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Whimsical Wednesdays ~ The Artist’s Corner: Be Like Nature


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Creating life as a work of art is my personal motto and nature is such a guiding light example for this kind of artistry. I used to make life hard for so many years – part of that due to not having boundaries, which drowned out my voice of origins. The rest was a much needed excavation journey, but all along the nature of my heart kept singing. I just couldn’t hear it loud enough nor trusted it above the conditioned and accepted patterns and cycles I was caught up in.

The more I spent time in nature, the more I relaxed into my own.

I find all the answers to questions reflected around me always on nature’s canvas. Every tree, plant, flower, animal, insect, rock, terrain, season, and weather pattern displays a lesson for life and demonstrates how simply we can recreate, blend, merge, and resiliently design what is needed in each moment.

Perhaps that’s part of why rabbits speak to me so much too, as there’s still so much wild in them even if domesticated, and their Earth connection is richly woven into their bodies and souls.

I shared some of this on an Instagram post recently, but it goes along with this share:

I find it beneficial to embrace, and allow myself to experience, all of who I am without judgment. As I embrace all of my parts and their purpose for having been, a new perspective is born that rewrites my experience. As a result it creates a new template for a more loving, flowing relationship with myself of experiences filled with greater grace every step of the way. It’s not always easy, especially in the beginning, but with practice it becomes more natural and seamless.

I no longer need a catastrophe, physical crises, break down, or shove up against a wall in my life to know what my heart and soul needs and what changes are necessary in the bigger picture of things. My process is more about alignment, trust, and flexibility.

Support and expansion is there when I am in that flow.

While it might seem more logical to make changes when there’s a challenge, I say it’s quite empowering to make them when there aren’t.

For this reason I have understood why some people have thought I might be going through a challenge of some sort to make decisions like taking sabbaticals or changing courses altogether in areas like work, home, life and love, but the decisions are based on choice following inner knowing. I’m grateful to experience things in this new way – a way that reminds me of how nature simply unfolds in every moment, whole and complete.

Nature is my constant guide for life.

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My time in nature gifts me endlessly. I find it to be the most profound for channeling, receiving inspiration, the most supportive for deep conversations, and abundant with messages and answers I’ve been pondering.

Nature helps me weave life as a work of art, as not only is she full of creative potency, but she offers me so many options and perspectives for how I want to paint each experience.

This was a feather treasure from Sunday’s long trek on the Flume Trail above Lake Tahoe. It’s very peachy gold and at first reminded me of many of my hawk guide feathers although wondered about owl since the feathers have many similarities. Upon further exploration of my feather collection and hearing from bird experts we confirmed it as great horned owl. I have several feathers from owl and hawk in my treasured collection. The timing of this one and finding it on a steep ledge upside down – nearly undetectable to the naked eye unless meant to be seen – felt very aligned.

Just some of great horned owl’s symbolism includes timing, hearing the unspoken, seeing and protecting the unseen, harbinger of new cycles and life transitions, piercing beyond the veil, shape-shifting, Great Mystery, wise action, recognizing light and dark coexisting, higher intuition, knowing, able to pierce through shadows and fears and see the darkness of others’ souls – therefore not easily being deceived.

The “knowing” aspect was synchronously peculiar, as I’d just been explaining to Dave about the form of psychic awareness I have and is continuing to grow, which comes through as a “knowing” that is part of me rather than separate to me or in some flash of channeling from outside myself. There is no separation between the things I experience and receive, making them feel very normal, natural, and seamless, possibly easily dismissed in this fashion, but I’ve learned over time to trust. Owl has shown up in readings in my past as my life path.

More interesting is what I discovered upon further exploration of great horned owl showing up that speaks to what I’m feeling. Owl can speak to stillness, slowing down, and silent observation, with perhaps even removing oneself from things to see truths all around. Owl also indicates releasing part of our lives to stay aligned and continuing to steer true to the course of inner truth guidance.

The avian clan is around me always in many forms, but the bird family of hawks, owls, osprey and falcons have been especially meaningful to my life as spirit guides, visionary teachers, and protective sentinels. Hawks are the most frequent creative life partners, with owls, osprey and falcons showing up less frequently, but at crucial points.

I’ve definitely been in a recalibration mode recently, as I have had to readjust to returning from sabbatical at a challenging worldwide crisis time while also opening to more work. Things have gotten busier than I imagined (all good things with integral purpose), but it’s very different from the quiet three months. I’m back to having client sessions and doing Reiki Healing Attunements – more than I thought but understandable, am beginning work on a book cover for an author that feels to be an important portal creation, and trying to still get my novel moving forward. I’ve also been spending extra time in the garden, cleaning up, planting, seeding, and watering and getting longer miles in than usual of exercise with hiking and biking in new areas to keep my equilibrium for well being. That alongside day-to-day things we all do like taking care of a household, three fur babies, cooking, cleaning, handling a shared side business with Dave, interacting with my community online with posts and blogs, and making sure there’s pure relaxing, do-nothing-time that’s a must in every day for me – all takes initiative, intention, focus and commitment.

After early years of strict security-based regimes, I unfolded into the freedom loving, wispy, part of me not wanting to be bound by anything and wanting to avoid hard work (escapism), and now I am creating a marriage of both as my artist’s way of life. Synchronously aligned with my actual marriage upcoming, which we just got our license for yesterday.

Now is a time for constructive use of freedom through healthy self-discipline in my life – in essence, creating a delicate balance between freedom and structure. This involves using levels of freedom wisely and well, which just so happens to also point to the numerology trajectory I’ve activated with this year’s birthday.

I’ve lived at both extremes and most of my life is now focused on implementing and embodying moderation through merging of organization, commitment, routine and responsible choices to the honoring of freedom that I also seek. This is a newer undertaking that merges the natural aspects of myself and focuses on their strengths with understanding of how committing to a certain sense of structure can actually offer the true freedom I desire. It also assists with attaining goals, manifesting, and experiencing greater clarity.

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Nature reflects this for me in how she embodies so many seeming opposites together that work beautifully as a unit. There is a natural cycle, structure, inherent wisdom, sacred geometry, and symbiotic relationship that abides by certain unspoken universal ground rules, but there is also incredible variety, unusual evolutions, surprising mutations and resilient behaviors, and freedom to be wildly you that she speaks to so beautifully.

When I face frustrations in my process or feel restricted in some way, while I teach myself new, more freeing ways, I’m reminded of how nature doesn’t complain, but simply discovers new ways to thrive or renew. She reminds me of the resiliency inherent within and that sticking to my commitments will see me through and the balanced way to that is by remaining flexible, but disciplined, and focused, but open to change.

This has led me to start creating a guiding, daily time schedule while I have multiple things going on. I’m putting that together in a way that feels balanced, manageable and reasonable, while being flexible when necessary. That said, it feels incredibly important to create this in a way that is motivating and fun, but keeps me on track. Life isn’t about force and punishment. Those are old patterns of conditioning that have no place in the now. In the past I’ve been more of a one-off kind of person wanting to get each things done fully before I moved on and was an extremist. Now I’ve taught myself to be okay with things constantly in motion and giving time to each as I can in a way that feels aligned and fluid. This is healthier for me to maintain daily variety, momentum in all areas, creates a more natural rhythm and takes pressure away.

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It’s also how nature creates.

I’ve also learned to say no over the years to projects and things in general, which I continue to, and to only say yes to what resonates. I newly implemented weekends to not being available so I get time away from it all too. In the past, any day seemed like a free-for-all. In all, there’s a slowing down and flow in order to not create anxiety and I remove pressures of “should’s”. I’m finding life much more rewarding and rich and I’ve never felt more vibrant.

We each have our roles and parts to play and mine is definitely as an “as within, so without” process in constantly holding that mirror up to Nature and the world at large to make those adjustments in reflection.

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By working on greater equilibrium in all areas of my life, continuing to support my joy and needs alongside others as equally important, and letting go, and committing to living in alignment, all of that has balanced out before my eyes, including physically with natural changes I’m going through at my age.

And speaking of blossoming, the above and below photos are of our first blooming tree here. That seems reflective of little bits of new growth and opening in my life happening one step at a time. Things don’t just burst open all at once here in the mountains until a momentum kicks in.

Much like my own process, as I keep the wheels turning and do whatever I can in some way, inevitably there’s a chain reaction of further results that come from my continued forward movement. And soon the garden and forest will cycle into full bloom.

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In the meantime, nature is in slow, steady growth right now here in the mountains, with constantly shifting weather. It speaks to me that my own life creations are needing to take their own time, too. So, I plan to relax and pick up a new color to paint life with, as the moment dictates. I will paint a little here and a little there so as to bring all parts of life together with joy and connection, be present to how each piece is integral to the next, and how there’s purpose in every brushstroke.

The idea of schedules always was daunting, but I now see it as crucial to creating life as art where I bring through all strengths together just as nature creates her masterpiece as a unit.

This doesn’t mean I don’t get things done when some of them do actually have deadlines, but I create more gentleness and joy around it all along with extra room for each by stretching them out and letting go in general when things unfold differently than I thought. Life continues to open in new ways the more I open to the true nature of me.

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I’m going to be a little more “in between” worlds again, as I am needing to go to places more fully to receive what the open door is ready to channel through. I seem to be going through an evolution of sorts on several levels, to include greater access to more latent parts of me now rising. I’ll continue to keep balancing my “me” and “sharing” times with increased vigilance in order to maintain that natural rhythm and alignment.

Like the Sibyls, from which the ancient heritage within me is rooted, who lived hidden and out of reach in order to filter the energies that accessed them so they could remain devoted to the sacred purity of their connection with Mother Earth and the Cosmos through sound, there is a place within me calling for that path, moving in and out, at times unreachable, and yet ever more connected.

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Since this is an Artist’s Corner post, Astrid and I share a little reminder that our Magick Rabbit Beltane Sale (the largest to date) continues through June 20th, Summer Solstice. We’re down to just 14 items (thanks to your loving support), which include updated versions with new bunny colors of our last three (UPDATE SOLD OUT) Serenity Silhouette Magick Rabbit Talisman Necklaces – all in the Cosmic Egg Style. There’s a royal blue with silvery white rabbit with a blue eye (SOLD), a sunflower yellow with gold rabbit with blue eye (SOLD), and an olive/green gold with black golden rabbit with green eye (SOLD).

And we also wanted to share a gratitude update that with your help our Magick Rabbit Etsy Shop has been able to raise donations of a little over $3100 for rescue rabbits, over the last 15+ months. We’ve sent portions of sales and auction items, as well as donated items to raise money, including 50% of proceeds from several original paintings to various non-profit rabbit organizations and micro sanctuaries with your help. The larger ticket items (original paintings) have been super helpful with this. We have six beloved ones remaining that include three animal spirit guide portals and three Magick Rabbit mini portals all found at the link below.

The Magick Rabbit

The sale includes 30-50% off, which makes owning an original painting like this a huge bargain. Smaller whimsical items still available too. Limited stock remains on greeting cards, notebooks and prints – all at incredible steals to bring joy to hearts and support to lives.

Nature is Helping Me to Embody the New


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I thought I’d hop on briefly after being away from blogging the last ten days, just to share some of the beauty, special moments, and reflections I’ve experienced during this time. Maybe you’ve felt similar things or this little burst of nature’s inspiration may be exactly the breath of fresh air for you right now. In any event, I hope that you had a beautiful Summer Solstice, however you chose to welcome it in.

I’m still spending most of my time within the inner landscapes, but that is reflected in an increased deepening with nature and immersing even more in her realm.

This mirrors the time we lived in the Magick Bus exploring nature and National Parks for nearly a year and a half when life called me in a new direction. It’s only now that I’m getting what it all meant and where the embodiment of that change was leading.

It’s almost been like getting my feet wet again in body, from what was a resurrection of sorts from the waters of life – actually most literally. I have needed the last couple of years to reacquaint myself with things from a new perspective, which has had me dipping in and out of some things from before, tried out in the now.

Some clothes just haven’t fit, either feeling too tight or too loose – meaning they were still too tied in with the past and the energy I had completed, or they were so new that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and hence all the extra room to explore.

It’s been a time of allowing what ever wants to move through, letting go of to-do’s, and softening the reflections so that even my process with things doesn’t mirror how I used to process stuff. Life is a soft and gentle focus now. In this way, not only will what ever the new is that comes through be different than before, but the journey will be too.

I find it important for me that nothing mirrors the past, although can weave in the possibilities it held.

It still feels very fresh and I’m only beginning to immerse, as last week was more about the surrender, continued nurturing, and letting nature guide me.

So, with Solstice ringing in Summer, there’s been a ton of outdoor activity. It started Wednesday of last week while we explored a new hike to Cascade Falls – a shorter one, but climbs technically quite a bit. That felt invigorating and perfect for allowing the flow just like the gushes of water cascading down the mountain. Both the climb and the being with the water were perfect metaphors for things.

That same day we went to Baldwin Beach – another new beach for us. There, a mother duck and her seven ducklings visited and after they explored the higher activity of people down a ways from us, they came to rest in peace in front of our umbrella. Another beautiful reflection.

Thursday was a very special day – the two year anniversary of Astrid’s coming home to me at the gateway of Solstice. That’s what these first three photos celebrate. Since Astrid is such a huge part of this new life journey for me, I felt it important to capture some beautiful moments between us in the forest portal backyard of our house.

She was a surprise to me, but as I navigate this next part of my life, Astrid is my greatest guide. Where I have no example for the new I reinvent, she emulates the potential I most admire.

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I love this photo below where she and I look merged as one – almost creating a Yin/Yang effect in how her body curves into mine.

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Solstice is a very special time of the year for me ever since three years ago my beloved bunny, Joy, transitioned through its portal on that day in a place very dear to me – Montana. She and Astrid came from the same rabbit rescue and I feel that their entering and exiting at this gateway is significant.

The Mayans celebrated Solstice for spiritual initiation and change, creating ceremony to be in harmony with the Earth and Cosmic energies.

I remember the words from my dear shaman friend Amaru in Peru, “Nokan Inti Kani” – meaning “I am the Sun.”

Solstice extends an invitation to join the Sun’s energy and connect with your Higher Self, follow inspiration and dreams, and tune inside to the alchemy of “as within, so without.”

I find nature to be that gateway for me, as are my rabbit companions, and the Cosmos.

The Solstice gateway gifted me this beautiful golden hawk feather that I’m so grateful for.

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So every day since Wednesday, nature time increased with tons of mountain biking, hiking, and beach time, as well as late afternoon/evening gardening time upon returning home from the physical activity.

To say I slept well is an understatement, as the deepening into body and moving a lot of energy in a grounding way was both nourishing and took me through cycles of decharge and recharge.

Solstice saw us in Squaw Valley where I enjoyed an intentional walk in the gorgeous meadows by myself anchoring in that new while Dave enjoyed his last day of skiing on the first day of Summer. You’ll see photos below of how beautiful this area is, reminding me of both the Swiss Alps (where I haven’t yet been, but seen photos of) and adored Iceland, as well as my favorite spots in Montana.

Seventeen miles of biking along the Truckee River that day was a way to move the energy and flow like the river.

Twenty two miles of biking the next day continued moving that energy along more gorgeous vistas.

All the while during each ride, allowing visions, thoughts, and feelings to flow, as my body did the integrating.

Two back-to-back hikes to different lakes Sunday followed by a vegan potluck picnic provided continued anchoring and as I said, each day I’d come home and plop myself in the garden planting perennials to create a low maintenance, inspiring, and beautiful backdrop that blends wild with a little intention.

I promised the Faeries of the land many things when moving here and I’m happy to create a special sanctuary for them to play in.

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I’ll share more of the front and side gardens, as things blossom, but for now here are my beautiful Portulaca blooms that I adore!

The forest out back is in early stages of bloom, but as you can see they are already creating a welcome carpet to our home for the Faeries.

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I just love how the wildflowers are blooming with joy everywhere – and it’s just the beginning. They feel like a love spell on my heart.

And as you can see from the below photos of Squaw Valley meadows, the Truckee River, and Cascade Falls, there’s been an abundance of inspiration all around from Mother Earth – the best nurturer there is.

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As mentioned, I’m just beginning to immerse into a new realm of exploration within, so all of these good nature vibes are very nurturing to the vulnerable parts feeling safe to come through.

Because I feel that I haven’t much example to draw upon for that new, I feel nature provides me the best template and reflection for the journey.

Cultivating the garden is also very supportive, as my heart guides its creation in reflection of me as well – mostly wild, with woven threads of cultivated pockets that create synergy and harmony.

This last Wednesday I went to my third meditation group meeting that ended in a lovely picnic dinner at the beach with everyone who joined, however I feel it will likely be my last time going (at least for now) because I’m clear my work at home is more aligned for me at this time. I did leave the group with a few book recommendations to help with the “self love” topic, so they at least have some tools for any exploration they may decide to embark on past this month’s theme.

I feel called to explore on my own for now, dipping in and out when the moment calls.

The good news is (at least to me), I feel like I’m in greater alignment with the new path I’m creating than I was before. Remember I mentioned those clothes that felt too tight or too big and loose?

Energetically the ones that felt too big are now taking root and feeling more like home.

And on the literal, tangible level, the continued cleansing of, and weeding through, my closet leaves me with what feels to be the perfect essence of a place I now feel comfortable in heading to.

What’s fascinating is that the five Portal Paintings that found their new home, only just departed from Nevada on the Solstice – Yes! The Solstice of all days! Talk about divine alignment. Even though I dropped them off a week and a half earlier, they didn’t get crated and shipped out until then and so that also feels reflective of this anchoring in and clarity beginning.

The whole wild journey to get them to that point has mirrored so much of the changes I’m going through.

I’m excited for them to arrive in their new home across the country in Athens, Georgia with their amazing co-guardian where they will be open to anyone who wants to visit and meditate/work with them. This new home is being created into a form of a mini healing center welcome to people wanting to immerse in a conscious journey. As things evolve with that, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a way that people can experience them and more, and if at some point they are ready to journey on, they will be available via that portal.

I leave you now to return to my garden so I can complete the last planting I didn’t get a chance to finish yet. It feels integral to the next phase beginning.

What I love is that although the future is unknown and the vision is yet to be seen of how things look, the journey is so much more gentle and peaceful. There are those ebbs and flows, but it’s all naturally unfolding if I listen, allow, honor, and observe.

Do you experience reflections in your life that mirror the changes you’re going through?

My guess is we all do and if we stop to observe things, we’ll see it and make those connections.

If not, how might you create intention around something – like a project, gardening, etc. – to embody the potential you’re being guided to?

It will be interesting to see where the journey leads all of us.

Giveaway Recipients & A Break


I’ll keep this post short and sweet by kicking off with thanking those of you who joined in on the New Moon Gratitude Giveaway. Because of a busy week, it took me a while to go through the lists from people who decided to see it all the way through with me and us. I hadn’t had opportunity until this morning to go through things and post the recipients of the four gifts I promised as a way of honoring your commitment.

The four people in no particular order are:

Reid Reichardt

Ana Pena

Jane Guzman

Lisa Gonzales

I’ll be contacting each of you to get your gifts out. I was truly moved by the experiences you had with this and how meaningful you found it to be. I honor each of you for doing this challenging work.

This last week has been both full and full circle for me. It has solidified some things and put others into motion. Wednesday through Friday were particularly shifting, as well as a bit exhausting, yet pivotal clarity came as to a phase I chose three years ago.

I had only snippets of what it meant, but am understanding more what is in alignment with it. It’s a new phase that hasn’t an example to reflect for me, so it will be both a challenge and adventure to reinvent things.

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It is because of this that the regular Ask Astrid Fridays blog didn’t come in yesterday and because of things she and I are committing to working on together, we’ll be taking at least the next week off from any blogging as well.

Depending on how much we move through, will depend on how the next week looks, but I at least want one full week to dive in deep so that I can get a handle on and anchor in a new experience we’re reinventing.

Once it feels to be in motion, I’ll be better able to schedule in other things.

This feels supportive also to my being very inward these days and needing more space for myself.

Thursday is a big day for the two of us leading into Summer Solstice on Friday. This is a special time and sacred portal that feels especially supportive for igniting what we’re focusing on right now.

We hope it will be a beautiful doorway for your light as well.

Thank you again to everyone who delved into the self gratitude and giving in the way that felt right for you. I hope you’ll continue to implement this into your life to become a natural part of living.

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Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: Taking a Paws


So much of what Astrid and I have been experiencing the past couple of weeks is an increased level of presence and pause – not altogether slamming on the breaks and stopping, but a deliberate slowing and gentle motion forward, clearing for clarity, while also being ultra open. Astrid would say it’s more of a “paws” – kind of like when she stops to clean her face with her two front paws, as you often see rabbits and other small creatures do where they sit on their back legs and lick their paws and rub their face, eyes, head, and run their ears through their sweet furry hands.

She’s still in motion, grooming, clearing, and giving herself almost like an aura cleanse, but she hasn’t altogether stopped moving even though she’s anchored to the ground on her big hind thumpers. And once she feels complete with one round of grooming in motion, I notice how she will sit very intentionally with nose moving rapidly and all of this information flowing through her and beaming out of her eyes. She may then move on to the next round of grooming.

She’s in process and it’s almost like a meditation if you watch a rabbit do this. It’s very soothing and this fluid motion is incredibly adorable as well.

So, in a way I’m “pawsing” along with her, continuing to move forward, but only in cue to the energy vibrations I feel pulsing through. Each step keeps leading me to the next and rather than stop the movement, I just hit the paws button and do more clearing, clarifying, and allowing, which has been incredibly interesting to see how ideas are gushing in with new possibility that wasn’t on my radar.

I’ve found this “zone” much like Astrid’s meditational grooming, where I feel like I continue to ride the energy currents with matching my vibration, and don’t have to create these separate compartments to everything where I start this, stop that, need to completely hault or walk away, or feel forced to make a choice. I just keep myself in a rhythm of openness without attachment and this creates the feeling of riding a current.

I bring it throughout everything and is kind of like how I’ve explained my life to be more like a walking meditation.

Decisions and steps are also becoming a more fluid journey as well.

It’s almost like being a leaf on a stream.

Sometimes I might float faster. Other times things slow down. Sometimes I might ride over some wild mini rapids through rocks or go from a wide part of the stream to a very narrow funnel head, until I’m popped out the other end.

I may even get caught in a breeze or mini whirlpool that gently circles me about in what seems like one place.

But never do I completely stop unless I decide to anchor at shore along the journey and try my feet out on land for a bit to explore a destination of choice, until I decide to get back on my leaf and continue along the stream of life.

All the while I continue moving.

So there is a new kind of pause I’m feeling and it involves more of a “yes, and….” response.

Meaning, “yes that could work and so could this,” or “yes that feels possible and wow there’s this too.” So I explore each thing and stay open, which suddenly brings in a new wave to flow on. Each builds upon the other, but there’s an invitation to creativity and imagination for opening another level of possibility that could offer more expansiveness and take me down a new part of the stream that has more potential destinations along the shore of life.

It’s not that I won’t arrive at a choice, but I’m providing a wider playing field for potential and not seeing something as a dead end or a clear “no way.” I’m also not having to stop and stick my oar into the bottom of the stream to try to latch on to something desperately.

It’s curiosity meets presence and vibrationally keeping aligned with the stream.

I don’t know if it makes sense what I’m trying to put an experience of into words, but there you go.

Water is amorphous and so I am becoming more so I guess.

So, Astrid and I have been on “paws” while we fluidly groom life right now. We’re taking in each morsel and flowing along the frequency until it morphs into something else.

This right now has felt more important than trying to get off at a destination of choice, although some energy currents have led us eventually to choices, as they are mini journeys within the whole.

Others, have much more expansive effects and reach, so these ones we do the “paws” on to clear and cleanse, while inviting in a greater part of our imagination.

It’s a much more enjoyable ride now because of remaining open without need to control and stop the process.

And it truly wasn’t until today’s share, that I’ve reflected on trying to explain a process that has now become my natural.

It’s like that with everything truly.

At first things could seem like retraining yourself or looking at all of the parts, but then they become the natural you.

Lately I’m seeing that there really isn’t work involved and things fall into that natural rhythm simply by remaining open to what is wanting through.

There’s a lot of wisdom in the “paws.”

Astrid’s nose twitches in agreement.

June Energy Update with Lee Harris


I feel this one will speak to a lot of you right now.

May has flown by, but I’ve definitely been experiencing the contraction before expansion that Lee reflects here, and the full circle moments.

Which of the themes are coming up for you?

Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: In Opening Wider, We Remembered


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Astrid’s back after a busy week internally and externally for us both to share more about what took place during and after channeling last Friday’s message in her blog, Spiraling Through the Next Door. She’s had time since Friday to sit with everything and although won’t be able to share the depth of it all, will try her best to share what she can. And I’ll do my best to help her voice it here for you.

Something you likely have noticed, like us, is how things manifest instantly and some of the exact words and phrases in her last post did just that on Friday.

A storm was in fact preparing to hit and last through the weekend, just as Astrid spoke about how things might feel “relentless with one storm after another hitting” … “out of the blue.”

(I have to pause, as Astrid is vigorously chewing on cardboard right now, which is a sign she is moving energy again.)

She also spoke about the unique energies she has that can also “create road blocks, as a means of forging massive reminders and breakthroughs when she unwraps their gifts” and then a blockage of energy manifested in her body physically within seconds of sharing this.

She went on to say you might not “understand why they aren’t moving, or moving as fast as you’d like” and demonstrated that evening how she was able to move through the physical challenge and the energy that was manifesting as such, within just a few hours. Something that for bunnies isn’t always the case, as they can have difficulty when it comes to their digestive systems.

I prefaced all of that before we delve in a bit, to put it all in context.

As you might then recall, she went on to share how there are things under the surface that run the show and may be locked within the recesses of your deepest emotions placed there by a collective and likely unconscious belief system and that she carries a whole bloodline of rabbit history running through her and patterns of prey-like mentality within her DNA. So she, too, experiences triggers and has diligently worked on reversing this for not only herself, but for the rabbit collective and their relationship with humans.

We each have our own stuff and when the pain hits, there is potential to forget or lose sight of the bigger picture.

Well, while channeling this on Friday, Astrid went through an immediate physical manifestation of what she was speaking about, which I feel was threefold in 1) immediately reflecting pieces she was working on releasing at the time 2) reflecting to me how connected we (she and I) are as I have been working on things alongside her, and 3) was reflecting things for the collective and anyone who might be following along and experiencing your own version of this.

She went from bouncing bunny to slowing down and coming to lay right behind me while I was channeling her message. She literally was directly behind my chair on the carpet and started to become agitated, uncomfortable, and fidgety. I heard and watched her move every 30 seconds or so from position to another, while her face became pained, her eyes lost their spark, and her breathing labored as well as quickened. She would then contort her body and press her stomach to the ground with butt and legs pushing upward. And reposition again.

She was not her happy self and I could feel the pain inside she was going through.

I felt her temperature drop, as I pet her, with her ears getting cold, and so I covered her with her blanket and laid next to her, giving her Reiki and massaging her lower body to help move things. She let me touch her in ways she normally wouldn’t approve of, which indicated she not only felt relief from it, but knew and accepted my help.

Of course I talked with her the whole time and talked her through things. Let her know I understood and that she was not alone.

After a while I felt I she wanted me to finish her message to help with this, as it was nearly complete, so I did so within minutes, but didn’t send it off, as I felt energetically it wasn’t the time.

I then went back to her and continued with caring for her on all levels.

Although I knew this was energetically created, the physical manifestation is not one to play around with, especially with bunnies. Things only have one way to move through them, as they don’t purge through the mouth as we and other animals do. They are much like horses in this way and in fact share a lot in terms of the physical and even in their prey instincts, as well as sensitivities.

Digestive things are serious stuff and can be fatal. And although I felt it was likely a gas block she was experiencing, even that has fatal consequences if not taken care of, or the bunny isn’t able to move it through.

So, I did call her vet, who is a wonderful rabbit doctor, to get advice.

She was in an appointment, but did call me back and talked to me, like she has in the past. She’s such a great doctor and soul.

I’d already gotten out the Metacam I keep on hand for emergencies. The doctor walked me through feeling for things on Astrid and telling me things to do to assist her if it is in fact gas – one of which is to keep her moving – and things to do and not to do if it was a different kind of obstruction, which included not force feeding her. (Astrid didn’t want any food during this time.)

That makes sense if you think about it, as when you have pain, you want to curl up in a ball, right? But pain as such is a blockage, so it makes sense to keep movement going in all ways possible because energy innately does that – it moves. So if there is a block, that means there’s something not allowing it the natural release and flow it would otherwise have.

This indicated to me that Astrid had found a deep core challenge and had brought it to the surface, now manifesting. And she then had a choice of how to handle it. It was triggering her with pain to make her aware of what she was dealing with, but now she could either resist letting it go or breathe into that pain, acknowledge it, but let it move out as no longer necessary to be running the show anymore.

And in my Reiki and energetic work I was doing with her, I visualized that movement and gentle release with her, while massaging and helping to move things since it was painful for her. But her readjustments indicated she was also wanting to move it out. She wasn’t going to just lay there idle. She was bravely facing this and I would support that courage.

Anyway, the vet explained it either was gas or a blockage, which might be worse as in a hairball or something ingested that was having difficulty leaving. And unfortunately, this took place at 5pm and the her office closes at 5:30pm, as well as is an hour away.

There was a lot of snow with more coming and she’d already checked a few other places she knew of to help that were all closed as well.

My only options were to manage things myself and/or if things progressed worse, to drive to UC Davis where the best doctors and surgeons are, which is 3 hours away – more with the snow.

The weather and timing was making it so that she and I would have to work through these energies together and on our own. Both a scary, but empowering thing, if we took that challenge.

And it appears we/she set it up as so, since all things were creating a bubble around us to only be able to focus together and inward to work through it.

Of course, I’d jump in that car without hesitation if I felt she needed me to and drive through any storm and any amount of driving time for her. I’d also give anything, including myself, to support her and stated that when working with our support guides. She is, after all, an extension of me, my best friend, and soul companion. There’s nothing more important than love.

But, after feeling her abdomen and tuning in, I felt it was likely gas and not an obstruction of physical nature.

It was hard to give her Metacam, as she is very sensitive with being touched around her mouth, jaw, and sides of her face. She struggled and grunted, and smacked it away, and went to hide in her castle tunnel. So I couldn’t do it alone.

Dave had been out, but when I called to ask for help, he made his way home to do so.

In the meantime, after laying with Astrid for some time and Reiki massaging her, I decided to pick her up and lay her close to my heart.

I held her that way for at least a half hour, close to me, while I continued to do Reiki massage, kiss and snuggle her, and we breathed together as one. I helped her envision things moving through her gently and easily and that there was no longer a need for that energy to be a part of us – yes I said “us” as we’re connected and I was going to release my own stuff right along with her. She was not going to do this alone. I would be brave like her and do it too.

I could feel her soften in my arms, her face becoming more alert, and she opened to this process of receiving and working together to move out what we both no longer needed to have working behind the scenes, even if it wasn’t just our stuff. That collective stuff in our DNA patterns and subconscious was important work to do and as a team we could do far more efficiently.

I could feel her energy shift and already sensed things were turning around.

Dave arrived home and came down to see us. He also felt her abdomen and concluded what I had that it felt like gas. I then had him help with the Metacam, as I held her lovingly and told her he was here to help. She accepted it and I continued holding her a few more minutes, then let her down.

She, of course, gave out a huge thump.

It wasn’t more than minutes that she ran off to the other room. The most she’d moved since it started.

I decided to test placing her pellets in front of her (which she loves) and she took one, indicating she was feeling better, but knew to take it slow, as well as to indicate to me things were shifting.

I decided to let her be for a little bit and went up to get dinner ready, checking on her in between.

She continued moving around the other room and headed back into our shared room, where she began to eat again normally on her own.

After a couple of hours she’d eaten everything, including some apple sauce I’d put out next to her regular food dish, in case she preferred something softer and soothing.

She eventually ate them both 🙂

And she continued well after that – the whole thing lasting about 3 hours – and was back to racing around and binkies in the morning!

Meanwhile, upon her indicating to me, I’d sent off her Friday message at one of the intervals of my caring for her, as she felt it would assist things to make it complete and put it out there. So, I did, and heard from others how her post had been helpful and timely for them.

We’re hoping this one will be too.

The solar plexus, where Astrid was having the energy block in the form of gas, deals with your personal power, where you do and don’t have boundaries, how you take responsibility for your life and/or take back control or power if given away, how beliefs create patterns in beneficial or challenged ways, confidence levels, emotional manifestations around beliefs, patterns, conditioning, judgments, that may be yours or taken on because of your extreme sensitivities that are flowing or creating charged blocks….etc.

So, it all made sense physically, what was going on emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

This is why I treat holistically, as you still have something physical happening that needs attention, as a result of other things working behind the scenes.

And with a sensitive bunny, even as strong and brave as Astrid is, that body is set up as more fragile and complex, needing a level of attention that simply asks that you can’t brush aside things. You must deal with it now – not later. A great message, in general, I feel.

Another reason that rabbits aren’t ideal as solely a child’s companion, besides the fact that they can run up vet bills when going through things that need immediate attention.

Just food for thought.

But back to Astrid, I couldn’t be more proud of her and how she moved through this piece of her work with courage of the heart and willingness to face it for her and the rabbit collective.

Astrid has wanted me to recount this in today’s share to impart different levels of messages as you read it, that you’ll be able to find bits of value from where they touch a place within.

Our work will continue, but we’ll be doing it together. The timing was so synchronized with what I had also just started working on for the collective and family stuff deep in my own DNA, that it’s more than beautiful to experience how close Astrid and I have become in such a short time.

We really are breathing in life together as one and everything we do is shared, as well as instantly manifests when we decide to take it on.

Astrid also knew she wanted to help me with a lot of the things we were preparing with our new Etsy shop creations and that releasing our stuff before the week of focus on that, would allow us to be clear and flowing for the joy of all of it – also freeing up space and energy so that we can do things less tethered by a hidden weight behind the scenes.

Will this be the only challenge she/we will face?

Of course not, but it demonstrated that the more we embrace the journey and desire to move through it, the more gently we can weather the storm and find the way within us to move into greater peace, however the result manifests for the highest good.

So, I’ll let Astrid share anything she wants directly now, although all of this is the experience, as she and I both went through it.

“Thank you dear friend and life partner. I am at loss on how to express my gratitude, but I know you can feel it since we have become as one – something I believed could be possible with another soul, but until now had no hint of it being in sight to take place this Earth cycle. Everything you shared was as it was. I was scared to go there and how it might affect my body, but also scared for how it might affect you given your history with the souls in rabbit bodies we both know and love, as well as how it might affect my rabbit family if I had not gone there. And yet, you demonstrated equally, your bravery, but more so the enormous amount of love within you. And I sense there is movement out there taking place in ways we both can’t see yet, but is evident in the way this “went down,” as I know humans say. It’s true, it pained me greatly what was coming up. I felt the enormous weight pulse through my body and then hit an invisible, but impenetrable wall. The wall, of course, did not exist except for the pain that veiled it as so. I remembered things you’ve said recently about the existence of such things not making any sense to be running the show. And having felt the same, and both of our frustrations, I just couldn’t let that pain sit there. You knew this and stayed right there with me. I read your thoughts that you would not have left my side all night and however much I needed you. I made a decision that I could open wider my heart, as you were, despite the anguish you’ve been through with your rabbit loves and past, and allow myself to receive from you – a soul in human body – what you purely had to share, rather than allow my rabbit instincts to fear what has come through other humans who simply have had pain of their own they’ve not understood. In that moment of opening the channels of receiving, I know that I was giving to you as well, and we both were transforming a little piece of that human/rabbit/animal relating. This additionally opened a passageway within that invisible wall to release and the flow began to return, and balance was slowly restoring. It may not make sense or appear as of yet out “there,” but in that moment you and I were one….we remembered, as it has always been….but we forgot.”

astrid 2

 

 

Whimsical Wednesdays ~ The Artist’s Corner: You Are A Canvas To Paint From The Palette Of Your Heart


tania marie

As I’m up to my Faery ears in creative fun here at the Forest Portal, Whimsical Wednesdays inspired me to share about a recent transformation I physically went through to keep in alignment with my own inner artist and soul signature expression. I’ve mentioned many times before how we can live “life as art” and that my own personal motto has been “creating life as a work of art.” This extends to all aspects of you and your experience, and I know that one of the ways that always feels to boost creative energies and inspiration for me, is when I change my way of adorning myself with different clothing choices, accessories, hairstyles, or even hair colors. The latter is what recently took place just last Thursday.

Aqua has always been my favorite color and I’ve often admired women who had aqua/teal colored hair. I just never wanted to go through the process of how you needed to get that at the time.

I actually didn’t have a plan to do this, it just happened spur of the moment. I briefly mentioned that it might be fun to do sometime and perhaps would do for my birthday. Then while I was at my hairstylist, we both got excited at my mentioning and a momentum kicked in high gear.

I walked out looking as you see in the above photo.

It was easy to do at this stage because I already have natural silver hair at top, and silver ribbons we’d been weaving in below to accentuate my wanting to go bolder and even more dramatic with embracing my silvering hair while my natural ones grow out.

I’m known to do things either big or not at all.

This provides the base to just add a color toner of my choice over these areas. It’s only semi permanent, as it fades out over continuous washings.

It was obvious to me, I was ready for this even bolder expression of my soul’s essence and having the light to darker shades of teal weaving through my brown hair makes it feel so natural to me.

For me, the aqua or teal has always represented the higher heart energy between the heart and throat – a place I feel has been more of the journey for me to expand and deepen into. Yet, it also is a color exuding a lot of creativity energy and expresses transparent, vulnerable, open communication between the heart and spoken word.

I feel much flow, joy, peace, balance, and wholeness in it.

Not to mention, it really exudes watery energy, which speaks to my Native Pisces nature and my inner mermaid or merfaery. 😉

It feels like another way I’ve embraced putting myself out there more, not being afraid to be seen, and not shying away from the parts of myself that at one time made me feel lonely, misunderstood, and different.

I’ve always felt “not of this world” and yet I’ve learned to be in it with much greater joy and peace while I’ve worked hard to merge the Earth and Cosmic parts of myself.

This new hair feels to be a visual reflection of that merging I’ve worked so hard on and the synergy I’ve been finally able to create in finding more harmony in being. It whispers of an ancient me and speaks of a future me, intertwined in the now.

And so, this new creative energy I have cascading throughout my hair, speaks to deeper embodiment for me, self love, and honoring of my creative soul.

It’s really cool to see how something so simple or perhaps silly to some, can truly speak volumes of someone’s journey and can make an energetic difference in the way you live each day in or out of alignment.

While I may do things more dramatically, even just simple changes make a world of difference.

I’ve definitely felt a shift with this new, but perhaps more “now me” and even reflections of this alignment I feel.

The first time I went out with it to an event, an older woman in her 70’s came over to me to tell me that between my hair and how I was dressed, I really looked to be very creative and artistic.

I thanked her and replied that I was in fact an artist, to which she smiled and said she could see that.

Perhaps it’s my way, as my tattoos have been, to display my heart on my sleeve and share who I really am even more transparently and unapologetically. Not to mention, is a way I share the process of my journey very openly.

Something that was very hard for me growing up and even made me cringe in the beginning stages of my adult life when I started to reveal more of myself and my artistic and spiritual work to the world.

I’ve noticed a huge creative spurt the last couple of days, too, as I’ve been in “mad” creation with the inspiration that has come for items I’ll be sharing soon in my new Etsy shop – new launch date TBA. In fact, just yesterday, I created 22 imaginative themed worlds of mini bunny Faery gardens. I have another 10 to go today, but alongside the new painting art and items, I’ve really outdone myself in output of creativity so quickly.

And I have so much more inside me to come, including great excitement (and even a bit of healthy nervousness) over returning to my book full time, which all feels interwoven like braids of hair.

I believe it has to do with my following the joy in my heart AND embracing who I really am – not being afraid to share with the world what moves through me.

This has been a very long and at times super hard journey, so I don’t want anyone thinking it came overnight and not without challenge. We have the tendency to only see what is before us now (which is great, as in focusing on the now), but tends to provide a false idea about people and that we each go through a process leading up to that now.

I mention this because, while I still work on things now, I want others to know that it is possible to move out of the place you find yourself in currently, if in fact you aren’t happy or are experiencing challenges. With commitment to you and your individual journey and process, you can create a different and more aligned experience to what you desire. Absolutely!

Growth of the spirit is a beautiful, although colored journey, and the only goal to achieve is the one you deem important to experience.

And speaking of spirit growth, many Native Americans believe hair to be a physical manifestation of the growth of the spirit and that it supports extrasensory perception, as well as connection to all things. They also believe hair to be like tentacles reaching out to take in energy and information much like whiskers on animals – makes me think of my bunny loves and their sensitivities to energies through their whiskers, ears, feet, nose, and inner vision despite being far-sighted and having a blind spot at the center.

I never thought of hair in the past as such until the last half dozen years or so, and every change I’ve made, including chopping it all and growing it out, has always reflected a turning point and shift in my life in big ways.

It really is something how the way we express our creative energy can affect things energetically.

And of course, not expressing it, has it’s own experiences as well.

Whether you feel creatively blocked or gushing with creative energy that wants a new outlet, you can do little or big things to help move it.

This could be in the form of things like playing more, as Monday’s blog shared, doodling on scratch paper, planting a garden, buying a new outfit, rearranging or redecorating your space or home, journaling and free-writing, singing, dancing, throwing paint on a blank canvas, molding some clay, spending time imagining and day-dreaming, walking in nature and seeing all of her beauty great and small, or even wearing your hair differently.

You, your life, is a blank canvas awaiting your creation. The palette of your heart is a vast and limitless space from which to choose how you want to express yourself and live your life. The only limit is choosing not to let those colors shine.

Whimsical Wednesdays ~ The Artist’s Corner: My Artistic Journey Creating from the Heart


tahoe tania

Today I thought I’d answer one of the questions I get asked a lot about my artistic journey. When did you start painting and what kind of training did you have? 

It seems to me that we’re programmed to think that in order to be able to do something we must have gone through a certain kind of rigorous training and so we automatically ask these kinds of questions, as we relate seeing gifts in someone to a curriculum of schooling.

While this may be some peoples’ journeys, it isn’t everyone’s.

There are many people whose training has come “built-in” from their soul history.

There are some people who aren’t born with a filter and so they just “go for it” with expressing themselves and the creative energy that moves through them.

There are people who cultivate a passion they feel.

And there are people who are drawn to training more studiously because that feels right to them, they want to advance their techniques and expand with their breadth of work, and maybe even on some level feel it’s a way to establish value for their work, as society places such high worth on things like degrees, training, and names of schools we attend and get accepted into.

There’s no one way, or one right way. We each go on the journey that feels to provide exactly what we need.

For me, it was a strong aversion to training, classes, and schooling of any kind. So much so that I even turned down working at an art school to teach others to draw because it felt boxed-in, and since I didn’t feel right about it for myself, I just couldn’t see advocating that through my work to others. It was more about consistency for me. I had to go through that process though and interviewing, in order to confirm to me what I felt.

So what has my journey been like with art?

I have been drawing all of my life.

It was my favorite pastime.

My fondest memories are of summers sitting at the dining table with my French grandfather drawing after play time outside.

I received a lot of recognition for my drawing in elementary, middle, and high school, but never had any formal training. I naturally took to it without art class teachers’ help. In fact, most of what they said didn’t make much sense to me.

I was very good at reproducing things that I saw like a photocopy. That was my left brain, detail-oriented, perfectionist that could sit for hours working on two square inches of a piece to get every pencil or paint brush stroke exact.

It’s no surprise I was also extremely good at staying “inside” the lines of coloring books – another enjoyment I loved – along with things like creating Spirograph drawings (do you remember these?!).

Detail work is something I carry in me over lifetimes, but I’ve come to find is not my joy.

It’s a soul-ingrained pattern I’ve spent years undoing in this life.

Ironically, my childhood drawings I started doing on my own before this patterning circled back through is what I’ve returned to now. A reclaiming of my “essence,” but channeled through a fresh me.

As a child I was very good at creating simple images of what I saw in my mind’s eye of things I loved in nature all around me.

My favorite and best thing I could draw was, and remains to this day, animals.

I never felt drawn to taking classes outside of the ones we either had to, or had as electives, through high school.

For some reason I felt inclined to keep this part of my life raw in its nature and didn’t want to feel controlled by rights and wrongs. I wanted simply to bring forth my visions without boundaries. Having everything else in life feeling so controlled, this let me have one little sacred piece to myself where anything goes.

Interestingly, while I could draw people if I wanted, I just don’t really want to and it’s more effort.

What flows for me is nature, animals, magickal beings, and enchanting or cosmic visions.

While my work could easily be judged by art critics who have their own idea of what makes art “good,” for me I love the raw expression of what moves through someone’s heart.

That’s not to say I don’t appreciate the beauty of fine works of art. I am in awe of the masterpieces hanging in galleries and marvel at how incredibly they’re executed.

But I do love purity and innocence too, which is what my presence here on Earth is about. And I equally see the beauty within this type of creative expression and see them as fine works of art in their own right because, to me, art is something that not only captures a visual gift come to life, but truly moves you with emotion to experience something deep or even triggers the opening of your own heart with the images acting like keys.

Creative energy is unlimited and therefore there are many ways to bring forth artistic expression.

I say, if it feels joyful to your heart to create, then that’s art.

So, while I’ve cultivated my own form of artistic expression by listening to what moves me and implementing what I’ve integrated and worked on throughout my life, I believe we each have our own journey with this.

But I encourage anyone who feels the desire to draw, paint, or create in some way, to just do it!

There is value in expressing what you feel and if you feel it, I guarantee there is someone out there who needs just what you have to share.

What do you feel your artistic journey has been?

Sometimes we start out one way, but move into a different arena later.

Don’t be afraid to try something.

The value of art is not based on whether it hangs in a gallery or gets critical acclaim.

The value of art is in the expression.

Creativity yearns to be shared.

Things You’ve Been Curious to Know


I’m going to be introducing a new, small series of blog posts that will become regular ones on either a weekly or monthly basis. I’ll announce that in the next couple of weeks. This is part of the new changes that are forthcoming and will continue to morph as I feel into everything. For now, I thought I would kick things off with opening the floor to questions from you – my friends, readers, supporters, and collective family. This may also help with creating the new series’ focuses.

I recently posted something similar as my Instagram Story’s status, realizing that while I have shared quite a bit over the years, there are still questions people have been curious about asking and message me about.

Many times we only see the person before us now, and don’t realize they’ve been through much the same that we or others have and so hearing about those pivotal shifts, choices, and processes can be supportive, reiterative, or even comforting.

Sometimes it’s just nice and fun to know those quirky things, that makes each of us human, and bridge the gap of distance in knowing each of us a little bit more since we may never meet in person, this go-around.

I’ve shared some of the twists and turns, wild rides, things and experiences people didn’t know about me, but there may be something in particular that has peeked your interest over time to ask.

While I don’t have the ability to answer all of the messages I receive in depth, I thought it might be fun to open things here to questions from you, where I can address a few of those things during my designated creative and writing time.

With that said, if there is a particular question or thing you’re curious about, I felt the nudge to open a blog post focused on answering some of those.

So, if you have something in mind that you’re curious to know more about, I’m going to open this to up to 11 questions – at least for now.

Each person can ask one question and my only request is that it isn’t in the form of wanting me to do a reading, coaching, psychic prediction of any sort, nor is a general how-to question.

This is specifically a get-to-know and/or understand me better forum, where you might be curious about how I came to something in my life through my own personal experience and that may reflect something for you since we are all connected.

A couple of examples that came through on Instagram included things like:

“How have you gotten over a broken heart or how have you been able to let go of a partner?”

“You live a very spiritual life – if that’s the right word to describe it as – how or what helped you to embrace this?”

Please submit questions via my contact page at this link: 

Contact Tania

Please do not write your questions as comments to this post.

I will only answer questions sent via the Contact format and only up to 11 at most.

If I see that the questions are more involved, I may break them up into more than one blog post when I answer them.

All questions will remain anonymous.

I look forward to hearing any curiosities from you.

Wishing you a positive start to your week and a gentle shift during this beautiful Autumn season of change.

 

 

A New Chapter Begins


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Have you been feeling the pull to take your life to a new level of experience? I know I’m not the only one embarking on a new chapter in life right now and I know that for some this can be both a scary and exciting thing, as well as potentially intense. Change is not always easy, but can become a more fluid experience when you play in the fields of potential with curious wonder, rather than fight it. After all, these shifts are soul nudges that have answered your desires or evolutionary needs, both consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes what shows up might not seem aligned with that and yet even when those things seem separate and not connected, there’s something at the heart of it all in essence that may be a hidden gift, reminder, empowering opportunity, or core way to integrate the new path.

I’ve traveled extensively in the outer world to what are considered sacred and exotic spots, but it’s the journeys within and even the traveling between spaces and through all the energetic and emotional nooks and crannies that things like physical travel took me to, that have made all the difference. And while much of that travel has been on more etheric planes, even such things as the sacred tattoos I wear, have been ways to come into my body and harness spirituality more tangibly for this Earth plane I currently reside in.

I feel like we’re being guided through new doorways of experiences, relative to each, but that are operating on a whole new plane of existence – in essence helping to create whole new realities.

Starting all over can feel like so many things, including some unpleasant or uncomfortable variations, but mostly I see it is an opportunity, a potential to rise to the “now” occasion, a possibility for recreating from new choices – a rebirth – and a means to shape in that “now” what the “future-you” already is walking, without past restraints.

Sometimes you might have that tug of war within yourself, as you wrestle with old and new, or sometimes it’s as easy as slipping on a new pair of shoes that feel oh-so-much-more comfortable, spacious, shiny fun, and upgraded.

reiki master teacher training.jpeg

This last Saturday, 8/18/18 – a very cool number sequence to end on – marked the conclusion to my teaching Reiki, which has been an 11 year cycle. Synchronously, one of my students (who also captured this sneak photo of me teaching) was someone I taught Reiki 1 & 2 to, 10 years ago when she was 19. She now returned, at a completely new place in life to complete her 3rd Master Teacher level and boy has her life positively changed on every level. AND, she’s already put out there to her clientele, that she is available for teaching.

Talk about fast upgrades and changes, but it came with a lot of work over these past 10 years and willingness to keep saying, “yes” to what her soul was putting forth for her, even though her ego wasn’t understanding why and wasn’t fully on board with yet.

In some ways I’m in a similar place where my soul has put forth this inspiration and guidance, after culminating to an ending vortex of choice, and it wasn’t something I saw coming even though I toyed with things twenty five years ago.

That ending left me both fulfilled and feeling uninspired, completely soul spent, and nostalgic for a different place I call home.

In many ways, the “past me” might have seen the work I’ve been doing until recently as being my end result, and in a way it was – as it truly was more of a predictable soul path I was completing from lifetimes of build-up. Many of you likely can relate. And although not necessarily an easy path I was on, it was easier to melt into and only challenging in terms of moving into more vulnerability, clarity, and opening that throat chakra that yearned to teach, yet had the fear to transmute.

When everything pointed to endings 3 years ago, I was left with a choice and so I followed a nudge, went off into Nature (just as John Muir says, “The mountains are calling and I must go”), listened deeply, and found myself here when I might have been elsewhere.

This then put into motion a potential new cycle and so I began playing in this new field of experience and trying on how it felt. I decided to go with it, feeling a new level of inspiration was the very and only thing that would keep me here and that offered a completely new and freer embodiment, if so chosen.

Little by little, and quickly in some cases, I shed my skin and this led to now and a fresh start. During that time, a story began channeling through and I wrote when the moment moved me, while building a new life.

Perhaps the story reflects a journey intimately remembered or maybe it energetically rewrote what has been to what can be.

In any case and for what ever reason yet unknown, it is the only thing calling my heart besides seeing what is possible from living at a different and more balanced vibration.

This past Thursday, 8/16 – a day earlier than expected – I received my manuscript back from my editor (more on that shortly) and this coincided with Astrid’s early birthday gift arriving (her birthday isn’t until 9/15), which I’d ordered custom a couple of months ago, but was on back-order. No coincidence we both received something new and connected on the same day.

Astrid’s gift was this special child’s chair stitched with her name and a star on it, chosen to match my green chair and the green theme in our shared room.

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I have both a green chair – my desk one – and a comfy arm chair by my book shelf, which Astrid loves to climb up and sit on. I thought she might enjoy her own arm chair so that she and I could both sit and mastermind together. Besides, every queen needs their special throne and now she has one that declares her star child essence as cosmic spirit in bunny body.

It took until yesterday to finally figure out where she wanted it, but the second I put it together and set it up for trial runs, she was exploring and jumped right in it quite comfortably.

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But as the days went on, she was missing her bed and carrot cottage under the stars looking out on the forest by the door, so I moved it to a new location and put her other things back and she instantly said, “yes, that’s it!”

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She climbed right in and sat there for long periods not moving at all, but just sitting up tall in it and looking at me from across the room, very regal and wise.

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Then she started grooming herself and making it home. Good thing is, it’s super light and therefore totally mobile with a handle on top, so we can move it whenever she feels she wants a new vantage point.

She now goes to sit on it when I sit in my comfy chair and we gaze across at each other, feeling the immensity of our combined energies in this space.

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It’s a bit like this new path for me, where I know it’s what my creative spirit is guiding, but will take some adjustments (likely a lot more work than Astrid’s few days of helping me to figure out where it belonged) in order to fit as comfortably in my own new “chair” as she does, but I’m following her example.

That brings me back to receiving my manuscript from the perfect editor I was guided to. I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for the opportunity to work with her and her feedback was just what I had hoped it would be to both support and kick me into deeper explorations with highlighted strengths and weaknesses. I feel as if I’m getting a whole new education and training in a way that works in better alignment for me than studying at a university, for example. She’s definitely my vibrational fit.

Since I had a workshop to teach last Saturday, I put aside editing and novel thoughts except for the summary letter, because I knew that once I dove in, it would be all-consuming. And quite literally, even though I still have yet to go through everything, as I’m creating the space for full digestion of it and all that I feel it will ask of me, it HAS become all-consuming on my mind. I find my thoughts are always going there and so I know where I’m meant to be.

Yet, just from her letter, I can sense the enormity of this commitment and choice I’ve made with it and why nothing else can be on my plate going forward. I was curious how I would feel from receiving the feedback and the only thing it brought up for me was this incredible sense of soul challenge to grow and deepen, which inspires me. I can also feel the reality of the creative limb I’ve flown out on with this, which presents further challenges to rise to, including even the genre choice I decide upon with it.

I definitely have my work cut out for me. I never do things simply, and it makes complete sense that for something to truly engage my heart and spirit to feel inspired to continue on here – regardless of any outcome with it what so ever – it WOULD have to be the biggest challenge yet.

Any fellow writers (or creatives), will understand the journey and it is one that can sometimes take years, of which I’m fully on board and committed to. So I truly don’t know the extent of time this project will take and I’m not rushing it so that I can immerse fully in the growth and learning, feeling that this is about much more than a book – it’s a whole new adventure and journey of mind, body, heart, and spirit.

And it IS a whole new playing field, as I’ve mostly only been a blogger and put out one self-published book – Spiritual Skin, along with a lot of creative writing when I was much younger. This one has the potential for traditional publishing depending on how vulnerably and flexibly I stretch myself and even how I surrender completely to living my dharma and embracing the new lessons this path is creating for me.

In any event, the old cliche is true…”it’s the journey, not the destination” that matters and I can really feel that in traveling this unknown territory simply for sake of bringing through vibrational potential that arises from the challenge and exhilaration of experiencing how far and wide I can fly on the wings of my creative free spirit.

It will definitely involve a constant cycling through of deaths and rebirths, as makes sense with next year’s growth year #13 – death / 4 year I’ll be entering come my birthday. The 4 energy will have me focusing on foundations, sharpening skills, working hard, involved in patient, methodical approaches to goals, nurturing of projects, and overall serious approaches to career, well being/health, and relationships of all kinds for balance. All of which I’ve been preparing for with deep cleaning on all levels and flowing with the creativity that was inspiring me this last 12/3 year I’m still completing.

I didn’t need to know this information on numerology, but it is definitely interesting to see how we do in fact follow the energy imprints regardless of not being aware of them playing out.

I always start experiencing trickles of the upcoming energies before they set in fully and I can see how come this Fall, pretty much exactly after Fall Equinox, I’ll be on a different trajectory.

This also falls perfectly with my sweet and dear Laura coming to spend a fun and potent week here at the same time we co-teach and host our “Living a More Magickal Life” workshop event on the Equinox – the official ending for me to this kind of teaching platform in general. It’s not often that we get in-person time together, but when we do it has always put into motion some huge life shifts for both of us and this coming together in a month from now feels like the most potent alchemy potential we’ve created yet.

So, between now and then I am readying everything, we have some other friends visiting, I’m getting fully organized and cleaned out, creating a workable plan to put into action, reviewing my editor’s feedback, tuning in, and beginning research – that way I’m fully ready to go, come end of September, and dive fully into things.

I see Fall and Winter perfectly fitting for nose-to-the-grind action, but in my newly adapted balanced way so as not to repeat my past neurotic tendencies to overwork myself until I “crash-and-burn.” This is why Dave and I have and will continue implementing a new well-being track into our life, while we also focus on other life goals we’re creating foundations for. It will definitely be a busy 6-8 months to get things ready for the next leg of the journey.

This is why I’ve released everything else, as a way of having laser beam focus on the new and yet without any old patterns being brought into that space and reality that is forming.

There is an invitation being extended to us all I feel where a portal of fresh possibilities await.

Have you also increasingly felt drawn away from things and toward completely new ones?

Where might you create more balance in your life so that you can be more present and vibrant to what is calling your heart’s attention?

Sometimes what we think we should be doing is only a choice away from what we could be doing.

If something nudges you there is reason. Whether it directs you into a whole new life journey or supports your journey with new, you will experience invigoration from listening to that subtle voice rather than dismissing it/you.

Thank you for being part of and supporting my journey. I not only support yours equally, but do my best to keep embracing each challenge on my own, as my contribution to the collective.

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