The moment you want to give up is when you need to dig as deep as you can to keep believing even more, as you’re so close to breaking through the veils and into the light of your heart.
It’s one of those time cycles where I feel a stronger pull to my cosmic origins, and needing to remind myself of balancing and grounding in order to fully be present in this current Earthly experience. And while feeling these pulls elsewhere, it’s no wonder I’ve also been sharing reverence for my beloved Russian Tortoise, Gaia, whom has been away on mission since the end of April.
She, along with my beautiful, physically departed Nestor, have been heavily on my mind. And I know that they are both cosmic pilgrims engaged in their soul essence journeys of the heart.
I know many of you have followed along with their stories, in particular Gaia’s of recent, and may remember she had for the first time hibernated for a short period this winter, returning auspiciously before the end of Winter, but right at the perfectly timed moment in my life. And then, not long after she had returned, she then disappeared again and has been gone since the end of April, now approaching 5 months and oddly during the dead of a very hot Summer here.
I haven’t recently had the sense she is returning, but if she in fact at some point still does, it will be her most surprising and magickal feat to date, which would bring a huge smile to my usually unsurprised self. In the meantime, I have been supporting her energetically in the work she had been called away to do, knowing she is always with me in heart.
But it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve felt the need to honor her more appropriately, especially if she has chosen to move beyond this Earthly realm like Nestor. That’s what it feels like in my heart, and perhaps her original idea of returning has shifted due to my own shifts.
Having gone through what will always be the most heart-wrenching experience of physically losing Nestor in the most dramatic/traumatic of ways at a very challenging soul leap time in my life that nearly took my own breath away, I have gone through the worst and so am able and prepared to handle physical loss, or anything for that matter, with an unconditionally, unattached love and deep honor. Perhaps Gaia chose this way, as mirror to the place I have arrived with this – with no need for closure to the eternal, nor need to physically see and experience that transition from life to afterlife. I am aware that transitions from one dimensional experience to another can be gently chosen, just as much as harshly chosen, depending on what we need to learn and what our attached beliefs are.
I’ve also found it interesting, since both Gaia and Nestor were always not really “all here” when they were, that as such expansively powerful, cosmic beings that they chose these tiny bodies to manifest as. And yet their power was evident, not only in the strength those little bodies physically exhibited, but in their presence and the magickal things they would do each day while with me.
I know part of the reason they came in those bodies, was so that we could be together as we were, and yet as much joy as they brought me in this life, it gives me greater joy to know that they are no longer confined by those bodies in any way and can be the freedom seekers of the Cosmos that they are. Afterall, they spent very little of their time in those bodies, even when they WERE with me, as they were constantly traveling and doing work inter-dimensionally. They remind me of myself and it’s no wonder we have been together across times.
Gaia was such a mentor for Joy and the two of them were best friends. Gaia also had the opportunity to connect with Chuck, while he was still alive, and was an avid companion of the ethereal Nestor (also a friend of Chuck’s).
I found it interesting that on my desk, where I have some of my crystals that support me daily, that the stone statues of Hematite (Nestor) and Rhodonite (Gaia) that I have carried with me on many of my global sacred journeys to have their energy symbolically and physically present where I was doing spiritual work, have always been next to each other on my desk. And the larger Serpentine stone statue of Joy, who is a bit more Earth-bound than they are, (although truly is the embodiment of a bridge between worlds, is a channeler and Crystal worker), is separate, yet connected by the large Cosmic Crystal between them.
And, both Nestor and Gaia are now physically gone, leaving Joy and I together here on this Earth plane.
Joy is my ever-faithful companion who alerts me to all energetic nuances and presides over our shared domain, as a guardian of the sacred. But over time, even Joy’s presence has shifted, as she used to physically take part in any workshops I taught from home, and now her presence although felt, is no longer there – choosing to remain in my office to support from afar.
Little by little with their support and teaching experiences through them, and as I have shifted into my own empowerment, accessing the connections and communications beyond space and time in a more tangible way, and have released attachments, they have all been able to move into different roles in my life and into their trueness.
The more these transcendent shifts anchor, the more I receive inklings of where my own soul direction is leading and the timeliness of that.
It’s all a beautiful journey and I’ve been reflecting on all of this, as thoughts and memories of Gaia have been flooding me recently. It’s brought some bitter sweet tears and yet joyous ones in celebration of her eternal expansiveness.
And I felt it time to make a memorial of sorts in her honor, regardless if she did in fact one day, out of the amazing blue, return. I want her to know how much I am eternally grateful for all that she is, and all that she has been and will continue to be in my life. Like all of these precious and astounding souls, she has taught me so much and she has saved my life more than once.
I have decided to keep her home outside where it has been, as a memorial for her, and also to mark the area I believe she entered Earth’s core through. As it is there I discovered her last time when she returned. If she does in fact miraculously return, then she will have her home to welcome her. Although I hope if she does, that I will still be here to welcome her. This is part of why I am not feeling her returning. I trust, as always, that she’s tuned into my messages, even though they have a bit of a time lapse where she is. We’ve never not been in sync, so there’s that. 🙂
Interestingly, not too long ago, this area where her house sits that has two Plumeria and one large succulent bush, had completely shifted. The large succulent bush had uprooted itself one night and as it did, had taken down the two Plumeria. I had always reflected on this as a sign of the work she was doing below ground, as well as a mirror of impending change that was to take place and the uprooting in my own life.
Since, the bushes have been replanted and supported, with hopes they would survive, and have. So much so, that the Plumeria are now in full bloom – I just was checking them out this morning when I took these photographs – and I love that they surround Gaia’s house with their fragant beauty.
The perfect reflection of the joy and grace she brought to my life, this time around, when I was most in need.
Plumeria symbolism includes natural beauty, charm, grace, new life, new beginnings, creation and recreation, the Sun, perfection of all things as is, dedication, devotion, love, immortality, healing powers, liveliness, life, and birth.
I believe these are perfect messages for where ever the new journey ahead may lead. And however that is to take form, I can only trust in the faith and belief that I will have the same kind of courage these amazing souls have graced my life with.
I also found three Star Jasmine this morning that had blossomed “out of season”. Jasmine flowers symbolize many things to many different cultures, including love, romance, sensuality, amiability, nobility, grace, and elegance, but more importantly, they hold strong spiritual significance, as a constant symbol of divinity and hope.
These three Jasmine felt like magickal reminders of these three dear and immeasurable souls in my life, as well as embody, to me, the powerful will of the courageous soul that doesn’t accept the boundaries others choose to believe in and is capable of blossoming in the darkness.
Celebration…that is the word of today and a valuable daily practice for our lives to be mindful and present with. Yes, every day we take another breath on our beautiful Earth is a day of celebration. Even when things feel challenging, discouraging, frustrating, tormenting, and futile, these are buried seeds awaiting discovery and cultivation into miracles.
I can’t help but live from the place of believing in all possibilities and knowing that all things are in Divine order regardless of how the trained mind would prefer to judge them otherwise. Yes, even when I’ve been in my darkest hours of experience, there is this connective knowingness and innate trust in a promise of a new beginning that never fails to wake me out of the spiraling slumber.
“You are full of unshaped dreams…You are laden with beginnings…There is hope in you… ~Lola Ridge
Yesterday ended the 21-Day Mantra Meditation Journey with Deva Premal and Miten with an added bonus 22nd day today to complete the journey on the note of “Celebration.” For those of you who joined the last 3 weeks of life celebration and honor of your wholeness and divinity, I hope you are feeling more empowered and realizing a little bit more each day how miraculous you are. I hope also that you will continue to incorporate your favorite mantras into your life, or create a mindfulness of sacred time and space daily in some small way.
“A mantra is something like a seed to be allowed to go deep into your being so that it can send its roots to the sources of your life and finally to the universal life. Then its branches, its foliage will go high into the sky, and when the right time comes, when the spring comes, it will be filled with thousands of flowers.” ~Osho
We can always easily find reasons to fuel whatever feelings we are being attached to in the moment – sadness, anger, resentment, etc. But we can also always choose to find reasons to foster gratitude for the gifts that we are blind to when we are allowing our thoughts to stand in the way of their light.
There is no right or wrong in what we choose, but if you are finding yourself not feeling the way you would like, ask yourself if you’re truly willing to do what it takes to transform it into something more pleasing to you. It could be as simple as gently accepting the hand of your Higher Self and allowing it to guide the way instead of being triggered or tugged at by the hurts of your ego.
Every day I have a choice in how I would like to approach my experiences. And today is another day to water my inner garden…and then I can truly grow.
Right now so much is in bloom or in process of blooming in the yard (and in my life), including the Kumquat tree and Star Jasmine. I posted about the beautiful Star Jasmine that have begun to bloom in the yard just a few days ago, and since that post they have blossomed exponentially. It’s amazing what can evolve in just a few days – and sometimes over night. The same goes for us.
When we provide ourselves with all the supportive ingredients that feed the heart and soul, when we are mindful and present with our choices and openness, when we commit ourselves to cultivate an integrative experience of unconditional love, we nurture blossoming potentials that turn dreams into realities.
“Find ecstasy within yourself. It is not out there. It is in your innermost flowering. The one you are looking for is you.” ~Osho
I was eating a succulent peach just yesterday and as it squirted in juicy bursts in my mouth and on my face, I literally came to embody the symbolism of experiencing the “nectar of life” as I felt it wash through me and over me. It profoundly reminded me of how each moment of life can be a choice of surrendering to my aliveness.
Ever wonder what your life would be like if you started living the wonder?
I celebrate the “All That Is” that I am
One of the things I love about this cute house we live in is the harmonious, zen energy inside and out. It really lends to supporting a balanced and peaceful state of mind and a great platform from which to birth all the things that come through and for all the things that are to come.
And the yard has finally taken off as well, creating a beautiful nature sanctuary that not only attracts faeries like me, but brings many small birds, hummingbirds and insects that help cultivate a circle of life.
The sanctuary is watched over by my Buddha statue with his guardian hummingbird lanterns that glow by candlelight, and receives an infusion of energy from the seashells and stones from special and exotic places that are housed on the iron shelf on the patio.
Alongside the 6 fruit trees – peach, persimmon, kumquat, tangerine, apple, and lemon, (and oranges that grow over our wall from our neighbor too 🙂 ), my next favorite things are the beautiful Buganvilia and these four Star Jasmine that have quickly sprouted up the four-post trellis patio and are now blossoming abundantly for their first season.
Things are really taking shape and I’m enjoying watching the growth evolve in reflection to things on the inner plane of my experience.
The white Jasmine blossoming are simple star-shaped, five-petaled blossoms – ethereal and magical. White Jasmine is both known as poet’s Jasmine and the “Queen of flowers.” They have an intoxicating fragrance that draws in hummingbirds, butterflies, and humans alike.
Common white Jasmine most heavily bloom in summer and linger into early fall, but can start in spring and then go into slumber around October until March.
Different varieties of Jasmine have varying blooming times and characteristics, but these Star Jasmine of ours are a vining habit, have evergreen leaves, and produce a strong sweet scent. These will usually begin flowering in May, as they are now, and continue through June. A mature plant may have hundreds or even thousands of small, white flowers.
While the season of blossoms may be short, it will definitely be sweet. The arrival of their blossoms and sweetness is something that I’m cherishing at this time and heralds a sweetness of experiences birthing in my own life.
Interestingly, and synchronously, the original Jasmine flowers are thought to have originated in the foothills of the Himalayas – a sacred area I am currently researching for my personal retreat this year, having been guided to this destination for the next part of my soul journey.
Over the centuries, appreciation for these flowers and their fragrance has spread from India to the rest of the world where they are now cultivated in abundance for their beauty and symbolism. There are more than 200 different species around the world!
Not all got their start in the Himalayas, though most originated in tropical Asia and parts of China, as well as Persia, then were brought to Europe in the 17th century through Spanish endeavors.
Jasmine flowers symbolize many things to many different cultures. Some of these include love, romance, modesty, sensuality, amiability, nobility, grace, and elegance. However, the Jasmine also holds strong spiritual and religious significance, as it has been a constant symbol of divinity and hope.
There are many ways you can work with, imbue the energy of, or embody the essence of Jasmine symbolism. Here are some of the ways they have been, and are, used by cultures spanning time and the globe.
In India the Jasmine flowers are particularly spiritually significant and often used in religious ceremonies where blossoms are used in votive burnings as religious offerings. In Hindi they are symbols of divine hope and one of the double variety of Jasmine is said to be held sacred by Vishnu, the Supreme God in the Vaishnavite tradition of Hinduism.
In Thailand the Jasmine flower symbolizes motherhood and the selfless virtue of life-giving that a mother provides to her children. This makes Jasmine a popular gift on Mother’s Day, which is just three days away, falling on Sunday, May 12th.
In China the Jasmine flowers are a symbol of feminine sweetness, kindness, beauty, deep affection, and happiness. A traditional Asian belief is that Jasmine penetrates the soul and opens up emotions.
The Balinese people plant Jasmine in their public and private temples. The Siwaratrikalpa, an ancient Javanese text, states that Jasmine should be used as an offering to Ciwa, the native Javanese name for God. A common girl’s name, it comes from ancient Persian and means “gift from God.”
One variety of Jasmine, Sampaguita, comes from the Pilipino words “sumpa kita,” which in English translates as “I promise you.” This began a tradition, long ago, of exchanging sampaguita necklaces much like couples exchange wedding rings today.
In Victorian Britain, Jasmine symbolized cheerfulness, grace, elegance, amiability, and used it as a complement to shyness and modesty. It was highly valued because of the hardships of growing it in a cold climate and when used in a flower arrangement, provoked the joy found in sunshiny days.
In Ancient Egypt, Cleopatra was very fond of Jasmine and used its oil to seduce Anthony. It remains a favorite ingredient in perfumes all of the world and is produced as an essential oil by countries such as India, Egypt, China and Morocco.
I had opportunity twice while in Egypt to visit the essential oil producing facilities and to purchase the pure oils directly, a couple of which I still have and are as potent as the day I purchased them. I’ve never been one to like perfumes (which you can also purchase there), but the natural pure oils of particular scents are truly magical and I remember how enchanting the pure Jasmine oil was – like bathing in a sacred bath of Jasmine blossoms that caress you body and soul.
The divine scent of Jasmine from these starry blossoms evokes a sweet remembrance. They release their fragrance at night (the time when they are collected for their best oil-producing scent) after the summer sun has set and the moon is waxing towards its fullness, leaving you floating on wings of petals and dreams of hope and love, if you are so lucky to catch their breath in the wind.
Perhaps releasing their joyous fragrance in the twilight hours also lends to the enchanting faery evenings that are celebrated as we dream. 😉
Jasmine remind you that all is in Divine order with the Divinity of your existence.
Wishing you an enchanted day!