The last couple of nights my sweet boy, Cosmo, has been coming to me in my dreams. I feel him so strongly that my heart both aches and feels enlivened by the waves of his powerful love running through it. His love is as vast as the cosmic waters of All That Is. He knows that it is because of his presence and my other bunny loves, including Astrid here in this realm, that I feel most inspired to move forward with the things my heart whispers. He and they are the wind beneath my wings. We are One.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I feel he is sending me a message of love and gratitude, as he truly was my son in every sense of the word.
I’ve written before about how he was the one who truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way, even though I will never experience an actual physical birth in this life with a child.
Astrid is in every sense of the word, a true embodiment of Sacred Mother energy, as she so beautifully and powerfully exhibits how she watches over the humans and bunnies we know and the creatures of the forest here, and how she walks in partnership with her Earth Mother. Although she is so clearly of the stars and exhibits being much more from beyond than of Earth, she is very balanced in her energies as a Virgo, and hugely in touch with that feminine earthiness.
She is a beautiful example for me of this balance and a model of both the tenderness and awe-inspiring power and strength of the Sacred Feminine and Mother.
Between both Cosmo and Astrid, I am receiving the gifts of what it means to walk in this essence ever more so each day.
As I shared in a post about Cosmo several years back, I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
And equally, men have access to this essence, as there is a union we each have dancing within us even though we are playing out one role more than the other. This is something we can become more and more aware of, as we tune into and honor these parts both inside and out.
I believe that the alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember being within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and shine forth without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
For me, it feels as if Cosmo truly was a baby I birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular focused one, but it’s there. I had these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I got to spend with him, even if it was the rigorous routines others might tire from, I was thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I could spend with him, especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I always felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, time stood still, I didn’t feel I needed to do anything else, and actually would have been happy just taking care of him.
I loved bath time and I loved holding his hand when I took him in to his vet and therapy appointments, reassuring him I was right there. I loved waking to see how he did in the night, and I couldn’t wait to see him when I returned home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation was good for growth and expanding our telepathic connection.
If you saw us in the afternoons and evenings, when he laid cradled in my arms and fell asleep on my chest as I gave him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddled him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting her baby to sleep for a much needed nap. The way he looked just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin was very telling.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really slept best is when we were cuddling, and he could relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He was nurturing me right back.
He helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I continue to experience and open to in my life in bigger ways on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence shifted and much was, and continues to be, supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
There is a greater sense of being that came from knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
Astrid wanted me to share about this connection with Cosmo, as a way to honor that Sacred Mother energy the collective is sharing this Sunday.
Little did she know that I would share on how she is an incredible reflection for me of what this means and looks like.
I am grateful for both Cosmo and Astrid for what they have helped ignite within me.
All of my sweet animal companions have been incredible teachers for me in the most beautiful ways. I truly wouldn’t be where I am and who I am without their guidance and inspiration.
Part of why Astrid wants me to share this is also as a way for the human collective to understand the deeper partnership we have with all life and that whether you find yourself surrounded with many humans, animals, plants, otherworldly friends, or simply living in union with Terra – our Earth Mother – and on your own, there is incredible richness available to know yourself more in the simplest of ways.
Life doesn’t have to look extraordinary or be extraordinary by anyone’s definition of what that means.
Life IS extraordinary in its simplicity.
Even the trials, the challenges, the ugly, the raw, the pains, the disappointments, the routine, the less than ideal – has a bitter sweetness that reveals we are truly alive, what we are capable of, and how infinite creativity is – an enriching extension of spirit and being, although our minds would rather negate these experiences.
These things enliven how it is to feel.
These things are exercise to the heart just as we exercise our physical body and other muscles.
So while I am a curious being by nature, it is in the most seemingly mundane moments that I have truly experienced myself, love, and peace.
My curiosity has led me to see what is right before me.
In caring for Cosmo and Astrid, and all of my sweet companions, they help focus my vision to the now.
Near or far never changes your presence in my heart and the magick you shower my life with. I love you more today and although you were only with us for a short while, your love is etched in my spirit eternally.
Three years ago, today, this sweet boy came home with me, forever stole my heart, and both changed and saved my life forever.
Today, I woke to the most snow we’ve had yet this season here at the Forest Portal.
No coincidence this fell on our anniversary.
It felt like a sprinkling of your magick, sweet Cosmo, coming through the portal here.
I love, adore, and miss you.
Not a day goes by that you aren’t felt or spoken of.
Your love and spirit are as pure as the powdered snow in this Winter Wonderland.
My life has changed over night, since the arrival of a new bunny love. Just this Sunday I went to pick up Blizzy (his rescue name), a nine year old special needs rabbit, from the adoption event at Petco in Pasadena, facilitated by Bunny World Foundation.
His previous foster family brought him to the event so that I could take over his care.
This has all been sudden, but as change is a constant in life (more so in mine I think because I welcome and flow with it) once again I find everything evolving in beautiful and unexpected ways.
How did this all come about? Well, I would say magickally. I’ll share a little on why.
I mentioned in earlier posts how rabbit energy has increasingly been showing up and due to several dreams, I knew that I wanted to do more for rabbits, as they are so dear to my heart. I do already have an amazing little one, Joy, who is a powerful healer and potent being all around. And I have had two other bunnies in my life, including the magickal Nestor.
After the dreams I knew I wanted to be more active in helping rabbits, so I started volunteer work at a local rescue just a few minutes from my house. Rabbit energy continued to expand and envelope my life from there. Then one day, a week and a half ago, a friend tagged me in a post on Facebook from another rabbit rescue in Los Angeles, Bunny World Foundation.
They had just come into receiving two infant rabbits that were in need of care, with a traumatic story as to how they were now there on their own without mother and two siblings that are no longer on this physical plane.
My friend, like most people, knows that I’m a bunny person, or crazy rabbit lady 😉 I constantly see posts like these and normally I will focus my action in sending healing energy, but for some reason I felt compelled to contact the organization and offer even more direct help. I felt drawn to care for them to help them get strong and healthy so they could then be adopted. I sat there and wrote my email, but hesitated hitting send.
On some level I felt something more from this action I was taking and it was like a soul pause taking a moment to check in on making the definitive decision of responsible commitment on a level I was unaware of consciously, as I’m an all or nothing person. I don’t know the meaning of half a–sing things.
So after a minute or two I finally hit send.
It took a couple of days, but I then received an email from the head of Bunny World Foundation, and the rest unfolded from there.
They had found a woman that specialized in infant care, as the infants needed special tube feeding you have to be trained for, but Lejla (the head of Bunny World Foundation) and I ended up having a long conversation connecting about so many mutual things, including knowing the woman who runs Save A Bunny, where I adopted Joy from. We concluded the call by my saying I’d love to help out in any way I can and asked if there was anything special she needed help with.
And then she told me about Blizzy (named this because he reminded his rescuer person who was caring for him when he came to the Human Society of an Oreo Blizzard).
Blizzy was in need of a new foster home, as his current foster family was no longer able to care for him. They’d been looking for the last few months for someone and it was crucial he find a home that week.
And of course, here I come along at the right time….I now know that he had called out to me, just as Joy, Nestor, and Gaia had, and I heard his call.
A little about Blizzy’s background – He was dumped at the doorsteps of Humane Society’s Hollywood Office in a cardboard box with NOTHING in it. He had some physical issues that they took care of right away. Everyone said he was the sweetest bunny they’d ever met because he loves being held and giving love.
He became somewhat of a celebrity bunny, as the new ambassador for the Humane Society International – End Animal Testing Campaign in China with actress Zhu Zhu as the first Chinese celebrity to ever speak out about animal testing in China – with Blizzy in her arms.
Then Blizzy became paralyzed from the lower back down about five months ago and is without use of his back legs. The extent of what happened and what his condition is, is something I am looking into, as I have a first appointment today to help get a handle on his situation and how best I can help him.
For now, we do have a long and patient journey ahead, not just in getting him strong again, but also in integrating him with my bunny, Joy.
I am not at liberty to go into more background on him, but needless to say I realize why he is with me, and I promise to give him the best care and love possible. If all goes well with the bunny bondingg, he will find himself a forever home here with us, and I will officially adopt him. But my first concern is to get him in the best possible shape and understand what is possible in terms of treatment, rehabilitation, surgery, etc.
He is in need of daily baths since he has lost ability and training in using his litter box, so he pees on himself. I am devising several creative ways to assist with this and perhaps at some point may be able to train him back into litter box use, or there are other options I’m working on right now for him. For now, he just pulls himself along with his front legs and his back legs twist under him to the left, dragging behind. I do see some slight movement in his little legs though, and he spreads his toes when I wash him, so I am hopeful that something could shift, as spontaneously as it shifted to where it is currently.
Either way, I will provide the best care I can give him and ensure he has the happiest life possible, full of love.
I’m also needing to get him on a normal feeding regime, and helping him to feel peaceful in the transition.
Joy is on soldier patrol, since she isn’t used to another bunny infringing on her boundaries, but I have to say she’s handling things still quite well despite her expected aggressive behavior and she is getting more calm as they spend time sharing space.
She will often sleep right by his pen near my stereo where the music is playing. And she is eating normally and behaving normally otherwise, but she has a lot to integrate too.
For now I have Blizzy in a pen in my office so that he is safe and out of harm from her or the cats, and the protective cover on the bottom handles his inability to use his litter box. In this way Joy and Blizzy can see each other and smell each other, but they can’t get at each other. I did have to get ingenious however, as they need to be able to see each other, but not interact yet in terms of being able to get paws and teeth at each other through the bars.
It took me some frustrated-to-tears moments yesterday to creatively figure this out, as I tried some things. I needed to fix this issue right away so that the bunnies weren’t getting stressed, as when Blizzy was curious to see Joy, she was aggressively attacking at the bar. So, I surrendered and had a good cry, asking for an idea.
I then got the idea to devise an outer perimeter with the second pen I had (good thing I had these on hand from years ago when I was training Joy). So I formed a geometric shape around the already octagon shaped pen (a bunny bagua), tying it at corners to create distance in areas that separated them from contact and at the few corners they meet, they have double bars making it not possible to get at each other. Phew!
The plan is to let them get used to each other in this way for a couple of weeks and then we will begin the bonding process slowly introducing them in a neutral zone (first outside of the house at the founder’s home) and then working on it in neutral zones in the house), baby step by baby step.
Being that I work from home and am with them all day really makes a difference, as the three of us are in my office together and I am able to play soft, beautiful music for them, which is having a wonderful calming effect on everyone. Plus, I can take care of immediate needs.
Right now I have Blizzy on a two-times-a-day bath schedule, morning and evening where I wash him in the sink and then dry him in a towel, holding him, while singing to him and giving him Reiki and gentle strokes. Although today is a three day bath day, as any time I notice he is getting soiled I want to make him more comfortable indeed, plus he has to go to the vet soon.
He is such a lover, licking me all the time, and although I know he is frustrated and has some pain (I am getting him meds today), he is still such a happy, strong soul with an amazingly brave and beautiful spirit.
I love seeing him peacefully sleeping and love caring for him. I don’t see any of it as a burden or stressful, but rather take pure joy catering to his needs, and am grateful for the richness he is bringing to my life. I know that he has much to give and teach us. I’ve literally spent the last two and a half days fully focused on him, as taking care of him and aiding the bond with Joy is the most important thing right now to me.
He’s already helping me to shift things in my own life that I’ve been wanting to, adding another element of sweetness and grace, and is touching a chord in my heart that is once again being expanded and deepened.
I love my time bathing him and helping to keep the energetic focus on wholeness and positivity, not wishing to look backward and dwell on what has been, but focusing on what is now and what we can create together.
I will be implementing holistic care, energy work, as well as taking the steps possible, physically. Physical therapy is likely part of the protocol. We are also seeing about potentially getting him a cart/wheelchair so that when he’s stronger and the two rabbits bond, that he can get himself around.
We’re also thinking about diapers as a potential, but I want to discuss all things with the doctor first before implementing.
I’ll know more about things once I’ve done a round of doctor’s visits at the vet and get a hold of his records.
In the meantime, he’s my special little boy and I know that while Joy on a physical level is having some challenge with the energy, that she is also doing her all to integrate her own balancing and supporting him with her powerful healing energy as well to help him.
So that’s where my energy has been focused and I think I now have a good little regime in place so that the rest can all be integrated and balanced back in.
If I don’t post as much at times, you’ll know why though, as this little one and having both bunnies peaceful is priority.
I will say that, like with all things in my life, there is no randomness about it. I sensed this was something big for me…a mission in fact. And that was reiterated the day I picked him up. On my way out a hawk was sitting on the light post giving me the support, and on the way home, another. But while driving, a dear friend called that knew I was on my way to get him and she was sending me love and support. I said out loud to her, there was just something about this that I knew was so much bigger and I used the word “mission” to describe it.
And right after we got off the phone, a song came on and the words said, “it’s more than just a mission….” and at that exact simultaneous moment, I was just crossing over “Mission St.”
I got chills and knew in my heart everything was in divine grace.
On the way home, just as I did with Joy and Gaia, I put on mantras and sang to him…calming him at a cellular level.
I’ve referred to him as Blizzy in this post, but to me this is not his name.
I knew the moment I heard what he’d been called up until now, and saw his photo, that the first thing that needed to change was his name. It was not energetically supportive.
I didn’t know the name that truly was his, feeling that would come to me when the time was right. And that time was just three days before he came home. The name actually came to me magickally through the Orcas from my dream I posted about.
And after that I remembered that Cosmo, just like Joy and Nestor, was a name I had said in my late teens in high school that I would name a little one in my life that came to me as a boy. Those were the only three names I remember stating out loud with knowingness that I would name animal companions that might come into my life.
And now here he is.
Until he is officially adopted, I don’t know that his name can be changed, but to me he is Cosmo regardless.
Cosmo is such a courageous and spirited soul. He amazes me at how his will and love has carried him through to where he is. A remarkable feat for anyone, but for a delicate and sensitive being like a rabbit, it’s truly one of those miracle stories that moves your heart in inspiring ways.
I will share more, as the journey evolves. Right now, just taking it one day at a time, and with increased love flowing each day.
Learning of his situation and also experiencing the beauty of this experience from its larger picture place, has brought both tears of deep sadness and joy. I literally feel like a different person in just a matter of two days and continue to experience the shifts this is all creating in my own life, not to mention these two sweet ones’ lives.
It’s so interesting to look at the two of them. Joy is gray and white. Cosmo is black and white. They both have spotted markings. Joy is a lop eared rabbit and doesn’t have the greatest eye sight or ability to hear (one of the effects of breeding to create lop eared rabbits by humans). However, she is super-sensitized and her sense of smell and all other extrasensory perceptions are highly, highly attuned (inner senses), although has the power and assertion when needed. Cosmo is a straight eared rabbit and highly alert with both hearing and sight (outer senses), although is a sensitive bunny and very tender.
They are both very sweet, highly attuned, and are simply pure love.
We are so blessed and how grateful am I to have these two angels who so beautifully embody sacred feminine and male energy.