The following blog post is not a new one, but a reshare of one I wrote 5 years ago that feels to be an important theme to impart once again. The next few months are increasingly going to be VERY full with everything manifesting right now to manage so I will try to share new things, but a lot of messages are key to recycle, as we journey along the spiral of life and need to keep revisiting things from a new perspective that will at some point (perhaps now) finally take hold for us and click into action! This one speaks to those of you facing fears or inertia to make those shifts and embrace your creative spark wanting through. It also speaks to my own processes I’ve continued to engage and currently am involved in, in writing my new book. I have found my authentic voice and regardless of what I’m writing not really fitting any particular genre out there, I’m writing it nonetheless and not comparing myself, not trying to be like any other writer, not trying to emulate what’s popular, nor am I worrying about what others may think of it, nor spending time wondering what will become of it. I’m doing just what Sarah (below) advises – listening to the creator within, while SUPER JOYOUSLY enjoying the process, and it’s leading me on MY right path. That’s all that matters. The journey, not the result. The BEING, not the TRYING.
Here is the post reshared here, as I couldn’t just reblog it:
As many visionaries in the fields of healing and creative arts are stepping up and into their unique roles they came to embody, challenges may present themselves to overcome. There are many factors that potentially may be blocking, limiting, frustrating, or discouraging you, but they all stem from the illusions of fear and in some cases can be hard to see for yourself, as you know just how to ingeniously hide and disguise them with self-sabotaging finesse. Sometimes the seeming challenges can also be linked with collective, divine timing and therefore patience, flow, and taking aligned, synchronized steps may be needed and remind yourself to enjoy and be present in the moment, rather than live in the future or past.
One of the recurring themes of fear I see is that of self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, or self-devaluation. There is a tendency to disregard the unique gifts you have as being valuable and instead to compare or compete with others, rather than simply embracing and honoring what only you can share with the world. Energy gets diverted and drained in trying to emulate or live up to what you see “out there” rather than focusing and honing that energy into simply creating and channeling forth from “within.”
Some may feel that my approach of staying within my experience of art (as one example) and not immersing myself in other artists’ works, may seem counter-productive. Why would you not study, view, take technical classes, etc, for the thing you are doing as your work? Would you not want to refine it and have it be something more? My question to that is, who is judging the “more” and by what definition of refinement am I to be working towards? While I honor all artistic expression as valuable, my answer is, by creating from my heart in each moment and learning through the experience of doing, do I grow and evolve and create art that is uniquely from my expression alone and what I am meant to create, regardless of what standards the outside world has boxed art into.
This is not the way or process for everyone, but for me, it is how I stay authentic and true to what wants to channel through me. This is, in many ways, the way I operate in all areas of my life. I am not naive, but I do know that the innocence I retain in drawing from within, is my unlimited creative power.
To express what is most naturally authentic to you in your own way is what makes a difference. There are reasons we are each in an individual body, even though we are collectively connected. One of which is to naturally be who you are and to allow that to channel through your heart in the way that mirrors the gifts you chose to birth in with. Let your light shine.
This theme is perfectly and simply expressed by Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book, Simple Abundance: A Day Book of Comfort and Joy. I hope you find some gems of supportive insight in what she shares:
You Can’t Be Original – You Can Be Authentic
One of the reasons many of us have trouble getting our Work out into the world is that unconsciously we’re competing instead of creating, which always short-circuits the flow of inspiration. A friend of mine is a gifted playwright. She denies herself the pleasure of seeing anything on the stage other than revivals of classics, preferably Greek. It’s too painful for her to watch contemporary work because she is addicted to comparisons.
Why do we make ourselves sick competing against strangers? I believe it’s just another sophisticated, seditious form of self-sabotage. If we don’t measure up, why even try? The fault line of comparison runs so deep in the lives of many of us it’s heartbreaking. I know women who quake at the thought of school bake sales because their brownies don’t sell as fast as those of another mother, and the psychic phobia over Halloween costumes is the last frontier in feminine psychology.
Five years ago when I published my first book, which updated Victorian family traditions, there were few popular books on the Victorian era available. But the late nineteenth century was just about to be rediscovered, and within two years there were so many books in the stores the market was completely saturated. Today it would be extremely difficult to find a commercial publisher for a Victorian book even if you channeled Queen Victoria as a spirit guide. This doesn’t mean if you are writing one that you should stop. The cycle of creation is cyclical. There’s a reason the past is prologue.
Sometimes you’re ahead of your time. Mozart was known to qualify his genius by declaring he was composing for future generations. There are literally millions of aspiring and working artists writing books, publishing poems, selling scripts, directing movies, auditioning for roles, designing clothes, entering juried craft exhibitions, starting home-based businesses, looking for an agent, praying for a lucky break. Don’t panic. It is impossible for you to be an original. But you can be authentic.
“God has lots of movie ideas, novel ideas, poems, songs, paintings, acting jobs,” Julia Cameron reassures us. “By listening to the creator within, we are led to our right path.” You aren’t the only one starting a mail-order catalog this year, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t know exactly what niche yours will fill perfectly. Why do you think you were offered the spiritual and creative opportunity?
Once you accept an artistic assignment from the Great Creator, it’s yours. Nobody can take it away from you, unless, of course, you relinquish it. Nobody can duplicate your work because there’s no one in the world like you. They can imitate, but they can’t duplicate. Your work is born of your sensibilities, temperament, experience, emotion, passion, perseverance, attention to detail, idiosyncrasies, and eccentricities.
When you’re authentic, so is your art.
Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. There is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, to discover what is already there. ~Henry Miller
Even Kings and emperors with heaps of wealth and vast dominion cannot compare with an ant filled with the love of God. ~Guru Nanak
When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. ~Lao Tzu
I had no idea (at least not mindfully) when I took the only appointment open for a hair transformation this week that it would be in the energy of the approaching Full Moon today, nor did I think about the choice of clothes I wore that day other than wanting my bunny loves with me. I simply felt that this change was essential, as I’d become bored and no longer aligned with the rapid shifts taking place, not to mention was feeling out of sorts with my inside-out essence expression. This Full Moon is in the fire sign of Sagittarius, which happens to rule the Moon in my astrological chart in the house of Pisces (my Sun sign). So there is/was certain to be an intense, very transformative and expansive energy pervading, which the Full Moon would then bring to clarity in order to know which changes and adjustments would best support us in peaceful flow.
2017 is a year of new beginnings for us all collectively and this shift will entail aligning more than ever with our highest path at this time. This may involve moving through some heavy stuff and “karmic” growth, but will provide deep healing as long as you can continue to see the “silver lining,” keep an open mind, invite new perspectives, and find the joy from the innocence of your inner child’s heart. Truth and freedom play big right now and finding ways to nurture yourself while also committing to more personal responsibility is key. This is a time for really tuning into a mission, dream goal, or heart-focused purpose that truly calls to you while tempering a narrow, but flowing focus to manifest it, so as not to dilute your energy.
With things transforming for me right now, the energy activated in Australia, and new doors about to open, I outgrew any of the changes I had already made, which then had me feeling like I was wearing clothes that didn’t fit, in a metaphorical, but also literal way.
So I have been clearing out and donating clothes, got a few new things, and really, really needed to change my hair even though I just did a little over 4 months ago. I get antsy about stuff if even a little bit feels energetically off and not lining up.
This led me to be even more vulnerable outwardly, which I’m finding no end to, and revealing more of myself without care of what that may seem to others (I have had many looks since the change, when out and about). And so I decided to intensify what has already been happening with my hair much more dramatically and much more “me” feeling with an enhancement to my silver.
I had tons of silver growing naturally, especially in two stripes near the front that were growing long, areas underneath, and then scattered and glistening throughout. I decided why not just go full on, or “Full Moon,” which got written to a friend by auto correct and felt right on, I guess, since I later received multiple reflections of “Moon essence,” “Moon child,” “Moon shine,” “Moon beam”….
And that then aligned with the Full Moon hot air balloon tank I was wearing with three white Cosmic rabbits flying in it across the Cosmos – representing my dear Nestor, Joy, and Cosmo who have moved on to the Otherworld.
My sweet friend Dawn mentioned something else I hadn’t thought of, that I was aligning with the new bunny (coming in 11 days) love’s Cosmic whiteness, as the magickal White Rabbit embodied. I loved that!
Not to mention prepares for a 10 day energetic cleanse I’m physically doing on Solstice, bunny love’s arrival, and what that portal offers.
Anyway, there’s something more than I can express happening (and it’s collective although I’m experiencing my own version of it) and it seems to be reflecting outside as well, as both yesterday and today have manifested magickal rainbow portals (3 of them!) over Lake Tahoe since I got my hair done Wednesday afternoon. And the weather shifted to this mystical energy from being at the beach just Tuesday (the day before) and sun bathing then and the days before in 70’s very warm weather, to now this mysterious, brisk, winds-of-change, stormy look and feel and dropping to the 50’s overnight.
Yesterday’s rainbow was a full one directly in front over the lake, which then intensified and started to split at center…..creating almost like two worlds converging. Perhaps another sign of this literally happening with multiple realities and worlds simultaneously existing, yet diverging.
And this morning’s first rainbow was a partial one, however, it lasted for an hour and a half, dissipating, intensifying, dissipating, intensifying….
After about a half an hour a full one appeared directly in front again (actually, while I was writing this) and just skimming where lake and bottom of mountains meet, but this one glided across the lake from left to right. Incredible!
I have been realizing the increased vulnerability I have been cracking open from depths within and how things are just melting away and also melding in that molten love. It’s amazing how deep things run, but not surprising giving the limitlessness of All That Is.
And to me, this silver feels to increase my feelings of fuller, expansive embodiment of me, as well as no longer blending into the world, but fully creating my own Cosmos on Earth – so to speak – increasing my joy and comfortability within my skin here, which has increased over time with changes I’ve been making and things brought to light.
We all have different ways in which we integrate transformation. I happen to choose and initiate as many as possible lol!
And interestingly, shifting my hair in this way is a process, which has small parts of my hair gold as well – all blending together – cool and warm colors, metallic energies of Sun and Moon. Feels like alchemy to me.
Many Native Americans believe that hair is spirit’s physical manifestation of growth that opens/enhances extrasensory perception and symbolizes connection to all things, as if like tentacles reaching out to the world around us. Cutting hair represents doors closing and heralds new life and doorways, honoring the past while making way for the future.
And that’s always how I approach life….seeing the “silver lining” and believing when no one else does. This is increasing, which is timely with what I’m working on manifesting short and long term for the journey ahead and my heart’s mission. Gonna take everything I have!
So while my threads of silver hair reflect much more than this, too hard to explain all of here, they also seem to bring this into literal light and hence, the “silver lining” mentioned above as an approach that may be helpful for us all, coming full circle.
How might you open more to the possibilities before you? You really do have opportunity to experience life differently, if you really commit to that, no matter what challenges are present. Each pain is a seed wanting to sprout freely without your restraining its growth.
I’m definitely missing Australia, but also really enjoying pre-summer weather and beauty blooming all around here at Lake Tahoe. Life goes on and and with so much culminating around Summer Solstice, I’m clearly getting the sense of rapid growth and prolific possibilities manifesting. The energy available feels really rich with potential for anyone ready to run with it….ready to keep hope alive.
In the short few days we’ve been back we’ve been putting a lot into motion and quickly picked up right where we left off, quickly settling and organizing back while also hiking, enjoying a sunset cruise on the lake with friends, sightings right off our deck of Bald Eagle and hot air balloon gliding over Tahoe (awesome symbolism and messages), me finding both a large goose and hawk feather, talking about future travels, tons of garden delights and blooms from visiting my parent’s house, lunch and hair refreshening for us both in Reno…full, reflective, and balancing experiences for sure.
I’m getting back to my writing today (which will conclude my first draft here shortly) and we’re preparing for both my friend Lynne to come through again for a couple of days on the 10th, as well as our heading out on the 13th for a week to Austin for business mixed with some fun.
The day after we return, on the Solstice, I’ll both be heading to Northern California to pick up my new bunny love, as well as starting a big 10-day cleanse.
So yeah, a lot going on and I’ve heard from others experiencing in a similar vein and a lot of amazing things, greater fulfillment, and new beginnings starting to take root for them, which makes me happy to hear.
People have been pulling out of old frameworks and patterns, embracing more of their truth, and realizing how self-sacrifice has not served them and others in their lives they thought they were helping.
Every “setback” can be viewed as the potential for something more to be brought to light, greater alignment in process, or the opportunity to turn something from one thing to another and shift your vibration to match it.
While there may be a lot of drama and disturbing experiences floating about as well, I think that mentioning the lovely things is important to demonstrate what is available to experience and that we can choose where and how we place our attention and focus, not to mention how we integrate those contrasting things to our benefit or detriment.
Much is shifting in the world on a daily and moment-to-moment basis and if you choose to only focus and dwell on one perspective, not only will you be sucked into a cesspool of quicksand that keeps dragging you down, but you’ll also miss out on the rest, which includes how those things you may not like so much are, and have, actually been fueling all of the positive changes.
Let’s remind each other of our wholeness, by embodying it more and more and embracing all potentials of experience, not just the challenging, discouraging, and depressing ones.
People often wonder how I can always see the silver lining in things, but it’s because I know from experience that things always turn around, as is the nature of cycles, and that even in my darkest hours, allowing energy to flow through me without judgment and inviting perspective brought release and hope to light.
May you each experience the hope and potential seeded within all experiences to create from.
I’ve been sharing my gift of sound channeling in a more public way since we’ve been journeying in the Magick Bus and experiencing the ancient energies of the land.
However, this is not a new expression for me, as I’ve been doing it all my life AND LIVES, as well as on sacred journeys and retreats and even focused an intro class on the subject on one of them.
Recently, I knew it was time to reveal it, as it is the essence of who I am and the way to step into embodying that more.
So with vulnerability I have been sharing my voice through several videos and at the start of the year had furthered my studies with intuitive sound, which just reiterated, intensified, and empowered this expression and foundations even more.
If you’d like to learn a little bit more about “sound” here is a blog post I wrote a year ago on the subject:
And if you’ve like to explore the recent videos, to just get a taste of this, here are a few videos you can listen to (each has a paragraph description of how they came about at their links under the video):
So this all leads me to the new offering I spoke about in my May Newsletter this month.
Down the road I may teach more in depth on this subject, but for now the most resonant thing for me feels to be able to offer this gift to others and is currently the only service I am offering (other than the spontaneous creative inspirations like the Magick Stones that pop up as guided) since it feels most aligned at this time.
I am offering personalized sound channelings for individuals.
These will include a video share with your sound healing message, which can be for a specific focus/intent in your life, or simply as a current signature resonance to support you into more fully embodying your essence and moving through challenges to get you to the next step along your journey.
It could also be for specific help with things like opening, clearing, and balancing a particular chakra, channeling the essence of elements in Nature or Cosmic frequencies, deep cellular shifts with traumas, supporting a new path you are trying to manifest, opening you to more creative inspiration, clarity, or courageous commitment and strength, receiving nurturing and love needed from the reflection of your inner child, working through releasing, tapping into your ancient soul, etc.
You simply bring to me your desires and we’ll tap into the essence reflection of that via sound.
I tune in to the essence of your energy and allow sound to move through me that is at the frequency needed to help support the shifts.
This will shift, as you shift, and no two sound channelings will be alike, although may have similarities due to frequency resonance…as sound is ever-evolving from creative impetus and power of the now reflective moment.
At times this can be musical, other times more like toning, or a combination. Sometimes it may sound like another language or chants. And it isn’t always what you think of as “beautiful”, although always comes from a benevolent and pure expression of All That Is moving through me to you…to help awaken and activate the latent pieces of your soul and DNA.
What you receive from me is a personal sound video, which you will be able to listen to over and over, as needed. This could be one song…or may need a layering of more than one. I will ascertain that when tuning in. I may have crystals or other shamanic accompaniments, which will be explained in either the video or an email you’ll receive from me with your video that may feel to be part of creating the field of energy to support the channeling. And as always, Reiki energy and a lot of love will be woven and infused into the sound offering.
In the future, I may make available MP3’s and/or CD/DVD’s of sound channeling for specific energy frequencies and meditational or facilitation purposes.
To receive your own personalized sound channeling and signature songs to help you to integrate healing on deeper levels, strengthen your self-empowerment, support movement of energy to the next step or leap, and open portals of experience that activate and balance your chakras into more alignment with your essence as an expression of All That Is, you may partner in this offering here:
Once I have received your sound channeling request, I will email you to discuss the intent for your personal sound channeling. So please make sure to include the email address you’d like to be contacted by, in your order or in the comment section of the invoice.
You may also gift these to a loved one, in which case, please provide me any needed information on that request in the comment section of the invoice as well.
I have also created a separate page link on my blog that you can visit with this same information, at any future time you may desire support with something else, as listed above and not limited to what you see here.
Here is the link to that page:
“The sound that came from you, while you were in the sarcophagus of the King’s Chamber, is something I will never forget. I’m getting vibed right now. What came out of you was magical, mystical, angelic……. Words fail to pain the experience. I’m truly honored for the experience.” ~Michael, Arizona
“When you were Singing, it was one of the most Wonderous and Powerful things I witnessed the whole trip on our sacred journey in Peru–WOW! The energy you were bringing through was so Pure and Beautiful. You were definitely the pinnacle of the Triangle that day! I am Honored to have been able to support you in that moment. I am still filled with Gratitude and Awe for everything that happened!” ~Christopher, Montana
I would like to extend my gratitude to Barbara Franken for the invitation to be part of the February Challenge…Inspiring Others By Our Own Awakening Experience
Barbara asked each of us who is participating to share our awakening experiences.
Since I was not in on the first part of the challenge, I will share a brief story of my journey to greater freedom and self-realization, along with where I find myself now as a result, which is what this collaborative effort by all who participate in, involves.
Barbara will be sharing each of the 33 posts together in a free E-Book to inspire others to resonate with the natural awakening of all humankind that is happening now.
My Awakening Experience:
First off I would like to share that I believe we are constantly in spiraling cycle of “awakening”, or as I like to refer to it as, “remembering”.
I believe that this is a process that involves one to be triggered or self-prompted by their own journeys of alignment, openness, readiness, and soul missions chosen.
For me, this process seemed one that I set up without capability of escaping, unless I totally gave up, but that simply wasn’t written in the signature of my soul.
My life has been a series of experiences I either embraced and learned from or would find myself creating situations that provided no other out, but to do so in.
I can’t say that one specific time period or experience would be what I’d consider my “awakening” or ultimate “remembering”, but rather there have been several experiences that collectively have been the stepping stones to this process, which continues unfolding in ever-deepening and expanding ways.
However I do remember that as a very young child I did come in with that natural remembrance.
And like many of you, through a series of experiences, events, conditioning, and contracts to fulfill, that remembering became a confusion of inner voices that reeked havoc on my nervous system trying to make sense of it all and operate as the sensitive empath that I am.
And this then became an experience of forgetting, while trying to reclaim those authentic parts once again.
I was easily impressionable and without boundaries, as a Pisces. And so what I naturally was became the hidden part, as I tried to function and perform as others would rather prefer seeing.
And yet, those parts of my nature were impossible to fully shove away, and so these made me stand out and kept me still just out of reach of fully going unconscious, while I was just trying to get through the parts of life I HAD to like school, performing in the way that was almost like a game to me.
School was too easy. I knew how to breeze through it because of my intuition, photographic short-term memory, and ability to use both sides of my brain equally.
However, it was all I could do to get the heck out of there quickly, as inside I was dying from this boxed-in experience that didn’t support the parts of me that knew.
But as I said, it was all inevitable that I would get to this point now, it was just a matter of which way I wanted to do that… Isn’t that the choice for us all?
And while I became adept at being an observer of my life and having three voices…one on each side of a choice, and the third that oversaw it all from the bigger picture…this only made it more challenging to be with others who didn’t understand my way of thinking in so many perspectives.
And so I mostly remained silent.
As mentioned, I can’t pinpoint just one moment that was hugely opening, but there are several that stand out.
From the onset I was having incredible experiences and throughout my childhood and teens, many many spiritual experiences that were not normal to anyone I knew at the time.
This included out-of-body experiences, seeing presences in my room, prophetic and deeply symbolic and disturbing dreams for one so young who didn’t understand, telepathic incidences, knowing things without understanding why, feeling everything around me, communicating with animals, healing with my hands, voice, and dance, painting and drawing with ease at a level beyond my peers, and having a connection and longing to the stars, wishing to go back home.
It was my mother who was the trigger for both my brother and me, who started to read metaphysical and spiritual books, passing them on to us once she read them. This took place around freshmen year in high school (around 15) and once I got a hold of this material it was like something took off with a flash-forward leap.
Finally something that made sense in a world that did not.
And from there my brother and I took over and were on a fast track, reading tons of material we could get our hands on and delving into conscious conversations between us, which then extended to us teaching our parents what we learned, as we were determined to work out family dynamics along with our own.
While this made me connect to these parts of myself, it was also what made me feel even more different and not wanting to be around others, or feeling really conflicted when I was. But because I was a Pisces and easily could morph into environments and any group of people, no one was the wiser.
The inner conflict and turmoil however just continued growing, as I delved into what I knew was me, and yet was still operating in a world that I didn’t fit into unless I continued in the conditioned vein others wanted me to be in. It created a lot of emotional challenges and I would find myself crying all the time in the solitude of my dark bedroom or in the safety of the shower throughout my time in school and even beyond.
The shower became my sanctuary and place I’d go to cleanse and release, as well as work through things. It also became the place I released sadness as to what I saw around me until I later learned it all had its place and purpose that wasn’t for me to judge.
The next times I remember having big leaps were when I quit my first job, out of college, after basically burning myself out from being an over-achiever and having performance perfectionism, which led to having a physical stress breakdown and needing to do something fast.
My brother helped prompt me at this time that I needed to focus on me and nurture myself…I’d become way too fragmented inside and drained. And with having saved every penny I earned, I did just that, devoting myself completely to personal growth, delved into my writing, and started physically taking care of myself.
Things turned around, but there would continue to be layers.
A couple of years later I moved with my parents to Sedona and left everything and everyone behind. I basically lived as a hermit for two years and once again devoted myself, in the transformational energy Sedona offers, to personal growth.
I basically tore myself apart in every way, even more deeply, with self-help books, astrology, numerology, working through, releasing, and repatterning what I was capable of, came clean with all things I never told my parents about myself, daily work through revisiting everything in my past until that moment where I forgave myself and others and understood the perfection of it all, and all things in my family’s history as well, and then speaking to the first channeler ever who provided a most thorough reading on every level that supported the things I came to learn about myself during this process and more.
I was my own therapist, counselor, life coach….and it took everything within me at the time to dig deep and let the flood of healing emotions flow.
This was another milestone for me in my journey around my mid-twenties.
And from there my life just continued in devotion to this unveiling and remembering. I would never stop uncovering layers and trying to work through and gain clarity on why I was the way I was and felt the things I did.
The rest of my experiences became ones I learned through the relationships in my life…and there were many, including marriages, and by exploring a whole gamut of different jobs to explore what felt most aligned with myself and utilized my gifts.
I saw everything as a reflection and knew that you don’t escape and run away from things, but rather I was determined to be as conscious as possible, smack in the middle of it all, and play out any dynamic that was necessary, despite how that looked to outsiders.
This also became a decision of one to do without escaping through drugs and alcohol, which could easily have been a route for me as a Pisces. I never touched a cigarette or any form of mind altering drug, and still haven’t to this day, as I choose to do the work myself of opening to these experiences via my own efforts and innate powers, I believe we all have.
I did drink when I was younger, but only now and then when out to dinner or a party, but never out of control and I actually didn’t ever like it. It was one of those things that wasn’t me, but I was finding myself doing because those parts weren’t as strong yet as the conditioned ones.
I don’t drink at all anymore, and haven’t for 10 years, and never will touch any again. It doesn’t resonate with my vibration and the journey I’m on personally.
I like feeling everything…the not so fun and the fun things, as that’s my way to clarity.
My struggles weren’t seen by anyone but my family, as I was still adept at living different lives when needed, but luckily this lessened more and more over time, as I started aligning both the outside and the inside.
The next large shift occurred in my last marriage, which not only drew me to where I needed to be in terms of location, people that would be instrumental, and the most transformational experience yet, but it also was the time period that I finally and fully connected to my path, moved through past life things and karma, and made the last commitment I needed to being who I came to be, which I haven’t wavered from, hidden from, or ever had to live a dual life from again.
During this marriage I also became a Reiki Master Teacher, meeting my Teacher and life coach at the time who became my best friend that finally was like finding resonance in the world beside my rabbit, Nestor who understood me, traveled to sacred sites across the globe, began my deepest work with painting, drew in other resonating souls, and said goodbye to my rabbit and twin soul, Nestor when she left her body.
The latter being a catapulting experience in early 2008 that changed me forever, through the deepening, releasing, opening, expansion, and clarity on what I couldn’t see while she kept me comforted. A commitment like no other came through losing my twin soul, Nestor – it was based on love and a responsibility to that love for her, for myself, and for what our shared soul roles were, which she reminded me of within my heart.
All of my sacred travels were also deeply enriching, but the one I would say that had the most profound effect on my life that opened all that I’m focusing on now, was in Egypt. It is there that I retrieved my voice, my power, and my essence. It was so profound that I returned there again, just four months later.
And since this time period there has been no turning back and constant leaps in my process.
That’s not to say the road still hasn’t been challenging and filled with new adventures to test my abilities learned, and to motivate my courage a bit further.
But once I left the last marriage, lost Nestor, did all of the new levels of work to penetrate and retrieve the parts I hadn’t yet been able to on my own, and became a teacher, as well as embraced my gifts as my strengths and without doubt these were meant to be my life’s work, it’s been a game-changer.
Each part of my life has been taken to new levels through the choices and things I’ve embraced. It’s what brought me to my current relationship, although went through it’s own challenges, is in a beautiful place, enriching, and expanding place because of integrating and applying all that I learned.
Everything has been like this now, since. I’ve been able to apply things I’ve learned in ways that aren’t just about talking about and knowing concepts, but truly integrating and embodying them. This is why things have manifested and unfolded as they have because I learned my processes and understand how to work through the energies that come up.
It becomes a seamless process now after practicing it over and over.
And this is what I believe is available to us all…it’s not that you arrive at some destination without challenge. It’s that you take the things you’ve learned and start applying and working them like alchemy in your life. You come to understand your personal processes, how you self-sabotage and hide from yourself, and how to support yourself and create the way to move through them.
You become the magician and master alchemist, able to work with all of the elements to create a desired result or reality of your choosing.
Where I am Now:
And so this finds me now the freest, happiest, most clear, and empowered I’ve ever been – all of which is increasingly expanding each day. It also finds me retrieving my inner child wonder and innocence in the deepest embodiment yet, while I’ve been integrating my Earthly and Cosmic essence in a way that creates an experience of more wholeness.
My life seemed a bit backwards in comparison to others, as I was on this mission to work through my “stuff”. This made me seem older and more mature than others when I was younger and ironically I’m now a playful child once again, because of the reclaiming and remembering that has taken place, bringing me back in touch with the heart of who I am.
I am still with the same partner after these nearly eight years, have a beautiful little family of animal companions including two new bunnies that are connected with Nestor and are powerful healers, teachers, and souls too, and two cats that my partner, Dave brought to the relationship, am living in an RV as I dreamed of manifesting, we’re just starting our grand adventure across everywhere our hearts call to, I’ve achieved and shared a successful spiritual and healing arts practice, have a strong connection and good relationship with my intuition, telepathy, and clarity of heart and mind in alignment, and am currently following my heart’s greatest joy and dreams after manifesting the ability to focus solely on the creative energy wanting to channel through me.
So I am now full-time engaged in all the things I once had done when younger, or had retrieved during my life-changing explorations, but with all of me now. My focus is on creatively expressing and channeling the song of my heart through the things I love most and that speak to the essence of who I am and came to express.
I’m grateful for the ride, although it at times was tougher than I thought I could handle, nor did I want to. I wanted out many times, as I hit my personal rock bottom, but it is within those dark depths that I found myself and the light of hope within my heart once again. I am grateful that I am always being supported and watched out for from beyond this realm, that I have a beautiful powerhouse of supportive companions that came to assist me, and grateful I chose to have the fortitude of endurance and commitment that I did otherwise I wouldn’t be here still.
But it’s true what they say about only being given what we’re capable of handling. Our strength and resilience is far greater than our minds would like to think they are. And although I’ve had times of not knowing for sure if I would be hanging around for very long, since I worked through the contracts and karma, and now understand how to work through anything, I have a lot of joyous things in my life that have me the most deeply embodied than I have ever been.
This seems very timely to be sharing, as my birthday is tomorrow – 2/26 – and today completes the end of a #9 year cycle for me. So, putting closure to all of this through sharing and writing it out is a beautiful way to move forward completely with all of me.
And although it is only a summary, as I couldn’t possibly fit into this post everything unless it were a book, it feels definingly final.
I have no need to revisit the past, as my focus is in the here and now.
I will be 43 tomorrow and starting a new #1 cycle, which is fitting with my also now shifting gears in my life with new heart and soul aligned focuses that reflect who I am right now. This is the journey I am now committed to – that of walking an authentic path that expresses the innocence of my essence and to do that with total freedom where my nature is the only voice I now listen to.
And since tomorrow is my birthday I will be offline immersing in a day of self-nurturing just that, but you’ll be able to continue to explore another soul’s journey with this challenge.
The next post in this blog challenge is by Mei of https://meiflynn.com/blog/
With great time spent in reflection, I have come to the decision of putting several services on hold, as right now I am feeling to focus my energy elsewhere that both allows my full creative expression wanting through right now and that challenges me.
I’m not one to stay complacent and want to always expand my horizons.
I also am committed to following the flow of energy moving through me and the things I will be focused on are necessities to my heart and soul thriving right now…and in return, this makes me able to give that much more.
This means I am going to be full time immersed in my creative projects and only very minimally part time focused and available on a couple of services at this time.
So, for those of you who don’t receive my newsletter, I just want to let you know briefly about the things that have shifted, although I don’t know when they will be available again.
I am not accepting any more new clients for sacred tattoo designs at this time.
I am also not available to teach any of the workshops I was offering, unless it’s part of a Private Immersive Retreat experience or you are a past student wanting to complete your Reiki training.
I am taking a break from offering distant Reiki sessions, which means no in-person or distant work available. Again this will only be available if you join on a Private Retreat and if you are a coaching client.
I am now focusing, funneling, and fine-tuning my energy and time elsewhere, as well as to the people I do work with in terms of Intuitive Energy Guidance Coaching and any Private Immersive Retreat clients.
I’m feeling to focus only very intimately and in depth with those called to work with me, who seek me out at this time, and who are truly courageously committed to their path and making changes. I am there to assist those leaps, which involve a much more immersive experience.
This is where my role is taking me and there are others who can assist with different roles and support.
And so I am available to the path of personal responsibility you’d like to partner on where we equally show up.
I do have to limit the amount of clients with these however, in order to be able to provide quality support to each individual, along with also honoring and providing quality time to the things in my life.
That said, I am able to support a maximum of only 2 new 5-Week Intensive clients per month, 3 Individual Clarity & Guidance sessions a week, one 3-day retreat a month at most, and three 5-day retreats a year at most.
Again, this is the max I can support, although am at peace and happy with this or less, as I have gratefully manifested what I need to fully be engaged in my creative projects alone, if that ends up being the case.
A doorway of opportunity has been provided for me and I’d be a fool not to say yes right now.
Thank you so so much for your understanding and thank you to all of my amazing clients for such a beautiful journey we’ve shared.
If you have any questions please message me, as I’ll be happy to help with those.
This felt important to repost again, as I feel into the collective energy.
Perhaps it will speak to you in some way needed, or will be the little reminder or click that aligns with current experiences.
If you’re feeling frustration, triggers in your life are intensifying, or you’re ready to make bigger leaps, then doing the mirror work to reveal the reflections to integrate for self growth, could just be that piece missing.
Wishing you clarity and balance in your relationships with self, others, and your experiences at large.
Wow, the winds of change are blowing like crazy since last evening! Warm, wild winds welcomed us not long after we landed back in Malibu yesterday and continue rolling through this morning.
They are aligning with the transitions I’ve made, and supporting a clean slate, and swift tail wind of energy to move forward in. Thank you!
I announced some big changes for me in my February Newsletter on Saturday – you can sign up for these here with a message of your desire: Contact Tania Marie
Here is a video that I included, which summarizes the current theme I was inspired to share.