place and work easily? Then you’re surely in tune with your inner guidance. If you’re struggling to do something that doesn’t happen easily, it’s a message to let go and check back in to find out what you really want to be doing.
Internal feedback will come to you as feelings. If you feel empowered, more alive, then it’s right. The ultimate key is aliveness. The more the universe moves through you, the more alive you feel. Conversely, every time you don’t follow your inner guidance you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.
In being true to yourself you will feel more alive, but you may also feel uncomfortable. This is because you are risking change! As you undergo certain changes you may experience intense emotions. Allow these emotions expression; after all, your inner voice has to move through years of accumulated unconsciousness, doubt, and fear. So simply let these feelings come up and flush through you – they are being cleaned out and healed by the light.
External feedback may also mirror these feelings; your doubts and fears will often be reflected in the reactions of those around you. If your friends and family question or judge the changes in you, recognize that they are simply mirroring doubting, fearful voices in you, such as, “What if I’m doing the wrong thing? Can I really trust this process?”
…The important thing is to recognize that you are really dealing with your inner fears. Affirm that you are learning to trust yourself more and more. You will be amazed to see how others immediately mirror your increasing self-trust and confidence by responding to you with trust and confidence.
If you judge and criticize yourself, others will judge and criticize you.
If you hurt yourself, others will hurt you.
If you lie to yourself, others will lie to you.
If you are irresponsible to yourself, others will be irresponsible in relation to you.
If you blame yourself, others will blame you.
If you do violence to yourself emotionally, others will do violence to you emotionally, or even physically.
If you don’t listen to your feelings, no one will listen to your feelings/
If you love yourself, others will love you.
If you respect yourself, others will respect you.
If you trust yourself, others will trust you.
If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you.
If you are gentle and compassionate with yourself, others will treat you with compassion.
If you appreciate yourself, others will appreciate you.
If you honor yourself, others will honor you.
If you enjoy yourself, others will enjoy you.
It’s very important to realize that you may not be able to change your old patterns overnight…It takes time for ego to change its habits, so you have to watch the same lousy movie repeat itself a few times.
…Change happens not by trying to make yourself change, but by becoming conscious of what’s not working. You can then ask your higher self for help in releasing the old and bringing in the new pattern. Remember, the darkest hour is just before the dawn – change often occurs just when you’ve given up, or when you least expect it.
…We, as spiritual beings, created the physical world as a place to learn. It’s our school, our playground, our artist’s studio. I believe that we’re here to master the process of creation – to learn how to consciously channel the creative energy of spirit into physical form…
After we are born into the body, we forget who we really are and why we came here. We take on the “survival” consciousness of the physical world and we get lost in the world of form. We forget our spirits, believing we are just our personalities. We lose touch with our true power and feel lost and helpless. Life becomes a tremendous struggle to find meaning and satisfaction.
…Eventually we realize that it’s not working: no matter what we do in the world, we don’t find happiness…This is usually a painful and frightening place in a person’s life – it feels like hitting bottom. It is a time of ego death, when the body mind form recognizes the hopelessness of trying to live this way and surrenders its fight…
But the darkest hour is truly just before the dawn. When we finally give up the struggle to find fulfillment “out there,” we have nowhere to go but within. It is at this moment of total surrender that the light begins to dawn. We expect to hit bottom, but instead we fall through a trap door into a bright new world. We’ve rediscovered the world of our spirit.
This is like being reborn. We are infants in this new world and have no idea how to live since none of our old ways work here. We feel uncertain and out of control because our ego is not in control anymore. Yet hope is reborn with us, and power and vision start to come through. From this point we become gradually more “enlightened.”
…So here we have the dilemma in which we all currently find ourselves – a great discrepancy between our spirit and our form. The spirit is very powerful and creative and has a lot of things it would like to do to express itself in the physical world, but it needs to have the form as a vehicle in which to do it. The form is willing but isn’t yet able to go where the spirit wants to go. It has to be educated and transformed through the power and wisdom of the spirit.
…In order to create the new world, we are being challenged to move back into the world of form with full spiritual awareness. We need to recognize the discrepancy between our spirit and our form and then allow the spirit to transform the physical body, the mind, and the personality into a powerful and beautiful channel through which it can fully express itself.”
Thank you Shakti Gawain for sharing your timeless insights.