The last couple of nights my sweet boy, Cosmo, has been coming to me in my dreams. I feel him so strongly that my heart both aches and feels enlivened by the waves of his powerful love running through it. His love is as vast as the cosmic waters of All That Is. He knows that it is because of his presence and my other bunny loves, including Astrid here in this realm, that I feel most inspired to move forward with the things my heart whispers. He and they are the wind beneath my wings. We are One.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I feel he is sending me a message of love and gratitude, as he truly was my son in every sense of the word.
I’ve written before about how he was the one who truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way, even though I will never experience an actual physical birth in this life with a child.
Astrid is in every sense of the word, a true embodiment of Sacred Mother energy, as she so beautifully and powerfully exhibits how she watches over the humans and bunnies we know and the creatures of the forest here, and how she walks in partnership with her Earth Mother. Although she is so clearly of the stars and exhibits being much more from beyond than of Earth, she is very balanced in her energies as a Virgo, and hugely in touch with that feminine earthiness.
She is a beautiful example for me of this balance and a model of both the tenderness and awe-inspiring power and strength of the Sacred Feminine and Mother.
Between both Cosmo and Astrid, I am receiving the gifts of what it means to walk in this essence ever more so each day.
As I shared in a post about Cosmo several years back, I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
And equally, men have access to this essence, as there is a union we each have dancing within us even though we are playing out one role more than the other. This is something we can become more and more aware of, as we tune into and honor these parts both inside and out.
I believe that the alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember being within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and shine forth without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
For me, it feels as if Cosmo truly was a baby I birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular focused one, but it’s there. I had these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I got to spend with him, even if it was the rigorous routines others might tire from, I was thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I could spend with him, especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I always felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, time stood still, I didn’t feel I needed to do anything else, and actually would have been happy just taking care of him.
I loved bath time and I loved holding his hand when I took him in to his vet and therapy appointments, reassuring him I was right there. I loved waking to see how he did in the night, and I couldn’t wait to see him when I returned home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation was good for growth and expanding our telepathic connection.
If you saw us in the afternoons and evenings, when he laid cradled in my arms and fell asleep on my chest as I gave him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddled him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting her baby to sleep for a much needed nap. The way he looked just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin was very telling.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really slept best is when we were cuddling, and he could relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He was nurturing me right back.
He helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I continue to experience and open to in my life in bigger ways on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence shifted and much was, and continues to be, supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
There is a greater sense of being that came from knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
Astrid wanted me to share about this connection with Cosmo, as a way to honor that Sacred Mother energy the collective is sharing this Sunday.
Little did she know that I would share on how she is an incredible reflection for me of what this means and looks like.
I am grateful for both Cosmo and Astrid for what they have helped ignite within me.
All of my sweet animal companions have been incredible teachers for me in the most beautiful ways. I truly wouldn’t be where I am and who I am without their guidance and inspiration.
Part of why Astrid wants me to share this is also as a way for the human collective to understand the deeper partnership we have with all life and that whether you find yourself surrounded with many humans, animals, plants, otherworldly friends, or simply living in union with Terra – our Earth Mother – and on your own, there is incredible richness available to know yourself more in the simplest of ways.
Life doesn’t have to look extraordinary or be extraordinary by anyone’s definition of what that means.
Life IS extraordinary in its simplicity.
Even the trials, the challenges, the ugly, the raw, the pains, the disappointments, the routine, the less than ideal – has a bitter sweetness that reveals we are truly alive, what we are capable of, and how infinite creativity is – an enriching extension of spirit and being, although our minds would rather negate these experiences.
These things enliven how it is to feel.
These things are exercise to the heart just as we exercise our physical body and other muscles.
So while I am a curious being by nature, it is in the most seemingly mundane moments that I have truly experienced myself, love, and peace.
My curiosity has led me to see what is right before me.
In caring for Cosmo and Astrid, and all of my sweet companions, they help focus my vision to the now.
Since Cosmo has come into my life, things have definitely shifted, not just in the day-to-day routine, but in my inner realm, as well as with the dynamics at home.
But first, an update on the little Cosmic bunny….he continues to thrive and makes strides all the time. I never know what I’ll see next, as it’s a surprise each day what will evolve from his journey.
He’s currently receiving a combination of therapies that include:
- Out-of-home acupuncture and a non-invasive, non-painful technology called Veterinary Orthopedic Manipulation or VOM that provides an alternative, non-surgical approach to spinal disorders and lameness (a hand held device called a spinal accelerator or activator that delivers its force to the subluxated vertebra thereby reducing the subluxations by providing motion into the fixated or subluxated joint and by taking pressure off the spinal nerve) – especially safer for a very tiny, delicate bunny body than regular chiropractic physical adjustments
- Along with at-home therapies including crystal healing, Reiki massage, and physical therapy of leg extensions and 6-10 runs on his 8-foot therapy ramp
And like with any healing process, he has some excellent, exciting moments, and then some just normal days where not much new shows up. However, the excellent moments indicate to me that things are shifting, and there is hope indeed to keep fueling!
On the 3rd (the day before the Full Blood Moon Solar Eclipse) was an example of one of those excellent days, which was mirrored again yesterday. Cosmo suddenly started laying on his opposite side (the side he normally stays away from doing so because it’s painful). And he stayed laying on it for a couple of hours, which also enabled him to sprawl out in an extended, relaxed position that allowed him to sleep so sound and comfortably.
This was so sweet to see because normally he sleeps in a partially upright position on one side and his head just kind of falls as he falls asleep. So to see him all sprawled out and looking so comfy made me so happy. And then he would get up and go eat on his own, able to sit up properly and move around like a bunny without an injury and then back to sleep all sprawled out again.
He did this again yesterday, as I mentioned, directly after I gave him a long Selenite Crystal healing with Reiki session, as he fell asleep on my chest.
I’ve had to have the vet give him a sanitary shave on the right side where he lays because his fur had become so badly matted and nothing I did was helping at this point. I’ve never had to handle a situation like this, so every day is a learning curve and now I have a new regime of extra care in place to ensure no more matting takes place. (This happened/happens because he lays on one side all of the time, due to pain, and pees on himself. Even as much as I changed out pee pads and washed him, he’d already had too long of a build up from before he’d come to me.)
With the help of my friend Kelly, I got a couple of new products to try, once his hair grows back, to implement along with the daily brushing after each bath and drying. This is a combo of “Static Shmatic” all natural spray to use with brushing, and Lumino Diatomaceous Earth to keep the areas dry in between. But, since I am at home with him daily, I change out his pee pads every time he pees, and bathe and blow dry him every morning.
The staining you see on his lower body in the photo is normal, due to urine, but eventually when he’s better, this will go away in time when he’s not laying on that side all the time. It’s the same with paws.
Most bunnies you see have yellow paws because they are kept in cages and stand/sit/sleep in urine, but Joy has no urine staining whatsoever because she is free to roam, is potty trained, and I have a special, gentle screen that sits on her litter, so she isn’t soaking in pee while she eats her hay, and doesn’t hurt her delicate feet either.
Cosmo’s fur has actually become much brighter than when he first came to me and he is so much more vibrant in spirit in general.
Every night I also give Cosmo a Reiki massage up and down his spine and on his legs. The few times I haven’t been able to, I immediately see the difference in his ramp runs, directly done after. He will drag the painful leg more and not use it normally at all. But when I massage him, as I did last night with him falling asleep on my chest like a little baby again, he does really well.
And last night was one of the amazing days where he was running, using both legs nearly equally, and wouldn’t fall over at the ends. He was able to do this last night the whole time he ran his 8 runs. Sometimes I see just a burst of good leg use in the first 2 or 3 runs before he tires, but all of his runs were really strong last night.
And recently, he had another really awesome night where I didn’t have to pick him up and turn him around to get on his ramp at the end each time. He actually was able to do that all on his own and followed my voice, as I called to him to meet me on the other end! Incredible.
These bursts come and go, but they are all super promising, and along with his great appetite and a lot of loving encouragement and extra double time I’m starting to devote more to his Crystal and Reiki massages (as they really seem to benefit him greatly along with the rest), I am super encouraged we’re getting a good momentum going for something bigger eventually.
Since he’s only been here for 2 and a half months, I think that’s pretty excellent progress nonetheless!
And along the way, what I’ve noticed is that it’s not just about this healing journey that we’re partnering in, but it’s about so much more!
Joy is doing really awesome with him and there has not been any fighting or agitation between them at all. We still take it all slowly and never leave them unattended together without separation, as I can tell that my encouragement and sometimes placing a Crystal with them helps, but there seems to be a peace truce and mutual respect developing. In the process, Joy has also come to like being held so much more, which is an added gift bonus!
She lets me pick her up easily now when I transport her for bonding time back and forth, or just when I move her while cleaning in my office, and she also enjoys just cuddling for a while with mom before she decides its time to explore and she doesn’t seem to have the panic she used to have. So she’s definitely seeing from watching me with Cosmo, that bunnies don’t always have to have their ultra defense mechanisms on when someone loving them is tenderly connecting.
That’s a huge deal for any bunny (let alone Joy, whom like my Nestor, has always had issue with this) that has that fight or flight, prey-fear conditioned in them on such a deep level. And that’s not to mention, what ever other personal stuff they each have gone through or how they’ve been treated in the past, or simply how freedom loving they are.
But wait…it’s not just about the bunnies and their amazing evolutionary journeys, but it’s about what mom is receiving too, not to mention all the people and other animals they have touched and inspire along the way – love hearing those stories. ❤
That brings me to the title of this post, “Awakening the Sacred Mother Within”.
As mentioned when I began, we have both received in enriching ways from this union. My life, while lovely and blessed, got an extra infusion of specialness when Cosmo came into it. There is never an end to the expansive ways our lives can be touched, deepened, and enchanted.
Although I will never be a mother in the sense of birthing my own child, nor have the desire to, Cosmo has truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way.
I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
The alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember is within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and bring that forth in shining glory without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
That said, I have experienced another level to my own Sacred Feminine and Mother with this union between Cosmo and I. I have explored the many other ways, and continue to deepen those experiences, to deepen my own personal relationship to this aspect of myself. But it wasn’t until Cosmo that I have had the chance to truly know the aspect I hadn’t explored, which is that of this mother to baby relating and connection that he has invoked.
While I have, and had, other animal companion children, and they indeed were and have been cared for like my children, they’ve been more like partners, best friends, and co-facilitators in my life. Cosmo, while he is his own magickal soul with gifts still revealing themselves to me that will come more into play soon, and is another dear soul friend, he truly is the only one I feel is my “baby”.
I have many nicknames for all my little ones that constantly shift, but he’s the only one I say “my baby” to.
The dynamic is different. And in his embrace of his role, I am able to embrace my own.
Now, of course I’m in a human body, but a very much larger part of me is much not human in several regards. One of which is my identification with animals, since I’ve been one so many times. My brother actually, since I was young, has always called me an animal and referred to my hands and feet as paws. LOL!
But all silliness aside, for me, it feels as if he truly is a baby I’ve birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular, focused period of time, but it’s there. I have these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I get to spend with him, even if it’s the rigorous routines others might tire from, I am thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I can spend with him especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I feel like I’m exactly where I need to be, time stands still, I don’t feel I need to do anything else, and actually would be happy just taking care of him.
I love bath time and I love holding his hand when I take him in to his appointments, reassuring him I’m right there. I love waking to see how he did in the night, and I can’t wait to see him when I return home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation is good for growth and expanding on our telepathic connection.
And if you see us in the afternoons and evenings, when he lays cradled in my arms and falls asleep on my chest as I give him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddle him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting their baby to sleep for a much needed nap, the way he looks just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really sleeps best is when we’re cuddling, and he can relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He’s nurturing me right back.
He’s helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I’m experiencing opening to in my life in bigger ways right now on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence is shifting and much is being supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
It is also this time period where much of my innate gifts have been revealing themselves more and much more of my natural essence is deepening.
There’s simply a greater sense of knowingness that comes in knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
The energy I feel aligns very much with the sacred tattoo design I posted, “The Cosmic Dance” that is awakening the great healer and creator within me – the essence we all have innately within each of us.
Cosmo has such a beautiful, clear, yet enigmatic male energy, which also has been new to me to partner with in terms of an animal companion. He has a dynamic energy, vibrant, huge all-seeing starry eyes, very alert ears and senses, a courageous heart, powerful action force (we call him the human torpedo the way he bursts through his ramp run with energetic gusto), has a strong presence and will fight for himself, and yet is tender and love-expressive with constant velvet licks and kisses, and the desire to be close and snuggle his head on and under you. When he’s excited, he falls all over himself, twists and rolls on his back, wiggles like a worm, and can’t get to you soon enough. Nothing will stop him from what moves him with excitement and what he wants to create! He wriggles through and through with eternal rhythm like that of liberating and fiery Shiva.
I love having two magickal bunnies in the physical with me, and a third watching over us. And am ever-grateful for what all of them gift me in their own special ways.
This newest gift of a more profound experiential Sacred Mother embodiment has been such a blessing that along with the tremendous shifts I’ve experienced with my recent sacred journeys, and from the support of all the new Crystal friends, elixirs, and new energy channeling through me, has indeed been like a transmutational rebirthing all culiminating near, on, and around my actual birthday this year.
Just when you thought you had received so much, you receive some more. 🙂 Thank you for this dance, Cosmo.