The first day of February is a special day, as it will always be Nestor’s day of birth (my twin soul and rabbit companion) here on this Earth plane and back with me in this life. This is such a creative month ignited by today’s celebrations of also being “Imbolc, Candlemas, Groundhog’s Day and St. Bridget’s Day,” and it’s a special month for me sharing a birthday in February alongside my brother, both of my grandparents from France on my mom’s side that are no longer with us (including my favorite grandpa who nurtured the artist me), several dear friends with close birthdays to mine and even sharing the same day as me. Today also kicks off Lee’s new Energy Update for the month of February and feels to be the month I’ll be complete with editing my new book to ready it for the next stage.
Rabbits are reflections of growth, rebirth, awareness, harmony, abundance, creativity, fertility, vulnerability, and Mother Earth’s changing seasons. So Nestor is a powerful way-shower of these energies, as we kick start this new month of February possibilities and leap into the energies available.
Peace and visionary awakening are the themes Lee speaks of hitting the collective big time this month in his new Energy Update video below. He calls this a “high month and cosmic month” in terms of energy available and what is possible for everyone. That feels resonant to me and certainly to Nestor. 🙂
Lee points out and reiterates that action is required for us all and that’s not just about “out there,” but “in here,” inside of you. Not a new message, but definitely needed to keep repeating.
If you’re suffering or tired of the ups and downs, even if you are being of service to others, then it’s time to turn that action on to you and balance these out – fuel yourself!
This isn’t self-indulgence, but a way to show up more in the world the way you desire to and the way to keep your wellspring abundant for the giving and receiving.
Consistency and congruency in life is key – inside out reflections of life lived as an example. I can’t reiterate that enough, as well, as I have seen SO much of this inconsistency blowing up on people lately, especially in prominent positions who speak and represent one message, but behind the scenes are acting out a completely different lifestyle that is like a separate reality.
Self-care increasingly is being the message to us all and really taking care of what is not consistent for you and what is lingering and continuing to spiral around and around.
Nestor was always a great reflector for me of what I was missing and needed to take care of within myself. And she continues to be a daily reminder in my heart, keeping me on track and not straying from my own need for balanced consistency.
Today she would have been 15 and unbelievably it’s already nearly 10 years since she returned to the Cosmos. And yet, her presence is everywhere and disseminated into every part of my life, so that I see a reminder when needed or simply to reflect love.
Make February a month for self-love and this will assist turning around those challenges you have been experiencing and that have been beckoning for your attention.
Once upon a time there was a rabbit named Nestor.
She was made of stardust and reminded me I was too.
Life became magickal and my heart opened wide.
I’ve never been the same since…..
(Painting “Nestor” by me, Tania Marie)
So much is rapidly unfolding right now in my life, and I know from what I’ve heard from others that the same holds true – Spring has sprung indeed! It’s incredible how all that I knew was percolating and being anchored over the course of the last months, Winter, and year, is coming into manifestation now. And the New Moon in Aries really kicked things in gear with igniting several layers of events unfolding, my own seeding of intentions with certainty of action, and even some surprise arrivals that couldn’t have been cosmically timed better, along with today’s honoring of my dear Nestor…aligning at once.
But first, a sharing of reverence to the spirit who has been my guiding light in life.
I can’t believe it’s been 14 years (today) since this incredible being found me again and re-entered my life in the physical. What a gift you are in my life, even from afar now where you travel the Cosmos like the Cosmic Pilgrim that you are. Thank you Nestor, my twin soul, for everything you have and continue to teach me, for challenging me to be more of who I really am, to help me know the real meaning of love, and for knowing me better than I knew myself. I wouldn’t be where I am and creating what I am right now without your guidance and the tough, tough experiences you threw at me and stood by with your unwavering love and belief in me, so patiently. Where responsibility failed me at times, love helped me rise to the occasion. You are cherished and honored now and always.
It is no coincidence that everything unfolding and arriving in my life right now is connected to this portal day of your arrival. I know, also, that Joy, Gaia, and Cosmo would not have found me either, if it hadn’t been for you.
I love how you continually weave your magick and soon it will be known just how much you’ve changed the course of everything.
It is also no coincidence that a new crystal friend found its way into my life, arriving home to me on the New Moon.
Because of your teaching to me to trust my nudges, this led me to divine alignment in seeing a post by a crystal keeper of a new offering in his collection. The crystal I saw was spoken for, but it wasn’t the crystal itself, but the description that had caught my eye….”Red Rabbit,” And so I inquired, nonetheless, discovering he had just two more available. And one of them I knew instantly you had in mind for me and had helped me navigate to.
It was even given to me at discount and I had a feeling I would find surprises in store. I was sent a quick video of the crystal that went so fast it was hard for me to fully tell, but I had a feeling this was a magickal one. I was able to only discern the number of sides to most of its faces, but one was hidden, so I couldn’t confirm and didn’t feel called to ask about, as I knew to just trust.
And when it arrived, it was in fact what I had felt.
This is not only a potent and beautiful crystal in its own right of being, but turned out to be a Channeler Transmitter Quartz, or Trans Channeler/Dow Crystal as they are known. These seem to keep finding me, as I discovered Fiver’s Quartz was also this, which sits atop my Magick Crystal Wand I kept for myself, and I found two other crystals that will be fashioned into a scepter, which just so happened to be this as well.
Dow Crystals have perfect 7-3-7-3-7-3 face sides and are rare, remarkable healing stones bringing balance and harmony.
AND, to add to that, it is self-healed, has wonderful “root” energy for grounding its high vibes, has laser crystal essence for focus and fine-tuning communication within and with other worlds, and also holds scepter energy, which helps transmit directional energy to the heart of the matter from the higher planes.
AND, another surprise I didn’t see in the video, because he was holding it in a way that covered this, it has a key! A key helps you gain access to information, healing insights, and hidden things, as well as aspects of ourselves by unlocking doors. So, yes, a little portal action to discovery. This is usually and easily recognized by a six-sided indentation on the side of face of the crystal caused by another crystal.
And add to one of its nicknames – “Red Rabbit” – this was like hitting the crystal jack”rabbit”pot for myself with this lovely one.
A little on the crystal properties and generals.
It is an Amphibole Quartz, which is only found in Brazil – a mine in the mountains of Bahia to be precise. They are also known as “Angel Phantom” or “Angel Wing Phantom” sometimes – this is because of inclusions looking like wispy angel wings, and “Red Rabbit” – because of the white streaks flowing through the red like a rabbit dashing through the desert (their white tails create the streak when they run).
They have a beautiful, sweet, pure, but strong energy.
Some of these crystals are more etheric (like mine) in their inclusions and others are very pronounced and more solid appearing – almost like those colored sand creations you can make. This can include hematite (the red), kaolinite (the white), limonite (the yellow), and lithium (the pink).
Because of this mix of inclusions and their infused properties, they create balance on so many levels and assist with grounding and manifesting that which is in the higher realms of experience.
It was a first for me to know of these (all in divine timing) and I can understand why this one has come to me, given I don’t really bring many new crystals in anymore. I don’t look for them or even intend to have more crystals, but a select few have seemed to find me recently due to the new being created.
These crystals bring peace, harmony, serenity, surety, strong sense of quiet confidence with decisions and taking on the unknown and new, but also ground and provide raw energy and drive to do so despite obstacles, and do so with clarity, cohesion, and practicality (hematite), support self-worth, joy, vitality and abundance of energy, and inspiration to share with self and others (limonite), emanate love, compassion, empathy, integrity, and working for the highest good (lithium), and channel inspiration, connection, and channeled light from Crown Chakra and Angelic/etheric realm.
They call it a “manifestation crystal extraordinaire” that assists when we are faced with mountains to cross over and that’s good because I will need it for things upcoming!
It’s also a very potent protector (with discernment to help avoid reactions and fear-based decisions) and cleanser of all toxicity within and without, great for lucid, restful, informative, and peaceful dreaming, past life recall, but also helps you to see your gifts, strengths, increase self-empowerment, and infuses the importance and presence of more high-vibrational universal love, joy, and beauty into your life.
I love what Victoria of Ethereal Energies of Quartz Crystals shares about them:
“This is the perfect tool for the inter-dimensional era we have recently entered, so much unrest, worry, anxiety and fear are running amuck in the daily world news. We all need to take a deep breath and realize by our thoughts, feelings and beliefs today, we create the future we will live in tomorrow. The Amphibole Quartz is exactly what we need to give us that little extra boost of confidence, courage and protection we could all benefit from while we are creating the new us.”
My loves from beyond sure know just what I need for the journey ahead we’re co-creating and their timing is impeccable.
And yesterday, Dave and I had a bunch of things light up, but it was also a significant day just for me because I knew with clarity and conviction that I would get my first draft of my book completed by the time I leave for Australia, as so many things came together to support that. I hadn’t had that definitive feeling happen until then (as I’ve just been flowing along) and I anchored it in while I wrote another small, key part of the story as my action in support of that declaration.
Of course that doesn’t mean it will be done then, as there is a lot of reworking and editing to do, but to have the entire story done will be huge and finish off the cake, while the rest will be the icing that will unravel rather quickly I imagine from there.
Support is all around. It’s time, especially now, to manifest with certainty of action that backs your intents, connect with the essence behind your desire and how it can help bring more love and light into the world and is connected with All That Is, and believe the help and assistance will be there.
You can have the miracles and make the leaps desired.
You can write a new chapter in your life and recreate anew.
Today would have been Nestor’s 14th birthday and I still celebrate and honor this powerful soul even though she left her Earthly body almost 9 years ago. She has seen to it that others of our soul family have found their way to me and me to them, constantly watches over and guides me, cares for my human self when she feels deeply, sends me messages and signs, supports me with my path and life’s work, and fuels my heart with love and devoted compassion and passion.
Oh the stories I could share that would seem incredulous.
What a magickal day she shares on this celebration of Imbolc.
So many wonderful messages have come through from her and our beloved friends recently and especially between yesterday and today.
Feeling her so much and grateful for her continued support in my life.
Where there is love there is no separation.
I am with her now, as I always have been.
Yesterday was our last day, for now, in the U.S. and in East Glacier National Park, Montana, as we journey forward over the border into Canada today to Waterton Park, Alberta. There we’ll be exploring Waterton Lakes National Park at the north end of Glacier and deeper northern region of the Rockies. I couldn’t have asked for a more meaningful and magickal experience to celebrate this last day and my connection with both Joy and Nestor, as the day unfolded divinely with manifestations galore that were in support of our sacred connection and activation ritual they were guiding me to initiate here.
It was so heart and soul rich that it deserved its own blog, alongside a recap blog of this past week that is forthcoming.
Our journey led us to the Many Glacier entrance of the park on the north east side of Glacier where we were feeling drawn to do the hike to Grinnell Lake. It ended up being about a 7 1/2 mile roundtrip hike that took us past two other lakes – Swiftcurrent Lake that gorgeous Many Glacier Hotel sits on and Lake Josephine – as well as wanders through amazing vistas that take your breath away (more of those photos will be in my recap blog).
What we didn’t know was that it also had the opportunity to swing up to Hidden Falls, which proved to be a guiding force for this journey.
I’d been feeling that somewhere in Glacier would be where some of Joy’s ashes would come to rest, as she had led us to Montana (extending her physical body’s presence with us until getting there, as a pointer for me). I had always felt that Montana was an important part of this journey for some reason, and those reasons would unfold once I was there. It also happened to be a place I’d made energetic connection to 20 years ago when I passed through Glacier on the Amtrak train, coming to reconnect with the Blackfeet Indians at my touch down – more on that in the next blog.
I knew it was a place for soul retrieval and activation work, as well as collective empowerment work for the Blackfeet and more.
What I didn’t know was that Nestor would, in partnership with Joy, be a part of this. But that became more clear as the week unfolded.
Interestingly, I hadn’t been led to take Joy’s and Nestor’s ashes with us on our daily hiking adventures, except for this last day in East Glacier.
So we gently packed them up in our backpack and we were off.
I had no idea if I’d actually be spreading their ashes or not, as I would wait for the messages and guidance, and the feeling had to be just right.
This hike was such a stunning journey and I increasingly was feeling the build up of energy that was signifying to me this was going to take place…I just had to wait for the right moment and signs.
Along the way I was soul infused by the beauty that resonated so deeply with my essence and all the things I love.
About a little over half way to Grinnell Lake my first sign appeared, although it hit me with astounding clarity later.
We’d seen a couple of animal friends run across the path like chipmunks and marmots, but suddenly two deer now appeared.
The wild thing is, which seems to happen all the time with instant manifestation after intent or thought, I had literally 1 second before seeing them said in my head, “I wonder where the deer and elk are, as we haven’t seen them since West Glacier.”
Bam! Hello deer!
Two does (female deer) stepped out of the brush, literally 5 feet away from me, as I was leading the way on our hike.
They were so incredibly beautiful, delicate, and otherworldly.
I knew they were not of this world, but in it right now, as they felt and looked so cosmic – extraterrestrial in nature, combined with a human, deer, and magickal quality. Shapeshifters indeed.
Dave and I stopped and just enjoyed connecting with them.
I talked to them, as they looked at me and wandered back and forth across the path, eating and making sure we were aware that they wanted to connect and communicate. They were in no need or rush to leave us.
This lasted for quite some time and then an older couple at the other end of the path approached. They saw the deer with us and so they stopped too – the woman taking photographs, as I was.
The four of us were all peaceful and calm, mirroring these lovely creatures’ energy. And so they remained.
They continued slowly moving down the path, beckoning us to follow and so we did. They were constantly keeping in very close proximity to us, without wandering much farther away than 15 feet, then returning close by again within 5 or so feet.
Eventually we decided to move on and the other couple followed our cue.
As we passed each other, the woman said to me, “how lucky we are.”
But the man said to me, “you’re not done yet.”
The couple left and Dave and I lingered a bit more with the does, then decided to fully continue on, feeling grateful for the time they had shared with us.
They came onto the path ahead of us, as if leading us down the path and wanting us to follow again, which we did.
After a while they wandered further into the brush a bit, still wanting to connect, but then we heard a lot of noise coming up behind us. A family with young kids that were being a bit rambunctious and another couple ahead with loud bells on them to ward off bears.
I looked at the two deer and they looked at me. Their calm energy was about to be disrupted and perhaps even become distressed and scared by this energy, as I heard the family behind say, “Look there’s deer!” and were rushing forward.
I wanted to protect them.
So I said to the two does, “Hurry, go! Go hide!”
And they instantly listened and separated – one to each side of the path and went deeper into the brush so they weren’t as accessible anymore.
I said to Dave, after a while of contemplating what the man said, “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what he meant. Seems like a message that something more is to come.”
Dave said, “maybe he wasn’t just a man,” in his sort of serious joking voice.
I said, “now you’re catching on,” and I giggled.
We continued on and arrived at Grinnell Lake, crossing rivers, creeks, and passing a sign for Hidden Falls, to which I said, “we’ll go there on the way back.”
Grinnell Lake was stunning.
More of that amazing aqua water that I see all around here in Glacier because of the glacial silt that catches the sun so amazingly, a bunch of cascading waterfalls coming down the snow laced mountains, and amazing colors and textures speaking so vibrantly to all of the senses.
We spent some time connecting there, finding this perfect place to sit away from the people at the opening of the lake. It was a wood plank someone had set in between two trees, creating a little bench framed and cradled by the trees’ branches and facing the lake, mountains, and waterfalls. I loved it!
I tuned in, as I had wondered if this would be where their ashes would go, knowing that it was to be in sacred water. Visually, one would think it would have been here, but because I felt all things would be harmoniously guiding me, having the wind blowing at me so strongly, which would mean the ashes would be blown at me or washed immediately on the shore, this was indication that it was not in alignment here to do this.
I was to flow with nature, not work against it.
So, after a while we decided to head back and went back to where the sign for Hidden Falls was.
Up we climbed, passing another older couple on their way down. The woman says to me, “it’s so beautiful!”
I smiled, and said, “oh good! I’m so glad!” Feeling, hmmmm, this could be the place.
We arrived at the top and Hidden Falls was indeed beautiful and quite magickal.
So gorgeous with the green moss covered dark rocks carved by the cascading water that created an aqua pool below and was surrounded by joyous flowers and a mountain peak extending upwards from the top.
It had rained lightly on and off on this hike, and when we arrived it began to sprinkle.
There was a viewing platform to take in the waterfall, but it was away from the water and so once again, I was wondering how this could work for spreading their ashes.
Dave noted that there was a way down to some overhanging rocks, if we climbed through the wooden railings and hiked down. It seemed slick with mud and rock, so I was contemplating, especially since we weren’t fully sure the edge would drop right off to the water.
But something drew my attention to the ground just on the other side of the wooden railings where my eyes lit up and I said, “Look!! It’s a red heart! A larger version of the little red heart I found a couple of days ago and had just posted about this morning on Facebook!” The rain drops were just starting to fall upon it, revealing its true, deep red color that the water unveiled – matching my stone at home.
I’d shared that the little one had been one of many heart stones along the paths that I’ve been seeing and gifted since Joy transitioned, along with feathers – both feeling like her angelic love and presence guiding and supporting me daily.
So as soon as I saw this large red heart, I instantly said, “That’s the sign I was waiting for! This is it! This is the place!” And my hesitation about going down the cliff completely dissipated and I actually ended up being the one leading the way.
We climbed down to the rock edge above the falls and I peered over with glee seeing that in fact the ashes would go directly into the water below when thrown. Yay!
So we sat at the edge, with lovely yellow flowers between us and the falls, and I gingerly started opening the sacred boxes housing Joy’s and Nestor’s ashes.
I took out Joy’s ashes first, untying the bag that held her white essence.
I pinched a little of her loveliness and with complete joy, some weeeeeeee’s and yay’s I released her above the waters below, watching her merge with the beautiful aqua sacredness. I did this twice and each time filled with “joy” and celebration, as I said, “go beautiful Joy and do your thing!” knowing that her powerful essence would work magickal alchemy beyond what anyone could imagine in coming to rest and merge here.
After Joy’s ashes, I did the same with Nestor’s, which were a gray essence, feeling that they were meant to work and be together, as they always have been and always will. Again, with extreme “joy” I released Nestor to join in the celebration and sacred intention.
Both of their ashes not only merged with the waters below, but with the waters from the sky above as well, as some of their ashes were gently carried by the raindrops to their resting place below.
Such beautiful symbolism and the most perfect, mirroring place for both of them in these Hidden Falls surrounded by Faery magick galore! The water here would journey down and connect with Josephine Lake where we’d be journeying back along.
And it felt so perfect and light, which was a different experience from all of the times I’d spread Nestor’s ashes in other sacred areas across the globe where it was very serious, more drawn out, and included some shedding of tears most of the time.
This was the new way and my new path of harmony, joy, and ease. Not to mention the new way for us all.
Just as potent. Just as magickal. Yet I could get there by means of a different path now.
Thank you my precious partners!
I snapped a photo of this enchanted sacred place to remember it always and then we made our way back up and to the other side of the wooden railings.
Crossing the boundary back into the realm from which we’d left, now returning in renewed harmony.
We made our way down the hiking trail back to the main path and as we were walking I was saying to Dave how perfect all of it was and how meant to be, commenting on the details, the heart, the lightness of it all, and no one being around or coming near while we did this.
I finished this joyous review with a connection that suddenly hit me.
The two does we’d seen were Joy and Nestor!
That’s why they connected so much. That’s why they were so otherworldly.
They had shapeshifted or sent these deer as messengers to me, directly from them.
The second I said that, again instantly, the same two does showed up at the bottom of the trail to Hidden Falls where it meets Grinnell Lake Trail.
They had followed us all that way, or had just manifested in that moment, to confirm what I was saying and to thank me for what I had just done!
I was so excited and felt the beautiful completeness of it all.
We connected a bit, then Dave went on and I lingered slightly, then I thanked them and went on myself.
When I caught up with Dave I said, “Now it makes sense what that man was saying to me.”
The rest of the hike back I was elated and gliding along with my heart in overload.
Near the end of the trail I then looked down and saw a feather. It was a twin to the feather I’d found the day before in terms of being the same kind of feather from the same bird.
Two parts of a whole, each unique, but connected, just like my sweet Joy and Nestor.
Again, another sign and gift from Joy and Nestor together as confirmation of this joyous completion.
We got back to the car and decided to visit Many Glacier Hotel on our way out, which was just lovely (more photos to come in the upcoming recap blog). We enjoyed a refreshment there overlooking the view and I reflected on it all.
Then back in the car we went to head home to the Magick Bus and Cosmo who I was excited to go share the experience with, although I knew he was aware of it.
Just before we leave through this area of the park to get on the highway that’s when our first Black Bear shows up – again another thing we’d just mentioned earlier.
Dave had wondered why a bear hadn’t shown up yet.
I’d said to him, “One will show up when we are in need of its energy and message.”
And so I guess now was that time.
She caught my eye as we were driving and so we got out to connect more, as I was able to snap some photos of this beauty relishing on the abundance of berries in the lushness of the mountain, fully in her “joy”.
Right as we got to the edge of Browning – the town I’d stopped in 20 years ago and was taken in by the Blackfeet family – a small rainbow appeared in the clouds across the fields – the second rainbow we’d seen here in East Glacier.
The first rainbow was on our first day of arrival here when we also saw our moose friend, but now it was book-ending our time here on the last day and after this beautiful and sacred experience.
It’s hard to see it in the photo, but it is at center of the clouds in the background and was quite vibrant in person.
And for the first time, at this end of the park, a huge herd of Bison appeared in the fields in front of the rainbow and I was filled with “joy” watching the little ones running exuberantly, as their mothers playfully joined in.
Yesterday we visited my family at their home in Reno so that we could celebrate my mom’s 73rd birthday with her.
Of all days, it was a crazy snow day, which made the one hour and 20-30 minute drive, two hours to get there in the late morning and three hours to get home at night…snow, chains, and all.
But it was worth it to be with her, as these special times won’t always be around.
That’s the same way I feel about everything.
This moment right now is what matters and making the most out of it and being all you can be now and expressing all that you feel now is what counts.
I did that with Nestor when she was alive, and with all of my little ones, loved ones, and Earth herself.
I mention Nestor, as today is her Earthly birthday – day after my mom’s – although she has gone on to her timeless form. She left Earth at 5….that was already 8 years ago!
Wow…I’m continually marveling at the way time is no longer something we can measure..We are experiencing the eternal more and more.
Yesterday we enjoyed my mom’s cooking with some vegan lentil soup followed by a vegan birthday cake my dad had ordered, which was chocolate with raspberry and chocolate mousse instead of icing.
The funny, but I thought perfect, little thing that happened with the birthday cake was that we received the wrong cake – or did we?
Of course ours was supposed to say “Happy Birthday Marie” – my mom’s name – but instead we got “Happy Birthday Grace”.
I said, we could all use a little more grace in our lives, embody a little more grace each day, and indeed are blessed to be graced with so much love and support all around us – off and on Earth.
My mom has always had the grace of angels around and within her.
What a blessing for her, as I know the thing she loves most is being surrounded by her family.
I’m glad we could give that to her and I know Nestor was right there with us, as she shared a special bond with my mom as well.
An abundance of love to both my mom and Nestor.
Thank you for reminding us of sharing love right here and now.
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” ~Denis Waitley
After the morning showers yesterday, the weather turned into a perfect blend of sunshine and mists, but lovely temperatures that had me peeling off my “Never Underestimate the Power of a Woman with a Rabbit” sweatshirt quickly on our stroll.
Although I did work yesterday, I discovered that everything was really focused around Nestor and that it was meant to be a day of celebrating her.
Since this is truly our official new leg of the journey, being out of the OC and LA areas now, it felt aligned that Nestor would want to also celebrate and inaugurate with us.
The number of our RV site also happens to be a #1 in numerology when broken down – new beginnings.
Just before lunch we took a walk all along the beach and pier area here. I felt called to take Nestor’s ashes with me and so I had her in my pocket the whole time. I was also feeling out where I would spread a pinch of her ashes, as I felt that this would be a place for that, especially being the kick-off of the journey and due to our having been here together.
The walk was beautiful and again so many animal friends were showing up…from a group of turkey vultures with their transmutational energy and a solo one that seemed to be specifically connecting and wanting closer to me, to some frisky squirrels, playful wiggly sand crabs, and many different varieties of sea birds.
Everything seemed to be lively and playful…including the waves that were crashing on the rocks before me and reaching high in the sky.
I even stopped to take a photo where you can see the terra cotta-colored resort on the hill just behind me to the left, above the beginning of the pier, where I’d stayed with Nestor.
I held Nestie in my hands.
It was like I mentioned in my post from two days ago when we first got here “It’s almost like a dimensional doorway transcending time and space where we are sharing the same ocean and looking through it to each other,” as when she was with me she would sit by the open sliding glass door looking out at the ocean in the direction I would have been now.
Synchronously, there was a sign when you first enter the pier that I ended up spreading her ashes from, which I photographed the title of here:
We walked from one pier to another, but the timing didn’t feel right. I felt that sunset would be. So Nestor remained in my hands and pocket.
I’ve taken her ashes with me on journeys across the globe where I felt called to spread them in sacred ritual for collective Earth healing. Just a pinch in each place I intuitively got the nudge.
And I feel that along this journey there will be a lot of places I’ll continue to do so.
Several months back I purchased a special Victorian style bottle handmade in the Czech Republic that is emerald green in color like the heart chakra.
It happens to also be a pendant on a chain you can wear. I searched high and low to find the right little bottle that would securely seal, but that would also so regally honor Nestor’s energy.
I have felt called to put some of her ashes in the bottle to keep with/wear on me always, as I felt that eventually the rest of her ashes would go back to the Earth in service for a higher good. And only what fit in the bottle would remain with me.
I’ve had this bottle for months, as shared, but it wasn’t until yesterday that I felt called to fill it here in Avila Beach.
And so I did very gingerly with a tiny funnel and with a slow methodical process so as not to lose any of her ashes and to be respectful.
One tiny piece got stuck in the funnel near the end so I put my lips to the top and blew. I then had a light coating of dust on my lips and felt the sweetness of that…like kissing sweet Nestor and us merging.
After the process was complete I decided to let Joy and Cosmo connect with Nestor’s ashes, as they have both worked with her out of body.
It was interesting to see how they sat quietly and nosed the bottle, then just seemed to be honoring her.
I continued to do my work, which included painting something that was Cosmically connected – how perfect – until right before sunset.
I wore my pendant with Nestor’s ashes at my heart.
I then knew it was time.
So we walked to the first pier, which is the one I felt was where I wanted to spread her ashes from the end of it into the ocean.
It was now chilly, so back on my rabbit sweatshirt went, but everything was aligned.
As we got on the pier this display from the sunset is what appeared suddenly and vibrantly in fluorescent pink. On no other evening recently have we seen a sky like this at sunset. Sunsets have been mostly subdued and soft and without display like sunrises have been.
But the pink shot up and arched across the sky behind the mountains, creating a bridge from Sky to Earth.
It jutted out from near the rock called Smith Island (curving in formation that points in direction from/to Morro Bay) and even played with the Moon.
Morro Bay is just on the other side of this rock, directly in line with where I was on the pier, and the whole area is quite magickal.
I knew Nestor was so strongly with us and even the pier was full of sea lions barking that had come to rest on floaters surrounding it in the ocean.
They were also below the walkway of the pier, which we were able to climb stairs down to and literally watch them from just 6 to 7 feet away all snuggled in for the night.
What a celebration of life.
I got so excited like a giddy Faery and made my way to the end of the pier where I did a little blessing and intention for the Earth and spread a pinch of Nestie over the water.
It was such a joyous and light experience. I was smiling wide inside and out.
Nestor lives on vibrantly in every experience I have and in every part of life in and around me.
When we recognize this truth, the reflections become more profound.
It was such a difference from other times in the past without hint of mourning anymore or sadness, but simply love, playfulness, celebration, gratitude, and joy.
A new experience has emerged from the integration I’ve embraced.
A new story has been written.
A new journey has begun.
And it is a journey that vibrantly celebrates eternal life within all experiences and at each point in the cycle.
Nestor reminds me to sing my song courageously from the heart and live life out loud, as the expression of All That Is that I Am.
As I sit here working away on a sacred tattoo design, I have this song playing in the background – a very special song in my life, as it connects me and my beloved Nestor.
It was, and is, our song.
Today marks seven years since she transitioned (wow time moves fast) and so I honor her today with this version of our song and video that celebrates the Earthly, Cosmic, and Magickal we both love and honor.
I hope you enjoy the music and beautiful images.
It’s 11:11 am here, as I finish writing this.
I love you Nestor, now and always.
The moment you want to give up is when you need to dig as deep as you can to keep believing even more, as you’re so close to breaking through the veils and into the light of your heart.
It’s one of those time cycles where I feel a stronger pull to my cosmic origins, and needing to remind myself of balancing and grounding in order to fully be present in this current Earthly experience. And while feeling these pulls elsewhere, it’s no wonder I’ve also been sharing reverence for my beloved Russian Tortoise, Gaia, whom has been away on mission since the end of April.
She, along with my beautiful, physically departed Nestor, have been heavily on my mind. And I know that they are both cosmic pilgrims engaged in their soul essence journeys of the heart.
I know many of you have followed along with their stories, in particular Gaia’s of recent, and may remember she had for the first time hibernated for a short period this winter, returning auspiciously before the end of Winter, but right at the perfectly timed moment in my life. And then, not long after she had returned, she then disappeared again and has been gone since the end of April, now approaching 5 months and oddly during the dead of a very hot Summer here.
I haven’t recently had the sense she is returning, but if she in fact at some point still does, it will be her most surprising and magickal feat to date, which would bring a huge smile to my usually unsurprised self. In the meantime, I have been supporting her energetically in the work she had been called away to do, knowing she is always with me in heart.
But it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve felt the need to honor her more appropriately, especially if she has chosen to move beyond this Earthly realm like Nestor. That’s what it feels like in my heart, and perhaps her original idea of returning has shifted due to my own shifts.
Having gone through what will always be the most heart-wrenching experience of physically losing Nestor in the most dramatic/traumatic of ways at a very challenging soul leap time in my life that nearly took my own breath away, I have gone through the worst and so am able and prepared to handle physical loss, or anything for that matter, with an unconditionally, unattached love and deep honor. Perhaps Gaia chose this way, as mirror to the place I have arrived with this – with no need for closure to the eternal, nor need to physically see and experience that transition from life to afterlife. I am aware that transitions from one dimensional experience to another can be gently chosen, just as much as harshly chosen, depending on what we need to learn and what our attached beliefs are.
I’ve also found it interesting, since both Gaia and Nestor were always not really “all here” when they were, that as such expansively powerful, cosmic beings that they chose these tiny bodies to manifest as. And yet their power was evident, not only in the strength those little bodies physically exhibited, but in their presence and the magickal things they would do each day while with me.
I know part of the reason they came in those bodies, was so that we could be together as we were, and yet as much joy as they brought me in this life, it gives me greater joy to know that they are no longer confined by those bodies in any way and can be the freedom seekers of the Cosmos that they are. Afterall, they spent very little of their time in those bodies, even when they WERE with me, as they were constantly traveling and doing work inter-dimensionally. They remind me of myself and it’s no wonder we have been together across times.
Gaia was such a mentor for Joy and the two of them were best friends. Gaia also had the opportunity to connect with Chuck, while he was still alive, and was an avid companion of the ethereal Nestor (also a friend of Chuck’s).
I found it interesting that on my desk, where I have some of my crystals that support me daily, that the stone statues of Hematite (Nestor) and Rhodonite (Gaia) that I have carried with me on many of my global sacred journeys to have their energy symbolically and physically present where I was doing spiritual work, have always been next to each other on my desk. And the larger Serpentine stone statue of Joy, who is a bit more Earth-bound than they are, (although truly is the embodiment of a bridge between worlds, is a channeler and Crystal worker), is separate, yet connected by the large Cosmic Crystal between them.
And, both Nestor and Gaia are now physically gone, leaving Joy and I together here on this Earth plane.
Joy is my ever-faithful companion who alerts me to all energetic nuances and presides over our shared domain, as a guardian of the sacred. But over time, even Joy’s presence has shifted, as she used to physically take part in any workshops I taught from home, and now her presence although felt, is no longer there – choosing to remain in my office to support from afar.
Little by little with their support and teaching experiences through them, and as I have shifted into my own empowerment, accessing the connections and communications beyond space and time in a more tangible way, and have released attachments, they have all been able to move into different roles in my life and into their trueness.
The more these transcendent shifts anchor, the more I receive inklings of where my own soul direction is leading and the timeliness of that.
It’s all a beautiful journey and I’ve been reflecting on all of this, as thoughts and memories of Gaia have been flooding me recently. It’s brought some bitter sweet tears and yet joyous ones in celebration of her eternal expansiveness.
And I felt it time to make a memorial of sorts in her honor, regardless if she did in fact one day, out of the amazing blue, return. I want her to know how much I am eternally grateful for all that she is, and all that she has been and will continue to be in my life. Like all of these precious and astounding souls, she has taught me so much and she has saved my life more than once.
I have decided to keep her home outside where it has been, as a memorial for her, and also to mark the area I believe she entered Earth’s core through. As it is there I discovered her last time when she returned. If she does in fact miraculously return, then she will have her home to welcome her. Although I hope if she does, that I will still be here to welcome her. This is part of why I am not feeling her returning. I trust, as always, that she’s tuned into my messages, even though they have a bit of a time lapse where she is. We’ve never not been in sync, so there’s that. 🙂
Interestingly, not too long ago, this area where her house sits that has two Plumeria and one large succulent bush, had completely shifted. The large succulent bush had uprooted itself one night and as it did, had taken down the two Plumeria. I had always reflected on this as a sign of the work she was doing below ground, as well as a mirror of impending change that was to take place and the uprooting in my own life.
Since, the bushes have been replanted and supported, with hopes they would survive, and have. So much so, that the Plumeria are now in full bloom – I just was checking them out this morning when I took these photographs – and I love that they surround Gaia’s house with their fragant beauty.
The perfect reflection of the joy and grace she brought to my life, this time around, when I was most in need.
Plumeria symbolism includes natural beauty, charm, grace, new life, new beginnings, creation and recreation, the Sun, perfection of all things as is, dedication, devotion, love, immortality, healing powers, liveliness, life, and birth.
I believe these are perfect messages for where ever the new journey ahead may lead. And however that is to take form, I can only trust in the faith and belief that I will have the same kind of courage these amazing souls have graced my life with.
I also found three Star Jasmine this morning that had blossomed “out of season”. Jasmine flowers symbolize many things to many different cultures, including love, romance, sensuality, amiability, nobility, grace, and elegance, but more importantly, they hold strong spiritual significance, as a constant symbol of divinity and hope.
These three Jasmine felt like magickal reminders of these three dear and immeasurable souls in my life, as well as embody, to me, the powerful will of the courageous soul that doesn’t accept the boundaries others choose to believe in and is capable of blossoming in the darkness.
Six years ago, today, she transitioned from this Earthly plane and from my physical experience of her, but not without gifting me even in her passing.
She helped me to open and deepen my heart in ways that took me to the darkest and lightest of experiences and that is invaluable.
We continue to grow together and through our love I am not only knowing her more, but knowing myself more each day. And this results in greater understanding of All That Is that we are One with.
I know people wish to only feel the joy and the elevated bliss, but I assure you that is not what life is all about and it isn’t until you open to the depths of your soul, that you truly experience authenticity of love and harmony and come to truly know “you”.
Nestor is with me always, guiding, supporting, and loving me daily and our love resides not only within my heart, but within every star across the Universe, and every encounter and spark of life. It is limitless and eternal.
As I celebrate the vast love we share, I wish all of you the experience of knowing yourself through the limitlessness of your heart.