The last couple of nights my sweet boy, Cosmo, has been coming to me in my dreams. I feel him so strongly that my heart both aches and feels enlivened by the waves of his powerful love running through it. His love is as vast as the cosmic waters of All That Is. He knows that it is because of his presence and my other bunny loves, including Astrid here in this realm, that I feel most inspired to move forward with the things my heart whispers. He and they are the wind beneath my wings. We are One.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I feel he is sending me a message of love and gratitude, as he truly was my son in every sense of the word.
I’ve written before about how he was the one who truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way, even though I will never experience an actual physical birth in this life with a child.
Astrid is in every sense of the word, a true embodiment of Sacred Mother energy, as she so beautifully and powerfully exhibits how she watches over the humans and bunnies we know and the creatures of the forest here, and how she walks in partnership with her Earth Mother. Although she is so clearly of the stars and exhibits being much more from beyond than of Earth, she is very balanced in her energies as a Virgo, and hugely in touch with that feminine earthiness.
She is a beautiful example for me of this balance and a model of both the tenderness and awe-inspiring power and strength of the Sacred Feminine and Mother.
Between both Cosmo and Astrid, I am receiving the gifts of what it means to walk in this essence ever more so each day.
As I shared in a post about Cosmo several years back, I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
And equally, men have access to this essence, as there is a union we each have dancing within us even though we are playing out one role more than the other. This is something we can become more and more aware of, as we tune into and honor these parts both inside and out.
I believe that the alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember being within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and shine forth without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
For me, it feels as if Cosmo truly was a baby I birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular focused one, but it’s there. I had these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I got to spend with him, even if it was the rigorous routines others might tire from, I was thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I could spend with him, especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I always felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, time stood still, I didn’t feel I needed to do anything else, and actually would have been happy just taking care of him.
I loved bath time and I loved holding his hand when I took him in to his vet and therapy appointments, reassuring him I was right there. I loved waking to see how he did in the night, and I couldn’t wait to see him when I returned home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation was good for growth and expanding our telepathic connection.
If you saw us in the afternoons and evenings, when he laid cradled in my arms and fell asleep on my chest as I gave him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddled him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting her baby to sleep for a much needed nap. The way he looked just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin was very telling.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really slept best is when we were cuddling, and he could relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He was nurturing me right back.
He helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I continue to experience and open to in my life in bigger ways on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence shifted and much was, and continues to be, supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
There is a greater sense of being that came from knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
Astrid wanted me to share about this connection with Cosmo, as a way to honor that Sacred Mother energy the collective is sharing this Sunday.
Little did she know that I would share on how she is an incredible reflection for me of what this means and looks like.
I am grateful for both Cosmo and Astrid for what they have helped ignite within me.
All of my sweet animal companions have been incredible teachers for me in the most beautiful ways. I truly wouldn’t be where I am and who I am without their guidance and inspiration.
Part of why Astrid wants me to share this is also as a way for the human collective to understand the deeper partnership we have with all life and that whether you find yourself surrounded with many humans, animals, plants, otherworldly friends, or simply living in union with Terra – our Earth Mother – and on your own, there is incredible richness available to know yourself more in the simplest of ways.
Life doesn’t have to look extraordinary or be extraordinary by anyone’s definition of what that means.
Life IS extraordinary in its simplicity.
Even the trials, the challenges, the ugly, the raw, the pains, the disappointments, the routine, the less than ideal – has a bitter sweetness that reveals we are truly alive, what we are capable of, and how infinite creativity is – an enriching extension of spirit and being, although our minds would rather negate these experiences.
These things enliven how it is to feel.
These things are exercise to the heart just as we exercise our physical body and other muscles.
So while I am a curious being by nature, it is in the most seemingly mundane moments that I have truly experienced myself, love, and peace.
My curiosity has led me to see what is right before me.
In caring for Cosmo and Astrid, and all of my sweet companions, they help focus my vision to the now.
I realized yesterday how potent today – Valentine’s Day – and the energy surrounding this day has been over the last couple of years for me and my little ones with big souls.
And while I shared February’s Newsletter last evening, which focused on the importance and value of self love and individual expression, I know that my beautiful animal companion partners have been instrumental in helping me to discover the layers of myself to love.
As I shared in my newsletter, “it just so happens that things have aligned to create Valentine’s Day as my day of falling in love with myself in a renewed way….celebrating a rekindling of my relationship to myself on a whole new level, as well as beginning a transition into another leg of my journey with shifts of focus and romancing my soul’s essence in a new dance of life.”
That dance of life couldn’t have been possible without my sweet loves and the precious and valuable reflections they have gifted me. Their soul journeys and the energy they carry have been the alchemy of my life.
And, this day – Valentine’s Day – one year ago was the beginning of Cosmo and Joy’s dance together, uniting the Sacred Masculine and Feminine energies that reflected for me the union within myself I was also ready to embrace and empower.
It is so interesting to see how throughout my life I mostly had only female animal companions.
I had only one other male energy – my first male rabbit, Twinkie, but for only three months of my life before he left this Earth. He began my journey, holding that point for me on the path, reminding me I would need to revisit his energy again when I was ready.
But it appears I needed to work with the Feminine energy first, as the collective has been doing too.
And so every dear companion after Twinkie was female – all of my parakeets and then of course Nestor, Gaia, and Joy.
It wasn’t until Cosmo that the Sacred Masculine returned…when I was ready to unite those parts in a new way within myself.
As it isn’t just about the Feminine focus. We cannot forget the Masculine and we will need revisit the Male energy to integrate both in their highest potential and purity, for wholeness.
This is the symbolism of divine love through divine union of both parts to create harmony.
And Joy and Cosmo’s journey has mirrored the energies I’ve been working on within myself, simultaneously. All of what has taken place couldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t been ready to integrate the next layers.
On this day, February 14th, 2015, in Big Bear,which was Joy and Cosmo’s first travels together, they shared their first and very long, peaceful nose-to-nose connection, which is what you see in this photo below.
And since that day, it’s been the most beautiful love connection filled with mutual respect, honor, tenderness, and warmth, which evolved into this not long after:
I can’t believe both that it’s already been a year, but that it’s only been a year!
It seems like an eternal love we have shared together across time.
And speaking of love across time…I’ve had Gaia on my mind a lot recently, finding myself connecting with the Tortoise/Turtle energy and using it as example for a lot of things I talk about….”slow and steady like the turtle” I often find myself saying…or “going within like the turtle”.
I then yesterday got struck with the realization of a very poignant and memorable experience that happened with Gaia, two years ago yesterday.
On February 13th, 2014 I shared this story about Gaia, Tattoos, Lapis Lazuli & Expansive Shifts ~ The Journey Continues
And in the story was a recounting of what took place right before Gaia went into the Earth for good, and back to her expansive self without a body. I realized just yesterday the magnitude of that moment we shared now with ever greater meaning that at the time had a different meaning.
Now I understand Gaia was saying much more than a farewell for now, as since she did not return, she was actually soulfully sharing her eternal love and gratitude across space and time until our return to each other in spirit one day.
Here is the excerpt from my post of that experience we shared:
“I’d like to finish this post with the most endearing, amazing, and precious moment of reverence and love I’ve had with Gaia – I’m tearing up right now writing this. The depth of meaning to all that has been unfolding and that does in my daily life, in general, I can’t possibly express. Yet, I know many of you understand in your own unique ways with all that you experience. So some things are simply left unsaid.
This special experience happened this morning. Since Gaia returned, we washed her up and brought her indoors. The first evening she spent on her heating blanket, then fell asleep on the cold tile, likely needing to moderate her body temperature back in stages. She remained out of it and still not eating. Next morning she spent on her heating blanket and still no food, but later during Reiki training, she came marching through and made her way to my office and I later found her asleep under the bottom of my wall tapestry of Faery Queen Astranaithes – also known as the magickal Dragon Witch.
This morning when she woke up I brought her to her heating blanket and then put out some more food. This time she went to it and slowly ate several bites, taking her time to assimilate it. Then I watched what she wanted to do next, as I made smoothies and golden raisin, cinnamon scones in the kitchen. I saw her walk toward the door to the yard and looked at it, then went back to her heating blanket. I had a feeling she wanted back outside.
I went to go sit with her and check in. And this is when the most magickal moment happened.
I won’t be able to explain the magnitude, but I’ll just share what I experienced. I sat there with my hand, palm facing up, next to her, as I telepathically spoke to her. My hand started heating up like when I do Reiki and then Gaia slowly reached her right, front leg up and forward, letting it come to rest across my index and middle fingers where they connect to my palm. And she kept it there, as she then turned her neck towards me and stretched it as far as she could, looking me directly in my eyes, while we sat there – “holding hands”.
I was overcome with emotions hearing her saying thank you for everything, for trusting, and supporting her. All of the mutual respect, honor, gratitude and love we have shared through the ages all washed over us both in those minutes and we also were clear on how this journey would need to continue. I understood.
We were not only a human with her tortoise companion – leg in hand, but we were two souls meeting in our wholeness, as we recognized everything in that moment that was us and beyond us.
Tears rolled, as she then reached forward into my hand with her left, front leg and then slowly put half her body in my hand while again stretching to look up at me, asking me to lift and hold her up, as she once did for me. I held her to my heart and then knew she wanted back outside and wanted me to carry her there. I can share that Gaia has returned to the depths of Gaia – our connection and understanding deepened in mirror to the depths she will be traveling.”
I did not know then that our next meeting would be beyond this Earth experience.
And now I understand.
I understand so much more than I once have and that has come through the love and connection I share with my dear little ones.
Gaia, Joy, Cosmo, and Nestor have been my soul companions on a journey back to myself.
We have each supported one another and continue to do so regardless of being on or off Earth.
I have such a deep reverence for these souls that moves me beyond words. What they have helped me to uncover within myself could only have been through these bonds we shared.
I am deeply grateful they chose to show up with me again, this time around, as they/we knew it would be through our bond that I would evolve and work through my layers, just as I could support them with their journeys.
I have learned that love – the kind that is beyond physical love and walks the path of cosmic expansive love – is often the guiding force that trumps responsibility when we are challenged with doing what we know.
It’s no wonder that the souls in animal bodies would be the instruments to my soul’s evolution.
They know the way to my heart and my inner soul child.
And it is that heart and soul of the child within that has been the key all along.
The purity that resides there is the only mission I am driven to protect and express.
This is my little ones’ message for me…stand in the power, love, and purity of my innocence no matter what happens and takes place, for that is the sacred mystery that we seek.
And in order to do so I am my own mother and father…my own male and female partners…my own lover…my own friend…nurturing, guiding, loving, and supporting that innocence of being to sing her song she carries within her energetic signature.
Your inner soul child is simply wanting to be heard. And being heard, actually entails you have taken to heart what he or she says, and make a new commitment to do at least one small thing each day to support the requests.
These requests aren’t simply whims, but reflect a deeper knowing that will likely surpass your ability in the now to comprehend, but if you take the trustful steps to support them and do what it takes to integrate what could be of assistance to that process, the results will bless you beyond measure of any one thing you feel lacking and have been chasing after.
A new kind of clarity and understanding is available to each of us. It will awaken and shift you the instant you recognize and embrace it. And it will always keep you in check so as to alert you of imbalances where you can then make different choices that will harmonize and return that balance that is so needed for everything to flourish.
This will also help you to become more attuned to the natural world that will move you in divine cycles, rather than struggling against them to create artificial ones.
So, where are the barriers to your self love?
Removing the veils and masks will help you to be real about how you feel, not hiding behind what you think you “should” be feeling, saying, or showing to others.
If you can’t be genuine with something – and you know when you’re not – then take time to explore what’s behind that.
This is a time for opening up and expanding into more authentic love and compassion for self, others, and all of life.
Make this Valentine’s Day be the day of romancing YOUR soul’s essence in a new dance of life.
There are many ways to be a mother and there are many meanings for what a mother is to each of us. Regardless of how that looks and comes to be for each, the one we feel to call “mother” in our lives is one who provides us creative life energy, teaching, nurturing, unconditional love, as well as tough love, encapsulated in a timeless beauty seen by the heart.
This Divine Mother Energy can cross all imaginary boundaries of cultures, religions, races, species, life forms and beyond.
The Divine Mother Energy is also what we know as the Divine and Sacred Feminine Energy – that all-encompassing, unconditional love that is expressed towards others, ourselves, and to all of life. She understands “tough love” and unconditionally challenges her children, as she helps to foster their empowerment. All that the Divine Mother wants is for us to have love present in our hearts and to extend that reach within to our inner child, as well as to all children (our brothers and sisters of the Earth and Universe at large).
When love is present – the spiritual energy force that goes beyond the boundaries of relativity and materialism – we are connected to this Divine Energy.
We then, ourselves, come to embody the Divine Mother Energy and recognize and honor it in all others, the Earth herself, and as the Universal source of creation and love that it is. And when we merge this Divine Feminine energy in integrative partnership with the Divine Male, we create the impetus for a New Earth experience.
The bottom line is that honoring mothers, be they flesh and blood, adopted, symbolic, embodied as the Earth Mother herself, or the Divine Feminine Energy consciousness within and without, it is a Universal theme that everyone can relate to and is vital to life and enlightenment.
As I recently shared in a post, Awakening the Sacred Mother Within:
“I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
The alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember is within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and bring that forth in shining glory without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.”
Today we hold reverence for this Sacred Feminine and the birthing of new from this Sacred Womb of Creation within that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
Much love and gratitude to all “mothers,” especially Mother Earth who provides us abundantly in every way imaginable. And much respect and honor to the Sacred Feminine within us all that nurtures the very sacredness of spiritual potential and life substance.
Happy Divine Mother’s Day
“We’re sitting on our blessed Mother Earth from which we get our strength and determination, love and humility – all the beautiful attributes that we’ve been given. So turn to one another; love one another; respect one another; respect Mother Earth; respect the waters – because that’s life itself!” ~Phil Lane, Sr.
“The Goddess can be seen as the symbol, the normative image of immanence. She represents the divine embodied in nature, in human beings, in the flesh. The Goddess is not one image but many – a constellation of forms and associations – earth, air, fire, water, moon and star, sun, flower and seed, willow and apple, black, red, white, Maiden, Mother, and Crone. She includes the male in her aspects: He becomes child and Consort, stag and bull, grain and reaper, light and dark. Yet the femaleness of the Goddess is primary not to denigrate the male, but because it represents bringing life into the world, valuing the world. The Goddess, the Mother, as symbol of that value, tells us that the world itself is the content of the world, its true value, its heart, and its soul…..”~Starhawk, Dreaming the Dark
“This is why the wisdom of the feminine is so important, because the feminine understands the dynamics of relationship, how to listen and be receptive. Feminine consciousness is more attuned to the life of the body, and so knows the rhythms that belong to the cycles of life, rather than the systems imposed by will that are presently strangling our world. The feminine is more instinctively and naturally attuned to life, its patterns and powers. And feminine consciousness is less dominated by reason, more open to the mystery of the symbolic inner world. The feminine is vital in this work of awakening.” ~Alchemy of Light: Working with the Primal Energies of Life
“Certain kinds of work now specifically require the light of women. There is, for example, a work of bringing into this plane of existence a particular quality or vibration of spiritual energy that is needed for the transformation of life. This is a spiritual energy that belongs to the sacredness of matter, and because women have an instinctual understanding of the sacred nature of matter, this work of transmission can only be done by women. Women carry the sacred substance of life in their spiritual centers and understand how to give this quality of light to life; in their ability to give birth, women have the natural capacity to bring the light of a soul into the physical world of matter and thus awaken the spiritual potential of matter. Women also understand the connections between people and the connections within life; at this time women are needed to bring a seed of pure light into life where it can create new forms and new patterns of interrelationship that are essential to the healing and transformation of life.” ~Alchemy of Light: Working with the Primal energies of Life
“We need to reclaim the wisdom of the feminine but we cannot return to the time of the priestess. The masculine and feminine have to work together; our actions in the outer world must be guided by our receptivity to the inner. And there is no hierarchy to this work. Part of the blueprint of the future is the ability of each individual to participate directly with the work of the whole.” ~Spiritual Power
Since Cosmo has come into my life, things have definitely shifted, not just in the day-to-day routine, but in my inner realm, as well as with the dynamics at home.
But first, an update on the little Cosmic bunny….he continues to thrive and makes strides all the time. I never know what I’ll see next, as it’s a surprise each day what will evolve from his journey.
He’s currently receiving a combination of therapies that include:
- Out-of-home acupuncture and a non-invasive, non-painful technology called Veterinary Orthopedic Manipulation or VOM that provides an alternative, non-surgical approach to spinal disorders and lameness (a hand held device called a spinal accelerator or activator that delivers its force to the subluxated vertebra thereby reducing the subluxations by providing motion into the fixated or subluxated joint and by taking pressure off the spinal nerve) – especially safer for a very tiny, delicate bunny body than regular chiropractic physical adjustments
- Along with at-home therapies including crystal healing, Reiki massage, and physical therapy of leg extensions and 6-10 runs on his 8-foot therapy ramp
And like with any healing process, he has some excellent, exciting moments, and then some just normal days where not much new shows up. However, the excellent moments indicate to me that things are shifting, and there is hope indeed to keep fueling!
On the 3rd (the day before the Full Blood Moon Solar Eclipse) was an example of one of those excellent days, which was mirrored again yesterday. Cosmo suddenly started laying on his opposite side (the side he normally stays away from doing so because it’s painful). And he stayed laying on it for a couple of hours, which also enabled him to sprawl out in an extended, relaxed position that allowed him to sleep so sound and comfortably.
This was so sweet to see because normally he sleeps in a partially upright position on one side and his head just kind of falls as he falls asleep. So to see him all sprawled out and looking so comfy made me so happy. And then he would get up and go eat on his own, able to sit up properly and move around like a bunny without an injury and then back to sleep all sprawled out again.
He did this again yesterday, as I mentioned, directly after I gave him a long Selenite Crystal healing with Reiki session, as he fell asleep on my chest.
I’ve had to have the vet give him a sanitary shave on the right side where he lays because his fur had become so badly matted and nothing I did was helping at this point. I’ve never had to handle a situation like this, so every day is a learning curve and now I have a new regime of extra care in place to ensure no more matting takes place. (This happened/happens because he lays on one side all of the time, due to pain, and pees on himself. Even as much as I changed out pee pads and washed him, he’d already had too long of a build up from before he’d come to me.)
With the help of my friend Kelly, I got a couple of new products to try, once his hair grows back, to implement along with the daily brushing after each bath and drying. This is a combo of “Static Shmatic” all natural spray to use with brushing, and Lumino Diatomaceous Earth to keep the areas dry in between. But, since I am at home with him daily, I change out his pee pads every time he pees, and bathe and blow dry him every morning.
The staining you see on his lower body in the photo is normal, due to urine, but eventually when he’s better, this will go away in time when he’s not laying on that side all the time. It’s the same with paws.
Most bunnies you see have yellow paws because they are kept in cages and stand/sit/sleep in urine, but Joy has no urine staining whatsoever because she is free to roam, is potty trained, and I have a special, gentle screen that sits on her litter, so she isn’t soaking in pee while she eats her hay, and doesn’t hurt her delicate feet either.
Cosmo’s fur has actually become much brighter than when he first came to me and he is so much more vibrant in spirit in general.
Every night I also give Cosmo a Reiki massage up and down his spine and on his legs. The few times I haven’t been able to, I immediately see the difference in his ramp runs, directly done after. He will drag the painful leg more and not use it normally at all. But when I massage him, as I did last night with him falling asleep on my chest like a little baby again, he does really well.
And last night was one of the amazing days where he was running, using both legs nearly equally, and wouldn’t fall over at the ends. He was able to do this last night the whole time he ran his 8 runs. Sometimes I see just a burst of good leg use in the first 2 or 3 runs before he tires, but all of his runs were really strong last night.
And recently, he had another really awesome night where I didn’t have to pick him up and turn him around to get on his ramp at the end each time. He actually was able to do that all on his own and followed my voice, as I called to him to meet me on the other end! Incredible.
These bursts come and go, but they are all super promising, and along with his great appetite and a lot of loving encouragement and extra double time I’m starting to devote more to his Crystal and Reiki massages (as they really seem to benefit him greatly along with the rest), I am super encouraged we’re getting a good momentum going for something bigger eventually.
Since he’s only been here for 2 and a half months, I think that’s pretty excellent progress nonetheless!
And along the way, what I’ve noticed is that it’s not just about this healing journey that we’re partnering in, but it’s about so much more!
Joy is doing really awesome with him and there has not been any fighting or agitation between them at all. We still take it all slowly and never leave them unattended together without separation, as I can tell that my encouragement and sometimes placing a Crystal with them helps, but there seems to be a peace truce and mutual respect developing. In the process, Joy has also come to like being held so much more, which is an added gift bonus!
She lets me pick her up easily now when I transport her for bonding time back and forth, or just when I move her while cleaning in my office, and she also enjoys just cuddling for a while with mom before she decides its time to explore and she doesn’t seem to have the panic she used to have. So she’s definitely seeing from watching me with Cosmo, that bunnies don’t always have to have their ultra defense mechanisms on when someone loving them is tenderly connecting.
That’s a huge deal for any bunny (let alone Joy, whom like my Nestor, has always had issue with this) that has that fight or flight, prey-fear conditioned in them on such a deep level. And that’s not to mention, what ever other personal stuff they each have gone through or how they’ve been treated in the past, or simply how freedom loving they are.
But wait…it’s not just about the bunnies and their amazing evolutionary journeys, but it’s about what mom is receiving too, not to mention all the people and other animals they have touched and inspire along the way – love hearing those stories. ❤
That brings me to the title of this post, “Awakening the Sacred Mother Within”.
As mentioned when I began, we have both received in enriching ways from this union. My life, while lovely and blessed, got an extra infusion of specialness when Cosmo came into it. There is never an end to the expansive ways our lives can be touched, deepened, and enchanted.
Although I will never be a mother in the sense of birthing my own child, nor have the desire to, Cosmo has truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way.
I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
The alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember is within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and bring that forth in shining glory without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
That said, I have experienced another level to my own Sacred Feminine and Mother with this union between Cosmo and I. I have explored the many other ways, and continue to deepen those experiences, to deepen my own personal relationship to this aspect of myself. But it wasn’t until Cosmo that I have had the chance to truly know the aspect I hadn’t explored, which is that of this mother to baby relating and connection that he has invoked.
While I have, and had, other animal companion children, and they indeed were and have been cared for like my children, they’ve been more like partners, best friends, and co-facilitators in my life. Cosmo, while he is his own magickal soul with gifts still revealing themselves to me that will come more into play soon, and is another dear soul friend, he truly is the only one I feel is my “baby”.
I have many nicknames for all my little ones that constantly shift, but he’s the only one I say “my baby” to.
The dynamic is different. And in his embrace of his role, I am able to embrace my own.
Now, of course I’m in a human body, but a very much larger part of me is much not human in several regards. One of which is my identification with animals, since I’ve been one so many times. My brother actually, since I was young, has always called me an animal and referred to my hands and feet as paws. LOL!
But all silliness aside, for me, it feels as if he truly is a baby I’ve birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular, focused period of time, but it’s there. I have these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I get to spend with him, even if it’s the rigorous routines others might tire from, I am thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I can spend with him especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be, time stands still, I don’t feel I need to do anything else, and actually would be happy just taking care of him.
I love bath time and I love holding his hand when I take him in to his appointments, reassuring him I’m right there. I love waking to see how he did in the night, and I can’t wait to see him when I return home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation is good for growth and expanding on our telepathic connection.
And if you see us in the afternoons and evenings, when he lays cradled in my arms and falls asleep on my chest as I give him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddle him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting their baby to sleep for a much needed nap, the way he looks just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really sleeps best is when we’re cuddling, and he can relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He’s nurturing me right back.
He’s helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I’m experiencing opening to in my life in bigger ways right now on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence is shifting and much is being supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
It is also this time period where much of my innate gifts have been revealing themselves more and much more of my natural essence is deepening.
There’s simply a greater sense of knowingness that comes in knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
The energy I feel aligns very much with the sacred tattoo design I posted, “The Cosmic Dance” that is awakening the great healer and creator within me – the essence we all have innately within each of us.
Cosmo has such a beautiful, clear, yet enigmatic male energy, which also has been new to me to partner with in terms of an animal companion. He has a dynamic energy, vibrant, huge all-seeing starry eyes, very alert ears and senses, a courageous heart, powerful action force (we call him the human torpedo the way he bursts through his ramp run with energetic gusto), has a strong presence and will fight for himself, and yet is tender and love-expressive with constant velvet licks and kisses, and the desire to be close and snuggle his head on and under you. When he’s excited, he falls all over himself, twists and rolls on his back, wiggles like a worm, and can’t get to you soon enough. Nothing will stop him from what moves him with excitement and what he wants to create! He wriggles through and through with eternal rhythm like that of liberating and fiery Shiva.
I love having two magickal bunnies in the physical with me, and a third watching over us. And am ever-grateful for what all of them gift me in their own special ways.
This newest gift of a more profound experiential Sacred Mother embodiment has been such a blessing that along with the tremendous shifts I’ve experienced with my recent sacred journeys, and from the support of all the new Crystal friends, elixirs, and new energy channeling through me, has indeed been like a transmutational rebirthing all culiminating near, on, and around my actual birthday this year.
Just when you thought you had received so much, you receive some more. 🙂 Thank you for this dance, Cosmo.
There was little snow, but the Big Bear resorts make their own, so the conditions for skiing were still pretty good and actually quite nice being so warm – like springtime – while still getting to enjoy gliding down the mountain and taking in the sights from above.
I had to smile at the magickal energy around, as the cabin where we stayed was named Rainbow Cabin and it resided on Rainbow Ave.
I also caught something from the Elemental Realm in a photo where it appears as a burst of faery dusted lights emanating green sparkles, below the sun burst through the trees.
I had decided that while away, this would be the perfect time to work on bonding Joy and Cosmo, my two bunnies. Neutral zones are the best for this, and so that’s what we did. Each day we shared one to two 20 minutes sessions of bonding.
And I have to say, I am SO pleased at what took place.
There was no crazy, aggressive, or ferocious behaviors. I was mostly concerned about how Joy would be, but she had proven to be past her fears, and now was just working at creating healthy boundaries.
Joy is a sensitive one and has challenges with certain male energies. This has created a fear in her that can really throw her off if she doesn’t have tools to regain balance. We’ve worked on this in the past and she has gotten through things much quicker because of the support.
Something to understand about Joy is that she is quite a powerful presence (a strong Female integrating her Sacred Male (Cosmo) and has very BIG energy, even though she is in this tiny little, peaceful bubble of fur. Yet, she can get unbalanced very easily when stressed. That’s not unfamiliar territory to mom, so it’s no wonder she is in my life and that we are able to understand and help one another.
Cosmo on the other hand is a very different male energy. He is definitely in touch with his Sacred Feminine (Joy) and simply wants to give love and has no problem supporting Joy’s needs to create boundaries and exercise her control in doing so. In fact, he will become submissive to do so.
So when they were brought together for the first time, there was like a dance of energetic communication going on where Joy was laying the ground rules and Cosmo was listening and supporting them, learning to dial back his joyful exuberance.
I was there caressing both of them during all of it, as this helps keep the calm and also helps demonstrate to them that this is the behavior to be mimicking – that of nuzzling, grooming, and being gentle with one another.
I could tell that they both were in fact calm…no hyper breathing or crazy heart beats amping up. Joy did not exhibit fear. I allowed her to come and go as she pleased, which she did. She would act coy at first and pretend to occupy herself with something while she was assessing her moves and preparing herself for each encounter.
Then she would approach Cosmo and they would have long silent moments of nose-to-nose time, or sitting very close to each other, where a lot was being communicated even though it seemed nothing was – a testing ground in exercising boundaries and mutual respect.
And then Joy did her first dominating move to show who was in charge.
She started to hump Cosmo, but rather than from behind, she did it to his face/head. LOL! Humping is a normal behavior they can exhibit when introduced, as a way to show dominance, and as long as there is no fights, crazy biting, etc….this is okay. She did none of that, but I had to laugh so hard, and continued to do so long after, as it was so obvious Joy was literally “taking the bull by the horns” and laying it straight to Cosmo. She wanted him to know she was okay with him, but she would like to be in charge and that boundaries were needed to make her feel comfortable to then take the rest a day at a time.
And Cosmo did not fight this one bit. He laid there peacefully and submissively accepted the rules, as his only desire is to show his love for her. He seemed to understand her process and what she needed to work through and was happy to assist, as long as things didn’t get out of hand.
And after that things continued to unfold beautifully. She would come over to him and they’d smell each other, touch noses, lay by each other…and when she felt energetically she’d had enough, she then moved away until she could handle some more time connecting.
At times she would turn her back to him, but allow him to lay right by her with his head and nose touching her side and sniffing her.
I was very happy to say the least, with a heart bursting with warmth.
Yet to add to this happiness was another amazing thing that took place during this weekend by Cosmo. On one of the days, after I did his leg extension therapy exercises, he sat himself up all on his own and he moved around like a normal little bunny, upright and fully balanced and strong for a good 10 minutes!
This was incredible! Normally he can do it for brief moments, or I help support one side for him, as it’s mostly to help strengthen his legs and muscles. But he was up and about and moving around as if he had no injury.
It brought such joyful tears. He hasn’t done it since, but if he did it once, he WILL do it again!
There was much to celebrate indeed from the weekend.
And while away I had my own processes I was going through. In many ways I feel, just like our animal soul companions take on things for us to ease our struggles and pains, as well as to teach us about how we can move through our challenges, I, too, was going through similar mirroring experiences.
I found myself working again with my own boundaries and stress triggers…something I knew nothing about for the greater portion of my life, being so ultra no-boundaryish both as a Pisces and as a super-sensitive. But it has become incredibly important to me in my latter years and something I have to continually be on top of energetically so as to create my own balance, just like Joy.
I was very proud of Joy, and yet I also would like to assist her in balancing her energy. I know I can do this by example, as this is more powerful than merely telling her how.
There is such a thing as going from one extreme to another, so once she/we understand where our comfort zone of personal well being and accountable responsibility truly lies, then we can learn to tweak things and dial back or increase boundary exercising so that we also allow for the giving and receiving in a natural and loving flow to take place.
So, I do share with Joy how proud I am that she is exercising boundaries without ferocious aggression, I also point out how Cosmo is listening and only wants to love her, and that he has disabilities where her loving, very powerful healing energy could be supportive to him. So, she will need to find a balance that feels comfortable where she can both give and receive, while honoring her needs.
Something mom has had come up a lot, and this weekend when I unplugged, it allowed me the space to have stresses make themselves known that had been weighing on me. And it showed me what I don’t want, won’t entertain, and am not okay with, and what I do want very clearly, but first I had to go through a day of feeling that bubble to the surface, causing me to wake in the middle of the night with anxiety.
The next evening I then pulled a muscle in my lower back literally by doing nothing weird physically other than get up from squatting down, after I had made some notes in my notebook.
I knew immediately this was a manifestation of the energy I had unleashed and was working through, not to mention, it also felt partially tied to Cosmo. I always look at the underlying root of the challenge that the physical is simply a trigger and manifested message of.
The pulled muscle was literally debilitating and I was wiggling around just like my little wiggle worm Cosmo when I would lay down, as I literally couldn’t sit, lay down, or move much more than walking straight, let alone sneeze, blow my nose, or laugh without being aware of the pain. It just so happens that it was on my right side, just like his injury and I didn’t think that was coincidence either. Not to mention, the right has direct connection to the male energy I, just like Joy, am working with.
For me that is about how I’ve been working with and integrating the new male energy in my daily life experiences of how I go about things and exercise healthy assertion, boundaries, and active energy. It is this key that I’m at threshold with in my own life changes that is going to make a huge difference.
I’d never experienced this before, although have heard of people always saying how they bent over and did this or that and suddenly pulled a muscle. However, I don’t look at these things as accidents, but rather, see them for what they really are.
So, I was actually very grateful for it happening, as it meant I was moving through this stuff I’d been digging deep into with my own work, so that I could be done with it. Having the physical manifestation show up is a good thing in my book. As if it just stays in the mental arena, it isn’t going to really do the healing and transmutation needed to move beyond it fully. So, I celebrated the pain and thanked it for showing up. Up and out, as I like to say!
And it also really felt like Cosmo and I were becoming One through this experience as well. And so it took my relationship to my own challenge and myself, as well as my relationship with Cosmo, to a whole other level.
It also gave me more time to relax and allow others to do things for me. I could still walk and gently hike, which was much easier than sitting or laying down (not to mention nurturing to be out in fresh nature), as long as it wasn’t a straining walk. And I got time in the jacuzzi, took a couple baths, as well as enjoyed a massage on my way back home – all really nurturing.
Then yesterday, I took Cosmo to his first acupuncture appointment. He did so amazing while the doctor put needles throughout his spine, legs, and even on his crown chakra and then hooked him up to the electrodes.
I stood there for the nearly 2 hours (which was a little challenging) rubbing his little head and cheeks, as he went into zen mode. I was so touched when I had to take a break to use the restroom and upon return the doctor said, “Cosmo really loves and knows his mom, as when you left he turned his head and looked after you as if to say ‘where are you going?’ and when he heard your voice in the hall, even though there were other voices, his ears perked up and he became alert even through his zen mode.”
That warmed my heart.
And after I got home from the appointment, my back was feeling 90% healed (after basically being fully handicapped myself). Instantly. Like that! We really are SO connected.
I was then greeted by a dear friend visiting from out of town and although I had a busy schedule, I released it all to spend time to have lunch and walk on the beach with her, as I knew that was the best thing for me rather than worrying about how to get things done before I leave Friday.
I was so grateful to receive a surprise birthday gift from her, and another in the mail from my sweet faery sister. I also received three really supportive and abundant manifestations directly after, which all felt to be direct blessings for my willingness to embrace the change.
I continue to take it easy, and doing only that which I feel within my comfort zone to do, just like Joy, and am happy to share I am still feeling at 90%, which is awesome and amazing, as to how quickly I reversed things.
The last 10% is up to me, as to whether I quickly move through it and get back to balance fully. Or, if I were NOT to heed the message and NOT to apply what I know, hence could easily revert back to full debilitation again just as quickly.
The journey is up to us as to which way we want to go, how easy or challenging it will be, and how much peace we allow and embrace, regardless of what shows up.
Being that I know the connection between all things, my personal work can be a reflection and energetic opening for both Joy and Cosmo, as theirs is for me. And it is also this reason I share with you, as we are all energetically linked.
Powerful, deep, and thought-provoking! Thank you for sharing this Amanda.
Beautiful Sacred Feminine inspiration both in sound and vision…enjoy!
Beautiful….the Sacred Feminine. Thank you Amanda for this powerful share. Love it!
Laura lays it all out on the table and tells it how it is….I so honor her courageous beauty to speak out, get down and dirty, and dig into the rich and gritty shadows. You’ll find no cotton candy here folks.
If you have switched off one button in replace of another, you likely just remember some remnant of truth, but no longer feel it. Here’s a post that may not ring in for everyone, but it certainly will get your attention and ruffle any feathers that might have desired some aroused attention to their innate freedom potential.
This post has been rolling around in the hay and compost for awhile — decomposing, fermenting and recomposing into something that resembles dirt. Or soil. Nourishment for roots, fungi, worms and souls. If that sounds distasteful to you, then you might not like this post, and I’m OK with that. But I cannot, in good conscience, say nothing, so here goes, in no particular order, because sometimes messy, sullied, unruly, damp and slimy provide exactly what standardized artificial fertilizers, synthetic UV lights, rationality and endless iterations of patriarchal straightjackets fail to deliver. Here goes.
Take a mainstream media source, any mainstream media source, male or female. Now take an alternative media source — go ahead, there’s a lot to choose from: Alex Jones, Jon Rappoport, David Icke, Zero Hedge, David Wilcox, Benjamin Fulford, Jeff Rense … and many more. Take a politician, any politician, male or female, including Hillary “
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