Fall is in the air and everything is falling all around, including my hair. Well, not quite like that, but I’m letting it go as easily as the trees let their leaves shift and drop. More on that shortly.
I read a short share from Avia Venefica exploring where the phrase “turning over a new leaf” came from. She writes:
“…many types of trees can detect changes in their environment. They sense a shift in weather before it happens. It’s as if they predict the weather. Trees adjust to these changes to prepare themselves for pending change. For example, deciduous trees like maples and poplars turn their leaves as a protective measure before a storm hits.
Rather than flippantly tossing about the catch-phrase of ‘turning over a new leaf’, maybe we can embrace the idea that a deeper presence within and around us is beckoning us to shift our position. Maybe a powerful, sentient energy sees a positive purpose for making a motion for our betterment – for our safety – for our future.”
She points to how the inherent awareness we have is easily distracted, whereas Nature continues to listen to the signals no matter what is going on in the outside world. There’s an innate wisdom that can guide us just like trees. Surrendering to that space of knowing how and when to change will lead us to our most optimal life experience.
Yesterday morning kicked off with an Autumn celebration of joy and change with a procession of over twenty quail, a chipmunk and a squirrl, with chattering birds to accompany, all parading in front of me with a grand show.
I shared a video of the fun on Instagram yesterday, which followed the quail from fence to fence of the perimeter of our yard, with a chipmunk and squirrel who kept zipping by to add giggles to the show. It all made me so happy!
The quail use our yard for grazing and as their path into the forest. This is the sweet family we’ve seen since the babies were tiny ones, now all grown. I was doing my usual morning feeding and cleaning routine with Astrid when I caught glimpse of the action. The quail were lined up along our fence and squirrel was enjoying his pine cone not far from them and then ran closer, as if to make sure he was in camera focus (as seen above and below).
I went outside to enjoy both their presence and purposeful journey, as they hopped down into the yard, grazed a bit and hopped back up to the forest-side fence to continue on. While watching them, a chipmunk got super excited and started to zip back and forth in front of me several times, which I caught on the video. And then squirrel (this is the same little guy who always comes to tease me when I’m in the garden) decided that looked like fun and wanted to steal the show. So he ran up closer and made sure to look straight into the camera and then over to the quail and back to me.
It was so cute watching all the activity and observing the quail, one-by-one hopping up to the fence, surveying the forest, and then jumping down onto the forest floor. One of them was so excited she overshot the fence and when leaping with flutter to the top, toppled right over instead.
This reminded me of a dream I had last night where I was flying. I have dreams of being in flight, although many of them are about the effort and concentration it takes to lift off the ground and keep rising, but I prove that flying is possible. This dream was very different. Like the little quail who overshot the fence with propulsion, I had almost too much propulsion and force behind my flight. So much so that I was able to bring two other people along with me, as we held hands in a line (reminding me of Peter Pan flying with Wendy and the kids) and I flew us up and far, doing all kinds of tricky maneuvers along the way. By the end of the dream, I was in fact learning to harness, refine, and dial back my energy a little because it was on full force and I was having to navigate us to a very specific coordinate that I couldn’t overshoot. That seemed like a significant dream to have at this change in cycles right now and with all that I’ve been experiencing.
But back to the quail – I adore them and love that our home is such a welcome place for all the forest creatures. They, along with the activity of the other little animals in Autumn prep, herald the change of seasons to me.
This traveling troupe, I read, take us on a journey of reflecting upon our life story and the symbolism around purpose and progress…to see if the details are aligning us to where we want to go and what we want to create as contribution. And synchronously, this HAS been a big focus for me recently.
They speak to any action being sacred and that even the smallest of steps in the direction of purpose will propel momentum and create opportunity. So, in this way they encourage action toward our goals and to seize what is showing up.
Quail are also very social, aware, instinctual, confident, connected, and community-oriented. So there are varying levels of how these messengers may show up in our lives. As always, only we can decipher how that translates for us.
And yesterday afternoon, Hope made a reappearance in the garden just outside of my office that I share with Astrid, my rabbit. She was enjoying yard munchies and even had a fun encounter with squirrel where they nearly ran into each other, and she bounded off in surprise. Of course, I giggled out loud. She sat under the fence a while just exposing her cute little cottontail and I enjoyed watching her explorations. I discovered later that she likely ate my comfrey plant, which is funny because it’s the first plant that finally took after about four efforts. I took it as a sign she’s blessing it for next year’s abundance. 😉
While watering, two chickadees were flying and perching next to me, chatting with curiosity and of course my squirrel friend made me laugh, as he ran right up to me on the top of the fence I was standing near, looked me in the eye, chattered and then ran off. He’s such a tease, as I said.
So, it was a big day of forest celebrations for tomorrow’s Equinox, the circle of life, sacred community, purpose and the journey, and enrichment even within the transitioning seasons of change.
I’m very much hunkering into the change of seasons, which includes inner preparations matching outer ones. I’m also loving to wear the Fall colors and matching the natural environment around me. It seems to be quite a full time recently for getting a LOT done.
Do you find yourself making any shifts too, whether consciously or instinctively? Or engaging in more things than normal?
I have a full couple of weeks of bulb planting, cutting old growth, bookkeeping, house cleaning, updating our Magick Rabbit Etsy shop (which I’m hoping I can get up for Equinox tomorrow since there’s a couple of sweet Autumn additions), Reiki 2 online training and road trip prep, alongside new focuses I’m developing. So, I feel a bit like the squirrels and chipmunks in seasonal production mode. Yet, like them, am making sure to integrate some fun along the way.
Which leads to the opening about “letting go of my hair,” as tomorrow I have my first appointment with my hairstylist that got rescheduled by divine alignment to Equinox. She only sees one person at a time now so that works well. I’m planning on the first big cut I’ve had in years, since I’ve been mostly just letting my hair grow during these transitional and deepening years.
Yet, I feel so ready for something lighter, fresher, softer and releasing all the years of old at the ends. Normally, I’ve been trimming about four inches off, but it grows so fast, it never seems like I do.
I’m not yet sure what will evolve this time, but it makes me excited because I love change and get bored pretty easily. This may just be the first stage of cuts to come, but whatever and whenever they happen, it is a way I align myself with the new. And since it’s been years since I have done anything more drastic, it undoubtedly reflects big, apparent, upgrading change.
I thought this was interesting. My hair is currently a little past my waist, as you can see in the left photo, which was taken Friday to document the before. The lighting wasn’t direct, so it was a little more accurate to my medium brown hair (of course I have silver too, as you can see in the photo above this one). Then just a couple of days ago, Dave saw the light on my hair streaming in from outside and took the photo on the right. It completely transformed my hair to a honey gold, or slightly strawberry blonde, which made me look like a completely different person from behind and actually mirrors my hair in photos from when I was a little girl. I had both pixie hair when I was super young, and then hair down to my butt for years. The right photo reminds me of little Tania and seems fitting to have recaptured that, since a lot of focus for me has been about retrieval of my parts.
Now, it’s about reinventing something new.
The shifting light of the season casting a glow of change and reflection.
I also have an eye appointment Thursday to upgrade my prescription, as I can tell my vision is shifting. Vision changes reflect, to me, a different perspective on life. Vision and perspective feels important, as it relates to everything shifting so much in the way we are experiencing the world and collective right now. There seems to be a call to alter our perceptions overall and even a mass movement in terms of the things more people are becoming ready to see now. As layers of the veil peel back, we are being asked to see with new eyes and trust what is being shown/felt because that will be more key in creating a different reality than the one we may have thought was the only version of reality available.
As always, I am fascinated by connecting dots of the journey and share these experiences as one of the ways in which we can invite awareness and creative energy to the process.
Nature reminds us that we need to relinquish the need to hold on tightly with fear and to trust in the process – to allow ourselves to have everything we thought we knew about ourselves to be stripped away, only to discover a greater truth to our authenticity beneath the temporary structures.
And in the process you’ll discover the only thing that is eternal is the core essence of who you are beneath the temporal layers. You learn then that the rest isn’t as serious as you make it and is simply part of the journey to that core.
We let go, just as the trees effortlessly allow their leaves to shift colors and float off in the wind. We embrace the only permanence, which is change. And we take grateful stock of what we do have, while preparing for a new birthing that will be incubating during the symbolic stillness.
Seasonal transitions mirror the evolution of human consciousness and the dynamic shifts of life cycles.
If you feel so called, perhaps you might create an intentional space, moment, or ritual of your pleasure to connect within and without as a way to unify through love.
I wish you a beautiful change of seasons that represents the merging of two into one and a balance between contrasting energies, at the portal point of Autumn Equinox (for Northern hemisphere folks) and Spring Equinox (for Southern Hemisphere folks). May it illuminate your inner journey in enriching and deepening ways.
As Summer sweetens into a lazy haze, my bare feet find solace in the thick cool clover reminding me that my blossom friends will return again.
Hints of auburn and gold Autumn hide between pine needles and sneak up each morning after anointment of faery wands dancing through the night.
Late afternoons and darkening evenings glow by the silvery song of the tree frog.
He croaks outside the door to call in a mate and his voice is both sweet and sad. I hope he won’t be alone for long.
This bitter and sweet lingers on the air of transition, as I say goodbye to the last of the foxgloves and hello to the seasonal wildflowers that seem to come and go in a blink.
Life spans are shortened like the days and light, as a mystique rolls in on the Zephyr winds.
Change is rumbling through the Earth and our bones, as seasonal circadian rhythms take on a new dance with the forest creatures in preparation.
My feet sink deeper into the cool clover; toes curling into their memories.
Creating life as a work of art is my personal motto and nature is such a guiding light example for this kind of artistry. I used to make life hard for so many years – part of that due to not having boundaries, which drowned out my voice of origins. The rest was a much needed excavation journey, but all along the nature of my heart kept singing. I just couldn’t hear it loud enough nor trusted it above the conditioned and accepted patterns and cycles I was caught up in.
The more I spent time in nature, the more I relaxed into my own.
I find all the answers to questions reflected around me always on nature’s canvas. Every tree, plant, flower, animal, insect, rock, terrain, season, and weather pattern displays a lesson for life and demonstrates how simply we can recreate, blend, merge, and resiliently design what is needed in each moment.
Perhaps that’s part of why rabbits speak to me so much too, as there’s still so much wild in them even if domesticated, and their Earth connection is richly woven into their bodies and souls.
I shared some of this on an Instagram post recently, but it goes along with this share:
I find it beneficial to embrace, and allow myself to experience, all of who I am without judgment. As I embrace all of my parts and their purpose for having been, a new perspective is born that rewrites my experience. As a result it creates a new template for a more loving, flowing relationship with myself of experiences filled with greater grace every step of the way. It’s not always easy, especially in the beginning, but with practice it becomes more natural and seamless.
I no longer need a catastrophe, physical crises, break down, or shove up against a wall in my life to know what my heart and soul needs and what changes are necessary in the bigger picture of things. My process is more about alignment, trust, and flexibility.
Support and expansion is there when I am in that flow.
While it might seem more logical to make changes when there’s a challenge, I say it’s quite empowering to make them when there aren’t.
For this reason I have understood why some people have thought I might be going through a challenge of some sort to make decisions like taking sabbaticals or changing courses altogether in areas like work, home, life and love, but the decisions are based on choice following inner knowing. I’m grateful to experience things in this new way – a way that reminds me of how nature simply unfolds in every moment, whole and complete.
Nature is my constant guide for life.
My time in nature gifts me endlessly. I find it to be the most profound for channeling, receiving inspiration, the most supportive for deep conversations, and abundant with messages and answers I’ve been pondering.
Nature helps me weave life as a work of art, as not only is she full of creative potency, but she offers me so many options and perspectives for how I want to paint each experience.
This was a feather treasure from Sunday’s long trek on the Flume Trail above Lake Tahoe. It’s very peachy gold and at first reminded me of many of my hawk guide feathers although wondered about owl since the feathers have many similarities. Upon further exploration of my feather collection and hearing from bird experts we confirmed it as great horned owl. I have several feathers from owl and hawk in my treasured collection. The timing of this one and finding it on a steep ledge upside down – nearly undetectable to the naked eye unless meant to be seen – felt very aligned.
Just some of great horned owl’s symbolism includes timing, hearing the unspoken, seeing and protecting the unseen, harbinger of new cycles and life transitions, piercing beyond the veil, shape-shifting, Great Mystery, wise action, recognizing light and dark coexisting, higher intuition, knowing, able to pierce through shadows and fears and see the darkness of others’ souls – therefore not easily being deceived.
The “knowing” aspect was synchronously peculiar, as I’d just been explaining to Dave about the form of psychic awareness I have and is continuing to grow, which comes through as a “knowing” that is part of me rather than separate to me or in some flash of channeling from outside myself. There is no separation between the things I experience and receive, making them feel very normal, natural, and seamless, possibly easily dismissed in this fashion, but I’ve learned over time to trust. Owl has shown up in readings in my past as my life path.
More interesting is what I discovered upon further exploration of great horned owl showing up that speaks to what I’m feeling. Owl can speak to stillness, slowing down, and silent observation, with perhaps even removing oneself from things to see truths all around. Owl also indicates releasing part of our lives to stay aligned and continuing to steer true to the course of inner truth guidance.
The avian clan is around me always in many forms, but the bird family of hawks, owls, osprey and falcons have been especially meaningful to my life as spirit guides, visionary teachers, and protective sentinels. Hawks are the most frequent creative life partners, with owls, osprey and falcons showing up less frequently, but at crucial points.
I’ve definitely been in a recalibration mode recently, as I have had to readjust to returning from sabbatical at a challenging worldwide crisis time while also opening to more work. Things have gotten busier than I imagined (all good things with integral purpose), but it’s very different from the quiet three months. I’m back to having client sessions and doing Reiki Healing Attunements – more than I thought but understandable, am beginning work on a book cover for an author that feels to be an important portal creation, and trying to still get my novel moving forward. I’ve also been spending extra time in the garden, cleaning up, planting, seeding, and watering and getting longer miles in than usual of exercise with hiking and biking in new areas to keep my equilibrium for well being. That alongside day-to-day things we all do like taking care of a household, three fur babies, cooking, cleaning, handling a shared side business with Dave, interacting with my community online with posts and blogs, and making sure there’s pure relaxing, do-nothing-time that’s a must in every day for me – all takes initiative, intention, focus and commitment.
After early years of strict security-based regimes, I unfolded into the freedom loving, wispy, part of me not wanting to be bound by anything and wanting to avoid hard work (escapism), and now I am creating a marriage of both as my artist’s way of life. Synchronously aligned with my actual marriage upcoming, which we just got our license for yesterday.
Now is a time for constructive use of freedom through healthy self-discipline in my life – in essence, creating a delicate balance between freedom and structure. This involves using levels of freedom wisely and well, which just so happens to also point to the numerology trajectory I’ve activated with this year’s birthday.
I’ve lived at both extremes and most of my life is now focused on implementing and embodying moderation through merging of organization, commitment, routine and responsible choices to the honoring of freedom that I also seek. This is a newer undertaking that merges the natural aspects of myself and focuses on their strengths with understanding of how committing to a certain sense of structure can actually offer the true freedom I desire. It also assists with attaining goals, manifesting, and experiencing greater clarity.
Nature reflects this for me in how she embodies so many seeming opposites together that work beautifully as a unit. There is a natural cycle, structure, inherent wisdom, sacred geometry, and symbiotic relationship that abides by certain unspoken universal ground rules, but there is also incredible variety, unusual evolutions, surprising mutations and resilient behaviors, and freedom to be wildly you that she speaks to so beautifully.
When I face frustrations in my process or feel restricted in some way, while I teach myself new, more freeing ways, I’m reminded of how nature doesn’t complain, but simply discovers new ways to thrive or renew. She reminds me of the resiliency inherent within and that sticking to my commitments will see me through and the balanced way to that is by remaining flexible, but disciplined, and focused, but open to change.
This has led me to start creating a guiding, daily time schedule while I have multiple things going on. I’m putting that together in a way that feels balanced, manageable and reasonable, while being flexible when necessary. That said, it feels incredibly important to create this in a way that is motivating and fun, but keeps me on track. Life isn’t about force and punishment. Those are old patterns of conditioning that have no place in the now. In the past I’ve been more of a one-off kind of person wanting to get each things done fully before I moved on and was an extremist. Now I’ve taught myself to be okay with things constantly in motion and giving time to each as I can in a way that feels aligned and fluid. This is healthier for me to maintain daily variety, momentum in all areas, creates a more natural rhythm and takes pressure away.
It’s also how nature creates.
I’ve also learned to say no over the years to projects and things in general, which I continue to, and to only say yes to what resonates. I newly implemented weekends to not being available so I get time away from it all too. In the past, any day seemed like a free-for-all. In all, there’s a slowing down and flow in order to not create anxiety and I remove pressures of “should’s”. I’m finding life much more rewarding and rich and I’ve never felt more vibrant.
We each have our roles and parts to play and mine is definitely as an “as within, so without” process in constantly holding that mirror up to Nature and the world at large to make those adjustments in reflection.
By working on greater equilibrium in all areas of my life, continuing to support my joy and needs alongside others as equally important, and letting go, and committing to living in alignment, all of that has balanced out before my eyes, including physically with natural changes I’m going through at my age.
And speaking of blossoming, the above and below photos are of our first blooming tree here. That seems reflective of little bits of new growth and opening in my life happening one step at a time. Things don’t just burst open all at once here in the mountains until a momentum kicks in.
Much like my own process, as I keep the wheels turning and do whatever I can in some way, inevitably there’s a chain reaction of further results that come from my continued forward movement. And soon the garden and forest will cycle into full bloom.
In the meantime, nature is in slow, steady growth right now here in the mountains, with constantly shifting weather. It speaks to me that my own life creations are needing to take their own time, too. So, I plan to relax and pick up a new color to paint life with, as the moment dictates. I will paint a little here and a little there so as to bring all parts of life together with joy and connection, be present to how each piece is integral to the next, and how there’s purpose in every brushstroke.
The idea of schedules always was daunting, but I now see it as crucial to creating life as art where I bring through all strengths together just as nature creates her masterpiece as a unit.
This doesn’t mean I don’t get things done when some of them do actually have deadlines, but I create more gentleness and joy around it all along with extra room for each by stretching them out and letting go in general when things unfold differently than I thought. Life continues to open in new ways the more I open to the true nature of me.
I’m going to be a little more “in between” worlds again, as I am needing to go to places more fully to receive what the open door is ready to channel through. I seem to be going through an evolution of sorts on several levels, to include greater access to more latent parts of me now rising. I’ll continue to keep balancing my “me” and “sharing” times with increased vigilance in order to maintain that natural rhythm and alignment.
Like the Sibyls, from which the ancient heritage within me is rooted, who lived hidden and out of reach in order to filter the energies that accessed them so they could remain devoted to the sacred purity of their connection with Mother Earth and the Cosmos through sound, there is a place within me calling for that path, moving in and out, at times unreachable, and yet ever more connected.
Since this is an Artist’s Corner post, Astrid and I share a little reminder that our Magick Rabbit Beltane Sale (the largest to date) continues through June 20th, Summer Solstice. We’re down to just 14 items (thanks to your loving support), which include updated versions with new bunny colors of our last three (UPDATE SOLD OUT) Serenity Silhouette Magick Rabbit Talisman Necklaces – all in the Cosmic Egg Style. There’s a royal blue with silvery white rabbit with a blue eye (SOLD), a sunflower yellow with gold rabbit with blue eye (SOLD), and an olive/green gold with black golden rabbit with green eye (SOLD).
And we also wanted to share a gratitude update that with your help our Magick Rabbit Etsy Shop has been able to raise donations of a little over $3100 for rescue rabbits, over the last 15+ months. We’ve sent portions of sales and auction items, as well as donated items to raise money, including 50% of proceeds from several original paintings to various non-profit rabbit organizations and micro sanctuaries with your help. The larger ticket items (original paintings) have been super helpful with this. We have six beloved ones remaining that include three animal spirit guide portals and three Magick Rabbit mini portals all found at the link below.
The sale includes 30-50% off, which makes owning an original painting like this a huge bargain. Smaller whimsical items still available too. Limited stock remains on greeting cards, notebooks and prints – all at incredible steals to bring joy to hearts and support to lives.
I thought I’d hop on briefly after being away from blogging the last ten days, just to share some of the beauty, special moments, and reflections I’ve experienced during this time. Maybe you’ve felt similar things or this little burst of nature’s inspiration may be exactly the breath of fresh air for you right now. In any event, I hope that you had a beautiful Summer Solstice, however you chose to welcome it in.
I’m still spending most of my time within the inner landscapes, but that is reflected in an increased deepening with nature and immersing even more in her realm.
This mirrors the time we lived in the Magick Bus exploring nature and National Parks for nearly a year and a half when life called me in a new direction. It’s only now that I’m getting what it all meant and where the embodiment of that change was leading.
It’s almost been like getting my feet wet again in body, from what was a resurrection of sorts from the waters of life – actually most literally. I have needed the last couple of years to reacquaint myself with things from a new perspective, which has had me dipping in and out of some things from before, tried out in the now.
Some clothes just haven’t fit, either feeling too tight or too loose – meaning they were still too tied in with the past and the energy I had completed, or they were so new that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and hence all the extra room to explore.
It’s been a time of allowing what ever wants to move through, letting go of to-do’s, and softening the reflections so that even my process with things doesn’t mirror how I used to process stuff. Life is a soft and gentle focus now. In this way, not only will what ever the new is that comes through be different than before, but the journey will be too.
I find it important for me that nothing mirrors the past, although can weave in the possibilities it held.
It still feels very fresh and I’m only beginning to immerse, as last week was more about the surrender, continued nurturing, and letting nature guide me.
So, with Solstice ringing in Summer, there’s been a ton of outdoor activity. It started Wednesday of last week while we explored a new hike to Cascade Falls – a shorter one, but climbs technically quite a bit. That felt invigorating and perfect for allowing the flow just like the gushes of water cascading down the mountain. Both the climb and the being with the water were perfect metaphors for things.
That same day we went to Baldwin Beach – another new beach for us. There, a mother duck and her seven ducklings visited and after they explored the higher activity of people down a ways from us, they came to rest in peace in front of our umbrella. Another beautiful reflection.
Thursday was a very special day – the two year anniversary of Astrid’s coming home to me at the gateway of Solstice. That’s what these first three photos celebrate. Since Astrid is such a huge part of this new life journey for me, I felt it important to capture some beautiful moments between us in the forest portal backyard of our house.
She was a surprise to me, but as I navigate this next part of my life, Astrid is my greatest guide. Where I have no example for the new I reinvent, she emulates the potential I most admire.
I love this photo below where she and I look merged as one – almost creating a Yin/Yang effect in how her body curves into mine.
Solstice is a very special time of the year for me ever since three years ago my beloved bunny, Joy, transitioned through its portal on that day in a place very dear to me – Montana. She and Astrid came from the same rabbit rescue and I feel that their entering and exiting at this gateway is significant.
The Mayans celebrated Solstice for spiritual initiation and change, creating ceremony to be in harmony with the Earth and Cosmic energies.
I remember the words from my dear shaman friend Amaru in Peru, “Nokan Inti Kani” – meaning “I am the Sun.”
Solstice extends an invitation to join the Sun’s energy and connect with your Higher Self, follow inspiration and dreams, and tune inside to the alchemy of “as within, so without.”
I find nature to be that gateway for me, as are my rabbit companions, and the Cosmos.
The Solstice gateway gifted me this beautiful golden hawk feather that I’m so grateful for.
So every day since Wednesday, nature time increased with tons of mountain biking, hiking, and beach time, as well as late afternoon/evening gardening time upon returning home from the physical activity.
To say I slept well is an understatement, as the deepening into body and moving a lot of energy in a grounding way was both nourishing and took me through cycles of decharge and recharge.
Solstice saw us in Squaw Valley where I enjoyed an intentional walk in the gorgeous meadows by myself anchoring in that new while Dave enjoyed his last day of skiing on the first day of Summer. You’ll see photos below of how beautiful this area is, reminding me of both the Swiss Alps (where I haven’t yet been, but seen photos of) and adored Iceland, as well as my favorite spots in Montana.
Seventeen miles of biking along the Truckee River that day was a way to move the energy and flow like the river.
Twenty two miles of biking the next day continued moving that energy along more gorgeous vistas.
All the while during each ride, allowing visions, thoughts, and feelings to flow, as my body did the integrating.
Two back-to-back hikes to different lakes Sunday followed by a vegan potluck picnic provided continued anchoring and as I said, each day I’d come home and plop myself in the garden planting perennials to create a low maintenance, inspiring, and beautiful backdrop that blends wild with a little intention.
I promised the Faeries of the land many things when moving here and I’m happy to create a special sanctuary for them to play in.
I’ll share more of the front and side gardens, as things blossom, but for now here are my beautiful Portulaca blooms that I adore!
The forest out back is in early stages of bloom, but as you can see they are already creating a welcome carpet to our home for the Faeries.
I just love how the wildflowers are blooming with joy everywhere – and it’s just the beginning. They feel like a love spell on my heart.
And as you can see from the below photos of Squaw Valley meadows, the Truckee River, and Cascade Falls, there’s been an abundance of inspiration all around from Mother Earth – the best nurturer there is.
As mentioned, I’m just beginning to immerse into a new realm of exploration within, so all of these good nature vibes are very nurturing to the vulnerable parts feeling safe to come through.
Because I feel that I haven’t much example to draw upon for that new, I feel nature provides me the best template and reflection for the journey.
Cultivating the garden is also very supportive, as my heart guides its creation in reflection of me as well – mostly wild, with woven threads of cultivated pockets that create synergy and harmony.
This last Wednesday I went to my third meditation group meeting that ended in a lovely picnic dinner at the beach with everyone who joined, however I feel it will likely be my last time going (at least for now) because I’m clear my work at home is more aligned for me at this time. I did leave the group with a few book recommendations to help with the “self love” topic, so they at least have some tools for any exploration they may decide to embark on past this month’s theme.
I feel called to explore on my own for now, dipping in and out when the moment calls.
The good news is (at least to me), I feel like I’m in greater alignment with the new path I’m creating than I was before. Remember I mentioned those clothes that felt too tight or too big and loose?
Energetically the ones that felt too big are now taking root and feeling more like home.
And on the literal, tangible level, the continued cleansing of, and weeding through, my closet leaves me with what feels to be the perfect essence of a place I now feel comfortable in heading to.
What’s fascinating is that the five Portal Paintings that found their new home, only just departed from Nevada on the Solstice – Yes! The Solstice of all days! Talk about divine alignment. Even though I dropped them off a week and a half earlier, they didn’t get crated and shipped out until then and so that also feels reflective of this anchoring in and clarity beginning.
The whole wild journey to get them to that point has mirrored so much of the changes I’m going through.
I’m excited for them to arrive in their new home across the country in Athens, Georgia with their amazing co-guardian where they will be open to anyone who wants to visit and meditate/work with them. This new home is being created into a form of a mini healing center welcome to people wanting to immerse in a conscious journey. As things evolve with that, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a way that people can experience them and more, and if at some point they are ready to journey on, they will be available via that portal.
I leave you now to return to my garden so I can complete the last planting I didn’t get a chance to finish yet. It feels integral to the next phase beginning.
What I love is that although the future is unknown and the vision is yet to be seen of how things look, the journey is so much more gentle and peaceful. There are those ebbs and flows, but it’s all naturally unfolding if I listen, allow, honor, and observe.
Do you experience reflections in your life that mirror the changes you’re going through?
My guess is we all do and if we stop to observe things, we’ll see it and make those connections.
If not, how might you create intention around something – like a project, gardening, etc. – to embody the potential you’re being guided to?
It will be interesting to see where the journey leads all of us.
I’ll keep this post short and sweet by kicking off with thanking those of you who joined in on the New Moon Gratitude Giveaway. Because of a busy week, it took me a while to go through the lists from people who decided to see it all the way through with me and us. I hadn’t had opportunity until this morning to go through things and post the recipients of the four gifts I promised as a way of honoring your commitment.
The four people in no particular order are:
I’ll be contacting each of you to get your gifts out. I was truly moved by the experiences you had with this and how meaningful you found it to be. I honor each of you for doing this challenging work.
This last week has been both full and full circle for me. It has solidified some things and put others into motion. Wednesday through Friday were particularly shifting, as well as a bit exhausting, yet pivotal clarity came as to a phase I chose three years ago.
I had only snippets of what it meant, but am understanding more what is in alignment with it. It’s a new phase that hasn’t an example to reflect for me, so it will be both a challenge and adventure to reinvent things.
It is because of this that the regular Ask Astrid Fridays blog didn’t come in yesterday and because of things she and I are committing to working on together, we’ll be taking at least the next week off from any blogging as well.
Depending on how much we move through, will depend on how the next week looks, but I at least want one full week to dive in deep so that I can get a handle on and anchor in a new experience we’re reinventing.
Once it feels to be in motion, I’ll be better able to schedule in other things.
This feels supportive also to my being very inward these days and needing more space for myself.
Thursday is a big day for the two of us leading into Summer Solstice on Friday. This is a special time and sacred portal that feels especially supportive for igniting what we’re focusing on right now.
We hope it will be a beautiful doorway for your light as well.
Thank you again to everyone who delved into the self gratitude and giving in the way that felt right for you. I hope you’ll continue to implement this into your life to become a natural part of living.
So much of what Astrid and I have been experiencing the past couple of weeks is an increased level of presence and pause – not altogether slamming on the breaks and stopping, but a deliberate slowing and gentle motion forward, clearing for clarity, while also being ultra open. Astrid would say it’s more of a “paws” – kind of like when she stops to clean her face with her two front paws, as you often see rabbits and other small creatures do where they sit on their back legs and lick their paws and rub their face, eyes, head, and run their ears through their sweet furry hands.
She’s still in motion, grooming, clearing, and giving herself almost like an aura cleanse, but she hasn’t altogether stopped moving even though she’s anchored to the ground on her big hind thumpers. And once she feels complete with one round of grooming in motion, I notice how she will sit very intentionally with nose moving rapidly and all of this information flowing through her and beaming out of her eyes. She may then move on to the next round of grooming.
She’s in process and it’s almost like a meditation if you watch a rabbit do this. It’s very soothing and this fluid motion is incredibly adorable as well.
So, in a way I’m “pawsing” along with her, continuing to move forward, but only in cue to the energy vibrations I feel pulsing through. Each step keeps leading me to the next and rather than stop the movement, I just hit the paws button and do more clearing, clarifying, and allowing, which has been incredibly interesting to see how ideas are gushing in with new possibility that wasn’t on my radar.
I’ve found this “zone” much like Astrid’s meditational grooming, where I feel like I continue to ride the energy currents with matching my vibration, and don’t have to create these separate compartments to everything where I start this, stop that, need to completely hault or walk away, or feel forced to make a choice. I just keep myself in a rhythm of openness without attachment and this creates the feeling of riding a current.
I bring it throughout everything and is kind of like how I’ve explained my life to be more like a walking meditation.
Decisions and steps are also becoming a more fluid journey as well.
It’s almost like being a leaf on a stream.
Sometimes I might float faster. Other times things slow down. Sometimes I might ride over some wild mini rapids through rocks or go from a wide part of the stream to a very narrow funnel head, until I’m popped out the other end.
I may even get caught in a breeze or mini whirlpool that gently circles me about in what seems like one place.
But never do I completely stop unless I decide to anchor at shore along the journey and try my feet out on land for a bit to explore a destination of choice, until I decide to get back on my leaf and continue along the stream of life.
All the while I continue moving.
So there is a new kind of pause I’m feeling and it involves more of a “yes, and….” response.
Meaning, “yes that could work and so could this,” or “yes that feels possible and wow there’s this too.” So I explore each thing and stay open, which suddenly brings in a new wave to flow on. Each builds upon the other, but there’s an invitation to creativity and imagination for opening another level of possibility that could offer more expansiveness and take me down a new part of the stream that has more potential destinations along the shore of life.
It’s not that I won’t arrive at a choice, but I’m providing a wider playing field for potential and not seeing something as a dead end or a clear “no way.” I’m also not having to stop and stick my oar into the bottom of the stream to try to latch on to something desperately.
It’s curiosity meets presence and vibrationally keeping aligned with the stream.
I don’t know if it makes sense what I’m trying to put an experience of into words, but there you go.
Water is amorphous and so I am becoming more so I guess.
So, Astrid and I have been on “paws” while we fluidly groom life right now. We’re taking in each morsel and flowing along the frequency until it morphs into something else.
This right now has felt more important than trying to get off at a destination of choice, although some energy currents have led us eventually to choices, as they are mini journeys within the whole.
Others, have much more expansive effects and reach, so these ones we do the “paws” on to clear and cleanse, while inviting in a greater part of our imagination.
It’s a much more enjoyable ride now because of remaining open without need to control and stop the process.
And it truly wasn’t until today’s share, that I’ve reflected on trying to explain a process that has now become my natural.
It’s like that with everything truly.
At first things could seem like retraining yourself or looking at all of the parts, but then they become the natural you.
Lately I’m seeing that there really isn’t work involved and things fall into that natural rhythm simply by remaining open to what is wanting through.
There’s a lot of wisdom in the “paws.”
Astrid’s nose twitches in agreement.
I feel this one will speak to a lot of you right now.
May has flown by, but I’ve definitely been experiencing the contraction before expansion that Lee reflects here, and the full circle moments.
Which of the themes are coming up for you?
Whimsical Wednesdays ~ The Artist’s Corner: You Are A Canvas To Paint From The Palette Of Your Heart
As I’m up to my Faery ears in creative fun here at the Forest Portal, Whimsical Wednesdays inspired me to share about a recent transformation I physically went through to keep in alignment with my own inner artist and soul signature expression. I’ve mentioned many times before how we can live “life as art” and that my own personal motto has been “creating life as a work of art.” This extends to all aspects of you and your experience, and I know that one of the ways that always feels to boost creative energies and inspiration for me, is when I change my way of adorning myself with different clothing choices, accessories, hairstyles, or even hair colors. The latter is what recently took place just last Thursday.
Aqua has always been my favorite color and I’ve often admired women who had aqua/teal colored hair. I just never wanted to go through the process of how you needed to get that at the time.
I actually didn’t have a plan to do this, it just happened spur of the moment. I briefly mentioned that it might be fun to do sometime and perhaps would do for my birthday. Then while I was at my hairstylist, we both got excited at my mentioning and a momentum kicked in high gear.
I walked out looking as you see in the above photo.
It was easy to do at this stage because I already have natural silver hair at top, and silver ribbons we’d been weaving in below to accentuate my wanting to go bolder and even more dramatic with embracing my silvering hair while my natural ones grow out.
I’m known to do things either big or not at all.
This provides the base to just add a color toner of my choice over these areas. It’s only semi permanent, as it fades out over continuous washings.
It was obvious to me, I was ready for this even bolder expression of my soul’s essence and having the light to darker shades of teal weaving through my brown hair makes it feel so natural to me.
For me, the aqua or teal has always represented the higher heart energy between the heart and throat – a place I feel has been more of the journey for me to expand and deepen into. Yet, it also is a color exuding a lot of creativity energy and expresses transparent, vulnerable, open communication between the heart and spoken word.
I feel much flow, joy, peace, balance, and wholeness in it.
Not to mention, it really exudes watery energy, which speaks to my Native Pisces nature and my inner mermaid or merfaery. 😉
It feels like another way I’ve embraced putting myself out there more, not being afraid to be seen, and not shying away from the parts of myself that at one time made me feel lonely, misunderstood, and different.
I’ve always felt “not of this world” and yet I’ve learned to be in it with much greater joy and peace while I’ve worked hard to merge the Earth and Cosmic parts of myself.
This new hair feels to be a visual reflection of that merging I’ve worked so hard on and the synergy I’ve been finally able to create in finding more harmony in being. It whispers of an ancient me and speaks of a future me, intertwined in the now.
And so, this new creative energy I have cascading throughout my hair, speaks to deeper embodiment for me, self love, and honoring of my creative soul.
It’s really cool to see how something so simple or perhaps silly to some, can truly speak volumes of someone’s journey and can make an energetic difference in the way you live each day in or out of alignment.
While I may do things more dramatically, even just simple changes make a world of difference.
I’ve definitely felt a shift with this new, but perhaps more “now me” and even reflections of this alignment I feel.
The first time I went out with it to an event, an older woman in her 70’s came over to me to tell me that between my hair and how I was dressed, I really looked to be very creative and artistic.
I thanked her and replied that I was in fact an artist, to which she smiled and said she could see that.
Perhaps it’s my way, as my tattoos have been, to display my heart on my sleeve and share who I really am even more transparently and unapologetically. Not to mention, is a way I share the process of my journey very openly.
Something that was very hard for me growing up and even made me cringe in the beginning stages of my adult life when I started to reveal more of myself and my artistic and spiritual work to the world.
I’ve noticed a huge creative spurt the last couple of days, too, as I’ve been in “mad” creation with the inspiration that has come for items I’ll be sharing soon in my new Etsy shop – new launch date TBA. In fact, just yesterday, I created 22 imaginative themed worlds of mini bunny Faery gardens. I have another 10 to go today, but alongside the new painting art and items, I’ve really outdone myself in output of creativity so quickly.
And I have so much more inside me to come, including great excitement (and even a bit of healthy nervousness) over returning to my book full time, which all feels interwoven like braids of hair.
I believe it has to do with my following the joy in my heart AND embracing who I really am – not being afraid to share with the world what moves through me.
This has been a very long and at times super hard journey, so I don’t want anyone thinking it came overnight and not without challenge. We have the tendency to only see what is before us now (which is great, as in focusing on the now), but tends to provide a false idea about people and that we each go through a process leading up to that now.
I mention this because, while I still work on things now, I want others to know that it is possible to move out of the place you find yourself in currently, if in fact you aren’t happy or are experiencing challenges. With commitment to you and your individual journey and process, you can create a different and more aligned experience to what you desire. Absolutely!
Growth of the spirit is a beautiful, although colored journey, and the only goal to achieve is the one you deem important to experience.
And speaking of spirit growth, many Native Americans believe hair to be a physical manifestation of the growth of the spirit and that it supports extrasensory perception, as well as connection to all things. They also believe hair to be like tentacles reaching out to take in energy and information much like whiskers on animals – makes me think of my bunny loves and their sensitivities to energies through their whiskers, ears, feet, nose, and inner vision despite being far-sighted and having a blind spot at the center.
I never thought of hair in the past as such until the last half dozen years or so, and every change I’ve made, including chopping it all and growing it out, has always reflected a turning point and shift in my life in big ways.
It really is something how the way we express our creative energy can affect things energetically.
And of course, not expressing it, has it’s own experiences as well.
Whether you feel creatively blocked or gushing with creative energy that wants a new outlet, you can do little or big things to help move it.
This could be in the form of things like playing more, as Monday’s blog shared, doodling on scratch paper, planting a garden, buying a new outfit, rearranging or redecorating your space or home, journaling and free-writing, singing, dancing, throwing paint on a blank canvas, molding some clay, spending time imagining and day-dreaming, walking in nature and seeing all of her beauty great and small, or even wearing your hair differently.
You, your life, is a blank canvas awaiting your creation. The palette of your heart is a vast and limitless space from which to choose how you want to express yourself and live your life. The only limit is choosing not to let those colors shine.
Today I thought I’d answer one of the questions I get asked a lot about my artistic journey. When did you start painting and what kind of training did you have?
It seems to me that we’re programmed to think that in order to be able to do something we must have gone through a certain kind of rigorous training and so we automatically ask these kinds of questions, as we relate seeing gifts in someone to a curriculum of schooling.
While this may be some peoples’ journeys, it isn’t everyone’s.
There are many people whose training has come “built-in” from their soul history.
There are some people who aren’t born with a filter and so they just “go for it” with expressing themselves and the creative energy that moves through them.
There are people who cultivate a passion they feel.
And there are people who are drawn to training more studiously because that feels right to them, they want to advance their techniques and expand with their breadth of work, and maybe even on some level feel it’s a way to establish value for their work, as society places such high worth on things like degrees, training, and names of schools we attend and get accepted into.
There’s no one way, or one right way. We each go on the journey that feels to provide exactly what we need.
For me, it was a strong aversion to training, classes, and schooling of any kind. So much so that I even turned down working at an art school to teach others to draw because it felt boxed-in, and since I didn’t feel right about it for myself, I just couldn’t see advocating that through my work to others. It was more about consistency for me. I had to go through that process though and interviewing, in order to confirm to me what I felt.
So what has my journey been like with art?
I have been drawing all of my life.
It was my favorite pastime.
My fondest memories are of summers sitting at the dining table with my French grandfather drawing after play time outside.
I received a lot of recognition for my drawing in elementary, middle, and high school, but never had any formal training. I naturally took to it without art class teachers’ help. In fact, most of what they said didn’t make much sense to me.
I was very good at reproducing things that I saw like a photocopy. That was my left brain, detail-oriented, perfectionist that could sit for hours working on two square inches of a piece to get every pencil or paint brush stroke exact.
It’s no surprise I was also extremely good at staying “inside” the lines of coloring books – another enjoyment I loved – along with things like creating Spirograph drawings (do you remember these?!).
Detail work is something I carry in me over lifetimes, but I’ve come to find is not my joy.
It’s a soul-ingrained pattern I’ve spent years undoing in this life.
Ironically, my childhood drawings I started doing on my own before this patterning circled back through is what I’ve returned to now. A reclaiming of my “essence,” but channeled through a fresh me.
As a child I was very good at creating simple images of what I saw in my mind’s eye of things I loved in nature all around me.
My favorite and best thing I could draw was, and remains to this day, animals.
I never felt drawn to taking classes outside of the ones we either had to, or had as electives, through high school.
For some reason I felt inclined to keep this part of my life raw in its nature and didn’t want to feel controlled by rights and wrongs. I wanted simply to bring forth my visions without boundaries. Having everything else in life feeling so controlled, this let me have one little sacred piece to myself where anything goes.
Interestingly, while I could draw people if I wanted, I just don’t really want to and it’s more effort.
What flows for me is nature, animals, magickal beings, and enchanting or cosmic visions.
While my work could easily be judged by art critics who have their own idea of what makes art “good,” for me I love the raw expression of what moves through someone’s heart.
That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the beauty of fine works of art. I am in awe of the masterpieces hanging in galleries and marvel at how incredibly they’re executed.
But I do love purity and innocence too, which is what my presence here on Earth is about. And I equally see the beauty within this type of creative expression and see them as fine works of art in their own right because, to me, art is something that not only captures a visual gift come to life, but truly moves you with emotion to experience something deep or even triggers the opening of your own heart with the images acting like keys.
Creative energy is unlimited and therefore there are many ways to bring forth artistic expression.
I say, if it feels joyful to your heart to create, then that’s art.
So, while I’ve cultivated my own form of artistic expression by listening to what moves me and implementing what I’ve integrated and worked on throughout my life, I believe we each have our own journey with this.
But I encourage anyone who feels the desire to draw, paint, or create in some way, to just do it!
There is value in expressing what you feel and if you feel it, I guarantee there is someone out there who needs just what you have to share.
What do you feel your artistic journey has been?
Sometimes we start out one way, but move into a different arena later.
Don’t be afraid to try something.
The value of art is not based on whether it hangs in a gallery or gets critical acclaim.
The value of art is in the expression.
Creativity yearns to be shared.