Days have been CRAZY busy lately and increasingly will be in the coming weeks, as we prepare for moving in and remodeling continues to rapidly increase with overlapping contractors to accommodate that. Although work will continue through January, we should have enough done upstairs to get in at Thanksgiving, as long as things continue as they are. We’re also flowing with what shows up and ready to adjust that timing if need be.
We weren’t able to find a general contractor we liked and was affordable to handle everything that we are, so we are the general contractors to our 15 or so different contractors, at times shifting the responsibilities back and forth, as well as sharing them together to manage it all.
It’s A LOT (as many of you may know from your own experience), as it isn’t just one simple change here and there like just new flooring, choosing paint colors, or remodeling say a kitchen or bath. It basically has entailed literally gutting/demoing most of the entire inside of the house and starting from scratch, other than the foundational footprint and layout. Our first time doing a full-on remodel, as the closest we came was in our Costa Mesa house, which we redid a lot in, but nothing like to this extent AND there we actually had a general contractor. So it’s been a great process of learning and understanding how it all works.
The entire outside hasn’t been touched (other than adding our new 8 Austrian Pines and adding a walkway bridge from my new office here shortly), but the inside is getting a whole new face lift on every level, which to me symbolizes transforming things on the inside for us too.
When Spring comes we’ll look at working on the yard and implementing some ideas there. Step by step.
On top of this, we also had to manage, and in some cases did the work ourselves, some changes and fixes to our tree house condo to prepare it for the new tenants. So we’ve been managing both places, on top of scheduling everything to align timing-wise with all that each entails. You throw in regular life, work, our other side projects we manage together, and my editing and what not, and it’s quite a lot to juggle. We may not have human children, but we do have animal children, all of whom are very sensitive, and we can tell that they are anxious to get to the new place too and so we do our best to keep equilibrium with everything and hold peace for it all.
It’s not always the easiest thing to do when there is so much being thrown at you at once. It can kind of get overwhelming, so you do need to have those anchors in place to center and balance you back so you don’t get caught up in the stress. That entails a lot of flexibility and willingness to readjust your position, and for us, has strengthened our clarity with how to communicate with others and ourselves, and of course never take something personally. I/we are learning so much through this process, not to mention, growing in new ways.
So while things might appear the same on the outside of our new home, they in fact will be operating from a whole new internal circuitry, shifting us into a different feeling experience and reality. The new trees outside are rooting new pathways for us and connection to the forest and bigger picture collective reality we’re settling into, but the foundation is solid on which we’re working from, which is good.
So, since the foundation and structure is strong, that feels anchoring of the new we’ve been working on that is solid and in place already, which is holding everything together while we reconfigure, continue to shift, upgrade, integrate, assimilate, grow into the more expansive shoes holding space for us, and create what this new is like on the inside. The fun part is, it’s all our creative choice as to how we want that to feel and look.
It’s interesting that my foot has healed just as the major crunch time with the house is happening too and timely because Dave hadn’t been feeling well the last two weeks so there were things I needed to take over, which driving and walking allowed for. Everything sort of rewired at the same aligned time and it’s been cool that I used the forest backyard as part of my strengthening of my foot and the backdrop for all of this inner circuitry of moving parts and people weaving together.
Needless to say, this is simply a little break I’m taking to provide this update, as it feels reflective of things that others might derive some symbolism from too and may mirror what you’re experiencing, from one perspective of how to view them that you may not have thought of.
Plus, it’s always therapeutic, I find, to write about things and move energy.
It also lends to why you will increasingly see less posts during this crunch time, or very simple ones, because simply I’m quite occupied in other areas right now – like BIG TIME!
So much so that even my editing has had to take the back burner for the last nearly week (with sporadic bursts when I could), so that I can not only attend to things needed, but stay on top of self nurturing, rest, and keeping balanced.
I don’t force things simply because I have a goal, because ultimately if I’m not at my best, I can’t give my best to anything and what I create will only be a small or smaller percentage of its potential.
This home base feels key right now.
I have also found that currently this approach of flowing with the energy that shows up has been ideal for my editing (I’m on my second run-through of my book) because now and then we need to step away from things to return with a fresh perspective, sometimes completely removing ourselves altogether from it for a time period.
So unless I get a very strong message that I really need to amp things up to align the timing of my book with things energetically, I’ll be inclined to trust what is showing up as where to focus, so I will be invigorated when I return to it and the process will be speedy, rather than feel labored or take ages to work through even a few sentences.
Of course, we can self-sabotage ourselves and find ways to avoid things, so it’s important to stay on top of authenticity, responsibility, and being honest with ourselves for why we are or aren’t doing something.
I check in constantly to make sure of this and am assured that right now there is a window available of letting it sit in the background percolating, while I put into place important things and keep healthy and strong.
But I assure you that I do feel a sense of timing with my book, yet trust as long as I keep moving the energy in some way, I’ll know when to jump back in fully. And I also know when I do, that it will flow more easily than what I felt right before I stepped away to handle other things. The energy was heavier and not fluid, as I usually feel. Hence, a perfect transition time.
Amidst it all, I do still feel peace mixed with excitement, as well as moments of overwhelm mixed with complete surrender. There’s that feeling of perfection with the now and also this anticipation for the new anchoring. There’s that gratitude for all that has been to create the now and also this wonder about what I can envision becoming. So yes, lots of duality dancing with each other in balance, which I only differentiate when I write, in order to explain what takes place as this simultaneously seamless experiencing.
Perhaps it’s much like my hair’s unified duality that you see here in the most recent reflective photo of me beginning this new phase of my life.
I’ve also noticed Astrid is going through her own transitions with things right now too, which isn’t surprising. She is definitely reconfiguring things for herself, too, and learning what it means to be loved for who she is, which is encouraging her to discover how she really wants to share herself not because of fears or conditioning, but because it’s simply what feels right for her. So she’s working that out through explorations.
Interestingly, I have been getting ideas for the next project already, so I know that if that is anchoring, just as the house anchored in foundation while we rework the insides, that the infrastructure and insides of my book will rework themselves too in perfect timing.
Anchoring seems to be key, at least in my experience, then the pieces start to come together with the rest.
In the interim, so many animal spirit guides show up consistently for me due to my strong connection there, reflecting their own pieces of the story.
So many in recent weeks have shown up, that hadn’t for some time like the bears, the deer, and countless little ones all around.
I even had a hawk again outside our deck visiting several days ago. This time soaring with deliberate intent for me to see. You might remember the one that came and landed on the banister looking in on me. Well, this one my own hawk eye caught sight of down quite a ways below. I told Dave immediately, “watch, he’s going to come to us.”
And he did.
He suddenly turned around and started soaring closer and closer until he literally was soaring directly in front of our door going to the right first, disappearing at roof level, then soaring back to the left and directly in front again, then disappearing above one more time, and back to the right until he then flew off. Three fly-by’s, but each soaring in place so I could see all his feather detail and he confirmed hearing me tell Dave he was coming.
Hawk always feels to me to be about navigating and staying on path with deep presence and awareness, being open to and taking in wider perspectives, trusting my insights as they speak my truth, taking decisive actions with strength of vision and initiative behind them after surveying all creative possibilities, and knowing I have the ability to move through anything with grace and am being watched over by divine guardianship. Definitely good confirmation for it being time to bring forth gifts into action, but also a time to not act impulsively and await those air stream propulsions by assimilating everything to create alchemical alignment.
And just a few days, while on our way home, I counted 17 hawks that showed themselves (I think the most has been 44), and as we were on our way back up the mountain to our tree house – I was driving – my hawk eye caught two coyotes to the right at the side of the mountain.
They were very camouflaged and otherwise would not be seen, unless you knew where to look and how to make them out. I immediately told Dave and pointed, slowing down, and he saw them while remarking how much they blended in.
I normally have only see one coyote at a time, but two together felt significant.
Their medicine speaks to me of all things being sacred – so yes even the uncomfortable processes and the times you feel all you can do is focus on survival – that laughter and playfulness is always important to have running behind the scenes (a big one for me that I keep cultivated), about cunning and knowing how to balance risk and safety, about adaptability and the need to stay flexible always especially in seeing another way, about instinct being important to connect to, and yes about that trickster energy, but more about having integrated dual sides skillfully of wisdom and foolishness that help us learn. As way-makers they’ve been known by many to be symbolic of endings and making way for new beginnings. They also are known to mate for life and know how to nurture and protect their family – that stands out to me in seeing two this time for the first time.
And not more than two minutes after, my hawk eye caught two deer to the left on the side of the mountain this time. I slowed down again to point out to Dave who then saw them, remarking it was quite a wildlife sighting day. 🙂
The coyotes medicine was balanced out, and in some ways enhanced, with deer medicine of love, grace, gentleness, compassion, innocence, peace, beauty, fertility, femininity, humility, swiftness, acceptance, regrowth, renewal, creativity, spirituality, psychic power, subtlety, higher connection, awareness, abundance, benevolence, and watchfulness. Interesting to note there were TWO again. Really emphasizing that divine union, duality in balance, and sacred relationship with the parts within and without.
Interesting that there was predator and then prey – another balance exhibited in Nature’s cycles and not too far off from collective things exhibiting themselves a lot these days.
I will continue to draw upon their meanings for me personally, as I move through these full days and equally full and symbolic nights of layered dreams and even more animals spirit guides showing up in them to include, bat, spider, cats, and rabbits.
There is much going on with everyone everywhere and not only is there a lot of things being unveiled in the collective as well, surfacing as challenges in order to help to heal, but I know of many dear friends going through huge hurdles right now and I can’t help but feel both a sense of withdrawal to preserve my energy, but also this inversion within that withdrawal of deepening into greater ways of being able to share my love with them all. More duality playing out in a unified way that makes sense only to the heart.
I wish everyone greater peace with all that you are experiencing directly or indirectly. It’s something I constantly work on for myself as well, to know peace and harmony more intimately by the day.
We are reconfiguring things for sure and where it leads is unknown, but can only be navigated by a heart anchored in love.