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Walking on the Edge ~ Creators Creating Personal Alchemy


As we walked into the energy of May 11th’s New Moon, it called us to feel into the old and decide what heavy baggage we no longer wanted to carry forth into the new. With the Moon being in Taurus, the energy of what ever our personal goals and intentions were for entering this cycle, there was going to be a need for patience and grounding, since Earthy Taurus moves slowly. There would be a nudge toward more mindfulness and clarity on what you really want under the influence of this energy before actually proceeding, and a lot of persistent patience and trust would be in need of nurturing.

If you experienced a few more challenging, confusing or even darker days leading up to the New Moon, you’re not alone. I did, too, and others I heard from chimed in. It’s not unusual, in general, for that to culminate around this cycle, but there was something more going on that some of us sensitives seemed to notice that was riding along the currents as well.

What ever the themes and energies were that emerged for you, these I feel are sacred messages as to what’s to be alchemized not just for the lunar month, but also the journey at large, ahead.

You may have sensed a shift to more material and physical things to include your body, your home, daily, and simple routines or mundane things and these would both be helpful, as well as inspiring creative changes like redecorating, wearing new colors and styles, experimenting with new foods, and creating beauty all around you.

As creators, walking into the new we want to see, with trust and courage, is what’s needed – not knowing the end result and not knowing how, but moving into it and watching it work out in the moment. When in doubt, we will need to remember to foster words of gentle encouragement to ourselves and look inward to understand our personal alchemy. When feeling discouraged or lost, we may need to call upon support systems – on and/or off Earth, or simply from within.

While we may need to learn to be our own muse at times, there are many muses around us that can be uplifting and inspiring. Anything can be our muse – a person, animal, plant, color, energy, feeling, place, spirit guide, etc. They will carry codes of creation to spark new realities.

In any event, these are the times of the creators – you – and what we’re journeying deeper into is bringing forth personal alchemy in a way that helps make changes in your life more fun and with greater ease, which ultimately has an effect for the collective as well.

If you find yourself at a crossroads and unable to see what’s next, you’re not lost or alone. I find that the further we journey in these rapidly accelerated times, the less we’re going to have foretelling of what’s around the corner. We’re being invited into a different way of experience that leads from the heart’s alignment to spirit.

We’ve oscillated between choosing either mission or love (what’s the most far-reaching responsible and compassionate thing or where our heart tugs) and we are learning to merge these so there is no sacrifice.

It’s not just a human endeavor, but a cosmic journey we’re embarking on and helping to harmonize.

It also feels to be about going beyond black and white to play in the gray – the middle way.

It’s not a clear cut path, as we’re creating it as we go along and many are not only working with us, but awaiting and cheering us on to embody this alchemy.

Two days before the New Moon, I felt a very heavy energy and it felt like it wanted to consume me, discourage, and close the shutters on the light I saw through the window. I found myself being pulled down and ego wanted reason to stay in that, wallow and linger there, and even fully give up. I’d been aware of this energy for a while, but had managed to keep it at bay. Then it charged forth just like that Taurus bull, but with fiery eyes and sharp horns staring straight at me, I had to decide how to dance with him – would I fight the bull, tease and taunt it, run away from the bull, surrender to defeat by the bull, or?

I decided to use love and speak the language of the heart. I stepped into my vibrational frequency in order for personal alchemy to come through.

And this helped open a door that was closed before. It wasn’t the answer, but it created a way for something else to emerge.

From there, I still had the heaviness, even though I “bought” time and thoughts, visions, and feelings swirled within me. Ego still wanted a reason to linger there, but intuition stepped in.

I felt exhausted and betrayed by the energies unfolding. Being in nature always helps, especially being active outdoors, and so I did keep moving the energy and being curious about what it all meant.

Contrary to the ego voice, when I returned home, intuition told me to go out and do my wildflower seeding even though I felt like doing nothing. I immediately started feeling the energy shift and my energy rising, little by little. By the end, I was revitalized both with energy and perspective, and hope returned. This act that my intuition guided me toward, was a literal “seeding” of new intentions and potentials.

I watered them after.

The next day following, I did more outdoor activity and really moved the energy in a bigger way to the point of having conversations out loud with my star family and the Universe, as I hiked and passed through different stages of feelings. Nature was there to absorb and help recharge all that I released, and transmutation took shape.

After that vulnerable and raw release, even more perspective and doors opened, and although I didn’t actually arrive at any particular answer, there was possibility where there hadn’t felt to be any before.

And by the time the day of the New Moon arrived, energies continued to shift and soften and has continued as so.

Still no answers, but more was revealed and I can feel a way even though I don’t know what it is.

And through all of this I’ve had a lot of interesting messengers showing up, which point to my sensing the approach of one of the biggest shifts of my life upcoming.

This is all indicating a call to a new path opening and changes ahead.

And although you see me here, I have actually been more inner these days in order to recalibrate what I’m downloading and how that will look.

I don’t see what new world I’ll land in, but perhaps it’s a new one I’m creating as a creator, which will take some time to manifest.

Or, maybe it’s the world I remember best, calling me back.

Whenever I am on the precipice of major change, hawk shows up as both confirmation things are being supported behind the scenes and as guide to help me with passage between realms. The day after the heaviest of feelings, she flew above and landed atop a barren old tree in the clearing to make sure I saw her and waited for me. As I approached, she looked down and watched me the whole way to her. After I reached her and thanked her, she then took flight above me and circled for about three minutes, close, then farther, and back again. I could see her beautiful feathers clearly.

I’ve been spending a lot of extra time outdoors in receptive and releasing mode because, as I mentioned, it helps me to move energy and listen. If I’m not out on the trails, I’ve been heavily in my garden implementing new ideas, or in extra close communion with Astrid, my cocreator.

In my spare time, I’ve been completing one task at a time, finishing projects, and now stepping into reorganizing and redecorating my office, garage, closet, and kitchen pantry – all feeling right in line with the New Moon energies, as well as the earthing time.

As I shared earlier, the last five days have brought some interesting animal guides to me as messengers. Besides the unusual now THREE bald eagle sightings within less than two weeks, coyote crossed behind our house just as I looked up from the kitchen while cooking, a coyote pack howled close by while I was gardening, followed by an owl hooting in the trees, I found part of a skunk’s tail fur, a large piece of porcupine fur and quills, an old fallen bird’s nest, and

Old fallen bird’s nest and large piece of porcupine fur/quills
Same as above, but with addition of goose down feathers, beautiful dead moth, and skunk fur

discovered robins have returned and built a new nest at the same place above the eaves of the front door for their family.

There were also four turkey vultures that circled and coasted on the wind in front of us while we sat on a rock cliff overlooking Tahoe – that’s when the third eagle showed up right after being

chased by smaller birds – I found a beautiful dead moth in a box where some of my gardening things were kept in the garage that looked like it had been deliberately preserved, I found a plethora of various bird feathers (one appears to be hawk), including a soft, tender bunch of new goose down feathers from

geese friends that left it behind for me, Dave found a very large black raven feather while I connected with hawk, and six geese followed us, nested near us by the water and waited a few

hours for us to return from our bike ride. I also found a huge spider downstairs that was one of the biggest I’ve seen in a while and the first zebra swallowtail of the season glided toward us on the trail.

Then there’s this gorgeous, huge silvery “gray” squirrel who has been visiting profusely outside my office and in the garden. He’s quite the shape shifter and little wizard.

Here he is on the light just outside my office door, peeking in
Here he is on my garden bench – look at that gorgeous, huge, fluffy tail

Transformation is afoot in a very big and contrasting way, and I feel that the only way to navigate it all is to be in and create personal alchemy right now, as that’s all we have at our fingertips.

Knowing our own vibration and how to manage and raise it, becomes vital in these times.

I’m seeing how energies are trying to intervene and even confuse, deter, or try to block the new, but you truly can find another way.

Even if it just opens a door, or buys time, implementing intuitive being and your own inner muse frequency can ignite personal alchemy for change to ignite.

Sometimes you feel like softly closing your petals for a while and other times you bubble with exuberance to open them wide. Where ever you find yourself is perfect and doesn’t change this fact – a flower you are.

I’ve been observing my new tulips daily, watching as they open and close in response to the light and heat. They aren’t diminished by this contraction of tucking in for the night or folding up on a rainy day.

It’s a way to keep their pollen dry and protected so that when they do open to the next morning’s light, they are ready to dance with visiting pollinators and share their sweetness they have enriched to gift.

Rewriting Your Habits – Make “Being” the New Routine


We have learned to make a practice of many things out of habit and yet we aren’t in the habit of “being.”

We also don’t realize how every thing we say, do, think and feel have become habitual, which detracts from our innate abilities to “see.” Without being present in the awareness of the now, you lose conscious awareness that in each moment you actually have the opportunity to choose differently – new ways of speaking, behaving, doing, thinking and feeling – and to turn the tables of perspective. What is “out there” that is bothering you that you aren’t acknowledging “in here” about yourself? Everything has a message.

If you take a moment to briefly view yourself when you are about to do, say, think, or feel something, you can instantly create a powerfully pivotal potential for a probably reality that is more aligned with your natural authenticity.

If you make it a regular practice to choose with conscious awareness then it will become your way of life, just as everything else has so far. We are definitely well-versed in the habits of doing, as in routines we have been conditioned into, and dwelling or brooding, as in holding to or indulging in things rooted in the past or future. Yet, we have simply forgotten how powerful we innately are and how to “be” this.

Everything seems to have this finite quality, that makes no sense in an infinite universe. Is it any wonder why things don’t flow when we operate completely out of context to the realm we are naturally and collectively part of? And the more we don’t have the courage to even be curious about exploring something outside of our comfort zones, the more we blindly follow the herds of other unconscious decision-makers.

Whether conscious or unconscious, it all still is a choice that we make on some level. In any moment we can snap our fingers, pinch our cheeks, shake our heads and say, “This is the moment, I choose to write a new chapter” and then proceed to do so.

Me at the sacred ruins of Machu Picchu

Our ideas of time play a pivotal role as well. Everything seems to have these time limits run by a clock that has nothing to do with the natural harmony of things. It simply creates shackles of stress we carry and become tied to relentlessly, until we realize our ability to break free. Our concepts of time also ingeniously create the reason for “not living for the now,” putting off everything, and not living your potential. You give yourself the out and excuse for not being all you can be and shining your light because it’s just not time yet. But just when exactly is that magical time you can give yourself permission to “be” you?

I used to experience similar when I was operating from a limited, conditioned perspective and creating unnatural stress demands to fit into this notion of time. However, I have interestingly noticed the concept of “time” shifting, especially in dream “time.” There is definitely an acceleration taking place, but I’m also simultaneously experiencing the eternal moment that is drawing out time into a new experience of limitlessness. Likely this is mirroring both personal and collective shifts taking place.

In the past I’ve always felt like I hadn’t gotten enough sleep and the night went by in a flash and if I woke in the night and saw the clock, it was like, where did time fly? I wouldn’t feel I slept that long and that time had passed me by, and here I was exhausted and with another day of things contrived to do in time schedules.

However, this has reversed. I wake feeling like I slept long, greet the day in good spirits, and when I wake during the night I feel I’ve slept a whole night or for hours and that so much has taken place, and yet the clock has shown me asleep only an hour or two at a time. It leaves me in awe of how much I accomplished in my dreams and how deeply I slept in a short time period, still feeling refreshed and rested. This has carried over into my “waking” day as well.

All concepts of time are not part of the new experience. It is just the eternal moment that is. And in that eternal moment, to be present with how we are “being,” and choosing consciously and authentically, as well as finding the beauty, miracle and perfection of things now – not thinking how they will be perfect, when, if, etc.

Things are rapidly shifting indeed, and are channeling in different ways for each. Aside from noting that dream time is slowing down, I lose track of what day it is, the time, and can’t even remember simple things that just happened a couple days or hours ago, because, as we’ve heard over and over, this moment is so prevalent and is the only point of power. Everything can be shifted and transformed right here and now. And it is!

This is the reality in my own experience of life on all levels of work and personal relating. So many amazingly beautiful things have emerged and are developing, all from being anchored presently and consciously within my own experience and reality, despite anything, everything, and everyone around me and living my “beingness” more and more. Every aspect of my life has shifted and anything that my ingenious self-sabotaging ways (as we all have cleverly devised to avoid the really powerful core stuff) were amplifying for me, I took heart of their message and courageously faced, enabling me to harness creative alchemy into a mirror of my relationship with self. And the more this takes place, the more everything I desired is, and will continue to keep, manifesting. We all have this ability. It just needs to be exercised.

Staying rooted in the habits we have created that are unnaturally produced, can rob of our ability to be in the moment of our fullness and to feel the joy in even the smallest of things or from the most unusual of places you wouldn’t think they’d be. The awareness of simple pleasures reveals the miracle of life and the abundance of magic always present.

Wouldn’t it be of benefit to cultivate heightened awareness so that you embody the “habit of being” and find everything in life to have meaning? The only reason everything may seem to lack meaning is because you haven’t discovered the root of the meaning within yourself.

You can rewrite your book – including all of your experiences and ways of relating with self and others – by willing to courageously receive the good that is in front of you and start anew now.

The other day a man asked me what I thought was the best time of life.  “Why,” I answered without a thought, “now.”  ~David Grayson

Transformation can only take place immediately; the revolution is now, not tomorrow. ~Jiddu Krishnamurti

We are always getting ready to live but never living.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. ~Abraham Maslow

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