You might notice one of the themes that consistently shows up in my blog posts is that of Nature in one form or another. Whether that’s all the time I spend immersed in outdoor adventures daily, the garden journey I’ve been nurturing, cultivating the simpler ways and more Nature-based living all around, the animals I encounter and their messages, animal communication in general, or of course the journeys with my dearest companion and wisest guide, Astrid, who happens to reside in a rabbit’s body this life – Nature is at the heart of it all.
This theme has also included what I feel is one of the most vital missing pieces, which is that of embodying and knowing your own natural essence and nurturing a return to that basic nature that includes and does not negate or condemn the human body. I’ve spoken often about how increasing time not only spent in Nature, but getting to love and understand the miracle of your body’s awareness and how key it is to reclaim all of your parts (shadow projections, as well) will support becoming a more fully conscious, empowered and integrated human being, not to mention provide so many benefits to your well being all around.
It’s basically, and at the base level, about remembering the nature of who you are. 🌿
The farther we stray from natural awareness and being, the further we lose our humanity.
Nature has been sharing awareness with us for ages, but she speaks in a language only your heart will hear and your instincts will understand.
When your heart is closed or you weigh heavily in mind and thought alone, it will be difficult to ever hear.
Over-thinking can lead to fear and anxiety.
Trusting in your heart and instincts can lead you to harmonious alignment.
You can choose whatever direction you prefer to go in, but the question is, are you really choosing with conscious awareness?
I chose this photo, taken by KC when she was visiting, to go along with the theme of this post because it reflects the essence of what I’m expressing here with me so deeply immersed in Nature and being the nature of me that you almost can’t distinguish where each begins and ends.
This was taken the day I found my faery crown and wore it for the rest of the hike. It becomes part of the tree behind me and all of the branches seem to be reaching into and from my crown, while my foot nearly looks webbed and shifting beneath the water it merges with. I’m feeling right at home in this perfect little nymph haven of the lake and more at home than ever in my body, at this current space and time, by embracing all of the elements within.
But this didn’t happen overnight and the journey still continues. It came with consistent devotion to making that conscious shift. It came with an understanding that the best things I would ever learn, need, or receive would come from listening to and dedicating time for the elements that had long gone neglected. It came from tipping the scales to regain what I lost and spending the majority of my time in Nature, moving my body, being with my body and learning to navigate more by her instincts and what was being reflected to me in the environment – in essence, aligning with natural harmony.
It’s about reclaiming parts we’ve forgotten, letting the ancient knowledge within our DNA whisper louder, and not being afraid to stand our ground like the trees do, despite the weather and terrain – legs rooted to the navel of Earth’s wisdom while crown and hands open to our vast Cosmic origins.
This continues to be my journey, but it has made all the difference and I believe is what will continue to make a bigger difference in terms of the dynamics playing out.
It’s where I remain devoted both in personal integration and in shared relationship to Nature all around me.
And I’m grateful for my garden that is part of this journey of integrated embodiment and conscious awareness. It continues to evolve, much as I do and I am grateful for the growing relationship and understanding I get to nurture through that.
This includes the intimate knowing of every plant and flower and every creature great and small.
They are me and I am them.
Here are some looks at current garden reflections.
As you can see the wildflowers continue to bloom in radiant succession.
Depending on the angle and lighting it all takes on a whole new perspective and mini world, which I LOVE!
And then there’s the new field of beauties on the rise.
I’m in love with the little carpet of mini wildflowers on the side yard that I seeded this year.
Look at how they’re reaching happily for the Sun and by Autumn’s end will be quite something, with next year matching my garden. Yay!
This new area, I only just started to work with, has truly captured my heart.
Listening to and working with the wild that was already there and adding in some more magick in between is really beginning to explode with joy and become what I had hoped – a faery wonderland!
I love the blend of raw and imagined merging together.
Look at that glow, lighting up the flower faeries, as they share their joy and life essence. I love captures like these that reflect the experience I have when I’m out in the garden alone. There is so much enchantment here!
And I love the surprises that bloom everywhere in between.
I’ll save garden yummies and plant nanny updates for another post, but everything’s doing really well and Astrid continues to enjoy delicious harvests, while I enjoy adding to my dried collection of delicacies for the faery kitchen.
And here are a few of the forest friends I get to play with daily.
This chubby chipmunk is much larger than any other around here and he took it upon himself to make a delicacy out of my incredible hybrid lilies, taking down a couple of the stalks on his own to eat the petals. This was my huge plant that had grown over 56 inches – likely was at 58 when I removed the tops of the last stalks he bent, to enjoy the flowers he left behind, indoors. This hybrid kind is obviously not toxic, as he’s totally fine and I still see him around long after he’s eaten quite a few lily petals.
Dave actually came down to my office and we watched together as he climbed up the stalks like a tree and sat there enjoying his meal while other little ones were running and flying about.
He said, “wow, it’s like a nature show down here.” I said, “yes, everyday there’s something new happening and much to-do about everything.” The perfect mirror and world for Astrid and me.
The other joy has been seeing Strawberry around so much, nearly every day now. She looks really healthy, despite not having all of her fur anymore. Her face and eyes reflect so much wisdom when I see and talk to her and they speak to quite the being who resides inside. She is one of the elders here and I cherish her presence so much. It’s no surprise she found her way to me and inside Wonderland with Astrid and me when I took care of her.
I noticed that she had been trying to remove these towels we had under some things on the deck for protection from scratching it, tearing holes little by little in them, but making slow progress at removing any part of them.
I realized she wanted to have the towels for her nest – likely to stay warm at night and the upcoming Autumn and Winter seasons. So, I decided to put out a small little white towel where she was pulling at the others. The next morning it was gone. I recently put out two more small pink ones for her and she did in fact come back for one of them. I believe she’ll be returning for the other soon and that all makes me happy. I envision her cuddled up in them for a long Winter’s nap.
You may recall that I took care of her and got her cleaned up and nurtured when she needed it (after getting stuck in the epoxy in our garage) and now I’m helping to care for her again, out in the wild.
It was human-made things that damaged her fur in the first place and so it will be by human hands that help and a human heart that listens to her needs. In this way I feel we are sharing a conscious, symbiotic relationship now. We are connected for life.
I then also bring that beautiful, wild, and sacred Nature essence inside, surrounding myself with reminders of the cycles of life, the divine connection that is shared with all, the wisdom within everything, and the sacredness of all things and parts of who I am.
You may recall the nest mobile I started creating a few years ago. Well, it’s certainly grown!
I have many a bird, wasp, and bee hive nest (parts and wholes) adorning this tree of life indoors that I’ve created from all the beautiful little homes of amazing sacred geometry and architectural genius I found on the ground and brought home to cherish.
And most recently, we finally put up the powerful staff I made for the Autumn Equinox day retreat gathering a few years back that Laura and I hosted here, which includes some of the most potent Nature adornments I’ve found over the years.
It reminds me of one I used to have from many lives and Moons ago.
The birthing of this creation was quite the undertaking, as I strung everything together with great intention, piece-by-piece. My huge way of honoring the sacredness within all of life and reclaiming these wild, raw, primitive and ancient parts of my and Earth’s lineage.
It is quite the power piece and the way we hung it makes it easy to remove and replace when ever I want to use it in sacred ritual.
I’ve wanted to put it up, but we just never got around to it. Then, it naturally aligned for it going up on the potent New Moon in Cancer we had on the 9th of July.
I didn’t plan it, but it was perfect and it activated a lot of things once it was finally in place anchoring energies.
And I also bring Nature’s wisdom and gifts through channeled creations I’m inspired to make and sometimes offer over the years.
Most recently it was the Cosmic Curiosity Chests that called to me. As you might recall my sharing, they “invite you to engage parts of yourself more consciously and consistently, to explore, be curious about, or open a dialogue or connection with parts of yourself through the invitation of each spirit energy they embody. In this way they activate an initiation of sorts into a Cosmic dance for you to merge into your human experience so that the two become One. The magickal then is integrated into your daily life as a natural ritual, rather than being separate. This is one of those ways to live the magick.”
This also reminds you not to forget any of your parts, and so I included gifts from Mother Terra herself within each ritual bundle to reflect the nature of you.
It’s been an honor to see each of them off to their cocreators. More than half have journeyed to their heart homes and I look forward to seeing where the last 5 – Cosmic Woodland Faery, Earth Guardian, Blossom, Mermaid, and Dream Weaver – will fly off to.
You know I enjoy wrapping and shipping them off, just as much as I do creating them.
I have some upcoming new sacred Nature creations I’m going to be working on for our home in the coming weeks, too – something I’ve also long been wanting to create – and there’s potential I may open up to creating custom orders if they speak to you too.
It is so important to me that Nature is a daily part of the experience, as I truly believe that if we desire answers, we’ll receive them in conscious communion with Her as a mirror to know ourselves, and we’ll gain greater clarity for the pivotally crucial choices life is presenting to us right now.
Happy August to everyone! May this be a month for gentle transformations that bring even greater conscious awareness.
Here are some beautiful August fields from yesterday’s hike down to the lake.
Everything was so lovely and full of life – a perfect reflection for Lughnasadh celebrations.
Even the one remaining duckling from the mallard couple we see at the pond had grown, and we were happy this little one had made it.
I did bury a tiny bird I found along our hike and discovered some lizard skin in my planters that had been shed.
Nature demonstrates with grace, how life goes on and the wheels continue to turn.
Today’s Strawberry Capricorn Full Moon is the last Supermoon in the cycle of three for 2021. The Moon symbolizes your inner emotional world and when she’s full she helps to illuminate the truth for you to see about yourself and your relationship to everything outside of yourself. Know your worth and don’t be afraid to ask for what you deserve. This is a great time to confront the things you have been avoiding or aren’t seeing in all areas of your life. Responsible Capricorn supports a stronger and more cultivated foundation (spiritual roots) to your life expression/purpose and helps you to solidify and identify your priorities and values in productive and balanced ways.
Today felt like the aligned time to share about my experience away last week on silent retreat, as one of the themes that popped up for me during it was that of “devotional living,” which feels Capricorn in essence.
I also wanted to allow the energies to root and integrate more, as in reflection, I can see how much has taken place in a short period that could seem subtle from the outside and yet is quite profound.
That said, I do in fact feel and am experiencing a very profound new reality, in contrast to subtle reality shifts of the past from transformative periods, personally and collectively. Perhaps that might be your experience too.
As always, I am prompted to share things as my vulnerable, transparent part of the collective thread because of the constant confirmations of how this kind of connecting is valuable on layers far greater than meets the eye.
I wasn’t sure how much, or what if anything I was going to share both in words or photos from these deep experiences the last couple of weeks, but as always I listen to what nudges me and support that guidance having purpose and meaning beyond even what I might comprehend.
I’d like to back up to the days right before our going away and then share a summary of the journey that unfolded and continued through Summer Solstice, as it feels like a bookending full cycle took place. And with the previous May 26th’s Sagittarius Full Super Blood and Flower Moon Total Lunar Eclipse head activation, it’s also been a full cycle from one Full Moon to the next of clear anchoring that has taken place of the new from that initiation.
Shifts in consciousness are what take us into the new dimensional realms. What I’ve experienced and heard from others, since May 26th, is confirmation that the actualization of a big shift that’s been in motion has anchored and that the new reality is here and now for walking through new doorways of change and embodiment. Even if we don’t see things yet manifesting on all fronts of reality, the architecture is in place and things are in fact different depending on the person and perspective you’re viewing it from. For me personally, this has ignited the next phase and second half of my life in quite a leap – however long that might physically be.
Recent transformations have set things in motion in new directions and opened the door for a future version of me to step in that has been working behind the scenes until now. This may be hard to comprehend, but there’s definitely been a timeline jump and confirmation of upgrade future self that stepped in since May 26th’s Full Moon Eclipse and what I invited in then. Much the same way that I left an old me in a river up in Canada on our Magick Bus adventure and a future self walked in without an actual physical death needing to take place, once again a different part of my multi-dimensional self has walked in. And so, while still me and my essence, I’m a new version of me that has yet to walk in body this Earth life. There have also been quite a few revelations and confirming messages, of which some came through in the automatic writing I shared in the Solstice post that channeled through while I was away in silence.
After the combination of Cosmic energies, all of the solar flares, eclipses, longest galactic-sourced gamma-ray burst emitted, and Earth reflections like droughts, earthquakes, and other catastrophes, including huge human divide, we also feel a bit of a quiet pause and sense of doorways opening now. And although that sense of relief may feel tempting to sprint out and yell “yippee!” this time is more opportune to reflect and listen for inner direction on how truly you want to be stepping into the new reality in a whole new way that takes into account the wisdom gleaned over the last year and a half of time inside.
The light always finds us even in the darkest recesses of experiences we find ourselves journeying through.
Intensities are turning into gentleness more and more, but it’s still to your benefit to pause with greater awareness before bolting forth into things.
I personally felt a completely different reality anchored after I became adamant about “no more.” I’ve since experienced everything and everyone changing around me too, and where I felt such harsh division, this has been replaced by more softened and promising interactions.
Although I’ve shared through blogs some of the recent unfoldings, I’ve been a bit more quiet overall and taking that pause before each major share in order to both fully integrate the energies and to also share them with greater conscious awareness of how best to weave the key codes into the messages.
The new has supported a deepening of alignment into the expression of why I felt called to be here in this part of Earth history we are writing together. Maybe some of you feel similarly.
Or, perhaps my/our deepening alignment has helped support the new. Or both.
In any event, cosmic transparency, greater path alignment, a timeline jump, and a new version me without need for harsh NDE (near death experience) necessary, has been the daily experience since.
On the Thursday, June 10th Gemini New Moon Solar Eclipse there was the sense of a big energy recalibration and some interesting clicks happening that day, although the energy felt super soft in contrast to May 26th’s Eclipse. I also received a text from a dear friend who asked if I was open to being present to help support her and her soulmate in horse body through his transition that was going to take place the next morning. I immediately knew the importance of this event so beautifully navigated by such a masterful soul in horse body and that I was meant to be there.
So, early the morning of Friday, June 11th just a day after the Eclipse, but still in the prime and potent portal of its energy that is experienced for months, I made my way to physically be present for this. I assisted my own animal companions in person, as well as energetically assisted other people’s animal companions from afar in their transitions, but this was the first time for me doing so in person for one other than my own.
Being a huge black horse – such a massive, mystical, and powerful figure – made the experience even more profound.
And the fact that it was a horse – my favorite kind of horse that I identify with as well – given my life-long connection with them since I was a little girl and my past life connections with them and as them, was very profound and full circle of the life transition I was experiencing from this latest shift. It also felt like a major collective reflection. I’ve written about my horse connection before, so for now I’ll just say that not only did they help me through my childhood sensitivity challenges that led to an inability to eat every night without being hand-fed by my mom around 10-13 years of age and stomach aches every night that were only appeased by inviting horses into my visions and dreams (when I knew nothing of meditation at the time), alongside my mom comforting me through the night, but they also were connected to my way of life shifting from a work and race horse-driven conditioning to a wild and free mustang.
Without going into the personal details of the experience that are not mine to share, I’ll just say that it was hugely profound in both inner and outer experience to hold the space for this incredible being and his beloved soulmate, which literally manifested in seen ways. It was my path to act as a bridge to support peaceful journeying from this world to the next and I also took photos that day for my friend to have, which revealed incredible rainbow light across both of them, an amazing energy orb with a cross in it within his massive shadow, other energies, a rabbit that showed up and stayed the entire time to reflect that my dear ones I asked to assist from the other side were there to guide him home and assist me, and a physical experience I had right when he transitioned that I’ll also never forget that reflected the shift was real – the shift had anchored.
When this soul transitioned I was standing back a bit to be out of the way, but still in the space and suddenly I saw with my physical eyes everything wave out from him. It’s like in movies (think The Matrix) where the reality of the energetic field suddenly is seen and experienced when the veils drop. The field of reality before me moved in waves all around me like rolling energy and the landscape became fluid. I knew it was real, but blinked several times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things or dizzy, but it continued with everything pulsing in waves that revealed the fluidity of it all around us and of the realms opening and merging, as he moved out, through, and expanded. It was like reality breathing and pulsing and I became part of that breath and pulse. It was both slightly disorienting at first and then completely natural. Usually I see things like this only in dreams, visions, meditations, or blips, but it was profoundly obvious and physically and consciously an awakened, literal experience – the reality of reality and Cosmic and Earth as One.
I expounded a bit more on this experience leading up to the silent retreat, as it feels extremely important, timely, and necessary of the anchored new. It also felt profoundly key right before dropping into silence.
That afternoon, evening, and night I became physically exhausted in a way I haven’t been. It was not surprising given the experience and further recalibration of new energies physically taking root from the other realms that have been separate until now.
The weekend continued in a softened experience, although profound, and it mirrored the gentle transition this soul in horse body also went through. There continued to be Cosmic conversations pervading around me with people that were now on a new level and on the morning before we left on retreat, my very first yellow lily bloomed as a send-off and confirmation. That didn’t feel random at all.
And then we were off.
Thursday, June 14th was an integration day where we spent the first part of the day slowly easing into silence and at 5:05 pm (an unplanned, but perfect time) we commenced. This trip also happened to be right before our one year wedding anniversary, so it became a lovely way for us to deepen in connection and celebrate in a grace filled way. We actually discussed the possibility of this becoming a tradition for us, but definitely wanting to do it more regularly. It was my first fully silent retreat, although I’m silent a lot as it is. 😉 It was Dave’s second, as he went a couple of months earlier on his own since it was something he’d always wanted to do and now had opportunity to do so, being retired.
We decided to stop on our way and do a lovely new hike that took us to some emerald pools along the river.
This, and every hike we did while away, were very serene and always solitary or with limited crossing of anyone else more than once. I found an incredibly beautiful stone and my first feather on this hike, kicking off many gifts and messengers to come in the following days.
We also stopped for a lovely Thai lunch in an outdoor garden sanctuary setting with beautiful lush blooms surrounding us, then set off for our retreat cabin set secluded away from everyone on the edge of the forest with every single room looking out on the trees and night skies.
It was perfection with our cabin being named, “Devotion.”
And after settling in, the silent devotion began, which I found easy and comforting, with everything else becoming louder and more profound in a beautiful way. I wasn’t sure what the days following would look and feel like, as I didn’t go with an agenda or plan. I just allowed the energy to guide me and what I noticed is that my journey with this was very different than Dave’s.
I found that rather than a schedule of meditation in any certain vein, I was being shown that this experience would be more organic. After first sitting in meditation to see what would happen, I discovered that the energy didn’t want this to be any strict practice, but to be about receiving and giving to myself. So, it became a very self-nurturing time where I had nothing on the agenda at all to do but rest, be, receive, let go, and ground into the new – all about integrating the initiations and upgrades that was very much needed.
I found myself several times a day laying down by the window overlooking the forest by day and stars by night, giving self-Reiki, which was an act of surrender and allowing the Universal Life Force, and much more, to come through. I also just looked out the window, allowed visions and messages to channel, did an automatic writing, wrote down inspirations, and also began a new flow of exercise I thoroughly enjoyed and plan to continue to implement with my nature activities we already do.
This involved going out amidst the trees just outside the cabin in the forest and doing a combination of movement – similar to Qigong (a couple movements I remember from it), but mostly just my own inspired flow exercises with isometric exercises I used to do to create a whole fluid, balanced, and grounded experience for about a half an hour.
It was very invigorating, opening, and anchoring. I would choose a particular place and then eventually moved around the perimeter of the cabin creating an energetic grid with my anchoring.
Each night, Dave and I would sit out on the deck under the stars and do our own meditative Cosmic connecting and sit in silence to receive. On the first night subtle lights would move and disappear across the stars and gentle noises would move in the trees and bushes on the breeze. Another night involved what appeared as a shooting star, but what in fact it was might be another story.
On that first evening before our starry time under the tree tops, we explored the garden grounds and the first visitor appeared – a giant bull frog at the edge of the koi pond.
That first night I also had another of my bear dreams – yes that themed saga is ongoing and always at precisely potent times. This night the dream involved four bears. All of this having meaning for me, including integration of what I felt had come through from everything recently for my individual journey. (Oh wow! As I just wrote that the clock right now says 4:44 – UH HUH!)
That concluded our first day, and every morning we’d spend a couple of hours doing our own processes, concluding with a big huge bowl of fresh fruit and vegan scones or croissants and coffee out on the deck, followed by more morning integrations, my flow movements, and then onto lunch provided for us.
Then we’d head out on a daily hike Dave had lined up for us, pre-trip. Everything always in silence, although the energy was tangible and understood, even in the midst of no verbal communication.
Each hike always involved forest and water – river and reservoir lake – and always a ton of butterfly varieties floating around and down the trails along with us.
This second day, 6/15, had another beautiful visitor. After lunch, I was walking back to the car and my eye caught a little garden sign hidden behind the branch of a bush.
As soon as I saw it, I knew Joy was with us, which made sense since the Summer Solstice of 6/21, five years ago, was when she passed and my sweet soul family always shows up for me around their special days and portals. This was confirmed when we were driving to our hike and suddenly a large jack rabbit jumped out on the dirt road ahead of us.
She stopped to look at us and then slowly made her way down the road. She would stop and wait to see that we were following, then continued.
She went off to the side and waited under a bush, then came back down and beckoned us to follow her some more. This went on for about a half a mile until finally she disappeared in the side forest.
I knew right away, after seeing the sign and thinking of Joy, that this was her way of making an official appearance. When I said this again to Dave, who was equally excited and curious by the way this jack rabbit wanted us to follow her and not at all concerned about running away and hiding, I noticed the car clock said 1:11 on it – and therefore confirming Joy had slipped through worlds to see us.
Each evening after our last afternoon snack time outdoors and some down time, we’d take another walk around the grounds before more resting, meditative, nurturing and starry night connecting time.
Then on the morning of 6/16 at about 9:30 am it was fox that made an appearance.
We’ve had encounters with black, red, and now gray fox – all at very integral time periods in our life when things were shifting hugely. This time was no exception and the fact I was standing right at the window looking when she passed by, was no mere coincidence.
While gray foxes are the most common of foxes, they are elusive and rare to spot in the wild, especially because they are primarily nocturnal.
It’s interesting that all of the foxes we’ve seen have been in daylight hours, as the black fox was in the late afternoon, the red fox was in the afternoon, and now this gray beauty was edging into the later part of the morning.
She had a dark stripe down her huge bushy long tail.
A shapeshifter fox is a powerful guide to help you navigate your spiritual journey and to bridge the Earth and spirit worlds.
The messengers continued this day with my finding the sweetest and most intricate bird’s nest I’ve ever seen. It was incredibly beautiful and like a complex weaving of the Cosmic tapestry. I don’t think the photos do it any justice at all.
It was miniature and perfect, made out of the finest of threaded nature and one golden thread that appeared to be from humans woven into it and then lined with soft down feathers.
It’s now part of my nest mobile in our bedroom, which has grown into quite the work of nature art full of beautiful nests and portions of nests/hives from a variety of birds, wasps and bees.
Then deer appeared, reminding me somewhat of the cosmic ones I saw in Montana after Joy’s passing, as we headed on our next hike of the journey and the evening ended with a very curious raccoon who seemed to want to talk with us, making himself very known as he stood up on his feet to mirror us.
On that evening’s hike I decided to silently run, twirl and dance my way through the giant manzanita forest portal. With unspoken acknowledgment, Dave captured the moments that moved more ethereally in the twilight hours than photos we’d taken before for the Solstice spell I shared previously.
I then captured Dave, as he walked ahead of me down the path and connected with the incredible manzanita tree spirits.
I noted that the moon was sitting directly above the manzanita grove and upon our return back through the portal, as darkness was approaching, I snapped a few shots.
All of these felt to reflect the dance of light and shadow merging within and as I mentioned in my Solstice blog these photos feel to “visually reveal these sacred energies more literally of greater human embodiment transmuted by embrace of light and shadow……Faeries walk between worlds and dimensions, as Cosmic embodiments. It’s time for these worlds to merge and not be separated, just as it’s time for all of us to merge through the heart and overcome conditioned divisions on all fronts of life experience on Earth.”
Then, the confirmation of this alchemy appeared as bats galore circled around – too tiny and fast to capture on camera, although I did take a video of the giant manzanita forest portal, while I journeyed through it, where you can see them zipping by near the end. The video is too challenging to upload here, but I hope you do enjoy the photo montage to accompany my storyline of events.
I shared some highlights and key points and messengers that paint the overall energy of things. I find that a lot of times particular themes, animal spirit guides, and experiences are mirrored by what others message me about after they read these shares, and act as collective confirmations.
The rest of what unfolded is more personal and continues to evolve as the next steps I’m being guided to take. But in totality, it all spoke to me of a deeper, devotional way of living with greater clarity on my next focal points that will take shape shortly.
I mentioned finding my first feather on day one of this journey, but each day had a new feather or two for me as well. In all, I had a small collection of all different feathers and some beautiful treasures that now are in my garden, my office, and on the mobile I mentioned.
I’m especially grateful for the three large pieces of giant manzanita trunks I was gifted from the grounds where we stayed. They have to do fire clearing over time and these three beauties I got to take home.
For now, they line the deck by the rock garden outside my office and I just love their energy.
I’ve had an extra resonance with manzanitas recently, as you remember my making manzanita blossom jelly and syrup this year, and now to be with these giant manzanita beings felt like these spirits are strongly guiding and protecting me along the new path.
We stopped to do another hike on the way home on 6/17 and upon arrival I found that more yellow lilies had bloomed, now to be accompanied by my first dark red lilies, too, as a welcome home. In fact, my whole garden had evolved and bloomed some more, but I’ll save a garden update for an upcoming post.
Friday 6/18, the next full day back, we enjoyed a hike from the house to enjoy lunch and outdoor music. And on this hike we encountered falcon greeting us back. This was a first very up close and potent encounter with falcon we’ve had. The falcon was sitting on a branch to our right not far from the trail and just looked at us without moving for 20 or 30 seconds. He was very near and we could see all the details of his beautiful feathers and clear eyes. He then took off to the left and we continued on hiking. This ignited Egyptian memories and reflections of my two journeys there back in 2007. I was thinking about particular incidences where Horus, the Falcon God, had showed up for me and other pivotal things that were ignited during those trips that have come full circle now. It also reminded me of the message I received while away about things I was being shown to offer to others soon – one directly connected to falcon.
Then, as if to confirm my thoughts, the falcon appeared again on a branch to our left this time. He had gone ahead on the path and awaited us. The path was dense and mysterious, and not having heard him flying or seen his shadow above, made it more mysterious that he suddenly was there again. Once we saw him and I told Dave about what I’d been thinking about and that he seemed to be confirming my thoughts, he then took off and didn’t return.
When we returned home Dave called me to say that our beautiful coyote friend had just passed again by his office.
Sunday, June 20th was then our Summer Solstice anniversary and we were called to do one of our favorite hikes that we now call our anniversary hike given we’ve been drawn to it for celebrating.
I noted how we’d gone on this hike for our 11 year anniversary of first dating two years ago, for the day after our wedding one year ago, and now for our one year wedding anniversary this year.
I made us a Solstice cake to celebrate, which was a vegan dark chocolate cake frosted in vanilla that I then created a simple flower and fruit mandala on. I used strawberries, blueberries, and dried sunflower and rose petals and lavender that I harvested from my garden last year to add sweet faery touches.
Later that afternoon another full circle experience hit home really hard with a mixed bag of emotions that went from pain to release. I went out into the garden that evening, after returning from our hike, to water and check on all the plant babies. There I discovered a sweet little chipmunk who had transitioned. She was not there earlier and she still looked so fresh, as if just asleep, so I knew it had taken place recently that day.
I don’t want to go into details of her surmise and the direct connections to my Nestor, Cosmo, and Joy, but the reflections were too close for comfort to ignore. The only solace I took was in seeing how beautiful and peaceful she looked and how masterfully this dear soul in chipmunk body had navigated her transition on the Solstice portal, just as the powerful horse I assisted did in the Eclipse window, and each of my dear animal companions had chosen portal days – especially mirroring Joy who had journeyed on the Solstice of five years ago.
Tears flowed, as I sat holding the chipmunk in my hands for quite some time, sending lots of energy to her time of passing for peace and ease with her journeying. I listened for the messages and received, once again. I felt as if she was still alive and might sit up and open her eyes to look at me, as I gently caressed her head and body and reflected on all that had taken place these last weeks and how poignant this was as remembrance of Joy choosing Solstice as her day of returning to the stars just as this little one had.
I sat listening to where she wanted to be buried and finally this was the place.
I knew it was the right place because upon digging a hole my hand shovel hit something. I pulled it up and found a perfect heart rock. It became part of the burial stone mandala I created and then placed my very first bubble gum pink rose that had just bloomed atop this sacred ground.
It was also poignant in reflection to what I’ve known of my own journey and how old parts of me had died, only to be replaced by the ones relevant for now.
How Summer Solstice has become such a huge marker in for me of life transitions.
It spoke to a journey’s end and a new one beginning.
It reflected the fragility of life and how every moment is precious and not to be taken for granted.
It sang the song of stars that constantly whisper their calling to my heart.
It confirmed that the new has anchored and the old had retreated in place of a new reality forging its way.
And it’s a deeper and more devotional experience of living from spirit merged through heart into body as One.
We welcome in June today and edge closer to nearly half way through 2021 already. I read this morning how the Earth is spinning at a faster rate than it has in the last 50 years and with the increase in everything, things are actually being sped up even though it feels like dragging your feet in the mud at times.
This is a big month for me personally, with some key things hitting mid-month and a threefold anniversary on the upcoming Summer Solstice, as well as a big life shift birthing that will begin come end of the month I sense, but as you’ll see from Lee’s update, it’s also energetically big for the collective.
I’m no longer surprised when I listen to Lee’s updates about the nearly exact synchronicity of themes and wording used to describe current energies and experiences that I have either just shared in a blog, have come through as messages and revelations in my personal life, or that I was about to share. We are all connected and share the web of energy waves. Whether we’re conscious of that or not, it’s happening and the echoes are confirmations to that unified field.
I think you’ll see what I mean in the upcoming blog I post, which I’ve been piecing together as it channels through over the last few days. There’s a lot involved with it and I’ve been told to take my time with it, as the frequency of anything put out is very key, especially these days.
The rest of what I add here is a summary in either exact or paraphrased words from Lee’s beautiful share, just in case you don’t listen to it.
I’ve added a few photos from recently, of the trail out back in the forest I journey often. They felt like the perfect reflection of June energy emerging and I particularly loved the dance of light and shadow playing together, as well as the rainbow lining the path below.
A rainbow bridge connecting the two in harmony.
Here begins info included in Lee’s share:
None of us are here to do this alone, as he says. “We’re all taking care of our patch of the garden…we’re all a whole group of gardeners creating a very different garden together.” – That felt like an echo to my last blog, The Many Faces of My Garden.
Pressure around restrictions has been felt, but we’re going to start feeling ease and see restrictions crumble faster because of the wave of people gathering together to do this.
Density is being lessened as far as its hold on people, partially because of our exhaustion with it all and being done with it – more people will be breaking out of the chrysalis and cocoon. Heart power is coming back out in a bigger way.
Revelations and things being revealed that have been lied about, the shadow that’s been hidden and misused will continue to come to light in the next few years. Things you thought or were told are going to have a hanged man result in showing you a whole other perspective you had hidden from you.
Lean into balancing yourself while revelation and reckoning continues on for the next few years.
Different beliefs over things is what’s caused war against others. You can still love one another and have different beliefs. This is where we need to focus and be with these feelings to make greater peace with the fact that different realities will be experienced by everyone and different layers of experience will be all around you the next few years. We need to reckon with how we feel and react, as that is going to play a huge part in it.
Most of you will be here now to birth the new, not to clean up or battle the old world. You need to create and have a creative practice in some way even if just behind closed doors.
Emergence of higher mind and clarity is on the rise around what you do and don’t resonate with and then taking action on that clarity. June presents support for visionary ideas on new things this month and activating forward direction and momentum.
Energy spikes will be lively and on the rise collectively with heightened experiencing. Lee recommends waiting out the spikes before rearranging your life. The amplified energy can feel like a super power in the moment, but let it settle so you have greater clarity from a more peaceful space where things will be smoother and cleaner when you do take action. Your body is slower than your soul to move, so let things settle and integrate, while you tend to your inner garden and allow a more natural mergence to flow.
Deep internal healing is leading to group awakening. More tenderness and vulnerability is awakening within people, taking us away from autopilot and robotic experiencing. It’s like relearning a whole new way of being like fresh curious children emerging from the cocoon womb.
Unification is on the rise even though we see and experience division. The awareness of feeling of the division indicates the process of change is in motion for group awakening.
The integration is happening from the inside out and life reviewing may be more prevalent right now to support new life directions. Upgrades will continue to be presented, so don’t be desperate to take the first offering.
Many of these themes I’ll be expounding on in my own personal share soon. But for now, here’s Lee:
Waking up to Jack Frost’s sneak appearance heralded an interlude blog post before returning to the shares lined up in my intuitive queue. 😉
I’ve continued to experience strange, but mysteriously beautiful and odd things, as well as powerful messengers, findings, and even dreamscapes – both my own and of me appearing in other people’s dreams they share with me.
Coyote continues to cross my path – she just did again two days ago – I found another Algiz Rune in the forest (below), discovered nearly half of a transitioned female mallard duck, and held space for my dear Cosmo, whose birthday it just was four days ago.
Finding the female mallard came right after seeing mallards swimming in the pond with only one duckling. The others may not have made it, but then seeing the one female dead was like a rebirth cycle right before my eyes.
Bones and transitioned animals always seem to find me amongst other discoveries. It appears to be my role as a bridge to also witness and hold space for the natural cycles. I honor every one I find in their own way, bury, do energy work, and receive the messages.
Finding the female mallard also spoke to my own shifts and rebirthing I feel underway, although the form is unknown as to what will unfold.
The enchanted and mystical sightings of late on hiking trails hold promise that whatever does, will be in divine flow. In these times, having these supportive messages has brought much needed comfort.
There’s a sacred feminine aspect transmuting across the collective. It is this depth I’ve been navigating recently as to its merging with the new.
The winds of change indeed keep blowing and in fact we have Spring snow blanketing everything today. It came in late yesterday and continues on as I write this. We’re at about five or six inches where we are and more up at the mountain tops.
So, yes, just as the blooms begin to pop along the trails here, a Spring snow storm blows in. Continuing in the theme of “expect the unexpected” these beauties you see in all the photos from yesterday, above and below, are under a little snow blanket today that tucked them in last night.
The weather shifted mid-hike yesterday and as we climbed up the trail with full lake view the whole way, we watched as the clouds started to engulf the north end of the lake and edge toward us. On our descent, the warm sunshine turned to brisk wind and clouds.
There were so many beauties starting to emerge, including the very first wild irises, and to think this is just the beginning though is incredible, as there will be so many wildflowers everywhere in all varieties from miniature for only faery eyes to see, to large and center stage for all eyes to gaze upon.
Indeed you know I stop to smell all the flowers and marvel at their beauty. Their time in the sunlight is fleeting so I embrace every moment I have to experience them when I can. You never know what’s coming next and the time you’ll have to enjoy something. “Do it now” is my way of living life fully.
A Spring snow blanket now casts its wand of enchantment everywhere and actually feels so perfect for what I’m experiencing within, as the waves of intensities and softness ebb and flow. Cocooning in reflection and transformative incubation is where I find myself still, so it doesn’t surprise me that Jack Frost is still sneaking about. In fact, I find him comforting.
That’s also mountain life for you, as if you choose to live in the mountains of any region, nature and weather patterns are ever-changing, moment-to-moment. That’s the beauty of why we live here and personally I have found every change to be consistent with my inner world. Perhaps it is for others, too, even if they choose not to embrace it.
But the element of surprising changes is also reflective of the unpredictability of these times and we can either fight or flow with – the latter being more like Mother Earth.
There’s a constant cycling of death and rebirth, mourning and renewal happening, but with everything speeding up, it all seems as though it’s intensified more than usual. I continue to hear of the loss of loved ones, including animal companions, everywhere and even if one is not experiencing these literal physical losses it may come in the form of symbolic transitions within certain areas of our lives or certain aspects of our individuality and human expression.
Many souls are not meant for the new frequencies coming in and others are able to support the new frequencies far better from off-planet. And even their transition itself aids the shifts in motion, as everything carries an energy signature and key codes that are connected to the whole continuum of what is in momentum.
A lot of transitions continue as the Earth collective recalibrates and everyone decides, on a soul level and within their divine contracts, where their role is most useful. If we only identify as human, this can all be confusing and devastating. When we begin to soften our scope into curious exploration of more than just these physical bodies, we start to understand a bigger picture at hand.
We are mourning and celebrating every moment.
Having experienced the worst loss in my life has helped prepare me for every loss that’s come after and helped me transmute them as the gifts, rather than punishments, that they in fact are. That doesn’t mean our human hearts don’t feel pain, but every feeling is a portal to The Great Mystery.
As I ride another wave of complex and contrasting energies, I see that we’re in the doorway of the next Lunar cycle and so everything I’ve been seeing around me and feeling within doesn’t feel out of sorts.
I’ve always been extra connected to Earth and her cycles – in fact since I was young, I’ve actually seen how I’m tied into her expressions including earthquakes and shifting weather patterns. Interestingly, we’ve felt quite a few earthquakes over the last month or so that have taken place on the California side. We live on the Nevada side, but these recent shakes have echoed inner shifts and my own “letting off steam” during processing. We actually had never really ever felt any rocking and rolling while living here in the years now, or previously. And suddenly 4 to 5 rumbles have rolled in closer proximity and I found it reminiscent of years ago when I would have something huge change in my life or an epiphany happen and boom!
But like the blossoms that have emerged, I have in fact felt a softening of the rough edges to collective energies I’m transmuting. I am also taking steps to amp up my energetic boundaries, do some intentional personal spell castings of my own, and getting my hands in another faery kitchen alchemy creation from yesterday’s gorgeous manzanita harvest – the last of the season.
I don’t know what it is about these blossoms, but they really touch my heart and feel like the perfect ingredients needed right now. I managed to harvest eighteen cups this time of the sweetest little faery blossoms that tickle my heart. And as the snow falls today, I’ll be cooking up batches of delight with them.
With a heart full of gratitude, I thank the Elementals of the land for their gifts and blessings. All I want to do these days is immerse in the richness of Earth all around me. Thank goodness for the bounty of nature we live in. There is nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for.
There’s been a plethora of enchanted and mysterious little finds, including a bunch of portals and vortex areas like these:
I’ve definitely been anchoring more into my inner Forest Witch lately.
Finding this incredible giant tree root creating a witchy throne portal full of deep mystery and powerful energy, was just the perfect activation.
This coming Wednesday the 26th ignites the Sagittarius Super Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse – this Full Moon is also known as the Flower Moon (synchronous to all the wildflowers in bloom right now) and will undoubtedly continue to inspire a plethora of blossoming transformation in our lives.
It’s a time to be explorative and adventurous, add variety – the spice of life to our lives, communicate with clarity, be open to possibilities and options beyond your limited scope, stay open minded in general, release attachments to anything rigid and that blocks you to your wholeness, and embrace the potential for emotional cleansing that leads to renewal.
Full Moons are a time for taking stock of all you DO have to be grateful for and to be extra mindful of all that you complain about day-to-day and moment-to-moment.
How might you refocus that attitude to be more effective in actually funneling energy toward change, rather than constantly spinning a web of negativity and limited perspective? Everything that bothers you holds the alchemy needed to free you.
Look at what needs a little clean up in your life and pluck things out so you can recreate more with conscious intention.
Try to recognize the good in your life and all the blessings around you, including the people around you who despite any perceived shortcomings have their own challenges they face relative to their life path, which we have no idea about since we’re only here living out our own – and may not even really connect the dots to all of that ourselves.
This is a time to reflect and then plant literal and symbolic seeds, then water them with more true, unconditional and compassionate love.
While robin mom and dad sing sweet calls to each other from the railing just under their new nest in the eave of our front door, coyote continues to cross my path. It appears to be the same coyote, as I recognize the beautiful thick creamy coat she has and those pointy ears and bushy tail. This is about the fourth time recently she pays me a call telling me to “expect the unexpected” and remember that all and yet nothing is sacred within The Great Mystery. This shape-shifting both great and foolish one sings of illumination by way of seeing the humor in things and remembering primal connections.
A neighbor had recently pointed out where a coyote den is for one of the packs in the area – one of the large, sacred stone outcroppings we have in the forest. It just so happens to be a two minute walk across the forest, in direct line to the side of our house. No wonder we hear them howling so loudly. It’s such an eerily beautiful and mysterious call that awakens an ancient connection within.
It seems to be in alignment with that feeling of stripping away more and more layers and being both more vulnerable and stronger in the process. Likely why I have been receiving the contrasting messengers that embody each of these, separately or in unison.
There’s a desire to shed skin and be in silence…almost embryotic in the moist, enriched darkness, while things swirl all around me.
Meanwhile the wild essence of things call to me, like the primal howl of coyote. I’ve been ever-more drawn to all the wild flowers and everything found in the nooks and crannies of the forest. I’ve been yearning to create, do, and move things with my hands and having nostalgic memories of life simplicity and my days in the animal and elemental realms.
Just two days ago this led me to make some manzanita blossom jelly in the faery kitchen. It was my first time making this from the prolific blooms on our our wild manzanita bushes surrounding the house.
It felt so good to forage gingerly for these blossoms, taking my time to hand pick with conscious intention and connection to only what called that spread evenly so as not to remove more than any one bush wanted to give so that the pollinators still have plenty to enjoy.
I only brought home enough to make two jars full and so enjoyed getting my hands into the process, thanking each little blossom for their gorgeous juice.
I documented the process because it was so pretty and felt called to add a little infusion of lavender because I love creating intuitive faery blends. I was pleased with the result, but got ideas for little changes if I end up making it again sometime, including a syrup. The fragrance and taste is subtle, but lovely, and feels connected with the heart chakra energy that is so lit up as vital these days.
The sweet yet wild essence feels aligned with that depth of primal sacredness I’m venturing through. The two being perfect, complimentary ingredients to one another as part of that personal alchemy I mentioned in my last post I’m needing to drop into and create.
Synchronously, yesterday we got to enjoy a cloudy, drizzly Spring day in the middle of sunny, Summer-like beach days we’ve been experiencing.
We were unsure of what hike we wanted to do, but let our hearts do the guiding. We ended up at a new, off-the-beaten track trail we’ve never done that wasn’t too far from our house – maybe eight minutes drive. Our eyes spotted it rather than a map.
And between the cloudy, darker skies and being on our own, it ended up being the perfect immersion for the current navigated energies.
I called it a “deep forest” day.
Dave said it was the perfect trail and day for something “supernatural” to appear. (No joke, Astrid just gave a loud, single thump as I’m writing this part and is on high alert).
We followed the softened trail into thicker forest that brought us upon old remains of likely when settlers, miners, or tree loggers were in the area, including rusted tins and metal parts, and remains of old pathways and small dwellings.
The trail led us along a creek to a small, extremely enchanted and mysterious little waterfall area that Dave said reminded him of a small grotto.
The energy here touched a chord with my inner nymph and sybil energy. Perhaps an ancient song and vision may spark from this journey.
The trail didn’t go much further than crossing over it to another old remains area, and upon circling back I then found what you see in the photos below, in the order you see them in.
The second, smaller whitish silver Algiz came after I showed Dave the first, larger one and started to share about some of its meanings, including how its name literally means Elk and how the White Elk was a Norse symbol of divine protection and blessings.
To make their appearance more “supernatural” for Dave’s sake 😉 I had been connecting with the devas and elementals of this area upon entering and asking for some specific signs and help with things I continue reflecting upon, as well as asking for permission in passing through in harmony.
This is the Algiz Rune in perfect form – one of the Runes I wear on my skin. This particular one is part of the Runic coding that lines the spine of my dragon tattoo on my left arm, as you can see.
If you look up the Algiz Rune, you’ll see how perfect this sign was for some of what I mentioned.
It was also perfect for what I did not mention.
On our return back on the same trail we saw a forking trail going off in another direction that we followed until its end at some stone outcroppings.
Here we saw this tree portal, quite the stone outcropping fortress across the way with two window portals at the top right, and a perfect altar creating a heart shape, rabbit ears, chalice, or even a slight version of Algiz again? Even the top of the tree portal was in the shape of Algiz. Hmmmm! Curiouser and Curiouser.
Seeing the altar mirrored a vision I had received several days ago about a space I’m to create.
The days and energy have been an immersion into the sacred and wild and even as I’ve been redecorating my office, I’ve been called to create a designated altar area that houses the natural wonders and mystical treasures that have found me over time. Right now, I have many scattered throughout in intentional places and some I keep in boxes stored out of sight, but they are to be gathered together and brought “out of the closet”.
Lineages spanning the ages are being called up, integrated, and transmuted.
I feel a calling to anchor more deeply in the ancient and also honor the primordial…the Earth and the Cosmos…the wild heart within that is all powerful.
While messengers continue to whisper “expect the unexpected,” signs also continue to point to support, guidance, and protection assuring me to keep trusting without knowing, no matter what unfolds.
As we walked into the energy of May 11th’s New Moon, it called us to feel into the old and decide what heavy baggage we no longer wanted to carry forth into the new. With the Moon being in Taurus, the energy of what ever our personal goals and intentions were for entering this cycle, there was going to be a need for patience and grounding, since Earthy Taurus moves slowly. There would be a nudge toward more mindfulness and clarity on what you really want under the influence of this energy before actually proceeding, and a lot of persistent patience and trust would be in need of nurturing.
If you experienced a few more challenging, confusing or even darker days leading up to the New Moon, you’re not alone. I did, too, and others I heard from chimed in. It’s not unusual, in general, for that to culminate around this cycle, but there was something more going on that some of us sensitives seemed to notice that was riding along the currents as well.
What ever the themes and energies were that emerged for you, these I feel are sacred messages as to what’s to be alchemized not just for the lunar month, but also the journey at large, ahead.
You may have sensed a shift to more material and physical things to include your body, your home, daily, and simple routines or mundane things and these would both be helpful, as well as inspiring creative changes like redecorating, wearing new colors and styles, experimenting with new foods, and creating beauty all around you.
As creators, walking into the new we want to see, with trust and courage, is what’s needed – not knowing the end result and not knowing how, but moving into it and watching it work out in the moment. When in doubt, we will need to remember to foster words of gentle encouragement to ourselves and look inward to understand our personal alchemy. When feeling discouraged or lost, we may need to call upon support systems – on and/or off Earth, or simply from within.
While we may need to learn to be our own muse at times, there are many muses around us that can be uplifting and inspiring. Anything can be our muse – a person, animal, plant, color, energy, feeling, place, spirit guide, etc. They will carry codes of creation to spark new realities.
In any event, these are the times of the creators – you – and what we’re journeying deeper into is bringing forth personal alchemy in a way that helps make changes in your life more fun and with greater ease, which ultimately has an effect for the collective as well.
If you find yourself at a crossroads and unable to see what’s next, you’re not lost or alone. I find that the further we journey in these rapidly accelerated times, the less we’re going to have foretelling of what’s around the corner. We’re being invited into a different way of experience that leads from the heart’s alignment to spirit.
We’ve oscillated between choosing either mission or love (what’s the most far-reaching responsible and compassionate thing or where our heart tugs) and we are learning to merge these so there is no sacrifice.
It’s not just a human endeavor, but a cosmic journey we’re embarking on and helping to harmonize.
It also feels to be about going beyond black and white to play in the gray – the middle way.
It’s not a clear cut path, as we’re creating it as we go along and many are not only working with us, but awaiting and cheering us on to embody this alchemy.
Two days before the New Moon, I felt a very heavy energy and it felt like it wanted to consume me, discourage, and close the shutters on the light I saw through the window. I found myself being pulled down and ego wanted reason to stay in that, wallow and linger there, and even fully give up. I’d been aware of this energy for a while, but had managed to keep it at bay. Then it charged forth just like that Taurus bull, but with fiery eyes and sharp horns staring straight at me, I had to decide how to dance with him – would I fight the bull, tease and taunt it, run away from the bull, surrender to defeat by the bull, or?
I decided to use love and speak the language of the heart. I stepped into my vibrational frequency in order for personal alchemy to come through.
And this helped open a door that was closed before. It wasn’t the answer, but it created a way for something else to emerge.
From there, I still had the heaviness, even though I “bought” time and thoughts, visions, and feelings swirled within me. Ego still wanted a reason to linger there, but intuition stepped in.
I felt exhausted and betrayed by the energies unfolding. Being in nature always helps, especially being active outdoors, and so I did keep moving the energy and being curious about what it all meant.
Contrary to the ego voice, when I returned home, intuition told me to go out and do my wildflower seeding even though I felt like doing nothing. I immediately started feeling the energy shift and my energy rising, little by little. By the end, I was revitalized both with energy and perspective, and hope returned. This act that my intuition guided me toward, was a literal “seeding” of new intentions and potentials.
I watered them after.
The next day following, I did more outdoor activity and really moved the energy in a bigger way to the point of having conversations out loud with my star family and the Universe, as I hiked and passed through different stages of feelings. Nature was there to absorb and help recharge all that I released, and transmutation took shape.
After that vulnerable and raw release, even more perspective and doors opened, and although I didn’t actually arrive at any particular answer, there was possibility where there hadn’t felt to be any before.
And by the time the day of the New Moon arrived, energies continued to shift and soften and has continued as so.
Still no answers, but more was revealed and I can feel a way even though I don’t know what it is.
And through all of this I’ve had a lot of interesting messengers showing up, which point to my sensing the approach of one of the biggest shifts of my life upcoming.
This is all indicating a call to a new path opening and changes ahead.
And although you see me here, I have actually been more inner these days in order to recalibrate what I’m downloading and how that will look.
I don’t see what new world I’ll land in, but perhaps it’s a new one I’m creating as a creator, which will take some time to manifest.
Or, maybe it’s the world I remember best, calling me back.
Whenever I am on the precipice of major change, hawk shows up as both confirmation things are being supported behind the scenes and as guide to help me with passage between realms. The day after the heaviest of feelings, she flew above and landed atop a barren old tree in the clearing to make sure I saw her and waited for me. As I approached, she looked down and watched me the whole way to her. After I reached her and thanked her, she then took flight above me and circled for about three minutes, close, then farther, and back again. I could see her beautiful feathers clearly.
I’ve been spending a lot of extra time outdoors in receptive and releasing mode because, as I mentioned, it helps me to move energy and listen. If I’m not out on the trails, I’ve been heavily in my garden implementing new ideas, or in extra close communion with Astrid, my cocreator.
In my spare time, I’ve been completing one task at a time, finishing projects, and now stepping into reorganizing and redecorating my office, garage, closet, and kitchen pantry – all feeling right in line with the New Moon energies, as well as the earthing time.
As I shared earlier, the last five days have brought some interesting animal guides to me as messengers. Besides the unusual now THREE bald eagle sightings within less than two weeks, coyote crossed behind our house just as I looked up from the kitchen while cooking, a coyote pack howled close by while I was gardening, followed by an owl hooting in the trees, I found part of a skunk’s tail fur, a large piece of porcupine fur and quills, an old fallen bird’s nest, and
discovered robins have returned and built a new nest at the same place above the eaves of the front door for their family.
There were also four turkey vultures that circled and coasted on the wind in front of us while we sat on a rock cliff overlooking Tahoe – that’s when the third eagle showed up right after being
chased by smaller birds – I found a beautiful dead moth in a box where some of my gardening things were kept in the garage that looked like it had been deliberately preserved, I found a plethora of various bird feathers (one appears to be hawk), including a soft, tender bunch of new goose down feathers from
geese friends that left it behind for me, Dave found a very large black raven feather while I connected with hawk, and six geese followed us, nested near us by the water and waited a few
hours for us to return from our bike ride. I also found a huge spider downstairs that was one of the biggest I’ve seen in a while and the first zebra swallowtail of the season glided toward us on the trail.
Then there’s this gorgeous, huge silvery “gray” squirrel who has been visiting profusely outside my office and in the garden. He’s quite the shape shifter and little wizard.
Transformation is afoot in a very big and contrasting way, and I feel that the only way to navigate it all is to be in and create personal alchemy right now, as that’s all we have at our fingertips.
Knowing our own vibration and how to manage and raise it, becomes vital in these times.
I’m seeing how energies are trying to intervene and even confuse, deter, or try to block the new, but you truly can find another way.
Even if it just opens a door, or buys time, implementing intuitive being and your own inner muse frequency can ignite personal alchemy for change to ignite.
Sometimes you feel like softly closing your petals for a while and other times you bubble with exuberance to open them wide. Where ever you find yourself is perfect and doesn’t change this fact – a flower you are.
I’ve been observing my new tulips daily, watching as they open and close in response to the light and heat. They aren’t diminished by this contraction of tucking in for the night or folding up on a rainy day.
It’s a way to keep their pollen dry and protected so that when they do open to the next morning’s light, they are ready to dance with visiting pollinators and share their sweetness they have enriched to gift.
As promised, today’s Ask Astrid blog is the sequel to Wednesday’s Part 1 that shared the same title. It involves a precognitive dream I had about Astrid a few days after the collective dream involving the wild and prehistoric animals I chronicled in that post. I didn’t realize at first that the same theme ran through it until days later, as I continued interpreting and integrating the message. There were of course personal energies involved, but they reflected the bigger picture moving through me, and as a result, also moving through Astrid since she and I always go through similar things even if in different ways.
I often have some of my clearest and most telepathic or precognitive dreams come through my rabbit companions – on and off Earth – as well as my Russian tortoise, Gaia. I remember one many years back where Nestor let me listen through her ear and I journeyed through it to where my parents lived (far away from me at the time) and heard an exact conversation they were having, which I relayed to them and got confirmed the next day. It was her way of showing me that the telepathic lines were open to receive clear messages through our connection and through telepathy itself.
From then on, the telepathic channels between me and my beloved soul companions who once did, or currently do, inhabit animal bodies have been opened and I receive powerful messages to assist the shift of times through my personal experience of it.
That kind of profound dream experience has happened with Nestor, Joy, Cosmo, Gaia, and of course, now, Astrid.
But this dream I had last week was a psychic one, and what unfolded in waking life ended up having the connection to the theme from the previous one. I didn’t know until a couple of days later that it would turn out to be precognitive, but it did indeed foresee what was going to happen to Astrid and its immediate effects on both of us.
In the dream I saw Astrid after some kind of incident/accident had taken place. I didn’t know what the particulars were of how, but the result was finding her with the tip of one of her paws cut off. I remember feeling horrified about it and although it was cut off, I didn’t see evidence of blood, but could see inside as if it were hollowed out from where it came off. I looked around for a towel to wrap it in and remember having difficulty trying to figure out what vet to take her to for like an hour, as I was stressing over my sweet girl’s condition. That’s all I remember.
I woke the next morning feeling bothered by it and relayed the dream to Dave, as I usually do when I have very clear and detailed or odd ones. He told me it was just a random dream, as his way to assure me.
Well, a couple of days later, I’m woken in the middle of the night by noise downstairs. My intuition and mom instincts know immediately that it’s Astrid dashing around the living room like crazy, as a result of being spooked by our male cat, Boojum. I get out of bed because I can hear her continue freaking out and running about, and start to head down the stairs when in the dimly lit corridor I see her shadow sprinting up the stairs and the sound of her nails on the wood clambering and sliding about from her speed. She’s in flight mode and when she gets scared like that it’s hard to center and calm her for a while. The only thing she knows – that any rabbit or prey knows – is to run like heck and escape at all means. When she sees me she doubles back down the stairs leaping several steps at once and appearing to take a sliding side tumble (or at least that’s what I could make out in the shadowy dark), not expecting me to show up, and then turns back around and passes me, while heading under the bed upstairs to hide.
All I remember is being horrified by the sound and sight – just like in my dream – as I’m just thinking about her injuring herself while running blindly.
I continue down the stairs just to see if my instincts had been right and there was Boojum, sheepishly sitting upright in front of the opening to her pen, as if to say, “What? I didn’t do anything.”
I knew that he’d entered her area in the middle of the night to steal some hay or water while she was peacefully just laying there in her meditative/off-planet mode, as she does, and when she realized he was there it was too late. It felt like a stealth attack and her prey instincts put her in flight mode, feeling like she was threatened by this sneaky predator moving in the shadows nearby.
I immediately ran back upstairs to check on her and found her huddled under my side of the bed, scared. I talked to her calmly and was worried, wondering if she was alright.
I went to the center of the room in front of the bed and laid down to wait for her to come out and she did. That’s when I noticed her lifting her front right paw up now and then, as if it was tender to put weight on it. And then she stopped to sit and lick at it and groom her face and the paw. This was on and off now and then. So of course I panicked, thinking she may have broken, fractured, or sprang her paw.
I was a mom mess at 2 am.
Like I’ve done in the past with my babies, I decided to lay there on the floor with her all night if necessary. I remember once spending the entire night, awake, under the bed with Nestor when she was sick, in order to see her through the night.
So I grabbed my pillow and wrapped a towel over me (all I could find quickly) and laid by her side in the dark while administering Reiki and calling forth all of my healing energies and help. I did this for about two hours and she stayed next to me laying mostly still and only moving a few times in different positions. When she did move she was still lifting or licking her paw, but grateful for my presence, the energy, and my talking her through the fear to a place of centered calmness again. You can be assured I gave my all for love.
She nosed me a few times and after the last time she did so, she then made her way back down stairs, saying, “Thank you and I’ll be alright now.”
I felt her telling me she wanted me to get some rest, so I made my way back to bed, falling asleep while sending her more healing energy and praying for the highest good to unfold the next morning. I only slept a couple of hours.
I woke and checked on her immediately and she was doing her normal routines, eating, drinking, pooping – all signs we rabbit parents look for because they are crucial to their well being. But on rare occasion I still saw her pick her paw up slightly or lick it. Not often, but even if once, it’s enough to warrant worry.
I couldn’t see anything and there wasn’t any blood anywhere. I didn’t want to poke and prod too much in case of anything being broken. So, I felt that taking her to a vet was the better option than my digging around. The challenge being that the next day we had to leave to travel to our new location, it was a Friday, and we were in a small mountain town.
I searched online and found a local vet, five minutes away, but didn’t see anything about them treating rabbits or exotics. I looked up where we were going next and DID find a vet that treated rabbits there and had great reviews about their rabbit knowledge and care.
While I wrestled with what was in her best interests – waiting to get her to a rabbit vet, or taking her in immediately to a vet that didn’t treat rabbits, I went upstairs to get ready in case I needed to leave right away while I asked for a sign and the highest good to be clear.
As I made my way to the second floor, my eyes were directed to something tiny on the corner of the stairs. I bent to pick it up and discovered the puzzle piece needed.
It was Astrid’s nail – the whole thing! I know her nails because she has dark blackish-brown ones and they are very thick. So now I knew that she had lost a full nail in her frantic clambering on the stairs in the middle of the night. Oddly, there was no blood on it, her paw, or the carpets or stairs, and the end where it came off was hollowed.
So far, all of this mirrored my dream – the tip of her foot cut off (in fact turned out to be her nail), the hollowed out area where it came off was how the nail appeared, as well as no signs of blood. The towel I looked for in the dream to wrap her in seemed to end up being the towel I wrapped myself in for the two hours I laid with her and yes, I did spend time trying to figure out which vet was best, as I weighed all the options and played out the scenarios and how they would affect Astrid in the long run – just like how in the dream I stressed for an hour about the same.
Finding the full nail with hollowed end posed the concern that I might not be able to see the site of where the nail came off and it could get infected, and that with this kind of pressure to rip it off, perhaps she might have a broken toe or some other kind of damage.
I decided to call both vets. First the rabbit vet where we were headed to get their thoughts. They agreed that if I could get her in right away it would be better, to avoid potential infection. Problem was we’d be traveling Saturday, so couldn’t get her in that day and both vets were closed on Sunday, so Monday was only available at the new place. But to me, that was just too long to wait and wonder, or have things potentially go wrong. Still, I made an appointment there just in case, as they had barely any spots open, while I continued to assess the situation.
I then called the local vet to ask if they saw rabbits, see what they thought, and to relay the incident, as to me it felt like something that could be assessed even if not expert with rabbits being that dogs and cats can also lose nails.
To my luck, the technician that answered was very sympathetic to the situation, has had many rabbits of her own, knows how to handle them, and knows quite a bit about them. She asked the doctor if she’d see Astrid even though it’s not her specialty and the doctor was more than accommodating. She relayed that if any extra advice or meds were needed that the doctor would confer with rabbit vets she knew in other areas. They were completely full that day, but said if I could drop her off in the next half hour after their scheduled surgery that morning, they would fit her in in between the appointments that day and watch her for us in the meantime.
So, I took her right away. I was sad to have to leave her for a few hours, especially since we were traveling the next day, which meant she’d have to be in her traveling case two days in a row. I also didn’t like leaving her with an injury by herself, but with the pandemic, curbside drop-offs and pick-ups are the only way anyway.
Of course I spent those long hours away from her thinking of her, telepathically talking to her, and sending energy while I calmed myself down in the solitude of the mountain on a ski run all by myself awaiting the doctor’s call.
And I got the best possible news. The doctor called and confirmed that she had torn off the nail, but there was no redness, no blood, no swelling, or any signs of inflammation or tear to the skin surrounding it. Although it was a relatively new injury, it all looked fine. The soft inner part of the nail stub was still there (why I saw the hollowed out bottom portion of the nail) and she said that’s why her paw is sensitive. She said it’s like if we cut our nails too short and that sensitivity we’d experience. So if she happens to touch it a certain way, this is why she will pick it up or lick it, as it’s tender. But the good thing is, it is not a weight bearing toe that she lost it from. So this is why there’s only occasional tenderness experienced.
And, she examined the foot and toe and felt no breaks in the bone so didn’t feel it necessary to x-ray her. Even if her toe had been fractured, it simply would have to heal on its own, as there’s little they can do and she said that rabbits heal pretty quickly in this regard. That actually was the case for the human/part rabbit me 😉 as I’ve broken my toe and both feet in recent years and there was no setting involved – just natural healing time to mend.
The doctor noted the same as I did that Astrid didn’t seem to be in any major pain except for the random tenderness, which had already decreased since the time of first impact. We both agreed that meds didn’t feel like the right option since she continues with all of her normal behaviors, is moving around normally, and there’s no sign of infection beginning. Meds can mess with their digestive systems and eating behaviors. So, I was told to keep an eye on her and if any behaviors change or I notice infection beginning, her not able to stand on the paw, or bad odor from the paw (sign of infection), to bring her in immediately. The nail will eventually grow back and once it starts in a few weeks, it will grow strong around the inner soft part and she’ll be good as new. This vet said they actually weren’t going to be open this weekend at all, but told me to call her and she’d come in just for her, which was very sweet. Or, I could take her to the rabbit vet in our new location.
I went to pick her up and she was so happy to see me and go back home. She continued on with normal behaviors and I hardly saw her pick her paw up, if at all, and the next morning we were on the road with Astrid on my lap in her carrier doing amazing as she always does.
We arrived at our new place where we won’t be leaving again for four weeks, so it’s the perfect settled time to allow her nail to heal, while there’s a good rabbit vet close by if needed, and for both she and I to integrate all of the energy themes streaming through.
And it didn’t take her long to get comfy in her new surroundings. I was grateful to find there to be no stairs in the new place, wall-to-wall carpeting so it would be soft on her paws, and a cozy compact home for the family to be all close together. Since getting here I haven’t actually seen her lift or lick her paw like she was anymore and she’s continued with all normal behaviors. In fact, she’s zoomed around with exuberance, binkied, and flopped harder than I’ve ever seen her flop (even Dave remarked he’d never seen her do this) – all signs of one happy, healthy, secure bunny. And she’s continued to have a fully open pen 100% of the time with mutual trust between us.
She’s even found her new throne.
Don’t you just love all the cute, eclectic western boots surrounding her and the bears, moose, and fish on the ottoman guarding her that connect with the animal messenger theme of Part 1 and with how I keep mentioning the recurring appearance of bears in my dreams, the sighting of the moose a few weeks ago, and my being a Pisces (the fish, who inhabit the watery emotional depths of the sub and unconscious).
The boots feel to reflect the spirit of independence, confidence, endurance, the American dream, traditional values, and visions of the old South West. They also speak to New Frontiers and having a dream you’re not afraid to go after. And while they were the beginning of freedoms for some, they also stomped on the freedoms of others.
Astrid LOVES this chair so much and will sit in it while we watch movies at night, lay in it sometimes awaiting us to come home from our outdoor time, and sits in it at night while we sleep. How do I know that? Because I can see both the chair and her pen space from where I sleep at night and can see her shadow and silhouette of her ears peacefully sitting on her throne listening to the silence of the night darkness.
It’s a great vantage point for her to stay centered and aware of all that is around her. Perhaps assisting her to be more present and conscious with expecting the unexpected.
It’s been a huge relief to see her bounce back immediately and on her way to healing. It’s also been so beautiful to see her pick right back up and build upon all of her enhanced connective, joyous, and expansive behaviors she’s evolved into on this journey. The cats have even been hanging out with her more. We’ve witnessed more nose-to-nose encounters with Boojum and Sweet Pea hanging out with her under the bed.
And as for the tie-in with Part 1, indeed there is the connection to releasing primal patterns that came through the actual experience itself that Astrid went through.
She had a moment of vulnerability, like I did the day I could feel the streaming through of collective anxiety, and then got overwhelmed by the oncoming primal energy that Boojum in his predator and very raw, primal behaviors embody. He’s not a super spiritually focused soul, but instead has come into this life to be more base and core focused in his experience of life – to feel the sensual aspects of physicality, luxuriating in ego-based immediate needs, and being instinctual and survival motivated. In this way, he reflects to me Astrid’s T-Rex.
Boojum didn’t mean to harm Astrid, but the primal energy he carries was a trigger to the core prey essence that is embedded within Astrid’s DNA, even if she IS conscious of more. And when we aren’t present and grounded (she is often integrating and journeying off-planet or in the in between realms), then things can knock you off balance very easily. They can take you by surprise and cause trigger reactions instead of having the ability to respond with more presence when you are embodied and centered.
The wild and prehistoric animal dream in Part 1 spoke to the clearing initiation for big change coming through the purging and releasing of old core energies. These collective pools of untamed, primitive and survival mode instincts have been unconscious for so long and are now surfacing in order to integrate them more consciously through compassionate embrace.
On some level Astrid called this experience up in order to move through more of these patterns and releases, just as I was working through them after the dream, and we all are worldwide.
As I mentioned, we also seem to help buffer the energy for others, the more we each can work through the energies, and I feel that Astrid did her own share of that buffering in taking on the old prey/predator, victim/perpetrator energies. On a soul and higher self level, she wasn’t afraid to face this fear – one of the greatest she would have as a prey animal. And played out this triggering experience in order to move through it, just as I have been facing the fears of the mountains through skiing every day these past weeks so I can integrate the core patterns more of these unknown terrains and these vulnerable spaces.
And rather than have something really horrible happen, it was only her nail – the tip of the foot that represents Pisces, watery, unconscious energies (like the ocean the animals ran to in my previous dream) that broke off. But it was not a vicious or horrible injury. It was one that evoked tenderness, both in helping to remember the value of the incident and the energies through physical tenderness, and to represent the bridge to wholeness and healing – through a tender heart and more compassion and kindness.
This was demonstrated by how she’s held no ill feelings toward Boojum or either cat, when she could very well have gone into defensive mode with charging and grunting and running them off when they come around. She could also have allowed the old triggers to consume her and put her in fear mode, but neither happened.
Instead, I’ve seen her AND the cats both engaging one another more since we arrived to our new place and without animosity or fear. They have been sitting closer, edging into each other’s spaces, seeking to be with one another, and Astrid has even allowed Boojum to sit at the back of her throne above and behind her while she sits in it, with both of them at peace. There’s even been a lot of super cute engagement on Astrid’s part where we witness her literally hopping in front of Boojum back and forth, asking him to play with her.
Just as I wrote in Part 1, “the interaction confirmed for me that these energies only hurt us if we try to run from them, dismiss, fight, or even deny them. There’s a sense of their wanting acknowledgment and understanding of their place within the framework.”
Although Astrid was thrown into a core reactive place of panicked fear when Boojum startled her, it was evident after the two hours I laid with her doing energy work for the highest good that night, that she had moved through things and integrated it with my support.
We are both deepening into being bridges of compassion for the collective purging, as best we each can. And while the DNA redesign that we’re all experiencing is hugely transformative, it feels like it can be integrated with greater ease than one might think. It asks of us to be open to the possibilities, to expect the unexpected, surrender to tenderness, and to trust that things are in divine alignment for the highest good of all concerned.
So, Part 2 was about a revealing, precognitive dreamscape that prepared me for the unraveling of Astrid’s literal experience to release primal patterns. On some level, the dream helped me to process things on the subconscious levels so that I could be more present for her.
Yet, at the same time, it was a shared experience of releasing primal patterns, as I feel everything Astrid does as if it’s my own, and so we went through it all together. I got to have my triggered reactions to it all, breathe my way back to centering and empowerment, and together we harnessed love to walk us through it. Not to mention, I was able to look at my own old patterns of judgment or fear around these energies through those raw emotions that took place at 2 am in the full darkness of the night.
But when brought to light in the dawn of the day, the shadowy figures, horrifying sounds and sights, and raw fears all softened to reveal the heart’s resiliency through compassion and willingness to understand each part for what it is.
Of course there is so much more I could express about all of the symbolism that took place through this experience, but you may be able to uncover those pearls for yourself.
I actually thought that this would be the conclusion to this theme desiring to be channeled through, but in fact on 2/2/21, three nights ago, I had another dream that wants to be shared and within that dream I was specifically shown three parts. So, I guess there’ll be one more.
Both Astrid and I have been feeling this Scorpio Full Moon in the days leading up to it quite strongly. I wasn’t paying attention specifically to it, but Astrid just like all rabbits, was hugely attuned to the Moon and the Cosmic frequencies pulsing through Earth. She gave me her wise and endearing look when I had that a-ha moment of connecting dots to recent experiences with the energies abound. She knows I don’t need confirmations of things, but that it does put reason to the rhyme of cycles that take place seemingly out of the blue.
There is definitely a collective release taking place and a ton is shifting on the subtle inner landscapes, which I feel is what is happening to so many people I’ve heard from where there’s a mix of intensity surging through alongside breakthroughs. It’s also what’s playing out on the world-wide level.
I recently explained it like this to a dear friend after my post about releasing the In Lak’ech series of Five paintings:
After posting that yesterday, I found myself done for the day. It was kind of a collapse or surrender. I am feeling the collective release it involves, which I feel is taking place right now across the globe, as we enter greater depths of these shadow parts finally. They are awakening to the conscious level more, or at least starting to surface or break away… this reminds me of cleaning a caked-on greasy pan in sink water. The more you scrub, the dirtier and murkier the water gets, and it might take a while to scratch away at it, but small particles release and eventually surface before everything is wiped away. It feel like the collective is at these stages of scrubbing and releasing stuff into the consciousness pool and now we’re all figuring out what to do with them and what kind of clarity we would like to see come from it. And individually, we’re doing this too for the collective…Although I know we are constantly cracking these codes to free us of conditioned enslavement, the impact on these subtle levels is so tricky. We may see it, or not, but then to actually do something with it is a whole other thing.
We are left with a dilemma, when once we tap into more of our true power, as to what we want to create from here on forth.
Astrid and I have both been going through a huge purging on the outer landscape, to reflect what we’re shifting on the inner landscape.
I shared about it on my Instagram and that’s what the photo above is about, which felt so fitting for Astrid’s post message today about letting go.
This was the caption I used for it:
After a year and a half of enjoying her royal throne, with only small redecorating touches recently, she decided to follow in mom’s footsteps and completely go wild with change. She’s been watching me with wide eyes, as first I did tiny changes (and so she mirrored that) and then I undid both our shared office space and my bedroom closet, throwing things on the floor and bed big time (and so she did the same), as I completely revamped everything with the biggest Spring purge and reorganizing I’ve done to date. Immediately in response, Astrid decided to go crazy on her chair and not only broke through the pretty adornments I’d added for her from her last redecorating choice, but took out the foam insides into bunches of pieces! I couldn’t do anything but laugh when I saw her laying like this so proud with evidence of her work all around her, as if to say to me, “look at the work I’ve done too so I can embrace the new!” So, I’ve since redecorated her center rug without chair, which she’s feeling out and enjoying so far. I did find another chair, in case she decides she wants one again, that I think may work very well for her without need for “redecorating” but am holding off to see how she likes the new set up first and will go from there. Gotta love her! We’re so much alike!
We are both enjoying the fresh openness created by these changes, which allows for the new to flow in more freely and easily. It’s also enabled us to draw in what is frequency-aligned because of our shifts, while also holding an open free space for the unknowns we can’t see yet to find their way to us.
Sometimes we don’t know what is to come or what something looks like that we want, but in letting go, we clear our energy fields so the clarity of that authentic-now inner voice can bring to us the perfect things we had no idea with our minds would be for our highest.
A clear heart draws in clarity.
We become the abundant beings that we are and the way to draw in something aligns all on its own because of taking that action of trust.
Every time we trust and release, abundant energies continue as they are meant to, by flowing in and out.
This Scorpio Moon highlights letting go, regenerating, deepening, intensifying, creating more intimacy with all of our parts, reclaiming our essence and inner wisdom, delving into the mystique and magick of the inner labyrinth, invoking greater courage, clarifying more understanding, making way for the new, and reviewing or perhaps even renewing any intentions you may have.
A flooding of emotions can definitely be part of this, as fears, deep unconscious and shadowy stuff releases into light.
I’ve noticed that since Astrid’s chair was removed, she’s spent a lot of time on the center of her round sparkly green, grass-looking rug under her favorite black iron butterfly sleigh where magickal things sit atop the three platforms that float above her.
It feels to be like an etheric rabbit tunnel of that deep mystery, magick, and Cosmic abyss she is harnessing for transmutation.
I get that she wanted some more open space right now as a clear slate she and I can create from.
Astrid shares, “As you write your new story, so am I. And yet, we are writing it together. One that tells of many journeys yet to share in ways creativity has yet to birth. We are engaging a Cosmic excavation accessed deep within our hearts and it connects us both to the heart of ourselves, and to one another – to include all consciousness. Most importantly it connects us to the heart of creation that is ours to weave anew. So what holds you back? Although time is an idea, there is no greater moment than now to begin. It doesn’t matter what has gone before. With every discomfort and stretch you dismantle the hold of roots awaiting the elixir of your love. What blossoms is of your making.”
I don’t know about any of you, but I for one have enough of anyone writing my story for me. And that includes the stuff I carry as both past fears, perceived limitations, and shared ancestral and collective conditioning.
Astrid is a protector of the sacred, embodied in a strong, courageous, and enduring rabbit body. She walks the worlds of both light and dark. She is both warrior and harmony keeper. She is a bridge of understanding and compassion because she has walked in each reality and can move in and out when necessary. She is action-oriented and also eternally patient.
She is a warrior of unconditional love in its highest form.
Today happens to be Cosmo’s birthday – my sweet rabbit son in the stars. He would have been 13.
He is an ambassador of love and compassion in pure essence.
Astrid is like the great guardian or protector of what he stands for both because she is the same AND because she has extra layers that enable her to merge into worlds he needn’t step into. He is the energy and she both is that energy as well as protects it with the ability to engage on levels that invoke the seed of potential to stir.
We all have different gifts and to embrace with clarity what they are is part of this letting-go energy through self-reflection that permeates.
If we are willing to see the hidden, which can be engaged with curiosity and a willingness to simply observe it without judgment, we can begin to bridge a new and more clear understanding of what stories have been our motivations in life.
We can see what has been working overtime in the background simply because we didn’t acknowledge it.
To have that willingness to see something creates a click within.
Just because we see it, doesn’t mean it can hurt us.
It only hurts us when we don’t want to see it, so it sabotages our lives because it can.
Astrid and I send our deepest love to you during these reflective and intense energies. You are not alone.
Last weekend Astrid received a new, wood castle tower to replace her toppling over, cardboard carrot cottage. I got her the cottage when she first came home to live with us and she immediately went at renovating it by chewing open the carrot windows and widening doorways to let in more light, create clearer vision, and have easier in-and-out access. Eventually, she started chewing the backside wall almost completely where the second story sat above the first, and the whole house became the Leaning Tower of Pisa – or like a friend said, “the Leaning Tower of Carrot.”
And this is where today’s blog inspiration comes from, as Astrid points out, “There is nothing random about this, mom. Reflect back for a moment and you’ll see what I mean.”
She’s right. When I first gave her the carrot cottage we were living in our condo – the tree house in the sky above Lake Tahoe – and were in a bit of flux with our living situation and decisions on what we wanted to create from there, what home looked like to us, new ideas around business ventures and long-term planning, and even what I wanted to do with my current inspirations of writing and so forth.
Hence, a bio-degradable, non-permanent, and easily mobile carrot cottage for Astrid – my reflective counterpart.
But just as we outgrew our tree house and decided upon a forest-side dream home that we, too, wanted to renovate, Astrid let out her energy larger and larger and I began to create a room of similar dream-home quality for her.
This all coincided with us rapidly moving many parts of our life at once, and setting into place brand new foundations that were strongly anchored, but also much more integrated and balanced. We continued to fine-tune our lives, cleared out the old, listened to what our hearts had to say, and worked on getting greater clarity of focus and efficiency while building and recreating.
Astrid continued to mirror this and more and more shifts to her little Wonderland realm began to happen while I listened to her needs and saw her for who she is. So, even what she started off with when first moving into this home, transformed. Much like it did for me.
All but that cardboard carrot cottage, which every morning she would chew away on more and more.
She tells me that she was doing this for three-fold reason.
One, she was moving energy through that chewing, as rabbits do, and this in reflection and addition to changes she processes and supports beyond even herself.
Two, she was trying to get my attention that this house just won’t do anymore. “I want a better lookout place to oversee things in the forest and to see into the Cosmos when the stars come out. I want a stronger fortress to create boundaries when I need them from the energies abound, so I can do my work more easily. I prefer my feet feeling grounded and supported with a strong foundation, rather than walking on flimsy, moving cardboard. I prefer castles over cottages because it’s who I am and deserve it – thank you for seeing that. I want to go bigger.”
And three, she wanted to remind me about the concept of building the new, which you can’t do upon an old foundation because the new structure will simply fall down. In order to build the new, you must work from the ground up, clear out all of the old that lies deep under the surfaces as well – the hidden stuff – and then rebuild and recreate from a whole new vision. This will create something lasting.
She’s so right.
Astrid would like me to break the latter one down further into digestible pieces of understanding. So, here we go.
Many times we try to build the new, but we don’t take time to look under the demolished building to see what it was standing on in the first place.
You can’t simply just put on new clothes, change location, get plastic surgery, or buy a new car.
Whatever you carried with you from before will still be there emanating and magnetizing things regardless of what the outside looks like.
But, if you do some psychic surgery, excavate into the emotional caverns of your heart, explore the inner realms and dig up the roots of your beliefs and patterns, you can then integrate and transmute, clear, and move beyond.
Then, the new you create has the ability to firmly root in clear fresh soil, without any of the old plants fighting for nourishment and energy.
Your new won’t come toppling down surprisingly one day when these old roots start surfacing again.
Astrid knows of these things because she and her rabbit family are so connected to Mother Earth.
They hear her vibrations and understand the inner workings that support vibrant and renewing ecosystems.
They hear the vibrational frequencies emanating beneath the surface and can see beyond what we present to them.
They see things for how they really are.
And so Astrid compels us to take a deeper look.
If we want to stand firm with our new visions, then we need to be willing to tear down, chew up, and process that stuff we don’t want to experience anymore, find their gifts, and transmute them into a brand new reality.
Don’t forget your parts along the way.
If your carrot cottage no longer suits the essence of you, then build yourself a strong castle tower where you can see more clearly from.
Yet, don’t forget those roots!
Astrid thinks everyone would do well with having some rabbit teeth for those nasty little buggers.
Chew, grind, and chew again, until they’re broken down and easily digestible.
Doing so will provide the nourishment needed to create new realities based on wisdom of the past and vision of the future, integrated right here and now.
Have a question for Astrid? She welcomes you to share them and we both send a lot of love to everyone processing the old and working on creating and building the new.