As we walked into the energy of May 11th’s New Moon, it called us to feel into the old and decide what heavy baggage we no longer wanted to carry forth into the new. With the Moon being in Taurus, the energy of what ever our personal goals and intentions were for entering this cycle, there was going to be a need for patience and grounding, since Earthy Taurus moves slowly. There would be a nudge toward more mindfulness and clarity on what you really want under the influence of this energy before actually proceeding, and a lot of persistent patience and trust would be in need of nurturing.
If you experienced a few more challenging, confusing or even darker days leading up to the New Moon, you’re not alone. I did, too, and others I heard from chimed in. It’s not unusual, in general, for that to culminate around this cycle, but there was something more going on that some of us sensitives seemed to notice that was riding along the currents as well.
What ever the themes and energies were that emerged for you, these I feel are sacred messages as to what’s to be alchemized not just for the lunar month, but also the journey at large, ahead.
You may have sensed a shift to more material and physical things to include your body, your home, daily, and simple routines or mundane things and these would both be helpful, as well as inspiring creative changes like redecorating, wearing new colors and styles, experimenting with new foods, and creating beauty all around you.
As creators, walking into the new we want to see, with trust and courage, is what’s needed – not knowing the end result and not knowing how, but moving into it and watching it work out in the moment. When in doubt, we will need to remember to foster words of gentle encouragement to ourselves and look inward to understand our personal alchemy. When feeling discouraged or lost, we may need to call upon support systems – on and/or off Earth, or simply from within.
While we may need to learn to be our own muse at times, there are many muses around us that can be uplifting and inspiring. Anything can be our muse – a person, animal, plant, color, energy, feeling, place, spirit guide, etc. They will carry codes of creation to spark new realities.
In any event, these are the times of the creators – you – and what we’re journeying deeper into is bringing forth personal alchemy in a way that helps make changes in your life more fun and with greater ease, which ultimately has an effect for the collective as well.
If you find yourself at a crossroads and unable to see what’s next, you’re not lost or alone. I find that the further we journey in these rapidly accelerated times, the less we’re going to have foretelling of what’s around the corner. We’re being invited into a different way of experience that leads from the heart’s alignment to spirit.
We’ve oscillated between choosing either mission or love (what’s the most far-reaching responsible and compassionate thing or where our heart tugs) and we are learning to merge these so there is no sacrifice.
It’s not just a human endeavor, but a cosmic journey we’re embarking on and helping to harmonize.
It also feels to be about going beyond black and white to play in the gray – the middle way.
It’s not a clear cut path, as we’re creating it as we go along and many are not only working with us, but awaiting and cheering us on to embody this alchemy.
Two days before the New Moon, I felt a very heavy energy and it felt like it wanted to consume me, discourage, and close the shutters on the light I saw through the window. I found myself being pulled down and ego wanted reason to stay in that, wallow and linger there, and even fully give up. I’d been aware of this energy for a while, but had managed to keep it at bay. Then it charged forth just like that Taurus bull, but with fiery eyes and sharp horns staring straight at me, I had to decide how to dance with him – would I fight the bull, tease and taunt it, run away from the bull, surrender to defeat by the bull, or?
I decided to use love and speak the language of the heart. I stepped into my vibrational frequency in order for personal alchemy to come through.
And this helped open a door that was closed before. It wasn’t the answer, but it created a way for something else to emerge.
From there, I still had the heaviness, even though I “bought” time and thoughts, visions, and feelings swirled within me. Ego still wanted a reason to linger there, but intuition stepped in.
I felt exhausted and betrayed by the energies unfolding. Being in nature always helps, especially being active outdoors, and so I did keep moving the energy and being curious about what it all meant.
Contrary to the ego voice, when I returned home, intuition told me to go out and do my wildflower seeding even though I felt like doing nothing. I immediately started feeling the energy shift and my energy rising, little by little. By the end, I was revitalized both with energy and perspective, and hope returned. This act that my intuition guided me toward, was a literal “seeding” of new intentions and potentials.
I watered them after.
The next day following, I did more outdoor activity and really moved the energy in a bigger way to the point of having conversations out loud with my star family and the Universe, as I hiked and passed through different stages of feelings. Nature was there to absorb and help recharge all that I released, and transmutation took shape.
After that vulnerable and raw release, even more perspective and doors opened, and although I didn’t actually arrive at any particular answer, there was possibility where there hadn’t felt to be any before.
And by the time the day of the New Moon arrived, energies continued to shift and soften and has continued as so.
Still no answers, but more was revealed and I can feel a way even though I don’t know what it is.
And through all of this I’ve had a lot of interesting messengers showing up, which point to my sensing the approach of one of the biggest shifts of my life upcoming.
This is all indicating a call to a new path opening and changes ahead.
And although you see me here, I have actually been more inner these days in order to recalibrate what I’m downloading and how that will look.
I don’t see what new world I’ll land in, but perhaps it’s a new one I’m creating as a creator, which will take some time to manifest.
Or, maybe it’s the world I remember best, calling me back.
Whenever I am on the precipice of major change, hawk shows up as both confirmation things are being supported behind the scenes and as guide to help me with passage between realms. The day after the heaviest of feelings, she flew above and landed atop a barren old tree in the clearing to make sure I saw her and waited for me. As I approached, she looked down and watched me the whole way to her. After I reached her and thanked her, she then took flight above me and circled for about three minutes, close, then farther, and back again. I could see her beautiful feathers clearly.
I’ve been spending a lot of extra time outdoors in receptive and releasing mode because, as I mentioned, it helps me to move energy and listen. If I’m not out on the trails, I’ve been heavily in my garden implementing new ideas, or in extra close communion with Astrid, my cocreator.
In my spare time, I’ve been completing one task at a time, finishing projects, and now stepping into reorganizing and redecorating my office, garage, closet, and kitchen pantry – all feeling right in line with the New Moon energies, as well as the earthing time.
As I shared earlier, the last five days have brought some interesting animal guides to me as messengers. Besides the unusual now THREE bald eagle sightings within less than two weeks, coyote crossed behind our house just as I looked up from the kitchen while cooking, a coyote pack howled close by while I was gardening, followed by an owl hooting in the trees, I found part of a skunk’s tail fur, a large piece of porcupine fur and quills, an old fallen bird’s nest, and
discovered robins have returned and built a new nest at the same place above the eaves of the front door for their family.
There were also four turkey vultures that circled and coasted on the wind in front of us while we sat on a rock cliff overlooking Tahoe – that’s when the third eagle showed up right after being
chased by smaller birds – I found a beautiful dead moth in a box where some of my gardening things were kept in the garage that looked like it had been deliberately preserved, I found a plethora of various bird feathers (one appears to be hawk), including a soft, tender bunch of new goose down feathers from
geese friends that left it behind for me, Dave found a very large black raven feather while I connected with hawk, and six geese followed us, nested near us by the water and waited a few
hours for us to return from our bike ride. I also found a huge spider downstairs that was one of the biggest I’ve seen in a while and the first zebra swallowtail of the season glided toward us on the trail.
Then there’s this gorgeous, huge silvery “gray” squirrel who has been visiting profusely outside my office and in the garden. He’s quite the shape shifter and little wizard.
Transformation is afoot in a very big and contrasting way, and I feel that the only way to navigate it all is to be in and create personal alchemy right now, as that’s all we have at our fingertips.
Knowing our own vibration and how to manage and raise it, becomes vital in these times.
I’m seeing how energies are trying to intervene and even confuse, deter, or try to block the new, but you truly can find another way.
Even if it just opens a door, or buys time, implementing intuitive being and your own inner muse frequency can ignite personal alchemy for change to ignite.
Sometimes you feel like softly closing your petals for a while and other times you bubble with exuberance to open them wide. Where ever you find yourself is perfect and doesn’t change this fact – a flower you are.
I’ve been observing my new tulips daily, watching as they open and close in response to the light and heat. They aren’t diminished by this contraction of tucking in for the night or folding up on a rainy day.
It’s a way to keep their pollen dry and protected so that when they do open to the next morning’s light, they are ready to dance with visiting pollinators and share their sweetness they have enriched to gift.
What do you get when you take a fish out of water, put the fish on the highest snowy mountain peak in sight, and ask her to find her way home? She begins to remember her essence, applies it to what ever surrounding she finds herself in, and starts to transform into the mythical sea goat her ascendant, North Node, and First House Mars foretold she could be.
Or, something like that. 😉
Truth be told, the short story of irony I’m about to tell is one I did not foresee being one I would tell. And yet, I feel guided to share it for the seed it might plant in any one of you who also may have fears or doubts about what is possible, as I’ve always strongly believed that our greatest fears hold the greatest alchemy for us. In fact, I feel that our greatest fears are the doorways to our gifts and potentials.
I’ve seen that transmutation with things like my fear of public speaking, which turned into teaching, leading retreats, being interviewed on radio shows and video spots, coaching others, creating a YouTube channel of my own, and even openly sharing in various forums or platforms like this.
But skiing? I had pretty much accepted it just might not be my thing and was okay with that.
As many of you know who so sweetly follow along with my journeys, skiing is likely close to the bottom of my list of things I would have considered doing well. I didn’t grow up doing it, I didn’t start to really ski more consistently until the last two to three years – I’m now 48, and I had layers of fears around it that at times were debilitating when first I tried my hand at it.
This fish – I’m a Pisces – was more comfortable in liquid water rather than on frozen water even though I loved the enchantment of it.
That is, until my Capricorn stepped in to help me merge into that sea goat.
Fast forward to 2021 and I find myself on a nine week “ski safari,” as Dave likes to call it, and unknowingly to me, this presented the opportunity to embrace, hide, or run away from my fears. The sea goat-to-be decided to embrace it and hence began the daily consistent journey of supporting myself through a different layer of growth for the next chapter in my life.
I made a decision to transform my relationship with fear and skiing and reprogram a whole new way of nurturing myself that would make it fun, gentle, encouraging, and unconditional. I spent the last eight weeks really listening to myself, understanding my feelings, and developing a consistent practice and system of trust and support that translated into a natural progression of greater confidence, comfortability, and the surprising personal skill to get down a mountain that I wouldn’t have thought was possible.
I still wouldn’t call myself a great skier with amazing form, but that was never the goal. My intention was to create an inner trust and way that worked with who I am so that I could experience the natural out of something that once felt very unnatural.
But even greater than not seeing that coming, was not seeing what unfolded next, which just so happened to take place the day before and on my birthday.
We had a surprise visit from one of Dave’s law school friends and his girlfriend who happened to be finishing up a short ski trip in Park City, Utah and were on their way to visit his family near Boulder, Colorado. They decided to stop a couple of days near us and didn’t know it was my birthday. So, in fact they ended up being with us to celebrate and we met them at Copper Mountain where they were staying, so that we could ski with them for two days.
His girlfriend is a beginner skier, also learning late in life like me. She’s three years older than I am and just started last January in Lake Tahoe. She’s only skied half a dozen times and has taken several lessons. So, it was a good match for me to ski with her while Dave and his friend skied together.
What I had no idea would happen, though, was the two days turned into me teaching her. She didn’t ask me and I didn’t set out to do it. It just naturally evolved and the result was something neither of us expected.
But let me repeat that…the two days turned into me teaching her. What?!
Somehow the self trust and confidence I had built within myself the last eight weeks, alongside the self nurturing and transparent vulnerability and understanding of my fears had created a bridge between me and her. It was an unspoken language that my heart understood during the first two minutes I watched her ski. And a camaraderie of nurturing ignited instantaneously and the teacher side of me found a new channel to lovingly work through.
It didn’t matter if I was “expert” at this skiing thing or not. I had personal experience and tender understanding about what was running through her. I saw her as me and I knew how I had nurtured my own inner child through this, so this experience was simply another version of that inner child I naturally gravitated toward and vice versa.
What unfolded within literally ten minutes almost made both of us cry.
She looked at me with the hugest smile and sparkle in her eyes (we were wearing our face coverings so that’s all we could see of each other) and said, “Oh my gosh Tania. This is the first time I’ve ever been able to make turns. This is the first time anyone has ever told me what you just did. I can’t thank you enough. You’re such a good teacher because you explain things the way I understand them.”
To say I was humbled by what she said is an understatement….I nearly fell over because the irony of this shocked me. I merely felt what she was going through and relayed things as I would have to myself. Nothing fancy, just from the heart in a simple way.
She had been used to expecting she would fall, expecting to have fear, and just holding her breath, ploughing straight down steep parts, and hoping for the best. She had no confidence. Her trust was in the fact that falling was normal and fear would always control her.
After just one, long run together she was a completely different person on skis and she went from a past history of multiple crash falls and landings to only one small, gentle fall on the first two runs we did together, to not one fall on the third.
But more importantly, she was smiling huge, excited, felt confident, and was finally having fun!
I was floored because it was the last thing I would have expected and yet it actually seemed to make sense when I thought about it.
It’s not that I know all there is about skiing because I hardly know anything, but I know fear and I know processes. What I learned was a step-by-step way to address and explain things so that a better relationship could be developed with something new and scary. I knew that creating a bridge to more confidence and what would support that best, was where to start. The rest would naturally evolve.
She went on to tell her boyfriend and Dave that she’s had what she considered not great and good instructors, but I had done what neither had been able to.
It’s still actually hard for me to even say or write this because it’s challenging to see how this happened and so it makes me want to giggle in disbelief. And yet, we both witnessed, and her boyfriend did too on the second day, the progress she made.
He actually thanked me when we arrived on day two, my birthday, after doing one run with her, saying “Wow Tania. You really upped her game. She’s made huge progress. I don’t know what you did – hypnotized her or something – but thank you.”
You can imagine the laugh Dave and I had when we returned to the car on our own and I said, “I guess I’m a ski instructor now?!”
On our second day together, and first run of that day, she had a moment where her ski hit a round ice ball on the steepest part of the run. This, as you might surmise and is quite natural, put her back into a place of fear. So, it started to make her second run more challenging, as that fear thought was lingering with her and wondering if it would happen again. She began to lose confidence.
I knew that place very well, too. Those little setbacks when you have a different day, things feel different, conditions are different, etc. These are times that call for you to double back and navigate things from the beginning again in a way that feels nurturing instead of pushy or judgmental.
I started to do that with her and explained how it was okay…natural…but we could work with that. And we did. We talked through things and she took it step-by-step, including just looking a few feet in front of her to navigate her path rather than at the whole landscape, and then following closely behind me as I took a very slow and deliberate run like I’d done the day before that helped her feel guided to focus on rather than her fear. She mirrored me and we were as one.
She shared her gratitude for helping her through the fear and explained she felt so much better.
Once again, she looked at me with the hugest smile and sparkle in her eyes and I knew she was having fun again.
And that my friends, is priceless.
On yesterday’s Chinese New Year of the Ox (my native zodiac), day thirty of skiing this Winter season, while protected and overseen by Ullr, the Norse God of Snow, I hit a milestone on my journey with fear. The fear I’m referring to has to do with heights associated with being on edges like riding chair lifts and skiing down mountain runs. The milestone was going down a Black Diamond run for the very first time and having fun doing it.
For anyone new to skiing, as I was, ski slope colors refer to the steepness of the gradient and the level of difficulty. Green is Beginner, Blue is Intermediate, and Black is Expert. That said, there are many levels in between and these are very loose terms in my opinion, as I see people of all levels on various runs. Also, you don’t have to be what you think might be considered an “expert” to go on a Black Diamond run. You simply, in my opinion, need to have courage, but indeed you need to have some level of skill to safely get down, especially in terms of turning and being in control. “Double” of any color means more challenging…for instance a Double Green is more like a Blue or Intermediate with more steepness, and so on. I find also that every ski resort has different ideas about what they think each level is and where you might not feel comfortable on some in one resort, on others you would. So you need to ask questions to the staff and explore for yourself. Also, I find some Green runs at resorts to mostly be cat tracks – paths used to move around the mountain, rather than actual runs. I tend to not like these and don’t consider them really great for learning to ski because they are narrow and don’t really allow for turns and practice. And if conditions aren’t great, they can be icy too. That said, they ARE sometimes the only way down the mountain so are necessary to be familiar with.
If I had to label my level of skiing I’d say I’m at the beginning end of Intermediate. However, I like how Jeffrey Weidel breaks down the three main color-coded levels further into nine levels, which speaks to me more. According to his breakdown, I’m at Level 4, edging ever-so slowly into Level 5.
But these are just ways of understanding categories and to give you a little understanding of things in reference to the main theme here – working with fear.
So, back to that milestone I hit yesterday, which to me isn’t just about a fear of heights and edges, but spoke to my making friends with fear in general and how I have been teaching myself to navigate it on my own terms.
As I mentioned in my last blog, “my skiing approach is one of enjoyment, not achievement.” And this has been the key for me in how to reprogram fear, no matter what the fear involves.
It’s also about honoring my needs and supporting that.
Rather than take something I’m afraid of and try to make it a system of how to progress to achieve a certain level or status, I’ve made it purely fun without any agenda, and my learning to be something I’ve decided to be my own coach of so that I can provide the kind of nurturing and motivation I know speaks to my inner little girl – a marriage of the wise adult and the innocent child. I become my own parent or instructor based on the knowledge of my fears and how I can engage them to feel safe and join me, rather than want to run away.
That doesn’t mean that getting a good ski instructor isn’t a good idea. Ski instructors are great no matter what level you’re at, to help refresh or take you to new levels. However, I’ve found that for me at this point, my own coaching is most nurturing, as part of the repatterning I am doing has to do with my approach to things. So, having someone overseeing and controlling that right now isn’t helpful. I have had a few instructors in the past and retained the basics from them, but I also learned from those experiences that this is the more supportive approach right now for me. I also learned a lot more by skiing with Dave and what he’s shown me. He’s an amazing skier. So with the basics, I’ve been able to formulate my process intuitively and gently support growth.
You see, in the past I learned to “perform” and in many cases push through something with an old “race horse” mentality that quite literally was engrained within my soul history from lives as just that. It wasn’t about how I felt, but what I felt I needed to do – in many cases being for someone else and not myself. It was that old “suck it up” and dishonor what your feelings and process are, in place of what you are either told you should do, or is driven only by achieving.
I began to slowly reprogram that approach nearly 15 years ago, upon discovering it, but skiing has been the best gauge of change with this for me and the biggest leaps of progress from my work have come in the last few years. And this year, when the opportunity came from this Winter immersion adventure we’ve been on, I’ve been able to really bear witness to my process because of having so many consecutive days of skiing.
The most I’d ever skied in a season, previous to now, was sixteen days. The last two years sixteen days was my max and previous to that in the first years of my starting at this I had only skied a handful of days each season. Not enough to really shift a pattern. And with thirty days under my belt this year, it’s provided that consistent focus and commitment I believe anything takes if you really want to change something. I still have another fifteen possible days to add to this for 2021. So this year really is monumental for supporting transformation.
Without going into all of the details of how I’ve been retraining myself, my basic approach is to honor my feelings, consistently repeat runs over and over and over in a flowing way at levels I feel comfortable with that have a slight stretch to them (in this way making them feel more natural to me and giving me lots of repetitive practice), taking my time, enjoying nature all around me, staying ultra present, talking gently to myself and even giggling the whole way to help make adjustments where needed and to keep things light, pausing to take it all in, and celebrating the moments.
I explore different little off-sections of trails to introduce change so that I can feel the unknown a bit, but at my own choice. And when there’s a slightly more challenging run connected to my path, I will slowly introduce it by trying it once in between my runs. Even if I don’t do it again, it’s my way of stretching into the new space to support growth. Usually what I find is that when I do that, I actually return to my usual run with greater ease, skill and confidence. And if I feel like something isn’t going right or I don’t like the runs or conditions, I will not push anything. I do only what I feel safe and comfortable with, then stop.
Since skiing doesn’t come natural to me, being that I didn’t grow up doing it and don’t have any muscle memory, as they say, for it, I am having to create that now.
But the key in all of this is enjoying the process. If it’s not fun, then it becomes work and feels like the old way of force.
This is why I will also stop along the way to take in sights I see, explore, notice the details of the terrain and little fun things like the Gnomes you saw in my last post.
And yesterday was proof that my confidence and relationship to fear had shifted hugely when I decided to try the Black Diamond run.
There was build-up to this, as several days ago we were skiing at this same resort and I overhead some guys telling their girlfriend that the Black Diamond run next to where I was skiing was considered an “easy” Black run. Normally that wouldn’t get my attention, as I would have a huge block to Black. And many times I have the same block to a lot of the Blue runs too. So, I spent my day observing the Black run they mentioned while I rode up the ski lift because I could see the whole thing from that vantage point. I kept taking in the pitch of the slope, watched people ski down it at various levels including my own, and mentally was processing it.
I told Dave about it after we left the resort that day and that I was curious about trying it, but didn’t want to do it alone if I did. I never like to be on something steep by myself in case I fall.
On Friday we were actually supposed to go to a different resort – you have to make reservations with Covid – but due to snowy weather and the longer drive to that resort we decided to cancel and go back to the place that had the curious Black Diamond run and where Ullr, the Norse God of Snow directs his guardian aim because it was closer.
After skiing the runs I practice on for a bit, I asked Dave to try the Black run and tell me what he thought. He did and I remained curious. I didn’t feel a block or a huge “no” in me, but continued to have curiosity and felt like it was a good chance to try something more difficult. I felt that there was reason I had overhead the other people mention it, as if I hadn’t heard that I wouldn’t have thought it possible. And the only reason I was curious was because they said it was an easy Black Diamond, which Dave confirmed. Plus, I obviously had built up courage from all of my consistent practice.
That said, I still knew I was in for some steep terrain. However, I’ve been practicing like heck and feel confident with my control and turns even if not done like a graceful swan. I also had just gotten my skis tuned up and they felt better than ever to carve those turns.
So, I went for it. On my own accord. It wasn’t anyone else’s idea. I wasn’t forced. I chose it and was curious about it. Curiosity invites wonder and innocence to stay with us and softens the seriousness or feeling of pressure.
And off I went, with Dave staying with me to the side just in case.
In the past I would have froze, cried, stopped and took my skis off and walked down, or perhaps even fallen.
None of these happened and in fact I saw how both my practice had supported my ability to make slow, in control turns and my consistency and fun approach took the edge off of fear.
I still felt my heart beat, but I knew I could do it and I did. I was in control of my experience.
It was a huge celebration of what for me was monumental in experiencing the shift that had taken place.
I returned to the run I was doing before it and I saw how much better and even quicker I was getting down, after stretching my curiosity on the Black Diamond run.
I celebrated my milestone and Dave did too.
This is a post about possibility.
That you can learn anything at any age – I’ll be 48 in just a couple of weeks and didn’t start to really ski until my 40’s.
That you can move through any fear – my fear of heights is not little, but I’ve learned to find ways to walk hand-in-hand with it, rather than push it away or avoid it.
After having a little over a week to integrate one of my recent dreams and adding to it a second precognitive one, I continue to see how the animal world shows up in ways that help to understand messages and energetic landscapes we’re navigating. I’ve mentioned before how I feel animals and nature being messengers to help bridge the changes we are going through – bringing more grounding to the new visionary and spiritual ideas we are trying to manifest.
For me, I have always had very powerful dreams and experiences come through souls in the animal kingdom since I was a little girl. I remember recurring childhood dreams I used to have over and over about a giant blue whale, a horse that aided the little girl me through challenges, and ongoing animal messengers ever since. Many of these dreams have included precognitive and telepathic messages that I shouldn’t have known otherwise. These also happen without animals being involved, but more so with them. I often relay my dreams with people who are involved and surprisingly receive confirmations of details – sometimes exact conversations – dreamtime makes me privy to. They’ve also come through extraterrestrial dream experience sequences, but these are translating into more Earthly origins now – I believe in order to help drop into embodiment more and integrate spirit and flesh.
The first dream I mentioned having, felt collectively symbolic. It involved a very large herd of giant, wild, exotic, and prehistoric animals and dinosaurs all running from the trees on land, across the sand, and into a large water source – perhaps the ocean. They were not fleeing, nor had fear…they were simply running with focus into plain view on a very long, open stretch of sand. I remember having a similar dream before in the past, but this current one involved dinosaurs. In the dream I was not far from the stream of animals charging the water in harmony together (predator and prey alike) – a few yards at most, but was safely out of their way observing the scene. There was no danger imminent for me and I didn’t have any sense of fear. I stood there curiously watching the incredible vision of animals from across the globe and time – giant elephants, giraffes, other exotics, and then mixed amongst them were dinosaurs – many Brontosaurus and T-Rex in particular.
When I saw a bunch of T-Rex I felt to take precaution by finding protection under cover of what seemed similar to an over-turned, old military jeep – not from any real threat or fear, but from the unknown of their very primal energy. I laid low under it with a few other people that were now with me, creating a boundary between us. One T-Rex broke away from the very focused group heading to the ocean, and came over just like my instincts felt might happen.
He sniffed at the overturned jeep, finding the top of my head near an open part of the vehicle – not large enough to get at it, but enough to be able to smell and touch it. He sniffed at my head and then began to lick it, but didn’t do anything else even though he easily could have overturned the vehicle. I could hear him telepathically saying he was only teasing and not going to hurt me. Eventually he went on his way and I came out from under the vehicle to continue watching the animals soar by.
When I awoke I immediately felt these wild animals and dinosaurs reflected very old and primal collective core patterns, energies, and fears all moving through as part of the clearing initiation for big changes to come. Just like fossils, we continue to dig up these untamed aspects of self buried within the collective shared pool, primitive energies and desires, and deep survival instincts that have been running unconsciously. And this is what we continue to experience out in the world as a reflection of a huge purge of truths no longer desiring to be hidden.
Their running from the land to the ocean (collective energy water source) feels both like a cleansing or baptism of sorts, but also a movement from focusing only on the surface of things to acknowledging the emotional undercurrents that have long been running the show. The way to change is by having all of our parts revealed, acknowledged, embraced, and integrated. So this movement to water energy (deep core emotional and subconscious patterning), which has always felt like the missing key to building new foundations, felt like a good reveal in the dream. Unearthing the roots of things and not being afraid to face the feelings that have been hidden with them.
T-Rex prominence felt the most primal and ferocious of them all, showing me that we have yet more to see of this purge in energies across the globe and that the deepest and most raw things are finally being let free. However, the interaction confirmed for me that these energies only hurt us if we try to run from them, dismiss, fight, or even deny them. There’s a sense of their wanting acknowledgment and understanding of their place within the framework.
There was also a sense of a very deep crown chakra activation and DNA redesign that came through T-Rex with the sniffs and licks – much like my rabbits do when they channel Reiki through their noses and tongues. It is my sense that a literal physical mutation is taking place even though we may not see it yet. I believe we are and will continue to experience more accessibility to the light codes within our origins, as these temporal layers peel back and merge with the filaments of love.
Challenges give rise to who we really are and what is possible.
A huge frequency change is taking place, restructuring things from the core.
At least this is the message I received in interpretation. Everyone may interpret things differently and indeed there is more that is beyond words to describe.
The very next morning after the dream, while traveling to our new destination that week, I saw what felt like confirmation. We were journeying along the highway in remote, snow covered areas and I “randomly” saw a T-Rex skeleton statue on the corner of a street, in the middle of no where. It looked like the fossil statues you see in museums, but made of metal standing in the snowy mountain terrain. It was so out of place and yet it aligned with the message I received. That’s why it was meant to get my attention.
And if that wasn’t enough, right when we crossed the border into Colorado I saw a sign for Rabbit Valley while I held Astrid on my lap in her travel case (my soul companions in rabbit bodies that have returned to the Cosmos always send supportive messages and winks to me) and directly after it, a sign for “Dinosaur Museum” – again “randomly” out in the middle of no where.
Every time I would have a thought, come to some conclusion, or formulate an intent or understanding, the exact word, words, and visions would appear or be uttered within seconds of my having them – sometimes at the very same time. This of course is something that happens often for many of us – these synchronicities and instant manifestations – however it is increasing in frequency alignment and uncanniness, which speaks to me of multi-dimensional realities all merging.
Two days following that dream (on the six year adoption anniversary of my rabbit Cosmo who has departed) I woke with this out of the blue, heavy feeling of anxiety that stayed with me for hours until I skied these long luxurious runs in complete solitude at Telluride and later did a Reiki Healing Attunement. I checked in with myself to see where I might have any anxious feelings and determined that because of recent more vulnerable spaces I have reached, I in fact was feeling the collective. This spoke to the dream unearthing all of that old collective stuff and how I’ve recently felt like many of us are each buffering some of the energy, which likely is helping things not to ferociously explode more than it has for now. Evidence given by T-Rex and his actions with me in my dream.
And from the first full touchdown day in the new location after having the dream, until the last day before we left, there were daily visitations by so much wildlife. This included an unusual sighting, right before we got to our destination, of a couple hundred giant birds – what appeared to us as Great Blue Heron – in flocks feasting in fields along the road. We’ve never seen anything like it. I didn’t have my camera ready, so only caught a few of them at the tail end as you can see here. Our limited familiarity with the area pointed us to what we are familiar with seeing, but it appears these were most likely Greater Sandhill Cranes – the only species out of 15 types of cranes – that are found in this area.
These giant birds echo prehistoric flying reptiles of the past – and again felt like a tie-in with my dream seeing so many together in an odd display and having that ancient connection. They also speak to me of the Mystic, embodying so much stillness, serenity, grace, peace, and especially reflect solitude. Synchronously, the whole week following their appearance was a huge week of just that for me – solitude. And this helped to allow things to percolate and digest behind the scenes, while I was able to just “be.”
For some, that kind of alone time can be intimidating or isolating. For me, it’s deepening, connective, clarifying, and recharging.
I skied virtually on my own without hardly a soul, and most of the time no other souls, around me on these very long runs. One of them was 4.6 miles long and wandered through the winter wonderland that felt almost apocalyptic, as there was complete silence other than the soft swooshing of snow beneath my feet and not a person to be seen on the runs, nor in the village surrounding me.
It was like a journey in some far away deserted, faery tale land over and under bridges and softly flowing along in hours of silence.
And all of this supported that wave of collective energy I felt come over me at onset of the week and the continued theme of anxiety in a different form that came at the end of the week, which is part of the next dream.
It felt almost like the world didn’t exist other than my being able to feel the underlying energies very transparently last week. And interestingly, I was daily riding a lift named Sunshine Express, which complimented the lift you saw me share about previously named Moonbeam Express that I rode on the New Moon. In each case, riding the wave of a celestial new dawning.
The area of Telluride, Ridgway and Ouray we were in is truly majestic. I remember it from our RV days in the Magick Bus and some of the enchantment we experienced there including the rare encounter with a black shape shifting fox that seemed to be the doorway of big change on that trip.
The high altitudes always speak to my essence – the summit of Telluride is 13,150 and feels like home.
And speaking of home, we felt very welcomed in the area with all of the animal messengers of the week that showed up for us including two prairie dogs, many large marsh hawks, a bald eagle, seven herds of elk, four small flocks of wild turkey, and a sweet doe and fawn that we saw three days in a row in the very same place each time. The last time they were laying together, nearly nose to nose, under some brush.
Each animal carrying beautiful medicine for the journey and weaving a story of integrative transformation to help navigate the collective shift of energies that I was receiving through dream and waking life. They each showed up at aligned times that reflected just the perfect confirmation or support needed.
I wasn’t always camera-ready, but caught a few photos to share.
And on our first day out in the new area last week, while hiking in a soft snow storm, we were trying to find a trail along the river and ended up making our own for a bit. That’s when we stumbled upon Kuan Yin.
This Goddess or Mother of Compassion is very strongly connected to the animal kingdom and forces of nature and is known as “she who hears the cries of the world”.
Might her surprise appearance hidden out in the snow where no one else was wandering have also echoed my dream in messaging the need for each of us to call forth the depths of compassion for self and other during this shift we are sharing?
That this kind of heart opening is ever-more important while the world purges the painful past and old memories that have been locked away?
A way to be bridges for one another and to bridge the pain back to wholeness.
This leads me to my precognitive dream that involved Astrid, but came to be about so much more. I will share that in the upcoming Part 2, later this week.
Until then, I wish you all your own little “peace” of solitude in these deeply transformative times.
Happy February! This is my birthday month so it’s always clarifying for me of the themes ahead and today, Imbolc, is always a special day I remember each year because it was my twin soul’s birthday – you know her in her rabbit form as Nestor.
And with a new month rolls in new highlights for us to navigate the days ahead by. Lee comes to us once again with beautiful lighthouse nuggets.
You may be tired of hearing about it, but yes, self nurturing continues to be key. Lee stresses the utter importance of active, regular self care and how it simply isn’t a luxury. If you don’t put this into place, the shifts that are continuing to unfold collectively are going to continue to force you into a corner instead of you aligning with the upgrades more harmoniously. I’m seeing this with clients and students who are receiving the not so subtle nudges in this direction. Change can be made easier and quicker when we take action toward the messages coming our way.
Lee also touches on a lot of great energetics including how manifestation and creation energies are getting stronger by the day, chaos is serving a purpose where the rise of consciousness is concerned, and how we’re learning what true connection is through all of the challenge.
Days to me have felt suspended recently, like time outside of time, or as if a bubble of incubation hovers around things. We are all going through varying degrees of transformation, which is like an initiatory phase of accelerated being in motion. It feels like this acceleration is exposing so much of the dramatic experiences all around and within us that have created divide from the underlying layers of pain being exposed so rawly. Duality has been so deeply engrained that we’ve forgotten our true unified nature, and the inner conflict of reconciling these reveals being unleashed more and more is the culprit behind finger-pointing.
Change occurs with conscious responsibility and compassionate embrace. I believe that the more honesty we can incorporate into our reflections, the greater the potential for empowered experiences.
I can feel how fertile the energetic landscape is right now to support new beginnings. Our very DNA is undergoing profound activations streaming through at the cosmic levels and with all of the light codes permeating at these deep levels, we’re bound to experience profound, surprising, and yet interestingly familiar waves of energy available for manifesting at new levels we haven’t yet known in this lifetime.
It feels like the more we can move with the waves, rather than resist them, the easier change will be. You know how hard it is to swim upstream or to go against the ocean’s currents. The same holds true for life. And while it might feel like a personal badge of honor to say you succeeded in bucking the flow, it might also be counterproductive to your energy reserves and where that energy could better serve the greater good.
Old patterns are no longer going to be sustainable or endurable. The more rapid things shift, the more rapidly we will see the unsustainable and misaligned fall apart. This is part of transformation and the better we become at lovingly releasing attachments to rigid and limited ideas, the better equipped we’ll be to handle the rapid change and the quicker we’ll put into place creative new systems that support humanity’s inevitable evolution.
We’re being shown that more harmonious relationships are of utmost importance to nurture with all of existence – human, animal, plant, mineral, planetary, and cosmic. Through pain and suffering, we’ve been given opportunity to rise together, realize our potentials, and live with more profound consciousness and sensitive awareness.
I believe that the more we can deepen into our hearts, the more love can anchor across Earth. And if that is the only thing we each do, it will be more than enough.
And speaking of rapid changes and alignment, I do a lot of reflection while I’m in solitude up on the mountain and because of some things I was tuning into, I felt to share this to my Instagram page recently, which also feels supportive to today’s inspired blog share:
Beautiful expanses that nurture possibility remind me that ultra presence is part of being and truly being is alignment. This state of being is powerful for manifesting, but we are still able to manifest even if we aren’t yet feeling fully in the power of our being because the energetic field of experience is accelerated. This is also why what we manifest can end up feeling like a challenge because it asks us to rise with the new and that might mean some rapid changes are in order.
Since intentions are so powerful and manifesting is more instant, it is equally as important when asking for things, to be mindful of how you would also like to receive them and to understand that what the highest good is, may be different than what you’re attached to thinking it should be.
Perhaps adding, “with gentle grace please,” would be more supportive for your process rather than saying, “bring it!”
And realize that the essence of your desire is what’s key – not the end result.
Manifesting change comes through alignment and things conspire to create that alignment, which includes bringing you what matches that in essence or can get you there in wholeness.
I’m also feeling to throw in a reminder to each of you not to forget both the tools you have available and the power of simply sharing the art of being you through the vortex of your heart. These will help with creatively manifesting the new, aligning with the rapid changes, and walking through any challenges that arise along the way with greater ease and grace.
My Reiki students are quite familiar with hearing me remind them of not only using their gift of Reiki, but more specifically (for Reiki 3 students) not to forget those Reiki Healing Attunements you learned. I still can’t tell you how many people do forget all the tools they have in their empowerment pockets. When crises hit, it’s easy to get knocked off balance and feel confused or unclear. But if you can gently remind yourself that all the years you’ve spent learning things, all the experiences you’ve gone through, and all the classes or books you’ve taken or read are always at hand and within you, you can help to shift a moment of feeling disempowered to a moment of renewed strength, hope, and cocreative influence. Even if that’s simply a moment of greater presence and pause, that can be a game changer in shifting your perspective and diffusing a trigger.
Reiki Healing Attunements continue to be one of the most powerful tools I use and they really aren’t intimidating if you practice them a little each day/week. It will make a big difference once you become familiar with the process as a bridge to support any of your goals.
Remember to be creative with any tool you utilize, including your Reiki practice, and broaden beyond the fundamentals. Allow your intuition to guide you and the natural healer and light being within you to formulate new levels of activation that have even greater potential. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and implement wider perspectives.
There’s no greater supported time to harness your gifts than now.
Remember also that with accelerated experience and instant manifestation potentials comes also the acceleration of your practices. You can achieve results from minutes of highly heart-engaged intention for the highest good. It doesn’t have to take long to be impactful.
Being is our power and we’re learning to make everything an instant state of being, which includes the way we move energy through us and harness tools or practices of any kind that we choose.
Another thing I felt to address in today’s post that feels interwoven with the themes channeling through so far, is a little inside look at the process of change, moving through fears, and embracing growth.
I’ll reference my personal experience I’ve been working on since the start of this year – facing and growing through my fears associated with skiing and being on steep edges. Again, I’m going to reshare a post I did on Instagram last week, as the message feels pertinent:
There is an ebb and flow to things that is natural. Sometimes it can feel like taking two steps back amidst your momentum, but these are just moments of pause to readjust, check in with your process, go deeper, celebrate your growth, and/or prepare you for the next leap. I experienced my most challenging day last week right after my funnest and most progressed day. The terrain and icy conditions, along with “accidentally” getting on an advanced track/run I shouldn’t have, put all my fears on the table at once.
We were trying to get me across a new mountain we were skiing to something better for me, but my higher self had a plan for this. I ended up on the weirdest track I’ve ever seen that was like the bottom half of a tunnel – similar to a birth canal – that was all icy from end to end, had moguls, was narrow body width, steep, and there was even an area where a tree had fallen down across the track with a tiny opening that had been cut in it to get through. Needless to say it was my worst nightmare, but I managed to hold it together, the Universe helped out of the blue with a manifestation that helped me at one point, I was able to consciously talk myself through it, and I got down safely with the experience of a definite shift having taken place.
In the past, this would have made me break down and cry and maybe even need serious help getting down after I likely would have froze from fear. But the experience, instead, became a chance for me to harness my process I have learned, which ended up keeping me safe and not falling, as well as able to stay focused and keep methodically present so that unconscious feelings were acknowledged, but not my guiding force.
I was able to cradle them with the loving strength of a father (productive Capricorn energies at work) and trust that I could support that part of me and inner child through. And I did.
And although the rest of the day continued in a similar fashion because of conditions and terrain, I managed to stick to it with slow encouragement and adjustments and took pause and stopped when I felt to.
By honoring and embracing these periods of change, I was able to make the most out of it and not push myself, but rather just work with what I had and not care about needing to have it be a certain way or like the day before. I embraced that different is okay and that some days these lows can actually prove to reflect my greatest growth.
I may not have looked the most graceful on the mountain, but my internal processing was one of loving grace toward self.
One might think that performing well would reflect that alone, but in fact how I embrace a challenge is to me something really worth celebrating.
It really isn’t always about transforming the experience into an idealized end result, but more about the growth you learn to implement as the new, natural, more empowered process along the way.
For me, I feel like the first two to three months of 2021 is about this integration growth process to help navigate brand new terrain with greater confidence and trust.
It’s also a winding down period in terms of completing projects and focuses from 2020, while also releasing all the old energies last year brought to the collective foreground.
And finally, it’s a time for listening so that I can continue to stay aligned with the accelerated energies at hand, flow with rapid changes, support the implementation of creative change by fine-tuning where inspiration is guiding me, and do it all through a more consciously empowered, heart-centered process.
Tomorrow finishes our time out at the first landing of our journey, as we will be heading to Colorado come Saturday morning. We’ve had a great time exploring the area here in and around Park City, Utah and are looking forward to our return to Colorado – we haven’t been there since our time in the Magick Bus on our rv adventures. It will undoubtedly bring back memories of Joy and Cosmo – my dear rabbit companions who were both with us when last we were there – and will come at synchronous timing since Monday will be the six year anniversary of when Cosmo first came home to join our family and become Joy’s bonded companion for the rest of her life. Colorado seemed to be one of the shifting points along our journey then, so I’m interested in seeing how things unfold.
It’s also in Colorado where I’ll be teaching the first new online class of 2021 – Intuition & Reiki ~ Empowered Intuitive Development. The class has been full, but I’ve been considering some ways I can shift how I’m doing things so that I could make some more spots available since people had been inquiring.
So, if you were one of the people interested, please let me know, as I’m feeling I could make it work to accommodate 1-2 more.
Info for this class, as well as March’s Crystal Healing & Reiki ~ Deepening through Integrative Healing Sessions, which still has some spots open, can be found here:
In the meantime, I’m continuing to wind down like I mentioned, and not taking on any other commissions, projects, or sessions – just completing what’s on hand currently so that Spring will be a time of renewed focus for me.
Do you have creative new ideas for 2021 that you intend to put into motion? Or, are you feeling like those inner callings you’ve had for some time now are finally ready to birth?
Wishing you your own new, natural, more empowered process of loving grace toward self, as you navigate the new into being.
Let me tell you a little story about a girl who was born looking human like many of you, but what pulsed through her blood was something quite different. Her brother always told her she was more animal (amongst other things) and it made sense given her connection with them. He also used to play telepathic games with her to test his intuition about these “other” parts he felt her to be. It was a bit unnerving when she discovered the game.
At age 12 her first rabbit companion came into her life and this changed everything. No longer did she feel quite so alone when looking at the stars. Her rapid heart rate when under duress or moving her body physically, mirrored that of rabbit. In rabbit, she found solace. Where there had not been an anchor to Earth, rabbit became the way shower to deepen into her chosen embodiment.
Life grew more challenging and at every turn of greater intensity and needed transformation, another rabbit companion would find her. The relationships deepened beyond outside human understanding. And it made sense to the little girl, now woman, that these souls in rabbit bodies were the only ones who could reach her.
Their starry essence was disguised to outsiders, but to the woman stardust was all she saw. And although quite Cosmic, these rabbits were so connected to Earth’s womb that it supported the woman’s journey to the union of spirit and body.
As the years went on, and through deep loss of her soul family in rabbit bodies, she came to know herself even more. Through pain she grew. To her surprise, her heart expanded with every trauma and, again, it was rabbit that taught her the gift within every experience.
When offered the invitation to be with them forever, she chose to stay and be as they had been for her – a way shower to unify spirit and body and bridge peace and harmony on Earth. Through that choice life changed in every way, beyond what she could have imagined possible.
Through that choice, I found her, and was also supported into greater alignment I had been waiting for.
Nature became the cathedral where essence was easily accessible. Here she could hear the whispers of all remnants of stars within every creation before her. And that included herself.
It became easy to drop into her own nature, by listening to the stories within every cycle unraveling before her. And as rabbits do, she found her joy playing in Earth’s realm. Her senses heightened, her body strengthened, and agility of being increased. There were times to go deeper underground and times to leap with elation. Times to be on high alert and times to lay still and listen. Even the foods she ate and loved, mirrored her rabbit friends and her world made sense through these new eyes.
Rabbit and woman were one.
It’s been incredible to watch this unfolding and with every day of her transformation comes a deepening to our bond as well.
I am able to go with her on every adventure she takes because we have merged through this evolution, too.
There is no separation. Essence brings Unity.
I love the journeys she takes me on daily in the mountainous forests where we live. I can feel the snowflakes on my nose, as they kiss hers. I hear the chickadees in my large ears, as they sing to her. I smell the fresh pine through my twitching nose, as she luxuriates in their aroma. I binky with joy when she becomes elated with wonder. I feel nurtured by the vibrations beneath my large thumpers, as she walks with deliberate and present footsteps.
And most of all my heart expands as hers does, every time she drops into essence and becomes both Heaven and Earth.
I woke this morning to a magickal paradise scene surrounding our home on the forest.
And as I shared on social media, the view had me singing Willy Wonka’s Pure Imagination…
“If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Wanta change the world?
There is no
Life I know
To compare with
You’ll be free
If you truly wish to be”
The message of this song is one I sing in my heart always. It’s what carries me through life when the rest of the world can’t hear it.
Being the Sagittarius New Moon Total Solar Eclipse and the day after concluding a very potent weekend of Reiki 3 Master Teacher initiations, it all felt like a fresh reset enveloped the forest portal here, but also collectively.
The energy is fertile, even with the blanket of snow covering the Earth’s skin.
I took intentional time off last evening and first half of today to let things integrate and settle. I also got a lot of good sleep in and slowed everything way down.
I’m glad I did.
After a slow, relaxing morning we headed off just up the road from our house to immerse in the fresh powder solitude on snow shoes. The day was incredibly surreal, as you can see.
It was the perfect thing needed, as was the enchanted landscape before me. It may even have been a manifestation of my intents, hopes, and imagination, as I had very strongly both voiced and wished for a winter wonderland the night before.
As we climbed the mountain I could feel the surge of energies from everything flowing through me. It actually made me feel slightly nauseous for about a half an hour (which is not normal for me), so I slowed my pace and deeply breathed the energy in and out, focusing on regulating the accelerated shifts. I also focused on my body and my feet merging with the snow covered ground.
Everything balanced out and as we reached our destination vista point I felt a new harmony anchor and everything has been a peaceful steady since.
While outdoors and during my integration time, I got the message to wind some things down. With the ending of full level Reiki trainings since August, this was a perfect closure point for the year. Yet, I also need to put to rest some of my offerings, as I need some more time to myself these last weeks of 2020.
So, although I had the special running until end of December on discounted sessions to navigate these challenging times, I was told to remove them early. I hope you understand, if in fact you’ve been considering these. This is why you won’t find them offered on my site anymore.
I intend to just complete sessions with clients that I already have, continue to work on custom art commissions, and then use the rest of the time for myself.
This will give me the extra balancing time I feel will be supportive for the work at hand and for continuing to integrate the changes I’m undergoing. It will also give me some good down time before the two new 2021 classes in February and March.
I’ll also be listening between now and the start of the year, as to what other changes will be implemented and how I’ll reimagine a new landscape of experience for 2021. I am feeling the percolation, just like warm seeds coddled far beneath the ground and snow. For now, the halt on these extra sessions feels supportive.
As I’ve told all of my students and clients, balance is key and balance is something I have made central to my life. So, when I get the message that things are feeling more intense than necessary, I listen. This changes things instantly.
I thank you for your understanding with this. I trust that things are always in alignment for what is most important and for the highest good.
Also, I wanted to extend gratitude that the two original, new pieces we added to The Magick Rabbit Etsy Shop this morning at the maximum eclipse time went off to a wonderful new home just minutes after they got listed. This reiterated why they had been important to create, as I heard the connection that they made, which included even just having been seen and experienced by others.
Creating them also gave me, as I mentioned yesterday, the needed little surges of free expression and imagination immersion, which leads us back to Willy Wonka’s Pure Imagination.
We can use the power of our imaginations to create the world we want to see and to set ourselves free. It’s one of the things no one can take away from you, including hope.
Here’s to fresh slates for your imagination to thrive on.
I hope today’s New Moon Eclipse energies have been clarifying and renewing for you too.
There’s been quite a lot of interesting, strange, expansive, and potent energy and experiences in the last few weeks that feel to indicate an initiation into a whole new arena of life. Of course, the collective is sharing a wild ride of swift and unknown changes as well. So, the two are definitely mirroring one another – individual and collective, that is.
Some very rare physical encounters have been taking place for me, which have involved the avian clan of spirit messengers. I always have a lot of bird energy around me and find feathers literally every time I’m outdoors hiking. Some special feathers have been part of that mix, including a variety of owl, hawk, osprey, sooty grouse, wild turkey, pheasant, and most recently, bald eagle for the first time. But actual physical encounters add an extra powerful punch since some of these birds are quite rare to see in the wild unless divinely in alignment.
However, as I shared in a recent post, last week great horned owl made a very prominent and deliberate appearance while we ventured through her slot canyon lair with feathers arriving in conjunction with her grand entrance. This took place the day after burrowing owl showed up for us, which I haven’t seen since being in the Galapagos Islands several years back, synchronously as we had just been talking about dreams of a potential future revisit to these special islands.
And just recently I found my first bald eagle feather, but we hadn’t actually seen one in maybe a year. That dry run came to an end on Wednesday the fourth when one made another deliberate appearance for us and my parents, whom we were taking on a walk by the river. You can see him captured here in the photo and video.
We also had just seen osprey the day after great horned owl and yesterday a most gorgeous, giant hawk (largest I’ve seen in some time) made a deliberate glide across the front of our car as we were driving to a hike, and came to rest on a light post to stop and make visual contact. Interestingly, the eagle seemed to do the same, as after he flew overhead he came to rest on the tree you see him in and waited for us all to get under that tree to have a little eye-to-eye before flying off again. Since Dave had missed seeing him fly and couldn’t make him out, this pause the eagle did, ensured very clear sight of him once we reached where he was. No one was to meant to miss him.
Although back in Costa Mesa I’ve seen great horned owl in the physical, when no one else had, sitting on the roof of a house in the distance, a barn owl that flew across my windshield while on the freeway, and bald and golden eagles in extremely rare moments since 2006 living in Tahoe and on our Alaska trip, these new encounters have been bunched up all at once – one after the other – and accompany energies that feel vastly different.
Being that these are all very large and rarely seen birds – at least for us here – and their symbolism is quite powerful and filled with insightful wisdom and higher consciousness and cosmic connection, they feel significant to the shifting path ahead. I thought it also quite interesting to see bald eagle right after election day, continuing to unfold its direction.
But alongside the actual birds and feathers, there have been other mystical wing encounters.
I found an actual small bird’s wing feather on a hike this last weekend. This, on a day that was quite still and calm, followed by several days of extreme calm, nearly no wind, placid water on every lake we hiked by, and a loud stillness in the air. Similar to the calm before a storm, which in fact literally is happening here as we today had our first rain in a while and winds that are preparing for our first snow storm on the way this weekend.
The timing of everything is always fascinating.
Another incredulous “mystical wing” encounter, took place on Saturday’s Halloween/Samhain Full Blue Moon. While we were sitting by the river enjoying a distanced picnic lunch, I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my left elbow.
I immediately brushed at it, feeling some kind of creature, and then looked at my elbow to find an odd stinger in it that looked three-pronged. It hurt and burned a lot and I had Dave immediately yank out the stinger.
No one saw what it was except one friend who said, “I saw something with very large wings, but couldn’t make it out.”
I’ve never “randomly” been stung like that on purpose. Only two times in my life did I get stung, but they were my own unfortunate doing. Each of those were from bees. Once when I was a little girl and stepped on one on the grass by accident. And once, incidentally, when I sat on a bee on the seat of the boat we were on in the Galapagos Islands. Each time giving me crazy skin reactions lasting a long time. I was actually told when I was a child that the only thing I was allergic to was bee stings, so this made sense.
But my skin reacts hugely from stings or bug bites of any kind. Luckily I’m not allergic in terms of getting anaphylactic shock, serious illness or sick feelings, etc., but my body goes on major localized attack of anything foreign introduced.
So, the sting burned and hurt quite a bit and in the days to follow it swelled like a small tumor, hurt like a bad bruise to the touch, and got very red and itchy. It’s currently just a bit blotchy red and itchy, but is healing.
The strangeness though is the auspicious timing/day of the incident and that no one can identify what got me. It wasn’t a bee, nor a wasp or yellow jacket – neither of these fit the large winged description nor do any of them leave a stinger, let alone a three pronged stinger. Our friend that got a glimpse said the only thing he could find online to somewhat mirror it was an Asian Giant Hornet. That’s highly unlikely, but apparently even hornets don’t leave stingers.
Something that large is nothing we’ve ever seen around here, but otherwordly visitors coming through dimensions is a whole other thing. 😉
I’m convinced it was a cosmic faery initiation that came through the thin veils that day to activate a new crossroads. Even my faery sister, Laura, reiterated the same sense when we were talking about it and our shared bee allergies.
The potent Full Blue Moon Samhain zap seems to indicate big shifts and combined with the rare, powerful avian sightings, I’m curious to see what’s in motion.
“The elbow represents the capacity for radical change in direction in what we do in our lives regarding our own path, our goals. It represents a professional change or one that concerns our objectives.” https://www.flowsandforms.com/elbow/
And, since elbows also symbolize our flexibility, there’s an increased focus on expanding that to incorporate even more possibility and an intention around changes involving freedom to act in accordance with our identity, drive, and dreams. The left elbow is also yin/feminine, so there’s a shift with all things of this essence taking place.
Synchronously during the time period of all of these experiences, I have actually been reviewing and receiving a lot of inspired guidance and nudges. This led to a big redo of my office and shared Wonderland room with Astrid.
I’ve expanded and revamped my creation space with two side-by-side matching desks to have one elongated area to work. When I first got my desk it had arrived partially damaged, so the company ended up sending me another. That one also had partial damage and so they sent me a third. So I ended up with three for the price of one and with a little transfer of parts from one to another had two perfect desks out of it.
I had only ever had one in my office and the other we stored in the garage, but I got inspired to create an expansive and comfy work space that would be much more useful and inviting for my non-traditional ways of working. I also got rid of my desk chair and replaced it with my super cozy reading chair so that I now feel like work time is welcoming and supportive to my Pisces dreamy energy. It also puts in me in better view of seeing out to my garden.
I’ve never liked the office desk and chair concept, and throughout my school career always did my work, studying, and typing (on a type writer) of papers on my bed despite having a small desk in my room.
This new set up feels inspiring and with of course my decorative touches, it is more of an imaginarium space that happens to be work-friendly.
I am still in process of redecorating, but all the major clearing out/organizing is done and it feels good. What I love about it all is that not only is it so much more fun now to be there, but I feel this was necessary in order to do the next phase of my writing.
I hadn’t felt called to do what was next with my novel, but now this feels like the exact invitation and nurturing “someone” knew I needed, which also aligns with the energetics shifting. I’m glad I listened.
So, that’s one big change that took place and more are in process, as I’ve embraced nudges around doing work I previously felt complete with. In fact, next week I’ll likely have another update on some offerings upcoming because of this.
I also just did another big purge of clearing out things and am actually off to Goodwill as soon as this blog posts. And it looks also like another upcoming short get away is in order. It seems like a bunch of new energy activations are streaming through in overdrive.
In the midst of it all Astrid has been excited with all the changes too. She loves the new hidey space it created behind my reading chair, under the desk and the whole set up actually created more open space and an expansive look and feel to the whole room.
And speaking of Astrid, she also received her own “mystical winged” faery initiation, as you can see here.
These are photos of the night we returned home from our time away and I introduced Astrid to her very own faery bunny! The tag attached to her named her “Fiona,” but I’m sure Astrid will let me know if in fact that’s who this little one really is.
She took to her right away and gave her the usual enchanting with some energy-infused nose nudges.
No matter where I put her, Astrid was right by her side giving her magickal nose kisses.
She’s enjoying the new energy and is excited about the upgrades she’s also receiving alongside mom. This to include some brand new mats on the way for her sweet little feet and thumpers so she can lay cozy by mom through the colder seasons and have her feet cushioned with support where she likes to sit/lay most.
These new little islands of comfort and joy are like the new frontiers mom is also embarking on and together we’re excited for a very different winter experience upcoming.
Even our recent hikes since we’ve returned home have all taken us to great climbing heights overlooking expansive, more secluded vistas and anchoring with the sacred stone outcroppings in each of the areas.
These vantage points have offered me a broader perspective and nurturing nudge to open and trust even wider, despite the strangeness I sense about.
The energetic landscape of the world is shifting greatly and has many unknowns, but our personal piece of the story can be a different kind of journey if we commit to the work.
Climbing a mountain is always filled with reflections of growth. And while the view may be incredible, it’s truly how we embrace the climb that makes the difference.
And although summit may seem like a natural end, peace comes when we embrace each part of the mountain as rich and treasure-filled.
There are layers of mountainous journeys to traverse, but remember that the journey is where we discover ourselves and learn to anchor amidst anything.
I’m seeing with new eyes and feeling into things with all parts of me. One thing I know is that only I can control how I feel, or what my experience of life is like, and I refuse to let anything or anyone have reign over that domain.
It didn’t always used to be that way, as I never had boundaries to my energetic world. I used to have trouble differentiating between what was mine and others’ and I was susceptible to persuasion and telepathic undernotes. Now, I’m on high alert and am always privy to what other’s are really up to and I keep a strong sense of self even though I have a strong sense of unity-loving connection.
I love how in the photo above you can actually subtly see the red site on my left elbow where the faery initiation zap of radical new change took place. This photo feels very symbolic of the new frontiers ahead, demonstrates connection, but with different vantage points of our experience of life, and anchors a joy and strength for the unknown journey.
This is the most strenuous hike we do around here because it steeply climbs 2000 feet in only two miles. We do it in only an hour, which is a big accomplishment for me.
This is the first time we’ve done it where the air was still without a breeze and the water below was equally mirroring.
In the stillness of presence there is much to receive.
I also love that my eyes are protected by the shade of my hand – creating shadow or diffusion of light in order to see.
Yes, we are capable of clarity and finding direction even amidst seeming darkness. In fact, sometimes going through caverns of experience can be necessary in order to understand with new wisdom and bring forth greater richness.
We are traveling new frontiers of experience together, step by step, and with trust we’ll find new wings to carry us further.
Magickal Update: Today, the day after posting this, the “mystical wings” theme and symbolism continued double fold with the finding of a bird’s wings. While hiking I found the wings with the feathers in separate, but connected pieces creating sections of the wings and almost making each large wing look like many little wings. The photo above is of the gathered wings in my large vest pocket. I like to honor the energy of each being and message in special ways. The large feather in front is a separate feather I found on its own – feels like goose – along with a beautiful, tiny spotted mystery feather. They’re pictured below.
At the start of this week I focused on printing and sending out all of the Reiki Level 1 certificates to the group that completed their training this past weekend. Even just that process was a big energy shift on top of all the Reiki flowing through the hours of teaching and attuning the last two weekends. It’s equally transformative and recalibrating for the teacher, as it is the students that are receiving, so I’m definitely experiencing my own activation and inner triggers for reflection.
For this reason, and both because I don’t write blogs as often as I used to AND I feel that others are going through a variety of changes right now in more significant and likely conscious ways than they have in the past, I’m sharing a longer post today. It’s a way to thread connection, too.
So, I noticed that as I sealed the envelopes and sent them out in the world it felt like sending out keys to new doorways of potential that feel to be gridding and lighting up more and more on the Earth. In their own way, they are seeding new openings to wider and innovative ways we can move forward for the greatest and highest good.
At least that was the intention I had, as I sent them out with love.
Since this unexpected teaching flow invited me to also expand wider and change the approaches I adapted until now, it ignited a whole level of reinvention on other layers as well. And it definitely amped up energies that have put into motion a domino-effect of shifts to explore.
In a nutshell, I’d say my experience is all about transitions and upgrades right now. And with all the collective change happening simultaneously, it feels aligned with acceleration at large, and needed.
So how are these shifts and upgrades translating for me?
I’ll share some of the ways I’m experiencing this, as a way of demonstrating the varied levels of life that can be affected in a naturally organic way – especially when embraced – as we go through life changes. This may also be helpful to any of my students that read this blog.
This concept of recalibrating, cleansing, upgrading, and realigning, etc. is something we discuss in training, and includes the possibilities of what that could look like.
However, even though I know this shift is getting an added boost from the Reiki teaching, I also feel it was on its way simply as a natural process of transitions – like Nature’s seasons are reflecting currently and even the upcoming Full Moon is heralding in, as it brings to full amplification and illumination the things in your life that no longer serve you.
I ended up having to upgrade to a new, larger, more powerful computer that Dave just helped set up for me (since I’m not a very tech savvy person) at the start of this new week. Interesting timing right after completion of training. Also interesting is that I always used to have very tiny laptops – like notebooks. Then after a series of those and crashing all of them, I adopted Dave’s older, bigger laptop. I’ve had that quite a while, but it finally was starting to poop out. So now I have an extremely heavy-duty, larger, powerhouse laptop that is all my own and can do likely more than I’ll ever need. But that creates space for growth and new because who knows what the future holds, right?
Likely the very near future few months may hold a new cell phone in store too. Mine seems fine, (even after falling into the water, as you may remember – going through its own rebirth), but we may be upgrading together to a different carrier for several reasons and they likely will have different options of phones than this one that goes with their plans. It’s not surprising to have all electronics go through upgrades with big changes so that what ever is coming will be supported.
Luckily, I must have my energy better harnessed or something, as I don’t seem to blowing out things anymore and do have miraculous fixes like the water dunking with no ill effect. One experience that comes to mind was when I taught a large group Reiki retreat in Laguna and my phone literally sizzled and gave me an electrical shock on the morning of Reiki Master Teacher training. That was a full three levels in one weekend teaching, so it wasn’t surprising really.
The more mild experiences I have now might also speak to the more balanced life I’ve created and make a priority, and how I’ve learned to channel my energy more effectively, as well as do a lot of grounding, exercise, and nature things, along with self-care and holding center amidst contrasting dynamics all around me.
I’ve also been in home improvement project mode, which actually started last Friday before classes with working on tile prep in our shower to get it ready for Dave to seal, caulk, and fix grouting. I found myself scrubbing away with great vigor and being that the shower and water energy coincides with Pisces – my native sign, but also the sign the upcoming Full Moon is in – it seems reflective of bringing up deep subconscious and clingy stuff to the surface to observe, integrate, and move out altogether.
Improvement projects continued Saturday after class with me spending a couple of hours in the garden sanding my garden bench and restaining it to prep it for the upcoming seasons. Again, another layering process in motion, much like the shedding of old skin.
The shower tiles and the bench getting a renewed layer by removing the old one, and in effect some of my layers are coming undone too.
And the projects have continued little by little for us to include some minor redecorating in my office (still underway, but soon to be complete) and a little in the master bedroom, outdoor clean-up and fixers with the yard, pine needle removal from the roof, refilling the jacuzzi with new water, and repairing some insulation under the house. We are thinking about some other changes we may make as well, so there’s again that cleansing and renewal energy in motion.
I’ve also been completing a round of side-work projects to free up my time, along with monthly record-keeping I do.
I’m also in clean out mode and getting donation bags ready again – a favorite thing of mine to do whenever I feel change is in the air.
The weekend of teaching saw me physically drop a little weight, as any old load was lightened. And, for the first time in a while I am getting the strong feeling of lightening things with my hair as well. Since the ends of the hair are the oldest parts, it can make sense why the literal cutting away can come at significant periods of change in our lives so that we’re letting go and dropping that time period or part of our life it represents.
I have mostly just been letting it do whatever it wants and so it just consistently grows longer. Yet, I’m sensing there may be a more significant change upcoming instead of just my four-inch trim I’ve been doing every six months or so. Perhaps a more significant new cut is in store? I’m waiting to see if this is in fact the route I’ll take, or if I’m just feeling so much change that it inspires a large gamut of ideas and inspiration to flood through. In some cases like that, I’ll wait a little to see what actually feels to be the new anchoring, or if in fact energy is simply moving and may bring up other things, so it’s not about settling on the first idea that comes through.
Other changes have included seeing the potential for new possibilities with a feeling of greater flexibility I’m opening to that I wouldn’t have before, and allowing exploration in order to find the highest path that aligns with now. I’m finding myself revisiting things from about four years ago and this includes a resurgence of ancient and cosmic timelines merging and choices that were made at that time. It has brought underlying a-ha empowering moments, alongside some sadness.
There’s also been an experience of simultaneous, parallel realities. One carries the strength for the other, while it simply goes forth to explore. One dips into realizing the new challenges ahead of the unknown and is processing the stages of how to get there. At times, already being where the challenges are integrated and yet aware of the journey to get there being a step at a time and that it will ebb and flow. Then moments of the ebbs and flows. 🙂
We’re also starting to make different plans for the upcoming seasons and looking at some travels with the animals to change up energies very soon.
So, yes, there’s a lot of energy transitions taking place – even more than I’m sharing here. These may give you an idea of how when we stay in observational mode and decide to be more conscious of the active role we can also have with changes, the more things become obvious as to the levels of transformation that are actually happening, and the easier they shift.
And speaking of Nature, it’s also interesting to observe how the changes we go through can also be reflected in things like seasonal shifts, the different animals that show up for us, the things that draw our attention when we are outdoors, the types of plants and flowers that speak to us, the weather patterns, and unusual sightings in general.
As I just wrote that, a squirrel got my attention outside who is laying in an unusual rounded-over ball on a limb of the tree outside my office. Looks as if he/she is resting, but then sat up, still maintaining that ball-shape – so much so, the little tummy appears as if pregnant with tail wrapped perfectly up and around the back in a half circle. There’s a feeling of this little one resting and reflecting/pregnant with ideas and energy – and as soon as I said that he/she moved quickly on to the next task, which currently includes rubbing the entire front of its body and belly in the cutest fashion, flat all over another limb, relishing in the feeling. 🙂
But this is just a direct reflection in the moment right now.
Others have included how the smoke from the California fires have been blowing in and out of the region here. At times feeling like a veil thickening and lifting, or a transitioning taking place of transmutation. Smoke in fact is the transition of matter into spirit.
Then there’s been the increase in sightings of garter snakes that either cross my path right in front of me or lay across the path I’m approaching. Sometimes they catch my attention from the corner of my eye, and Dave is amazed I even see them since they are camouflaged in the grass. So much snake energy speaks to that shedding of skin, as layers removing for renewal. Another one was on our path while hiking down to the lake a couple of days ago, as you can see here.
This same day I also found a sweet, little dead mouse laying to the side of the trail, which I stopped to bury.
About a week before this I found a dead bird. In both cases the body was fully in tact and didn’t appear to have injury. Perhaps death by natural causes, but interesting at this time period.
In general, seeing a dead animal can symbolize something coming to an end in our lives through a natural cycle – a major life transition from one thing to another. It can also herald the time for a new direction or choice. It’s not necessarily a literal death upcoming, although could be and is relative to the person seeing it.
Seeing a dead animal can be a message or reiteration that a door is, or needs to be, closing. It can also be a reflection of hope in times of challenge. And depending upon the qualities of the particular animal, this can signify the areas in your life that it is highlighting. For instance, mice tend to small and tedious little things and so this could indicate an end to minor issues no longer bothering you or not allowing fears getting in the way. Could be an end to any shyness or timidity, or perhaps resourcefulness no longer being a challenge.
It’s interesting that alongside seeing snakes a lot, we’ve been humanely trapping and releasing mice under the house quite a bit before fixing the insulation, and now I see the dead mouse. Mice in Ancient Greece were considered sacred because they are associated as food for snakes, which were sacred to the Greeks as holy healers.
One thing that jumps out at me about mice is this description of their symbolism from Avia Venefica, which I shared in my blog about the little mouse named Fiver that was so transformative for me.
“Our ancient ancestors observed their affinity for ground-burrowing, and likened this to mice being ‘one with the Mother’ (Mother Earth, that is). This ground-loving behavior was also seen as a connection to the Underworlds (or Otherworlds, depending upon your source of reference). This kind of connection makes the mouse a kind of mediator between physical life and recycling life (spirit energies in transition). This Earth and Underworld connection continues in western, medieval Europe, where folk superstitions tell of mice possessing the ability to carry souls of humans who have passed from this physical life.
There’s that reference again to energies in transition, similar to the smoke and the general theme I’ve been speaking about.
And this transition has been taking place in both the garden and the entire landscape here as I watch the end of Summer move into hints of Autumn vibes.
I am really enjoying the transitioning energy showing up in different waves of blossoming and shades of colors turning, fading and warming. Especially soul-enriching to me is all of the golden sage blossoms. It speaks to something soulful coming into glowing illumination.
On the same hike down to the lake where I saw the snake and the dead mouse, we enjoyed the beautiful meadows, pond, creek, and forests full of signs that Autumn is approaching.
And even my garden continues to transition, too, with sunflowers going through life cycles (nearly
half of the 30+ buds all in bloom), prolific wildflowers popping up with more on the way, plants both growing rapidly and coming to end, roses on their last leg of flowering, a last batch of mini
strawberries ripening for Astrid, and pollinators doing their thing to ensure next year’s growth, as
well as squirrels and chipmunks beginning to hide their Winter’s stash (in my garden). 😉
I have a really tall, wild thistle plant out front that is in full fuchsia bloom and starting to turn to puffs of white dandelion-like seeds, as their maturity is during late Summer to early Autumn.
With only a few last days of August remaining, we are approaching the upcoming Pisces Full Moon of the 1st/2nd of the month (depending on where you live) and Autumn Equinox on the 22nd.
September feels like it will be a quieter month for me, full of deep exploration, decisions, and a new layer of writing upcoming. It also happens to be Astrid’s birthday month, which I know she’s been prepping for and she has her regular vet check at the start of the month, too, for her to start afresh. I have an eye appointment at the end of the month to see if any prescription updating is in order, this may be the month for hair changes, and I’ll be planting daffodil and tulip bulbs for next year.
The Full Moon means that intuition will be on an all-time high, so listening to it and trusting it will be key to support moving into your true power. It will help you to gain deeper insights and understanding about the seeds you’ve been planting in your garden, the intentions you have for them, and will illuminate what truly is guiding your life so that you have a broader grasp on the creative forces at work and how to harness them.
Establishing and recognizing boundaries will be the theme for well-being and is a lesson for the boundless Pisces energy to understand how to balance in a healthy way.
This is a powerful time for deep soul level closure, to exercise greater compassion rather than judgment, and to practice radical acceptance, which helps you to release suffering. Suffering is a refusal to accept things. It’s time to give up the suffering, do an energy cleanse, and ask how you can make the changes, then engage action to do them.
All of this is speaking to a time of transition with our relationship to things in our life and perhaps creating some kind of ritual or acknowledgment around supporting what is time to release, so that we can more fully step into the life we want, and receive those upgrades.
There is so much beauty in all stages of life.
The shifting environment reflects the shifting within.
When the time comes for change, there are many ways in which we are messaged about how we can support that process to be easier, more efficient, graceful, and peaceful.
It doesn’t feel like the energy is anchoring yet, which makes sense given the transitional stage that even nature reflects.
Yet, we may see and feel the importance of which things speak most heart and soul-fully to us that would like to take root for the season ahead.
Today happens to be my dad’s 75th birthday – so a shout out to my dad with lots of love as I acknowledge how his birthday also signifies a huge shift and transition period in life.
I know as I edge toward 50 here not too far off, these 40’s have been the biggest shifts indeed.