As artists we are challenged to find a way to get our work out to others while still enjoying the process and not compromising ourselves. While everyone has a different journey with this and relationship to their work, their self-value as an artist, and the timing of their releases, not all artists find it easy to make a living at what they do right off the bat and not all artists may hit it big in having their work discovered or desired by every gallery or person. So, artists are left with wanting to be able to do what they love, not compromise their integrity, remain authentic to the style they enjoy, but also still be able to enjoy that connection that happens when someone purchases and takes home a piece of their work.
In many cases, this is why some artists may opt for offering commissions and take on custom work, as it allows them to still be an artist, while helping to support their ability to keep creating.
Some artists simply prefer doing custom work because they truly love that one-on-one connection and intimate relationship they create with the person they’re creating for and it allows them to challenge themselves with continued new subjects and ways to create.
They love the interactive quality of the work and having something new to work on every day.
For some, it’s more consistent work than trying to sell original pieces.
Then there are artists who purely love creative freedom and not having to create something someone else tells them to, not have to be concerned if it’s exactly what that person wanted, and simply love to work from that impetus of creative energy that moves through them when inspired and not on a timeline or schedule.
And then there are the artists that like a balance of both and find they compliment the process of being able to do what they love and tempers the right balance of compromise and variety, while helping them live and work as the artist they see themselves to be.
Where do I fall into all of this?
Well, having done all three levels, I find myself back in the place of truly feeling the call of full creative freedom at the doorway of my heart.
That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed the process of commissions in the past, as I’ve met some dear souls through that work, was able to challenge myself in many ways, and did enjoy that intuitively intimate connection and relationship channel during the process of creating – this was both with paintings and sacred tattoo designs.
However, I much preferred total creative freedom and found that when, in some cases, I was being dictated by every little part of the process and was at the mercy of someone else’s feelings around something I may have spent hours working on, it really could be a very stressful process and put a damper on creativity.
I adored the times when I was handed creative license with commissions and found that those pieces came out the best.
Custom work can, in essence, have the potential to be an interruption to an artist’s flow of their own planned work, unless it truly is an artist’s joy and perhaps first love, to create commissioned pieces.
I can even remember when I created my first mural for an investment firm I worked for and several large commissioned paintings I was hired for in the beginning that I had to work at convincing the very left-brained people who hired me with proposals and long explanations of what I envisioned, supplies needed, logistics, and how long and how much it would cost, as well as having to provide a sample sketch even when I knew that the magick happened during the process of creating. I then felt like I had to stick to that plan and wouldn’t have any room for inspirational flow in the unfolding of its creation. It became too much of a business and my need to make someone understand a right brain process with left brained explanations.
The connection can potentially get lost in the translation of this.
Luckily, those paintings went really well, although were stressful and tied me up in things I ended up rather not be involved with, but the mural wasn’t as much embraced even though they agreed to my sketch.
While they liked it, they didn’t love it. I found out that it lasted only several months before they painted it over. Not a surprise, as my heart saw a potential for them that the financial people there just didn’t quite understand. They were stuck in the old ways and this new vision was a bit too uncomfortable.
I was grateful to all of them for my very first opportunities to get my business going, which ironically allowed me to quit that investment firm job in the first place, and was still proud of myself for being able to acquire some really huge projects without any resume behind me.
These experiences may not have been my perfect fit, but at the time were my perfect reflection for what I needed to learn and what I called up for growth.
Then there were the many wonderful fits where harmony and synergy were in flow.
I think this is key if you do choose the custom work.
It really depends on the individual and what feels right. It’s important to align yourself, as well as put out intentions of the type of clients you want to work with, be willing to say “no” when something doesn’t sit right, and not take something on just for the money if at all possible.
The theme of this post actually was inspired by my continuing to get requests for custom sacred tattoo design commissions and people finding me online and even sharing my work with others, which happened twice already today. Even though I’ve removed my website and these offerings, there’s no way to remove the world-wide web of your past work altogether and those phantom pages that float in the ethers, so I take it as opportunity to feel grounded in my choices and able to say, “no” with gratitude.
I think these are key things for any kind of work we do and not just as an artist.
There isn’t one right or wrong way with this, but there are things to weigh and options to look at to see what feels right and where you’re willing to compromise or not. Or in fact, what doesn’t feel to be a compromise, but maybe just a shift in perspective that can open you to more possibilities.
You may even move in and out of these choices over the course of your artistic journey.
My professional artist life began as all commissions, then turned into a mix of custom and originals, and now is solely original-based creations.
This has all moved me into the new creations I’ve been inspired to paint solely from my inner child’s joy, imagination, and love.
I had hoped today I’d be sharing the first of these little paintings with you, but Spirit has something else in mind, as this past week has been very full and so I won’t have the last two of this first group done until next week.
Astrid feels next Wednesday is the day to reveal them, so stay tuned for Whimsical Wednesdays on 12/12 – no surprise there that alignments have it falling on this day.
Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
If you’re an artist of any genre, where do you find the greatest joy?
Is it in creating custom pieces, your own originals, or a mix?
Is there something you could tweak that would make your current path more enjoyable?
How do you hope things to evolve and what steps do you plan to take to make that happen?
In love and creative magick, I wish you the most heartfelt journey with your art.
Ironically, because I’m in such a creative flow right now with my new paintings, I haven’t been able to channel an original post for today’s Whimsical Wednesday’s series. That said, the theme I did have in mind, when tuning in, is one I have written on before and I was able to find it to reblog for you today. It expounds on the value of creativity and how I feel it to be key to our current collective shifts and intentions we want to manifest.
For this reason, I am very supportive of artisans and small businesses, choosing to purchase all of my gifts and personal items from other creative entrepreneurs from around the world.
I’m hoping that by next Wednesday’s return to The Artist’s Corner, that I will have a snippet of the fun and whimsy I’ve been bringing to life on canvas here. So stay tuned!
For now, here is my take on the intrinsic value of creativity and nurturing the inner artist, which holds true today:
Creativity is love.
It is a magickal and powerful energy vital to exercise and cultivate as a channel of creation itself.
It’s an exciting time for alchemizing our very existence. We are infinitely creative beings here to evoke the remembrance of what lies in our hearts. This is an opportune and timely alignment of energies for really bringing forth the authenticity of your heart and expressing it in its most beautiful light, outward to all from within.
Our creative energy is an expression of the boundless love of All That Is and it is essential in creating new realities of experience. Cultivating the imagination, dreaming, hoping, allowing and supporting vulnerable and passionate expression, utilizing creative visualization… is all vital to manifestation.
The creative and healing arts are rapidly taking more of an essential role, as they once did, in leading the way to a new experience of life.
Once again the arts, integrated with the other essential aspects of wholeness, are and will be recognized as foundations that will create experience as a memory of harmony embodied and we’ll return to the conscious dance as partners with Earth, Nature, the Cosmos at large, and our very existence.
Cultivating the right brain back into balance with the left will help to anchor in new energies. This is why it is vital to support people in the arts and to cultivate those aspects within yourself that have called to you. Valuing the contributions that creativity shares, not only to the individual practicing their own expression of it, but to all who are touched by their creations and services, enriches communities collectively.
I am moved to share about the invaluable ways art enhances my own life and how it has the ability to do the same for others.
I find joy in walking the magickal path, and I channel and express everything in symbolic and creatively loving ways whether on my person, in my personal environment and sacred space, or through my work.
Painting has been my sacred key of life – my personal ankh that opens the door to life aligned with universal will. I didn’t set out to produce art, but like the wings of a butterfly are essential to its flight, I discovered that creating art is the breath of life to my soul.
From the onset, the unconscious, life-giving process of manifesting on canvas, the visions that pervaded my day-time dreams, struck me as magickal. And, over the years, that magickal essence persisted despite deterrence, yet the unfolding process is now accessed in quantum leaps of conscious experience.
It was a naturally progressive evolution that infiltrated my life with creative passion at every corner, reminding me that who I was, is who I AM. I paint from the inside out, employing naturally innovative and intuitionally guided techniques, as my unconscious is the undisputed light that guides me through the maze of tunnels to the divinely aligned, creative destination.
I was always an imaginative and creative child, whether singing, dancing, drawing, painting, make-believing, inner-eye journeying, dreaming…and any time I immersed myself in strictly left brain-focusees or jobs over time, it always resulted in imbalance, health breakdowns, unhappiness, diminished light, low energy, and basically like a piece of my soul dying.
I’ve learned the same can be true of only focusing on the right-brained things, which has resulted in fine-tuning a balance. We can’t forget all of our parts.
Whenever I let myself wander the creative paths, supported the integration of creativity into action, and watered the seeds of driven inspiration and passion, my life blossomed in all the ways the latter, on its own, wilted.
And yet, if I didn’t bring along the wisdom of the left brain and put things into action with courage and execution, my creative expressions would never see the light of day, could never be more than a side hobby, I wouldn’t be able to manifest intentions, and the value of what I did would go unseen or embraced.
But like many of us go through, as I grew up those creative parts of myself were not exactly nurtured and the natural me was reconditioned into an unnatural me, that I then had to relearn once again. Left brain took over and I had to relearn my creative nature. At a later point, that creative part out-weighed the other, and once again I needed to step back and retrieve the powerful parts of both to learn alchemy.
Everything evolves in perfection, and while it didn’t have to be that way, without this process, much of the depth, compassion, value, and ability to see with wider perspective would not have been cultivated as it was.
Creativity and painting, in essence, supports what feels most natural to me and supports every aspect of life. If you think about it, creative energy is life, and the life-giving force. So, it makes perfect sense.
I’ve experienced what it was like when I was disconnected from it and what it is like nurturing its expression.
I’ve also realized throughout my evolution and work, and observing the shift of energies, how vital to the collective our value, support, and cultivation of the creative arts is to where we are headed.
The male aspects of ourselves can help lift these parts up, fortify them, and create more effective use and action with their expression.
Creative and healing arts were once solid foundations that pervaded our experience throughout ancient times – times when we understood and realized the importance of being in balance and harmony with nature and the cosmos, which came through our cultivation of these aspects of consciousness.
As things have shifted, many of these aspects that enriched life were forgotten, lost, went more underground, were diffused and scattered, or replaced by new values. There are always cycles to life and the circle has been cycling back in a new way, as we are remembering, reevaluating, and understanding that balance is essential and cultivating natural creative expression is healthy to the state of collective humanity.
All forms of art have the ability to enhance life in amazing ways, not to mention, help us get more in touch with Source. It is an invaluable expression that through support and cultivation, can help us to connect more with our natural essence as creative, loving beings that are individually beautiful expressions of collective diversity.
We are all creative beings that channel creativity in beautifully unique ways. If you have felt nudges, inner callings, are receiving signs, have always wanted to explore your creative side or dabble in the arts, but haven’t fully supported it into the open, have felt insecure about your creative expression, judge it against other’s work, or wondered about what it would be like if you let yourself express yourself freely, now is a great time to harness that energy and let it flow without limiting beliefs.
The more you support these creative impulses, the more you allow yourself to explore things outside-the-box, to start creating and manifesting what you desire, to experience more magick and synchronicity in your life, discover ways to enhance your community and the collective, to create the greatest works of art you have yet to create, and to find greater sense of peace and inner joy.
Creative energy is the source of creation. If you don’t exercise it, you close the door on the endless possibilities you, as a limitless and powerful being, have the ability to tap into.
Creativity is the power of love expressing itself.
The more you support this expression in yourself and in others, the more beautiful life will be.
Here are just some of the values of expressing creativity:
- helps you be more aware of, and with greater sense of connection to, both the outer landscape of your surroundings and the inner landscape of your experience, visually, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually
- increases your sense of gratitude as simple things once taken for granted become beautiful
- opens you up to limitless possibilities and draws in new opportunities
- greater sense of self and security with who you are and choices you make that reflect you
- you learn to become more comfortable with your unique creative process and can apply it to anything you do
- you gain greater understanding of how others perceive visual information and how to communicate in different and broader ways that words may limit – enhancing your intuitive and telepathic abilities
- you feel more in tune with yourself, your inner voice and intuition
- you learn more about yourself and the collective, as your art and creative expression will mirror current themes and messages
- you feel more comfortable with yourself
- helps you realize there is something more to life out there, beyond the obvious, that you end up finding by journeying within
- creates more joy, inspiration, and lifts you up when you feel down, unmotivated, blocked
- gives you greater sense of peace and comfort in solitude
- increases your knowledge, helps you find more meaning, and expands your horizons, as you explore through art or research themes you are creating
- cultivates states of bliss and excitement when you align with the universal you
- builds your self confidence and courage
- develops your ability to share more of yourself with vulnerable curiosity
- teaches you about yourself
- develops patience and flow
- creates wholeness
- allows you to use your whole brain and by engaging both halves (left and right) this supports great things to happen
Here are just some of the values of art (both in supporting and cultivating as a collective community and in terms of what you receive from owning a piece of art or creating one for yourself):
- Art is a powerful form of expression for both the artist and those who own it, allowing the expression of individuality and can represent their beliefs, feelings, imaginations, convictions or philosophies in socially (and visually) acceptable and redeeming ways
- Art encourages people to be curious, ask questions, look within and introspect, think about ideas, experience fresh new perspectives and encourages being in the moment and stopping everything to reflect on more than just the mundane daily routines
- Art improves quality of life, enhances, revives, personalizes, and transforms any living, working, sacred, or place of gathering from lifeless to unique, beautiful, inspiring and engaging environments on an ongoing basis
- Art inspires and may spark thinking about or visualizing other ways life could be
- Art stimulates conversation and communication with the interchange of thoughts, feelings and ideas, even among total strangers who might never otherwise meet or engage
- Art speaks universally and needs no interpretation other than your personal experience of it when viewed
- Art encourages and cultivates children to dream, imagine, fantasize, be creative, express themselves, have fun with life and gives permission to do so, as well as to ask questions and expand their perceptions of reality
- Original works of art uplift, reflect, enhance and magnify the personality of the individual who owns it, as well as can stimulate and activate more of the desired elements and aspects that are desired or feel under-developed
- Art strengthens and enhances community livability, learning, creation, and engagement
- Supporting, creating and buying art improves the quality of life for everyone and serves much larger purposes than simply decorating a wall. Not only does it enhance things in personal ways, but creates wondrous transformations that revitalize, raise values and draw in new opportunities where ever artists share their artistry. This supplies the world with creative oases that stimulate culture in numerous ways around the world
We all have a creative side, even though many do not believe they are creative. It’s innately who you are as spirit manifest.
The more you embrace and allow the Divine Feminine energy (the right brain) to flow from within, in partnership with, and supported by and brought forth through action of expressing the Divine Male (the left brain), you can live in balanced harmony.
Do you take yourself too seriously? Have you forgotten how to have fun, let go, and be silly? Chances are if you feel stuck, uninspired, blocked, up against a wall, or like everything is just hard work and routine, you might have forgotten the spark of passion and joy you once had and the reason you started creating in the first place. Whether you’re a painter, writer, musician, sculptor, architect, chef, or even a stay-at-home mom or dad, entrepreneur, business exec, student, or in the service industry, you may experience those moments or long periods of drain and monotony because you somehow lost that spark.
How can you get it back?
By allowing yourself to be ridiculous sometimes.
Why is it that we’ve embraced the idea that masterpieces and success are born of suffering and torment alone?
It’s true that these emotional journeys take us to the darkest depths that create a rich overlay to our work by reaching into the shadows and bringing them to light.
But it’s overlooked how key having fun is to our process and that by inviting more uninhibited behaviors into our life, we will not only enjoy it more, but find our work igniting a new layer of imagination and possibility that will spark the same in others we touch through our work and interactions.
AND, we’ll look forward to it more each day, enjoy the journey, and find inspiration comes far easier to us.
Somewhere along the lines you were taught to believe that if you didn’t take everything seriously – including yourself – then you were wasting your time.
This begins to make everything, including the things you love, become a chore, you might have a hard time starting, and you find yourself pushing things off as much as you can.
What you love, you begin to avoid.
But what if you decided that you were going to be serious about having fun?
Meaning, fun was mandatory and needs to be woven into your day and process.
The less you worry and tighten your thoughts and feelings around how to create the perfect thing or be the perfect person at what you do, the more the perfect expression unfolds.
And we can invite this in more by engaging fun!
Whether you skip on your walk, sing in the shower, laugh at yourself, make up stories, entertain the ridiculous, allow yourself to be goofy, giggle at the little things, dance when the music moves you, throw some paint on a blank canvas you designate the “free zone,” play, take a day off, make up a story while you go through your process, and reconnect with why you started creating in the first place – what it means to you and how it makes you feel, you will find yourself opening up more to flow again, rediscovering your passion, and experiencing more sparkle in your life and work.
Going through the motions isn’t going to be sustainable and definitely is NOT why you were born here.
It may eventually, even, cut you off from doing the very thing you love because you lose the connection with your heart’s joy and trusting it.
Having fun is serious business.
It’s what creativity is all about and how you’ll discover infinite layers of imagination that will enrich all aspects of your life and work.
Balance is the key to life and while there is a time to be serious, there’s also a time for serious fun.
I’ve seen this shift my own experience with things. I mentioned this before, but I’ll expand a bit as it demonstrates the journey.
For example, my art has gone through a huge metamorphosis because of my “letting go.”
I used to create very VERY detailed, tight paintings and drawings that felt more like a soul pattern I was unconsciously falling under a spell with. They took me months sometimes to create and while it triggered remembrance of work I used to do in other lifetimes that felt good on one level, it also felt so grueling and was more like becoming numb to the idea of suffering through the process.
It took me a while to break the spell and wake up to the joy of painting again and having fun with it.
That I could actually paint what I wanted to and not what someone else told me to or that I thought I “should.”
That I could evoke feeling by pure expression, rather than meticulously thought-out and researched weaving of symbolism.
That I could simply paint what I saw in my heart and visions and not worry about being scrutinized for my technique.
In fact, I haven’t painted for several years, except for the Magick Stones I created on our Magick Bus RV adventure – yes Nature brought me back to the nature within.
And the creatures of the forest here keep reiterating this message to me daily, as I watch the squirrels and chipmunks – especially – outside my office door reflecting that perfect balance of work and play to create serious fun!
Little by little, my work evolved and will continue I’m sure.
And I find myself truly enjoying painting in all ways now, for the very first time.
Because I’ve allowed myself to have fun.
Pure, uninhibited fun with it.
And to paint what I love, alone, without any plan or mission.
I can’t tell you how quickly the ideas and implementation of bringing them about is going.
All because I remembered my “why” and surrendered to dancing in the fun of what it means to me to create – to be a child of the universe experiencing everything with wonder and sharing that wonder with you.
Reinvention is a way of life for me and, in general, I feel that as innately creative spirits there is a constant propulsion to continually evolve. Creative energy is just that, it’s energy that has a momentum of finding ever-new ways to express itself. And as we do so, this is the natural evolution of creative love unfolding.
If you are an artist – be it of painting, illustration, music, wood work, jewelry, writing, gardening, flower arranging, building, dreaming….this would be the artist’s journey. However, as I’m known to say, this is also a way of life….life as art.
There’s no end to creativity and even if you revisit some of your older ways of doing things, you revisit it with a new perspective and infuse a spark of growth and understanding to it that will take your work and expressions to another level.
Creativity is a process without an end result. Every moment is mad genius and something to savor.
And this constant reinvention is a necessary part of life and being. It is the alchemy of transformation. Nature reflects this so powerfully to us and shares how creativity is both necessary and beautiful in every phase of the process.
The boundless quality of creative energy mirrors the eternal spirit and so it is through creativity that we learn about the mysteries of the Cosmos and the journey becomes a wondrous adventure of both personal evolution and collective unfolding.
For me, painting is a way I enjoy this exploration of deeper inner journeying as a way to know both myself more and the world around me.
I never felt drawn to taking classes outside of the ones we either had to, or had as electives, through elementary, middle, and high school. For some reason I felt inclined to keep this part of my life raw in its nature and didn’t want to feel controlled by rights and wrongs. I wanted simply to bring forth my visions without boundaries. Having everything else in life feeling so controlled, this let me have one little sacred piece to myself where anything goes.
A way for me to creatively evolve as a natural process and feel where the energy was guiding me to travel as an artist and as a pilgrim of the Cosmos.
At times that may be to bring forth feelings and experiences I’m going through, convey messages of the heart, bring through visions from other worlds I dip into, capture a frequency that acts as a key for unlocking something within the viewer, or simply is a reflection of the beauty I both see around me and imagine.
My own artistic evolution has gone through more than one metamorphosis over the course of my life.
When I was a child I would simply draw the things I loved, which was mostly animals and nature and there wasn’t any technique about it except to bring forth that love. This was a reflection of me feeling free and most naturally myself.
Then I was all about the detail and it would take me hours to work on just a few inches of canvas at a time. Interestingly, this was during the deepest work I was doing, research, and dissection of myself, and trying to define or understand things.
I then found joy in a looser and more flowing way of painting and bringing forth energy like an aurora borealis exploding in blended harmony. This came as I let go more and more and was relaxing into being.
My art evolved into expressing a very ethereal and surreal quality.
And although the love of painting animals, nature, and Otherworldly mysticism still remain my favorite, I currently am drawn to fantasy and a whimsical, Faery tale way of telling a story or imparting an energetic imprint in your heart through my latest work.
There’s a return to my origins – that child within – taking place with the evolution of my painting and creative journey.
A spiral effect that infuses something new to something remembered.
My style of painting and even personal style of clothing, as well as my life and the work I feel drawn to, keeps evolving and I imagine will continue, as I change.
Creativity asks of us to leap into the unknown and explore and experiment with variety.
It’s like a musical composition you get to compose from the improvisation of your heart.
With every vulnerable stretch you discover a little more of the Great Mystery within and without.
And you’ll experience the vitality of its force that never stands still.
It’s through creative evolution that we forge new realities and create more of the experiences we dream of.
How has your creative journey evolved? Be it, through the expression of your artistry or your life as art?
Do you notice any tie-ins between things you’ve gone through with personal growth and how your artistic expression and life reflect this?
In staying with the theme that kicked off this week of influential and inspirational figures, today’s Artist’s Corner is dedicated to the mystical and incredibly fascinating Pamela “Pixie” Colman Smith. I shared this blog over three and a half years ago, but with new friends and followers, along with some profound insights this past weekend about her, I felt to resurrect this blog again. It seems no coincidence this week’s Whimsical Wednesday’s series aligns with the New Moon in Scorpio today, as we delve into the world of such a complex and deep soul who felt at home exploring the Otherworlds and Underworlds of creativity and magick. Pamela illuminates the seen and unseen from a unique perspective that indicates a blurring of veils and her ability to dip in and out of realities and dimensions that disintegrates the illusion of separation. It also seems synchronous that this share aligns with the day after elections, as her life’s work and passions are a way to honor women’s creative contributions that have gone unnoticed or devalued, and a reminder to step up things to shift into a new paradigm that no longer suppresses and hides the Sacred Feminine’s value.
A rebirthing opportunity is available to the collective and Pamela was one of the influential leaders helping to shift realities. It is quite common for visionaries to go unseen during their life’s work, but the wave of their efforts lives eternally as the seeds to new generations and the greater ease to which a domino effect gains its momentum.
Another woman of my heart who creates “life as art.”
I’ve never known anyone else who sees their art in music, which you’ll learn in the article. I also love how she stressed intuitive talents when teaching art, was passionate about immersing in story-telling and surrounding herself with other creatives, and created a “mad room out of a fairy tale” with her work space.
You can read the full blog here:
I’m going to be introducing a new, small series of blog posts that will become regular ones on either a weekly or monthly basis. I’ll announce that in the next couple of weeks. This is part of the new changes that are forthcoming and will continue to morph as I feel into everything. For now, I thought I would kick things off with opening the floor to questions from you – my friends, readers, supporters, and collective family. This may also help with creating the new series’ focuses.
I recently posted something similar as my Instagram Story’s status, realizing that while I have shared quite a bit over the years, there are still questions people have been curious about asking and message me about.
Many times we only see the person before us now, and don’t realize they’ve been through much the same that we or others have and so hearing about those pivotal shifts, choices, and processes can be supportive, reiterative, or even comforting.
Sometimes it’s just nice and fun to know those quirky things, that makes each of us human, and bridge the gap of distance in knowing each of us a little bit more since we may never meet in person, this go-around.
I’ve shared some of the twists and turns, wild rides, things and experiences people didn’t know about me, but there may be something in particular that has peeked your interest over time to ask.
While I don’t have the ability to answer all of the messages I receive in depth, I thought it might be fun to open things here to questions from you, where I can address a few of those things during my designated creative and writing time.
With that said, if there is a particular question or thing you’re curious about, I felt the nudge to open a blog post focused on answering some of those.
So, if you have something in mind that you’re curious to know more about, I’m going to open this to up to 11 questions – at least for now.
Each person can ask one question and my only request is that it isn’t in the form of wanting me to do a reading, coaching, psychic prediction of any sort, nor is a general how-to question.
This is specifically a get-to-know and/or understand me better forum, where you might be curious about how I came to something in my life through my own personal experience and that may reflect something for you since we are all connected.
A couple of examples that came through on Instagram included things like:
“How have you gotten over a broken heart or how have you been able to let go of a partner?”
“You live a very spiritual life – if that’s the right word to describe it as – how or what helped you to embrace this?”
Please submit questions via my contact page at this link:
Please do not write your questions as comments to this post.
I will only answer questions sent via the Contact format and only up to 11 at most.
If I see that the questions are more involved, I may break them up into more than one blog post when I answer them.
All questions will remain anonymous.
I look forward to hearing any curiosities from you.
Wishing you a positive start to your week and a gentle shift during this beautiful Autumn season of change.
Wow! Where do I start? It’s always hard to find the words that will encompass the totality of experience had, but since this is impossible I can only do my best to express what feels most important to impart from my heart. The last week, as you know, I’ve been immersed in the alchemy of weaving cycles into seamless progression while sweet Laura joined for a Faery visit and an important Equinox and Full Moon gathering. We had no idea what was in store, nor the totality of reasons for it all, but we followed the nudges and committed to seeing it all through.
I’ll do my best attempt at summarizing the key points and expressing the nearly impossible to put into words. I’m also only sharing a fraction of the photos taken during this week, although if you’re on Instagram you can see more of the nature and magick we were gifted via that channel.
For sake of energetic completion and being that this was also the first and last time for Laura and I to teach together, most of what is shared is the synergy between us through photos, as we journeyed the spirals of experience.
And what a powerful, but gentle and nurturing week it has been for us and everyone. This softness mirrors the extensive work we’ve both been doing to get to this point and unlike more dramatic or even intense times we’ve been known to share and heal through, this was instead very anchoring, supportive, and empowering of the choices we’ve made and the paths we’re being led forward on.
All of it beginning just before the Equinox, as we came together for the first time in two years. We noted that the gaps between in-person visits are shortening, whereas they used to be years upon years in the beginning. Now it’s turned into a yearly or bi-yearly event and feels to mirror the quick shifts and activations that these gatherings both reflect and create.
This led us to 9/22’s event that brought 11 of us together for a very special gathering, which I’ll share a bit more on since it is a marker point for many. Even the number felt, once again, to reflect divine alchemy at work, given its potency, our address being an 11, and our house blessing with the Gaden Shartse Monks also bringing together 11. I’d been led to prepare bottles for all of us, equaling sharing the holy water they left us for the participants to take away from our time together, as well as to receive extra activation they could then bring home to use. Each bottle was lovingly prepared and infused with quartz, amethyst, and golden selenite blossom crystals, fastened with a butterfly and three Steller’s Jay feathers from the Forest Portal.
I had a feeling 11 is what was meant to be, which was then reiterated by my only having 11 bottles. And this logistically worked itself out due to 1) our change of dates that made others who wanted to come unable to and 2) the shuffling around of energies that created last minute drop-out and synchronous incidences with others that put in place those that were meant to be here. Things always work themselves out for the highest good when we release attachment and expectations and although we would have loved having all who originally felt called here, we know that everything has its perfect reasons.
Astrid was a huge part of preparations, both energetically and with details, working her magick as she does. And although she chose not to make a physical appearance during the event, she was there right beforehand, running laps and jumping exuberantly, as she sprinkled her magick and moved the energy to get it ready for everyone. I later discovered that 9/22’s Equinox was also International Rabbit Day and so I know she was ultra busy not only anchoring and supporting energy from below us, but also sending out energy to the rabbit collective.
It was also a weekend pilgrimage that seemed key to the event, as everyone who gathered came from out of state or drove in from out of the area. So although Laura and I didn’t know the full why’s of this seed idea that manifested, there was no doubt it was meant to be, which was reiterated when we all came together and heard the reflections for why each soul was there that involved huge transitions on one level or another.
There would definitely be personal evolutions ignited, but also collective significance for this powerful group of Sacred Feminine energy to gather as we’ve done in another time and place before.
To add to the alchemy, we also had within our group, representatives of the Maiden, Mother, Crone energies with a mother, daughter, grandmother trio, as well as an unborn coming through one of our lovely members who was 34 weeks pregnant. Talk about potent – it’s things like this and so much more, that you just can’t make up.
Nor could I have asked for a more perfect closure to my last teaching experience (at least in this vein and platform), but also as the marker for the end of everything I’ve been doing up until now, which has been a full circle closure to all versions of me from other timelines/”past” lives. I’m very ready to move forward and retrieve future me’s, instead, to merge into now.
It was an incredible gift and honor to be with everyone who joined us for a day that blended a workshop experience with nature immersion time and concluded with quite the sacred ceremony for activating the new – a ceremony that was joined by many of the avian clan around who chimed in with their songs and calls, beginning with Ravens, and where the Wind blew through at very aligned moments, while the Sun cast its timely light.
The day before the event, my dear wild rabbit friend, Blueberry, had also made his first appearance in months making it clear he, too, was preparing the energy at the Forest Portal along with all of his friends. It was also the big reveal of my staff I made in time for the event, which was part of the ceremony in opening the new portal timelines for us each to walk through. Perhaps I’ll share a photo in a future post.
Topics included tapping into our multi-dimensional selves, working with our timeless selves and creating new realities, communicating with other worldly and cosmic beings, animals, and Faeries, sound healing, shapeshifting, ways to recognize and trust what’s within, tapping into greater empowerment and embodiment of essence, perspective shifts that help you to live a more magickal life, several powerful meditations and exercises, and more.
It was quite the day where time merged and felt both short and endless and brought together souls we’d either never met in person, this life, or souls we hadn’t seen in years.
Each and every soul that was with us is incredible and powerful beyond what they even know, but hopefully are now truly feeling the truth of and understanding even more.
The potent sharing concluded with a fun and yummy pizza night out with everyone except one person who needed to get back home, before the rest of the group headed out that evening and the next morning.
A few people remained for the next day, which enabled us to share a gorgeous hike that integrated more nature time for grounding.
The messages were clear and the energy seeded during our time together will continue to grow and blossom in the days to come. My gray mouse friend just came by the sliding glass door, as I wrote this.
The message of re-membering who we are, lingers.
And the rest of the time Laura and I were able to focus our energies on receiving the gifts of now, nurturing ourselves after all we’ve been through up to this point, reflecting on closure, and visioning the futures we’re now focusing on.
What we noticed was great peace, clarity, and anchoring of everything and we did that through moving the energy via hiking, talking, and touching in at various potent areas.
We also noted how some experiences and things that showed up were specific for one of us, where as other things were meant for both of us.
This reconnecting time also gave us the chance to have a Faery reunion in Reno with our dear friend Timothy Glenn, whom many of you know from Laura’s blog and his astro-insight updates. We picked right back up from our over 11+ years of last having seen each other all together and continued the Faery feasting we used to do after workshops and gatherings.
We then got to visit Storey County’s old Virginia City in the Virginia Mountains where we loaded aboard the train taking us forward and backward in time (literally) through tunnels along the old mining grounds of the 19th century mining boom, visited two sister crystal shops where we found special items to take home for the adventures ahead (I even found a 5 piece broken crystal geode in the dirt as we strolled), walked down memory lane through the historical little city, giggled to tears, and stopped at the 111 church that seemed to message completion for things Laura had felt drawn to go here for.
The rest of the week was full of morning and day hikes, relaxing, rest, talks of what’s to come – interesting that these are “now”and “future” oriented whereas before we would focus on “past” events we were healing and integrating, Tarot readings for each other, and of course LOTS of continued yummy Faery feasting.
We also shared a Full Moon activation we did for each other with Astrid assisting. We used new wands I got for us as gifts a few months back, but at the end of the activations, I went to put my wand back with the wand Laura had given me two years ago and the older one flew off my shelf, breaking the quartz at its tip perfectly in half. It was evident I’d made a clear cut and closure with the old and when we contemplated the wand’s break, Astrid chimed in. I held up the point that broke in one hand and the wand with half quartz in the other, several times to her and each time she was quite adamant about the broken one being the new way and that it should stay broken, as to welcome in new energies through that opening. She did this by wrapping her teeth and mouth around it and giving it a little nibble, but nudging away the broken piece. Such a wise one!
And speaking of wise ones, we had quite a few potent visitors and sightings that shared their medicine including a fox. Oddly, but not surprisingly, I saw its reflection across the street in my mirrored closet door while I sat in my chair – basically reflecting it backwards to me and I called Laura over so we could look at it outside. Interestingly, a few women from our Equinox group also chimed in with fox synchronicities, as well as Laura’s husband.
I found an owl feather hidden in the birch trees.
Laura will share more about the fox and owl synchronicity in her share.
We also stumbled upon many Faery portals and stone and tree guardians, not to mention, were gifted gorgeous weather, journeyed to six lakes, crossed several creeks, and wandered enchanted forests.
But to continue with the animal spirit guides and sightings, we found the remains of a bird in the forest with feathers spread about.
Butterflies and dragonflies were always flitting about, along with tons of the usual forest creatures here.
A caterpillar wiggled across our path.
Sleeping and flying geese greeted us at the lake.
Hawks were in ultra abundance and turkey vultures also ventured forward near the end.
Steller’s Jays were prolific, but especially notable was an extremely sweet elder female that made a point of getting our attention and hanging out. I was particularly moved by her.
And an incredibly rare, beautiful, luminescent baby Rubber Boa made its appearance on our last big day of hikes. We both felt this one was for me, especially given my snake/serpent connection, snake dreams I’ve had recently, and the shedding of skin and big transformation I am making currently and ended with our Equinox gathering.
We (Laura, Dave, and I) even “accidentally” all wore animal spirit guide shirts without knowing until we saw this photo.
We each had our own very powerful reflections and mergings, but I’ll let Laura speak to her own things in her share.
What I noted for myself, also, was that before the baby Boa sighting we’d taken a photo together in which the a-line style of my top made me look as though I was quite pregnant and ready to give birth, as you can see here.
That felt symbolic of the new journey I’m embarking on and what I am literally birthing forth in creation with my book and what’s to follow. Being a baby boa truly indicated this new birthing moving through me and I noted it was the size of the serpent I wear as a sacred tattoo wrapped around my right wrist and hand.
I can’t thank everyone enough who said “yes” to this weekend’s Equinox gathering and events and opened your hearts more courageously. You helped make this a rich and beautiful experience for us all and without a doubt, for me. You are all truly leaders in your own right and through your example, are lighting up the collective grid into new realities of unlimited potential. Keep anchored in the energy we created together and call it up when you need to. You all have a very special place in my heart. ❤
And to Laura, thank you for being a constant supportive light in my own life and for always saying “yes” to the changes knocking at your door. I’m beyond grateful to have you along for this wild ride and to share many an adventure with. I’m so excited to see how our lives shift after this potent time together, since each time seems to invoke leaps. And although we do things differently, the parallels are uncanny, and it’s all more fun with you there. I can’t wait to see all the new you’re channeling through. I love and appreciate you. ❤
I found the entire week reiterating, anchoring, and freeing. There was also a very gentle deepening and sweet essence to everything and the clicking in of something that can’t be put into words, but merges the Earth and Cosmos within that I’ve come to know as me. Perhaps others are feeling their own version of this too.
It will be fun to see what evolves for everyone who was part of our gathering and in general, to observe the micro and macro reflections overall.
Where do we go from here?
That’s a question I pose to each of you. And ultimately, it’s an answer you get to choose how to bring forth from your heart into embodiment.
Regardless of the unknowns, I know it will be amazing.
May all possibilities be open to you.
Where Do I Go From Here?
During our week together, a very special Faery named Orla and Merlin piece (falcon, activating more of my Horus connection and new energies needed for the journey now) for my Wonderland office also arrived home to me – something I gifted myself for this time period and as an accompaniment to a magickal piece with a White Hare, three Moon Sylphs, and five toadstools that arrived earlier from the same artist just in time for the Equinox. These will be companions for my continued writing adventures – in fact, the Hare and Sylphs sit to the left of me on my desk. I also love the acorn caps and twigs on the Orla and Merlin piece that come from a huge old oak tree in England. The artist is going to send me a few more of these and something special from magickal Dartmoor from her time there as well.
And on the day I took Laura to the airport to head back home, a butterfly ring I’d gifted myself for this transformational stage in my life was ready for pick up, as I had it resized. That also felt especially potent since the butterfly was the very first symbol that came to me at the onset of my spiritual journey so long ago, as the symbol of my path, and was the first tattoo I ever got. So to now have this new ring was yet again a full circle ignited.
I’m spending this weekend finalizing a bunch of little things here, so I’m fully ready to jump back into my writing full time come Monday, October 1st. I had a great 2+ month break of closures and stepping away from my book to refresh since receiving it back from my editor. I know I’m ready to get going, as the last couple of nights I’ve been dreaming about my editor and editing again. Astrid is quite anxious, but has patiently assisted this transition. We are both VERY ready to walk fully into the new.
And part of that new also entails some fun artwork upcoming that I will be doing alongside my writing to keep a healthy creative flow going. These will be available when I do and will keep you posted on that.
There will also likely be a crystal sale update coming soon – so keep an eye out, as these move quickly.
I begin my new fitness program Tuesday, October 2nd to balance the very focused time ahead.
Synchronously this all aligns with what seems to be an initiation into my upcoming personal #4 year (in numerology) that kicks off in February on my birthday, which is the year of setting foundations – a more serious year after a lighter one. It involves a lot of deep cleaning, building, working in more structures to my life and systematic ways for optimizing and creating more effectiveness in the years to come. Although I’m still finalizing this last year’s energies, which will still weave into things, it seems I’m already starting to fasten my seat belt for the challenge of this new ride.
I won’t be blogging on my birthday, which is this Monday 2/26, so I thought I’d share some thoughts in a post, today, on this nine year anniversary of Joy’s arrival into my life – one of the greatest birthday gifts to date! Although age is meaningless to the eternal spirit, it IS interesting to reflect on all of the judgments and ideas we have around age, which also deters people from humanly acknowledging it, as well as determines life protocol for many to try to reverse it or even speed it up. Although, I’ve never taken issue to stating my age, I have been guilty of all of these things in my past.
In fact, rather than be afraid of or feel protective of my age to the degree of feeling it is no one’s business, I was quite the opposite, where I was adamant to share my age because I could feel the judgments of others upon me and my insecurity around that to blast through their ideas about me. In part, this was my own projection, but being an intuitive, it was largely in response to knowing what people were thinking, and wanting to nip that in the bud immediately.
I recall having meaningful conversations with people in my past and knowing by my outside appearance and things they alluded to, like asking what school I was going to (when in fact I was way past high school and college age) and the way they looked at me in a protectively patronizing way, that they weren’t taking me seriously. Coming from a past of “feeling the need to prove myself” anyway, this of course was my perfect experience called up to move through that.
But, at the time, it just made me want to blurt out how old I was because I knew the connotations attached to age that obviously I was buying into, too, as a sensitive and boundary-less Pisces. So, rather than hide my age, I wore it on my sleeve. And perhaps that might run deeper than simply this, as I also knew the ancient aspects of spirit and to come back again on Earth, starting all over, might even feel demeaning.
Although I know it is a gift and meaningful choice, now, there would definitely have been unconscious anger or resentment over incarnating – an experience locked deep in our DNA, I feel, as a whole, for many reasons.
And so, there I was fighting back with announcing my age, to appease my feelings that not only in fact what I had to say was meaningful and important, but my incarnating here had purpose I was trying to remind myself with this declaration.
I’m not sure if I’m conveying this in the depth of potency it has, but in realizing and understanding this, it made a huge shift and got more parts of myself aligned and on board, rather than having an internal fight against myself, which only adds to the depletion of self love and creates more fragmenting and less empowerment.
The greatest battle and ongoing war, is truly the one within and I believe it stems from so much subconscious anger at our humanness.
And this made sense, as I always felt more inhuman and thus laid ahead a journey of merging and a return to natural harmony.
Then there was the young me wishing I was older and wanting to race through the years as fast as I could because I not only knew my younger years would be the hardest, but I also soulfully knew it wasn’t until later, in my mid-forties, that I would find my peace and really start “living.” A cruel form of intuitive vision when you know you STILL have to go through the years to get there. Yet, I wanted to escape, as much as I knew I couldn’t.
And still yet, there was the me who bought into these ideas of physically reversing age. Mind you, not in any fanatical way, but I was aware of ways in which one could “look” their best and all of those catch phrases even in the spiritual community that are about longevity, reversing the clock, ways one “should” look or how life should look if you are “ascending,” and what you “should” be able to do and accomplish if you are in fact turning back the sands of time.
I still marvel at this messaging and collective-buy-into, today, and although I understand aging is not a spiritual attribute, we are still on a three dimensional planet, we do still have individual journeys that are not measured by a certain amount of time we need to be here, and we are still judging what something looks like and associating it with living a life that’s “less than” if in fact it doesn’t fit into what collectively we see as “ideal” and “vibrant”. Just another form of self-abuse masked as spiritual enlightenment.
Are there things you can do to reverse physical appearance? Sure, but if in fact you are healthy, happy, and aligned in your expression of you, why then does that matter here on Earth?
If I want to have silver hair or wrinkles, why does that automatically mean I’m deficient? Or that there’s something wrong? I am still part human, and that part isn’t necessarily what I’ve chosen to walk in forever. Perhaps these indicate my true eternal quality? Why is there only one way to characterize this or see it?
There isn’t just one way, and I feel that the faster we open ourselves to multiple perspectives and possibilities, the faster we will free ourselves into a more grace-filled way of being and come into our multi-dimensionality.
Why do I bring this up?
Well, for one, I feel that vulnerability and transparency are powerful and key things to bring forth into our lives in greater frequency right now. Something I just shared yesterday on my Facebook feed with these reflections:
Everything points to going deeper into our hearts and connecting through them, with these as the guiding forces. The more we nurture these within, the more we encounter empowered embodiment, authentic experiences, connections, clarity, and alignment in our manifestations. And, the less we encounter triggers, hidden surprises, and forced change or reaction to what is revealed in the collective environment.
I feel that being vulnerable and transparent isn’t so much about allowing everything to bombard us as it pleases, but involves also a healthy balance of knowing and exercising our boundaries. This isn’t about hiding or repressing ourselves, however, but about knowing how to say “no” and not allowing certain frequencies to shift our own. Being openly expressive is not draining in this vein, but empowering and helps increase vitality. What is draining is when we fight our true expression or are having to deal with unwanted energies. Vulnerability and transparency is being willing to share the truth in our hearts and this helps others not to be afraid to do the same too. Fear around this is draining our energy, as we use so much of it to hide, worry, or create walls, which inhibit our gifts to shine through.
We can all shine, regardless of age, physical appearance, the list of accomplishments you have, or the things you own in your life.
The way I’ve discovered doing this is to live life out loud and to “create life as a work of art” – my motto.
I share the photo above, as it is the most recent photo of me (a week old) that reflects a much more peaceful, harmonious, grounded, embodied, softer, more secure, gently joyful, balanced, and creatively passionate me.
Vibrant bursts of color reflect my soul song frequency and inspire creativity to bubble through. Perhaps it’s the artist me or perhaps I’m simply inspired by Nature and how she exudes life force in every shade of beauty possible. Her blossoming myriad of expressions sing of love.
She is a woman of my heart and the only example I take to heart of how to live in the grace of being.
I love that now I have no emotional trigger or any tiny weirdness around my human expression and emanation of my spirit.
I will still always have resonance to otherworlds, but no longer need to prove that, nor anything else about my being here the way I choose to show up, as once my younger Earthly self felt she needed to do.
Merging embrace of my multi-dimensional self allows me the ability to enjoy each different aspect for what ever they are and however I am choosing to express them, without attachment.
They are ALL me and as the artist me, and using the power of creative love through me, I know their intrinsic beauty and value in the spiral of consciousness.
I now walk this reality as alive as ever, because it is my canvas to create in the reflection of my essence and my playground for exploration and total freedom of how I want to share that in any given moment.
Although chronological age is not important, the numerology factor is still interesting and revealing to explore.
45 is a combination of the energy of 4, 5 and their combined total of 9.
4 builds solidity and stability, foundations for self and others, draws forth passion and drive together for achieving success (whatever that means to you), and 5 adds personal freedom, adventure, creativity, courage to explore unknowns, letting imagination go free, versatility, major life shifts through lessons learned, while 9 brings things full circle, adds patience, intuition, soul mission, inner strength, sense of personal responsibility, humanitarianism, global focus, living and leading by example, and spiritual enlightenment.
These feel to be the energies I’m integrating at this time of my life and the foundations of where I am and where I’m headed.
I read that 45, numerologically, has a focus on putting your efforts and energy towards the things in your life that enhance and fully embody who you truly are – from the smallest of things to the largest of things – what we surround ourselves with, what we wear even, the things we focus on and are working on bringing into the world, and our lifestyle choices and overall life in general. It’s also about really putting things into full-embodied action so results manifest, keeping focused, and integrating a more pragmatic way to be a guiding force.
I’m also going to be igniting a 12/3 year come my birthday and this speaks to the creative rebirth taking place for me, an inner calling surfaced, release from all karmic ties, and everything coming together in my life story as I reach a significant stage on my journey.
So, while I may have been wanting to fast forward things in my younger years, I can understand why that visionary part of me was looking forward to now, as this truly is the most full-circle time of my time here on Earth – this life and aspect of my multi-dimensional self – and the most peace-filled.
There is peace no matter what today or tomorrow brings, as there is peace right here and now in my heart.
My new thing in recent years has been to gift myself birthday gifts to not only celebrate the new energy with supportive things that light up my heart, but to celebrate all that I’ve gone through to be here.
This year seemed to start a few months early, as truly wonderful birthday gifts were received from friends, loved ones, and family far before now, and some incredible surprises along the way that truly touched my heart.
So many of them were rabbit-focused and went along with the theme of my Wonderland office, with Alice in Wonderland fun.
My favorite gifts-to-self include the colorful, handmade shawl you see me wearing in the photo, two necklaces (including an incredibly magickal rabbit and a powerful “origins” and DNA activator), another gorgeous Faery book (I gifted myself one last year too), a custom made pen (for the writer me), a custom made wand (for the ancient me), and a “crown” chakra headpiece I’ve had intention of for years, but took until now to draw in the perfect one. Seems appropriate.
I don’t have any particular plans this year on my birthday, so we’ll see what intuitively and organically shows up, but we will be embarking on a super fun adventure March 7th – 17th, which feels to be my birthday journey of origins and more.
We’ll be heading to Arizona, first spending 3 days with Dave’s family in Tucson and then heading up to the Grand Canyon to meet up with our sweet friends you’ve heard me mention in past Summer posts – KC, aka Bean, and Clint, aka Happy. My Faery and Elf friends who returned my two giant quartz to their momma after my foot fracture and who took me on a Cirrus G6 private flight over Lake Tahoe.
From there, we head into the GC for an epic trekking and camping adventure, to introduce the energy and magick of this realm to us. Well, more me, because Dave has been inside of the GC before, but I haven’t. I’ve only explored the rim. Nor have I ever done this kind of trek, as I only camped a tiny bit when I was a little girl. Our adventures have been limited, but oh-so not limiting, to the Magick Bus RV living.
But come March, Bean and Happy (who will be working in the GC starting a week after our adventure, are GC experts, and love her inside and out) will be sharing her with us through their eyes, as we venture into her mysteries for several days. This will be an intro only, as we couldn’t do a super long trek this go-around, so more will definitely have to come once we sink our feet into the Earth here.
The reason I said this will be a journey of origins and more has to do with the ancient Earth here and the energy, which I know will be activating for me and synchronizes with my origins theme, because apparently there are hidden Egyptian temples that predate Egypt by 7000 years tucked safely away in the canyon walls for only certain eyes to see (this info coming to me all at once from several sources). Regardless of actually seeing them, the energy will be there and this connects more dots with why I felt so compelled to go on this trip, why it fell into place so seamlessly (including super challenging permits they were able to get for us for it), and ties into that Africa energy (which I’ve had more interesting dots light up with other connections too, since those posts).
A “Grand” birthday/new year/kick off indeed!
However, the greatest gift is this storybook year for me, and that my book’s completion and manifestation is close at hand and along with writing it, I’m writing a new reality into being from my heart.
I’m so grateful for every chapter of this story of life and that you have all been willing to colorfully show up and play in it with me, through the fun and challenge, and through the mystery and adventure of it all.